Original subtitles

Here. The tent was fine.

And I'm pretty sure Henry had a great night.

What?

You had fun, right?

Melissa, I can.

Sure. You just...

Relax, baby.

Sweetheart.

Sugar bear.

Oh, no, I've never been more in love.

I feel so, so lucky to be with a guy who's honest, who's principled,

who has so much integrity.

That's open now.

Is it?

Oh. Oh, Jesus!

Believe it or not, the most sensitive part of the body to pain is the

fingertips.

But when your weapon of choice is a bottle of carbonated soda,

aim for the eye.

What the hell is your problem?

What? My hand slipped.

This is about what happened last night.

Why? What happened last night?

You know what I said on the nature trail about the Matrix and us and how this is

becoming a little bit... God, Henry, I don't know what you're talking about.

Melissa.

Melissa!

Guess it's just like how that Backstreet Boys song goes.

Ain't nothing but a heartache.

This is some exquisite world -building.

I mean, this is some next -level Arthur C. Clarke intricacy baked into the plot.

And the setting is very asimal.

That was my favourite part to write.

Cool.

Anyway,

Yang Yang.

Yes. And Henry.

What?

I'm Henry.

Okay.

I just like to say my name out loud sometimes.

Weird. Anyway, so Ying Yang, we love the writing. We love your imagination. We

love everything about this.

We just can't publish it.

Why? Well, see, our readers like to geek out on hard science, but they need

something to root for, something that's not intellectual, something that's

bloody and wonky and steamy and, you know,

hot. Hot.

Like a romance.

Exactly. I mean, look, here.

Asha regarded the extraterrestrial sleek as a shark emerging from the deepest

sea. Its double -mean red eyes flickered, and she could see clearly its

in humanoid musculature from the powerful arm to the sharp, tampering

I feel like they're gonna fuck.

Nope.

Narratively. You're right.

What? This book needs more sex.

Not sex, more of a love story.

What's that?

No book needs a love story.

Of course you would say that.

That's supposed to mean.

Have we ever really explored Asha's motivations for leaving the home planet?

Maybe she's lonely.

Maybe she is lonely. I mean, female erotica, that's a goldmine. No, she's

some lowly alien housewife.

How would you know?

Have you ever asked her?

What? Maybe Asha has bigger aspirations than date nights at Mr. Ming's Dumpling

House. Maybe she wants, I don't know, a guy who tells her goodnight.

Someone whose biggest accomplishment before noon every day isn't getting

one -hour poos out.

Maybe she wants flowers and passion and... Are you still talking about the

here?

No, Mr. Sturge, your bowels should be moving at least three times a week.

How long since...

that's too long that is way too long it's been like this for about 18 hours

how many did you take how many what mr fuller

i didn't take anything right

Are you okay when you're going into surgery?

I'm so sorry. That is a minor ankle sprain.

What? Why is she in here?

Ice her up and send her out.

But stop, stop.

I'm going to make the silver first. This is not how you treat prom athletes.

We can do a love story.

No, we're not.

Yes, we are.

We're not.

Yes, we are.

Then I quit.

Quickly. I am not selling my integrity for some lowbrow, made -up bestsellers

list on Kindle Unlimited.

This is Hugo award -winning stuff, and if you can't handle it, you can... You

can take my name off that right now.

So you're waving your right?

Unequivocally. Let's go, Yanya.

I think I'm going to stay.

Maybe drop some paperwork, talk to some lawyers.

Good idea.

What? You just waived your rights.

That was a verbal contract, which... No,

wait, you can't just... Aunt Henry, I'm breaking up with you.

But they're still going to publish the book.

How is that what you're focusing on right now?

Danielle just broke up with me. Oh, she breaks up with you all the time.

She broke up with you on my birthday.

She broke up with you on your birthday.

So you said yes to the love story.

Well, he... No.

No.

I have to make me sell out. Then you should have sold out.

Do you have any idea what I did to get you this meeting?

You sold your body?

I have to clean his assistant's house for the next six months, so yes, yes, I

did sell my body.

Look, I might have also accidentally... Well, I was tricked into... What?

Waving my legal rights to co -vite us.

You know when something just feels so right?

Like sleep on a cold day.

Or memory foam.

I guess that's how I feel about Toby.

I mean, granted, when he proposed to me three years ago, I said no outright

because I wasn't ready. But now I just feel so right.

And most guys would feel threatened, but Toby, oh no, he's just so comfortable

in his masculinity and he's not a traditionalist and neither am I.

We both want to grab it by the balls.

He's on a break.

Wish me luck.

Tobey, I knew when I first saw you in the waiting room of the oncology

department that we were meant to be together.

You were like the film to my Stevie from the Saddle Club, even though you say

we're more like Legolas than... Gimli, but whatever.

I love you and will you... I love you and

will you...

I'll just talk to her and get myself back on a contact.

I'll lay it on thick till all my grandma dies or something.

Hey.

Have you seen EA?

Yeah, she dropped in.

Then she left real quick with a suitcase.

Did she say where she was going?

Nah. But she did say something about the movers picking up the couch.

This is a normal couch.

You're undercutting your medical talent.

Oh, my gosh. You cute little pants that broke off your butt.

Toby. Yes.

Toby.

Should

I

go lower?

I'm going to go lower.

Uh -uh.

Allie would tell me to go lower.

Allie would always say, oh, I would totally bang you and then I'll call you

because I don't respect you enough.

Perfect. Melissa, this is sad.

This is not healing.

It's not healing.

He doesn't get to fumigate his way through the entire department behind my

like some kind of human fertilizer.

You don't need to know that. And end up with a white picker fence.

I watched the entire Lord of the Rings extended edition for him. That's 11

hours.

That's worse than childbirth.

Melissa, I don't even know why I'm here.

Mandy, if and when you become interesting and inundated with pussy

then you can find someone else to help me sit with Toby's little brother. Come

on.

for the first time that she was the one.

You invited her. She wasn't supposed to go.

A normal person wouldn't go.

And then love.

Love is true.

Love is real.

And it goes on the lover's sense of dignity.

And it makes you a better person.

Hey, so Toby and Lisa.

Toby and Lisa.

Hi, Dougie. Do you remember me?

Doesn't matter. You will. Oh, shit.

Do you want me to call security?

I call security.

No security.

No drama.

Just get her out of here.

What?

What?

I can't look.

Can we get two vodkas, please?

Sweetie,

do you want it with anything?

What?

Do you want to know the ice or tonnock or something?

No, just, it's straight.

Straight vodka?

At a wedding?

Yep.

Like your style.

So, do you come here?

I work here.

Of course she roped you into this.

What the hell do you want? Nothing.

We just wanted to congratulate you on your wedding.

What the fuck, babe? I told you to get rid of her.

Toby. Get out of my wedding, Liffa. Oh, okay.

Okay. I, uh, I'm going.

I'm going.

I was okay with the nice little shit.

I just want everybody to know that Toby Jennings has her feet.

Thank you and good night.

Let's go.

Let's go.

One down for the guy.

You know, Jen, I'm not a divorce lawyer. I settle property.

Look, even if I could get custody of your PlayStation, my boss is going to

charge you five and a half grand to take Beth to court.

That's more than what you two own jointly.

Hey, did you convince Jen to pull the settlement case?

Nope.

I had to call her a parent.

They made it back down on account of the fact they tried a soft spot for Beth. I

don't know how you do this, David.

How I do what?

If you teach boomers how to delete files all day when you brought your dad back

to life, it's a holograph.

It's like a modern -day Edison.

Thanks, man.

I guess it's just one step in front of the other.

Not everyone blooms early, and that's okay.

It's life.

Judith Polgar became a chess grandmaster at 16.

Yeah, but now she can't even beat a computer.

Motar brought his first symphony when he was eight. Yeah, but he was really

ugly.

Not his fault, but just, you know.

You're in vain.

You should be committed.

Hi, Debbie.

Is there a headline receding?

No. Looks like it's receding.

You're a predator,

Melissa. Adam, Ronan, who's next?

Chris?

Chris?

I did.

Stop trusting.

Stop it.

You know, the dream has lived this station.

Chris, stop it right now.

Hold it in.

Don't give in.

Oh, I'm giving in. He's giving in.

You made a blood tag when we were 15.

You're my best friend of 20 years.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What are you doing?

It's like five in the morning. I got it, I got it, I got it.

Check this out.

Time untravel?

My anti -time travel novel of the decade.

Think about it. We're already time travellers.

You and me, we're time travellers.

Only we're, you know, fixed speed, unidirectional time travellers. You

forwards at the same speed. One fixed unit time per unit time.

But what if we could democratise time?

Democratise ourselves from time. Now we can become truly multi -directional

variable speed time travellers.

But first, we need to learn how to untravel through time.

Aidan?

No science tricks out.

Fine. I will call the publishers later today and try and get you an advance if

you Promise me you'll take more freelance writing gigs.

What, like lifestyle blogs? I am serious. I'm so serious about this,

need this to keep me afloat. Please?

Please? Fine.

Fine. Whatever.

Good. Good.

Great. Go. Thank you.

Oh, and Henry, please, for the love of God, write it quickly this time.

God.

I just don't understand why you're with him. I agree. If I'd been at that

wedding, then I never would have allowed it.

Why would you say that?

At my gender reveal party.

Just don't need to be said.

You've said that. You've said that multiple times.

At my engagement dinner, and my bachelorette party, and my wedding.

You know what your problem is? Here we go. You spent the last year revenge

-fucking all five Toby's groomsmen. Four.

What? Well, she only revenge -fucked four of them. Gayle's in Argentina.

The fact that you know that's pathological.

I just think you can do better, that's all.

What are you going to do when Bourne and I leave for LA?

They'll go out.

After that?

I can tell you're lonely.

So move back home. Keep mum and dad company.

Find something you love other than work.

Make new friends.

Oh, whoa, hey.

Yeah, she has friends. It's not you, Ellie.

That's the other thing. It's super weird to be your agent. I only have one

friend.

She's pregnant.

See, that each balloon's got a caffeine gun inside it. I'm going to light the

arrow on fire, shoot the balloons, they're all going to explode, and then

tell us if we're having a boy or a girl.

Jesus Christ. Like a Viking funeral.

Come on.

You didn't tell me about the fireworks. I thought it was just confetti. Nah,

babe. Confetti's lame. That's made of mail shit. It's all about industrial

-level explosives.

That's what they do in L .A.

Time to find out if it's a boy or a girl.

No.

No!

I'm just so grateful to all of my fans for getting me at the top of the mental

illness for 18 weeks and counting.

So, huge thank you for my fans.

Really grateful.

Okay.

Relax, just keyhole surgery.

Spanish is a romantic language, because when you're standing... In the most

remote corner of the world,

the Antarctic winds hit you in the face, demanding you to declare that I

am alive.

Estoy vivo.

But only when you have this feeling, that is when you're not just speaking

Spanish,

but Spanish is speaking in you.

Say it.

You're going on family tender.

Like I said, ain't nothing but a heartache.

Maybe I just want it that way.

Ellie.

Anyang?

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