Original subtitles

SIX IS NOT A CROWD

No, just take them for a walk to the park everyday,

just like any other dog. That's enough.

I don't know where that belief comes from, but it's a myth.

And I'm not an expert about greyhounds.

For example, that saying about greyhounds...

You're talking about the Coton de Tuléar puppy,

it's like a Maltese, it has a longer body and it's agile.

It's very affectionate with kids, do you like kids?

And as the years go by, they wrinkle more,

because their skin grows, but their body doesn't.

So they have more and more skin, like a grandfather.

You have to take care of them, take them to the bathroom,

they poop on themselves, like a grandfather. It's a dog...

In the nineties they said that Dobermans had very small skulls,

and if they barked too much, their brains would swell.

So, their brains were squeezed, and that's why they became violent.

-Really? -Yes, interesting, isn't it?

And there are the sausage dogs, which are not called sausage dogs,

the actual breed is called an Dachshund.

People call them sausage dogs because of their body shape.

And talking about sausages...

what is your zodiac sign?

-Pisces. -Yes! I love Pisces!

I love you. I love you.

That's it, bad boy! Bad, bad boy!

Make a sound like a donkey.

-What? -The sound of a donkey!

Now the dolphin. Make the dolphin. Yes!

Yeah, just like that, my Argentine bull!

Gimme me more! Much more!

Damián, are you okay?

Yes, yes, everything's fine!

AGED, BUT STILL EDIBLE

-Juan? -What?

Look.

No, thank you.

Asshole.

Hi.

Did you hear that?

No, I don't understand...

The capsules disappear and nobody drinks coffee!

Who drinks the coffee, a ghost?

Hey, are you seeing that?

Aunt Nilda?

-I see her. -Maybe.

We can't clean that up until we know what does it mean.

Don't be so annoying, please.

Gonza and I moved the portrait,

and the dolls fell because of the air

or something like that, there are thousand reasons.

-And point two. -What?

I don't know, Mexico, the dead.

Yes, sure.

Because all Mexicans pray to the dead.

If you want, now I'll go for the hat that I have under my bed,

which I sleep with, for example.

And then I can sing "Cielito lindo", because I...

The pipes are old.

With the heat, the house expands. Careful.

It settles down, and everything makes noises.

Give me mate, please.

And how do you explain the joint that was left in my room?

And the coffee capsules?

Ghosts don't smoke joints, it doesn't work for them,

they don't drink coffee either.

So you're admitting that they exist.

The cellphone.

Hi, Caro. Can we meet today?

Hi, Dami. Yes, sure.

What is it? Do you have time today and you don't want to sleep alone?

Look at her.

No, he's just meeting people.

He fantasizes about being polyamorous, but he doesn't know what he wants.

So I made him try Catchy, so he goes out,

and try and meet people.

Catchy?

What?

What's wrong? Tell me.

Nothing, it's just too much.

But Lautaro always says that you learn by doing.

I do.

Like when you play the piano, but...

pushing someone into polyamory is very weird.

And if your tool is Catchy, that's too much.

Hi, Dami.

How are you? Excellent, right?

Caro, good thing you answered.

-I think I'm dying... -Yes, well, dying to see each other.

Yes, me too. Me too.

Do I sing for you?

I'm your polyamorous bee,

and I can help you with your honeycomb of doubts.

You wanted me to pollinate you, right?

So you infected me?

-What? -We have a venereal disease.

Calm down, breathe. Tell me.

I felt a discomfort, I checked myself down there,

and I found a little patch.

So I went to forums to investigate, I better won't tell you what I found,

because you are going to get nervous, I got nervous.

I can imagine, I can imagine, but stop, don't worry, but take action.

Let's see the patch.

-You understand this is serious? -Yes, yes, I do.

because now we are here wearing costumes,

-but this is really important. -Yes, it is.

-Show me. Come on. -No.

-Damián, show me. -No, I won't, are you crazy?

Have you always take precautions when having sex?

-Does it bother you to talk about this? -Bother me? Why? No.

No. Stop, stop.

Stop. Yes, I always took precautions.

It just happen to be in a mixed zone,

not covered by the condom.

-Is it in your anus? -No!

No, no, it's in a scrotal area.

-Let's see, show me. -No, no. Caro, stop. Stop. No, Caro...

You must talk to all the girls you've been with.

There are many of them, and with Catchy,

-I have a double problem. -We can hire a call center.

-Doesn't it bother you to talk about it? -It doesn't bother me.

Worst case, I'm gonna get one too. Show me your balls, Damián.

-I can't with this. -Come on. Show me your balls.

-It has the shape of Italy, right? -Yes.

-You had this before, Damián. -No, no, no.

Talk to your doctor anyway.

So you can stay calm, how long has it been since you got tested?

I don't know, a long time ago.

I think the last time was when we stopped using condoms with my ex.

With Romina?

-Yes, how do you remember her name? -Because she's your ex, right?

-Can I help you? -Please.

Talk to your doctor anyway, and get tested so that you stay calm.

How often do you do it?

Every six months.

Trini schedule it for us.

You know what? I'll let the group know,

so they can stay calm until you get your results.

Do you feel this?

-What? -This?

How much longer? I've been here for an hour, I need to pee.

Don't worry, the doctor will see you in a moment.

Do I bring you some popcorn, idiot? What are you looking at for so long?

Well, stop. Stay still. If you are in a hurry,

you should have gone to the ER.

Hold on.

Damn it.

Well, look...

it wouldn't be responsible of me to confirm it, but...

I'm 99 percent sure that's an angiokeratoma of Fordyce.

-What? -Confirm it with the dermatologist.

What is that? Is it contagious?

Did someone infected me? Did I infected someone?

It's just your nuts, they're getting aged,

-but they are still edible. -My balls are aged?

No, it's not that you're old, but it can happen with age.

It's just a cosmetic thing, don't worry.

Anyway, I'm going to send you to get tested for STDs.

Hey, do you get tested often? Do you get clinical analyses?

Yes, sure, dude.

Syphilis is like mayonnaise.

There are worse things, but I don't want it on my sausage.

What a bad joke.

What the hell with this, bro, damn it.

Dami, calm down, I'm telling you, it's just a cosmetic thing.

No, it's not just that, Caro didn't give a shit when I told her.

She saw it, and she doesn't give a damn, she's indifferent to everything.

But the chick is a ten, she supports you with everything.

No, bro, you don't understand.

She doesn't give a damn if I'm with other chicks.

If another chick infected me and I infected her.

-She doesn't give a damn. -This is for the laboratory.

-And this one is for you. -I don't understand, what does it say?

Play hard-to-get, make her feel jealous.

Follow my advice.

Do you know the brand new Zumber?

This one is going to make you burn.

Follow me, @tresamigues,

and you are already participating in the raffle!

Cut!

Remember to mention to follow the Zumber account.

-Yes. -Yes.

And I don't know if "burn" is the best choice.

-No, no. -No.

No more. No. Okay.

-Hey, maybe we can change it for... -Yes.

For another word, right?

Can you tell me whose bright idea was to bring these bees?

It's itching.

I scheduled for tomorrow at Paz y Cebada,

let's see if we can get an exchange for Meche and her husband.

-Okay? -Yes.

What's wrong with pollen?

Why are we cutting costs on pollen?

What's happening, Carolina?

She'll take care of the pollen. Can you take care of it?

Can you bring some?

Listen to me here. Scratch here.

Can you help her with that?

ANY NEWS?

Well, it's most likely nothing,

I got tested anyway,

and my doctor asked for quick results.

So, we'll have news very soon.

I'll let you know. Kisses.

DID YOU LEFT IT HERE?

DID YOU LEAVE IT HERE?

SO CUTE, BUT IT'S NOT MINE

SEE YOU TOMORROW? I HAVE FUN PLANS

YEAH, SURE

I DON'T THINK I CAN, I HAVE A HOT NIGHT

GREAT, I'M TALKING ABOUT DAYTIME DO YOU FEEL LIKE IT?

YEAH, I HOPE I GET THE RESULTS SOON

SO I CAN TAKE A DOUBLE SEX SHIFT

FUCKING...

GREAT, SEE YOU AT NOON

AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NIGHT OFF FOR YOUR DATE

YEAH, MY DATE, THE ONE I'M GONNA...

I THINK I GOT IT

Thank you, guys.

Do you all have your sucker?

-Yes. -Of course, I have the Pro version.

Me too! I love it! Yes, I love it.

Not me, I'm more old-fashioned.

No, no. I like better the dildo,

the vibrator,

What do you call this thing? I can't remember,

the one which looks like a tear drop.

For anal pleasure, girls!

-Butt plug. -That one!

I like it better.

That's because you haven't tried the Zumber, darling.

And the best of it, you don't get used to it.

-That's important. -Well.

Do you have one?

Yes, I have the Zumber.

Yeah, I have a pink one, it's wonderful.

I got it and I'm using it a lot. Yeah.

I thought that one hadn't been released yet.

That's because I got a presale,

there was a special offer with the credit card, I wised up,

and now I have it.

-How lucky. -Yeah.

-That's great. -Yeah, yeah.

I had to pursue it everywhere to get it.

But at the end I got it!

One for each of you, except for you

-because you already have one. -Of course.

Thank you.

I mean, it has to be in the kitchen.

She manifested herself here.

Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm late, I'm sorry, I'm here.

This works better after twilight.

Okay, great.

It seems that Dami had a scare.

Let's wait for the results anyway.

-How is it going? Tell us. -So-so.

Anyway, I think he's focusing too much on foursome sex.

-And how many tests? -Four.

-Shall we start? -Yeah.

-Do you have your elements? -Everything ready.

Take each other's hands and close the circle.

Now, take each other's hands.

Fine. Trinidad.

Tell me something about Nilda.

Nilda, her name was Nilda,

she was my grandmother,

who used to live in this house.

She had a very sad life, she was a solitary person.

Nilda likes that we live here.

-Nice, Nilda. -Yeah, cool.

We can't control how others react to our life.

But we can share with them what's going on with us.

Let them choose to get on our flight.

What does it mean?

That's what Nilda says.

She says to follow in her footsteps.

Who?

I don't know, whoever wants to.

-Well, that's... -She's among us.

-Damn it! -What just happened?

I'm feeling her, I feel like she was at my back,

like if she was tickling me.

It's a rat! A rat! I saw it, I saw it.

She was reincarnated!

-I told you! -Is it a joke?

I told you!

It's the best, Beni and I are excited

about space race documentaries, the outer space, it's so good.

Just admit that it's for you too, the party you didn't have as a kid.

Hey, Dami. Did you get the email from the lab?

-What does it say? -Congratulations, you're free from STDs.

-Good. You thought you were infected? -Yeah, but it was a false alarm.

That house, with Caro and that group, are you worry because of that?

No, no, I mean, yes.

I was worried, but I talked to Caro and the truth is they're really careful.

They get tested all the time.

I mean, maybe. You're hallucinating illnesses.

You're sabotaging your penis.

Let him free, let him do what he wants.

He doesn't want anything. And me neither.

I want to be with Caro, I don't want to be with thousand chicks.

-What I prescribed didn't work? -No, not at all.

-Didn't she get jealous? -Not at all, she's immune.

And I told her that I was sleeping with other chicks.

She didn't bat an eyelid.

Did you try saying something different?

Something different like what?

What's happening to you, what you feel.

-For other chicks? -No...

Well, it could be,

maybe if I tell her that I sleep with other girls, she doesn't care,

but if I tell her I'm feeling something, that I'm falling for someone,

-it could work, I'm gonna try it. -Well, well.

-Let's do that. -Let's do that, yeah.

Yeah.

-The chick is weird. -Why?

Because now she invited me to meet each other at noon tomorrow.

What the hell is that? Who invited you to meet at noon?

It depends, are you gonna get laid or what?

I don't know. I didn't ask her if we were gonna get laid.

Yeah, but that's the important thing.

I mean, a date at noon, if you don't get laid,

-that counts as love. -Well, fine.

-Well, that's great. -What's that?

Yeah, let's see, and if we do it, then what?

Like...

Because one eye is missing, one-eyed.

-What the hell are you saying? -Idiot, pirate, I say like a pirate.

Fucking at noon during working hours is for pirates.

It's for pirates, that's true.

But if she has nothing to hide, why would she do that?

No matter what she does, now you're in the place of the sex toy.

I bet you she'll take you to a hot-sheet hotel.

You're being so mean, I don't wanna go to a hot-sheet hotel.

-No? -Don't tell me that.

-Okay. -Pass me Saturn, please.

-Which one? -Saturn.

-Which one is that? -The one with rings, idiot.

All your life watching vaginas, and you don't know the planet with rings.

How can we make the...?

Is it a place where you can eat?

Yes, you can, but it's not its main activity.

Okay, and...

Is it per hour or how does it work?

There're experiences per hour and also closed packages.

Experiences... you can go alone?

If you want to, you can, but it's better to come with someone.

It's the perfect place to celebrate your results.

-I talked to Ariela, is that correct? -Yes, yes.

We think that Meche and her boyfriend are perfect.

I love that couple!

Is it your first time at a beer spa?

-No, of course not. -Yes, it is.

Well, this way.

Enjoy!

I didn't bring my swimsuit.

Me neither.

-Well, cheers. -Cheers.

Hey, I wanted to apologize...

Why?

Because I got too involved in your life.

I pushed you to see other women, and I love it, but...

No, but it's way more than that.

-Really? -Yeah, I'm creating deep connections.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, go on.

Well, I'm like...

I am collecting the best of each experience I'm having.

And I think that's very interesting.

For example, Sofi is fun to be with,

so I keep laughing with her.

I laugh a lot, you know?

And Maca, she's more affectionate,

so I can enjoy romance,

snuggling, watching a movie,

cuddling.

Well, I'm...

-Uneasy? -No, quite the opposite, I'm happy.

I mean, it's not my place to comment, but I'm really happy for you.

Really. I love to see you happy.

Do you want to have sex after this? Before getting back to work?

I'm sorry, the beer.

This is almost a hot-sheet hotel, but it's not.

I swear, I've never found the climax like that.

I had to change my sheets.

What about you? Using your Zumber?

Yeah, yeah.

-Using the App? -Wi-fi!

Tirelessly.

Good afternoon!

-Hello! -How was the spa?

-Fine. -You look gorgeous.

It was really nice.

-Hey, I was with Dami just now. -Really? And...?

And maybe he's not like...

We can all reinvent ourselves.

You can't look. Go there.

-Did you bring sodas? -How was the jacuzzi.

Beer is kind of sticky, you know?

I have only two hands, Natalia.

-Can I help you? -No. And then?

Nothing, then nothing.

It's confirmed, the chick doesn't want a serious relationship with me.

That's for sure.

But did you really think you could have something serious with her?

-Why not? -I don't know,

I can't imagine introducing her to your family, dude.

Because she didn't let me try, dude.

Anyway, it doesn't seem to me the most serious thing in the world

to have her to have sex with.

I mean, she can give you oral sex from time to time.

-Again with that, dude. -Well, yes, maybe,

I don't know, Carolina wants you to be with other girls,

so you realize that having a serious relationship

is not the same than an exclusive relationship.

Here, here. Adults are talking.

Thank you, Rodri, I don't know what to say, but...

-Honey, bring more soda, please. -I'm coming!

Look, what does it say?

No, I don't know.

-You know what it means? -No.

-Just have sex. -No, stop it, no.

I don't know in what language to tell you.

I don't want more sex, I have my balls aged because of that.

-Dad, I wanna fly. -What?

-Come here. -Stop bugging, dude.

Into the cosmos, comrade!

Go to play, give Laika to dad.

That's what I mean, you need to explore, as Laika.

Did you know that 50 years ago the space race,

the conquest of space and all that was unthinkable?

And suddenly, Laika comes,

and show us everything is possible.

Be like Laika, explore and enjoy your life.

-Be Laika, dude. -That's it, be Laika.

Be Laika.

Be what? Why do you compare me with this dog?

She has nothing to do with this, she didn't wanted to explore anything.

She wanted to be at home, at Moscow, burying a bone.

But no, they took her to explore and ended up killing her.

What you mean they killed her?

Murderer!

Calm down, calm down, son, no...

Laika...

she died of old age, in her back yard, and gave her treats,

and they loved her so much.

Tell me how you eat and I tell you how you have sex.

Damián told me he had sex with other girls.

-That's good, right? -Yeah, if that's what you both want.

Anyway, I don't think that just because you have a bond,

or several bonds, and you talk about it, then you are polyamorous.

But for Damián, this is huge personal grow.

I bought goat cheese and I can't find it.

-What? -I bought goat cheese

and I don't know where it is.

-I'm sorry, so? -So what?

So what happened?

Do you have an agreement? What did you talk about?

No, none, but I saw him resolved.

Like he wasn't looking for my approval.

I saw it in the register, I'm sure...

-The goat cheese... -Still worried about that cheese?

Because it's French, because is a French cheese...

Well, let me, I swear...

I can give you some French love.

You can't set traps, that's violent. What if you hurt Nilda?

-Admit I was right. -You can't.

Wait. What's that?

-I was gonna help setting up the snacks. -Is that my goat cheese?

Is it my goat cheese that you used for a damn rat?

-I was gonna help setting up the snacks. -Do you swear?

-I can't understand it, really. -Tell me, what's wrong?

What does she think? That we are Boy Scouts?

Who is gonna pay me for my goat cheese that it took me months to find?

You scare me.

Wait, wait, what are you gonna do with that?

If you're planning to kill her, I swear, I'll let you do it.

No, my love, calm down. If I see her, I'll do this and it's done.

Let's see, hush.

There she is.

She's there, she's there.

Here she is, wait.

What's in there?

What is this?

What's wrong?

Great.

All of this belonged to your great-aunt?

It seems so, right?

Come. See this.

Look at this,

That's beautiful.

MANY HAPPY RETURNS, BENI

-What's going on? -Who am I?

I don't know, but don't let my wife see this,

because you'll spoil everything.

-How are you? -Fine.

What an intense setting, isn't it?

Little rockets, but they are cute.

You arrived!

Honey, everything's so beautiful, I can't believe it, you're geniuses.

-Father's work. -Well, very good.

We made those little rockets, nobody gives us credit.

Poor thing.

-Let's screw? -What did you say?

Yeah, let's sing, we'll sing.

Let's sing the birthday song, but with the cake...

Now, in the bathroom, you and me.

It's better at home, more relaxed, there are many people here.

Is it okay? You want some?

No.

-Pedro. -Beni, where are you?

-What are you doing? -I took it first. Just take any of them.

No, I need palm hearts. You get those in slices.

-Come, let's blow out the candles. -Let's take a picture.

Come on, guys, let's take a picture.

That's it!

I told you. What's wrong?

It's because of Laika. I told you nothing happened to the dog.

Let's blow out the candles? Blow out the candles.

-Yes? Blow them out. -Come on, come on.

Hello.

Hello, handsome.

What kind of suit is that?

Are you gonna take me out of gravity?

It's occupied, damn it!

Ma'am, how much longer? I'm peeing myself.

Go there, they're blowing out the candles.

Happy birthday, Dear Beni

Happy birthday to you

Yeah, yeah, give it to me.

How much longer, ma'am? I need to pee.

I see two people kissing.

-Where? -In Paris...

Well, well, well.

-Look what I made for you. -Delicious.

-Save me some. -Thank you.

Does it smell like cigarette or pussy?

Look.

What do you think? Did my family know and hide this here?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Or was she the one who hid her world?

Right?

-Wine? -Yes.

Wine, wine, wine.

I wanna try on all her coats.

To Nilda.

Do you think Nilda was happy?

I found it!

Do you like it?

-I love it. -Really?

Yeah, yeah, stay there.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I love it.

Don't stop, please.

Yeah. I'm gonna come, I'm coming.

I'm coming, I'm coming!

-I came. -I can tell.

-What? -I love how specific you are in bed.

-Yeah? -Yeah. I like you to tell me

exactly what you like.

In fact, I was very turned on that you came in my mouth.

Really?

So you wanna see how much?

-Hi. -Hi.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna be specific with what I want out of the bed as well.

With Dami?

Yeah.

Keep sleeping, it's early, okay?

Good luck!

Hellhound!

Talking about the agreements of our bond...

I mean, what would make you feel safe?

Tell me what do you need to be okay? What is... hello, how's it going?

What do you need to be okay?

What do you expect me to do... No.

Because what I want...

What I need, what I need...

-Yes? -Delivery.

Okay, I'll open.

-Hi! -Caro!

How are you? I'm sorry I just came like this.

I send a message for you, but since you didn't answer,

it gave me anxiety, but if you're busy...

No, no, it's fine, what's wrong? Something happened?

No, nothing happened.

I just wanted to talk with you something I consider important.

Tell me, what is it?

I wanted to ask...

-Is that underwear? -No, no.

-You're on a date! -No, no.

But what is it? Are you okay?

You should've kicked me out, I'll be back when you have time.

Let me know when you're alone and we can talk.

No, please, tell me.

We did it so hard, I can barely move, honey.

I can't find my underwear.

Where is it...? Hello.

She's Caro, a friend of mine.

Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Romina, how is it going?

Romi.

Romina?

-You have wet hair. -Yeah. Honey, you're all wet.

-Nice to meet you. -Likewise. I'm sorry.

NEXT ON "SIX IS NOT A CROWD"

No, hey, promise me you didn't get back with Romina.

-Damu! -Yeah, what is she doing here?

How do you feel, beanie baby?

-What happened? -Carolina wants to meet tomorrow, too.

No, no, no. Stop, Damián.

There are two chicks who want to sleep with you.

-Which one are you seeing today? -Both.

Are you going out with Carolina and Romina the same day?

I don't know, I'm sorry, girl, but you should star considering that

if he got with his ex that means monogamy.

No! Also, she was the one who broke his heart.

You think because she's the ex, she's the only one? No.

He didn't even tell me he was going to see her.

Hey.

-What's with Caro Becker? -What?

I'm jealous.

NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS SERIES