Original subtitles

6 IS NOT A CROWD

It's always the same.

No. I think you're not getting it.

This is something we've talked about thousands of times.

The girl can't be waiting for you for an hour!

She's with her backpack on...

Alright.

No, no, no.

No, I don't know. Do whatever you want, really.

-Are we practicing? -Are you going to practice?

-Yes. -Alright.

Mommy, I was taught a song by Charlie.

JEALOUSY, TAKE A CHANCE AND KNOW IT

-And? What happened? -What happened?

-Come on. -Go on.

-Just a bit. -There are no more details.

-The situation was awkward. -Thanks, Carlitos.

When Carolina got there, Romina was kind of naked.

-Cunt. -No, not that.

I said "kind of naked."

-Well, could've been. -No.

Completely naked would've been "cunt out."

What am I going to say? "She's Carolina, a polyamorous girl."

I don't even know what that means.

-I don't know what that means, either. -No, and I'm learning.

So, imagine Romina.

You already know her. What am I going to say?

That I like her, but she doesn't want anything serious with me.

-No. -How did you introduce her, then?

"Carolina, a friend"?

No, you don't fuck with a friend.

Quite the opposite. With a friend is better.

I froze. I told her I went to get that thing I gave him.

Looks nice there!

It was the first thing that came mind.

I couldn't leave him there and just run away.

Besides, think.

It's not that easy to say to your monogamous ex

you're seeing many people.

I felt a little sorry. It's not that I like lying.

Did Romina buy it?

Looks like it. She didn't say anything, we kept having a normal breakfast.

Well, up to what you can call "normal" when it comes to Romina.

You know her. But there's some true to all this.

Carolina doesn't want anything serious with me.

-You don't know that. -And Romina?

-What do I know? -I don't know,

isn't she expecting something else than just penis?

-"Penis." -So polite.

-You're playing the hot shot here. -Well...

No, hey, promise me you didn't go back with Romina.

-No, no, no. -Promise.

-I promise. -Don't you "no, no, no" me.

-Always the same story. -I'm saying it's not.

-This was a Catchy thing. -Sure.

A reencounter screw. You know how the app works.

-Tell them. What is that? -Hey, hey.

-Leave him be. -Cut it out.

What are you doing? You ate the whole entrails.

-Eat chicken. -What chicken?

-Chicken's for fags. -No!

Then, eat it all.

-What's wrong? -Romina.

-Romina, again. -What happened?

No, why read it out loud? Come on!

Is she aware that you're not back together?

-Yeah. -Sorry, I lost track.

No, Romina texted me to meet tomorrow, but nothing important.

"Nothing important." If you're going to shag her once...

Once? No, zero.

Zero? Once, with that body, at least a farewell screw.

-There are more important things. -Get him out.

-One, two, three... -Relax, that'll be it.

Maybe one screw, but that's it.

You can't have a one night stand with an ex.

I mean, in Damián's head.

I don't know, I'm sorry, girl, but you should star considering

that if he got with his ex that means monogamy.

No! No, no. He was dating people over Catchy.

Several people. Romina is one more. No.

Also, she was the one who broke his heart.

You think because she's the ex, she's the only one? No.

He didn't even tell me he was going to see her.

-What's going on? -You're jealous.

Me? No!

My God. I'm not the jealous type. No.

"It doesn't exist that of 'being a jealous person',

but 'being jealous.' Jealousy is an emotion just like anger."

Don't give me your polysplaining, I've read this book 14 times now.

-It's clean. -Drop that, it's dirty.

No, no, no, honey, baby. Wait a second.

I'm going to show you this curry, it's to die for.

It's the tastiest you'll ever have and what I really want is...

Look, why don't you make use of this common friend you have

and call Verónica, text her or something.

Are you texting?

No, I'll ask her out. I'll be blunt. Cut the crap.

I agree. The bread.

The bread. The bread!

You idiot!

-You'll smoke it later. -Alright.

What happened?

Carolina wants to meet tomorrow, too.

-How's the king? -How's the tiger?

What tiger? What king? No, nothing.

I don't like everything mixing up, no.

You do like it. She goes to your place, the bed is busy.

Obviously, she wanted something and you had to give it to her.

No, I don't... I don't know if I want that with Caro.

You are being silly.

No, no, no. Stop, Damián.

There are two chicks who want to sleep with you.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

This is an opportunity a man can't let slide.

Right?

So...

-You're right. -Yes, sir.

That's the lion we want.

Two more, Beto!

-Cheers. -I love you.

Coconut milk. Coconut milk. Can you believe it?

Just, why are you running? Are you training? Just try it.

-I ask you to please... -Pato!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-I swear, it wasn't that much. -Yeah, right.

You're working out a lot. You look so hot.

What do you need?

-What do I need? -Yeah.

You're really taking this the wrong way.

I just want to know why you haven't told me anything about Carla.

What do I have to tell you about her?

I don't know, how she is,

what she likes, what kind of music she listens to...

She's not my friend from childhood.

You know, I feel a bit of resistance.

Why do you have to get horny with the mom of a student of mine?

Because I didn't know that when I got horny.

She's the only one that pays me on time, Pato.

Are you going to deny her a date?

No, no, never. But don't try to get me to play Cupid.

To me, Carla and you have nothing in common.

-You just said you don't know her. -She's way older than you, Pato.

There's no age for love.

She just got out of a heavy relationship.

Well, who hasn't gotten out of heavy relationships.

With a man.

You just dated men and I saw you do about everything with Trini yesterday.

I don't know. You're a grown-up. Date whoever you want.

-But keep me out of it. -Yeah.

-Yeah. No, no, no. -"No, no, no"?

You won't hear anything. In fact, you know what?

I'll do your laundry all month. All month!

What an offer!

No, no, no, wait. All this generosity isn't for free.

No, free, of course. What are you doing tomorrow?

Because, can you sit for Carla's daughter?

She has nobody to leave her with.

Of course, Patricia, you go. Have fun.

I love you, guys!

Alright, honey, see you later?

-Sure, babe. -Yeah?

I'll tell Lila to give you the weekends off.

She's abusing, I think.

-OK? -Hope you win.

-I can't make promises. -Well, have fun.

-Have a good time. -See you later. Thanks.

Honey, do you have anything for blisters?

"Zumber."

What's that shit?

"Zumber."

What's "Zumber"?

WHAT IS ZUMBER

ZUMBER: PROFESSIONAL CLIT SUCKER

ZUMBER AND OTHER CLIT SUCKERS: REVIEW AND OPINION OF THIS SEX TOY

ENJOY ALONE OR IN COMPANY

SEX TOY

CLIT SUCKER

CLITORIS

Listen, Lucas didn't tell me anything,

but I have a theory on Damián and Romina.

-But... -I don't want to know.

It's awful to find a girl like that, and especially Romina, no less.

-"Especially Romina"? -I don't know.

She's not just another ex, she's special. I don't know.

Special for Damián or special as a person?

I don't know. The scene in the airport, that left him,

just imagine, alone, with all the luggage, not picking up.

I don't want to know, really. Thanks, anyway.

-You don't? -No, I rather not knowing.

I'll meet with Damián and

he'll tell me all he wants to tell about Romina, about us, if there is "us."

Nice.

Ariela. Let's see.

Where the hell are you?

We're supposed to work, not be slacking off, damn it!

-What time is it? -We're fine.

-Are we late? Where's my phone? -No, we're fine.

She's so toxic!

She pressures and pressures. She drives us crazy, we're fine.

-I'm already distressed. -No, Vero, relax.

I swear, I start to get...

-I'm starting to miss air. -No, no, no. Stop. Stop.

Breathe. You just breathe.

That's it. That's it.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Hi. -Hi.

Are you sure you don't have plans?

-Because we can take her or get coffee. -No, no, no.

They don't have any plans.

Yeah, relax. It's a pleasure for us to take care of her.

-Be good, honey. -Yes, I'll be good.

-Well... -Bye.

-Bye, Mommy. -Bye.

-Let's go eat something. Are you hungry? -A little.

-Alright!. -Let's go.

Let's cook sausages and mashed potatoes.

Not sausages, some pearl oyster milanesas instead, right, Ema?

-What's that? -It's fungi.

Fungi? No, honey, sausages never fail.

Alright, Ema, what do you want to eat?

-Yeah, what do you want? -I want to try

-the teacher's oyster milanesa. -Ah!

Alright. Fine.

Are you the teacher's girlfriend?

-Yes. -You're very pretty.

Thank you! You're very pretty, too.

Am I not pretty?

Come on.

What are you doing, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

They're going to kick our asses, man.

Where the hell is Lucas?

-He's an idiot. -I know, right?

Which one are you seeing today?

Me? Both.

Are you going out with Carolina and Romina the same day?

Yeah, but at different times.

One in the evening and with the other one by night.

What?

Why are you looking at me like that? You told me to go out with both.

-No. -No, no. We told you to,

-but not the same day. -So what?

-He won't have gas in the tank. -It's not bad.

Not an impossible plan. Let's analyze it.

-Who's first? -Romina.

All good with the first one. It'll be stiff, rock-solid, firm.

-Like Pinocchio. -The second plan is sweeter.

-She'll spend the night. -That's better. It's with Caro.

-And you can last longer. -Yeah.

-If he has gas in the tank. -Exactly.

-Dude. -If you don't have gas in the tank,

you need nitro.

Or it'll be like playing pool with a rope.

Now you're making me nervous, dude.

No, stop. I have all you need in here.

You never said it couldn't be the same day.

-Let's see. -Chemical methods or natural methods?

-Natural? -A powder?

What powder? Peruvian maca.

-Do you know it? -That.

-That's a bomb. -This with water?

Yeah, Indians used to have sex with that a million years ago.

-It's a machine. -Do you always carry this with you?

Of course. Didn't you know your dick gets altitude sick?

Lucas is an idiot, I'm calling Gustavo.

-The one from the other day. -No, man.

He sucks. Lucas is way better.

Got a better idea? He lives three blocks from here.

I guess I'll have one.

-You mixed them? -A couple.

-The peruvian maca with water. -There comes the lazy ass.

There you are, lazy ass.

-Lazy ass. -Alright, I'm sorry.

Where were you?

-Shall we play? -Are you okay?

Yeah. Let's go.

-Let's go. -Alright.

All in, alright?

-Let's go. -Alright.

Are you okay?

-I'm sorry. -It's fine.

At least you used the bag.

I can't play.

I'll call my friend. He's really good.

I can play goalkeeper until he gets here.

I already put the gloves on.

I'm sorry.

God damn it.

Did you take the cleats out?

There. Done. Are you okay?

It's clean.

If you have trouble putting your kids to sleep as I do,

you can seize the moment when they're like this, in zombie mode,

you stalk your husbands.

Look. Dad.

Dad. Do you see dad?

Now look for comments and likes from people, girls.

Like this one, for instance.

"Lisa Beliza."

Joaquito, do you know Lisa Beliza?

It's a bit toxic, isn't it?

Toxic. What isn't toxic?

We're doing an analysis of the data people give away

and leave there for you to analyze, that's it.

Alright, Machi is an average mom.

-Every woman doubts their partner. -Totally.

I use Catchy to know if he lies to me

when he's "at home" and the kilometers don't add up.

I, for instance, if any of the guys uploads a photo during soccer

-and Lucas is on the back, I calm down. -Obviously.

You can also ask the person and trust they tell the truth, right?

That's what you have to do. That's what I should do. Totally, that.

People lie. Digital traces, never.

Well, the video is in. Let's move.

DAMIÁN: CARO, I CAN'T SEE YOU TODAY I FEEL SICK. SORRY

-Vero? -Yeah?

You know, I told you I rather not knowing anything about Romina.

-Actually... -Caro, I understood.

You have no idea. I understood completely.

You want to go in head first.

You don't know what I'd give to have your confidence.

You're elevated, Caro. You're way up there.

Thank you.

8:30 in the morning?

Are we going to play or no?

We are? Alright.

Careful. Watch out.

Very well.

Careful! Careful! Careful!

You're a dork! But you're cute.

-I'll go get tomatoes. -Alright.

-It doesn't count! -No!

-No, it doesn't count! I got distracted. -Such a cheater.

Nice. Damo is inviting me to play soccer.

-Who's Damo? -Damo is a friend of the house.

-Alright, shall we continue another day? -Yeah.

Give me five.

Stay, drink some juice and I'll be right back, alright?

Stay here and tell me anything.

Come here. What do you think you're doing?

-My bag. -No, but you promised Pato.

Technically, it was Lautaro.

It's a huge responsibility to take care of a girl.

You played for five minutes and you're already leaving?

Hey, have you seen that cream of mine that kind of hot and cold?

Take over, Gonzalo.

Really, I can't be alone with the girl.

Tri, the good part of taking care of a girl among three

is that, when one has soccer, how many are left?

-Two, two. -One, two.

Come back quickly.

-The girl. -You're a cheater!

-No, no, no. -You're cheating on the teacher!

No, really, Ema. I'll explain.

Ema! Ema, Ema!

No! Now the teacher will be sad and crying all day!

No, I'm not crying. I'm fine. That won't happen to me.

Yes, it will!

It'll happen to everyone. It'll happen to you, to me, too.

It was like that with my mom! What do you think, that I'm stupid?

-Pivot! -Come one, Lucas!

-Come on! -Yours! Yours!

-Hooray! Damn it! -React!

Messi keeps playing after throwing up!

Are you comparing Damián to Messi? Look at him.

Go on. Go on.

What's the score? Ten?

Here.

Go. There.

-Get the ball, Lucas. -Are you talking to me?

Aim for my foot, man.

-Suck it, ass. -"Suck it"?

What are you saying?

"Suck it"?

-What are you saying? -Come on! Down!

Are you crazy?

Why would you tell me to suck it?

What are you saying? That I can't suck pussy?

-What pussy? What do you mean? -What are you saying?

-Play. -Come on, man. Barrier.

-Come. -Lukey.

-What's your problem today? -Yeah.

Anyone knows what's a clit sucker?

A profession.

It's a guy who sucks clitoris.

No, man, it's like a sex toy.

-Come on. -It's not that hard to suck a pussy.

-Because Vero... -Here it comes.

Here, here.

-What are you doing there? -Get to the goal!

-What are you doing here? -I'm blocking the lower barrier.

Lower barrier? You're the goalkeeper.

-You don't jump. -You're the goalkeeper.

Why don't you jump and I block down here?

How is it?

And Carolina's friend? Is he coming?

What do I know? He said he would.

I don't understand how can you invite the guy who screws your girl.

Come on, man.

Look, he's here.

Gonza.

-Damo! -There's the substitution.

-"Damo"? -Yeah.

"Damo"?

Thanks for coming.

-What's up? You look like crap. -Yeah, I feel a little...

-Pedro. -Peter.

-Rodri. -Hey.

-Tito. -Titan.

-And Lucas. -Luke. Let's go.

Dude, what are you doing? Come on, Lucas!

Alright.

See how he plays? Is like he had three legs.

-Goal! -Goal!

-Goal! -Goal, goal. Alright!

-Goal! Goal! -You're a freak!

That was dope, man!

Bravo, bravo, bravo. Alright.

POLYAMORY FOR MONKEYS

Ema, come out, please and we'll explain.

-What is she doing? -What do I know?

Trini didn't cheat on me.

No, no, I did cheat on you, but that's really bad

and I really regret it and I'll never do it again.

Because God will punish me

-and I don't want that. -What the fuck?

Bye, guys. Going that way?

-Buy some fruit. -Alright, Blue.

-See you. -What a game, guys.

No, no. It was all you.

-You gave them hell. -He took your place, it seems.

No, no, no. It was a bad streak.

Sometimes you have to make substitutions in order to oxygenate the dynamic.

-What you do eat? Pitbull milanesa? -Proteins, Titan.

That's the key. Chicken. Lots of chicken.

Chicken.

What happened? A contracture?

-A cramp? -No, relax.

-Relax. -I'm fine, I'm fine. Really.

You relax. I'm a Personal Trainer.

-Come here. -No, no, no. Relax.

-You're so stiff. -Chicken makes him stiff.

That's it, Titan, share some of that chicken.

No, he's lying, he's an idiot. I don't eat chicken.

-It's your loss. -Dami, are you recovered yet?

For today.

No, I canceled everything.

Damu! Hi!

-Is that what I think it is? -Damu!

-Yeah, what is she doing here? -Hi.

How do you feel, beanie baby?

How are you?

Careful.

-I'm bad. I'm dizzy. -Are you?

-I threw up. -That's it. Come.

I got the message, I was out already and I came to take care of you.

Okay, okay.

Look. Dad.

Dad. Did you see Dad?

It's key you now look for comments and likes from people, girls.

Like this one, for instance.

-What's up? -Damn it, fool!

It's me.

-So scary. -What's up?

I was listening to a political podcast.

-Are you sure you're okay? -Yeah.

I mean, nothing serious.

-Dami is lying to me. -No, why do you say that?

Because I was arranging to meet and when we finally sealed it,

he canceled me with a lame excuse.

If he doesn't want to see me, he should tell me.

Don't overthink it, I come from stepping in for him.

He had a heatstroke during the game and...

-So, he's really bad. -Terribly.

I'll check in case he needs anything.

You better don't. Seemed like he'd have company all night.

This Romina chick went to pick him up.

Romina. What did you think of her?

Maybe you won't like it. Looks like a future girlfriend.

I forgive you, don't worry. I know you didn't do it to hurt me.

-No, I feel so bad. -Well, stop crying.

-Okay, stop crying. -Sorry!

-Where's the girl? -What's going on?

Pato's fault.

You fix this.

REALISTIC MONOGAMIST

DECEIVE

I can't believe this.

"Ethics on unicorn hunting."

Two, three, four, five, six.

Don't fight, honey.

Don't fight, you can't injure your hands

because you're a brilliant piano teacher and you'll be fine.

Forgive me.

They're such liars.

No, I love you both.

-That's it. -I love you both so much.

-You love us both, that's it. -Yeah.

-Yes. -Ema, Trini didn't cheat on me.

The three of us are boyfriends.

What are you doing? She's too young.

-Why do you say that? -So what?

-She doesn't have the age. -She has to know at some point.

Please. She's coming!

She's coming, she's coming!

Ema.

I know what you are. You're a throuple.

I swear I didn't know it.

I can't believe I'm drunk this early.

It's your fault, you picked the wine.

-You liked the wine. -I did.

You did? Lucky me.

You know, my ex never let me pick anything.

It was always what he'd choose.

I don't know, he thought he knew it all.

No, he didn't know anything. He let you go.

He changed me for a younger one.

A girl from the gym.

He swept me off my feet.

Now you can use that sweeping to choose the wines you want.

I feel a bit old for this.

Old?

You're old, but you're hot.

I wouldn't know where to begin.

In my book, you were coming pretty well.

Really?

I'm a mom.

I think this chair is misplaced.

It should be here.

I'm not a lesbian.

That's okay.

Do you want me to go back?

No.

How long since you last did this?

Ever.

Hi.

-What happened? -Nothing. It doesn't matter.

I'm ready to give you pleasure.

Lu. Lu!

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -What are you doing?

I'm giving you pleasure. Do you like it?

-Yeah. A lot. -That's it.

I loved it, but I didn't shower.

-It's okay. -No, and you're all swollen.

-It doesn't hurt. -But I love it.

-You do? -Yeah, we'll continue later.

-Are you sure? -Yeah. Totally.

Too gasy, Beanie?

Relax, I'm fine. I tell you I'm fine.

Why did you throw up, honey? Why did you throw up?

-Because. -Alright. Look here.

Sicky!

There you go.

I'm uploading it.

Hashtag "sicky."

There it is. I uploaded it.

Let me see.

-You don't have a fever. -No, I told you.

Good. Listen, I'll make you something to eat, okay?

Let's see what you have.

Alright. Let's see.

You don't have rice. And apples?

-A chopped apple? -No, I need to rest.

-Just that. -Okay.

You go, leave me here for a while to lay and it'll wear off.

-Alright, you rest, honey. -Yeah.

I'll go buy something.

Because it can't be you don't have nothing healthy,

-so I'll fill your fridge. -Alright.

I'm going shopping. Do you want anything in particular?

-No, no, no. -Something tasty?

-No, no, no. -I'll bring healthy and tasty things.

-Alright. -I'll be right back.

-Dami, what's up, buddy? -Lukey.

Did Romina always call me "Beanie"?

I don't know, I'm getting in this...

No, and I'm scared

because I feel we're going back to the same dynamic

we had before, when we were a couple.

-Dynamic? -Yeah, she won't let me breathe.

I need oxygen.

Yeah, man, sometimes we all need a bit of oxygen.

-That's most normal. -Dude, you sound like crap. Are you OK?

No, I'm lucid as ever.

It's just that you have to oxygenate the dynamic a little bit

when you're in a bad streak. It's just that.

Sure.

To cut my streak, I shouldn't call Romina over.

Yeah, buddy, we'll talk later. I send you a hug.

-Honey. -Yes?

I know you gave me some signals and I didn't know how to interpret them.

-About what? -No, it can't be

that we got married three months ago

and we already are in a bad streak.

You think so?

I'm not just letting go. I'm not giving up, honey.

I know you want more and I'm going to give it to you.

It's just moving players around, oxygenate the dynamic a bit,

move the pieces so the team play better than ever.

Honey, let's open the couple.

Alright.

What you have to do now is to go to this girl's pic

and see if he comments back.

If there's a tag, anything. Do you understand?

Why are they called "unicorns"?

Because it's hard to find.

Well, that's it. I think we learned a lot.

-We understood everything, right? -Kind of.

Think that two people have to like the same person

and that person has to want to be with those two at the same time.

-That's it. -But why it would be bad

to look for the unicorn?

No, it's not bad.

The thing is that everyone in the relationship are honest

about what they want from the relationship

-so nobody gets hurt. -Of course.

-That's it. -Hi!

-Hi. -How was it?

-It was nice. -Was it?

-Real good. -Alright.

Mommy, the girl at the gym could be your unicorn.

What? What unicorn?

No, we were telling animal tales.

-Yeah, there was a unicorn. -The unicorn.

-Alright. Shall we, honey? -Yes.

-Thank you so much. -Your things over there.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-Well, thank you so much. -Alright.

Keep practicing.

Romina, us, like this,

can't be, because Carolina and I... No.

Romina, we need to talk.

There you were. I didn't see you.

-Hi. -No!

CAROBECKER LIKES THIS

What?

If I remove it, the notification goes away, right?

-Who are you talking about? -No, but it's better

-if she thinks it was on purpose. -What are you talking about, Caro?

-I sent Romina a like. -Okay.

I'm jealous.

Romi. -Yeah. What's up?

-Fine. -Hey.

What's with Caro Becker?

-What? -She's your friend, right?

She came the other day, the one with the antennae.

Yeah, well, she's not a friend, friend.

-Isn't she? -No, she's Vero's friend.

-Aha. Okay. -Yeah.

-Why? What are you doing? -No.

I want to know why she liked an ancient and random picture of mine.

Beanie,

Carolina has a girlfriend?

Yeah, yeah. Something like that.

-Aha. -Yeah.

She has an open relationship. Let's say.

-"Open". -Yeah, yeah. She's with several people.

It was obvious.

-It was obvious. -Yeah, it was obvious.

I didn't know how to tell you, but, really, yes.

-I didn't know how to tell you, but yes. -Yes. But yes!

Carolina wants to nail me!

-What? -Beanie, Carolina.

About to...

NEXT ON "6 IS NOT A CROWD"

I know he's with Romina.

If he's with her, it's because she told him he's with me too.

Congratulations, Damián Cuenca. She got jealous.

-Dami, did you tell Romina about us? -Eh...

She don't stop staring, man.

I'm telling you, if I let her, she'd grab my ass.

Easy on that, it'll hit you hard.

Chocolate calms me down.

Sure, but they are the crazy ones, did you know?

Romina was right.

Caro wants to do her.

NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS SERIES