Original subtitles

Doobie, doobie.

Welcome to Silent Disco.

I come by the office to beef up security because my former CEO is acting nuts.

And what do I find?

My current CEO acting nuts.

I know how this looks, but we actually had a very productive day.

Oliver.

Who is that? Minnesota Matt.

Does it even work here?

No. Yeah.

Did I make a mistake in promoting you, Crispy?

No, no, sir, you did not. Well, then you and thing one and thing two better

start acting like C -suite executives.

We can't afford another scandal in this agency. Next time I drop by this office,

I better not find another bacchanal.

Wild sex party.

Oliver, no.

Monica? Yes.

You're cleaning your own place.

Uh -huh.

Oh, God, this can't be good.

I see that you bought some snacks and balls.

Grab a cheese puff.

I think you're still going through the stages of grief.

What? The stages of grief.

This is depression?

Oh, no, no, no, no, Jess. I am fine.

See, I needed something to do.

Now that I've stopped working, so I fired the housekeeper and I've taken up

cleaning. And, oh, as a side benefit, I've rediscovered new wave music.

Okay.

Veronica Rubin sells Bat Mitzvah?

We're not attending, are we?

Since her dad refused to take my calls when I went groveling to him for work.

Yes, we are going.

I'll confront him in person. Plus, you know, it's better not to drink alone.

I don't think that's a good idea. Oh, no, I'm fine. Oh, jeez, it's 9 a .m.

Monica,

you're wearing sweats with a drawstring.

Oh, God.

You're right.

It's over.

Work was my life.

When they took that away, it killed me.

Sweetie.

Please don't drink that.

Always drinking it, okay?

Oliver is, like, really mad about the silent disco and, I don't know, it's

got me shook.

Do I know what I'm doing?

No.

What? You don't. But literally nobody does unless they're, like, a pediatric

cardiologist. Everyone is faking it until they make it.

To quote the late, great Kiki Palmer. No, no, no, no, Ben.

She's the wither.

Oh, damn.

All right.

To quote the currently alive Kiki Palmer, I don't know this man.

He could be walking down the street and I wouldn't know a thing.

Sorry to this man. Where's the Chris guy always looked up to?

The one who had freshman orientation, ice cream social, got everyone chatting

and feeling connected.

Even the ones with IBS who couldn't eat dairy.

Yeah. You were born for this. I know, that's right. This is what you do.

Thanks, guys.

I got this.

What's this?

The Daily Binder.

It's Monica's schedule for the day.

But this is insane. This is like five cheesecake factory menus. Annabelle.

You know what?

You know, it's fine. I'm going to spend today plowing through this.

Elliot, I am placing you in charge of the budget, a .k .a.

CFO.

What stands for?

Chief Financial Officer.

I don't like cheese.

It's given appropriation.

How about Q, financial officer?

Great. Love it.

And Clem, you are in charge of overseeing department, a .k .a.

COO, charismatic operations officer.

It makes sense. I'd be in charge of res.

Oh.

Fake it till we make it.

We've got this, guys.

It's going to be quick.

Okay. That's really good.

You know what you're doing? No.

You? Not a damn clue.

Do you know what this is?

Your second alcoholic drink in 10 minutes.

It's a Shapiro Lafayette Cabernet.

Retails for $2 ,300 a bottle.

Gorgeous. It's got this deep ruby plum color, full of smoke and herbs.

Just the slightest hint of pen ink.

And do you know how it comes by these exquisite attributes?

The winemaker's feet.

Time. Time.

It's bottled in 1970, and the longer it ages, the stronger its flavors grow, the

deeper its colors turn.

It becomes more complex.

That was beautiful, Monica.

And it would make amazing coffee.

Oh!

Yeah, we're trending.

for this ad. Monica Marks is everything that is wrong with this country. She is

the reason people hate America. Monica Marks lives at 949 Hubert Street.

Oh, they have my address?

That's crazy. And why do you get off scot -free? And also, Doug Garcia looks

like the very hungry caterpillar. If the very hungry caterpillar had the face of

Kim Jong -un.

I'm not even Korean.

Enough. It's one thing for them to disparage our ad. It's another thing to

defame us personally.

What's he doing?

I'm going to take a show. I do not smell good.

Then I'm going to find a way to fight back. They can't cancel us.

I'm going to restore our good names and bring us back to the top.

That's the Monica Marks I know.

Sorry. I just have to take this.

Hi, this is Doug. How can I make your dream come true?

I had to take a job as an online concierge.

Just until we get our jobs back.

We can get some chimpanzees. Now, I must warn you, they will rip off your face.

Now, how much do you like the people going to your party?

Your in -laws. Okay, I get it.

Hey, Annabelle.

I started highlighting the important stuff, and now everything is

You have an urgent phone call from FiberMove. They're really angry about

auto -reply email. What? Why?

Hi, this is Krista, the new CEO.

Per my therapist, I will be taking some time to calibrate to my new position and

will not be responding to emails for the next two to three weeks.

Peace and kiss emoji.

Yeah. You're ignoring clients that pay this agency millions of dollars. That

for my mental health, okay? And I refuse to apologize for that. They're

threatening to call Oliver.

Again, I apologize profusely, and I am so excited to find out that Colorectal

Cancer Awareness Month is just around the corner.

We'll start working on a social media angle, ASAP.

Find out what fiber move is.

I'm so delighted that you called me. What can I do for you?

Well, Trish, you're the best publicist in New York City, so tell me.

How can I rehabilitate my image?

When it comes to being canceled, I tell all my clients the same thing.

Go to confession.

Confession. Forgive me, world, for I have sinned.

An apology.

On camera, of course.

God doesn't absolve you of your sins anymore.

TikTok does.

Thou, Thou. I know you're an account executive, but what's the T on budget?

The T?

As in, what are they? Yeah, Val.

Okay, well, budget is a predetermined limit on spending.

Have you never cut an expense because you just couldn't afford it?

No. Okay, as an example, when I discovered that Tanya had cleaned out

bank accounts to go shack up with Gordo, who... By the way, sells pineapples out

of the back of his pickup.

I had to limit my spending.

So I ate ramen for three years.

Oh, that's dark, Bill.

I'm not in a good way.

This is the agency's budget.

Where you see red, that's a line item that's over budget.

Oh, oh my, this is a greed.

Whoever's in charge of the discretionary department is in trouble.

Discretionary is not a department, and it's over budget because you and Clem

redecorated the office and threw a churro and llama party. The llama alone

$10 ,000.

Plus medical expenses.

So if I'm hearing you correctly, we need to start eating ramen.

Well, okay, I got it. We'll sell the office furniture on Facebook Marketplace

and advertise it as mid -century modern.

Oh, the millennials are going to come in rows.

Yeah.

I sincerely apologize for the ad slogan, which I have come to realize was

insensitive. While I meant no harm, I was wrong.

And moving forward, I intend to be more empathetic in my thoughts and actions.

I am truly sorry.

Thank you.

And scene.

Perfect. You look fabulous.

Ugh, I feel disgusting.

Dirty. What am I, a grown woman apologizing to children? Oh, oh, I'm so

did one thing wrong, and now you're going to cancel me? Gen Z has ruined

country. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them.

Ugh!

Mark, can I remember when I had to push the go live button in order to start the

live stream? Yeah, uh, well... Funny thing, uh, seems like my stubby baby

fingers actually missed the button. And we weren't live streaming during your

apology.

But we were live streaming everything after that.

I still don't know how to turn this thing off. It's not responding to my

I don't know what to do. We're live right now.

I'm working.

I can see you.

Come in.

Okay.

Hi, Clem.

I was told that I should talk to you about a problem that I'm having.

Why? Because it's your job. Of course.

I... help.

You... you... you... you... What are you doing?

I forgot that only works on Zoom.

Annabelle, take a seat.

Okay.

Um... I,

um...

I have to make a lot of copies for Matt.

That sucks.

Working with him is the word.

That is not the problem.

Okay.

He's asking me to make a lot of personal copies for him. The other day, a client

almost ended up with a Dungeons and Dragons sheet.

Apparently, Matt's character is a lizard person who sticks his teeth like

bullets. I just want it to stop. I bet.

Well, thanks for sharing.

No, no. I need you to mediate this.

Oh.

Okay. Then, yeah, sure.

I could do this.

You're both in departments, and I'm in charge of departments.

So... Okay.

My mom says you two should hug it out.

Annabelle, do you consent to a hug from Minnesota, Matt? Absolutely not.

Okay. That's your choice.

My job here is done.

I'm going to give you two the space, and you can leave whenever you feel ready.

All right?

Whatever. I'll just make your stupid copies. Great.

Great. I'm going to send you a JPEG. It's a photo of me in a wizard outfit.

was made for a woman, but I sewed up the thigh slit.

I need 30 colored copies.

Gen Z has ruined this country. Ruined. I hate them so much. I hate them.

Monica.

I'm going to tell you what I told Paula Deen in 2013.

You're cooked.

Wait, hold on.

There must be something we can do.

Well, we could try the drug addict approach.

Oh, yes.

Let's do that. How do we do that? We alter the public's perception by getting

you into therapy, acknowledging that you have a problem and a desire to change.

I mean, the word problem feels a little strong, but okay.

Okay.

Monica's binder.

I couldn't even finish.

I ran out of highlighters. Dude, I thought this day would never end. It

It's only 2 .30.

Girl, this must be one of those parts of the world where time doesn't exist.

Like the Barbados triangle.

Oh, and the DMV.

Just came in to make sure you're ready for the magma pitch tomorrow.

What magma pitch?

In the daily binder. What? No.

But I'm already working on Boppenberger and I'm servicing existing accounts.

FYI, Fiber Move wants to put like a giant colon in downtown Chicago with a

marketing stunt.

Can someone please explain to me how I'm supposed to prepare a pitch for an

erectile dysfunction drug on top of all of this? I can do it.

I can do it.

I can service existing accounts. Please, Chrisca, let me service existing

accounts. I live to service. Okay, okay. They're yours, Minnesota Matt. They're

yours.

You won't regret this.

You will regret this.

One time he met with a client. He tried to do a backflip. He hurt himself so bad

he had to be sitting down for a year.

How do you know that? Okay, but I have to delegate.

Now, what do we do about this pitch?

Monica and Doug have been working on the deck for weeks.

I have a copy of my deck.

Yay.

And they took it.

I can call Monica.

Right, right, no.

Forget I said that.

What about Doug?

Elliot, could you talk to him?

Oh, why?

Because I'm gay?

Yeah, I can talk to him. Great.

And in case that doesn't work, I will focus on researching magma, and Clem,

do a focus group. Mm -hmm.

Yes. Yeah.

Remind me. You know, you'll get magma consumer's thoughts on erectile

dysfunction. They're probably thinking, why won't my dick work?

Mm -hmm.

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

Do you like different powders?

We can paint the shadows a different color, get another good leopold.

And no, we don't have to invite the gingerbread men.

You and Mrs. Tiny Floss got another one. Hey, you.

Elliot, how did you find me here?

Oh, this is far too much Christmas.

Uh, Grindr, I set the filters to 40 to 50 years old in Twink, and you were the

only one that popped up.

Grindr? Oh, somebody must have packed me.

Any chance you can do me a little favor?

We have this Bagma pitch coming up, and I was wondering if you'd be so kind to

let me borrow the deck that you and Monica were working on.

I'd love to help, Elliot.

I really would.

I remember what it was like to be young and try to make my mark in the city. But

I have to be loyal to Monica. I'm sorry.

I'm just looking out for my girl, too.

Yeah.

Hey, I know you didn't put Grindr on your phone, but if you did, I would tell

you to give me your phone.

Mm -hmm.

And I would download the latest new app, Man Buffet.

It's all you can eat, girl.

And I'd write you a killer profile.

Would you?

Yeah. Maybe don't say that I do community theater. It really hasn't

traction it deserves.

Okay.

Do it like that?

Make it more slack. You're not the only one.

Sir, I'm really excited to be taking the helm on Relief H -Cream. And don't

worry, I'll try not to be a pain in the ass.

It seems like you are going to be a real hemorrhoid. Central to your business

and essential to its continued success.

Sir, I intend to be the biggest hemorrhoid you've ever had.

Okay.

Harry told me you created an ad that caused quite a bit of backlash.

Followed that with a live stream about how much you hate an entire generation.

It's an overly simplified version, but... Sure. I assume you're here to

the underlying cause of your lack of empathy and understanding and make some

changes to remedy that. Do you know the story of Marlboro cigarettes?

I can't say that I do.

Well, Marlboro started out as a women's cigarette.

And then scientists figured out cigarettes cause cancer.

So Marlboro started saying their filters helped keep out those nasty, toxic

carcinogens. And sales went up.

But... Not with men.

So they have a girly cigarette and an image problem.

What to do?

Ta -da!

The Marlboro Man.

And like magic, a decent -selling girly cigarette became the best -selling manly

man cigarette in the world.

And they did that all without changing a single thing.

So, if I'm understanding you correctly, you want to remain toxic and cancerous

while tricking people into believing you're not?

Look, all I need from you is a statement telling the public that I'm healed.

Okay, get out.

Now, as a former chapstick lesbian turned soft butch hard top, I've never

experienced erectile dysfunction because I use a strap -on.

You lost me somewhere between now and strap -on, but okay.

So who can not get it up?

I hope it goes without saying, this is a safe space, okay?

Nothing leaves this office.

Jonathan, can you get it up?

You got a sad little schlong there?

Barry, does your pee -pee work?

Sorry, Clem.

Looks like nobody's comfortable talking about their penises not working. I'd

contribute myself, but I'm fully erect at this very moment.

Okay, Bill.

Hey, the pocus group went great.

I can confidently report that Bill's khakis do not hide his erection.

And that older men are incredibly anxious about discussing erectile

And you know what? Fun fact. I found out that magma was originally used to treat

angina. So, heart wiener link maybe? Something there? Hey. Hey, hi.

Hi. I got the... Oh, thank God. I know. I just emailed it to you. I downloaded

it from Doug's phone while installing a man buffet.

I felt... Bad tricking him, but as a consolation, I wrote him an exquisite

profile. He was betrayed, but he will get laid.

What's the problem?

Duck is good.

It's really good.

But it's Monica and Doug.

After all this now, you have a moral dilemma. I mean, isn't it like

dealing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Monica and Doug created it while they were here.

So technically, it's the company's property. I don't know.

We also put our own research into it. Think of it as a remix.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

And you know what? We'll come up with our own slogan, which is like the most

important part of the pitch anyways.

100%. So, what is our slogan?

Keep in mind, we have to appeal the older guys. Well, it's not just older

that use magma. I mean, my friends use it, and they feel awkward talking about

it, too.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

It's coming.

Ooh.

It's coming.

It came.

I feel as empty as a drum.

Don't know why I didn't come.

I don't know why I didn't come.

I don't know why I didn't come.

You can't solve the problem?

if you don't have the hard discussion.

And that's our pitch.

Well, it's definitely different from what Monica and Doug would have done.

But I liked it a lot.

Love acknowledging that it's difficult for both older and younger men to talk

about E .D.

Looks like we have a new campaign.

Therapy didn't work.

What's next?

Oh, the only real way back is time.

No, wait it out.

Move to the Midwest.

Come back with a podcast when everyone's memory is faded.

No, I am a New Yorker. I dine at Jean -Georges. I have a membership at the

I have seen Anna Wintour with her sunglasses off. I can't move to the

I'll end up with... Short hair, eating cheese curds. People will start calling

me a handsome woman. No. Well, if you have to stay in the city, just lay low

now. Well, I can't do that.

I have a very high -profile networking event tonight.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Bob, thanks for the call.

Not. People are tearing.

Let them.

Oh, God.

Who's here? It's Bennett Buffy.

Is it cold in here or just me?

Monica? Gabe, Marcy, congratulations.

Wonderful party.

This is my second favorite Jewish tradition, second only to Yom Kippur.

Yeah, I'm surprised to see you. I tried to get the post office to send your

invitation. Oh, and I'm thrilled to be here in New York City and not in some

godforsaken town in the Midwest.

Well, if you'll excuse me.

Sure.

Lovely yarmulke.

I don't think you can say that.

No?

Marcy and I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone for coming.

Veronica would like to come up and say a few words.

I already said everything important in Hebrew, but thanks to my parents for

paying for all of this.

You guys, I'm a woman.

Isn't she great?

Oh, wow.

Look at you, all grown up and Jewish and pink.

I'm excited for you becoming a woman, but I'm also worried because

being a woman can be awful.

Recently, as most of you know, I was canceled for being out of touch.

But I can't help but feel if a man made the same commercial, he wouldn't have

been made into a sacrificial lamb. Why are women always the lamb? Monica,

enough. Yeah, I agree. It's enough.

I have been angry. I have been depressed. I've gone through all the

grief. And I don't know. Now I just am like, like dead inside.

But Veronica, I hope for you that by the time you're my age, things are

different. But they probably won't be.

So enjoy being 12 while you can.

I'll see you guys all in hell.

Right?

Mazel tov.

Congratulations. Hello there.

Buffy, such a surprise to see you here. This being an event of religious

significance and you being the devil.

Well, you know me, I'm just here for the free drink. Although I might take home

that female of mine.

You know, I like a girl who's not too chatty.

Speaking of which, pretty rough, eh, with you? I really don't have the energy

for this. Go.

Poke somebody else. I'm not poking.

I'm not a poker.

Bit of a stroker. But I'm not going to poke you. Unless you want to.

Don't make me sick. We're about to eat.

Yeah. Taco Bell is a new talupa menu that we're eager to try, so we should

probably get going. Yeah.

All right. Well, I'm out of jokes. But hey, on a serious note, I do think it's

really crappy what they're doing to you.

I know you'll find your way back into the game. Let's have dinner.

Talk about your next step.

Okay?

Okay, you are not seriously thinking about having dinner with that man.

He's a troll, a toad, a cesspool of a human being.

He has a modicum of talent, but I have much more.

The only thing he has that I don't have is his own agency.

That too.

I've been stepping over less competent men my whole career.

I can do it again.

What is this luck? I know this luck.

Doug, we're starting our own agency.

Hold on.

Oh.

Oh, right now.

Thank you.

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