Original subtitles

YOU KNOW, YOU COULD SHAVE IT OFF,

AND THEN IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE HOW IT LOOKED,

YOU COULD JUST GROW IT BACK.

YEAH, BABY, I KNOW I COULD GROW IT BACK.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

OK, BUT YOU COULD GROW IT BACK.

IT'S SUCH A HASSLE.

YES, I KNOW.

IT MUST BE SUCH HARD WORK, GROWING A BEARD.

WHERE DO YOU FIND THE TIME?

OK, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S COMING TOMORROW.

LOOK, DON'T YOU WANT THE FAMILY PORTRAIT TO BE ACCURATE?

DON'T YOU WANT ME TO LOOK LIKE ME?

I WANT YOU TO LOOK NICE.

NOT THAT YOU DON'T LOOK... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

COME ON, SEAN, THE GAME'S STARTING.

HEY, WALT, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SEAN SHAVING HIS BEARD?

I DON'T KNOW.

WOULDN'T THE OTHER HOBOS TEASE HIM?

WHAT'S THE DEAL?

CLAUDIA WANTS ME TO SHAVE FOR THE FAMILY PORTRAIT.

WELL, YOU SHOULD LOOK NICE.

I DO LOOK NICE!

LOOK, YOU'VE GOT A BEARD.

HE LOOKS DISTINGUISHED.

LOOK, I'M SORRY, BUT THE WHOLE FAMILY

IS GONNA BE TOGETHER, ALL RIGHT?

IT'S JUST IMPORTANT THAT EVERYONE LOOK THEIR BEST.

OUR LAST FAMILY PICTURES HAVEN'T BEEN SO GREAT.

THIS IS THE LAST GOOD ONE WE TOOK,

AND IT WAS 6 YEARS AGO.

OH, WOW, THAT'S THE LAST ONE THAT MOM WAS IN.

AH, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T SHE?

MY CATHERINE.

THINK I'LL GO OUT TO THE CEMETERY

TO SEE HER THIS AFTERNOON.

WE ALL MISS HER, DAD.

WELL, LIFE GOES ON.

TIME TO TAKE A NEW PICTURE.

HURRY UP, FUZZ-FACE, OR YOU'RE GONNA MISS THE TIP-OFF.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

YEAH.

YEAH, OK. I'LL BE OVER THERE IN, UH, 20 MINUTES.

WHO WAS THAT?

REMEMBER MY FRIEND HOPE?

HOPE, WITH THE LONG BLONDE HAIR?

YEAH, YEAH. SHE'S OVULATING.

I GOTTA GET OVER THERE AND GIVE HER A BABY.

WHAT?

HOLD ON. "GIVE HER A BABY"?

YEAH. SHE WANTS TO HAVE A BABY.

I'M HELPIN' HER OUT.

I'VE DECIDED I'M READY TO HAVE A BABY.

WANT TO HOOK ME UP?

SURE.

WHOA, WHOA, WAIT, WAIT.

YOU ARE GONNA BE A FATHER?

NOT A FATHER. I'M FATHERING.

I'M PROVIDING THE NECESSARY--

OK, WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PROVIDING.

HOLD ON, WAIT.

HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU DOIN' THIS?

YOU KNOW, NATURAL INSEMINATION.

EWW.

WHAT? THAT'S THE WAY HOPE WANTS IT.

SHE'S OLD-FASHIONED.

OH, IS SHE? YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS IS THE PERFECT ARRANGEMENT FOR YOU.

THIS IS-- THIS IS CLASSIC EDDIE.

HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS AT ALL?

I MEAN, MAKING A BABY IS A VERY BIG DEAL.

I DON'T KNOW. YOU KEEP POPPIN' 'EM OUT FOR SEAN.

YES, AND, LOOK, HERE'S SEAN NOW,

LIVING IN THE HOUSE WITH THE KIDS.

IT'S LIKE WE'RE A FAMILY.

ALL RIGHT, WAIT A MINUTE.

SHE JUST CALLS YOU UP AND YOU DRIVE OVER THERE

AND YOU HAVE SEX, IS THAT IT?

PRETTY MUCH.

I MEAN, SHE DOES REIMBURSE ME FOR TRAVEL EXPENSES.

AND AS FAR AS YOU'RE CONCERNED,

THERE'S NO CONSEQUENCES WHATSOEVER?

NOT NO CONSEQUENCES.

SOMETIMES I CRAMP UP.

GROSS.

IS GRANDPA OK?

YEAH. WHY?

HE STARTED CRYING AT A RED LOBSTER COMMERCIAL.

HE JUST MISSES YOUR GRANDMA, THAT'S ALL.

Claudia: HEY, SEAN, WHY DON'T YOU AND EDDIE

GO WITH HIM TO THE CEMETERY?

IT'D BE NICE FOR HIM TO HAVE HIS FAMILY THERE.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

IT'S A GOOD IDEA.

YEAH, I GOT A 3:00, BUT I'LL BE DONE BY 3:15.

WHY DON'T WE MAKE IT 4:00?

GIVE YOU TIME FOR A SHOWER.

THAT INCLUDED A SHOWER.

HOPE'S A LUCKY GIRL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT'S A LITTLE BUSY.

NO, IT'S THE LAYERED LOOK.

I SAW IT ON THE SHOW WITH THE QUEERS.

THEY CALL THEMSELVES THAT. YOU CAN'T.

AND YOU CAN'T WEAR A JACKET UNDER A JACKET.

IT MAKES YOU LOOK...

RUGGED?

LIKE YOU'RE STEALING CLOTHES.

NO, IT'S A LOOK!

MOM, I NEED SOME MONEY TO BUY BRAD SOME CLOTHES FOR THE PICTURE.

THE PICTURE. THE FAMILY PICTURE? YEAH.

OOH, SORRY. IT'S A-- IT'S A FAMILY PORTRAIT.

THAT MAKES SENSE.

WHAT? NO. THAT'S TOTALLY UNFAIR.

WELL, I'M SORRY. WE HAVE A RULE.

BUT YOU'VE INCLUDED UNCLE EDDIE'S GIRLFRIENDS.

THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THE RULE.

IT'S JUST SIMPLER TO MAKE IT FAMILY ONLY.

THAT'S COOL.

NO, IT'S NOT! BRAD ISN'T

JUST SOME BABE OF THE WEEK. HE'S MY SOUL MATE.

BUT YOU WOULDN'T SEE THAT BECAUSE YOU TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD!

[STAMPING FEET]

BRAD, DO YOU WANT ME TO TURN THE THERMOSTAT UP?

IT'S A LOOK!

OH. GUYS, I NEED YOU TO SET

THE TABLE FOR DINNER. OK?

OK, MOM. OH, HEY...

LAYERED LOOK. I LIKE THAT. REALLY?

YEAH, MAN. WHY DON'T YOU GO WHIP ME UP SOME CUPCAKES, SWEETIE?

I SHOULD INVITE LEXIE TO BE IN OUR PICTURE.

WHO'S LEXIE? MY GIRLFRIEND.

YOU DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

NO, DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

I DO. LEXIE.

SINCE WHEN?

SINCE YESTERDAY.

YOU'RE MY BOYFRIEND.

OK.

DON'T WORRY. WE CAN STILL HANG OUT.

I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO DUMPS ALL HIS FRIENDS

THE MINUTE HE GETS A GIRLFRIEND.

YEAH. SHE'S NOT A REAL GIRLFRIEND.

WHATEVER YOU SAY.

SINGLE GUYS.

HEY, UNCLE EDDIE. HEAR YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND. I'M JUST TRYIN' TO IMPREGNATE HER.

I HEAR THAT!

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.

STILL HEARD IT.

OH. HI, EDDIE.

HEY, CLAUDIA.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

UH-OH. WHEN BOOTY CALLS...

[RING]

[CHUCKLES]

LOVER BOY.

[RING]

HELLO. YOU GONNA ANSWER THAT?

I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.

[RING]

WHY? WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

THAT TRIP TO THE CEMETERY WASN'T AS MUCH FUN AS I'D HOPED.

HEY. SORRY I'M LATE.

WHERE'VE YOU BEEN, EDDIE?

HELPIN' OUT MY FRIEND HOPE WITH HER PROJECT.

ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON?

I'M...SORT OF ON CALL.

WHAT, YOU JUST COME WHENEVER SHE CAN SQUEEZE YOU IN?

SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT.

YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED.

YEAH, HOPE MUST BE RIDIN' YOU PRETTY HARD.

HA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOIN',

BUT I GOT A LOT OF FREE TIME IF YOU WANT ME TO PITCH IN.

YEAH. YOU COULD LET DAD GIVE IT A WHACK.

STOP IT.

HEY, HONEY.

I BROUGHT YOUR BOYS WITH ME THIS WEEK.

I'M SORRY SEAN DIDN'T SHAVE.

THANKS, DAD.

HI, MOM.

CLAUDIA SENDS HER LOVE,

AND THE--THE KIDS ARE GREAT.

OH, I BROUGHT SOME PICTURES TO SHOW YOU. UH...

HENRY. HE'S... HE'S ALMOST 11.

HE'S PLAYIN' SOCCER NOW.

DON'T HOLD IT DOWN LIKE THAT!

WHY NOT? SHE'S IN HEAVEN.

I'M NOT SAYIN' SHE'S IN HELL!

JUST HOLD THE PICTURE UP!

WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING HERE

IF WE'RE GONNA HOLD THE PICTURES UP?

WE COULD HOLD THE PICTURES UP ANYWHERE.

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW. WHY DON'T YOU ASK T GUY?

LOOK--LOOK OUT! YOU'RE STEPPIN' ON--

DAD, YOU JUST SAID SHE WASN'T DOWN THERE!

OK.

SORRY, MA.

HERE'S THE, UH...

HERE'S LILY IN HER HOMECOMING DANCE.

UH, THE GUY WITH HIS HANDS ON HER BUTT--

THAT'S--THAT'S HER BOYFRIEND...

BRAD. I'M--

I'M SORRY. I SHOULDA LOOKED THROUGH THESE BETTER.

THEN SEAN GOT INTO TALKIN' ABOUT HIS LIFE AND YOU AND THE KIDS,

AND THEN IT WAS MY TURN.

OH. HERE'S--HERE'S JIMMY IN A CHESS TOURNAMENT.

HE'S SO SMART. YEAH. AND DID I TELL YOU

CLAUDIA'S GOIN' BACK TO COLLEGE?

YEAH, YEAH. YEAH. SAVE SOME FOR NEXT TIME, SEAN.

OK, MOM. WELL...

BYE FOR NOW. HERE'S...HERE'S ED.

HEY, MA.

SAME OLD, SAME OLD.

STILL NO WIFE OR KIDS OR ANYTHING.

NO PICTURES TO SHOW.

UH...I'M JUST... KINDA KICKIN' AROUND.

YOU KNOW?

UH...NO, I DID--

ACTUALLY, I DID DO SOMETHIN'.

I GOT MY TEETH WHITENED.

NOT PROFESSIONAL WHITENING.

I GOT THOSE STRIPS.

SO THAT'S ABOUT IT. I, UH, MY LIFE IS...

IT IS WHAT IT IS.

YOU'RE NOT MISSIN' MUCH.

I GOT NOTHIN'.

OH. HEY, MOM.

HENRY WAS IN THE NUTCRACKER.

HE WAS GREAT.

AHEM!

ALL RIGHT, I'M DONE!

YOU... YOU HAVE THINGS.

YOU KNOW?

YOUR TEETH LOOK REALLY GOOD.

THANKS FOR TRYING, CLAUDIA.

[RING]

STOP IT. I CAN'T PERFORM UNDER THESE CONDITIONS!

I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.

MOM, YOU MADE LAMB?

YEAH.

BRAD CAN'T EAT LAMB. OH.

I DIDN'T KNOW BRAD WAS STAYING FOR DINNER.

YOU'RE WELCOME TO, OF COURSE.

THAT'S OK.

YOU NEVER INCLUDE BRAD.

SHE JUST DID.

NO, NOW SHE DID, NOW THAT SHE KNOWS

YOU CAN'T EAT LAMB. HE HAS MORAL OBJECTIONS.

WELL...PLUS IT GIVES ME THE RUNS.

GOOD TO KNOW.

BUT IT'S COOL. YOU KNOW.

I CAN EAT AROUND IT.

NO, IT'S NOT COOL.

YOU ARE A PART OF THIS FAMILY, NO MATTER

WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS!

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING

THAT MAKES YOU ALL SAD AND LEAKY.

LILY, COME ON. PLEASE DON'T MAKE A FUSS.

NO. I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU!

WELL, THEN STOP FOR ME. STOP TALKING FOR ME.

WELL, I'M HELPING YOU EXPRESS HOW FURIOUS YOU ARE!

I'M JUST GONNA GO HOME.

[SIGHS] GREAT.

GREAT. NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID.

OH, GREAT. YOU'RE HERE. HEY, GUYS, DINNERTIME.

YOU ARE A PIECE OF WORK, DAD.

YEAH, WE'LL DISCUSS IT LATER. LET'S NOT RUIN DINNER.

SOMETHING WRONG?

NO. EVERYTHING'S FINE.

SMELLS DELICIOUS, CLAUDIA.

OK. WHO WOULD LIKE TO SAY GRACE?

I WILL.

THANK YOU, O LORD, FOR THESE, THY GIFTS

THAT--OH, IS IT OK IF I LOOK DOWN, DAD,

OR IS THAT AN AFFRONT TO GOD?

DON'T START, SEAN!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

UH, NOTHING.

IT WAS JUST A VERY EMOTIONAL DAY.

WELL...YEAH. I CAN IMAGINE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GONE TO THAT CEMETERY.

NEXT TIME YOU GO, I'LL GO WITH YOU.

OH, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY, CLAUDIA.

WHY NOT?

YEAH. WHY NOT, DAD?

WELL, UH, UH, T-THE CEMETERY

IS NO PLACE FOR A GIRL.

SHE'S GONNA FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER.

FIND OUT WHAT?

YOU REMEMBER THAT VERY SWEET GESTURE

DAD MADE... SEAN?!

BY GETTING US HEADSTONES IN THE FAMILY PLOT?

YEAH?

TURNS OUT IT WASN'T SO SWEET.

HENRY WAS IN THE NUTCRACKER.

HE WAS GREAT.

AHEM!

ALL RIGHT, I'M DONE!

BYE, MA.

OH, HEY, DAD, YOU FORGOT YOUR COAT.

OH, THAT'S OK.

WHAT? I GOT IT.

N-NO. I GOT ANOTHER ONE.

WHAT, YOU GONNA LEAVE IT HERE? I GOT IT.

YEAH! JUST LEAVE IT!

DAD, DON'T--

"MR. TINKLES"?!

MR. TINKLES?

GRANDMA'S CAT?

YOU BURIED A CAT IN MY GRAVE?

YES, HE DID.

YOUR MOTHER LOVED THAT CAT!

MY GIRLFRIEND HAS A CAT.

SHUT UP! Sean: HEY!

DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T FIND OUT?

WELL, I WASN'T THINKING!

I THOUGHT BY THEN ONE OF US WAS GOING TO BE DEAD!

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

YOUR MOTHER LOVED THAT CAT. WHAT?!

JUST LOVED IT!

OH, WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!

AFTER 16 YEARS OF MARRIAGE [TELEPHONE RINGS]

AND 3 OF YOUR CHILDREN, APPARENTLY I'M NOT

EVEN A FINNERTY ANYMORE!

HEY, DON'T LOOK AT ME!

I HAD NOTHIN' TO DO WITH THAT!

OK! LET'S CALM DOWN AND BE RATIONAL HERE! [RING]

RATIONAL?! THERE'S A CAT IN MY GRAVE! [RING]

BUT YOUR MOTHER LOVED IT! [RING]

HE CAN'T DO YOU RIGHT NOW!

WHO CAN'T DO WHO?

WELL, MOM, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

I JUST CALLED BRAD. HE'S NOT HOME,

AND HIS DAD DIDN'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

I THINK WE BOTH KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

WE DO?

YES! YOU WERE MEAN TO HIM,

AND NOW HE NEVER WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN.

ALL I TOLD HIM WAS THAT HE COULDN'T BE IN THE FAMILY PHOTO.

BECAUSE HE'S NOT PART OF THE FAMILY.

OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M REALLY NOT THE ONE FOR YOU TO TALK TO

ABOUT WHO'S IN THE FAMILY.

MAY I SUGGEST YOUR GRANDFATHER'S GERMAN SHEPHERD!

OH, HEY, BABE. THAT CEMETERY DIRECTOR, HE FAXED ME A MAP.

THEY STILL HAVE A LOT OF DESIRABLE SPOTS OPEN.

SEAN, I'M NOT INTERESTED.

THEY'RE NOT NEXT TO EACH OTHER, BUT WE COULD GET,

SAY, UH...THESE TWO. THEY'RE KITTY CORNER FROM--

I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.

I DON'T WANT TO BE BURIED ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR FAMILY.

LOOK, YOU'RE MAD AT MY DAD. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND--

I'M NOT MAD. I CALLED MY MOM.

SHE CAN GET ME AND THE KIDS A PLOT IN NORTH CAROLINA.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?!

YOU? YOU'RE COVERED.

AS LONG AS NOTHING HAPPENS TO MRS. TINKLES.

LET ME GET THIS FOR YOU.

OH, JIMMY, THIS IS LEXIE, MY GIRLFRIEND.

JIMMY DIDN'T THINK YOU EXISTED.

I NEVER SAID YOU DIDN'T EXIST, OK?

'CAUSE I DO.

I KNOW. BUT YOU'RE NOT BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND.

BABY, YOU THINK YOU HAVE A FRIEND FOR MY BROTHER?

OK, I'M NOT DATING A 10-YEAR-OLD.

I KNOW. YOU'RE NOT DATING ANYONE.

NEITHER ARE YOU!

SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE THAT, BABE.

BABY, YOU CAN'T-- YOU CAN'T BE BURIED IN NORTH CAROLINA!

WE HAVE TO BE TOGETHER!

NO, WE DON'T. "TILL DEATH DO US PART." THAT'S ALL I AGREED TO.

OK, SO YOU'RE MAD! I GET IT!

I'M NOT MAD. HELP ME MOVE THE COUCH.

THE PHOTOGRAPHER WILL BE HERE IN A SECOND.

WHY ARE YOU MOVING THE COUCH OVER THERE?

IT THROWS THE WHOLE ROOM OFF-CENTER.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I WAS JUST WATCHING THAT SHOW WITH THE QUEER GUYS.

ARE YOU OK?

I FEEL LIKE CRAP.

YEAH? THINGS NOT SO GOOD WITH HOPE?

NO, NOT SO GOOD. I SAW ANOTHER WOMAN.

EDWIN FINNERTY?

HEY, SISTER HELEN.

I WAS HOPING WE COULD TALK FOR A FEW MINUTES.

SERIOUSLY?

I HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TURN TO,

AND I KIND OF NEED SOME SPIRITUAL... GUIDANCE.

OK, BUT MAKE IT QUICK.

ACCESS HOLLYWOOD IS ON.

THIS IS A NICE OFFICE.

OH, THANKS. I PUT THE FAUX BARN WOOD IN MYSELF.

THAT'S SOMETHING I SAW ON...ONE OF THOSE DECORATING SHOWS.

THE ONE WITH THE QUEER GUYS?

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THEIR PRIVATE LIVES.

NOW, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

I FEEL LIKE MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING.

WELL, THAT CAN'T BE TRUE. YOU MUST HAVE ACHIEVED SOMETHING.

YOU'D THINK. AND I'VE BEEN THINKING REALLY HARD.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE COME UP WITH?

MY SCHOOL RECORD IN SEVENTH GRADE TRACK.

MM, ACTUALLY, JORDAN ELLISON SHATTERED THAT.

WHO'S HE?

SHE. BUT...

WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM NOW?

I'VE JUST FELT THIS EMPTINESS...

NO MATTER WHETHER I'M SITTING AT HOME WATCHING TV

OR WHETHER I'M TRYING TO HAVE A BABY WITH THIS WOMAN...

WHAT WOMAN WOULD THAT BE?

JUST THIS WOMAN WHO WANTS ME TO IMPREGNATE HER,

SO I'M HAVING SEX WITH HER ALL THE TIME.

YOU'RE SORT OF... OUT OF PRACTICE

ON HOW TO TALK TO A NUN, AREN'T YOU?

I'M SORRY.

LOOK, THE CHURCH HAS A PRETTY WELL-PUBLICIZED POSITION

ON SEX OUTSIDE OF WEDLOCK.

WE'RE AGAINST IT.

YOU'RE DOING ONE OF THE MOST MEANINGFUL THINGS

A HUMAN BEING CAN DO IN A WAY THAT'S UNBELIEVINGLY MEANINGLESS.

RIGHT!

I GUESS I'M REALLY IN A BIND HERE.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. STOP DOING IT.

RIGHT! RIGHT, BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET OFF THIS PATH,

I'LL NEVER BE HAPPY.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT HAPPINESS. I'M A NUN.

I'M SAYING YOU'LL BURN.

YEAH, I GUESS I ALWAYS KNEW IT WASN'T RIGHT.

AND THE LAST COUPLE OF TIMES THAT I'VE HAD SEX WITH THIS WOMAN--

OH, I WISH YOU'D STOP TELLING ME ABOUT THIS!

...THE LAST COUPLE OF TIMES IT'S JUST BEEN REALLY DIFFICULT.

* NA NA NA NA NA I ALMOST COULDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT...

SO HAVE YOU TALKED TO HOPE?

NOT YET.

WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY,

BUT I THINK YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

WELL, THANKS A LOT. I APPRECIATE THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?

HE'S JUST HAPPY THAT I'M NOT GONNA GET

ANY MORE MEANINGLESS SEX.

DAMN RIGHT.

[DOORBELL RINGS] OH, I THINK THAT'S THE PHOTOGRAPHER.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

HI! COME IN. WE'RE ALL SET UP ON THE COUCH.

HEY, GUYS, PICTURE TIME.

OK, GROWN-UPS ON THE COUCH.

WAIT A MINUTE, BABE.

WHERE'S MY DAD?

OH, HE MAY NOT BE MAKING IT.

WHY NOT?

'CAUSE I CALLED HIM AND TOLD HIM IT'S TOMORROW.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

MEOW.

OH, CLAUDIA!

HEY, IF I'M NOT IN HIS FAMILY, HE'S NOT IN MINE.

WELL, I AM IN HIS FAMILY,

AND I'M NOT TAKING THIS PICTURE WITHOUT HIM.

FINE! LILY, COME SIT NEXT TO ME.

NO. BRAD'S IN MY FAMILY, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT WITHOUT HIM.

AND I'M NOT GONNA BE IN IT WITHOUT MY GIRLFRIEND.

COME ON, BABE, WE'RE OUTTA HERE.

ALL RIGHT! YOU DON'T WANNA BE IN MY PICTURE? FINE!

JIMMY, COME SIT NEXT TO ME.

I'M NOT GONNA TAKE A PICTURE WITH JUST MY MOM AND MY UNCLE.

I'LL LOOK LIKE A SPREE KILLER.

FINE!

LET'S DO THIS.

OK!

SMILE IF YOU'RE THINKING 'BOUT SEX!

OK, SO...

YOU GUYS STILL WANT THE PLATINUM PACKAGE?

I DON'T THINK SO.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

OH, HOPE, HI! COME IN.

HI, CLAUDIA. UM, I WAS HOPING TO FIND EDDIE

IF YOU SEE HIM, CAN YOU TELL HIM TO MEET ME

AT MY PLACE FOR THE PROJECT AS SOON AS HE CAN

AND IF POSSIBLE, TO GET READY ON THE WAY?

HE'S HERE.

HE--HE'S IN THE KITCHEN.

OH. GREAT.

EDDIE, WHAT'S UP? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANSWERING YOUR PHONE.

I'M SORRY. I WAS KINDA BUSY.

WELL, COME ON. LET'S ROCK 'N ROLL.

I'M DROPPING EGGS LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY.

HEY, LISTEN,

YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS ANYMORE.

IS IT ME?

I MEAN, THE GIGGLING IS JUST SOMETHING THAT I DO.

IT--IT MEANS YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB.

NO, HEY, LISTEN, THE GIGGLING...

IT ACTUALLY HELPS ME.

BUT, LOOK, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST I'M AT A POINT

WHERE I FEEL LIKE I MEAN SOME MEANING IN MY LIFE

AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULD

FIND SOMEBODY ELSE TO DO THIS WITH.

REALLY?

I MEAN, I CAN'T JUST KEEP DOING THINGS

THAT DON'T ADD UP TO ANYTHING.

IF I'M GONNA HAVE A BABY,

I'M GONNA WANT TO BE PART OF ITS LIFE.

OH, GOD! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

HAVE A GUY LIKE YOU COME OVER, HAVE SEX WITH ME,

AND LEAVE? TOO GOOD TO LAST.

I'M SORRY.

THAT'S OK.

WELL, I GUESS, UH... I SHOULD GO.

I MEAN, MAYBE WE-- WHAT IF WE WENT OUT OR SOMETHING?

YOU KNOW, WHAT IF WE... WENT TO THE MOVIES?

YOU MEAN LIKE A DATE?

MAYBE IF WE WENT OUT ON A DATE

AND THEN AFTER THAT IF WE STILL LIKED EACH OTHER,

THEN WE COULD THINK ABOUT MAKING A BABY.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT MY SISTER DID,

AND SHE'S GOT 2 BABIES!

LET'S, UH... LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT.

YEAH. LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT. SOUNDS GOOD.

GOOD!

HEY, UNCLE EDDIE. THIS YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

JUST A FRIEND, BUT WE'RE GONNA GO OUT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

I HEAR THAT.

WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL. YOU'VE DRIVEN BRAD AWAY.

DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT MAYBE YOU DROVE HIM AWAY?

NO.

LET ME REPHRASE THAT.

YOU DROVE HIM AWAY.

Walt: MAY I COME IN?

BRAD! YOU'RE ALL MUCKY.

YEP. ALL 3 LAYERS.

DAD, WHERE WERE YOU?

I REALIZED I DID SOMETHING STUPID.

I HURT SOMEONE WHO IS VERY, VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

AND I HAD TO MAKE IT RIGHT.

[WHISTLING]

[SHOUTING] DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP WHISTLING?!

IT HELPS WITH THE REVULSION.

[WHISTLING]

WELL, CUT IT OUT!

YOU DRAGGED BRAD TO THE CEMETERY?

WELL, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN SEAN,

BUT I WAS TOO ASHAMED TO CALL HERE.

OH, WALT, WHAT ABOUT YOUR BACK, YOU KNOW?

AND YOU'RE SOAKED. YOU MUST BE FREEZING!

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU'RE A PART OF MY FAMILY.

THAT CAT DIDN'T BELONG IN THAT GRAVE. YOU DO.

THANK YOU, WALT--

OK, LET'S TAKE THIS PICTURE!

YEAH, AND BRAD, YOU'RE PART OF MY FAMILY.

AND I--

HE IS NOT IN THE PICTURE.

HEY, SEAN, HE DUG UP A DEAD CAT FOR ME.

I CAN BE A LITTLE FLEXIBLE.

THANK YOU, MOM!

COME ON, EVERYBODY!

[SQUEALS] AW...

ALL RIGHT. I'M READY.