All language subtitles for Super Team Canada s01e05 Sky Noon.eng

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Original subtitles

[???]

?�It's�a�mad,�mad�world�?

?�And�guess who's�gonna�save�it�all?�?

?�It's�a�dirty�job�?

?�But�someone's�gotta�do�it�?

?�Yeah,�we�can�do�it�?

?�Super�Team�Canada!�?

?�Hey,�hey!�?

?�The�fate�of�the�free�world�?

?�Is�in�our�hands�?

?�We're�the�heroes�of�the�land�?

?�Super�Team�Canada!�??

[explosions]

[loon�calling�distantly]

[???]

[Announcer]�Previously on�Super�Team�Canada...

...and�what�are�our�heroes doing�now?

Pretty�much�nothing.

[blasting�air�horn]

-[all�murmuring]�Hmm? -Now�what?

[blasting�air�horn]

Okay,�team�meeting,�gather�up-

Team�meeting!�I�called�it.

Tie�goes�to�the�runner.

Really? What's�your�meeting�about?

I�just�want�to�go�on�record

to�being�strongly�against whatever�Niagara�says�next.

-Now,�please. -[sighing]

Very�mature.

I�disagree,�strongly.

I�called�this�meeting�first-

Well,�second is�the�first�loser.

...to�talk�about�that.

Uh-oh,�Mom�is�about to�yell�at�us�again.

It's�very�important

we�all�do�what�the�chore�wheel tells�us�to�do.

Uh,�isn't�that how�cults�start?

[RCM-PC] I�was�going�to�vacuum,

but�Poutine was�getting�romantic�with�it.

[???]

[scoffing]

If�you�think I�had�sex�with�it,

I�didn't!

We�made�love.

And�now�you�can�clean�it,

then�boil�it�in�bleach,

then�throw�it�out.

I�don't�take�orders�from�you

or�your�fascist�wheel.

I'm�a�star!

Why�would�any�magazine care�about�just�you,

and�not�us?

Also,�why�are�there still�magazines?

I�have�my�publicist�to�thank.

Of�course, I'll�never�thank�them.

It�shows�weakness.

You�hired�yourself a�publicist?

Jerk�move, yet�totally�on�brand.

I�know! I�have�a�brand�now.�See?

But�we're�a�team,

and�there's�no�"I"�in�team.

Sorry,�Sask.

[moaning�sadly]

[groaning�and�crunching]

Teams�have�stars.

If�we're�the�1970 Montreal�Alouettes,

I'm�Pierre�Desjardins.

Well,�that�reference is�insane.

RC,�can�you�explain�it?

[RCM-PC]�Can, but�prefer�not�to.

I'm�the�straw that�stirs�the�drink.

That's�why�I�got

a�Canadian�Screen�Academy Screenie.

How�did�you�win�a�Screenie?

I�said�I�got�one, I�didn't�say�I�won�one.

You�don't�want�me?

D'accord���������, you�don't�got�me.

I�leave!

[???]

[smooching]

Oh,�I'll�miss�the�vacuum.

[rumbling]

Whoa,�does�something feel�different�to�you�guys?

Maybe�the�length of�movies�today?

[telephone�ringing]

Hello?

Are�you�guys�floating,

or�is�that�just�me

and�everywhere?

[Niagara�Falls] Yeah,�here�too.

Any�idea�why?

Idea,�no.

Answer,�yes.

I'll�email�RCM-PC the�video�we�just�got.

[notification�chiming]

[film�projector�running]

[nervous�male�voice] Uh,�well,�uh...

Hello,�world.

You�may�notice I'm�not�looking�at�you,

and�why?

Because�like six�percent�of�humans,

and�a�surprising�number of�giraffes,

I�suffer�from�shyness.

So�I've�taken�control of�gravity.

That's�why�you're�all up�in�the�air,

while�I, in�my�special�little�jacket,

boys�size�four,

stay�on�the�ground,

free�from�mankind's biggest�plague,

eye�contact.

Now�I�never�need�to�face�anyone ever�again!

[evil�cackling]

See�ya!

Oh,�no,�I�won't!

[laughing�maniacally]

[Prime�Minister] We�need�to�stop�him!

This�is�happening all�over�the�world!

What�do�you�say,�Super�Team?

Can�you�take�on a�shy�little�jerk?

Why�not?

We�just�took�on a�big�pompous�one.

[Shy�Ken] Ah,�it's�a�new�day.

Finally,�I�can�go�outside,

and�even�walk�my�dog.

-[whining�and�yelping] -Great�to�be�free,

right,�buddy?

[Niagara�Falls] Stop�what�you're�doing,

and�start�picking�down after�your�dog!

Ah!�Why�are�you talking�to�me?

I�don't�want�to�be�in�earshot

or�eye�shot!

Less�gravity!

[RCM-PC]�Please�put the�gravity�back�to�normal,

or�we'll�be�forced�to�use, well,�force!

[Shy�Ken]�You�mean�your�normal.

I�want�normal�to�be�a�world in�which�I'm�comfortable,

and�the�greatest�baller on�Earth.

Oh,�come�on!�Foul!

Listen�up,�you�obvious�genius.

People�hate�this.

Their�ice�cream won't�stay�in�their�cones.

[RCM-PC] Not�to�mention�toup�e�owners.

-[Sask�groans] -And�it's�bad�for�the�economy.

I�mean,�I�don't�have�numbers, but�it's�gotta�be.

Well,�it's�good�for�me!

I�can�go�clubbing,

and�go�to�restaurants,

and�I'm�even�gonna�get�awesome at�axe�throwing.

A�new�trend that�will�be�around�forever.

We�threatened�violence,

but�now�comes�the�best�part,

doing�it.�H'waa!

Gravity.

Gravity!

Gravity,�gravity.

You're�paying, and�for�the�tow.

RCM-PC,�hack�into�Ken's�dial!

[circuits�warbling]

[RCM-PC]�Want�to�connect with�high-school�classmates?

Life�insurance�after�50?

Single�hand�models�in�your�area want�to�meet�you.

Yes,�yes,�and�I'm�listening.

What's�happening?

Did�you�use�her to�download�illegal�things?

[RCM-PC] The�new�cryptocurrency

Bolivia�can't�get�enough�of!

You've�been�brushing�your�teeth all�wrong!

I�wouldn't�have�to�use�her

if�you�didn't�put a�parental�lock�on�my�laptop.

I�only�did�that after�you�ignored

our�"no�screens�at�dinner"�rule!

That's�your�rule.

My�rule�is�that all�your�rules�are�stupid.

Guys,�first,�great�arguing.

Love�the�passion.

Second,�the�bad�guy�left.

[sighing]�There's�only one�thing�we�can�do,

the�worst�thing�ever.

Son,�are�you�just going�to�float�all�day?

Mm,�maybe�you�want to�go�out�somewhere,

and�then�not�come�back?

Eh,�shh,�shh,�shh.

I'm�watching�myself,

so�maybe�you�can�keep�it�down?

[laughing]�Down...

Good�one.

[in�interview]�Team?

More�like�I'm�the�star�golfer with�five�caddies.

[audience�laughter]

[Poutine] I'm�a�national�treasure

in�Canada,�the�EU, whatever�Macedonia�is.

[knocking�on�window] [gasping]

[knocking]

That's�probably�for�you.

Why�don't�you�go�see,

and�we�can�catch�up�later,�hmm?

Maybe�at�our�funerals.

Parents...

So�you�want�me�back.

I�guess�it's�like the�billboards,

bus�benches,

and�stripper�tramp�stamp�ads I�paid�for�say.

I�am�amazing.

No,�you're�part�of�a�team,

and�right�now, we�need�your�part.

Not�the�first�time you�needed�my�part.�[chuckling]

Heh.�I�hate�him, but,�uh,�that�was�hilarious.

Teammates�help�each�other.

Ernie�helps�Bert, Brooks�helps�Dunn,

you�guys�could�help�me with�other�examples.

[RCM-PC]�Gravity�needs�us.

Planes�can't�land,

frisbee�golf�is�impossible,

and�bartenders�can't�make layered�drinks.

So�will�you�come�back?

I'd�consider�it

if�I�know�I�won't�be�treated like�a�child�anymore.

[slurping�juice�box]

[Chinook]�The�jerk�has�a�point.

You�made�a�chore�wheel, you�censored�me,

and�you�won't�even�let�Sask hang�out�with�his�best�friend.

[Sask�groaning�sadly]

Winterpeg's�a�bad�influence.

He�burned�down�his�latest�rehab.

[RCM-PC]�If�you�ask�me...

Dentists�hate�this�trick to�give�you�teeth�of�a�baby!

You�won't�believe�what�the�cast of�"Hammy�Hamster"

looks�like�now.

Ooh,�my�jaw�dropped when�the�baby�ducks-

[powering�down]

Okay,�I'll�try�to�be less�controlling,�all�right?

But�I�would�like�to�see how�the�hamster�looks.

I�bet�older.

[Poutine]�����Au�revoir�. I'll�see�you�soon.

He'll�have�to�find�us�first, mon�petit�tabarnak.

[chuckling]

[Niagara�Falls] Okay,�the�poutine�goo

can�help�our�feet stick�to�the�ground,

but�we�also�need�help from�Poutine,�the�you.

I�like how�I�heard�my�name�twice!

Hi-ya!

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

-[spluttering] -A-way-hey-hey!

[spluttering�and�gobbling]

Suckle,�gobble,

chug�like�heroes!

[mumbling�and�gobbling]

[people�shouting�in�panic]

[Shy�Ken]�Huh, my�first�live�football�game!

I�imagined�these�to�be more�exciting.

Still,�I�made�it on�the�scoreboard.

[smooching,�dog�whining]

Huh?

How�could�that�land?

There's�no�normal�weight�that...

[Poutine]�Hope�you�weren't weight-ing�long,

and�that's�weight-ing, spelled,�uh,�W-E-I-G-H-T,

for�everyone�not�using�subtitle.

Whatever.�We're�here,

and�you�can�tell�gravity to�suck�it.

That's�not�how�gravity�works.

You�can't�tell�it�things,

but�I�can�lessen�it�even�more.

[leash�snapping]

[dog�yelping]

Oh,�well,�we�had�a�good�run.

Oops,�still�here,

and�now�we're�coming to�kick�your�tiny�ass.

[panting]

[gasping�wearily]

Give�us�five�or�ten�minutes...

You�know�I�can't�just lessen�gravity,�right?

I�can�also�increase�it!

[whistling�falls]

[whining]

Oh...

Ah!�People�with�eyes! People�with�eyes!

[groaning]�Owie,�owie,�owie.

Ah!�[laughing]

You're�being�crushed by�gravity.

Your�plan�doesn't�seem so�smart�now,�does�it?

[groaning]�To�be�honest,�no.

What�do�we�do?

I�don't�want�to�die with�a�double�chin!

This�is�my�fault

for�thinking�poutine could�actually�be�useful.

Wait,�that's�it!

We�thought�Poutine was�the�problem,

but�then�thought a�lot�of�poutine

might�be�the�answer.

What�if�the�same�is�true for�gravity?

[circuits�crackling, bolts�pinging]

Hey,�junior,

is�that�as�far�as�the�dial�goes?

No,�not�even�close!

[groaning]�Or�perhaps your�little�doll�hands

can't�turn�it�any�more.

I'll�teach�you to�draw�attention�to�me!

[power�surging]

[metal�clanging�and�straining]

I�just�caught�a�glimpse�of�you.

You're�not�shy...�[coughing] just�ugly.

I'm�a�Halifax�seven!

That's�a�nine�in�Yellowknife!

[bolts�pinging]

[metal�beams�groaning]

Stop�looking�at�me!

[smashing]

[gasping�and�groaning]

Ah,�we�did�it,

as�a�team!

Group�hug!

-[laughing] -Ooh!

[thunderclaps]

Ah! Stop�looking�at�me!

We're�cellmates, let's�chitchat.

[whimpering]�No,�no!

Stop�touching�my�little�hands!

-No! -Do�you�collect�stamps?

I�don't.

[coughing�and�wheezing]

[???]

[Announcer]�Today, we�learn�the�origin

of�one�of�the�characters.

So�sit�back,�relax,

and�then�sit�forward,�excited,

because�our�story�begins�now.

[sighing]

Something�wrong?

[sighing]�I�don't�want to�talk�about�it.

Yes! That's�what�I�was�hoping�for.

It's�just�that

my�high-school�reunion is�tonight,

but�I'm�not�going,

because�I�was�a�nerd

and�made�fun�of, and�it�still�hurts�so�much.

[groaning]�Ugh... and�how�would�that�have�gone

if�you�did want�to�talk�about�it?

Also,�I�had�a�huge�crush on�Byron,

the�lead�in�the�school�play.

He�was�the�reason�I�auditioned

for�"The�Norman�James�Breakey Story".

[laughing]�You�were in�the�school�play?

I'm�sure�that�stopped�people from�calling�you�a�nerd.

Let�me�guess, you�hate�theatre.

Ever�since�I�saw�it�as�a�kid.

It's�for�loser.

Me,�I'm�more�of�a�jock,

or�as�we�say,�a�Jacques. [kissing�noises]

[RCM-PC]�Incidentally, Norman�James�Breakey

invented�the�paint�roller.

He�was�Canada's�Steve�Jobs.

-[kissing�noises�continuing] -It�may�have�been

the�most�powerful paint-accessory�musical

ever�staged.

I�had�one�line,

"It's�a�job�I�cannot�handle!"

Hearing�"handle," Breakey�gets�the�idea,

but�opening�night, Byron�was�singing...

?�That�brush�is�slow like�burning�candle...�?

?�And�still�it's�a�job I�cannot�do!�?

[hitting�awkward�note]

-[audience�jeering]�Boo! -[director]�Loser!

"Handle,"�the�word�is�"handle!"

I�left�a�promising�career in�children's�shoe�sales

for�this?

Boo!

[audience�shouting�and�jeering]

That�killed�my�hopes�with�Byron

and�started�Mr.�Redgwell hating�me.

He�started�a�campaign

to�vote�me�"Student�Most�Likely To�Botch�Her�Line

And�Wreck�The�School�Play".

[RCM-PC]�Oh,�and�you�won! Huh,�congrats!

It�says�your�name is�Joan�Shoop?

That�is�my�name.

I�didn't�become�Niagara�Falls until�graduation.

That�night, while�everyone�was�celebrating,

I�was�cleaning�up�the�riverbank,

and�then�the�lightning�hit.

The�combination�of�lightning, puddle�water,

and�soul-crushing�depression

turned�my�skin�blue,

and�made�me�who�I�am�today.

I�decided�then�to�never�be�weak,

never�beg�for�attention.

Nothing�could�or�would ever�stop�me.

Ah!

It's�also�when�I�decided to�dye�my�hair�blue,

with�non-flammable�dye.

[RCM-PC]�So�no�one from�your�high�school

knows�you�became�Niagara�Falls?

No,�and�they�never�will,

because�I'm�not�going to�the�reunion.

But�you�can rub�everyone's�face�in�it.

Oh,�I�love rubbing�my�face�in�things.

[RCM-PC]�Don't�you�want to�go�see�Byron?

Or�some�of�your�old�friends?

My�only�friends were�Heather�and�Sophia.

We'd�share�lunch and�sometimes�have�sleepovers.

[RCM-PC]�Oh,�that's�nice.

Have�you�three�kept�in�touch?

Heather's�a�rabbit.

Sophia's�a�snake.

Class�pets.

Wow,�you�were�a�nerd.

[RCM-PC] I�think�you�should�attend.

You�only�go�through high�school�once.

Ah,�the�best seven�years�of�my�life.

I�also�say�go.

We'll�come�for�support.

Uh,�you�can�brag�about being�super,

and�also�your�relationship with�Capitaine�Crotch.

[laughing]

You've�all�given�me something�to�think�about,

and�something to�never�think�about.

[gasping] She�doesn't�mean�that.

She's�just�angry.

[Niagara�Falls] I've�made�a�decision.

I've�covered�my�blue�skin,

and�now�I'm�going to�that�reunion,�as�Joan�Shoop.

[RCM-PC] Nerd�alert!�Nerd�alert!

I�want�people to�accept�me�for�me,

not�for�my�superpowers,

and�now to�take�care�of�my�hair.

[splashing]

-[RCM-PC]�Whoo!�Hoo-hoo-hoo! -[electricity�crackling]

[RCM-PC] I'm�happy�I�could�help,

but�maybe�next�time ask�for�consent.

[???]

[bustle�of�conversation]

So,�what�do�I�do�now?

[RCM-PC]�Oh,�mingle!

If�you�need a�conversation�starter,

try�one�of�these commonly-asked�questions

on�the�internet.

"What's�your�mother's maiden�name?

In�what�city�were�you�born?

What�high�school did�you�attend?"

Yeah,�what�high�school did�you�go�to?

Anyway,�we're�outta�here.

Can't�be�seen with�a�nerd,�you�know?

We'll�DJ�from�here.

Not�Ren�Simard, not�Ren�Simard,

still�not�Ren�Simard...

[bucket�wheels�squeaking]

Janitor�McGee!

W-what,�what? Did�somebody�puke?

It's�me,�Joan�Shoop!

Oh,�right,�right.

I�remember�you.

I�leant�you�40�bucks?

Right,�right.

Don't�remember�that.

You�said�it�was�for some�inexpensive�surgery,

then�bought�weed�with�it.

Right- Oh,�uh,�hey,

I�wouldn't�mind�scoring

some�more,�uh,�surgery right�now,

if�you�can,�uh, lend�me�some�cash.

It's�not�about�the�money,

it's�about�paying�back�the...

[gasping]

Oh,�my�God.

Byron!

Still�hot.

Is�that�the�coolest�toup�e you've�ever�seen�or�what?

What�does�he�do�now?

Something�impressive�I�bet.

Uh,�he's�a�sculptor of�abstract�garbage.

When�people�see�his�work and�say,�"Huh?",

he�knows�he's�connected.

He�even�donated�a�piece to�the�school�tonight.

You�mean�that�thing in�the�hallway?

What�even�is�that?

Wow,�he's�right.

We've�connected!

I'm�gonna�go�say�hi�to�him.

Wish�me�luck.

Uh,�hey,�have�you�seen a�drawstring�bag

with�eight�fish�stickers�on�it?

[Redgwell] Do�my�eyes�deceive�me?

Look,�everyone,�it's�Joan�Shoop,

the�loser�that�couldn't�remember her�line�in�the�musical.

[all�laughing]

Bringing�up age-old�embarrassments

is�what�reunions�are�all�about.

[all�laughing]

[chanting]�Loser,�loser,�loser!

Loser,�loser,�loser,�loser!

[chanting]

Oh�god,�this�is�hard�to�watch.

Speak�for�yourself.

This�is�the�only�reason I'm�here.

Loser,�loser,�loser,�loser!

She�doesn't�want�to�be�known as�Niagara,

but�that's�the�only�way out�of�this�nerd�spiral.

[RCM-PC]�Let's�not�give�her any�other�choice,

dammit!�[chuckling]

Oh...

I�know�I�don't�normally�curse,

but�I�think�someone spiked�the�punch.

Found�it!

[???]

Congrats,�you�won�the�raffle.

Whoo-hoo!

Roger,�step�one�done.

Light�it�up.

Step�two,�buy�wrist�radio.

[grunting]

[roaring]

That's�the�signal, a�non-whistle!

Light�it�up!

[striking�match]

[flames�whooshing]

[Redgwell]�I�say�"loser," you�say�"Shoop!"

-Loser! -Shoop!

-Loser!�-Shoop! -Loser!�-Shoop!

Attention,�tormentors!

There's�a�disaster

that's�even�worse than�Joan's�hairstyle.

A�fire!

And�the�fire extinguisher's�gone.

If�I�were�you�guys,

I'd�totally�scream and�freak�out!

[panicked�screaming]

[RCM-PC]�Hold�on,

I'm�sure�someone�here has�special�skills,

maybe�even�has�super�powers

to�put�it�out

and�impress�everyone chanting�at�her!

And�I'm�sure�we�can�just�call the�fire�department.

Wait!

My�gas-soaked�sculpture could�explode!

Gas-soaked?

Why�would�it�be�soaked�in�gas?

Confusion�is�my�muse!

[exploding]

Oh,�I�can't�die as�a�high-school�teacher.

I�just�want�to�slip�things onto�children's�feet.

Is�that�so�wrong?

[screaming�and�crying]

Hey,�I�know�you�set�the�fire to�make�me�put�it�out,

but�I�won't.

These�people didn't�accept�me�then�or�now,

so�let�the�fire�department save�them.

[sniffing]

That�smoke�smells�like my�old�babysitter's�car.

[RCM-PC]�It's�pot!

And�now�everyone�is�too�stoned

to�dial�the�fire�department!

Oh,�dude.

[beeping�and�bashing]

Still�not�my�problem.

The�fire�found all�my�hidden�bags�of�weed

in�the�classrooms!

Oh�no.

Don't�worry,�guys, I'm�here�to�save�you,

and�I�guess�save�everyone�else.

[baby-talking] Should�I�save�everyone?

You�guys�always�loved giving�me�the�silent�treatment.

Jerks.

[panicked�screaming]

Everyone,�listen�up!

I�have�something�to�say!

Really?

Well,�I�hope you�don't�forget�your�line.

[laughing]

[splashing]

I�think�that's�spiked!

[RCM-PC]�Told�you.

The�punch...

How�did�you�do�that?

Because�I'm�not Joan�Shoop�anymore.

I'm�Niagara�Falls!

May�I?

[RCM-PC]�Whatever.

I'm�higher�than�God's�taint.

[electricity�crackling]

[RCM-PC]�Whoa-ho!

[???]

[gasping]�Niagara�Falls!

I�want�to�marry�you!

Really?

Actually,�no, I'm�already�married

and�my�wife�supports�me.

Sculpting�blobs isn't�as�lucrative

as�you�may�think.

Anyway,

I�am�sorry�I�was�mean�to�you.

We�all�are.

Stop. Save�the�apology.

You�hated�me�as�Joan�Shoop,

and�only�like�me�now because�I�saved�your�lives.

There's�only�two�friends from�high�school

that�matter�to�me,

because�we�always look�out�for�each�other.

-[squeaking] -Ah,�well,

three�is�always�a�tough�number for�friends�anyway.

Hey,�hey,�now�this�crap actually�looks�like�something.

[Byron]�Blech, which�means�it's�ruined.

Ruined!�[tearing�toup�e]

[sobbing�and�muttering incoherently]

I�also�owe�you�an�apology,

if�you�can�handle one�more�flashback.

[gagging]�Blegh!

I�can�explain

why�when�I�see�an�actor blow�their�line,

it�triggers�me.

You�see,�in�my�20s,

I�was�a�star

in�the�Canadian�theatre�scene,

like�a�sane�William�Shatner

mixed�with�a�more�feminine Margot�Kidder.

To�be�or�not�to�be.

That�is�what�I-I I'm�wondering...

[in�French]�����Quelle�merde!

[cackling]

Ooh!�Ow!

Who�do�you- Ooh,�nice!

Tiny�yet�fashionable.

[Announcer] And�that�is�the�genesis

of�one�Mr.�Redgwell...

Failed�teacher,

aspiring children's�shoe�salesman,

and�most�importantly,

a�character we�will�never�meet�again.

The�end.

[???]

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