Original subtitles

EXCUSE ME.

I'M GONNA NEED TO SEE SOME I.D.

WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?

I'M SEAN FINNERTY. I OWN THIS BAR.

YOU'RE NOT ON THE LIST.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

HEY! OH, GOD! OK!

OK! EDDIE! EDDIE!

OH, HEY, HEY, HE'S COOL.

HE'S COOL.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

THAT'S RAUL. HE'S OUR NEW BOUNCER.

WHAT DO WE NEED A BOUNCER FOR?

CROWD CONTROL.

OK, ED, NO. NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

YOU CAN'T JUST GO HIRE PEOPLE WITHOUT CONSULTING ME FIRST, OK?

I OWN HALF THIS BAR.

YOU GO AROUND MAKING A LOT OF DECISIONS

WITHOUT CONSULTING ME, OK? LIKE YESTERDAY.

OH, YOU MEAN WHEN I ORDERED MORE BEER BECAUSE WE RAN OUT?

YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.

WHAT IF I'D WANTED TO GO A DIFFERENT WAY?!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

RED BOOT.

HEY, SEAN, WHAT TIME--

TELL HIM I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T DO IT.

WOULD YOU HOLD ON A SECOND?

I CAN'T DO IT!

HONEY, I NEED YOU TO WATCH THE BOYS TONIGHT.

COME ON, MOM. I DON'T NEED A BABY-SITTER.

I'LL BABY-SIT JIMMY.

NO, BABY, TONIGHT'S NO GOOD.

THE SEX PISTOLS ARE PLAYING OVER AT ROSELAND.

WELL, I'M SORRY, HONEY,

BUT I'M MEETING MY STUDY GROUP TONIGHT.

OH, GOD, BABY, DID YOU HEAR ME?

THE SEX PISTOLS!

YOU CANNOT ASK ME TO MISS THE BAND THAT KILLED DISCO.

LOOK, I HATE DISCO AS MUCH AS YOU DO, BABE,

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

WHY--WHY--WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STUDY AT HOME?

I'VE ALREADY TRIED THAT.

WAIT! WAIT! LET ME GET A PEN.

OW.

OH!

WAIT! I'M TRYING TO STUDY!

MOM! I'M ON THE PHONE.

OH, MAN! OH, MAN!

YOU IDIOT! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

YOU DID IT, TOO!

YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T LIGHT MINE.

GUYS, I'M TRYING TO STUDY.

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

Man: I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!

CRAP!

HONEY, JUST-- JUST GIVE ME 5 MINUTES.

I ONLY NEED 2.

CLAUDIA, PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO MISS THIS CONCERT, OK?

I PROMISED MYSELF IF I EVER HAD THE CHANCE

TO SEE THE SEX PISTOLS AGAIN,

I WOULD NOT PASS OUT THIS TIME.

LOOK, I THINK THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE

THAN HAVING JOHNNY ROTTEN SPIT ON YOU.

WOW. I--I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE.

I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT, SEAN.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? LEAVE THE BOYS ALONE?

OK, COME ON. IT'S NOT "THE BOYS."

IT'S A BOY AND A TEENAGER, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T NEED A BABY-SITTER ANYMORE.

THIS IS HUMILIATING.

SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY NEEDS A NAP.

COME ON, SEAN. THIS IS A REALLY BIG TEST.

I MEAN, YOU KNEW WHEN I STARTED COLLEGE

THERE WERE GONNA BE SACRIFICES.

I KNOW. I KNOW THAT WE WOULD HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES. I KNOW.

YES. BECAUSE MY EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT.

I KNOW, BUT CAN'T LILY WATCH THE BOYS?

I DON'T KNOW. LET ME ASK HER.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

LILY, CAN YOU WATCH THE BOYS TONIGHT?

NO! I DON'T THINK SHE CAN.

BRAD AND I HAVE A SCIENCE PROJECT DUE TOMORROW.

IT'S DUE TOMORROW!

SORRY, BABE.

OK, OK, BABY.

OH! OK, BABY. BABY, I GOTTA GO.

UH, EDDIE!

UH, EDDIE!

[WHISTLE, BUZZER]

HONEY, I'M SORRY,

WOULD YOU MIND TURNING THE GAME DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT?

OK.

JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE.

LITTLE MORE.

BABY, I CAN HARDLY HEAR IT.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU PUT ON THE CLOSED CAPTIONS?

I--I DON'T WANT TO READ.

HONEY, I'M SORRY.

I JUST HAVE A LOT OF STUFF TO LEARN BEFORE MY EXAM.

ALL RIGHT.

HONEY, COME ON. THE CHEWING?

OH, GOD.

YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA JUST GO CHEW IN THE KITCHEN

WHERE A MAN CAN LET LOOSE!

GOD!

UH, EXCUSE ME. WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

JUST GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.

LOOKS OK IN HERE, BOSS.

EDDIE, WHY ARE YOU SNEAKING THROUGH THE BACK DOOR WITH THE BOUNCER?

JUST HORSING AROUND.

PLAYING A GAME...

WITH THE KIDS. YOU'RE IT!

WHAT? TAG! YOU'RE IT.

RAUL, CHASE HIM.

OH, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!

HEY. HEY! HEY!

WHY--WHY-- WHY IS THAT GUY HERE AND NOT OVER AT THE BAR?

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. BECAUSE HE'S NOT A BOUNCER, OK?

HE'S A BODYGUARD.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A BODYGUARD?

IT'S COMPLICATED. YOU KNOW MY FRIEND STAN?

THE GUY WITH THE BEACH HOUSE IN JERSEY,

HE TOOK US TO THAT KNICKS GAME?

OH, YEAH. YEAH. NICE GUY?

THE OTHER NIGHT HE CHASED ME DOWN THE STREET WITH A HATCHET.

WHAT?! WHY?

WE WERE ARGUING ABOUT MONEY,

AND HE SAYS, "EDDIE, YOU OWE ME 2 GRAND,"

AND I SAID, "STAN, WHAT'S WITH THE HATCHET?"

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. YOU GONNA LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER?

WELL, I'M WORKING TO RESOLVE THE SITUATION.

OK, JUST DO IT FAST, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH MY KIDS PLAYING WITH YOUR STUPID BODY--

OH, SORRY, SIR.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE.

HEY, LIL. HOW WAS SCHOOL?

GREAT.

GREAT? HOW CAN IT BE GREAT?

I'VE BEEN GIVING YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT.

REALLY?

YEAH. I'VE BEEN DOING IT ALL DAY.

HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU WERE BEING SO QUIET.

THAT'S THE POINT OF THE SILENT TREATMENT.

OK! DOES THE SILENT TREATMENT HAVE TO BE SO LOUD?

I'M SORRY, MRS. FINNERTY.

OK, WHAT'S GOING ON, GUYS?

WELL, MY LAB PARTNER AND I HAD A PAPER DUE TODAY

ON THE STRUCTURE OF DNA.

I KNOW. THAT'S WHY SHE HAD TO GO TO STUDY

AT THE COLLEGE LIBRARY LAST NIGHT.

WHICH I DID! YEAH. FOR A NANOSECOND.

OK, ON PAGE 4 I THINK WE SHOULD USE THE DIAGRAM

SHOWING POLYPEPTIDE BONDS.

YEAH. THAT'LL JAZZ IT UP.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO.

HEY, SARA. NO, I CAN TALK.

I'M AT THE COLLEGE LIBRARY.

SHH! SHH!

SORRY. WHERE ARE YOU?

SERIOUSLY?

WHICH DORM IS IT?

NO, NO. THAT SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH FUN,

BUT I HAVE TO WRITE MY DUMB PAPER.

SHH! SHH! SHH!

I SAID I HAVE TO WRITE MY DUMB PAPER!

SHH!

OK, I GOTTA GO.

SOME PEOPLE ARE BEING VERY RUDE!

SHH! SHH!

ALL RIGHTY.

RIBONUCLEIC ACID.

RIBONUCLEIC.

RIBO, RIBO, RIBO.

RIBO.

BRAD, CAN WE TAKE A QUICK STUDY BREAK?

LILY, LISTEN. I CAN'T DO THIS.

OK, THAT PAPER'S DUE TOMORROW.

AND I'M GONNA GO FINISH IT RIGHT NOW WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.

OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, BRAD.

WHAT?

OW!

DUDE, YOU MIND IF I HIT THAT?

YES, I DO.

OH.

I KNOW, BRAD, BUT YOU WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN

WITH ALL THE DNA AND THE DOUBLE HELIXES AND ALL THAT,

AND I FELT LIKE I WAS HOLDING YOU BACK.

YOU WERE AT A PARTY?!

WELL, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, OK?

DON'T WORRY. I WASN'T DRINKING.

NO, NO, NO, NO. I WAS THINKING

THAT YOU WEREN'T STUDYING.

OK, YOU'RE RIGHT.

YES! YES, I AM RIGHT,

AND I'M SORRY, BUT YOU ARE GROUNDED.

WHAT?! REALLY?! YES.

YOU SHOULD USE YOUR MOTHER AS AN EXAMPLE.

SHE, UNLIKE YOU, TAKES HER STUDYING SERIOUSLY.

OK, DADDY, I WILL TRY.

DO YOU KNOW THAT THAT POOR WOMAN

WAS OUT TILL 2:00 IN THE MORNING LAST NIGHT STUDYING?!

OK, I GOT IT, DAD. I GOT IT.

AND WHILE YOU'RE GALLIVANTING AROUND TOWN--

WHOO--PARTYING DOWN,

SHE IS TRYING TO BETTER HERSELF.

YOU SHOULD USE HER AS A ROLE--

A ROLE MODEL?!

OK, DAD. THERE IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW.

YOUR MOTHER WAS THERE?

YUP.

BUT SHE WAS JUST PASSING THROUGH WITH HER BOOKS

ON THE WAY SOMEWHERE ELSE, RIGHT?

ON THE WAY TO THE KEG.

I SEE.

WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME.

CLAUDIA?

BABY, I DON'T WANT TO INTERRUPT YOUR HOMEWORK,

BUT I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANNA KNOW

THAT LILY--SHE, UH, SHE WASN'T STUDYING LAST NIGHT.

SHE WASN'T?

NO. NO.

AND IT GETS WORSE.

SHE WENT TO A PARTY.

WOW. YEAH.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH. YEAH. I DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT EITHER,

BUT BRAD TOLD ME.

BUT, YOU KNOW, LOOK. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU JUST GO BACK TO YOUR WORK.

I'M GONNA GO GET THE WHOLE STORY OUT OF HER.

NO! NO, NO, NO.

NO, LET ME TALK TO HER,

'CAUSE--'CAUSE I AM SO MAD.

OH, HEY. YEAH. YOU'RE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR,

BECAUSE, I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF PERSON, YOU KNOW,

WOULD SAY, "HEY, I HAVE A BIG EMERGENCY STUDY THING,"

AND THEN-- AND THEN LEAVE ME TO BABY-SIT.

WHAT KIND OF PERSON WOULD DO THAT

TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING

THAT THEY SAY THEY CARE ABOUT?

WE HAD A DEAL!

HE WAS GONNA GROUND ME!

AAH! WELL, GUESS WHAT, MISSY.

NOW YOU ARE GROUNDED!

YOU ARE BOTH GROUNDED!

YOU CAN'T GROUND ME!

WELL, OK, I GUESS I CAN'T,

BUT I SHOULD, BECAUSE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE

WITH YOUR STUDY GROUP LAST NIGHT!

I WAS! WE WERE STUDYING AT A DORM,

WHICH IS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS,

NOT FOR HIGH SCHOOL JUNIORS.

OR THEIR MOTHERS.

I AM A FRESHMAN!

NEITHER OF YOU TWO SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE LAST NIGHT.

I WENT THERE TO STUDY!

BUT YOU KNOW HOW I NEED THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT,

AND STUDYING IN THE DORM WAS A VERY BAD IDEA.

[MUFFLED MUSIC]

OK, SO THE UNDERLYING PRINCIPLES

OF A FREE-MARKET ECONOMY--

IS IT JUST ME, OR IS THAT MUSIC INCREDIBLY DISTRACTING?

THEY DO IT ALL THE TIME.

THIS IS GREAT.

CAN'T STUDY AT HOME. EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND

SOMETHING'S GOTTA BE COOKED, CLEANED, FOLDED, OR PUNISHED.

CAN'T STUDY HERE AT A COLLEGE,

'CAUSE WE GOTTA LISTEN TO THAT CRAP

COMING THROUGH THE WALLS.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA GO TELL THOSE IDIOTS TO TURN IT DOWN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

STUDYING.

ME, TOO.

DEAL.

I JUST NEEDED TO BLOW OFF SOME STEAM, SO I HAD A COUPLE OF BEERS.

YEAH, YEAH. AND THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR JELL-O.

YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND.

THERE IS A LOT OF PRESSURE WITH THIS TEST COMING UP

AND THEN THERE'S A PAPER--

NO, NO, NO, NO, YOU ARE RIGHT, BABY. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND.

HOW CAN I UNDERSTAND? I'M NOT THE BIG OLD COLLEGE STUDENT!

NAW!

SEAN, I WENT DOWNSTAIRS--

NO, NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, BABY! PARTY ON WITH SIGMA CHI, MAMA!

* BUSTED!

[BASKETBALL GAME PLAYS LOUDLY]

HEY, SEAN, IS THE GAME ALMOST OVER?

YEAH, THIS ONE IS, BABE.

THIS ONE?

YEAH, NEXT THEY'RE SHOWING THE '93 SUPER BOWL ON CLASSIC SPORTS.

I THINK THE BILLS JUST MIGHT TAKE IT THIS TIME!

HONEY, SINCE IT'S NOT THE SUPER BOWL,

WOULD IT BE TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR YOU TO TURN IT DOWN A LITTLE BIT?

YOU KNOW, IT WOULD, AND HERE'S WHY.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF SILENT GAMES AROUND HERE, LATELY,

BUT IN LIGHT OF RECENT REVELATIONS,

I THINK THIS VOLUME IS JUST ABOUT RIGHT.

I SEE.

I'LL JUST STUDY IN THE KITCHEN.

I CAN TURN IT UP IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT IN THERE.

GREAT. I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

[BASKETBALL GAME BLARING]

WHY'S THE TV SO LOUD?

CLAUDIA LIED TO ME, SO I'M BEING AN ASS.

HEY, GOOD NEWS. YOU KNOW THAT GUY STAN

WHO THOUGHT I SLEPT WITH HIS WIFE? THAT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.

I THOUGHT YOU OWED HIM MONEY.

NO, THEY FOUND THE CAR. WHAT CAR?

WE COULD GO AROUND AND AROUND WITH THE CAR AND THE MONEY AND THE WIFE

AND THE IVORY IN THE TRUNK-- THE POINT IS...

MY LIFE'S NO LONGER IN DANGER.

OH, SO, UH...RAUL?

RAUL, WATCH THE FRONT DOOR.

WALK WITH ME.

NOW, LISTEN, I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID

ABOUT US BEING PARTNERS AND ABOUT SHARING RESPONSIBILITIES,

AND I THINK I WAS WRONG TO NOT INCLUDE YOU IN THE PROCESS,

SO I'M GONNA LET YOU FIRE RAUL.

OH. OH. YEAH.

BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED TO.

WELL, HE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE.

YEAH. HE IS WHERE I LIVE.

YEAH, BUT YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER AT THESE THINGS

THAN I AM, AND HE RESPECTS YOU.

OH, HE DOES, DOES HE?

YEAH. HE TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME.

HE SAYS SEAN THIS AND SEAN THAT,

AND, "I HOPE THAT SEAN'S THE ONE WHO, YOU KNOW,

TELLS ME IF THERE'S EVER ANY BAD NEWS."

OK. I'LL DO THIS. I'LL DO THIS ON ONE CONDITION.

THEN YOU STAND HERE AND ADMIT IN FRONT OF ME AND GOD RIGHT NOW

THAT YOU ARE A COWARD.

I'M A COWARD.

THANKS.

[MAKES DISGUSTED SOUND]

HEY, LILY?

OH, JEEZ, AH--

HEY, YOU WANT ME TO TAKE CARE OF HIM, BOSS?

[STRANGLED VOICE] I DON'T WANNA BE TAKEN CARE OF!

NO, LET HIM GO. HE'S A FRIEND.

CAN I STILL TALK?

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

YES, BRAD. BRAD, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

RAUL, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR JUST A MOMENT?

IS THAT OK, BOSS?

ABSOLUTELY. HE'S YOUR BOSS, TOO.

WHATEVER HE SAYS, THAT'S FINE BY ME.

EVEN IF I DISAGREED WITH IT, IT'S FINE.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, BRAD?

NO. WE NEED TO TALK.

I GOT THE GRADE ON OUR REPORT.

AND?

B-PLUS. HOLY CRAP!

I KNOW! THAT SUCKS! THAT'S AWESOME!

B-PLUS IS AWESOME? WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN?

IN THIS WORLD WHERE I SUCK AT SCIENCE.

OK, LILY, THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO SAY THIS,

BUT, UM... YOU AND ME, IT'S--IT'S--

IT'S JUST NOT WORKING OUT, OK?

WE WANT DIFFERENT THINGS.

OH, MY GOD.

ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?

[YELLS] NO! NO!

NO! ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?!

NO!

DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!

THEN WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?

I JUST DON'T WANNA BE YOUR STUDY PARTNER ANYMORE, OK?

I'M THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE SCIENCENAUTS.

BUT, BRAD, YOU'VE ALWAYS HELPED ME.

I HAVEN'T PAID ATTENTION IN SCIENCE

SINCE, LIKE, THE NINTH GRADE.

LILY, YOU'LL DO FINE, OK?

MAYBE SOME DAY YOU'LL THANK ME.

OK, OK. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

COOL.

YEAH, LATER TONIGHT, MY PARENTS ARE GOING OUT,

SO IF YOU WANNA... MAYBE COME OVER...

ARE YOU KIDDING? NOW I'VE GOTTA STUDY MY BUTT OFF TONIGHT.

SO THAT'S WHEN I STABBED HIM.

WOW. YEAH. WELL, I MEAN, IT WAS EITHER HIM OR YOU, RIGHT?

NO.

THAT'S A REALLY FUNNY STORY.

THAT'S A REALLY AMUSING STORY, YOU KNOW?

UH...YEAH! WOW.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?

NO. THERE'S A LITTLE OTHER THING.

RAUL, PLEASE. AHEM.

YOU HAVE BEEN DOING A GREAT JOB.

I MEAN--

A GREAT JOB. AND THE WAY YOU HANDLED BRAD WAS SOMETHING.

THAT WAS INCREDIBLE THE WAY YOU MANHANDLED HIM.

BUT I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE ECONOMY.

[LAUGHS] YOU KNOW, AND, UH,

AND NOW THAT THE THREAT TO EDDIE'S LIFE IS OVER,

IT JUST SEEMS THAT WE PROBABLY DON'T REALLY NEED YOUR SERVICES ANYMORE.

SEVERANCE PAY. HA HA! IT'S COMPLETELY FAIR OF YOU TO ASK FOR THAT.

I JUST, UH... YEAH, SURE.

SEVERANCE PAY. HOW ABOUT, YOU KNOW...

50...$50?

WOULD THAT-- WOULD THAT BE GOOD?

OH! AH. OK.

LET'S JUST MAKE IT AN EVEN, UH...

56.

'CAUSE THAT'S--OK! AND, UH...

WHOO! PLEASURE KNOWING YOU, AND GOOD LUCK.

I'M GONNA NEED NEXT THURSDAY OFF.

YEAH, YOU CAN HAVE EVERY DAY OFF.

NO. JUST NEXT THURSDAY. I HAVE TO GO TO A WEDDING.

OK.

ENJOY THE WEDDING.

I'LL--I'LL SEE YOU FRIDAY BRIGHT AND EARLY, HUH?

WHAT THE HELL, MAN?

WHAT?!

I COULD HAVE GIVEN HIM THURSDAY OFF.

YEAH, WELL, THIS GUY WAS TELLING ME SOME STORY--

HE STABBED A BABOSO IN THE NECK JUST FOR LOOKIN' IN HIS CELL!

SO WHAT?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A BABOSO IS!

UH, SEAN?

I REALLY HESITATE TO ASK,

BUT THURSDAY NIGHT I HAVE MY ECON CLASS,

AND I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU'D BE HOME TO BABY-SIT.

I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT?

DID YOU SAY CLASS OR ALL-NIGHT RAGER?

THAT'S KIND OF WHAT I WAS EXPECTING.

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN LEND YOU MY KEY CHAIN BOTTLE OPENER.

YES. I WOULD NEED THAT IF I WERE GOING TO A PARTY,

BUT I SAID CLASS.

OR ONE OF THOSE HATS WITH, UH...

WITH THE STRAWS AND THE BEER--

YEAH! WHOO-HOO! YEAH!

'CAUSE I PARTY ALL THE TIME!

IT'S BEEN 2 DAYS. COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE IT A REST?

I COULD, BABY, IF I WAS A BIGGER PERSON.

I JUST NEED TO KNOW IF I NEED TO GET A BABYSITTER.

OK...STOP SAYING I NEED A BABYSITTER, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER.

SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY'S A LITTLE CRANKY.

LISTEN, JIMMY, WE KNOW YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE.

WE JUST FEEL BETTER KNOWING THERE'S AN ADULT AROUND.

WELL, I COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE DONE WORSE

THAN THE BABYSITTER WE HAD THE OTHER NIGHT.

[TV PLAYS]

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

THE NAKED LADY ON YOUR ARM.

THAT'S MY MOTHER. SORRY.

I'M TELLING YOU, IF YOU FIND THE CAR,

YOU'LL FIND THE IVORY.

WHOA. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

TO THE BATHROOM.

GO TO THE BATHROOM DOWN HERE.

WE DON'T HAVE A BATHROOM DOWN HERE.

IMPROVISE.

I DON'T WANT TO IMPROVISE. I JUST WANNA PEE.

THE BOSS TOLD ME TO KEEP AN EYE ON YOU.

THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.

UNCLE EDDIE?

[YELLING] LISTEN TO YOUR BABYSITTER!

YOU LET RAUL BABY-SIT?!

NO, I LET EDDIE BABY-SIT!

I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GONNA BRING SHAWSHANK!

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BABY-SITTING!

I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER.

OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU WIN, JIMMY.

TAKE HENRY UPSTAIRS AND JUST BABY-SIT.

YOU'RE MINE!

SEAN, UM, WHERE WERE YOU THE OTHER NIGHT?

I THINK WE BOTH KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION.

[SPITS]

AFTER ALL THE GRIEF YOU GAVE ME ABOUT STUDYING, YOU WENT TO

Both: SEX PISTOLS CONCERT!

THAT'S RIGHT! HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA HARP ON THAT, WOMAN?!

I JUST FOUND OUT!

AH, GOD, JUST GRIND IT INTO THE GROUND, WHY DON'T YOU?

I WANNA LET YOU KNOW SOMETHING.

I HAVE ALREADY FORGIVEN YOU FOR THE JELL-O SHOTS!

WHEN I LEFT THIS HOUSE, I ACTUALLY WENT TO DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE!

OH, MY GOD! THERE YOU GO AGAIN. WHAT?

PLAYIN' THE COLLEGE CARD. 'CAUSE ANYTHING I DO,

NO MATTER HOW UNIMPORTANT IT IS TO YOU,

YOU THINK IT'S NOTHIN' 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOTTA STUDY!

WELL, I'M SORRY. SCHOOL IS IMPORTANT.

YEAH, I KNOW. BUT I DO IMPORTANT THINGS, TOO, BABY. OK?

LIKE WHEN I...

GOD, I CAN'T THINK OF 'EM RIGHT NOW 'CAUSE OF THE PRESSURE--

I KNOW. I KNOW YOU DO IMPORTANT THINGS.

YOU...

OK, I'M DRAWING A BLANK.

BUT WE AGREE THEY EXIST.

ABSOLUTELY. IT'S JUST THIS COLLEGE THING IS REALLY TOUGH.

I ALWAYS REGRETTED MISSING OUT ON THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE.

BUT NOW THAT I'M THERE,

I REALIZE I MISSED OUT ON A LOT OF THE FUN STUFF, TOO.

BABY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE GETTING THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

MAYBE I'M JUST A LITTLE JEALOUS, BUT...

I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU FOR GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.

THANK YOU.

OH, MY GOD! YES! I TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

YES! THAT'S IMPORTANT! VERY IMPORTANT!

THERE'S GARBAGE PILIN' UP RIGHT NOW!

I'M ON IT, BABY!

THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

YEAH, WELL, EDDIE, ALL RIGHT.

I'M PRETTY PROUD OF YOU, MAN.

I CAN BE WRONG WHEN I HAVE TO BE.

MR. FINNERTY!

ARMANDO, LET-- LET HIM BY.

SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT ARMANDO THERE?

I DON'T KNOW. WE'LL--WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT, YOU KNOW?

HEY, ARMANDO, UH...

SEAN WANTS TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU.