Original subtitles

SIX IS NOT A CROWD

Eat both.

Yeah, honey!

I'll wait upstairs.

There. There.

POLYAMOROUS BUT NOT DUMB

I'm pretty freelance.

I do things when I want to, when I feel like it, you know?

Joaquín comes and I'm boiling the mashed pumpkin,

I'm editing the video.

While I'm delousing Bobby, I'm making a carrousel.

With all this, where do you come to play as an agency?

No, sure, the idea is to not change any of that.

Quite the opposite, we want to be a group that supports you.

So you can go farther. Yeah.

A friend of mine made me taste your fennel salad.

I tripped, I thought it couldn't be topped.

This restaurant doesn't make it,

but I made the chef taste it and she wanted to give it a shot.

-So, tell me what you think. -Alright.

-Hi. Nice to meet you. -Hey. Nice to meet you.

I tasted your salad and it inspired me to prepare this dish

that has crunch, has a reduction of cilantro and a beat foam.

-I hope you enjoy it. -Thank you very much.

Holy crap! This is so good!

That's what we want to do with your account.

Cheers, Caro.

Cheers.

Bye!

DRINKS AT PATO'S BAR

-Who's that? -Dami?

Pedro?

You scared me, bro, I thought you weren't home.

You scared me, bro. Where else would I be?

-What's this? -My wife told me to make room at home.

Don't say anything. Look.

What? Are you leaving that here?

Yeah, I'll leave it over here.

-Why don't you sell it? -What do I know?

Natalia says no, just in case.

If it was for me, I'd make a barbecue.

And this?

Hey, help me disassemble it.

I won't get laid with this here.

I don't have time, I took an hour from lunch break.

Bro, Pedro, listen,

I've been meaning to tell you this for a while now.

Why don't we make a lease contract?

A fair price, that's good for you, good for me.

-No way, why? No, man. -No, to, I don't know.

To have an agreement.

I'd feel more comfortable. Yeah, I'd like that. Yeah.

-Because of the crib? -No, no, in general,

I don't know. I'd feel more comfortable

with something contractual.

Even if it's spoken, it doesn't matter.

-Are you kidding me? -No.

-You offend me. -Well...

I'm not making money out of you.

Listen.

What did I tell you when this thing with Romina happened?

-That I was a cuckold. -No, well...

That you'll always have a friend here.

I won't let go of your hand, bro.

-We're brothers. -Alright.

-I'm surprised. -Okay.

Well.

WE SEALED IT! WE'RE CELEBRATING WITH THE GUYS, ARE YOU COMING?

I'M SENDING YOU THE LOCATION

I got a package sent here. It's coming today, some time.

-What? -Yeah.

These cleats. You have no idea. They play by themselves.

-You got them sent here? -Yeah, because I said at home,

"Don't fool around with the credit cards."

So I have to set an example. What do you want?

Or I'll get my balls busted. Alright?

But, what time is it coming?

Damn, do you have to go out? You can't be here?

-Yeah, I have something later. -What do you have?

-I have things. -What things?

-Things! -And you can't tell me?

Yeah, I'll tell you. I set a date with Caro.

I knew it. Henpecked.

-What's wrong about it? -It's always the same.

-How could I know? -Say no more. Alright.

Alright. I'm sorry. Anyway, alright.

I'll reschedule it and let you know.

You owe me one. Alright. Kisses.

Damn it.

Congratulate me too. Who introduced you to her?

No, but my beat foam got her.

-Hey. -It's Damián.

Congrats.

Damo's here! Alright, Damo!

It's just too much pressure. It's asphyxiating.

It's crazy, because it's going down, down, down,

and it's going down every time more and you feel more and more well-being

and, all of a sudden, you feel like taking the mask off

and it's... No hurry.

That's what you get for ordering alfalfa.

-Eat right! -Damn.

-May I steal her? -Nothing to do.

Nothing to do.

-Bye! Thanks! -A little more.

A bit more. Come on. A little more.

Why not?

Alright.

-I'm starving. -Thank you.

-Do you want me to make something yummy? -Yeah.

What is it?

Are you okay? Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Get up! Rent mode: Activate!

Shit. Trini's parents. Trini's parents.

I don't get it. Why can't they say a day before they're coming?

Honey, is it necessary to have it this hot?

I'll invite you in and you can have it your way.

You're getting me wet.

-Good morning. -Good morning.

Gee.

One, two, three, testing.

Don't bother me. What time are they coming?

Carolina, where's my foundation?

Here.

Here.

-Listen. -What?

Be honest. Don't lie.

Is it too noticeable?

No.

It is. It is!

Hurry, I think they're nearby.

You know I told you the house is Trini's great aunt's.

It's an eternal association.

So, Trini's dad and his hundred siblings agreed to lease it to her.

But, in exchange, they have to...

Holy fuck.

No swearing. You're catholic but not practicing.

Unless you can defend yourself.

You don't smoke. Cigars on weekends.

-Hi! -Hi.

Hi, mom.

Child, why so much make-up before noon?

-Hi, Trini. -Hi, dad.

-How are you? -Fine.

-Hey, Marga, how are you? -Hi.

-Fine. -Fine? Nice.

-Hi. -Hi.

-How are you? -Nice to see you.

-Hi. -Hey, Margarita.

Your hair is weird, honey. It looks dry.

Are you rinsing it?

You have to hydrate it, even if you wear it short.

-Yes, mom. -Right, Lauti?

Yeah, I give her cream baths.

Gonzalo helps me sometimes, too.

Do you want a drink? I don't know if there's coffee pods,

but there's tea, mate, fernet.

We already had breakfast. Thank you.

-Did you talk to your sister? -No. Why?

Grab on to your horses. You'll have to buy a dress.

Angie and Juanse are getting married.

Rugby, yes. Polo, not so much.

Wasn't honesty the most important?

Do you know how much we save on rent?

We're polyamorous but not dumb.

And you're my boyfriend, alright?

-Really? -And Pato is my cousin.

A Mexican cousin?

Yeah, you've never seen cousins from different countries?

Anything can happen.

Alright.

If yesterday happened,

anything can happen.

Alright, everyone's covered with this.

Yeah, thank you, Patito, I'll go to the ATM. Thank you.

The benefits of betting on black.

But Angie's too young, right?

Well, not that young. At 24 I had been married for two years.

It was another time.

Another times, precisely, that's why it's casual.

They're getting married in three months.

Mazel tov! Mazel tov!

Congratulations!

-On the grandchild, right? -Congrats!

-Alright. Thank you. -It's not like that.

Thank you, but it's not like that.

First comes the wedding, then the honey moon and then the baby.

Muscle tone.

Are the pipes loose?

No, no, no, that's the water heater. For sure.

Dad, we don't know yet what that is.

It's Nilda's ghost.

Knock it off, you don't fool around with that.

No, I'm not fooling around. The great aunt has unfinished business.

-Getting a husband, maybe. -Mom, mom, mom.

Good morning.

-Good morning, Caro. -Hi, Marga.

-Good morning. -Pato.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Hi, how are you? -Fine.

-I don't know you. -This is Damián, my boyfriend.

-I didn't know you were seeing somebody. -No, mom.

She said they're boyfriends, they're not dating.

Or he wouldn't be here, we don't just bring anyone home.

-And how did you meet? -Margarita, leave them be, please.

Was it one of these apps they use now? "Catchy"?

-No, no, no. I don't use those. -No?

-No, then. -I'm old-school.

We met at a wedding.

-Yeah. -I can't get enough of this story.

You always so sensitive, honey.

How was it? Tell me. I love love stories!

We met at the wedding of a friend we have in common.

-And? -That. Yeah.

Well, I was feeling bad and Caro came to aid me.

You had too much to drink.

No, I don't drink alcohol.

-Yeah. -Yeah, he play sports. A lot.

Yeah. And I was feeling bad because I was nervous.

I was marrying the bride and groom.

My best friend and Vero, his wife now.

So, Caro came, calmed me down and we couldn't separate ever since.

-So cute. -He's so sweet.

-Yeah. -Are you thinking in moving here too?

-No, no, no. -No, no, no.

We have other plans with Caro.

We're thinking in buying a property in Escobar.

Actually, we're saving for a mortgage and build in the future, right?

Nothing too big, a place we can be comfortable,

have friends and relatives over.

We also have to have a pool and a grill, right? Why not?

You're perfect. Where did you come from?

I'm from Villa Devoto.

And also a green area, why not?

For the Labrador, he's always so energetic.

And, well, who knows if in the future, eventually...

-Before I forget it. -Thank you, darling.

You have a match, honey. Do you want to leave now?

-What match? -The rugby match you have.

-Yeah, sure. -It's time, isn't it?

-Go, go! -Down there!

-Put it there! -Yeah, baby!

-Alright. -Block one, man!

Alright, Dami.

-Dami, Dami! -Yours!

Guys, please!

Yours, yours.

There, there! Get in there!

You just dropped it.

-Who are you talking to? -Stop, stop.

Hey, son of a bitch.

Look, he's cussing.

Anyone wants a glove for a souvenir?

I'll take the ball because I scored so many.

-Don't act a fool, tell us a bit more. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Tell us. -Come on, man, speak.

-Alright. -He plays dumb.

-No, I'm not playing dumb. -Go on.

-I don't know where to start. -With the foreplay.

I'll start with the foreplay.

There was a lot, a lot of foreplay.

How much?

-Fifteen minutes? -More.

-Twenty? -Tell me there was a DBJ.

-What was a DBJ? -A double blowjob.

-When two girls suck... -Alright, alright.

-Shut up. Let him talk. -Let him talk.

Yeah. Also, you won't have one of those in your life.

-Let him talk. Go on. -Alright. Well...

It wasn't like the typical porn movie,

as you'd imagine a situation like that, you know?

It was more than that. It was like, energetic.

I was there, but I was not there.

Because I saw them touching each other, they were touching me.

I didn't even know I had that many sensitive parts in my body.

What part, for instance?

Inside the ear.

The elbow.

Next to the belly button, like two inches to the left.

-Everywhere. -No, not everywhere.

Not to the right of the belly button, for instance.

-No? -No.

What a weird spot.

-The armpits. -The armpits?

-Yeah. -What a party of flavors, man.

I'm kind of grossed out.

At the same time, I didn't think

I could feel that much pleasure seeing another person enjoying.

It was an incredible night.

Incredible. Really.

Did you fuck or not?

-Technically... -He didn't.

No, but it was better. I swear, it was, like...

-How can you know if you didn't fuck? -Yeah, because...

Maybe fucking it's not just putting it in.

Of course, man. It's not just fucking like rabbits.

A foreplay like this one, is worth more than fucking.

-Of course. Also, it's the first time. -Alright, alright, alright.

-You'll seal the deal soon. -You're still my hero.

Yeah, I'm just saying.

I don't feel bad, why are you comforting me like somebody died?

It's the other way, in a foreplay with two girls, I'd be the same.

-But I didn't... -It's going to happen anyway.

And stop smoking in here, fool, it's falling on the floor.

But the situation now is that you have two girlfriends.

Don't say the word "girlfriend."

Don't even say it!

Let him do what he wants. Let him be cool.

You have two, you have 100. You have thousands of girlfriends. Bye.

Let's hit the shower and then to your place?

-To play games? -Alright.

Alright, I'll catch up with you.

-Are you happy with Caro? -These are the ones nagging.

-Are you having fun? -Yeah.

Done, that's it, man. Enjoy, have a good time, be yourself.

Give me water.

You just have to apply it slowly and from up close.

Okay.

Are you sure you want to help me?

Yeah. I don't have anything better to do.

Also, I enjoy the view.

Is this good for anything?

I don't know, really.

Lauti told me it helped his parents a lot his,

so I'm trying it now.

Didn't you tell me this was organic?

Yes, it is. It's full of chilies and garlic.

You tasted it?

Hi, Caro.

How are you? Are you up for anything?

Hi, Dami, I'd like to. Let me check...

Hi, Dami, what a bummer.

You know... right now I'm covered in work to do.

Let's talk next week, alright?

-Kisses. -Too much work?

Too much work?

It sounded like you were lying to him.

No, no, no. I have to go to the office. I just remembered.

On Saturday.

A bummer.

-I'll come with you. -No, it's far. No.

-No, I'll come with you. -There's no need.

No, I swear. I have nothing better to do.

And I'll enjoy the view.

We're getting better, because we're playing together for a while now.

-So good. -Guys, look at this.

Thank you.

Hey, Dami, I love your situation.

I don't know, I see you more open.

Like a new Dami, right?

Yeah, yeah, maybe. I'm trying, I don't know.

As I go, I'm not clear, either.

But it's true I'm getting better. That's true.

How was the dynamic?

Were you there all the time the three of you on top of each other?

-Or two and one? One looking? -Hey, bro.

How did you organize?

She's loving it, alright.

Is it bad that I love it? I can't love it?

-I do love it. -It's perfect, honey.

-I love it. -I say it as a good thing.

She loves it. Yeah.

Would you try it?

Like she'd be up for it.

-What do you know? -No.

-Obviously. -Obviously?

-Obviously! -You wouldn't be up for it.

You wouldn't, stop fooling around, honey.

You pick the guy.

Get off me.

-No way. -Of course you'd say "no way."

No, I don't like guys.

Don't worry, honey.

You wouldn't have to touch anything. I'd take care of everything.

Careful, Luquitas, in a threesome with two men

there are always two fags undercovered.

Pedro, you're living straight in the Dark Ages.

Yeah, that's when I last had sex, before getting married.

Don't talk like that. It's not like that.

Marriage it's not the same for everybody.

-Don't talk like that. -Alright.

Wait a few months and we'll talk.

Look, the nice part is to be with the person you love,

and be up to do new things, right?

Explore new grounds, unknown until then, and don't judge, either,

and analyze them as something positive and as an evolution of the couple.

Complete freedom. And be up for it.

-Why are you looking at me like that? -It's fine.

It's nice.

I don't really know what I said, but there's this spirit of...

We're talking about having sex.

What I say it's also having sex, but in another way.

Yeah.

Stay here. I'll go up, get it and be right back.

No, no, no. I came all the way here, I'm coming with you.

I want to see all that you do. All the work you do.

Stop!

Carolina.

So weird to see you here.

I came to get this for Mechi.

She's Pato.

-Hi, Pato. -Hi, nice to meet you.

I'm Ari.

Carolina's boss.

I'm here, attending unfinished business with Pixel.

Last minute.

Congrats. Great signing.

-Alright, I'm fucking Pixel. -No.

My husband fucked the osteopath. Touché.

-So, you've talked about it. -What? Excuse me.

You have like an arrangement...

Hello? Honey.

No, I'm delayed. Here, working.

No, no. I'll get the sushi.

Okay. I love you.

Bye, bye.

Tomorrow is our 13th wedding anniversary.

I got him a white scooter, electric.

Costed me two grand.

-Expensive, isn't it? -All that.

Really cool, your boss.

It's different.

She's lying to a guy she supposedly married to.

Me and Damián are different.

We had an amazing night, yeah, but it doesn't mean...

-I was there. -You saw him in the morning.

What he said to Trini's parents. The property up north, the dog.

-I don't know what's wrong... -Horrible, horrible.

Terrifying.

That's why. You get it.

I still think you shouldn't lie to him.

Ask him what's the movie he wants.

I know, let's go watch the horror one.

-Yeah. -Not horror, I get nightmares.

I'll spoon you, honey.

No, I'm in the bachelorette party group.

There's nothing more horror-like than this. God.

So, what? Are we all three going?

I don't know. It'll be something small, I think.

Also, I only got a "plus one."

Go with Lauti, he's known your sister all his life.

No, you go, show your face.

Then tell me how many times they tell you, "And you two, when?"

-Hi. -Hi.

-How are you? Yeah. -Fine, fine.

I want three tickets for The curse of Malasaña

and we have a two-for-one here.

Alright. It'd be a two-for-one and one full ticket.

-Yes. -No, why?

Give me the other one half-off. Right?

I'm sorry, we can't do that.

Tickets are half-off on Wednesdays, today is Monday.

But you're charging me a tax for coming by myself.

Tickets are half-off on Wednesday.

No, no. Give me two two-for-one. We're four.

Us three and my invisible friend, Bobby.

Two two-for-one.

Okay.

My, what a bummer.

-I don't have four joint seats. -Don't worry, it's okay.

-May I add popcorn? -You can choose one of our combos.

"Solo," "Love" or "Family." What's this? How is it?

It's two sodas. I hope we don't break the magic of the even number.

Okay. Family combo is four people, no matter what.

Honey, she doesn't make the combos.

And if you want a second one and you don't get it.

If we go for a pizza in a cab.

No combo, relax.

Two waters, two popcorns and one soda.

You can get your popcorn over there. Thank you very much.

Perfect. Thank you.

What do we do? Raffle off who goes alone?

-We raffle off. -We raffle off.

Take my hand, Paco.

I'm scared. I'm scared.

Paco.

I'm so jealous. Did you hear what she said to him?

I'm so jealous. Did you hear what she said to him?

"Take my hand." I got a bit horny, handsome.

-Hi. -I got out early and came.

Cool.

-I'm sorry for changing plans. -Welcome.

Did you move in recently?

Yeah, yeah. About six months, seven months.

Dami, I think you're exaggerating about the happy family stuff.

No, that's a long story to explain.

Well, alright, where do I begin?

My ex cheated on me and I had a bad time.

And what did you do with the baby?

No, the crib is Pedro's, a friend of mine.

It's Beni's, his son, he's not using it and Pedro brought it.

Because this is his apartment, really.

I'm here in the meantime until they get a real tenant.

I don't have a bed, either. As you can see.

I have the mattress like that. I'm sorry.

I mean, I rather buy it later, when...

I had a bed, that's where I was going to.

With Romina, at that time, we did the whole gig.

We met in college, hooked up,

moved in together, bought things half and half.

All my furniture was there, at the house we were living in.

We bought a property.

So, the property does exist, then.

Yes, it does.

That's why you acted so good with Trini's parents.

Yeah, maybe. We were all acting, it was the idea.

Yeah, but you nailed it.

You could tell you had it all planned out.

Yeah, it was planned out.

It was all planned out, but, well...

As you can see, it didn't work.

So, now I'll have to try other things.

New things.

Like this, for instance.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

Dami, if something isn't for you, there's no need to force yourself.

No, you mean the whisky? I'll get used to it.

I would've wanted you liked whiskey, yeah.

But I know it's not for everybody.

Well, I could give it a shot for you.

If you're going to try new things, it has to be because you want to.

Okay.

No.

Don't tell me it's a light ring.

I'm really bad at this dating over apps.

You don't need to do anything.

First, make a profile and then you'll see.

Alright.

You look hot here. Look. Am I right?

No, this one.

CREATE ACCOUNT

And this?

"Description." What do I type in here?

I'd describe you as an encyclopedia "For dummies."

Sensitive.

A wild, furious hook-up.

Well-gifted.

No, don't write that, Damián.

-What do I know? -We'll do that later.

-No description, then. -There you go.

Look, that's to next her and that's to like.

Let me see.

-Okay. -Look at her, look at her tits.

Yeah. And her?

That's for me, tell her you have a friend to introduce her to.

Okay. Well, that's it.

And her?

Do you like them?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Well, that's it. It's done. Account created.

-Look. -Yeah.

-Do you like her? -Yeah.

-Yeah? -Yeah, yeah.

-Do you like her? -Well, there it is. App done.

Are you having nightmares, too?

-What happened? -Your first catch!

-Let's see. -Let's see what it is.

Good, champ.

Yeah, I got a catch. She's typing.

What is she saying?

She says to meet now.

Do you want to?

-Say yes! Say yes, come on! -No.

I never imagined I'd end the day

-in a date with a stranger. -I'll change and you go.

-But... -Life is better the less you plan it.

-But... -There you go.

Now let me...

-Your second catch. -Alright. Yeah?

-Another one? -You got another.

-Alright. -That's a lot.

Which one do I choose? How do I do it?

There's no need to pick just one.

NEXT ON "SIX IS NOT A CROWD"

And I'm not an expert about greyhounds.

You're talking about the Coton de Tuléar puppy,

-And there are the sausage dogs. -And talking about sausages...

Play hard-to-get, make her feel jealous.

He fantasizes about being polyamorous, but he doesn't know what he wants.

Good thing you answered.

-I think I'm dying... -Yes.

Well, dying to see each other.

-Is that underwear? -No, no.

-Hey, I wanted to apologize... -Why?

But did you really think you could have something serious with her?

NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS SERIES