Original subtitles

WELCOME, YOUR LORDSHIP.

WELCOME, YOUR WORSHIP.

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.

MARY TWIGG--

BOTH PARENTS DIED OF THE FEVER.

DO YOU KNOW YOUR CATECHISM, CHILD?

YES, MY LORD BISHOP.

GOOD. GOOD.

AND WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

A DAIRYMAID, SIR.

ELIZABETH WILLIAMS--

THE, UH, MOTHER DROWNED HERSELF,

FATHER UNKNOWN.

WHO WERE THE SONS OF NOAH, CHILD?

SHEM, HAM, AND-- [SNIFFLES]--JAPHETH.

GOOD GIRL.

MOLL FLANDERS--

FOUND ABANDONED BY THE GYPSIES.

RECITE FOR ME, CHILD, A PASSAGE FROM THE SCRIPTURES.

"I AM MY BELOVED'S, AND HIS DESIRE IS TOWARD ME.

"COME, MY BELOVED, LET US GO FORTH

INTO THE FIELDS--"

YES, YES, YES, YES. AHEM.

AND WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

A GENTLEWOMAN, SIR.

A GENTLE--

HA HA HA.

HA HA HA.

A GENTLEWOMAN, INDEED.

HA HA HA!

AND WHO'S TO SAY SHE WON'T BE... WITH THOSE EYES?

THERE, THERE.

AND LATER ON BRING ME THOSE FLOWERS I CHOSE.

RIGHT, SIR.

I WANT THYME, FENNEL, SAGE, AND BLACKCURRANT.

THEY DO SHOOT UP, SIR, DON'T THEY?

DAMN IT, THEY DO. IT SEEMS BUT YESTERDAY

I BROUGHT HER TO THE HOUSE AN ORPHAN,

AN INNOCENT CHILD.

THEY DON'T STAY THAT WAY LONG.

NO, THEY DON'T--

BACK TO THE BLACKCURRANTS! THE BLACKCURRANTS.

MY YEARS IN THIS HOUSE WERE EXCEEDINGLY HAPPY.

ALTHOUGH ONLY A SERVANT,

I WAS TREATED AS ONE OF THE FAMILY,

AND, LIKE ITS OTHER MEMBERS, I'VE BEEN ENCOURAGED

TO FOLLOW MY STUDIES

AND KEEP MYSELF SPOTLESSLY TIDY...TOO.

IN OTHER WORDS,

MY EDUCATION WAS IN NO WAY NEGLECTED.

OH, SIR, WHAT A FRIGHT YOU GAVE ME.

OH, SIR. OH, NO, SIR.

OH, SIR, WHAT WILL YOUR FATHER SAY?

I WAS TREATED AS ONE OF THE FAMILY,

AND I ENJOYED ALL THE ADVANTAGES OF A WIDE EDUCATION--

MUSIC...

MUSIC.

♪ WHEN THE COCK BEGINS TO CROW ♪

♪ WHEN THE COCK BEGINS TO CROW ♪

♪ WHEN THE COCK BEGINS TO CROW ♪

♪ WHEN THE COCK BEGINS TO CROW ♪

♪ WHEN THE COCK BEGINS TO CROW ♪

♪ WHEN THE COCK BEGINS TO CROW ♪

♪ COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO ♪

♪ COCK-A-DOODLE-- ♪♪

NO, NO, NO, NO!

MOLL, YOU TAKE MY SISTER'S PART.

SHE'S VILELY OUT OF VOICE.

I'M NOT OUT OF VOICE!

'TIS YOU OUT OF TUNE!

MOLL'S VOICE OUT OF TUNE IS SWEETER THAN YOURS IN.

AYE. AND HER BREATH, TOO.

♪ COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO ♪

♪ COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO ♪

SAMUEL!

OH, I'M SORRY.

MASTER ROBIN, YOU'RE COMING IN LATE,

AND, MISS LAURA, YOUR TIME IS TOO QUICK.

♪ COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO ♪

♪ COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO ♪

♪ WHEN THE AMBER LEAVES BLOW ♪

♪ AND THE OWL CRIES... ♪

IN ADDITION TO MUSIC,

WE HAD LESSONS IN DEPORTMENT, MANNERS--

♪ OHH--OH! ♪♪

MANNERS. AND I SOON PICKED UP

THE WAYS OF LADIES AND OF GENTLEMEN.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

SHOO! SHOO!

THE, UH...

THE SPECKLED HEN WON'T LAY IN THE BOXES.

MOLL, YOU KNOW I'D MARRY YOU.

MARRY ME, SIR?

TELL ME A MAN WHO WOULDN'T.

IF THE WAY OF THE WORLD

WASN'T FIRST TO SEEK FOR A FORTUNE--

'TIS NOT A FORTUNE I LACK, SIR.

I'VE NOT TWO GUINEAS TO RUB TOGETHER.

OH, MOLL.

I'LL--I'LL GIVE YOU MORE GOLD THAN YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

FOR WHAT, SIR?

I HAVE MY WAGES.

I'LL MARRY YOU, MOLL.

TRULY, I WILL.

IN A CHURCH.

A CHURCH?

BEFORE THE PARSON,

IN A LOVELY WHITE DRESS.

WHITE DRESS?

AND PRAYERS.

OH.

OH!

AH.

AND A RING,

AND A MARRIAGE BED, MOLL.

MARRIAGE BED?

[HEN CLUCKS]

WHAT--WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH M-M-MOLL, EH?

FOR A BOY BROUGHT UP IN THE COUNTRY, YOU'RE STRANGELY IGNORANT.

WHY, YOU...

AAH!

MOLL, COME HERE.

AAH!

[PIGS SQUEAL]

WHAT'S GOT INTO THOSE PIGS?

YOUR...SONS, SIR.

HA! HA HA HA!

FIGHTING OVER SOME WENCH, I'LL WAGER.

DO I KNOW HER?

OHH!

IN THE BARN, EH?

I WAS LOOKING FOR EGGS, SIR.

FIND ANY?

NO, SIR.

SHALL YOU AND I GO AND HAVE ANOTHER LOOK?

SAMUEL!

SAMUEL, WHAT ARE YOU AFTER?

A BIRD, MY DEAR. AFTER A BIRD.

[GUNSHOT]

AAH!

SILLY OLD COW.

OH, MY POOR DEAR.

HERE.

YOU SEE, MOLL, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN.

OH, SIR.

I SPENT WHOLE HOURS LOOKING AT THE GOLD

HE HAD GIVEN ME.

I COUNTED HIS COINS A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY.

RUIN WAS AT MY DOOR.

BUT I THINK I NOW RATHER WISHED FOR THAT RUIN

THAN STUDIED HOW TO AVOID IT.

GOODBYE, BROTHER.

GOODBYE, DEAR.

SIR.

HOW LONG WILL YOU BE GONE?

A WEEK. OR A MONTH

IF THE PLEASURES OF TOWN ARE DIVERTING.

OH.

AW...

THERE NOW, MOLL.

[FLUTE PLAYS]

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

SOMETHING IN THE WATER.

A CORPSE?

I'VE KNOWN GOOD PICKINGS OFF DROWNED MEN.

A LASS, BY HER LONG HAIR.

UNLESS IT'S SOME FOOL GENTLEMAN BATHING IN HIS WIG.

IS THAT A SHEEP OR A PILE OF CLOTHES?

LET'S HOPE IT'S A MAN

AND HE'S BROUGHT HIS WATCH AND PURSE.

COME ON.

HELP YOURSELF, SQUINT.

NO, NOT A FARTHING.

THERE'S A BIT OF LACE HERE, THOUGH.

I SEE YOU!

VILLAINS!

OHH, I SEE YOU!

WRETCHES!

HELP!

HELP!

HELP!

OOH, YOU!

VILLAINS!

M-M-M-MISS FLANDERS.

I WANTED FOR A LONG TIME

TO GET YOU... ON YOUR OWN.

I'D LIKE VERY MUCH TO--

OOH!

LIKE VERY MUCH TO TALK TO YOU, IF I MAY, PLEASE.

M-M-M-MISS FLANDERS,

I-I-I'VE NEVER CALLED YOU M-M-MOLL

AS THE OTHERS HAVE DONE,

BECAUSE, IN BRIEF, I'VE, WELL,

I'VE NEVER TREATED YOU AS A SERVANT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD,

BECAUSE, IN SHORT,

YOU'VE ALWAYS SEEMED TO ME TO BE MORE OF AN EQUAL

A-A-AND, IN MANY CASES,

A...A SUP-- A SUPERIOR.

I--I--I HAVE MOVED, AS YOU KNOW--

I HAVE MOVED, AS YOU KNOW, IN OUR OWN LOCAL SOCIETY--

IN OUR LOCAL SOCIETY,

AND I'VE NEVER FOUND A YOUNG WOMAN TO COMPARE WITH YOU

FOR YOUR--YOUR LOOKS,

YOUR GOOD HUMOR, OR YOUR WIT.

IN-N-N-N BRIEF, M-M-MISS FLANDERS,

I'D LIKE VERY MUCH M-M-M-MARRY YOU.

MARRY? ME?

MARRY MOLL?

NO! OHH!

AND WHAT, PRAY, IS WRONG WITH MOLL?

SHE'S AS GENTEEL AS ANY OF OUR ACQUAINTANCES!

GENTEEL? SHE WAS DRAGGED UP BY GYPSIES.

AND WHAT'S MORE, SHE'S A BASTARD!

YES, AND SHE'S A JUMPED-UP SERVANT GIRL!

BRED IN A POORHOUSE!

AT LEAST SOMEONE'S ASKED FOR HER,

WHICH IS MORE THAN ANYONE'S DONE FOR YOU!

OHH!

OHH!

QUIET DOWN! QUIET!

YOU, TOO!

AAH!

QUIET, ALL OF YOU!

HAVE SOME RESPECT

FOR YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD!

I DO, SIR!

BY FINDING A WIFE WHO'LL PUT SOME GOOD LOOKS INTO THIS FAMILY!

[COUGHING]

MOLL?

I MUST TALK WITH YOU.

PLEASE TELL ME-- TELL ME WHAT TO DO,

WHAT TO SAY.

SAY TO WHO?

HIM. HE. HE'S ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.

WHO? WHO?

HE. YOUR BROTHER.

AND HE'S TOLD THE WHOLE FAMILY.

OH, THEY'LL MURDER ME FOR SURE.

HA HA HA HA HA!

HE'S A GOOD ENOUGH FELLOW AND WELL-PROVIDED.

OR DO YOU LOOK HIGHER?

HOW CAN I BE A WIFE TO ONE BROTHER AND A...

A MISTRESS TO THE OTHER?

MMM, IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS ON THAT SCORE, MOLL,

I HAVE NO CLAIMS ON YOU.

NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER

THAN TO REGARD YOU AS A SISTER.

IF YOU DON'T MARRY HIM,

THEY'LL KICK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE.

AND WHAT WILL YOUR PROSPECTS BE THEN,

A GIRL WHO'S LOST HER REPUTATION?

WHO TOOK IT FROM ME?

AND...

YOU MAY BE WITH CHILD FOR ALL WE KNOW.

YES, YOUR BEST COURSE IS TO MARRY MY BROTHER,

JUST AS SOON AS YOU CAN GET HIM TO THE CHURCH.

HIS WORDS HAD PUT IDEAS INTO MY HEAD,

AND I FANCIED MYSELF WITH CHILD.

A FEAR THAT LUCKILY PROVED FALSE.

BUT BY THEN,

TAKING THE ADVICE OF THE MAN WHOM I STILL LOVED,

I'D SAID...

I WILL.

WHO GIVETH THIS WOMAN

TO BE MARRIED TO THIS MAN?

MODESTY FORBIDS ME TO REVEAL THE...

SECRETS OF THE MARRIAGE BED.

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

NEVER, LADIES, NEVER MARRY A FOOL.

ANY HUSBAND RATHER THAN A FOOL.

OHH! OH, YOU!

WHETHER A MAD FOOL OR A SOBER FOOL,

TAKE ANYTHING BUT A FOOL.

HA HA HA HA!

YAA-HAA!

YAA!

HYAH!

AND THIS ONE CAME TO A FOOL'S END.

I THANK YOU, VICAR.

MY DEAR.

DON'T CRY, MOTHER. PLEASE.

THE FAMILY, OF COURSE,

MADE SURE I GOT NOTHING BY HIS WILL.

AND SO, NEXT MORNING EARLY,

I LEFT THE HOUSE

TO MAKE MY WAY IN THE WORLD.

AND NOW I WAS FACED BY THE WORST OF DEVILS-- POVERTY.

A GIRL CAN BE KEPT BY A MAN

OR SHE CAN KEEP HERSELF,

BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE,

EVEN WHEN INDEPENDENT,

SHE IS STILL LOOKING FOR A KEEPER.

AND, I CONFESS,

I WAS NOT SUITABLY AFFECTED BY THE LOSS OF MY HUSBAND.

THOUGH A WIDOW,

I FELT I SHOULD SOON BE A WIDOW CONSOLED.

GOOD DAY, MA'AM.

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP YOU?

I, UH...I'VE COME ABOUT THE POSITION.

OH, WELL, MISS GLOWBER'S IN THE FITTING ROOM.

BELLA, BELLISSIMA!

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A SEAMSTRESS, CHILD.

WITH THOSE LEGS, YOU CAN CLIMB HIGHER THAN NEEDLEWORK.

I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE, SIR,

OF ANYTHING BUT HOUSEHOLD DUTIES.

AH, QUELLE CHANCE.

MY WIFE IS LOOKING FOR A LADY'S MAID.

LADY'S MAID, INDEED. HA!

LADY BLYSTONE SHOULD WAIT FOR MAIDS

UNTIL SHE CAN PAY HER BILLS.

THIS ONE, SIR, HAS BEEN DUE TWO MONTHS!

MY WIFE WILL SEND YOU THE MONEY

AS SOON AS WE GET TO LONDON.

I THINK, SIR, SHE IS NOT YOUR WIFE.

I KNOW HER FOR THE DUKE OF ILCHESTER'S DAUGHTER,

FROM A STRONG FAMILY RESEMBLANCE IN NOT PAYING DEBTS.

OH, PER FAVORE, PLEASE.

SOME PEOPLE COME TO THE COUNTRY FOR CREDIT

WHEN THEY CAN NO LONGER OBTAIN IT IN TOWN.

SEND IT TO MY BANKERS.

IF YOU HAVE BANKERS,

PERHAPS YOU WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH TO SIGN IT AND ADDRESS IT.

I UNDERSTAND, LADY BLYSTONE,

YOU'RE IN NEED OF A MAID.

IN NEED, MY DEAR, I CERTAINLY AM,

BUT I'M ALSO IN NEED OF THE FUNDS TO PAY ONE.

I WOULD COME TO YOU FOR NOTHING, JUST FOR MY KEEP.

YOU'RE A WIDOW, MY DEAR?

YES.

OH, YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHY.

THANK YOU, BUT IT'S OUT OF PLACE.

MY HUSBAND WAS A FOOL.

I CANNOT CLAIM IT WAS ANY GREAT LOSS.

YOU SEE,

IT'S NOT WAGES I WANT BUT OPPORTUNITY.

AND WHAT OPPORTUNITY DO YOU EXPECT IN LONDON?

THE CHANCE OF ANOTHER HUSBAND.

AND HOW DO YOU THINK OUR CITY MEN ARE DIFFERENT

FROM YOUR RUSTIC VARIETY?

I DO NOT THINK THEY ARE DIFFERENT,

BUT THERE'S A WIDER CHOICE, MILADY.

OF THE CLOTH AND COLOR OF THEIR CLOTHES PERHAPS,

BUT NOT WHAT'S INSIDE.

COULD YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN A COUNTRY CLOD AND A COURTIER IN THE DARK?

BUT I'D SOONER MARRY THE COURTIER, WOULDN'T YOU?

AH, MARRIAGE, YES, THERE I AGREE.

THE CLOTH COUNTS MORE THAN WHAT IT CONTAINS.

YOU KNOW, YOU PLEASE ME, CHILD.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO ON BEFORE ME

AND TAKE MY BAGGAGE TO LONDON?

OH, MILADY.

DARLING, I HAVE GOOD NEWS.

WE HAVE A NEW MAID.

OH, BELLA, BELLISSIMA.

I SAID MAID.

BUT, DARLING...

R-O-T-H.

H? H.

ROTHCHILD.

I WAS RESOLVED NOW TO BE MARRIED OR NOTHING

AND TO BE WELL-MARRIED OR NOT AT ALL.

I NOW HAD THE FIRST ESSENTIAL

FOR A WOMAN WHO SEEKS A HUSBAND-- A GOOD WARDROBE.

IT WASN'T MINE, OF COURSE,

BUT I'D BORROWED SKILLFULLY.

ALREADY IT SEEMED TO BE HAVING AN EFFECT.

WARMER THAN YESTERDAY.

I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR?

I SAY IT'S WARMER THAN YESTERDAY.

INDEED, SIR?

IN MY ESTIMATION, 'TIS SOMEWHAT COOLER.

WELL, I'LL NOT DISPUTE THE TEMPERATURE, MA'AM,

IF YOU'LL PERMIT ME TO OPEN THE WINDOW.

I DO HOPE WE'LL DISPUTE NOTHING, SIR.

WE'VE A LONG WAY TO GO.

LONDON?

MMM.

HAVE YOU BEEN THERE BEFORE?

NO. NEVER.

I HOPE YOU HAVE GOOD FRIENDS THERE, MA'AM.

'TIS A CITY FULL OF SNARES AND PITFALLS FOR THE UNWARY.

I THINK, SIR, I SHALL SOON MAKE FRIENDS.

ATTEND TO THEIR QUALITY, MA'AM.

I RESPECT YOUR ADVICE, SIR.

ARE YOU GOING TO LONDON, SIR?

YES. I'VE BEEN ON BUSINESS TO PLYMOUTH,

A CITY, I REGRET TO SAY, OVERPOPULATED WITH NONCONFORMISTS.

MAY I ASK, SIR,

THE NATURE OF YOUR BUSINESS?

I'M A BANKER, MA'AM.

MMM.

MMM.

[CHUCKLING]

DEVILISH AMUSING, SOME OF THESE BISHOPS.

AH...

I SEE I HAD NO NEED TO FEAR

THAT YOU WOULD GO UNPROTECTED IN LONDON.

YOU WEAR A RING, MA'AM. YOU HAVE A HUSBAND.

UNFORTUNATELY, SIR...

I'M A WIDOW.

'TIS A DROLL CHANCE THAT BRINGS US TOGETHER.

HAPPILY, MA'AM-- UH, UNHAPPILY, UH, I AM A WIDOWER.

OH.

GIVE ME THE POT OF JAM, WILL YOU?

AAH!

[INSECTS BUZZING]

WHOA! WHOA!

GUARD?

SIR?

WHAT'S TOWARD?

THERE'S A DEAD MAN ON THE ROAD, SIR.

KEEP YOUR EYES ABOUT YOU. THAT'S AN OLD TRICK.

STAND FAST!

I'LL DROP THE FIRST MAN THAT MOVES.

A HOLDUP! MY WATCH!

OH, THANK HEAVEN!

I'VE NAUGHT ELSE BUT A HANDFUL OF GUINEAS.

AND YOU?

I STILL HAVE MY HEAD, SIR.

IF YOU'LL CALM YOURSELF.

HAND ME THAT CUSHION AND THEN LISTEN A MOMENT.

NO BRANDY, NO CONSIGNMENTS OF CLOTH,

NO LACE, NO BULLION?

NOT A THING, SIR, BUT THE PASSENGERS' BAGGAGE.

I SWEAR IT, SIR.

LET ME SEE THE PASSENGERS.

SQUINT, SEARCH THE COACH.

MAY YOU BURN IN HELL, SIR, FOR YOUR DAMNED IMPUDENCE.

AND MAY YOU DIE A SLOW DEATH, SIR,

OF THE TEDIUM IN HEAVEN.

MEANWHILE, YOUR PURSE.

A RING, SIR, PERHAPS?

YOU WOULD NOT LIE TO ME, SIR, I HOPE?

ALL RIGHT, SIR.

WOULD YOU MIND ALIGHTING, M'LADY?

I WANT TO SEARCH THE COACH.

THOUGH YOU ARE A SCOUNDREL,

I SEE YOU'RE A MAN OF MANNERS.

THIS YOUNG LADY,

WHO'S TRAVELING UNDER MY PROTECTION,

IS, IF YOU'LL FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING SO,

WITH CHILD.

NINE MONTHS, TWO WEEKS, FOUR DAYS.

AND NO MIDWIFE 'TWIXT HERE AND SALISBURY.

I ENVY YOUR HUSBAND HIS CHILD.

ALAS, SIR, I'M A WIDOW.

THEN YOU'VE LOST ENOUGH. I'LL TAKE NO MORE.

GUARD, YOU CAN MOVE THE CART.

MA'AM.

COURTESY, YOU APE! ASSIST THE LADY.

AND YOU, SIR.

I'LL STARVE MYSELF BUT NOT MY HORSES,

SO I'LL HAVE YOUR WIG.

AS I THOUGHT, SIR. A CRAVAT PIN.

DRIVE ON, COACHMAN. BY THE LOOK OF THINGS,

YOU'D BETTER MAKE GOOD TIME TO SALISBURY.

RIGHT. GO ON. GET UP, BOY.

[WHISTLES]

COME ON, TOBY.

THAT'S THE BOY. GOOD LAD.

WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

ALL RIGHT. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?

FOUND IT UNDER THE SEAT.

'TIS HERS. I SAID WE'D SPARE HER.

YOU SPARE TOO MANY.

THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO DISOBEY ORDERS.

"LADY BLYSTONE."

TITLED, TOO.

A WIDOW, CHILD ON THE WAY,

WHY SHOULD A MAN RISK HANGING, SQUINT,

WHEN THERE ARE WOMEN LIKE THAT NEEDING COMFORT AND CARE...

AND A MAN TO SHOW THEM HOW TO SPEND THEIR MONEY?

LONDON!

PLAYHOUSES! PALACES!

GAY PROMENADES! MILLINERS! DRESSMAKERS!

HATTERS! JEWELERS! HOSIERS!

HABERDASHERS! HAIRDRESSERS! AND...HUSBANDS.

GET AWAY, YOU GOATS!

GO ON OFF!

BE OFF OVER THERE!

GO ON OFF IT!

WHOA THERE!

AH, HERE WE ARE.

A VERY AGREEABLE JOURNEY, MA'AM.

YOU'LL WANT A PORTER, MISS?

HOW MUCH?

[SCREAMING]

ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T FEEL SAFER IF I ACCOMPANIED YOU?

THANK YOU, SIR, BUT I HAVE MY PORTERS.

I SHALL TAKE A CHAIR.

YOUR SERVANT, MA'AM.

CHAIR!

HERE, MADAM.

HEY, YOU.

HERE, FOLLOW THAT CHAIR.

MOVE OVER.

SIR! HOW DID YOU KNOW I--

IS HER LADYSHIP AT HOME?

BY SAINT BARTHOLOMEW, YOU!

I CAME TO INQUIRE AFTER MY OLD FRIEND LADY BLYSTONE.

I'M STAYING WITH LADY BLYSTONE.

OH, I SEE.

SHE WILL NOT BE BACK UNTIL TOMORROW.

INDEED.

THE HOUSE, I FEAR, IS IN SOME DISORDER.

LADY BLYSTONE'S SERVANTS SEEM TO HAVE GONE.

HER SERVANTS MAKE A HABIT OF GOING,

AND FOR GOOD REASON.

BUT YOU ARE NOT THEN STAYING IN THIS HOUSE ALONE?

UH, FOR TONIGHT, YES.

HMM. ONE CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE NEW TO LONDON.

WHY?

ARE YOU NOT AWARE OF THE DANGERS,

A WOMAN ALONE IN THIS PART OF TOWN?

DANGERS?

HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF THE MOHOCKS,

GANGS OF YOUNG MEN WHO TERRORIZE THE STREETS?

YOU SAW THEM AT THE COACHING STATION.

THEY STOP AT NOTHING-- ROBBERY, ARSON, RAPE.

WHY, ONLY LAST WEEK, IN THIS VERY STREET,

A GIRL OPENED HER DOOR TO LET IN HER CAT,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID?

THEY SLIT OFF HER NOSE WITH A RAZOR!

WHAT...WHAT SHOULD I DO, SIR?

ALLOW ME TO BE OF SERVICE.

I HAVE NO ENGAGEMENTS THIS EVENING.

PERMIT ME TO STAY AND KEEP YOU COMPANY.

WELL, I HARDLY THINK, SIR, THAT WOULD BE SEEMLY.

WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?

I AM AN ALDERMAN OF THE CITY OF LONDON,

A PARISH COUNSELOR, A MEMBER OF THE SOCIETY

FOR THE REFORMATION OF MORALS.

DO YOU THINK I CANNOT BE TRUSTED

TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH A WOMAN WITHOUT OFFERING OFFENSE?

I TAKE THIS ILL

THAT YOU SHOULD SO MISJUDGE MY CHARACTER.

NAY. I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND YOU,

BUT I'VE SCARCE SEEN THE HOUSE.

I KNOW NOT WHAT ACCOMMODATION THERE IS.

THEN LET US RECONNOITER.

SHALL WE?

A BED BUT NO LINEN.

A SMELL OF MICE, BUT NO BED. AH!

DEAR, DEAR.

A BED...

AND LINEN!

ENOUGH FOR A WARM NIGHT.

WE'VE NOT LOOKED AT THE ATTICS YET.

THEY LEAK. LADY BLYSTONE TOLD ME SO.

YOU ARE NOT PROPOSING, SIR, THAT--

YOU'VE KNOWN ME LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW MY CHARACTER.

DO YOU SUPPOSE I CAN'T SLEEP

IN THE SAME BED WITH A WOMAN

WITHOUT ACTING LIKE A BEAST IN THE FIELD?

WE'RE BOTH PEOPLE OF PRINCIPLE

AND FAR REMOVED FROM LEWDNESS.

HOWEVER, IF YOU STILL HAVE SCRUPLES, HERE.

THE RAMPARTS OF CHASTITY.

NOW THEN...

A PILLOW.

WHAT'S THIS?

"GIN."

A VULGAR BEVERAGE, BUT EFFICACIOUS.

[LAUGHING]

[GLASSES TINKLING]

YOU KNOW, ON GIN AND WATER

A WORKING MAN CAN GET DEAD DRUNK FOR TUPPENCE.

THEY SHOULD IMPOSE A TAX, MA'AM,

TO KEEP SUCH PERNICIOUS LIQUORS

FROM ALL BUT THE, UH, THE MORE RESPONSIBLE CLASSES.

OH, LORD.

I MUST GET OUT OF HERE!

PSST!

THE COAST IS CLEAR.

DUNS, BAILIFFS, DEBT COLLECTORS,

THEY ALWAYS SMOKE PIPES.

WHY DON'T YOU PAY SOME OF YOUR DEBTS?

THEN WE COULD WALK DOWN THE STREET

WITHOUT FEARING A BAILIFF ON EVERY CORNER.

THEY'RE HERE! THE BUMS!

WHY, WILLIAM!

A NOCTURNAL VISIT?

I CAME TO PAY YOU A CALL, MY DEAR,

TO SEE IF YOU WERE BACK.

AT DAWN?

YOU NEVER WERE AN EARLY RISER, WILLIAM,

SO FAR AS I REMEMBER,

EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR ONE PURPOSE.

BUT I'D HEARD YOU BECAME A CHURCH WARDEN AT ST. BRIDES.

THE SPIRIT WAS WILLING, BUT THE FLESH WAS WEAK.

THE SPIRIT SMELLS UNCOMMONLY LIKE GIN.

OH, THE FLESH GROWS WEAKER WITH THE YEARS

AND LESS ABLE TO SUSTAIN THE EXERTIONS.

YOU'RE SO RIGHT, MY DEAREST ONE.

POOR DEAR.

YOUR SERVANT, MA'AM.

YOUR SERVANT.

TO LIE WITH A BANKER

ON HER FIRST NIGHT IN TOWN IS A GOOD BEGINNING.

IT SHOWS PROMISE.

[DOOR SLAMS]

WHY, MIGGY,

YOU'RE VERY PEEVISH.

HA. PAY SOME OF MY DEBTS.

IF YOU WANTED A RICH MAN,

YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED HIM.

TWAS NOT FOR WANT OF HIS ASKING.

I KNOW HIM TOO WELL.

HE'S A SAINT IN THE DAYLIGHT AND A DEVIL IN THE DARK.

"SIR, WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT

"WAS MOSTLY MY FAULT.

"IT IS I, NOT YOU, WHO SHOULD MAKE AMENDS.

"I HESITATE TO ENTRUST YOUR RING TO A SERVANT.

WHEN CAN WE MEET AGAIN

SO I MAY RETURN IT?"

SIR? WHAT...?

WE PUT DOWN STRAW TO QUIET THE NOISE OF THE WHEELS.

THERE'S A MAN IN THERE DYING.

MADAM.

MAKE HASTE WITH THOSE LEECHES.

HE'S AS BLUE AS A BUTCHER'S APRON.

MY HAT? WHAT SHALL I DO WITH MY HAT?

HERE.

OH, THANK YOU.

ARE YOU THE NURSE?

WHO NEEDS A NURSE?

MY MASTER WAS OUT ALL NIGHT IN THE RAIN.

HE'S PROMISED 1,000 POUNDS TO THE CHURCH

IF THEIR PRAYERS PULL HIM THROUGH.

HE RECOVERS! HE RECOVERS!

HE'S SPOKEN AGAIN.

HALLELUJAH!

AND ORDERED TOAST AND TEA!

TOAST AND TEA! TOAST AND TEA!

THAT'S A CHANGE FROM WINE AND WENCHES.

HE'S REPENTED ALL RIGHT.

COULD YOU... GIVE HIM THIS?

BUT THE CAUSE, DOCTOR, THE CAUSE?

A MORBID FLUX OF VISCOUS FLUID

CONGESTED THE PASSAGES TO THE VITAL ORGANS.

I WAS NEAR DEATH?

CLOSER THAN I AM TO YOU, SIR.

AND THIS CONGESTION OF FLUIDS--

SHH!

HERE WE ARE. IN HERE.

AH!

THESE LEECHES, SIR,

WILL DIMINISH THE PLETHORIC HUMORS,

AND BY REMOVING

THE UNHEALTHY EFFUSION, REPLETION, AND EXCESS,

RESTORE YOU TO NORMAL, IF DIMINISHED, HEALTH.

I SHALL RECOVER?

ONLY BY ADOPTING A WAY OF LIFE

LESS ROUSING TO THE SANGUINARY CHOLERIC

AND MELANCHOLY HUMORS.

GIVE IT BACK TO HER

AND ADMIT NO MORE WOMEN.

BY THE BACK DOOR OR THE FRONT.

BY NIGHT OR BY DAY, NO MORE WOMEN.

♪ BUY A VERY FINE BRUSH ♪

♪ WILL YE BUY A VERY FINE BRUSH? ♪

GRUNT! GRUNT!

WHERE'S BREAKFAST?

I AIN'T GOT TWO PAIRS OF HANDS.

STIR YOURSELF, BROTHER.

HE'S HAD A LONG RIDE AND A BUSY NIGHT.

IN HERE.

HUH?

THERE.

BREAKFAST.

BREAKFAST!

[DUTCHY] EAT YOUR BREAKFAST

AND STOP DREAMING OF YOUR FINE LADY.

A WIDOW.

IF ALL WENT WELL, SHE'S A MOTHER BY NOW.

HMM. POOR, FATHERLESS CHILD.

WHAT'S THIS? A CONVERSION?

THE FATHERLESS CHILDREN YOU'VE FATHERED

WOULD FILL AN ORPHANAGE.

DUTCHY, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

HIGHWAY ROBBERY'S NOT WHAT IT WAS.

'TIS TIME I FOUND A SETTLED WAY OF LIFE.

LADY BLYSTONE.

NOW, IF I HOOKED HER...

YOU? LIVE OFF A WOMAN?

MMM. WHY NOT?

IT'S QUITE RESPECTABLE, DONE IN THE BEST SOCIETY,

AS LONG AS YOU MARRY THEM FIRST.

MARRY?

IT'D MAKE NO DIFFERENCE TO YOU AND ME,

JUST A KIND OF INSURANCE AGAINST BAD TIMES.

I COULD RETIRE.

MAKE AN HONEST MAN OF MYSELF.

TO WED A LADY OF TITLE,

YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE SOME STATION IN LIFE.

I THOUGHT OF BEING AN OFFICER OF DRAGOONS.

HER FRIENDS WOULD SPOT YOU FOR A FRAUD IN FIVE MINUTES.

NAY, BUT A SHIP'S OFFICER, THAT COULD SUIT US.

YOU'D HAVE TO GO OFF ON LONG VOYAGES.

MONTHS AT A TIME.

WE'D BE AS SNUG AS A BUG IN A RUG.

NOT AN OFFICER. A SHIP'S CAPTAIN.

AH, WITH RICH ESTATES.

ABROAD WHERE SHE CAN'T INSPECT THEM.

I'LL NEED A NEW OUTFIT,

SOME FINERY ABOUT ME.

SQUINT!

HALLO.

FETCH US THAT SUIT OF CLOTHES

TWISTY STRIPPED OFF THE ADMIRAL ON THE PORTSMOUTH ROAD.

YES.

AND YOU, JEMMY,

YOU'LL NEED A GOOD POWDERED WIG

AND A COACH.

HE'LL NEED SOME LIVERY.

WE'LL ALL NEED SOME MONEY.

WHERE'S IT COMING FROM?

I'LL ADVANCE IT.

FOR A 1/5 SHARE OF HER INCOME FOR SEVEN YEARS.

1/10 FOR THREE YEARS.

SIX.

FOUR.

FIVE.

DONE.

ALL AROUND IT'D BE A GOOD STROKE OF BUSINESS.

MIXING IN SOCIETY, YOU'D GET INFORMATION

I COULD PASS TO OUR LIGHT-FINGERED FRIENDS.

A RESPECTABLE MARRIED MAN I'LL BE,

WHO KEEPS A MISTRESS AND BUYS HER TRINKETS.

THINK OF THE PICKINGS, DUTCHY.

AND WITH ME A GENTLEMAN OF LEISURE,

THINK OF THE TIME FOR LOVING.

IS THIS REAL?

UH-HUH. AND THE LAST.

IT WILL HAVE TO GO.

OH, MY LAST DIAMOND.

WE COULD TRY YOUR FATHER AGAIN.

HE'S AS POOR AS WE ARE.

HE'S A DUKE. HE CAN GET CREDIT.

YOU'RE A COUNT. HOW MUCH CREDIT CAN YOU GET?

HE'S A REAL DUKE.

YOU MEAN YOU...

OH, MY TITLE...

THERE ARE FAMILY DISPUTES.

UNFORTUNATELY, MY FATHER THE COUNT DID NOT MARRY MY MOTHER.

HOW COULD SHE HAVE BEEN THE COUNTESS?

AH, SHE WASN'T.

SHE WAS THE COOK.

THE COOK.

AS LONG AS SHE WAS A GOOD ONE.

COME, MY LOVE.

THERE ARE FOUR MONEYLENDERS WE HAVE NOT YET TRIED.

OH.

THESE MAY BE FALSE,

BUT A TRUE HEART BEATS BENEATH THEM.

OH, MIGGY.

WAY UP. WHOA.

TWO HOUSES FURTHER ON.

RIGHT. GO ON.

GO ON.

WHOA. WHOA.

FINE SERVANTS SHE KEEPS.

YOU'D TAKE 'EM FOR QUALITY.

NOW DON'T BE TOO LONG.

THESE FALLALS COST US 10 SHILLINGS AN HOUR.

SUIT YOUR STYLE TO YOUR CLOTHES.

OTHERWISE SHE'LL SEE THROUGH THEM.

ANYBODY HOME?

PSST. I'LL TURN THE COACH AROUND.

ANYBODY IN?

AHOY THERE!

[SCRUBBING]

AAH!

YOU'LL OBLIGE ME BY INFORMING MILADY BLYSTONE

THAT CAPTAIN MEREDITH, ASHORE FROM HIS SHIP THE SEA HORSE,

DESIRES A WORD WITH HER.

AND YOU'LL OBLIGE ME BY KEEPING YOUR HOOKS TO YOURSELF.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?

IT WAS STOLEN.

I AM HERE TO RETURN IT.

AND HOW DID YOU GET HOLD OF IT?

FROM TWO SCOUNDRELS WHO WAYLAID ME LAST NIGHT.

I REFORMED THEM WITH MY FISTS,

AND THEY JOINED THE SEA LION'S CREW RATHER THAN HANG.

ANOTHER OF YOUR SHIPS?

THE SEA LION IS A SISTER SHIP TO THE SEA HORSE?

AYE, AYE. SISTER SHIPS THEY ARE,

AND NO PRETTIER SISTERS AFLOAT.

AND THE HAT?

PART OF THE BOOTY THE SCOUNDRELS BROUGHT ON BOARD.

NOW CONDUCT ME TO LADY BLYSTONE.

I'LL TAKE IT. SHE'S NOT--

I WISH TO SEE HER IN PERSON.

I'M NOT ACCUSTOMED TO WAITING IN KITCHENS.

YOU'VE WAITED IN KITCHENS BEFORE NOW,

AYE, AND TUMBLED THE KITCHEN MAIDS, TOO.

I DOUBT LADY BLYSTONE WILL RECEIVE A MAN OF YOUR MANNERS.

DON'T MISJUDGE ME, YOUNG WOMAN.

A LIFE AT SEA LEAVES A MAN WITH ROUGH EDGES.

WHY, ON MY ESTATES, I'VE RECEIVED GREATER LADIES THAN HER.

COUNTESSES, DUCHESSES.

YOUR ESTATES?

AYE. IN VIRGINIA AND THE INDIES.

AND YOU HAVE TWO SHIPS AS WELL?

MM-HMM. THE SEA HORSE LYING AT WAPPING

AND THE SEA, UH, SERPENT

ON PASSAGE BACK FROM JAMAICA.

MY. THAT MAKES THREE.

THE SEA LION, THE SEA HORSE,

AND NOW THE SEA SERPENT.

THAT'S...

A FLEET.

GOD BLESS YOU.

I'M SURE, CAPTAIN, I MEANT NO OFFENSE TO YOU.

I'M SURE YOU GAVE NONE.

FOR 'TIS PLAIN YOU WERE MADE ONLY TO GIVE PLEASURE.

I THANK YOU, CAPTAIN.

I'LL WAGER YOU GOT SOMETHING WORTH LOOKING AT

UNDER THAT DRESS.

I'D WAGER YOU'D SAY SO EVEN IF I HADN'T.

I'D WAGER YOU'D THINK YOU HAD EVEN IF YOU HADN'T.

HMM.

I THINK, CAPTAIN,

I CAN PERSUADE LADY BLYSTONE TO RECEIVE YOU.

FLAWED, I FEAR, MA'AM, AND NOT OF THE HIGHEST QUALITY.

IT CAME FROM THE CROWN OF THE EMPRESS OF RUSSIA.

AND YOU BOUGHT IT FROM THE EMPRESS HERSELF, NO DOUBT.

HOW MUCH?

50 GUINEAS.

50!

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

75?

I CAN LIVE ON TWO MEALS A DAY, I CAN LIVE ON ONE,

BUT I CANNOT LIVE ANOTHER DAY ON NO MEALS A DAY.

MIGGY.

60?

YOU WISH TO SEE ME, CAPTAIN?

AYE, AND INSTANTLY REGRET I HAVE,

FOR NOW ME EYES ARE SPOILED FOR ALL OTHERS.

THE GIRL TOLD ME YOU HAD RETURNED MY HAT,

NOT TO MAKE MY HEAD TOO LARGE FOR IT.

FORGIVE ME. I CANNOT HELP WONDERING.

YES?

WAS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?

THE MAN WHO ROBBED YOUR COACH TOLD ME

HE SPARED YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE--

THE BIBLICAL PHRASE COMES EASIEST TO ME TONGUE--

GREAT WITH CHILD.

GREAT INDEED, SIR.

TWAS NEITHER BOY NOR GIRL.

TWAS A CUSHION, SIR.

THE DOLT WAS EASILY DECEIVED.

HE WAS SO PUFFED UP

WITH HIS PISTOLS AND HIS ROGUE'S VANITY

HE NEVER THOUGHT MY PADDED BELLY HELD NAUGHT

BUT A GOLD WATCH.

I UNDERSTAND, SIR,

YOU HAVE ESTATES ABROAD.

OH, YES. A FEW COUNTIES IN IRELAND.

IRELAND?

AND VIRGINIA AND A PARCEL OF LAND IN THE INDIES.

YOU INTEND TO SETTLE THERE

WHEN YOU RETIRE FROM THE SEA

WITH YOUR WIFE AND FAMILY?

ALAS, MA'AM, I HAVE NEITHER WIFE NOR FAMILY,

THOUGH I HAVE A MIND TO BOTH,

AND FIND LIFE AT SEA INCREASING WEARISOME.

I WOULD, UH, OFFER YOU, UH, REFRESHMENTS,

BUT THE SERVANTS ARE OUT.

DON'T CONCERN YOURSELF, MA'AM.

HANG IT, MA'AM,

A LIFE AT SEA MAKES A MAN DIRECT OF SPEECH.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE A WIDOW.

MMM.

WIDOWHOOD, LIKE THE SEA, GROWS TEDIOUS.

MMM.

HERE WE ARE,

BOTH ADRIFT AND SENDING OUT SIGNALS FOR A TOW.

WHY DON'T WE LIE ALONGSIDE?

A NAUTICAL FIGURE OF SPEECH, MA'AM.

I'M SUGGESTING WE LASH TOGETHER

AND DROP ANCHOR TONIGHT IN SOME PLACE OF ENTERTAINMENT

WHERE I MAY OFFER YOU REFRESHMENT.

FORGIVE ME BOLDNESS, MA'AM.

I'M USED TO CHARTING A COURSE AND SEEING IT STEERED.

AND WHERE WILL YOU STEER ME, CAPTAIN?

IN FAITH, MA'AM,

I'D STEER YOU THROUGH HELL

FOR THE HEAVEN YOU PROMISE WITH THOSE...

EYES.

[CARRIAGE APPROACHES]

AND NOW YOU MUST GO.

GO?

GO. HA HA.

MA'AM, I FEAR--

FORGIVE ME.

I SAY, I MEAN WE--

THOUGH 'TIS HOURS TILL WE MEET...

YOU MUST GO.

I GO WITH FEELINGS BEYOND BEARING.

AYE, BUT GO! GO!

MA'AM, THIS HEART OF MINE IS FULL OF SENTIMENTS

THAT ARE FULL OF...

SENTIMENT.

SQUINT! WAKE UP, YOU LAZY LANDLUBBER.

HE SEEMS GRANDLY DRESSED FOR A BAILIFF.

A LAWYER PERHAPS.

COME TO FORECLOSE THE MORTGAGE.

OH! OH!

THAT GENTLEMAN CALLED?

I, UH, SENT HIM AWAY.

OH, YES, YOU SENT HIM AWAY.

GOOD GIRL.

MIGGY.

TRY IT HERE.

UM...

I FORGOT, UH... MY, UH, COACHMAN.

SQUINT.

HALLO.

I'M 2 GUINEAS SHORT.

IF I TOLD YOU ONCE, I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES,

YOU'RE SPENDING MONEY LIKE WATER.

THAT'S NO GOOD.

SLIT A PURSE AND BRING ME THE MONEY

AND MAKE IT QUICK.

QUICK, HE SAYS.

QUICK.

I'LL THANK YOU FOR MY SEAT, SIR.

I'LL THANK YOU FOR THIS, SIR.

GO FUMBLE YOUR TROLLOPS,

BUT KNOW A LADY WHEN YOU SEE ONE.

STRAY CATTLE MUST BE CLAIMED.

FOUND ABANDONED, ONE PRIZE HEIFER.

SHE'S NOT IN CALF YET.

[LAUGHTER]

HE'S NOT MAN ENOUGH.

CHAIR TO CORNHILL, PLEASE.

CHAIR.

[DOG BARKS]

OH!

AAH!

IF YOU WANT A WOMAN, GO FIND A WHORE!

AAH!

IT'S ME!

I'LL KILL THE PUP! TAKE THAT!

AAH!

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?

GOD BLESS YOU, ME BOY, AND KEEP YOU FROM HARM.

AAH!

THANKS FOR THE LOAN OF THIS!

TOO LATE. THE BILL'S PAID.

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?

LOVELY. MOON AND STARS.

'TIS TIME WE ENJOYED THEM.

NOW PERHAPS YOU'LL BELIEVE

I'M A BAD MAN TO CROSS.

LET'S GET HIM!

YES. DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!

[CARRIAGE APPROACHES]

[SQUINT] WHOA, WHOA.

TOMORROW.

WHEN?

AS SOON AS YOU WAKE.

I HAVE APPOINTMENTS TILL EVENING.

WILL YOU KILL ME WITH WAITING?

IT IS I WHO SHOULD DIE OF IMPATIENCE.

IF WE BOTH SURVIVE, I'LL CALL FOR YOU.

WHERE SHALL WE GO?

SOMEWHERE QUIETER THAN TONIGHT.

YOUR SHIP. WE COULD DINE IN YOUR CABIN...ALONE.

AYE, BUT--

WHICH SHIP LIES AT WAPPING?

THE SEA LION, THE SEA HORSE, OR THE SEA SERPENT?

'TIS THE SERPENT. SO FAR AS I REMEMBER.

I'VE NEVER SEEN HOW A CAPTAIN LIVES ON A SHIP.

I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A SHIP.

I DOUBT THE CREW...

UNTIL TOMORROW.

AYE.

AND THEN ON BOARD.

AM I WRONG, OR HAVE I SEEN THAT DRESS BEFORE?

LADY BLYSTONE ALLOWS ME TO WEAR HER DRESSES...

ON MY NIGHTS OFF.

HA HA! AMUSING.

I MASQUERADE AS A SERVANT,

YOU AS A LADY.

AMUSING...SO LONG AS I'M NOT INDISCREET

AND TELL YOUR HANDSOME GENTLEMAN WHAT YOU ARE.

I SUPPOSE YOUR SILENCE HAS A PRICE.

OF COURSE.

YOUR PART IS EASIER TO PLAY,

FOR YOU HAVE BY NATURE A FOOTMAN'S LEWDNESS.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

AH.

[SINGING IN ITALIAN]

A SHIP! LAD, YOU MUST BE JOKING!

I SAID I HAD SHIPS. SHE'S A FANCY TO DINE ON BOARD.

10 SHILLINGS.

15.

AN EXPENSIVE COURTSHIP. 12.

SOLD.

I'VE GOT HER RIGHT ON THE HOOK.

WE'VE SPENT 10 GUINEAS ON THE COACH ALREADY.

IF SHE'S WORTH 10,000 A YEAR...FOR LIFE.

A CAPTAIN'S CABIN HAS A CAPTAIN'S BEDROOM ADJOINING,

AND I'VE NEVER KNOWN MY JEMMY TO FAIL

WHEN HE'S GOT THE RIGHT FURNISHINGS.

MM-HMM.

GRUNT!

HELLO?

HIRE US A SHIP.

A SHIP?

ONE SHIP.

WHOA. WHOA.

WHOA, BOY. WHOA THERE.

GOODNESS! FIVE?

FIVE?

WHY...WHY, 'TIS AN ARMADA YOU OWN.

OH, YES.

WHOA.

27 HOURS. THAT'S ANOTHER GUINEA.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.

THAT'S ALL I EVER HEAR...MONEY.

GET UP!

HERE ARE YOUR THINGS, BROTHER.

WHAT A HANDSOME SHIP.

AYE. SHE'S A KETCH SLOOPED GAFF-RIGGED,

SQUARE-BOTTOMED THREE-MASTER.

WHAT IS YOUR CARGO?

GOLD FROM THE INDIES, SPICES FROM THE EAST.

CAN'T YOU SMELL THE ODORS OF THE ORIENT--

CINNAMON, CLOVES, NUTMEG, VANILLA?

[SNIFFING]

HUH?

JUST HERE, IT'S MOSTLY THE ODOR OF THE SHIP'S CAT.

HOW I'D LOVE TO SAIL THE SALT SEAS

AND SEE STRANGE PEOPLE'S LANDS.

HOW EXCITING IT MUST BE.

I'M LEARNING THAT LIFE ASHORE HAS EXCITEMENTS, TOO.

YOU WOULDN'T GROW WEARY...

OF THE DAILY ROUND AND YOUR OWN FIRESIDE?

NOT IF THERE WERE SOMEONE TO SHARE IT WITH.

[BELL RINGS]

SIX BELLS, CAPTAIN.

18 MINUTES PAST 9 AND VICTUALS ON THE TABLE.

ALL FAST AND TIDE ON THE TURN.

THANK YOU. BEFORE THE CREW ARE FED,

MAKE SURE ALL TOP GALLANTS ARE BATTENED DOWN,

ALL CAPSTANS, UH...

SPLICED.

SHALL WE GO BELOW, MA'AM?

ALL CREW ON DECK!

OUT OF YOUR HAMMOCKS, YOU SCURVY LOT OF CARRION!

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

MUSTER ALOFT TO YOUR VICTUALS!

SHOW A LEG! SHOW A LEG!

TO YOUR LEFT.

[SQUINT] AH, MUSTER!

GET OVER ON THE STARBOARD SIDE!

MUSTER ALOFT THERE, SKIVVIES!

GET OVER THE STARBOARD SIDE THERE!

AYE, AYE.

[STOMPING AND YELLING]

PUDDING.

HA HA!

HOT PUDDING.

AH! THANK YOU, CAPTAIN.

ME EYESIGHT AIN'T WHAT IT WAS

SINCE I LOST AN EYE IN A SEA FIGHT.

THE CAPTAIN HIMSELF WERE NEAR SHOT IN HALF

WITH A BROADSIDE OF CHAIN SHOT.

HE PULLED ME AND FOUR SHIPMATES

FROM THE MOUTH OF THE DUTCH CANNON

DESPITE HIS BOOTS WERE FULL OF BOILING OIL,

AND THE SHARKS WERE SNAPPING UP ARMS AND LEGS

LIKE TIDBITS FROM DAVY JONES' LOCKER.

THANK YOU, COOK. WE ARE SERVED NOW.

♪ I KNEW A GIRL WHO LIKED SAILORS FOR SPORT ♪

SQUI...COOK!

♪ AND A SAILOR'S LIFE-- ♪♪

COOK!

PARDON, CAP'N. ME LEGS AIN'T WHAT THEY WERE NEITHER...

AND THAT'S THE TRUTH.

LOYAL FELLOW, THAT.

I SEE YOU'RE MUCH ADMIRED BY YOUR CREW.

AYE, A GOOD LOT OF LADS.

ROUGH, BUT SOUND IN HEART,

IF NOT IN WIND AND LIMB.

IS THAT YOUR CABIN?

AYE.

MAY I LOOK?

PLEASE DO.

THAT'S ME BACHELOR BUNK,

WHERE I'VE SPENT MANY AN HOUR

DREAMING OF THINGS NOT POSSIBLE.

NOT POSSIBLE?

I THOUGHT THEM NOT POSSIBLE...TILL NOW.

WELL...

'TIS ELEGANT... FOR A MAN.

A MAN ON HIS OWN

NEEDS SOME SOFTNESS ABOUT HIM.

WHAT... WHAT STRANGE SIGHTS YOU...

YOU MUST HAVE SEEN LOOKING THROUGH THIS WINDOW.

I'VE SEEN STRANGE SIGHTS ENOUGH.

ONE GROWS SICK OF THEM.

ALL ONE WANTS IS THE SAME SIGHT, EVERY DAY.

WAKING. GOING TO SLEEP...

EVERY DAY.

EVERY NIGHT.

[BUGLE PLAYS OFF-KEY]

OW!

[SKYLIGHT OPENS]

ENSIGN LOWERED, CAPTAIN. ALL FAST ASTERN.

UH, THANK YOU, BOATSWAIN.

CREW FED, TIDE MAKING FOUR KNOTS, ALL FAST FORWARD.

I WISH YOU'D GO FORWARD...AND FAST.

AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

[WHISTLES]

BOATSWAIN GOING OFF DUTY, CAPTAIN.

THEN FOR GOD'S SAKE, GO, MAN!

MY COMPLIMENTS, SIR!

AND MY COMPLIMENTS TO YOU!

GOD SAVE THE KING.

GOD SAVE THE KING, AND TO HELL WITH THE REST!

OH.

WHAT WERE WE SAYING?

UH, I FORGET THE WORDS.

IT WAS WHAT YOUR EYES SAID.

THERE WAS NO MISTAKING THE MEANING THERE.

AND WHAT DID MY EYES SAY?

TRANSLATE FOR ME, MY DEAR.

WE HAVE NO NEED OF A TRANSLATOR.

WE SPEAK THE SAME TONGUE IN ALL THINGS AND HAVE THE SAME--

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

NINE BELLS. WIND'S BLOWING FROM THE NORTH!

OW! OOH! OW! OOH! OW! OOH! OOH! OW!

OW!

POURING WITH RAIN.

STINKING RAIN. I CAN'T SEE A BLA--

OH!

AAH!

[SPLASH]

OH!

BEGGING YOUR PARDON, CAPTAIN.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WAS SURVEYING THE BILGE FOR BARNACLES...

YOU BUNGLING CESSPIT OF INCOMPETENCE!

OH! OH!

GO AND PUT YOURSELF IN IRONS!

KEEL...

KEELHAUL YOURSELF!

BEGGING YOUR PARDON, CAPTAIN, AND THE LADY'S--

GO AND THROW YOURSELF IN A RIVER!

I JUST HAVE DONE.

WELL, DO IT AGAIN!

BUT IT'S RAINING.

OH, UGH!

[WHISTLE DOESN'T SOUND]

[WHISTLES]

[GIGGLING]

[CRASH]

[YELLING]

OH, DEAR! OH, DEAR.

I THINK WE'RE SINKING.

NO, NO. IT'S, UH...

IT'S JUST COME ADRIFT.

[WHISTLE]

WE ARE SINKING.

[YELLING]

ALL HANDS ON DECK AT THE DOUBLE!

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING BUT BLOW THAT BLASTED WHISTLE?

NO!

LET'S RUN.

MAKE FAST AND SHOW THESE FRESHWATER MUD PICKERS

THE KIND OF SEAMANSHIP THAT WE EXPECT ON THE, UH...

THE, UH...

SEA ANEMONE.

THANK YOU.

[WHISTLE]

AAH!

CHAIR! CHAIR!

I'M NOT SURE I HAVE THE FARE.

MY PURSE...ON THE SHIP.

I HAVE IT.

SHAME ON ME NOT TO TAKE YOU HOME IN STYLE.

LOVE.

9:00 IN THE EVENING.

NO.

NAY, I'LL GO ON NO LONGER.

IT SICKENS ME, THIS DECEIT.

SHE'S NOT A FOWL FOR THE PLUCKING.

MAKE THIS ONE MATCH,

AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO STEAL AGAIN.

WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER TONIGHT?

TO THE GARDENS AT RANELAGH.

DON'T SPARE THE WINE. OYSTERS ARE IN SEASON.

WARM HER WITH DANCING, THEN PUT THE QUESTION.

EXPENSES!

NAY, LAD, I CAN READ YOU LIKE THE FACE OF A CLOCK.

YOU THINK THE QUESTION'S BEST PUT

WHEN YOU'RE SNUG BETWEEN THE SHEETS.

YOU DRAW AWAY FROM THAT

OUT OF FAITHFULNESS TO ME.

DO I GUESS RIGHT?

OH, AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT!

BUT I'M A WOMAN OF THE WORLD,

AND TO SHOW I BEAR NO GRUDGE,

I'LL PREPARE MY OWN ROOM FOR YOU.

THERE YOU CAN ENJOY YOURSELVES

AS WELL AS MAN AND WOMAN CAN

WHO COME TOGETHER FOR CONVENIENCE.

WELL, JEMMY, WOULD YOU RATHER SLEEP UNDER HAYSTACKS?

WINTER IS COMING.

A RICH WIDOW WILL KEEP OUT THE DRAFTS.

COME ON, SQUINT.

RIGHT.

BACK TO WORK.

[FIREWORKS EXPLODE]

I THINK THEY'RE EXPECTING US TO JOIN THE DANCE, MILADY.

WHAT IS IT?

I WAS AFRAID.

OF A KISS?

OF A SECRET.

YOURS?

I HAVE A SECRET, TOO.

YOU HAVE?

IF I TELL MINE, WILL YOU TELL YOURS?

TELL ME YOURS FIRST.

WELL...

I'M NOT WHAT YOU TAKE ME FOR.

WHAT?

I'M NOT LADY BLYSTONE.

WHO ARE YOU, THEN?

I AM...

LADY BLYSTONE'S, UH, COMPANION.

WHAT'S IN A TITLE?

I'M JUST AS READY TO TAKE YOU AS PLAIN MISS.

MRS. I'M A WIDOW. THAT PART WAS TRUE.

SO LONG AS A MAN AND WOMAN CAN LIVE COMFORTABLY TOGETHER,

WHAT DO NAMES MATTER?

YES, BUT COMFORTABLY IS A WORD OF TWO MEANINGS.

I MEAN, BY FIRST THEY SHOULD NOT QUARREL,

AND SECONDLY, THEY SHOULD HAVE ENOUGH TO LIVE ON.

WE'LL HAVE THAT, WON'T WE?

WITH YOUR WEALTH, OF COURSE WE WILL.

OH, BUT I...

I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE ME FOR A PERSON OF FORTUNE.

YOU'RE JOKING OR TESTING MY INTENTIONS.

I WISH I WERE.

BUT YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH PEOPLE IN SOCIETY.

YOU--YOU DRESS LIKE...

I'VE SEEN A FOOTMAN OPEN THE DOOR TO YOU

AND BOW AS IF--

I'VE NAUGHT BUT 15 GUINEAS LEFT IN THE WORLD.

ODDS WOUNDS. YOU JADE.

YOU'VE GULLED ME.

OUT OF MY WAY!

NO!

ANYTHING I CAN DO?

NO!

PLEASE, LET ME THROUGH.

CAPTAIN.

CAPTAIN.

CAPTAIN. CAPTAIN, PLEASE.

CAPTAIN, I KNOW THAT I'M TO BLAME,

BUT TWAS DONE IN THE WAY OF A JOKE.

I NEVER TOLD YOU I WAS OTHER THAN I AM.

YOU LET ME BELIEVE...

THAT WAS YOUR OWN FANCY.

DID YOU DISABUSE ME? YOU TRICKED ME.

NO. YOU TRICKED YOURSELF.

RUINED. I'VE LAID OUT EVERY PENNY I OWN.

I BORROWED, SO I'LL BE IN DEBT FOR YEARS.

YOU...RUINED?

HIRING A CARRIAGE? DRESSING LIKE A LORD?

LIVERY, WINE, STABLES, OATS--

HIRING A WHOLE SHIP.

THE CARRIAGE WASN'T YOURS?

NO.

THE SHIP?

NO.

YOU'RE NOT A SEA CAPTAIN?

NO!

BUT YOUR ESTATES... IN VIRGINIA?

NEVER OWNED AN ACRE.

IN THE INDIES?

NOT A YARD.

IN IRELAND?

NOT AN INCH...

SAVE THE SIX FEET OF MY MOTHER'S GRAVE.

AND YOU SAY THAT I'VE TRICKED YOU.

YOU ROOKED ME FIRST.

I DID NOT.

YOU INTRODUCED YOURSELF AS A CAPTAIN.

NOT TILL YOU CURTSIED AS LADY BLYSTONE.

LIAR!

SHAM!

SWINDLER!

IMPOSTOR!

FORTUNE HUNTER!

SUCCUBUS!

VAMPIRE!

BLOODSUCKER!

COCKATRICE!

10,000 PLAGUES ON ALL WOMEN!

TURN IT OFF!

WE SHALL SEE EACH OTHER NO MORE,

SO LET US PART AS FRIENDS.

OW! OW!

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

STEALING HER HAT BOX AGAINST MY ORDERS.

DRAWING CONCLUSIONS FROM A LADY'S NAME.

LADY BLYSTONE! WHAT IS YOUR NAME ANYWAY?

MOLL FLANDERS, CAPTAIN MEREDITH.

IS MEREDITH YOUR NAME?

NO. IT'S JEMMY.

JEMMY.

THE OTHER'S BEST FORGOT.

I'VE BROUGHT NO HONOR TO IT.

WILL YOU STILL BE WANTING THE ROOM, CAPTAIN?

DON'T CALL ME CAPTAIN!

WHAT ROOM?

I HIRED A ROOM.

WHAT ROOM IS THIS?

I HIRED A ROOM WHERE WE COULD BE ALONE TOGETHER.

NOW THERE'S NO PURPOSE IN IT.

I WAS RAISED

WHAT THEY CALLED A GENTLEMAN.

I LEARNED TO LIVE HIGH,

WITHOUT THE MEANS TO DO IT.

MMM... AND GOT INTO DEBT.

FOUND NO WAY TO CLEAR YOURSELF.

I FOUND A WAY.

TWAS NOT TO MY LIKING.

WHAT WAY?

NAY. TELL ME MORE OF YOURSELF.

THEY SAY MY FATHER WAS HANGED.

MY MOTHER TRANSPORTED.

I WAS RAISED BY THE GYPSIES.

I SAW NOTHING BEFORE ME BUT BEING A DRUDGE,

SO I RESOLVED TO BETTER MYSELF BY MARRIAGE.

WE BOTH HAD THE SAME NOTION.

A PRETTY PASS IT'S LED US TO.

FOR NOW, MY HEART'S IN PAWN.

I DOUBT I'LL EVER REDEEM IT.

AND I'M £100 THE MORE IN DEBT.

I'VE NOT MUCH LEFT,

BUT...'TIS ALL YOURS,

EXCEPT THIS ONE.

IT'S MY ORPHANAGE SHILLING.

WHAT?

HE'S...

WHY?

IT'S LOVE, DUTCHY.

LOVE.

LO--

JEMMY?

JEMMY!

JEMMY!

"MY DEAR,

"I ASK YOUR PARDON.

"I AM THE MOST MISERABLE OF MEN.

"I HAVE BEEN SO HAPPY TO POSSESS YOU,

"AND AM NOW SO WRETCHED

"AS TO BE FORCED TO FLY FROM YOU.

"FORGIVE ME, MY DEAR.

ONCE MORE I SAY, FORGIVE ME."

OH, JEMMY...

COME BACK. COME BACK!

WILL YOUR LADYSHIP REQUIRE THE ROOM FOR ANOTHER NIGHT?

YOU CRY FOR THE LOSS OF WHAT YOU STOLE.

I'LL NOT WIPE YOUR TEARS FOR YOU.

NAY, BUT I'M WRONG TO BLAME YOU.

HE'S THE SORT OF MAN

THAT MAKES A SERVANT GIRL FORGET HER DUSTING

AND OPEN THE WINDOWS TO STARE

AS HE WALKS DOWN THE STREET.

YOU KNEW HIM, TOO?

IN THE WAY OF BUSINESS.

JEMMY.

OH, JEMMY.

WHY DID YOU GO AWAY FROM ME?

I HAD RIDDEN 15 MILES.

THE SUN WAS IN MY EYES AND A GALE BLOWING.

TWAS THAT PERHAPS PUT FANCIES IN MY HEAD.

WHAT FANCIES?

I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU CALL FOR ME.

WHAT DID I SAY?

YOU CRIED ALOUD...

"JEMMY, OH, JEMMY. COME BACK, COME BACK."

WHY, 'TIS A MARVEL PAST BELIEF,

FOR THOSE WERE MY WORDS.

OH, YOU SHALL GO AWAY FROM ME NO MORE.

I'LL GO ALL OVER THE WORLD WITH YOU RATHER.

THERE'S...SOMETHING I CANNOT SPEAK OF.

ONE DAY PERHAPS WE'LL MAKE OUR FORTUNES,

AND WE'LL MARRY FOR MONEY

LIKE WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE WOULD.

I CAME BY A POUND OR TWO.

DEBTS REPAID.

'TIS LITTLE.

JEMMY.

[BELL RINGING]

AH, THERE YOU ARE, MOLL.

THANK YOU, DEAR.

CRYING FOR YOUR CAPTAIN?

POOR GIRL, TO LEARN SO YOUNG THAT MEN DECEIVE.

YOU'RE BETTER OFF IN THE HOUSE THAN GADDING ABOUT TOWN.

TOMORROW YOU CAN SHINE THE MIRRORS

AND WASH THE LUSTERS.

NOW GO GET ME MY GLOVES.

YES, I HAVE THEM HERE.

WILL YOU BE LATE, MILADY?

YOU NEEDN'T WAIT UP. I HAVE MY KEY.

GOODBYE, MIGGY.

[FOOTSTEPS]

GOODBYE, MY LOVE.

ENJOY YOUR BALL AND GATHER ME SOME GOSSIP.

HMM. I'M SO SORRY TO LEAVE YOU ALONE.

COACHMAN, STOP. STOP!

WHOA!

COACHMAN?

[TAPPING]

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

A RAT! A RAT AS BIG AS A CAT!

AH...

ONE CANDLE...

TO LIGHT SO MUCH BEAUTY.

THE LESS I SEE OF MYSELF TONIGHT, SIR,

THE MORE I'LL BE PLEASED.

I'M NO FIT SIGHT FOR MYSELF OR ANYONE ELSE.

WHERE HAVE I BEEN NEVER TO SET MY EYES

ON THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD.

PLEASE, I'M TIRED, AND I WISH TO GO TO BED.

A RAT!

ECCO! ECCO!

AAH!

ECCO!

[CRASH]

TOUCHE.

OHH!

OHH! OHH!

OHH!

[GROANS]

WHAT IS IT, SIR?

A BOTTLE...

A GREEN BOTTLE BESIDE MY BED.

RUN, CHILD.

RUN!

[SINGING SANTA LUCIA]

AAH!

HERE.

JUST IN TIME.

AN OLD WOUND BENEATH MY HEART.

WERE YOU IN THE WAR?

NO. A DUEL. WOMEN.

WOMEN.

WHERE?

LOOK, LOOK.

AAH!

NAUGHTY.

YOU--!

NAUGHTY.

STAND BACK. GET BACK. GO AWAY!

NAUGHTY. NAUGHTY.

OOH, YOU BEAST! YOU BEAST!

EN GARDE!

HA HA HA!

BRAVO! HA HA HA!

AH...AH...

AH-CHOO!

FORCE THE DOOR, TIPSTAFF!

OPEN UP, THERE!

OH! OH, DEAR.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

SEIZE HIM!

MILADY?

DEVIL! LUSTFUL MONSTER!

SEE WHAT SORT OF WOMEN YOU CAN FIND--

WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE.

GO AND GET HIM, YOU IDIOT.

THERE. AND YOU,

YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME.

YOU HAVE BETRAYED MY FRIENDSHIP

AND ABUSED MY TRUST.

OH, BE GONE, TROLLOP.

I NEVER WANT TO SET EYES ON YOU AGAIN!

ONCE BEFORE, I HAD TRIED TO RETURN THIS RING

TO MY FRIEND THE BANKER.

FRIEND?

IT WAS A SOMEWHAT CLOSER RELATIONSHIP.

AND YET...

I WAS DOUBTFUL HOW HE WOULD RECEIVE ME NOW.

MADAM.

AH, YES, OF COURSE.

YOU MUST FORGIVE ME.

I'VE COME BACK FROM THE GRAVE.

I NEVER THOUGHT TO SEE YOU OR THE WORLD AGAIN.

I CAME TO RETURN YOUR RING, SIR.

I CAME ONCE BEFORE, BUT...

I HOPE YOU'RE RECOVERED.

MMM. BUT CONDEMNED TO AN ALTERED WAY OF LIFE.

I'M FORBIDDEN COMPANY AND PLEASURE

AND CONDEMNED TO... NEEDLEWORK!

WHAT'S THE RESULT? FOUR BOTTLES OF PORT A DAY

TO MAKE MY SOLITUDE BEARABLE, AND NOW I'VE GOT THE GOUT.

BY HEAVENS, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU.

I UNDERSTOOD, SIR,

YOU'VE BEEN REPENTING YOUR SINS.

THE APOPLEXY THREW ME INTO A FRIGHT.

BUT NOW YOU'RE CURED, SIR.

I FIND THE REPENTANCE IS CURED ALSO.

I THINK, SIR,

YOU'LL NEVER MAKE YOURSELF A SAINT.

YOU'RE PERFECTLY RIGHT.

YOU HAVE EVERY REASON TO REPROACH ME

FOR MY WAY OF LIFE.

I'M A MONUMENT TO THE FOLLIES OF VICE,

A MEMENTO OF THE SNARES OF PLEASURE.

AND FROM ALL THIS,

FROM THE BURNING, FIERY FURNACE

AND THE STINKING PIT, ONLY YOU CAN SAVE ME.

ME? BUT HOW?

THUS!

OOH, SIR!

BOATMAN.

YES, SIR?

CAN YOU ROW THE BOAT FACING THE OTHER WAY?

WHOA! WHOA!

AH. COUNTRY AIR TO BRING PINK TO THE CHEEKS.

SWALLOWS FLYING HIGH.

A GOOD OMEN FOR OUR HONEYMOON.

IS OUR ROOM READY?

IT'S BEEN READY SINCE NOON.

IS THE PARSON READY?

HE'S BEEN IN THE TAPROOM ALL DAY, SIR.

YOU MIGHT SAY HE'S READY.

AH!

[HUMMING]

COME ON, PARSON, YOU SWEET-SMELLING OLD FELLOW.

DOWN YOUR DRINK AND GET TO BUSINESS.

WE HAVE THE BRIDE, GROOM, AND YOUR WITNESS.

YOU HAVE THE RING, SON?

ME, NOT HIM, YOU FOOL! I'M THE GROOM.

HE'S THE WITNESS, AND THIS IS THE RING.

LANDLORD, HAVE YOU A BOOK OF COMMON PRAYER?

COME ON, FELLOW,

SURELY YOU KNOW YOUR PARSON'S GABBLE BY NOW.

AHEM. "MAN THAT IS BORN OF WOMAN

HATH BUT A SHORT TIME TO LIVE--"

NOT THE BURIAL SERVICE, YOU POXY OLD GOAT!

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.

AH, WEDLOCK!

WEDLOCK IT IS TO BE.

COME ON NOW, REVEREND.

COME ON.

DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE

IN THE SIGHT OF GOD

AND IN THE FACE OF THIS CONGREGA-- CONGREGATION...

OUT! GET ALONG. HURRY, WILL YOU?

OH, THAT ALL YOUNG GIRLS WHO WATCH THIS SCENE

WOULD LEARN ONE LESSON--

WEALTH AND POSITION AND COMFORT BY DAY

WILL NOT MAKE UP FOR INSINCERITY AT NIGHT.

HA HA! WE'RE AT IT AGAIN!

[CHURCH BELLS RING]

OW!

WHAT THE--

NOW THEN...

HA HA HA!

I'M TICKLISH.

[HORSES APPROACH]

EVERY TIME.

IS THERE A CONSPIRACY AGAINST CONSUMMATION OUT THERE?

COME BACK TO BED, MY DEAR.

COME, COME, MY DEAR.

YOU'LL CATCH YOUR DEATH OF COLD.

BY GOD, ARE WE TO HAVE NO PEACE TONIGHT?

WHAT'S TOWARD? HAVE YOU NO BEDS TO GO TO?

A ROBBERY ON THE HEATH.

HAVE YOU SEEN TWO MASKED HORSEMEN?

A YOUNG ONE AND A STOUT ONE?

I SAW TWO HORSEMEN, SIR.

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY, MA'AM?

IT WAS DARK, AND I COULDN'T SEE VERY WELL,

BUT THEY TOOK THAT ROAD.

THANK YOU, MA'AM.

WRONG TRACK. WE'LL TRY THE CANTERBURY ROAD.

COME ON, COME ON!

COME ON.

JEMMY.

OH, DO COME BACK, MOLL.

OH, COME ON, MOLL, I'M WAITING.

AH...

THERE YOU ARE.

MOLL! MOLL!

GO BACK THE WAY WE CAME.

JEMMY!

JEMMY!

JEMMY!

JEMMY!

STOP, JEMMY!

MOLL. MOLL.

[HORSES APPROACHING]

OFFICER... APPREHEND THOSE MEN

AND RECOVER THE PERSON OF MY BRIDE,

WHO WAS ENTICED AWAY, AND IN THAT DIRECTION.

FOR YOUR WARM ASSISTANCE, SIR, THANK YOU, SIR.

COME ON! RIDE ON!

RIDE ON! AT 'EM!

GET IN THERE BEHIND THE TREES. I'LL TAKE 'EM AWAY.

SEE YOU IN LONDON THEN.

THEY MUST BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

TWO MEN-- YOU AND YOU-- UP THAT WAY.

THERE'S OUR FOX!

COME ON!

HOLD ON!

NOW WHERE'S THE DEVIL GONE NOW?

TALLY HO!

AAH!

WELL, DAMN YOU, SIR!

AT YOUR SERVICE, SIR.

NO, CHILD, NO.

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR CAPTAIN

SINCE THE NIGHT YOU SLEPT HERE.

OH.

YES?

I CAME TO ASK IF YOU COULD RECOMMEND ME TO ANY EMPLOYMENT.

I, RECOMMEND YOU? YOUR FACE AND FIGURE DO THAT.

NO GENTLEMAN WOULD REFUSE TO EMPLOY YOU.

I'M NOT A WHORE, MA'AM.

DON'T SAY THAT TOO SOON.

THOUGH SOMETIMES AN APPARENT MODESTY

SELLS THE GOODS TO A HIGHER BIDDER.

WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?

I WANT...

I NEED TO MAKE MY FORTUNE.

MAKE YOUR FORTUNE.

IF YOU WON'T MAKE IT IN BED,

THEN WORK WITH YOUR FINGERS.

YOU MEAN I SHOULD SEW?

DEAL.

DEAL IN WHAT GOODS?

SILVER.

THOUGH IF IT'S A FORTUNE YOU WANT,

THAT'S QUICKER MADE WITH GOLD.

MA'AM, I UNDERSTAND YOU.

AND I DO NOT LIKE YOUR MEANING.

SEE HOW FAR YOU GET WITH HONEST LABOR!

MISS, YOU, UH...

THANK YOU, MA'AM. THE KNOT MUST HAVE BROKEN.

OH, LET NONE WATCH THIS SCENE

WITHOUT THINKING HOW THEY WOULD GRAPPLE

WITH THE LACK OF FRIENDS AND THE WANT OF BREAD.

LET THEM REMEMBER THE WISE MAN'S PRAYER--

"GIVE ME NOT POVERTY, LEST I STEAL."

THIS WAS THE BAIT,

AND THE DEVIL WHO LAID THE SNARE PROMPTED ME.

TAKE THE BUNDLE.

NOW!

WHAT HAD I DONE?

WHAT WAS I NOW?

A CHRISTENING SET. GRUNT!

I HOPE YOUR FRIEND DIDN'T LOSE THE CHILD,

AS SHE'S SELLING THESE THINGS.

TRY TO GET SILVER WITHOUT INITIALS.

FETCHES A BETTER PRICE.

YOU'VE NOT SEEN JEMMY AGAIN SINCE I LAST ASKED YOU?

14 SHILLINGS, SWEETHEART. CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

COULD YOU... HOLD HALF THE MONEY?

I'D LIKE TO SAVE IT.

GLADLY, MY DEAR. I'LL MARK IT DOWN IN THE LEDGER.

GOOD DAY.

IN OUR BUSINESS, MY DEAR, WE MUST MAKE SURE

THAT SUCCESS DOES NOT LEAD TO FAME.

SO FOR YOUR NEXT ADVENTURE,

NO GENTLEMAN MUST LOOK AT YOU TWICE.

COME ALONG.

SIT DOWN.

TRY ON THAT BROWN WIG ON THE WALL.

NOW THEN...

NOT A BAD HAUL,

CONSIDERING THE RICH ARE OUT OF TOWN.

I WANT HALF IN MY ACCOUNT. I'M SAVING.

WHY, JEMMY, WHAT'S GOT--

[DOOR CLOSES]

[FOOTSTEPS]

HA HA HA!

THAT'LL BE ALL, MRS. O'TOOLE.

THANK YOU. THAT'LL BE ALL.

GOOD EVENING, LADIES.

HERE.

GOOD EVENING, SIR.

COACHMAN, TO THE PARK...

SLOWLY.

YOU TANTALIZING CREATURE, YOU.

MMM...

[COUGHS]

DARLING...

I'M VERY LATE, YOU KNOW, SIR. COACHMAN, STOP, PLEASE.

NO, NO, NO, SURELY, YOU--

BUENAS NOCHES, SEñOR.

AND A NOBLEMAN, TOO.

'TIS 10-TO-1 HE HAS AN HONEST, VIRTUOUS WIFE

AND INNOCENT CHILDREN.

THIS DEED OF YOURS WILL DO MORE TO REFORM HIM

THAN ALL THE SERMONS AT ST. PAUL'S,

FOR IN OUR BUSINESS, WE DO A LOT OF GOOD--

TEACHING PEOPLE TO MIND THEIR MORALS

AND GUARD THEIR POSSESSIONS.

YOU... JEMMY HASN'T...

4 AND 11 IS 15.

NOW, I'VE BEEN CONSIDERING

YOUR POSITION IN THE TRADE, DEAR.

IT'S NOT WISE TO STICK TO THE SAME BUSINESS

AND AT THE SAME PLACES FOR TOO LONG.

BROCADE WILL FETCH AS MUCH AS A GENTLEMAN'S WATCH.

BROCADE?

AND A GOOD ROLL OF LACE EVEN MORE.

GRUNT!

I'D BE AFRAID TO WORK AT A SHOP.

THEY HAVE EYES ON YOU WHEN YOU ENTER THE DOOR.

LOOK.

GRUNT, TO WORK.

OH, YES.

GOOD DAY, SIR.

GOOD DAY, MA'AM.

I'M LOOKING FOR SOME FINE RED VELVET.

AH, THERE'S A HANDSOME PIECE.

NO, I'M AFRAID TOO COARSE. SOME OTHER TIME.

GOOD DAY, SIR.

GOOD DAY, MA'AM.

ALL RIGHT, THEN. I'LL CATCH YOU.

NO, YOU WON'T.

POOR SOULS. THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY TO NEWGATE.

POOR SOULS INDEED. IT SERVES THEM RIGHT.

I HOPE THEY HANG. THEY'RE ONLY THIEVES ANYWAY.

THAT'S OLD BLUE NOSE CHARLIE.

ENOUGH. ENOUGH.

THE JEWELER'S SHOP. CAN YOU SEE THE WINDOW?

YES.

BOTTOM PANE IN THE MIDDLE, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

YOU SEE THE CLOCK?

CLOCK?

UP THERE. ALL RIGHT. NEVER MIND.

IN 12 1/2 MINUTES, THE CLOCK WILL STRIKE 1:00.

YOU'LL BE HOLDING YOUR HORSE OUTSIDE THE JEWELER'S SHOP.

WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 1:00, YOU THROW THE BRICK, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

BOTTOM PANE. MIDDLE OF THE JEWELER'S WINDOW.

RIGHT. THE BOTTOM PANE.

I'LL DO THE SNATCH AND RUN TO MY HORSE.

I RIDE THAT WAY, YOU RIDE THAT WAY.

WHAT IF I DON'T HEAR THE CLOCK?

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE DEAF AS WELL.

WHY DON'T WE MAKE IT 2:00?

THEN, IF I MISS THE FIRST, I'LL HEAR THE SECOND.

LET'S MAKE IT 3:00.

YES. THEN IF I MISS THE FIRST AND THE SECOND...

DEAF AS A BLOODY POST, RIGHT? COME ON.

RIGHT.

[SPLASH]

HERE'S THE BRICK.

GOOD. COME ON.

WHILE I'M HERE, CAN I, UH...

NO.

OH.

THANKS, LAD.

COUNT TO 100 AND THEN MOVE.

HOW FAST?

AT A WALK.

HOW FAST DO I COUNT?

AS FAST AS YOUR HEART BEATS.

IT'S GALLOPING.

START COUNTING NOW.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,

9, 10, 11...

A NICE HANGING AT TYBURN.

BUY A DOLL FOR YOUR LITTLE ONE, SIR?

50, 51, 52, 53,

54, 55, 56...

LET'S HAVE A DRINK.

WE'LL PICK UP THOSE OTHER PRISONERS LATER.

NO, NO. SOMETHING MUCH FINER.

SOMETHING MORE PRECIOUS. SOMETHING FIT FOR A QUEEN.

A QUEEN. OH, LET ME SEE.

[CHIMING]

99, 100.

[DOG BARKS]

WHERE IS IT? WHERE ARE THEY?

AH.

AAH! AAH!

IS THAT YOU? GOOD HORSE.

AAH! STOP! STOP!

GIVE ME YOUR BAG.

GIVE IT TO ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

STOP HER! STOP HER!

HERE, YOU!

KID!

STOP HIM!

HEY! HEY!

SQUINT, HOLD ON!

GIDDYUP! GIDDYUP!

WHOA. WHOA!

WHOA!

WHO WOULD WANT A THING LIKE THAT

EXCEPT THE LORD CHIEF JUSTICE?

THAT BLIND HALF-WIT.

HEY.

THERE'S SOMETHING INSIDE COULD BE SOLD,

AND IT WOULDN'T BE DIFFICULT TO FIND A BUYER.

GRUNT?

MOLL.

OH, JEMMY.

THERE'S THE RUINATION

OF THE FINEST PAIR OF THIEVES IN TOWN.

RUN!

AAH!

SOLDIERS! LOOK OUT!

THERE THEY ARE. COME ON. GET 'EM.

BREAK THAT DOOR DOWN.

GET AWAY!

THERE SHE IS. DON'T LET HER GET AWAY.

IT'S NOT HER YOU WANT.

IT'S ME. SHE'S NO THIEF.

GET OFF. LET GO OF HIM.

HELP ME! HELP ME!

AAH! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!

AAH!

WE'VE STARVED TOGETHER,

STOLE TOGETHER, SPENT TOGETHER.

NOW WE'LL HANG TOGETHER.

WHEN WILL IT BE?

THEY PUT A LIST UP ON MONDAYS.

WHY DON'T THEY DO IT QUICK,

DO IT STRAIGHT AWAY?

JEMMY.

HERE. TAKE THIS.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLY LODGED?

A GENTLEMAN OF THE ROAD

GETS USED TO ROUGH QUARTERS.

TWO CHEATS.

FOR A NIGHT, TWO LOVERS,

AND NOW TWO THIEVES.

WHO DID THAT?

JEMMY!

ALL RIGHT!

GO ON. GET IN THERE.

WHAT NEWS?

WHAT NEWS?

EVERYWHERE THE SAME TALE.

NOTHING CAN BE DONE WITHOUT MONEY.

YOU PUT ME IN HERE. YOU MUST GET ME OUT.

CHEESE? IT DISTURBS MY LIVER.

I'LL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE IN DEBTORS' JAIL

FOR JUST A FEW WEEKS.

BUT YOU WERE DEALING IN CONTRABAND.

CONTRABAND? A FEW DOZEN BOTTLES OF HOLLAND'S GIN.

OH, WHAT A COUNTRY.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

HAVE YOU SEEN MY AMBASSADOR?

YES. HE COULD DO NOTHING.

GET ME OUT OF THIS HOLE.

AND ONE MORE THING-- DON'T BRING CHEESE.

♪ TWAS IN THE CITY OF LONDON ♪

"NAUGHT AWAITS THE SINNER

"BUT THE BOTTOMLESS PIT

"AND THE BOILING BRIMSTONE.

REPENT AND YE SHALL BE SAVED."

SAVED FROM WHAT?

YOUR SOUL SHALL BE SAVED.

IT'S MY NECK I WANT SAVED.

♪ I WENT STROLLING ♪

♪ DOWN ON MY FAVORITE STREET ♪

♪ A PRETTY LITTLE YOUNG MAIDEN ♪

♪ I HAPPENED BY MERE CHANCE TO MEET ♪♪

WHAT'S IT SAY?

I'LL NOT LIE TO YOU.

WHAT'S TODAY?

MONDAY.

OH. THERE IS A MISTAKE.

THEY HAVE THE WRONG NAME.

TELL THAT TO THE HANGMAN.

MY POOR FRIEND.

I AM A GOOD CATHOLIC.

I SHALL WRITE TO THE POPE.

YOU...AH.

YES.

I CAN'T READ. ARE I ON IT?

TELL ME, SWEETHEART. ARE I ON IT?

IS ME NAME THERE?

"MARI LA JOURE.

"SARAH MATT.

"MAGGIE MANT.

"JANE FOLLY.

"ALICE HOLLAND.

"ANNIE HUGHES.

"MOLL FLANDERS.

"BERTHA SMITH.

EMMA MARTIN..."

THOSE WHO HAVE ENJOYED

THE WICKED PART OF MY STORY

WOULD RATHER PERHAPS I LEFT THE GOOD PART OUT.

BUT CAN THEY BE THOUGHT TO RELISH MY SINS AND MY CRIMES

AND FIND MY REPENTANCE TEDIOUS?

WOULD THEY RATHER THIS STORY WERE A COMPLETE TRAGEDY?

I WILL HURRY OVER

THE INSTRUCTIVE DETAILS OF MY CONVERSION

AND COME TO WHAT I BELIEVED

WAS THE LAST DAY OF MY LIFE.

UNDER THE AWFUL THREAT OF THE GALLOWS,

I HAD COME TO SINCERE REPENTANCE.

IT WOULD CERTAINLY HAVE LASTED, I THINK,

UNTIL THE FRIDAY.

BUT...ON THURSDAY,

THE VERY DAY BEFORE I WAS TO BE HANGED...

BUT I'VE TRIED. I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING.

TRY, TRY HARDER.

BUT IT'S HOPELESS, MIGGY.

THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE NOW.

ONE LAST CHANCE.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

MAN THE CAPSTAN!

LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT.

LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT.

HORNPIPE!

ADMIRAL FITZHAFFEDEN, GOVERNOR OF NEWGATE,

WELCOMES ON BEHALF OF THE BOARD OF GUARDIANS,

HIS WORSHIP, THE LORD MAYOR OF LONDON.

HOW ARE YOU, GEORGE?

A FINE NAUTICAL WELCOME.

I SEE YOU STILL RUN YOUR JAIL LIKE A MAN-O-WAR.

LIKE A FLAGSHIP, MY LORD MAYOR.

FALL IN ASTERN.

WE LEAD THIS FLEET OF LOST SOULS

TOWARDS THE SHORES OF REDEMPTION.

AMEN.

SHUT UP.

THE YARD, MY LORD MAYOR, WHERE THE PRISONERS

HAVE THE BENEFIT OF HEALTHY EXERCISE

AND THE BLESSING OF FRESH AIR.

THE, UH, PUMP.

THE PUMP.

WHICH DOCTOR WILL TELL YOU

GIVES AN AMPLE SUPPLY OF WHOLESOME WATER.

MMM.

SPEAK UP, MAN.

RICH IN MINERAL SALTS

AND OTHER HEALTH-GIVING ELEMENTS.

AND THE DIET OF THE PRISONERS, DOCTOR?

OH, WE SEND THEM TO THE SCAFFOLD PLUMP AS PULLETS.

THAT'S ENOUGH, MAN.

TO OUR RIGHT, THE MEN'S QUARTERS.

AND TO OUR LEFT, THE FEMALE QUARTERS.

OH, MY LORD MAYOR. DEAR, GOOD SIR,

I PLEAD FOR A PRISONER OF NOBLE BIRTH,

MOST MONSTROUSLY SENTENCED TO BE HANGED.

NAY, MY GOOD WOMAN. THIS IS NOT A COURT OF APPEAL.

PRAY TAKE THE COMPLAINT TO THE PROPER QUARTER.

HERE ARE THE COMMODIOUS PREMISES

DESIGNED FOR THE RECEPTION OF OUR WOMEN.

WILLIAM. OH, WILLIAM.

SARAH.

USE YOUR INFLUENCE

FOR ONE MOST UNJUSTLY BETRAYED AND CONDEMNED.

I'M BUT A MEMBER OF THE BOARD OF GOVERNORS.

PRAY TO THE GOOD LORD FOR HIS DELIVERANCE

AND GET HIM A GOOD LAWYER.

WHY, WILLIAM.

MAGGIE, HOW NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

YOU OUGHT TO COME HERE MORE OFTEN.

GET US OUT OF HERE.

AND THIS, MY LORD MAYOR, IS THE CONDEMNED HOLD.

THESE UNHAPPY CREATURES ARE TO HANG TOMORROW.

LET US HOPE THEY HAVE REPENTED OF THEIR SINS.

AMEN.

QUIET!

IN ONE CASE, A MOST STRIKING ACHIEVEMENT HAS BEEN MADE

BY WAY OF REPENTANCE.

UH, MOLL FLANDERS.

SHE'S HAD PLENTY TO REPENT ABOUT.

I'LL TELL YOU, I WOULDN'T MIND REPENTING WITH HER.

BUT, WILLIAM, PLEASE.

MOLL. MOLL.

MY WIFE.

[GASP]

HELP!

WILLIAM.

HE'S ALL YOURS, PARSON.

NOW, MY LORD MAYOR, AS I WAS SAYING...

OH, YES, ADMIRAL.

THE, UH...

♪ HER EYES ♪

♪ THEY SHONE LIKE EMERALDS ♪

♪ HER EYES ♪

♪ THEY SHONE LIKE EMERALDS ♪

♪ THEY CALL HER THE FAIREST OF FAIR ♪

♪ AND THE BLACK VELVET BAND SHE WAS WEARING ♪

♪ WAS TIED IN HER RED GOLDEN HAIR ♪

YEAH.

♪ HER EYES ♪

♪ THEY SHONE LIKE EMERALDS ♪

♪ THEY CALL HER THE FAIREST OF FAIR ♪

♪ AND THE BLACK VELVET BAND SHE WAS WEARING ♪

♪ WAS TIED IN HER RED GOLDEN HAIR ♪♪

COME ON. WAKE UP, SWEETHEART.

NO. 'TIS NOT TIME.

MOLL!

MOLL!

GET IN THERE.

COME IN, GIRL.

OUT, GUARDS! OUT!

COME ALONG IN, DEAR.

YOU ARE KNOWN AS MOLL FLANDERS?

SIGN THERE.

ASK NO QUESTIONS.

THERE IS LITTLE TIME.

CAN YOU SIGN YOUR NAME, GIRL?

YES.

THEN DO SO.

BOTH NAMES THERE AND THERE.

BOTH NAMES?

AS THE WIDOW OF SIR WILLIAM,

TO WHOM YOU WERE LAWFULLY MARRIED,

YOUR TRUE NAME IS LADY GODOLPHIN.

SO KINDLY SIGN MOLL GODOLPHIN

THERE WHERE I'VE INDICATED.

UNDER EXPECTATIONS

OF AN INHERITANCE OF 50,000 POUNDS,

YOU ARE BORROWING A THOUSAND AT INTEREST.

YOUR LATE HUSBAND DIED WITHOUT MAKING A WILL.

YOU ARE HIS SOLE BENEFICIARY, LADY GODOLPHIN.

FOR 500 POUNDS, YOU MAY BUY A REPRIEVE.

YOUR SENTENCE WILL BE REDUCED

TO TRANSPORTATION TO AMERICA.

I WILL SEE THAT THE MONEY GETS TO THE PROPER PERSON.

[GRUNTING]

♪ RULE, BRITANNIA... ♪♪

ALL I ASK IN RETURN

IS THAT YOU LEND ME A LIKE AMOUNT

TO SECURE THE REPRIEVE OF THE COUNT.

I...

I WISH TO BORROW 5,000 POUNDS.

FOR WHAT?

TO BUY THE REPRIEVES FOR SEVERAL OTHER PERSONS.

ANY MORE REPRIEVES WILL COST A THOUSAND EACH...

GUINEAS.

750.

800.

POUNDS.

DONE.

AND 500 MORE FOR MY OWN POCKET

TO GET STARTED IN AMERICA.

DAMNED IF I KNOW WHY YOU WANT TO GO THERE.

I'D RATHER BE HANGED.

♪ RULE, BRITANNIA ♪♪

EXCUSE ME, MADAM. I'M NO CONVICT

AND HAVE THE PRECEDENCE OF A VOLUNTARY PASSENGER.

STRIKE OFF THESE IGNOBLE CHAINS

THAT ONLY INJUSTICE COULD HAVE FORGED.

WHERE HAVE I BEEN AND NEVER TO HAVE SET MY EYES

ON THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD?

ON SECOND THOUGHT, NO.

LEAVE THE LAST CHAIN ON.

COME ALONG, MIGGY, DEAR.

BUT, DARLING...

"I, JAMES, TAKE THEE, MOLL,

TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE..."

I, JAMES,

TAKE THEE, MOLL, TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE...

"TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

FROM THIS DAY FORWARD..."

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD...

FROM THIS DAY FORWARD...

"FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE,

"FOR RICHER, FOR POORER.

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH..."

FOR BETTER,

FOR WORSE...

FOR RICHER,

FOR POORER...

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH...

"TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH,

TILL DEATH DO US PART..."

TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH...

OOPS. I'M SO SORRY.

TILL DEATH DO US PART...

[BELL RINGS]

[RING]

"ACCORDING TO GOD'S HOLY ORDINANCE,

AND THERETO I PLIGHT THEE MY TROTH."

ACCORDING TO GOD'S HOLY ORDINANCE...

AND THERETO I PLIGHT THEE MY TROTH.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WATCH--ER...

MAN--MAN AND WIFE.

'TIS USUAL TO PAY A PARSON FOR A WEDDING.

DOES A CAPTAIN ACCEPT A FEE?

WELL, YOU CAN GIVE ME A SHILLING FOR LUCK.

I HAVE IT.

I SHAN'T NEED THIS ANYMORE.

WHO SAID I WAS DECEIVED

WHEN I MARRIED A GIRL FOR HER MONEY?

I MARRIED A FORTUNE.

AND A VERY GOOD FORTUNE, TOO.

JUST A MOMENT.

JUST A MOMENT. JUST A MOMENT.

ARE YOU ACCUSING ME, SIR?

I HAVE NOTHING IN MY POCKETS.

I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HURT IN ALL MY LIFE.

AHEM.