Original subtitles

When you're living at home in your 30s, you need a plan B.

Crashing with friends who also live at home in their 30s is not the greatest

plan B.

Ta -da!

Jen, you said I could crash here, not camp here. Where the hell's your camper

van? Yeah, about that. There was sort of an incident this morning.

Some guy was returning a rental van and he was pretty off his face when he

pulled into the driveway and just like...

Crashed into your camper van?

Ken, are you okay?

Oh, no, no, no, no. No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

He missed.

I mean, he was pretty close, though. But then, when he stumbled into the camper

van to check out, he felt really sick and just... Puked up all inside your

camper van? Ew, gross. Yuck. No, Henry, he was actually a real gentleman about

it. He felt sick and then he tried to get out, but then in a state of panic,

tripped and he fell on the water pump, which then sprayed the power generator,

which then sent the electrical surge of the toaster. And yes.

He blew up your camper van. Henry, what was wrong with you? No, the camper van

was fine.

He blew up my breakfast.

I was, like, really looking forward to that three cheese toasting.

So where the hell is your camper van? Oh, yeah. Well, then he thought really

about that, so then he wanted to book the van for another week, but then I

realized there was a booking straight after it, so then I offered him my

van instead, and check it out. I got an extra two and a half grand in my pocket

for the week.

What? Gores!

Am I right?

I mean, you're welcome to, like, set up a tent next to mine or... Or you could

go to your pretend family yum cha with a new fake girlfriend while I shop your

manuscript for a few more publishers.

Got one.

Yeah. Lucky for this melon head.

My plan B game was on point.

Will you relax?

I've already messaged Ellie.

Who the hell is Ellie?

She's my best friend. Slash dream coach, slash PT, slash assistant practice

manager of my dermatology clinic. She'll be here in 20.

To be fair, this was risky.

Group dates with Chinese parents are notoriously hard to untangle.

Henry, this is Melissa Topo. And group dates of Chinese grandparents.

It's so nice to meet you.

Li zhou ai Henry ama.

Ai guai la guai la.

Ah, forever.

Any chance your friend can be here in 10?

I'll tell her 5.

Where the hell is your friend?

She'll be here.

Wow, look at this.

You know, I have to say that when Henry came here to ask for a date with

Melissa, I would never have expected a million years that that combination

work.

But now, you two, you look more tasty than my salted eggs, fried chicken and

prawn dumplings combined.

I appreciate this, Auntie Linda.

The pleasure is mine.

Jimmy. And because of you two, my reputation as Avondale's number

one matchmaker on Chit Chat has reached new levels.

Today, everything is on the house.

So very generous of you, Auntie Linda.

It really is.

Signal. Signal.

Signal. Signal.

Signal. Signal.

Well, apparently you left for it.

Ah, look who's here.

Hey, Uncle.

Hey, Aunty.

I thought we should invite him to join your celebration.

What a great idea.

Right? That looks good.

What's the point?

Should we eat?

Oh, ice cream ball.

Mmm.

Awesome.

I'm so happy you found someone, Henry.

Who knew it would be so delicious, eh?

Yeah.

You must have preoccupied with a lot of your new relationship.

He sure did.

Actually,

you sang to me in Chinese.

Henry, you can sing in Chinese? That was very impressive, actually.

Well, not as impressive as you sing to me in Spanish.

What?

I'm learning.

I thought you were at Dunroof learning Spanish.

Oh, she was amazing.

Shut up, Henry.

No, you shut up. No, you shut up.

No, you shut up. No, you shut up. No, you shut up. No, you shut up. You shut

You shut up. No, you shut up. Oh, they're playing the shut up game.

They're the shut up game.

Melissa.

Melissa.

Thank God you're here.

Uh, hey.

Hi.

Hello. What's wrong? There is a situation at the clinic and you need to

now. What happened?

Yeah, what happened? Yeah, what happened?

What happened?

Uh,

a man came in with this.

rash, and it was red and fiery and inflamed, and I thought, this is too

a trainee dermatologist on the weekend to handle.

Oh, well, that sounds like it really needs my attention.

I should probably go.

And I should come, too.

When Judy falls.

A -topic dermatitis, you need to avoid eating shellfish and wear threads twice

day, okay?

The emergency?

I thought you were on a road trip.

Melissa, Mandy heard you got a boyfriend. You got a boyfriend.

We have to turn around, come straight back. She's obsessed.

Please tell me you're not about to leave.

Of course not.

Patient can go to A &E.

Mandy, this is my boyfriend, Henry.

Henry,

Mandy.

Isn't he adorable?

That's my boy.

Cute as a fucking button.

LA is so nurturing and progressive. We're surrounded by artists and

and dreamers. Exactly. It's like anything is possible.

As long as you avoid the cell towers and all those EV charging stations.

Straight up.

You're worried about 5G?

I mean,

bro. Vaughan.

believes that the 5G network might disrupt his ketogenic state, which is

only way that he's going to liberate himself from the simulation that we're

We're all in a simulation? That's right, my friend.

Just like in The Matrix.

That film? It's basically a documentary.

Oh, my gosh. You should all download my keto app. It's called Neo's Keto. Oh,

stop it.

Once we get about 80 % of the Earth's population on a communal ketogenic

we'll go offline.

Boom. Reality begin.

Mm -hmm.

They are all so interesting.

Incredible.

Pretty wacky, all right.

Henry, you made this long as an inspiration for one of your books.

Sorry? Henry's been trying to write a science fiction book.

Maybe speaking to a real tech expert would help you.

Dude.

I'm down. I'm down anytime, bro. Hit me up.

I don't think Henry really needs help from Vaughn.

He's an extremely talented writer.

Well, if you change your mind, Henry, Vaughn and I are always there for you. I

don't think he's going to change his mind, Mandy. Well, if you ever do,

He won't. He might. He won't. He might.

He won't. He might. He won't.

Thanks.

Hey,

Yoel. Would you like to play a pimple popping game on my phone instead?

Yeah.

As a special treat.

You

mean

your eldest daughter who is an actual doctor, not some insta stylist slash

coach who's married to a conspiracy bashing tech bro?

Sorry, no offense.

How's the Chinese love song?

He sang you a song in Chinese?

Yeah.

Actually, he made it up himself.

What? Yeah, it was more of a Chinese love rap, wasn't it?

No. Yeah, he was just like, um, um, um, flowing.

Oh, my God, we have to hear this.

Yeah.

What the hell were you doing out there?

Having fun.

I just had to drop chilli oil on my shirt to get out of doing a rap I don't

in Mandarin.

Great fun.

Yeah, well, how about you explain to me why you personally requested Aunt Linda

to be back on family Tinder?

I was going to just fine bring off her book.

And I just wanted a second date that wouldn't lead to a full -on relationship

and a joint family young child.

Why'd you be getting out of there? Why'd you have to take it?

Because my little sister had to shop, didn't she?

Yeah, that little Miss Goody Goody Two -Shoes out there is the most undeserving

family favourite in the history of undeserving family favourite ever. So I

need you to go out there and play your part and be that... A little bit

than his stupid, dumb -ass husband, and then we'll call it even, okay?

For the record, this fake relationship was your idea, and it was supposed to be

quote -unquote light on commitment.

I'm not going to go out there and pretend to be.

Popo, you're...

Shit. Where the hell is

this one from?

Henry, Melissa, is everything alright?

What?

That's ridiculous.

No, we were just right here.

That was, we, that, that was, we, we, we were... Practicing.

Practice?

You know, for the...

Chinese love rap getting in the groove.

Aiden?

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Come on.

Auckland love rap.

China.

You guys.

Oh my

god.

Yeah, word.

Is it just me, or does your Chinese love rap sound like a metaphor for wanting

kids? What?

It's just so aggressive, like labor.

It's like life trying to break free. No, no, that's not what it is.

With...

It's like mother and a daughter took off life.

Henry, do you know the other one?

No.

Actually, we're aiming for twins.

Wow.

We should plan a family holiday together.

Maybe we go dance. No, no, let's go. Let's go.

Henry! Henry!

He gets a little sensitive about his rhymes.

But... He'll be fine.

Hey! Hey!

Where do you think you're going?

Twins? Are you serious?

My dad's going to take us shopping for double -decker plans in an hour.

I'm out.

No, no, no, no. You're not going anywhere.

We have a job to finish.

No! Alyssa, this was never part of the deal. Oh, well, maybe you should have

thought about that before you dragged me into this.

Dragged you into this? Mm -hmm.

Oh, come on, don't play the innocent bystander. You know exactly what you're

doing, you manipulative little... What's going on?

Are you guys breaking up?

Shut up, Mandy. You guys can't break up. Mandy, for once in your life, can you

just stay out of my life?

Why don't you go back inside to your perfect little family? I'm divorcing

Vaughn.

What? I'm leaving him.

At the end of this trip, me and your wife, we're not going back to L .A. with

him.

Does he?

Does he know that?

Sort of.

Not really.

It's meant to be a healing trip to get us back on track.

Look, I haven't told mum or dad yet, so please don't break up until after Warn

leaves. Don't make too much for them. I'll do anything.

Sometimes the best way to untangle yourself from family is with a bit more

family. Mandy!

Come here.

Come here.

Oh my gosh.

No, don't worry. Of course we're not breaking.

Okay? Everything will be just fine.

Because nothing destroys family like family.

Don't worry.

You need to back off Henry and Melissa.

Look at you all. Getting Henry to reenact his love brat. After Melissa to

diagnose a relative's rash over video chat.

You're going to send them into a nervous breakdown.

If Ford and I had been scrutinized and put under a microscope like this at the

start of our relationship, we would have lived here.

And who knows what would have happened between us.

Accidents happen when you're not paying attention.

I know that I don't agree.

So, from the beginning to the end, he's still in trouble with me.

Really? Yes.

Until I know that, he's already in charge of Melissa for two months.

Oh, my house is the same.

I'm all alone. I'm all alone.

I'm all alone.

I'm all alone.

What did you think?

Well, with all due respect, it does sound like Melissa and Henry's first

was pretty amazing, right?

Maybe leaving early and having some time by themselves had something to do with

it?

Hard to fall in love when everyone's watching.

Yeah, it's hard.

And just like that, we were on the home street.

My gosh, Henry, Melissa, we are so sorry.

This was a terrible idea.

Why don't you two leave, do we all think?

You don't need us older generations hanging around and killing your romance.

That's a great idea.

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye, you later.

Bye, you later.

Victory. All the pretense of a committed relationship without being monitored by

our helicopter parents.

If they have a couple of twins, then we need to help each other.

Yes,

yes, yes, yes.

So, today, we're going to help each other.

No, no, no. Today, everyone will come to our house.

This is the best thing to eat.

Crap.

Looks like it's our parents that might need the monitoring.

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