Original subtitles

OH, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU COOK BEFORE.

IT'S NOT COOKING. IT'S DIP.

A LITTLE BIT OF SOUR CREAM, A LITTLE SOUP MIX.

* A LITTLE BIT OF SOUP MIX IN MY DIP *

* A LITTLE BIT OF SOUR CREAM ON MY CHIP *

NO. NO, HENRY, NO! DON'T START.

WHAT? WHAT? I THINK IT'S CUTE.

IT'S NOT CUTE. THIS KID HAS NO "OFF" SWITCH.

* A LITTLE BIT OF HOPE IS WHAT I LIKE *

* A LITTLE BIT OF EDDIE ON A BIKE *

* DA DA DA DA DA

HEY, DADDY.

HEY, LIL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING. BRAD'S WORKING LATE AGAIN.

FOURTH NIGHT THIS WEEK.

I'M SORRY. WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME?

SURE!

ALL RIGHT, COME HERE, LITTLE GIRL.

HA HA HA.

THIS IS NICE, WE DON'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

MM-HMM.

[SNIFFS] WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

[SNIFFS]

OH, WHAT'D YOU EAT?

CHIPS.

OHH, IT SMELLS LIKE FEET.

DON'T YOU HAVE A PARTY OR SOMETHING

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO TO?

WELL, I DON'T LIKE GOING OUT WITHOUT BRAD.

IT'S NOT AS MUCH FUN.

Lily: THE LIGHT'S GREEN.

THE LIGHT IS GREEN.

THE LIGHT'S GREEN!

NEVER MIND. IT'S RED AGAIN.

IT'S SO FRUSTRATING.

HE'S MY BOYFRIEND AND I NEVER GET TO SEE HIM.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING ELSE ON!

OH, GOD, I FORGOT HOW SPECIAL IT WAS

SPENDING TIME WITH YOU.

I'M GONNA GO ONLINE.

OH, HEY, ED. HOW'D IT GO WITH THE FIRE MARSHAL?

YOU'RE ASKING THE WRONG GUY.

NO, NO, NO, YOU'RE THE GUY.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH IT.

I WAITED FOR A HALF AN HOUR FOR THAT GUY.

I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

I GOT A BUSINESS TO RUN.

YEAH, AT THE BAR!

I ASK YOU TO DO ONE STUPID THING,

AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO IT!

WHAT ARE YOU GETTIN' SO UPSET ABOUT? IT'S ONLY ONE THING.

FUNERAL?

JOB INTERVIEW. YOU GET IT?

I DON'T THINK I KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK.

SO, DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE

IN RESTAURANT SUPPLY?

UH, NO, I'VE SPENT THE BETTER PART OF MY LIFE IN WASTE.

NOT--NOT IN IT.

I--I--I MANAGED IT.

I-I-I-IT'S MUCH HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS.

SO, WALTER, WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 20 YEARS?

I DON'T KNOW.

DEAD?

JUST ONE MORE THING WE NEED FROM YOU.

IT WAS HUMILIATING!

I'M NOT 20. I CAN'T JUST PEE ON COMMAND!

OF COURSE, NOW I NEED TO GO.

MAN, I FEEL FOR DAD.

YOU NOW, TRYING TO START A WHOLE NEW CAREER AT HIS AGE.

WE COULD USE SOME HELP DOWN AT THE BAR.

IT WOULD BE SO WEIRD.

I MEAN, WHAT, BEING DAD'S BOSS,

TELLIN' HIM WHAT TO DO?

WE'D GET USED TO IT.

BESIDES, YOU SAID THINGS DOWN AT THE BAR

AREN'T GETTING DONE.

YEAH, YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT DOIN' THEM.

HEY, IS LILY HERE?

UH, YEAH, SHE'S IN THE KITCHEN.

WH...HELLO, GROCERY STORE MAN.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, PAPER OR PLASTIC?

YEAH, I'M NOT TIRED OF THAT AT ALL.

BRAD, I MISSED YOU!

I KNOW, I KNOW. I'M SORRY. I GOT STUCK AT WORK.

THAT'S OK. AT LEAST IT'S NOT TOMORROW NIGHT, HUH?

ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA BE AT WORK TOMORROW NIGHT, TOO.

NO, YOU CANT!

IT'S CARLA VETRANO'S PARTY.

I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT MY BOSS IS A JERK

AND WE'RE TOTALLY UNDERSTAFFED.

2 OF OUR BAGGERS JUST GOT DEPORTED.

THAT RUINS MY WHOLE WEEKEND!

HEY, HEY, BRAD,

ARE YOU GUYS HIRING?

YEAH.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. YES. YES. YES.

DAD'S NOT GETTING A JOB AT A SUPERMARKET.

IT'S HUMILIATING.

HEY.

THE MAN WORKED AT A DUMP FOR 25 YEARS.

SEAGULLS USED TO FOLLOW HIM HOME.

MY FATHER IS NOT GONNA GET A JOB AS SOME BAG MONKEY!

WAIT, WAIT. I HEARD "JOB' AND "MONKEY."

DOES IT PAY?

DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN.

HUH?

OK, ALL RIGHT, DAD,

ED AND I WERE TALKING,

AND MAYBE WE COULD USE SOME HELP DOWN AT THE BAR.

I'LL TAKE IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUSH TO A DECISION.

WHEN DO I START?

THERE MIGHT BE A FIRE MARSHAL DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW WAITING FOR ONE OF US.

I'M ON IT!

HEL-LO, CLAUDIA!

Claudia: HEY.

OH, HEY, BABE. HEY.

YOU OK?

YEAH, YEAH. UM,

DO YOU EVER GET THE FEELING YOU'RE INVISIBLE?

OH! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, PUNK!

JIMMY?

MY OWN SON ACTED LIKE HE DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME.

OH, COME ON, BABY. HE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BE EMBARRASSED

IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS.

I AM NOT EMBARRASSING.

I AM EXTREMELY COOL.

OF COURSE YOU'RE COOL, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.

THERE'S A CERTAIN AGE WHERE EVERY BOY

JUST KIND OF WANTS TO PULL AWAY.

NO. NO, NO, NO, NOT MY BOY.

I AM NOT THE KIND OF MOM A BOY HAS TO PULL AWAY FROM.

I'M A YOUNG, HIP MOM.

IS THAT A TISSUE IN YOUR SLEEVE?

I HAVE A COLD.

OH, HEY, GUYS, HOW WAS THE MOVIE?

GREAT.

REALLY GREAT.

YEAH.

UH-OH. WHAT'S WRONG?

OK, CHASING THE NIGHT,

THE POWERFUL SAGA OF A FAMILY TORN APART BY WAR,

NOT A GOOD MOTHER/SON MOVIE.

[SENSUAL MOANS AND GROANS]

Woman: WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLEASE A WOMAN?

Man: FROM A MAN.

[WOMAN MOANS]

D-DO YOU WANT SOME POPCORN?

YEAH, I'LL GET IT.

THE AD SAID IT WAS "POWERFUL AND RIVETING."

IT WAS A 2-HOUR HUMP-A-THON!

HE'S 14. JUST TAKE IT EASY.

OF COURSE IT'S GONNA BE WEIRD AND AWKWARD.

YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO LET GO A LITTLE.

NO, I DON'T. I CAN MAKE THIS WORK.

WE CAN GET PAST THIS.

HEY, JIMMY, UM...

THAT WAS FUN, HUH?

WE SHOULD DO THAT AGAIN.

YEAH.

NO, IT WAS GOOD. UM...

OK, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

OK.

UHH...MOM....

HANDSHAKE.

MY SON JUST SHOOK MY HAND.

WELL, IN FAIRNESS, BABY,

YOU DID JUST TAKE HIM TO A PORNO.

OK, FIRST OF ALL, IT GOT "2 THUMBS UP, WAY UP."

AND...

AND SECOND OF ALL, WHY AREN'T YOU AT WORK?

I DON'T HAVE TO BE. ED WAS RIGHT.

DAD'S WORKING OUT GREAT DOWN AT THE BAR.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

UH, GIMME AN OLD FASHIONED.

OLD FASHIONED. YEAH, AN OLD, UH...

OLD FASHIONED.

I LIKE THAT. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

THAT'S, UH...

I GOT IT, SEAN.

HOW ABOUT SOME PRETZELS TO GO WITH THAT, HUH?

Walt: I'M ON IT!

AND YOU KNOW ALL THOSE STUPID STORIES

THAT HE NEVER STOPS TELLING?

YOU DON'T GET SICK AND TIRED OF 'EM

IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD 'EM A MILLION TIMES

AND YOU'RE DRUNK.

LILY, WHAT'S WITH THE DOG FOOD?

JUST ONE OF THE MANY PERKS OF HAVING A BOYFRIEND

WHO WORKS AT THE GROCERY STORE.

SURPRISE!

LILY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I MISS YOU.

I WANTED TO SAY HI,

AND YOU LOOK REALLY CUTE IN YOUR UNIFORM.

OH, THANK YOU.

[BEEPS]

UH, $18.99, PLEASE.

OH, NO, I DON'T WANT TO BUY IT.

I'M JUST SAYING HI.

I DON'T HAVE A DOG.

UH...

[REGISTER BEEPS]

OH, GOD. UM...

[FEEDBACK]

I NEED A VOID ON REGISTER 3, PLEASE.

[BEEPING STOPS]

CAN I HELP YOU, BRADLEY?

I JUST NEED A VOID.

OH, SORRY, FOLKS, THIS'LL JUST TAKE A SECOND.

BRADLEY, WOULD YOU CARE TO MOVE

SO I CAN CORRECT YOUR MISTAKE?

ACTUALLY, IT WAS MY FAULT.

WOW. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WE HAVE A LITTLE SAYING AROUND HERE.

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT,

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE AS PRETTY AS YOU.

WELL, THANK YOU.

THIS IS MY--

BRAD, I'M WITH A CUSTOMER.

STOP.

DO YOU NEED SOME HELP

CARRYING THIS OUT TO THE CAR?

I DON'T HAVE A CAR.

WELL, IT TURNS OUT I DO.

IT'S GOT AUTOMATIC SEAT BELTS.

YOU JUST CLOSE THE DOOR... SHH...SHH...

THAT'S GREAT, BUT I'M ACTUALLY HERE TO SEE BRAD.

SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND.

OH. SOCIAL VISITS ARE PROHIBITED, BRAD. YOU KNOW THE RULES.

I KNOW, B-B-BUT-- BUTS ARE FOR POOPING.

GET BACK TO WORK.

THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT FRESH MART.

OH! I DON'T HAVE--

A DOG!

IT'S RIDICULOUS. HIS BOSS IS MEAN TO HIM

AND WE NEVER SPEND TIME TOGETHER.

WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO HAVE JOBS?

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW, LILY.

ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR FOOD AND ROOF?

HI, EVERYBODY.

OH, HEY, HOPE.

OH, DID YOU GUYS GET A DOG?

UH, WE'RE NOT REALLY READY TO COMMIT,

YOU KNOW, WE GOT THE FOOD FIRST,

JUST TO SEE HOW THAT WORKS OUT.

HOPE, HAVE YOU SEEN ANY MOVIES

THAT YOU COULD TAKE A KID TO?

THE ONLY ONE THAT I'VE SEEN IS CHASING THE NIGHT,

AND YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE A KID TO SEE THAT.

YEAH, OBVIOUSLY.

IS EDDIE HERE?

HE'S WORKING.

THAT NEVER EVEN OCCURRED TO ME.

HEY, LIL!

BRAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HEY, BRAD, HAVE YOU SEEN ANY MOVIES--

NO DISRESPECT, MRS. FINNERTY,

BUT I'M ON A 10-MINUTE BREAK,

WHICH I'VE ALREADY USED 4,

AND I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO LILY,

BUT I'VE HEARD GOOD THINGS ABOUT BLOODSTORM.

YOU RAN OVER HERE ON YOUR BREAK?

YEAH, YOU SAID WE NEVER GET ANY TIME TO SPEND TOGETHER.

HERE I AM. WE HAVE 6 MINUTES!

YEAH. YOU WANT TO GO MAKE OUT?

BRAD.

LISTEN TO ME.

I THINK YOU SHOULD QUIT YOUR JOB.

QUIT? NO! NO! I CAN'T.

NO, YOU CAN. LISTEN TO ME.

YOUR JOB IS HORRIBLE!

AND LOOK WHAT IT'S DOING TO YOU.

I'M FINE. I'M ALL RIGHT.

HEY, BRAD, SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

UM, HAVE YOU SEEN THE YEAR OF RECKONING?

SOME GOOD PERFORMANCES, BUT THE PLOT MEANDERS.

LILY, I AM FINE.

FINE? YOU'RE IRRITABLE, YOU'RE BORED,

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO A PARTY IN LIKE, 2 WEEKS.

YOU HAVE LONG, RED HAIR, YOUR NAME'S LILY...

MOTHER!

LOOK, I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD QUIT.

I CAN'T QUIT, LILY. I NEED THE MONEY.

WE ALWAYS HAVE FUN WITHOUT MONEY. WHO CARES?

THE IMPORTANT THING IS SPENDING TIME TOGETHER.

ALL RIGHT. I WANTED THIS TO BE A SURPRISE,

BUT...I'M SAVING UP TO BUY A CAR.

A CAR?

I DIDN'T THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE SO HARD ON YOU.

UH, WHAT KIND OF CAR ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

I WAS BEING SELFISH.

NO JOB IS WORTH PUTTING YOU THROUGH THIS.

NO, NO, NO! I WAS BEING SELFISH! ME!

DEMANDING THAT YOU QUIT YOUR JOB?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT.

OH, MY GOD. I HAVE A MINUTE-AND-A-HALF.

CAN I TAKE THAT DOG FOOD,

'CAUSE BRIAN'S GONNA TAKE IT OFF MY PAY.

OF COURSE, OF COURSE. I GOTTA DO MY SHARE, TOO...

MUWAH!

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA GET A CAR.

WHOA, HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?!

NO TIME! WHOA, HEY, WATCH IT!

HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOWN AT THE BAR.

I NEED A BEER.

YOU CAN'T GET A BEER AT THE BAR?

I DON'T ENJOY DRINKING THERE ANYMORE.

WELL, WELL, WELL. PUTTIN' IN HALF A DAY?

NO WORM FOR YOU, HUH?

ALARM CLOCK BROKEN?

WELL, IT'S THE CRACK OF NOON.

SEIZE WHAT'S LEFT OF THE DAY.

IS THERE PERCHANCE AN ARTICLE IN THERE

ABOUT AN IRISH BAR BEING RUN INTO THE GROUND

BECAUSE THE OWNER IS TOO LAZY TO CARE?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M READIN' THE SPORTS SECTION.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

DRINKIN' A BEER.

WRONG.

YOU'RE DRINKIN' YOUR PROFITS.

YOU'RE DRINKIN' YOUR FUTURE.

YOU'RE DRINKING YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEWS' SHOES.

LISTEN, DAD, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO RELAX HERE.

NO, NO, NO, ALL YOU DO IS RELAX.

THERE'S NO ROOM IN THIS ORGANIZATION

FOR SOMEBODY WHO DOESN'T GIVE 120%,

SO IF THAT'S YOUR ATTITUDE,

YOU CAN JUST GET OUTTA HERE

AND DON'T BOTHER COMIN' BACK!

WHAT? YOU HEARD ME! GET OUT!

I JUST GOT IN!

GET OUT! OUT!

DAD FIRED YOU?

YEAH.

WAIT, HE CAN'T FIRE YOU. WE OWN THE PLACE.

I KNOW, BUT IT WAS DAD, AND HE TOLD ME TO GO.

WHAT COULD I DO?

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

I KNOW.

YOU KNOW, HIRING THAT GUY

WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THINGS EASIER.

WHAT WERE WE THINKING?

NO, NO. WE WEREN'T THINKING ANYTHING.

IT WAS YOUR IDEA.

YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER.

YOU KNOW, EITHER WAY,

YOU GOTTA GO DOWN THERE AND SET HIM STRAIGHT.

OH, NO, NO. WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?

'CAUSE I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE.

[SINGS]

HEY, NO, NO, NO.

HENRY, HENRY, UPSTAIRS!

ALL RIGHT, ED, I TALKED TO DAD ABOUT THE PROBLEM.

THANKS. THANKS. YOU'RE A BETTER MAN THAN I AM.

NOT A LOT BETTER.

SEAN DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TELLING YOU

ABOUT OWNING A BAR?

YES, SIR.

IT'S BUSINESS.

IT'S NOT A CLUBHOUSE FOR YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BROTHER.

I UNDERSTAND. SPEAK UP, SON.

I UNDERSTAND, DAD.

MAYBE YOU DO, SEANY, BUT YOUR BROTHER DOESN'T...

AND HE'S NOT WELCOME HERE UNTIL HE'S LEARNED HIS LESSON.

YOU'RE RIGHT, DAD. HAVE A GOOD DAY.

WASN'T AS EASY AS YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE, RIGHT?

NO, IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE HE'S DAD!

YEAH, WELL, I TOLD YOU!

I KNOW, OK?

BUT AS LONG AS THAT MAN IS THERE,

IT'S NOT GONNA BE OUR BAR,

SO WE HAVE TO STAND TOGETHER ON THIS THING.

FIRM. ALL RIGHT? AGREED?

WE GOTTA TELL HIM. YEAH.

WE GOTTA TELL HIM, MAN.

WE GOTTA DO WHAT WE GOTTA DO.

HEY, GUYS. OH, HEY, BABY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT THE MOVIES WITH JIMMY.

YEAH, SO DID I.

OK, I GOT THE TICKETS.

OK, THIS MOVIE'S NOT GONNA BE LIKE THE LAST ONE, RIGHT?

NO, NO. I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH.

THIS ONE'S PG-13.

NOBODY DOES ANYTHING TO ANYBODY

THAT ISN'T KILLING-RELATED.

YEAH. UH, YOU WANT TO GO POTTY-- MOM.

OH, YOU WENT AT HOME.

CAN YOU PLEASE STOP NOTICING THAT?

YES. I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT? I'LL BE COOL.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HEY, FINNERTY. HEY.

YOU GOING TO SEE BLOODSTORM? YEAH.

COOL. YOU WANT TO SIT WITH US?

UM...

AND SO I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES

AND I REALIZED YOU WERE RIGHT, YOU KNOW?

IN ORDER TO KEEP HIM CLOSE, I HAVE TO LET HIM GO,

SO I SENT HIM OFF WITH HIS FRIENDS.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME.

JIMMY, WHAT HAPPENED? YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE MOVIE?

I DIDN'T SEE THE MOVIE.

HOLD UP.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

14.

YOU GOT A CHILD'S TICKET.

IT'S JUST A MISTAKE.

I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT A CHILD.

THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE A CHILD'S TICKET?

I DON'T KNOW, ALL RIGHT?

MY MOM BOUGHT IT FOR ME.

IS YOUR MOM HERE?

I'M HIS MOMMY.

OH, MY GOD, JIMMY. I'M SO SORRY.

IT WAS JUST A REFLEX.

LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU TOMORROW.

FINE. YOU WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO ME?

TAKE ME TO MOMMY AND ME,

AND DON'T FORGET MY SIPPY CUP!

I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU.

[DOOR OPENS]

SEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

I HAD TO LOCK UP THE BAR.

THERE'S NOBODY WORKING THERE!

WHAT ABOUT REGGIE?

HE'S SUSPENDED WITHOUT PAY

UNTIL I FIND OUT WHERE ALL THE LIMES WENT.

OH, THAT'S ENOUGH.

DAD, WILL YOU PLEASE HAVE A SEAT?

I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

CLAUDIA, EXCUSE US.

OK, BABY...

YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEAVE,

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TELL DAD SOMETHING,

AND IT'S PRETTY SENSITIVE.

WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON?

WE HAVE TO FIRE DAD.

YOU WHAT?

AFTER ALL HE'S DONE FOR YOU?

WHEN WILL PEOPLE UNDERSTAND

ALL A PARENT WANTS IS TO BE

A PART OF A CHILD'S LIFE, YOU KNOW?

BUT NO, YOU JUST WANT TO TOSS HIM ASIDE

LIKE AN OLD PIECE OF SOAP

YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO PICK UP,

'CAUSE IT'S COVERED WITH ALL THAT GLOP

AND YOU JUST WISH IT WOULD JUST GO AWAY

DOWN THE DRAIN ON ITS OWN.

NOT EXACTLY, BUT BASICALLY, YEAH.

UM, SO IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US, PLEASE?

READY?

YEAH. IS IT GO TIME?

IT'S GO TIME. LET'S DO IT.

UH, DAD?

[CLEARS THROAT]

EDDIE AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING

AND WE WANTED TO, UH...

WE WANTED TO SAY TO YOU

THAT, UH, WE LOVE YOU.

YOU'RE OUR DAD...

UH, BUT WE...

WE OWN THE RED BOOT PUB, OK?

WE'RE THE OWNERS OF THE RED BOOT PUB, NOT YOU, OK?

SO YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND, UH,

FIRING EVERYBODY AS YOU PLEASE, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE IT'S OUR BAR, ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE AN EMPLOYEE,

AND AT THE RED BOOT PUB,

THE OWNERS WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THE EMPLOYEES

WOULD START ACTING LIKE EMPLOYEES.

IS THAT TRUE, EDDIE?

WOW, DAD, THIS IS NEWS TO ME.

OK, SO, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?

N-NOTHING. I WAS...

ARE YOU TRYING TO FIRE ME?

UH...

THEN SAY IT.

COME ON, SAY IT!

BUT DAD, I--

FIRE ME! OK, YOU'RE FIRED!

THAT'S A BOY!

OK, WE CAN'T WORK TOGETHER NO MORE!

THAT'S MY SON!

HEY, YOU'RE OUTTA HERE, MAN!

YOU'RE OUTTA HERE! HIT THE BRICKS!

JUST WATCH IT, EDWIN.

SORRY, I'M SORRY.

HEY, GRANDPA.

HELLO, KIDS. HEY, EVERYBODY.

DON'T YOU HAVE TO WORK, BRAD?

NO, SIR, I DO NOT.

BRAD, PLEASE SEE THE ASSISTANT MANAGER.

OH, HEY, THERE YOU ARE.

BRAD, WHAT REGISTER ARE YOU WORKING AT?

NUMBER ONE.

A.K.A.?

THE EXPRESS LANE.

VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.

WOULD YOU CARE TO GUESS HOW MANY ITEMS

YOUR LAST CUSTOMER HAD, HUH?

UM, I'M GUESSING MORE THAN 10.

15...15.

NOT 14, NOT 13...NOT...

12?

NOT 12, NOT EVEN 11,

WHICH IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL THE "GRACE ITEM,"

AND CERTAINLY NOT 10, BRAD.

I JUST FIGURED THAT BECAUSE NOBODY WAS WAITING--

"OH, I'M SORRY I SHOT YOU, SIR,

BUT THERE WAS NO ONE WAITING."

Brad: I DON'T SEE HOW THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO--

LET'S REVIEW THE NUMBERS THAT ARE OK

IN THE EXPRESS LANE, HUH?

ONE'S GOOD.

2's FINE.

3's DIVINE...

BRAD, DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF.

LILY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THIS OFFICIALLY COUNTS AS YOUR BREAK. GO.

IT ISN'T WORTH PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH THIS

FOR A LIME-GREEN CABRIOLET.

WHO SAID I WANTED A LIME-GREEN CABRIOLET?

IT'S CUTE.

IT'S NOT A GOOD PICTURE,

BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU.

NO CAR IS WORTH PUTTING YOURSELF

THROUGH WORKING FOR THIS BUTTWIPE!

OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YES, I DID.

BRAD, YOUR YAPPY LITTLE GIRLFRIEND

IS JEOPARDIZING YOUR CAREER...

YOUR CAREER.

KNOW WHAT?

YOU CAN YELL AT ME,

YOU CAN MAKE ME COUNT TO 10 OVER AND OVER AGAIN,

BUT YOU CANNOT CALL MY GIRLFRIEND "YAPPY," ALL RIGHT?!

YAPPY. YAPPY, YAPPY.

NO. I QUIT.

MY BOYFRIEND IS MORE IMPORTANT

THAN A CABRIOLET.

DAD, CAN WE BORROW THE CAR AND GO TO THE MALL?

NO. I'LL DRIVE YOU.

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK TONIGHT, GRANDPA?

NAH. THESE GUYS JUST CANNED MY ASS. LET'S GO.

HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I THOUGHT I WAS HUNGRY,

BUT I'M NOT.

GET DOWN HERE NOW.

LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU.

YOU ARE 14 YEARS OLD,

AND THERE ARE CHEMICAL REACTIONS GOING ON IN YOUR BRAIN

TELLING YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM YOUR MOTHER,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

THAT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

MOM, IT'S OK. I DON'T--

NO, IT'S NOT OK.

NOW, YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO APPRECIATE

THAT I AM WAY COOLER THAN MOST MOMS,

AND YOU MAY TRY TO PUSH ME AWAY,

BUT YOU WILL FAIL.

WE ARE NOT GONNA BECOME STRANGERS, OK?

DEAL.

DEAL. MOM...

OH, COME ON. NOBODY'S GONNA SEE.

AW, THAT'S SO SWEET.

YES, IT IS.

DID YOU FIRE YOUR DAD?

YEAH. YEAH, ACTUALLY, WE DID,

AND, YOU KNOW, WE KIND OF FEEL BAD FOR HIM.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO HANG OUT WITH HIM?

YEAH, BABY, YOU'RE RIGHT.

OK, LET'S GO HAVE SOME FUN WITH DAD.

[MAN AND WOMAN MOAN]

Woman: OH, WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLEASE A WOMAN?

Man: FROM A MAN.

OH, THAT'S JUST WRONG!

Jimmy: SHH! KEEP IT DOWN.

JIMMY?