Original subtitles

Sometimes, when everything's ticking like clockwork, life feels like you're

montage sequence.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank

you.

Come on, Melissa.

It's game time.

Relax. It's just a preseason friendly. You'll be chill.

Well, I heard that there's a bunch of under -21s joining this year and their

cardio is out the gate.

Ellie, Hobby Horse Roller Derby isn't about cardio.

It's about trusting your horse when there's a gap and going for it.

Let's show these rookies where they're going to stick their cardio.

Me!

And then you end up in hospital?

And it's like you're starring in a Korean drama.

Henry, it's great.

Like the detail, the science, the hard logistical technical stuff around how

time travel actually works.

Brilliant. And surprisingly readable.

But it's just... What?

Well, I just kind of don't care.

What? Look, this whole premise of a writer trying to invent time travel just

we can write a best -selling time travel book, like, that's all fine and cute as

a 30 -second elevator pitch to a publisher when you're trying to get them

board, but it's like an eight -and -a -half -hour -long, 355 -page reading

experience. Like, I just need more.

No. Henry.

No. Henry.

No, look, I'm not doing that corny thing where the protagonist has to invent

time travel to fix some mistake from the past.

It's cliche.

Henry, that is literally the only reason we care about time travel stories.

I'm just saying, like, what if your partner gets sick and you could have

there to stop it and you just... Hello?

What?

Where?

Melissa?

What happened?

I'm fine.

Are you sure? It looks kind of bad. I said I'm fine.

The only reason I'm still here is because the pussy doctor is too much of

pussy to discharge me because he's too busy being Dr. Pussy.

Actually, my name's Dr. Casey, and I'm not being a pussy.

Melissa's just being monitored because this is her third potential concussion

the last 18 months.

Whoa. The good news is the brain scan looks good.

The bad news is we still have to keep you overnight just to make sure. Yeah,

because you're too much of a pussy. Like those anxiety ridden Xanax popping kids

from the Freeman's Bay folk. I think they know how to hobby whore. We really

shouldn't joke about teen anxiety. It's a global health crisis. Yeah?

Well, maybe they shouldn't have chickened out on the last chicane. If I

on my period, I would have totally have sliced through them. That sounds like it

would have been spectacular.

It's just, your records show that you've also fractured a hip, a rib, and a

shoulder all in the same 18 months. You know this stuff can really catch up to

you. I'm talking early onset of arthritis, acute amnesia, even

which could lead to complications during pregnancy. Are you saying I look

pregnant? It'd be good for us if you did.

I'm just saying, maybe it might be worth thinking about going down a level.

Maybe joining the recreational division.

Oh, you took that back! Look, we appreciate the concern, but Melissa

enter the rink for recreation.

I'll let you two figure it out.

Thanks. Pussy!

So, um, I bought you a change of clothes and some toiletries in case you wanted

to take a shower.

There's also a laptop and some DVD.

Wi -Fi is pretty bad.

Thanks. Are you hungry?

I bought some snacks, but I didn't have time. Oh, my God. This is so cute.

It's like a K -drama.

What if in the morning she wakes up with mild amnesia and Henry has to hand

-feed her just to jog her memory?

Huh?

Nuguseo?

Nani? Ow!

What the... Nani's Japanese, you idiot.

Can you two stop jinxing me? I'm right here.

God, I hate Kate Drummond.

Uh, where are you going?

To take a shower.

Is that okay?

Uh, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah.

Um, do you want some help?

Or go yourself. It's just a wee concussion.

Thanks.

Sorry. Did you want to grab, like, we could grab you. We'll get more of these.

Yep. Yep.

I thought I said I'd be fine.

I played along.

So you keep secrets from me now?

You upset?

Too bad.

I'm sorry about acting all weird earlier.

I kind of got outskated today by some under -21 -year -olds and it freaked me

out. To quote Cougar from Top Gun, maybe I've lost the edge.

To quote Rooster from the new Top Gun, it's not the plane, it's the pilot.

We'll get them back.

Thanks.

And thanks for everything.

Hey, I put an offer in on that house and I'm 80 % sure it's because it had

potential and not because I was concussed.

I know.

You text me like ten times.

I think the doctor's right. Maybe you are a little concussed.

Maybe the over -35s recreational division isn't so bad after all.

Thank you.

I am not ready to skate with those soccer mums just yet, okay?

Can you imagine?

Um, yeah, sort of.

I mean, why? Can't you?

Yeah, like maybe ten years ago when I thought I'd be one by now.

Same.

I mean, not a soccer mum per se, but, you know.

Should we, um, watch a DVD?

Uh, yeah, um, sure.

Good idea, yeah.

Henry, what are these?

Okay, I swear to God I picked these out at random.

Do you know, knocked up, Mrs... Cheaper by the Dozen? Henry, have you been

watching these? No.

Okay, yeah, but only because I was bonding with the e -baby to help with my

writing. We are not supposed to be catching baby fever here, remember?

I'm not. Then why are you binge -watching parenthood movies with an

tamagotchi? I told you, it's for my writing.

Henry,

this is not an accident.

Accident? It's an accident.

Melissa, you're not sure?

Baby, it's good.

Mom, I've already told you I'm at four weeks. I could get hit by a truck and

I'll still be fine. What?

Doctor,

doctor, I'm a little bit run over by a truck.

Henry, I need you to get them out of here.

I don't care how. I've just put an offer on a house they cannot find an outcome

about. I can't. I'll be there. Please.

She's pregnant!

Please come check the baby, the baby, okay?

We didn't have every single scan. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Pregnant? Yeah. Oh.

Yeah.

That's weird.

You said you were on your... Pregnancy supplements.

Yeah, yeah.

Those pregnancy supplements really mess with my performance in the rink.

Must be all the bloating.

You didn't know?

She didn't tell you this? Look, I think it's best if we gave Melissa and her

doctor some space to clarify the situation.

Why don't we go outside and let the professionals handle it, huh? Doctor,

get an ultrasound with the cardiac scan? Doctor, there's one called phytal

alcohol? Phytal alcohol, yeah.

No,

phytal alcohol.

40 scans. 40 scans. That's better. Let's get that one.

Look at them.

This is you.

That is you.

Doctor,

would you be so kind to tell our parents about the global health crisis

affecting today's youth?

Yes, yeah, there's, I mean, there's quite a few.

The ones you were talking about early on.

Oh, yes, that's right. I was talking about anxiety.

Specifically my own, very big problem for my generation.

I don't want to get too into it, but I mean, it's largely to do with work. And

now I'm actually starting to feel it a little bit.

Sorry, where were we?

She says, baby, you're in your stomach.

What? Why do you want to hear Melissa's Chinese?

Mom, Mom,

Mom, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

But for her health care, I want you to give Melissa a little space.

Let's go.

Why don't we have to go out there?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no,

no, no,

no.

Clear!

Well, no, they actually don't seem too agitated at the moment.

Okay. Well, can I trust you to keep an eye on them?

Yes. That means no making out with your eyes closed and no more pretending

you're in a K -drama.

I guess I'm neither, Captain.

You know what she thinks.

Melissa, the Hippocratic Oath requires me to honor your medical

It doesn't give me license to fabricate a fictitious diagnosis.

I'm not asking you to fabricate a fictitious diagnosis.

I'm simply asking you to grow up here and tell my parents that a low -grade

possible concussion in the first month of pregnancy is practically zero risk to

an unborn child. That's not what it says in Emerson's concussion care manual or

in Williamson's manual of obstetrics.

Hey, how's it going in here? It's a stalemate.

Dr. Pussy here is still being a pussy.

Okay, I've got some good news and some bad news. Good news, our parents have

chilled out.

Bad news, I saw Lisa outside and I think she saw me.

What? Then why did you come in here? Well, to warn you, obviously.

And lead a hunter straight to its prey. Are you trying to get us discovered?

If Lisa sees me in here, it's game over.

She will order every test there just to test my will to not strangle her.

Dad, get out!

Henry, get him back to the family room and this time make sure he stays there.

Sorry. Yeah, you said he needs to go to the toilet. Like it really wasn't our

fault. You know,

every time something goes wrong, she blames me.

It's like that's her first and only instinct.

I mean, it's not my fault she's here. It's not my fault her sworn enemy slash

-fiance's wife works here. And it's definitely not my fault our parents are

here. I mean, who called them anyway?

Seriously? I don't know. I guess I freaked out in the ambulance.

Sorry. Unbelievable.

You know, I'm working my arse off to keep up this facade of a fake pregnancy.

And instead of, thank you, Henry.

You're welcome, Henry. How do you do it, Henry? It's careful, Henry. You're not

supposed to be catching baby fever here, Henry. Oh, um... When and why did she

say that?

Yeah.

All I'm asking is to be moved to another floor.

I mean, you hate me for two, right?

Terrible co -worker.

Monster in the staff room.

Hey, I'm talking to you.

Hey, what's all the commotion going on here?

Oh my God, Melissa, is it you?

What a wonderful surprise.

I'll take it from here.

Where I picked those DVDs out at random and I don't have baby fever.

At least I don't think I do.

Down the line, maybe, but it's not like I'm dying to have one right now just

because I'm not hating every minute of faking this dumb pregnancy.

Shit, I need to call Dave.

He's looking after the e -baby.

Henry! Okay, okay, I'll drop it. No, it's...

It's not that you may have contracted baby fever. It's the fact that you've

shown your card.

Yeah. Like, do you remember when I was with my ex and I wanted babies and she

didn't? But as long as we didn't show each other our cards, there was no

trouble. So what, you're saying Melissa doesn't want kids?

Yeah. No, I'm sorry.

I don't know. That's not really the point. She now knows whether your card

compatible with her card. And she also knows that you know that she knows. And

it's only going to be a matter of time before you want to know what she knows.

Ignorance is bliss, Henry. What are you? Some kind of dummy? All right.

That was so clear.

You know what? Maybe your cards will align. Then everything will be fine.

once again. I'm sorry. Did you want babies?

Oh, yeah. Do you?

Yeah, I do.

Okay.

Great. Do you see what I mean?

Well, I'm glad we sorted out your issues. Thank you.

Me too.

I thought that could have gone.

I know.

Shit.

All right.

Just go in there and distract them so that I can unplug the ultrasound from

PowerPoint. And then what?

They won't know how to plug it back in?

I don't know. I'm spitballing here. Henry, this fake pregnancy had to end at

some point, so maybe...

Yeah, and think about it. Now you and Melissa can graduate your relationship

the next level without the training rules, which is ultimately what you

right? But you just told me she might dump me now because I got all clucky.

Maybe she'll forget.

I mean, keep in mind, this is actually her third concussion in 18 months. And

whatever happens, you two will figure it out like you always do. And we will be

right here with you.

Yeah.

What?

Yeah, let's go. Yeah, you just said you'll be right here. Well, like,

Besides, this feels a lot more like a family thing. It does, doesn't it? Get

back here, you two. Get, get, get.

Right, just leave me back.

Just let yourself put a little there.

It's cold, right?

Okay, it's time for the money shot.

Yeah.

Harry!

The baby's fine.

Can you see it?

24 and a half weeks long, so you can't see much, but your

little pea -sized offspring is right there.

If you want, I can blow it up on the printer and get some copies for the

Oh, yes, yes, yes, please.

Is this for Bill?

Some rest, you said quite the nasty concussion.

Yeah. Bye -bye.

How?

When? I mean, I know how and probably when, but still, this is amazing.

You're going to be a soccer mum. Henry. I'm going to be a soccer mum. Henry.

What? Nobody is going to be a soccer mum. Huh?

It's not real.

But... It's just a black -white photo of some abdominal tissue.

I made a deal with Lisa.

She was on to me.

So I offered her our spot at Sherrogate Brook in exchange for telling my parents

I'm pregnant.

But now our parents think you're pregnant for real.

Yeah, which they already did. But now they have proof.

In two months' time, we're going to have to explain to them that that picture on

their fridge is fake.

They're going to be devastated.

And you think that they wouldn't have been if we told them it was a medical

misdiagnosis like we originally planned? Yeah, but... Henry!

had no choice.

If Lisa had told my parents the truth, then the last four weeks, everything

we've done, the offer that we put on the house, that would have all been for

nothing.

And the only thing that's changed since we woke up this morning is that for a

brief moment, you thought that I was pregnant.

And I'm sorry.

Can we drop this and

Figure it out tomorrow.

I'm actually kind of tired.

No. You're right.

I'm sorry.

Nothing's changed.

We'll figure it out tomorrow.

You should get some rest.

The thing I hate about Korean dramas, they take forever.

I guess it's because just like in real life, that's how long it takes someone

figure out they've made a mistake.

And the only way out?

Time travel.

Every time travels. The story starts with a mistake.

Cajun

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