Original subtitles

WHISTLE BLOWS

WHISTLE BLOWS

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

Good evening, I'm Jason Manford.

Welcome to Have I Got Sport For You.

An idea so good, it only took 34 years

for someone to come up with it. LAUGHTER

Tonight we'll take a sporting look back

at the last 12 months of drugs, controversy and sleaze.

And that's just the bit about Premier League refs.

LAUGHTER

Hey, hey. Book him, ref, book him.

In the sports news this year,

a new report by eminent psychologist rejects the notion

that men take sport too seriously.

SHRIEKING: Goal!

MAN YELLS

Come on!

In Derbyshire, one umpire finally proves

that no-one really understands the rules of cricket.

2012...

LIGHT COUGHING

Is it in?

CHEERING

Oh, you can't do that.

And after his last game as England manager,

Lee Carsley's leaving do takes a turn for the worse.

GROUP: Ohh...

CHEERING

ROWDY CHATTER

RAUCOUS CHEERING

LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE

Let's meet tonight's teams -

with Jon Richardson,

it's legendary England fast bowler Stuart Broad

and Paralympic cyclist and Celebrity MasterChef champion Kadeena Cox.

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

And joining Maisie Adam are

boxing's answer to Donald Trump - Eddie Hearn,

and Olympic heptathlon silver medallist Katarina Johnson-Thompson.

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

Round One is the disciplinary panel,

where we grumble about the teams or individuals

over the past year who didn't do quite as well as we wanted them to.

So, Maisie, Katarina and Eddie,

watch this and tell me who it is

and should we let them off or tell them off?

OK.

Oh... Oh!

Bless her.

Raygun... Oh!

LAUGHTER

Oh!

It's worse with each time, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

This is Raygun, isn't it?

It is. From this year's Olympics.

This is why I think you've got to really respect, like,

the broadcast and the commentators at things like the Olympics.

Mm. Because they are able to just sort of continue with

such poise and professionalism without saying stuff like,

"Is that really break dancing? I don't know."

I don't know how anybody watched that with a straight face,

I really don't. Why do you think...

Specifically, why do you think her performance was mocked?

You just watched it, Jason!

LAUGHTER

Was it something that the Olympians talked about?

It was like an urban myth.

I was going around the Olympic Village trying to find her,

in all honesty. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Like Slenderman? Yeah... LAUGHTER

Does she even exist?!

If you say Raygun three times in the mirror,

she appears behind you going...

LAUGHTER

She's actually retired since, as well. Very sad.

No. No, you know what it is?

They've taken this out of the Olympics for 2028 now,

and I think she feels, like, solely responsible.

Well, she is responsible.

LAUGHTER

Solely!

JON: It does seem a bit of a shame.

To make a mockery of break dancing feels a bit sniffy

on behalf of the break dancing community.

I thought they were all like...

Didn't know you WERE part of the break dancing community!

LAUGHTER

That's where I got my bald spot -

practising the spin.

Yeah!

I'll tell you, I get some speed up.

APPLAUSE

Head Judge Martin Gilian praised her originality

and celebration of her roots, saying...

LAUGHTER

I must admit, I quite enjoyed watching it

because having a few sporting battles against the Aussies,

I don't mind them being bad at things.

Yeah, yeah. That's true. Yeah.

And she was really bad. I reckon we could take them at break dancing,

is that what you're saying? I couldn't.

No, no, I'm not saying that!

LAUGHTER

On the other end of the scale,

Katarina, you had your best Olympics to date.

How did that feel? Come on!

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

How did that feel?

Ah, well, it was a really good time for me.

It was the second best ever score.

Silver medal.

I've been to four Olympics, never got a medal.

And this time, yeah, I'm glad to bring something home.

Smashed it, mate.

And, Kadeena, another gold medal

to add to your tally at this year's Paralympics.

That's amazing as well.

Phenomenal.

How many is that now?

Five. Five!

Five. Unbelievable.

What was it like this year?

Normally, I compete pretty much from the beginning until the end,

doing the two sports,

but because I only did one sport this time,

we went into the village and I had already competed,

so I was just living the dream.

So I was just walking around. Chilling.

You know, getting a Costa with my face on it,

you know, eating the muffins.

Would you be like swanning around wearing the medal?

Erm, no.

Really?

If I had Kadeena's medals,

I'd be wearing them all the time.

Honestly.

Stuart, cricket's going to be back at the Olympics in 2028.

Why?

LAUGHTER

Yeah, no idea, really.

But looking forward to it.

It's LA, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Next Olympics.

Do you think they'll tempt you back out of retirement, into...?

Absolutely not.

LAUGHTER

Absolutely not, no.

This isn't happening, let's be honest.

2028 in America?

They don't need break dancing,

the whole country is going to be broken.

Hey, this is the sport one. OK? LAUGHTER

Right.

APPLAUSE

Let's just remember where we are. Remember where we are.

Andy Murray's final appearance was at the Paris Olympics,

representing Team GB in the men's doubles alongside Dan Evans.

After his retirement, what did he post?

Oh!

KADEENA: It was something so simple, wasn't it?

JON: Yeah, he said...

SCOTTISH ACCENT: "I never even liked tennis anyway."

That was it.

LAUGHTER

He didn't look like he liked tennis, to be fair.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, he went method.

The retirement this year of Murray, as well as Rafael Nadal,

is a real shot in the arm for Novak Djokovic,

though, of course, he won't accept it.

LAUGHTER

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

Jon, Stuart, and Kadeena, here's something for you to look at.

JON: Oh, you've upset me now.

Aw!

Looking back on when we first met.

CHUCKLING

It doesn't want to come home.

LAUGHTER

TEARFULLY: And there's beautiful, beautiful Gareth.

How did he upset the nation?

By giving hope to people who, frankly, don't deserve it.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

To be fair, you know, his record in tournaments is semifinal,

final, quarterfinal, final.

And the quarterfinal was Qatar.

So that was a political statement as well.

Oh, isn't it?

That was him saying,

"I'll do it, but I'm not going to try my bestest."

LAUGHTER

He made it look like hard work.

MAISIE: Yeah. EDDIE: Yeah.

Every game was just painful to watch.

Go on, Kadeena! Don't hold back.

I just thought... I know what you mean, though, yeah.

Well, there were three exciting moments in the whole tournament.

Oh! Erm, Bellingham's kick?

Bellingham's kick. Bellingham's overhead.

What a moment that was.

Cole Palmer's equaliser in the final. Yeah.

And Saka's equaliser against Switzerland.

That's what we're saying is the three favourite ones.

Would you like to see my Euros highlight?

Yes. Yeah? Here we go.

I wish they'd take that screen down, then we'd see all the punters.

But if they took the screen down, they wouldn't be able to watch

the game, would they? they'd be looking at the back of our heads.

LAUGHTER They wouldn't turn up for that.

No, you... Definitely, no-one wants to see

the back of your head these days, do they, Frank? Absolutely not.

That's for sure. Erm...

LAUGHTER

Germany, are they...

Do you think they're stronger favourites

than perhaps we thought at the start...

LAUGHTER

If we zoom in here, you can actually see the moment

Frank Lampard's heart breaks. LAUGHTER

No-one wants to see the back of your head these days,

do they, Frank? Absolutely not.

That's for sure. Erm...

Germany, are they... Do you think they're stronger favourites

than perhaps we thought at the start...

LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE

He-he, he!

Also this year, former Republic of Ireland midfielder Lee Carsley

replaced Southgate as the interim manager.

What did he refuse to do before his first match in charge?

Sing the national anthem.

That's right, he said he didn't do it

because he wanted to stay focused on the match ahead.

SNICKERING

How into it did he think he was going to get?

Still singing it an hour later?

LAUGHTER

MAISIE: Well, that's the whole thing with Tuchel, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

Is he going to sing it or not?

And people really mind... Sing it!

Yeah. Sing our song!

Save our king!

All right. Well, listen, it's all right, man.

They've got their own. It's totally fine.

It's totally fine. He's already said, Tuchel,

he said, "Well, I don't know what I'm going to do

"because I recognise your anthem is very emotional."

You're like, "Yeah, I already don't trust your judgment."

LAUGHTER

MAISIE: Yeah!

So as we said, Thomas Tuchel is taking over as England manager.

Some fans, would you believe,

are not happy about it.

And they often ring talkSPORT.

LAUGHTER

Tuchel's in charge. What do you think?

ON PHONE: Oh, it's all over.

Done. That's me done.

55, been watching England,

supporting England since my grandad took my hand

and took me along to the first game at Wembley against Russia.

I'm a working man. I love my wife. I love my family.

I work all the overtime hours I have to -

to get tickets to go to a game and it all means nothing.

I'm not... I'm not....

I am not watching an England team with a German manager.

That's it. Done.

LAUGHTER

None of what he said was really relevant.

Why does it... Why does Tuchel being the English manager

maybe make you love your wife less?

LAUGHTER

I thought that.

So that was Gareth Southgate's failure to win the Euros.

Before becoming England manager,

Southgate was famous for missing a penalty

that knocked us out of the competition,

but he's now managed to put all that to bed

by getting us knocked out of four more.

Oh, Jesus!

Furious. Furious.

Sorry, Jon. Sorry, Jon!

Sorry, Jon.

One of England's iconic goals from the 2024 Euros

was scored by Ivan Toney when he took a penalty without looking.

Coincidentally, a technique first used

by Gareth Southgate against Germany.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Time now for the most prestigious award of the sporting calendar,

the inaugural Have I Got Sport For You

Alternative Sports Personality Of The Year.

It needs some work.

LAUGHTER

We've conducted a poll on X and after crunching the numbers

and counting literally tens of votes,

we have arrived at a top three.

Here is the shortlist.

Former Man United manager Erik ten Hag.

Head coach of the US women's national team Emma Hayes.

Boxer Daniel Dubois.

Retired cricketer Jimmy Anderson.

Paralympian Jodie Grinham

and Saudi cultural minister Turki Alalshikh.

So, who made the top three?

Maisie, Katarina and Eddie, you can go first.

Let's go Emma Hayes.

Emma Hayes. OK. Let's go Emma Hayes.

And why have you gone for Emma Hayes? Tell us.

Well, she's gone from Chelsea,

where she's reigned supreme... Mm-hm.

..to managing the women's US team.

And she went straight into the Olympics and immediately...

Yeah, took over, like, really late on. Yeah.

And then, then went on to win it. Oh, with, like, weeks to go!

Yeah. Yeah. Mad. Yeah.

See, Kamala Harris, it is possible.

LAUGHTER

Emma Hayes, you're quite right,

is the former manager of Chelsea Women

and now head coach of the United States women's national team.

And she's won her fifth successive Women's Super League title

with Chelsea, an Olympic gold medal with the US.

She's the only Chelsea manager not to be sacked after six months.

LAUGHTER

Can't get rid of her.

In October, Hayes won the Ballon d'Or

for Women's Coach Of The Year.

Which footballer is the award named after?

Uh, Johan Cruyff? Yep.

Top women's footballer Johan Cruyff is there.

And so Emma Hayes did make the podium in third spot.

So well done to you guys.

Very good.

APPLAUSE

Jon, Kadeena and Stuart, who do you want?

Shall we pick your friend?

Could do, couldn't we?

Yeah. OVERLAPPING SPEECH

We'll have Turki Alalshikh.

LAUGHTER

Go on. Very good.

Let's go for another beautiful, beautiful patriot, Jimmy Anderson.

Jimmy Anderson. OK.

So, in March, Jimmy Anderson became the third bowler in history

to get 700 Test match wickets.

Impressive stuff.

Stuart, you came close, though. How many did you get?

Ah, just over 600.

604. That's not bad at all.

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

Very good.

And I tell you what,

if you asked Jimmy Anderson, "Would you swap the last hundred

"to have got a six with your last ball with the bat

"and an over with your last ball?"

He would have absolutely done that.

That's a phenomenal... You know what?

I was going to ask you about that.

It was almost engineered, the end there. It was amazing.

Yeah. It was...

I actually don't think I could have written

the script myself, to be honest. It was an amazing way to finish.

Yeah. You know, England versus Australia,

which was a dream to play in anyway.

But, yeah, to win a game with my last ever ball taking a wicket

was pretty cool.

Let's go back to Jimmy Anderson.

How was his retirement announced?

Was he just not picked?

LAUGHTER

Yeah, I mean, actually, yeah. It was enforced.

He said he felt like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas,

ushered into a room under the impression

that he was going to get made, only to be shot.

Just the way you want to go.

Absolutely.

Stuart, if you were going through a spell of not taking any wickets...

Yeah. ..what would you do to try and turn it around?

What's the one thing you go for?

I feel like you know this and it's going to embarrass me.

Not at all. You wrote it.

Erm...

LAUGHTER

If I was going through a bad run of form,

I'd swap the aftershave I was using.

Yeah. You said...

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

LAUGHTER

SNICKERING, LAUGHTER

I like it.

It's a good book. It's a good book. Hey...

Look, look, I've written a book,

and it's hard to get to your word count. Yeah.

So fair play.

LAUGHTER

Jimmy Anderson did, in fact, make the podium in second spot.

So well done to you guys.

Very good.

APPLAUSE

Maisie, Katarina and Eddie, your turn.

Who do you fancy off our podium?

I mean, you're here, Eddie. I think we've...

I just think although Turki Alalshikh has made

a major financial contribution to boxing,

to fighters and to my company and myself,

it would actually take someone

erm, with a real lack of integrity to pick him.

So I'm going to pick him. Oh!

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

I'm sorry, I'm absolutely overruling you here.

And I'm going to go Daniel Dubois.

Oh, well, that's it. I'm going.

For people who don't know, what's he done this year?

Beat someone up and won lots of money. Yeah.

Oh, it's amazing, really.

He beat Anthony Joshua... He beat Anthony Joshua.

..in five rounds to retain his IBF heavyweight title

at Wembley Stadium, despite having been

the pre-betting underdog going into the fight.

Yeah. Yeah, thanks for that picture.

Erm...

Marvellous.

It wasn't all bad news, though, Eddie.

Katie Taylor brought a bit of dignity

to the recent Tyson-Jake Paul clash in November.

You must have been pleased with that.

Oh, she's an ultimate hero of mine.

She's an amazing athlete.

She won gold at London 2012 for the first time that it was allowed.

She's undisputed at lightweight.

Undisputed at super lightweight.

I think she's the greatest athlete of all time from Ireland.

I love that.

APPLAUSE

I didn't know that. It's amazing.

Did anybody stay up to watch the Mike Tyson-Jake Paul fight?

Even Tyson didn't.

LAUGHTER

You can say what you want about Mike Tyson, though,

he is the life and soul of a party.

You know, he's one of nature's sunbeams, isn't he?

Here he is, being interviewed by a bright-eyed TikToker.

So after such a successful career,

what type of legacy would you like to leave behind

when it's all said and done?

Well, I don't know.

I don't believe in the word legacy.

I think that's another word for ego.

It means absolutely nothing to me.

I'm just passing through.

I'm going to die and it's going to be over.

Who cares about legacy after that?

What... What a big ego.

So, "I'm going to die, I want people to think that I'm this.

"I'm great. I'm..."

No. We're nothing. When you're dead, you're dust.

We're absolutely nothing.

Our legacy is nothing.

Well, thank you so much for sharing that.

LAUGHTER

He gives quite a long answer as well, doesn't he?

Mmm. To be fair, it's quite a wordy answer.

He should have ended with, "Sorry to chew your ear off, but..."

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

In 2021, Anthony Joshua and our own Eddie Hearn announced

a new promotional deal to last until the end of the boxer's career,

which turned out to be the fifth round against Dubois.

Oh!

LAUGHTER

And if you know Anthony, please tell him I'm really sorry.

Unfortunately, Daniel did not make the final three, so bad luck there.

Next guess, please, Jon's team.

I mean, personally, I've been very inspired

by what Erik ten Hag has achieved this year.

As a Leeds United fan?

As a Leeds United fan,

I think he should have been given longer to finish the job.

In October, Erik was sacked by Manchester United

with the club 14th in the Premier League. Yeah.

LAUGHING: With just three wins from their opening nine matches,

totalling two and a half years of bringing joy

to the rest of football.

Let's remind ourselves of the moment that the bubble burst for Erik.

LAUGHTER

After completing his 1.25 billion takeover of United,

Sir Jim Ratcliffe sacked another high profile name

in a cost cutting exercise.

Who was that?

Oh, Alex Ferguson!

It was Alex Ferguson. Yes. Yes.

Sir Alex, who's been milking the club for two million a year

for the last 11 years...

LAUGHTER

..just to sit in the stands

with a face like a boiling vat of tomato soup.

Erm...

Can you name any other cost cutting measures

they've implemented so far?

Yeah. All the celebration parties, they've been cancelled.

Yes!

Well, the trophy parade, that's gone. They're not doing that.

This is the first time I've seen proper glee in your face.

Yes. Allegedly, there have been over 250 redundancies,

and agency staff no longer receive a complimentary lunch box

for their shift.

MAISIE: Oh!

You wait till Marcus Rashford hears about this.

LAUGHTER

Fuming. Fuming!

So that was Erik ten Hag,

who was sacked by Manchester United in October.

People say he was a bad manager,

but in his defence was Harry Maguire.

So what was he supposed to do? LAUGHTER

Erik did make it onto the podium in no less than the top spot.

MAISIE: Balls! So well done to you guys.

Let's see the final line up on the podium.

Third place Emma Hayes, second Jimmy Anderson

and top for Erik ten Hag!

And now, at last, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for.

It's the dartboard of minority sports!

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

In this round, we'll be combining the pure skill of

professional darts with cutting edge CGI

to ask our teams to identify stories

from some of the more niche sporting events this year,

inspired by the Doge of Darts, Luke Littler.

When you hear someone's breathed new life into darts,

you just assume it's going to be a paramedic.

LAUGHTER

Jon, do you want to throw a dart?

Who at?

LAUGHTER

I'm going to throw it like Mensur Suljovic.

CHUCKLING

OOHING, LAUGHTER

Oh! Look at that magic!

Any idea what sport that is?

MAISIE: Oh, wait, he's got something between his legs!

It looks like Quidditch, doesn't it?

KATARINA: It's like the broom. Like a...

What do you reckon, Jon's team?

I think I heard you say it. Q-Quidditch?

That's exactly right. It was Quidditch.

Well done!

It's actually called Quadball now.

Each team has seven players on the pitch.

Can you name the four positions? Go for it.

You've got your seekers, your beaters, your chasers?

Chasers. And keeper, right?

Did I say that? No. That's the other one.

Keeper. And the keeper! Yeah. Well done! Fantastic!

APPLAUSE

There's also, interestingly...

Never has so much work been done by the word interestingly.

Erm...

LAUGHTER

There is also an impartial role of a flag runner

whose sole job is to run on the pitch 20 minutes into the game

in all yellow with a tennis ball attached to their shorts,

acting as the snitch.

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

Ho-ho!

That does happen to you at a certain age.

LAUGHTER

Eddie's thinking,

"Can I sell this to Saudi?" EDDIE: No, I'm not!

APPLAUSE

I was thinking...

Hello?

Is that Turki Alalshikh?

Your Excellency? Hello?

Gone. He's gone.

I feel like they'd have more beaters.

EXCLAMATIONS LAUGHTER

Very good.

The creator, Alex Benepe, gave a Ted talk...

I mean, they will give Ted talks to anybody.

..where he made a certain claim about Quadball.

What was it?

He'd have said something ludicrous like,

"One day this will be at Wembley,"

or, "This will be the most popular sport ever." Olympic sport.

Do you know what? I'm going to give you a point there, Jon,

because he actually said...

Wow.

That is a man after my own heart!

LAUGHTER

That's right.

Quadball, which recently changed its name from Quidditch

due to JK Rowling's outspoken views

because apparently people who run around clapping,

pretending they're wizards on broomsticks can feel shame.

LAUGHTER

Here we go. Here we go.

OK.

Very good. Shall we have another throw of a dart?

Maisie? We have got an audience.

Just don't...

Oh, you go...

JASON LAUGHS

MAISIE: Oh!

EDDIE: Oh, my God.

Yes!

I've been to this. You've been to it?!

I've been to this. What is it?

It's professional hobbyhorsing.

Oh, my God... And it's every bit as insane in real life.

We filmed a pilot for this show,

and we turned up to this sports hall where all of this stuff was set up,

and then this woman came in.

She had these three hobby horses, right?

Two of them were like jet black horses.

One was sort of tan coloured, and she'd named them.

She went, "This is Miss Chief,"

like as a play on words.

Oh, I see, yeah. Like, "This is Miss Chief.

"This one is Miss Understanding."

So I went to the third one.

I was like, "Oh, this one could be Miss Demeanour."

And she looked at me, dead at, and she went,

"Well, no, cos they're not siblings."

LAUGHTER

I can die happy because I've seen this sport.

Well, luckily we can all die happy because we've got a clip.

Oh, yes!

LAUGHTER

I love it.

APPLAUSE

I think I could be good at that, you know?

Yeah.

That is honestly the narrative arc we all want.

KJT, post heptathlete then becomes professional hobbyhorse...

If it's in 2028, maybe I can get a gold there.

Yeah! Oh, my God.

Absolutely.

How do you... How do you think it works?

What's the... We're sort of cynical about it,

but now I think about it, it's more of a sport

than actual horse sport because the horse is doing most of the work.

They're doing all of that.

STUART: Yeah, but why bother with the horse?

Well, you'd look ridiculous without the fake horse.

LAUGHTER

Cos people need some dignity!

Time now for the missing words round.

I'm going to show you a quote, post, or a bit of punditry from this year,

and I want you to fill in the gaps.

First up, what's missing from this quote?

What? KATARINA: I think I know this.

It's, "they can qualify for an Olympic Games."

Yeah. You're joking? Exactly right.

No!

Oh, my God.

That was after the break dancing.

LAUGHTER

May as well say, "One in four Brits are overconfident men."

That's a bit less...

That feels like that could also be said.

I really wish that, like,

they would take just one random person from the crowd

and put them into an event.

What is it, ten lanes or something?

If you put, like, just Jeff.

Yeah! You know what I mean?

I think that's a good idea.

And you just get picked at random for it. Yeah.

Even like in events like high jump and stuff,

that would be really fun to watch.

I just thought of another one.

Like the proper athletes could just have one of those

fake horses in between their legs and maybe, like,

still beat the random Jeff.

I would watch that.

Yeah, we both do the high jump,

but you've got to have a hobby horse!

For the next one, can you tell me,

according to this BBC Sport post, Birmingham City manager

Wayne Rooney sacked by...

JON: Everyone he's ever worked for.

LAUGHTER

And by the time this goes out, Plymouth as well, I think.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Birmingham City is the clue as well.

Think of the Midlands.

A Peaky Blinder?

I'm going to give you a point for that, Stuart. Oh, yeah? No!

Well done. MAISIE: What?!

"By order of the Peaky Blinders."

Very good.

When you said think of the Midlands, my brain went,

"..by Alison Hammond."

Yeah.

What's missing from this line from Eddie Hearn's book

Relentless - 12 Rounds To Success.

Do you know it?

He didn't write it. What are you talking about?

LAUGHTER

Take in less than 20%?

Oh! Oh!

LAUGHTER

That's very good.

It's something to do with journalists.

Not once in my career have I had notes in a press conference.

That's exactly right. Well done.

APPLAUSE

Spoken at a press conference with notes.

Eddie's book is a lot like his boxers.

Once you put it down, it stays down.

LAUGHTER

Yeah...

LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH

Cheap now? Is it? Very cheap, yeah.

Genuinely saw it for 2.99 the other day.

Ooh!

Have you ever seen one of your DVDs in the charity shop?

I took them in.

LAUGHTER

Ha-ha, ha!

WHISTLE BLOWS

Oh, that is the end of the show.

And the final scores are

Maisie's team with eight points,

Jon's team with nine.

Well done.

All right.

APPLAUSE

Thanks to our teams -

Jon Richardson, Stuart Broad and Kadeena Cox.

Maisie Adam, Eddie Hearn and Katarina Johnson-Thompson.

CHEERING

Before we go, there's just time to tell you...

In Manchester, one enthusiastic City fan regrets

breaking into the training ground to get closer to Jack Grealish.

No! Yes!

CHEERING

LAUGHTER

At his future son-in-law's stag do,

Roy Keane arrives a bit late.

# Sweet Caroline

GROUP: # Dun, dun, dun

ALL: # Good times never... #

MAISIE: Oh, my God!

And there's some good news for British sport

as we finally win our first medal

at the World Recycling Championships.

CHEERING

Goodnight.

WHISTLE BLOWS

WHISTLE BLOWS