Original subtitles

You know when you need to pee in your dream, so you go, and then you wake up

a panic thinking you actually wet your bed?

Then

you

start to think.

Jack, am I actually awake?

That's when you realise you've wet your bed as a grown -ass adult.

It's over.

Sorry.

Bro, why would you end it now?

Because it's untenable.

It's what?

Untenable. Untenable?

Is that even a word?

Yes, it's a word.

Untenable. Untenable.

Yeah, untenable.

Right. Sorry, what is so untenable about a casual snog? I mean, it looked like

you both liked it. Ellie!

What? It did!

I felt nothing whatsoever.

In fact, it was quite literally the literal definition of having experienced

nothing. Some people spend years trying to achieve that state of empty zen

euphoria. Thanks, Nathan.

So wait, what's the problem here? The problem is that it threatens the very

integrity of our arrangement. But you felt nothing, so therefore it doesn't

matter, right? No, because we're... Friends with benefits.

Ooh, no.

What? Yuck. We are not friends.

What? Sorry. Okay, you are casual acquaintances in a special purpose

relationship with no feelings or attachments who... Hey, no, no, no.

Hey.

Happen to spend the night together.

I still don't see what the problem is.

Look, it's just untenable, okay?

And besides, it's already done. It's over.

I just have to go on just one last thing with her before we break it to our

parents. Wait a minute.

What thing?

I don't know.

Some special event she made me promise to go on.

Special event?

The Spanish Inquisition?

Wait, are you... Still going to go through with that?

Absoluto. This is exciting.

I want to come. I don't want to come.

I kind of want to come.

Can I have that back now?

Yes.

So, is there a reason why we press like this for a community language college

reunion? And I thought you were still studying.

Spanish is ephemeral.

Past, present, and future tenses are fluid and subjective.

Open your mind, man.

I think you mean irregular and subjunctive, which is quite different.

Whatever. Time is temporal.

Get over it.

So, about the other night... I don't want to talk about it.

Neither do I, but... What? You're going to talk about it anyway because you have

no manners?

No. I just think that we should probably work out what we're going to tell our

parents. There's nothing to work out.

We just sit them down and tell them that we're breaking up.

What's the big deal?

The big deal is that my parents don't take breakups too well, and I don't even

try to mount a rescue bishop.

Your parents are not my problem.

They are when they connect up with your parents.

And what?

Become the power rangers?

We'll deal with it, Henry.

This is it.

What kind of community language college did you say this was again?

Milita, Milita.

I level one. One speaking puma.

What did I say, no?

Nos precioto.

Magnifica.

You, Enrique, the writer, el escrador.

Oui, like a wired visionary lama.

Well, I mean... It's an honor.

Such an honor.

Come. Come on.

Do you feel it?

I feel it.

Si. This is exciting, no?

Did you see the dolphin murder people outside?

Very strong.

Muy fuerte.

Because tonight, we are all going to be dolphins.

Swimming in the ocean together.

It's going to be incredible.

Ah, Lucia, my wife.

Enrique is Lucia.

Lucia, Enrique.

And you have already met Melissa.

Hi, Melissa. Lovely to see you again.

And Enrique.

I heard you're a scientist.

I really want to know what you're doing now.

Oh, yeah.

Well, Lucia is an astronomer from Santiago.

Pardon.

What? You've worked on one of the Chinese Latin American joint satellite

programs? S .S .C. Santiago, 2017.

Don't you want me to go to a hotel?

Okay.

I'll catch up with you later.

Hi, I'm sorry. Can I borrow him for a second?

Thank you.

Hi. Melissa.

I'm sorry.

I was under the impression that I am here to feel that feeling with you. So I

was just wondering if we could skip the chit -chat and fast forward to that

part.

Preferably somewhere private.

Excellent, my noble dolphin friend.

Thank you.

Melissa.

This is not chitchat.

This is expression.

Dissipation.

Mood and ambience.

Vibration going to the cosmos.

Creating a primordial soup of love and energy.

This. This is the love.

Amar. Lo sientes.

Do you feel it?

Let's see in cover.

Vamos. Let's go.

So, everyone here is learning Spanish?

No, some are not all.

What has Northa told you about dolphins?

Well, not much, actually. Just that you all like to get together once a while

and reunite.

Something about past, present, and future all being one together.

Okay, that's the way to put it.

Yeah.

Telling classes and sessions only we get things done.

It was just a reflex.

And I was in a raw and emotional state from seeing my ex with another guy.

What's your excuse? Losing a pretend horse race?

Hobby horse roller derby is an extremely demanding and libidinous sport. I

needed to shed some excess competition hormones and just there.

Well, I'm definitely not going to be just there today.

Henry, even if I wanted to have really average sex again, no one is here to

sleep with their plus one today.

Everybody, 12 minutes, swim to me.

So, what are you two into?

Excuse me? Two on one, three -way, guy on guy, girl on girl.

The diamond.

Sorry if I'm being so direct. It's just we've been eyeing you up since you came

in. We're very accommodating.

Thank you.

I'm sure you are, but we're actually more into individual endeavours.

Yeah. Like, you know, separately.

Oh.

Uh, is that okay?

Oh, well, sure.

It's just that, well, this is a holistic couples -only swingers party, you know,

where we swing together.

It's a way of strengthening our bonds as a couple by bonding with other couples.

What's wrong?

Uh. Did you think that this was a normal swingers club?

Oh. Oh, no.

Oh.

We should probably say something to Gael.

Oh, no, no, no.

We were just confused by terminology, weren't we?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, we normally go to this other place and it's so different.

Yeah, I mean, they call the diamond the... Angulated almond.

Exactly.

Crazy. Oh, great. Well, that's a relief then.

Phil, so what are you two into?

Uh, we mainly like to watch.

Together.

As a couple.

Along.

Your voyage.

Yep.

Nice going, idiot. I hope this was worth it.

Just keep smiling and nod every now and then.

That'll be done soon.

You reckon?

So why are you so obsessed with this guy?

Your weird Spanish teacher who gets a hard -on for a fish.

I am not obsessed with Gael.

Yes, you are.

No, I'm not.

Then why the hell are we at his house pretending to be swingers when we aren't

actually even together?

Because I want to fuck him anyway.

All right, Jesus.

It's just, it seems like a lot of hurdles to clear to sleep with someone.

Your face is a hurdle to sleep with someone.

Yeah, well, you cleared it just fine the other night.

Clear your face right now if you don't shut up.

Make me.

What the?

Stop that. Do you like that?

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Enrique, we'd like to make your proposal.

Tonight, later on,

Lucina will be returning to our separate quarters.

Reserved for special occasion.

We'll be honored if you had joined us.

Don't say anything.

Well, hey.

What?

Auntie Linda, you two are in so much trouble.

Honestly, Auntie Linda, this is not what it looks like. No, not a secret

swingers club run by a notorious local Spanish teacher and his astronomer wife.

Get in.

Where are we going to meet your makers?

Look, Auntie Linda, I understand that it's all a bit unexpected and

depraved, but do we really need to bring our parents into this?

You know, with only 50 % of married couples happy together after a few

opening up a relationship in a safe and reputable swing and club is not a crazy

idea. Silence!

Do you know how devastating this will be for my reputation if the Chinese chit

-chat community found out that you two, my most sensational match, have started

going to a sex club?

On a scale of one to ten, maybe? It's a perfect ten, Henry.

And I can't allow that to happen.

You're going to come clean to your parents, and then you're going to be

a public apology to my chit -chat followers, denying I had anything to do

it.

No.

Even better.

You two are going to confess to manipulating me.

People love that narrative.

And then I'm going to ban you both.

from my matchmaking service and give them the retribution they so badly want.

Ha!

Vaughn! What are you doing here?

Where's Wendy and Peter?

Wendy? Peter?

Wendy? Peter?

Hi -ya!

I went off keto.

I went off keto.

What's keto?

It's a high -fat, low -carb diet that puts your body into a state of ketosis.

Can you send me a link?

Sure.

What on earth made you stop wanting to be in ketosis?

I told our parents about the divorce.

You're divorcing?

I thought I was going to be okay.

I forget if Mandy and your old don't believe that we're stuck in a simulation

because we're not ketoing.

That I could get out first, then come back for them later through the matrix,

you know?

But now it's finally heading home, and I just don't care anymore.

I just want to go.

I just want to go.

What the hell is he talking about?

Sorry to hear that, Varnie.

Thanks, Henry.

Where are Mandy and Yoel? Are they safe?

They're safe at your grandmothers till I go back to LA.

What about Mum and Dad?

No, it's safe.

Your parents are consoling them.

Before they left,

they said that one thing keeping them happy is seeing you two

together.

You know, I reassured them. I said it all would be good once we escaped from

this artificial reality.

Did your mum call me a conspiracy theorist?

I don't care what you two have to do to stay together, but nobody hears a word

of this.

I'll send out a misinformation warning on Chit Chat.

This is the last thing your parents need to know right now.

You smoke?

First puff since 96.

This is not good.

This is really, really bad.

Yeah, no shit.

Did she actually just say we're not allowed to break up with each other?

exactly what she said.

What are we going to do?

I mean, I guess we could try and get Mandy and Vaughan to get back together.

Are you with Nycopy?

What? I'm spitballing here. Well, stop.

There's only one option available to us, Henry.

And what's that?

We keep pretending.

I'll keep studying Spanish and save for my trip. You keep on writing, and then

in about a month, when this shit show with Mandy and Vaughan has settled down,

I'll disappear, and then you move up.

We'll just say that, I don't know, long distance wasn't working up.

They'll buy it.

What about the other night?

What about it?

Well, it was... What?

Well, just like you said, it was... Incredibly average.

And totally meaningless.

Yeah. Yeah.

And, I mean, from the outside, someone might say, hey, they slept together,

becoming real, but... That someone would be an absolute idiot.

Hell yeah.

I feel sorry for them.

We should go back in.

To the swans?

I mean, this is strictly business, right?

We may as well get all the benefits.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, this is like a golden opportunity for two people to

the maximum benefit from a fake arrangement and sleep with a whole lot

randos.

Are you ready to be a dolphin?

I'll work on it.

Melissa!

We thought you'd laughed.

We did.

But not by choice.

A deep sea current dragged us from the rest of the pod and pulled us down an

oceanic trench.

And then the tide changed and we swam right back to you.

I thought you...

No.

Can I tell you something?

A secret?

Go on.

I am friends of one of your ex -lovers.

Really? Si.

Señor Toby Jenkins.

He's arrived back.

My social football team.

I am Le Fouin.

We are like David Beckham and Karin Abil.

Throwing down the right side, just like Sir Alex Ferguson demanded.

Wow,

that's amazing.

But...

When I

first throw your singular face in my Spanish class,

I think the master guide,

where have you seen his face before?

I'm looking on Instagram at Toby and Lisa.

Wedding photos and bam.

Entiendo.

I understand.

Um, sorry, sorry. What exactly did you, uh, Nintendo?

Everything.

You? Me?

Why you're here?

Together with me?

What you're feeling and why?

What? Wow.

Yeah.

I just want you to know, I have no problem with...

No problem whatsoever.

Well, I'm really pleased to hear that.

Great.

Water release.

Now relax.

It's nothing but clear and disturbed water between us.

Actually, I need to use the bathroom.

Yes, Melissa.

Of course.

Hey,

are you already done?

Sorry, I just imagined a longer duration.

So how was it?

Amazing. Totally worth it.

Cool.

You? Yeah, it was nice.

Good? Good.

Yeah, good. We did it. Yeah.

Yeah.

We should probably go back and make sure everyone hasn't overdosed on carbs.

Yeah, good point.

I guess the thing about fake relationships is that you've got to fake

out of them.

By the way, Lucy, I mentioned there was another one in a month.

I said I'll check with you first. I'm really fast.

Yeah, I'm done.

Oh,

okay.

Guess we're really doing this.

Huh? Because beyond a certain point, there's no eject button.

One more month, strictly business.

You've just got to lie in that wet bed you've made until it dries, because the

only way out is in.

My conception.

What?

Nothing. But, uh, yeah.

We are doing this.

Mm.

Oh.

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