Original subtitles

YOU KNOW, I AM A REALLY GOOD GIRLFRIEND.

MM-HMM.

NO, REALLY.

I MEAN, BRAD'S ALL DEPRESSED BECAUSE HIS PARENTS SPLIT UP,

AND DO I JUST IGNORE IT?

NO, I--I'M WORKING MY BUTT OFF TO THROW HIM

A FABULOUS PARTY TO CHEER HIM UP.

WELL, AND I MUST A REALLY GREAT MOTHER OF BRAD'S GIRLFRIEND

'CAUSE I SEEM TO BE DOING TWICE AS MUCH WORK FOR THIS PARTY AS YOU.

MOM, THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT BRAD.

OH, GOD, I MAKE GOOD PUNCH!

I GOT THE PIÑATA.

NO! NOT GREEN!

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GRAY ALIEN,

THE KIND THE ARMY'S HIDING FROM US IN ROSWELL.

LILY, I THINK YOU AND BRAD

MIGHT BE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME TOGETHER.

I'M SORRY. I JUST WANT HIS BIRTHDAY TO BE PERFECT.

HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK AT THIS CAKE.

IT SAYS, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRA."

WHAT?!

OH, MOM, HENRY AT THE "D."

HENRY.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A BRA'S BIRTHDAY.

I DIDN'T GET THE BRA ANYTHING. HA!

SO, WHO'S COMING TO THE PARTY,

A COUPLE OF BOOBS?

GREAT, THERE ARE NO MORE "D's."

I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO USE HIS INITIALS.

OH. I DON'T KNOW.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, B.O.?"

OH, HEY, LOOK,

IT'S THE BIRTHDAY BOY HIMSELF.

BIRTHDAY BOY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

OH, COME ON, BRAD, CHEER UP.

IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD PARTY.

YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE FUN.

NO, NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SURE IT'LL BE GREAT.

HEY, CHECK OUT THE PIÑATA.

THAT'S NOT A GRAY ALIEN.

THIS WAS THE ONLY KIND THEY HAD.

NO, THAT'S THE ONLY KIND

THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO HAVE.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T BE SEEING ANY OF THIS.

LET'S GET YOU OUT OF HERE. COME ON.

POOR BRAD.

YEAH, THINGS MIGHT BE LOOKING UP FOR BRAD.

I INVITED HIS DAD OVER HERE TONIGHT.

YOU DID NOT. I DID.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? CONNIE'S GONNA BE HERE.

YEAH, I KNOW, BABY.

WELL, I GET THE FEELING

SHE'S A LITTLE UPSET ABOUT HIM CHEATING.

CONNIE?

OH, HI, CLAUDIA.

DOES SEAN NEED ANY UNDERPANTS?

I DON'T THINK SO.

WHAT ABOUT SHOES, PANTS,

THIS FISH DAN CAUGHT IN FLORIDA?

UH, I THINK HE'S GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, WATCH OUT.

LOOK, I DON'T BLAME HER FOR BEING FURIOUS.

BUT COME ON, THE GUY MAKES ONE MISTAKE

AND HIS LIFE'S RUINED?

HE MADE ONE MISTAKE?

HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE FOR 2 YEARS.

YEAH, BUT IT WASN'T LIKE A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT MISTAKES.

I MEAN, IT WAS THE SAME MISTAKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

OK, LOOK,

THAT'S NOT A GOOD ARGUMENT.

BUT THE POINT IS,

DAN'S LIVING AT THE "Y." HIS LIFE IS A WRECK.

I WAS JUST CRUISING ALONG,

THINKING THAT CONNIE WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE

NO MATTER WHAT I DID.

UH-HUH.

I'M TELLING YOU,

NEVER TAKE YOUR WOMAN FOR GRANTED, YOU HEAR ME?

NEVER.

SO, I'M SORRY.

I TOOK PITY ON THE GUY, AND I INVITED HIM OVER.

HONEY, DO YOU REALLY THINK JUST THROWING THEM IN A ROOM TOGETHER

IS GONNA MAGICALLY SOLVE ALL THEIR PROBLEMS?

WELL, IT'S A START.

I MEAN, IF THEY START TO COMMUNICATE--

NO, THAT IS A DUMB PLAN.

BABY, IT'S NOT A PLAN, IT'S A START.

HEY, DAD, WHERE'S THE CANDY FOR THIS PIÑATA?

IT'S INSIDE OF IT.

NO, IT ISN'T.

WHAT?

THEN WHY THE HELL DID THEY SAY "DELUXE PIÑATA" IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

"DELUXE PIÑATA" MY ASS!

GO BUY SOME CANDY, OK?

OK, FINE.

HEY, WHILE YOU'RE THERE, WILL YOU GET A "D?"

I TOOK A "P," TOO. GET IT? A "P."

ALL RIGHT, YOU ARE OUT OF HERE, MISTER.

WAIT! I GOT MORE!

I'M SURE YOU DO.

SEE, ISN'T THIS NICE?

YEAH, YES.

OH, LOOK, YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE.

WHAT'S UP, MAN?

HEY, BRAD, THIS IS SO MUCH COOLER

THAN LAST YEAR'S AT CHUCK E. CHEESE'S.

YOU WENT TO CHUCK E. CHEESE FOR YOUR 16th BIRTHDAY?

NO, NO, WE WERE JUST GOOFIN' ON IT.

LIKE WE WOULD BE AT CHUCK E. CHEESE'S.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

YEAH.

BUT YOU WERE AT CHUCK E. CHEESE.

THAT WAITRESS WAS TOTALLY CHECKING YOU OUT, MAN.

NOT ONE OF THE ONES DRESSED UP LIKE AN ANIMAL, RIGHT?

NO! NO! NO!

IT'S REALLY FUNNY.

I KNOW!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHAT YOU JUST SAID. IT--

YOU'VE KISSED SOMEONE WITH A MUSTACHE?

NO. NO. OH, NO, NOT ME.

I--WELL, I MEAN, WHEN I HAD A MUSTACHE, I, YOU KNOW--

YOU NEVER HAD A MUSTACHE.

YOU STILL HAVE PEACH FUZZ.

NO. NO, THIS IS 5 O'CLOCK SHADOW.

SERIOUSLY, I JUST FORGOT TO SHAVE TODAY.

YOU SHAVE?

YES, I SHAVE!

GOD, I HADN'T REALIZED IT GOT SO BAD.

WHEW.

DID YOU GET THE CANDY?

YEAH.

[SNIFFS]

I DROPPED SOME, BABY.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

I SAW SOMETHING, OK?

I SAW SOMETHING.

EDDIE.

UGH!

OH!

YOUR BROTHER WAS MAKING OUT WITH BRAD'S MOM?

YEAH.

HOW COULD HE?

I KNOW. SHE'S SO NAGGY AND SHRILL.

SEAN!

WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, RIGHT?

I'M SAYING SHE'S SO VULNERABLE,

AND HE TOTALLY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER.

OH, WELL, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

WELL, YOUR PLAN

TO GET CONNIE AND DAN BACK TOGETHER

IS CERTAINLY WORKING OUT WELL.

CAN WE-- CAN WE JUST TRY

AND GET THROUGH THIS PARTY, ALL RIGHT?

SO, NOW, WH--WH-- WHAT ARE WE GONNA SHOVE IN THIS ALIEN?

I HAVE COUGH DROPS.

OK, THAT'S GOOD. PUT 'EM IN THERE.

I GOT SOME FRUIT. FRUIT.

HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

I'M JUST DROPPING THIS GIFT OFF FOR BRAD. I CAN'T STAY.

YOU GOT HIM A HOCKEY STICK?

SHH!

WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

CONTEXT?

HOW THE HELL COULD YOU GO AFTER CONNIE O'KEEFE?

OK, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

SHE IS VULNERABLE,

AND YOU TOTALLY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER.

I WAS BEING CHIVALROUS.

HEY, MRS. O'KEEFE.

OH, HI, EDDIE.

SO, HEY, CAN I GIVE YOU A LIFT?

UM, OK, THANKS.

IS THIS A CAR?

Eddie: YES, IT IS.

SO, WHEN DAN TOOK THE JOB, I MOVED WITH HIM.

IT'S SO STRANGE, THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE IN LIFE

WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT.

YEAH. WELL, HERE WE ARE.

AND EVEN THOUGH THERE IS THIS TINY VOICE INSIDE OF YOU THAT'S GOING,

"HEY, SOMETHING'S WRONG," YOU KNOW, YOU JUST IGNORE IT,

'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT IT TO BE TRUE. YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

THAT'S YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT?

BUT THAT VOICE DOES NOT GO AWAY.

AND YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR LIFE IS FLYING BY,

FASTER AND FASTER.

YOU NEED HELP WITH THAT DOOR? I KNOW IT GETS STUCK.

AND LIFE'S NOT A PARKING METER.

YOU CAN'T BUY MORE TIME, YOU KNOW?

YOU PROBABLY NEED TO GET THAT MILK IN THE FRIDGE, SO...

YEAH, SO...

YEAH.

ANYHOW...

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M REALIZING ABOUT MY LIFE, EDDIE?

IT IS MY TURN TO GET ME SOME.

"IT'S MY TURN TO GET ME SOME"?

THOSE WERE HER EXACT WORDS.

YOU EXPECT US TO BELIEVE SHE TALKS LIKE THAT?

OOH, I DON'T KNOW.

I CAN KIND OF HEAR HER SAYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

YOU CAN?

WELL, YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN TALK.

NO. NO, BABY. HOW--HOW DO THEY TALK?

LOOK, SHE'D BEEN JILTED.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE.

DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF, CON.

HE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO OUT AND ACT LIKE A DOG.

YEAH, AND WHERE WAS I?

AT HOME, BAKING BROWNIES WITH NO NUTS.

I LOVE NUTS. I LOVE THEM,

BUT DAN DOESN'T LIKE THEM, SO GUESS WHAT? NO NUTS.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO HAVE YOUR NUTS.

YOU THINK?

SISTER, IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO GO OUT

AND GET YOU SOME.

YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT!

INTERESTING STRATEGY.

HEY, I SAID GET SOME, NOT GET SOME OF THAT.

THANKS. THANKS A LOT.

OH, GOD. NOW DAN O'KEEFE'S COMING OVER,

AND NOW SHE AND EDDIE ARE ALL HOOKED UP.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHY'S DAN COMING OVER?

IT'S PART OF SEAN'S PLAN.

IT'S NOT A PLAN.

STUPID PLAN.

AGAIN, IT'S NOT A PLAN, BUT THOSE TWO HAVE TO COMMUNICATE.

IF THEY DON'T COMMUNICATE,

HOW WILL THEY PATCH THINGS UP?

YOU GOT TO TALK TO HER.

I GOT A BETTER IDEA.

IT'S CALLED LAY LOW.

LAY LOW?

YEAH, LAY LOW, LIE LOW, WHATEVER.

AFTER A WHILE, YOU KNOW, A FEW WEEKS,

SHE'LL GET THE HINT.

NO, NO. YOU GOT TO TELL HER RIGHT NOW.

YOU GOT TO TELL HER THERE'S NO FUTURE BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU

OR DAN DOESN'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL.

ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER YOU SAY.

YOU'RE THE MAN WITH THE PLAN.

RAZOR, RAZOR.

[SIGHS]

SMOOTH ENOUGH FOR A LADY.

OW!

HEE-YAH.

IT'S COOL.

Jimmy: OHH! [DOORBELL RINGS]

CLAUDIA!

CONNIE! HI. HOW'S IT GOING?

GREAT!

I TOOK YOUR ADVICE.

I GOT SOME,

AND IT WAS SO GOOD.

OK. UM...

NOW THAT YOU GOT SOME,

YOU SHOULD STOP. DON'T GET ANYMORE.

WHY NOT?

SEE, WHEN WE SAY, "GET SOME,"

WE MEAN JUST A REALLY TINY AMOUNT.

HI, MOM!

HI, HONEY.

LILY, HOW ARE YOU, SWEETHEART?

FINE, THANK YOU.

WOW! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU THIS HAPPY IN WEEKS.

HA HA. EVERYBODY LOVES A PARTY. HA HA.

YOU'RE ALL AGLOW.

YEAH, SHE'S HAPPY. WE GET IT.

WE'RE GOING TO DO THE PIÑATA. YOU GUYS WANT TO COME?

OH-- YEAH, YEAH. IN JUST A MINUTE.

WE JUST HAVE TO DISCUSS ONE LITTLE THING.

OK.

WHAT'S UP? ACTUALLY EDDIE HAS SOMETHING

TO SAY TO YOU.

WELL, THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I'D LIKE TO SAY TO HIM, TOO.

[GIGGLING]

WELL, THEN, THAT WORKS OUT.

EDDIE!

HI.

HI.

WELL, WHATEVER IT IS THE 2 OF YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT,

GO AT IT--GO FOR IT.

TALK.

HI.

SO...

SO, YEAH, WE NEED TO TALK.

YOU MEAN THAT SEXY MOUTH CAN TALK, TOO?

LISTEN, CONNIE,

YOU KNOW, THINGS BEING AS THEY ARE,

I DON'T THINK IT'S SUCH A GOOD--

OH, HEY, LIL.

HI, BRAD.

WHAT'S WRONG? NOTHING.

LILY. NOTHING'S WRONG.

EVERYTHING'S GREAT.

COME ON. ARE YOU FEELING OK? WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING HAPPENED. HMM.

OH, MY GOD! DID MITCHELL EAT A STRAWBERRY?!

WE NEED BENADRYL!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! THAT'S NOT IT.

WELL THEN, WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING HAPPENED.

BUT YOU SAID THAT'S NOT IT.

THERE'S OBVIOUSLY AN "IT,"

SO THERE'S SOME--OH, MY GOD! DID SOMEBODY DIE?

DID GRANDMA DIE?

NO! NOBODY DIED.

I SAW YOUR MOM...

LILY, JUST TELL ME.

AND MY UNCLE...

KISSING.

LIKE ON THE LIPS?

YEAH.

OH.

OK.

I'M SORRY.

ARE YOU OK?

YEAH. YEAH, I'M GOOD.

THE PARTY'S GREAT. YOU KNOW.

PUNCH IS FANTASTIC.

YEAH.

LET'S GET MORE PUNCH.

HOW, ED, HOW? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT AGAIN?!

IT JUST HAPPENED AGAIN!

SHE'S GOT A THING FOR ME.

SHE'S UNCONTROLLABLE.

I'M LIKE THE DEVIL'S CANDY OR SOMETHING.

OH! OH, SO THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN DISCOURAGE THIS WOMAN?

WELL, I COULD GET FAT, BUT IT WOULD TAKE A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

OK, TELL ME SOMETHING.

DO YOU REALLY LIKE HER?

DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR THIS WOMAN?

NO.

ED, YOU GOT TO COME CLEAN. OK?

WITH HER. 'CAUSE SHE IS OUT THERE RIGHT NOW

HAVING A BUNCH OF FANTASIES ABOUT YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER.

BASED ON THE FACT THAT YOU KEEP MAKING OUT WITH HER.

WELL, UH, YOU KNOW, THE WOMAN'S DETERMINED.

I-I'M WORRIED THAT THE NEXT TIME,

SHE WON'T STOP UNTIL THINGS HAVE REACHED THEIR NATURAL CONCLUSION.

OH!

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

NOW BRAD KNOWS ABOUT YOU AND HIS MOM.

HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT IT?

I SAW IT.

AND YOU TOLD BRAD.

YES, BECAUSE OUR RELATIONSHIP IS BASED IN HONESTY,

UNLIKE YOURS AND MRS. O'KEEFE,

WHICH IS BASED ON...

YECCH!

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

THIS IS WHY I DON'T DATE MARRIED WOMEN.

JUST A MINUTE!

[ALL GRUMBLING]

IS LILY'S BROTHER STILL IN THERE?

DUDE, YOU OK?

YEAH, I'M FINE!

Jimmy: AAH!

[CHEERING AND YELLING]

AAH! WHOA!

EDDIE, LOOK, IT'S AN ALIEN!

I SEE. LISTEN, I THINK WE, UH...

I THINK WE...

AAH! OH! GO, BRAD!

HIT IT! YEAH! COME ON, BRAD!

HYAH!

COME ON.

BRAD, BRAD, BRAD! BRAD, BRAD!

AAH!

[SHOUTING]

YOU'LL HURT THE CANDY!

YOU'RE NOT LETTING OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TURNS.

OH! BRAD! HELP!

BEAD! TAKE IT EASY, BRAD. GET A GRIP.

YOU'RE ACTING LIKE SPOCK DURING THE PON FAR!

[GASPING] I'M COOL. I'M COOL.

YOU KNOW, IT'S GETTING LATE.

FRUIT?

FRUIT?!

WHAT KIND OF A SICK JOKE IS THIS?!

LEAVING THE PARTY SO SOON?

HEY, BRAD, HOW'S IT GOING?

IT'S GOING GREAT.

MOTHERLOVER!

NOW, BRAD, LET ME GET THAT BAT. GIVE IT TO ME.

NO. I MIGHT WANT TO USE IT.

I MEAN, THE LADIES THINK YOU'RE SO SWEET,

YOU MUST BE FILLED WITH CANDY.

MAYBE I'LL JUST BEAT THE CANDY OUT OF YOU!

I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE REALLY UPSET.

WHY DON'T WE...

SIT DOWN? YOU GIVE ME THE BAT AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT.

ALL RIGHT, KEEP THE BAT.

WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN,

TALK IT OUT?

BRAD, YOU LISTEN TO ME.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, OK?

[SIGHS]

I KNOW YOU WANT YOUR PARENTS TO PATCH THINGS UP,

AND, BELIEVE ME,

I DON'T WANT TO COME BETWEEN THEM.

OH, YOU DON'T?

YOUR MOM SURPRISED ME, YOU KNOW?

SHE WAS ALL OVER ME. SHE WAS UNSTOPPABLE.

I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

ARE YOU SAYING MY MOM JUST THREW HERSELF AT YOU?

WHAT, LIKE A-- LIKE A TRAMP, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

NO. YOU KNOW, BRAD, YOU GOT ME, OK?

YOU GOT ME.

I'M--I...

IT WAS ME, ALL ME.

YOUR MOM DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS AWKWARD FOR ME TO SAY, OK,

BUT YOUR MOM'S GOT IT GOING ON.

ALL RIGHT?

REALLY?

YOU'RE BLIND TO IT BECAUSE YOU'RE HER SON.

WHEN I SEE HER, I DON'T SEE A MOM.

I SEE A VERY INTRIGUING LADY.

GOD, I HATE MYSELF.

WELL, SHE'S--SHE'S A VERY PRETTY LADY.

SHE'S--MY MOM IS A NICE LADY.

STOP, BRAD! STOP TAUNTING ME WITH SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE!

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

YOU BETTER CHECK YOURSELF.

I WILL.

WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME THE BAT?

ED, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

I'M TELLIN' YA, THE KID'S MESSED UP.

YEAH, OF COURSE HE'S MESSED UP.

IT'S BEEN A ROUGH DAY.

I'M GOING TO GO SEE IF HE'S OK.

HOW YOU DOING, BRAD?

OH, I'M--I'M OK.

I JUST WISH I'D GONE TO CHUCK E. CHEESE'S.

I KNOW. IT'S GOING TO BE OK, BRAD.

ALL RIGHT?

SOMETIMES IT'S EASY TO FORGET THAT MOM'S ARE PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW?

BUT IF A WOMAN REACHES OUT IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS,

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

REALLY?

OH, TRUST ME. IT'S TRUE.

JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY'S A MOM DOESN'T MEAN

SHE DOESN'T HAVE DESIRES AND NEEDS, TOO.

UM, MRS. FINNERTY?

ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ME?

WHAT?!

NO! I'M TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

BY SEDUCING ME?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

UH, NOTHING!

SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY, NOTHING.

WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK TO THE PARTY, BRAD?

WE HAVE PRESENTS TO OPEN.

OHH.

MR. FINNERTY, THERE'S A LADY IN YOUR LIFE WHO NEEDS A LITTLE ATTENTION.

WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?

YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

UH, EDDIE, WOULD YOU MIND WALKING ME NEXT DOOR?

UM, I NEED TO GET ME SOMETHING.

YEAH.

YEAH, LET'S GO.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ANYWAY.

CONNIE, THESE LAST FEW HOURS HAVE MEANT THE WORLD TO ME,

AND, UH...

OH, HI, DAN.

EDDIE.

HELLO, CONNIE.

DAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M HERE FOR OUR SON'S BIRTHDAY

AND TO SEE YOU.

WELL, YOU 2 WILL HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT NO DOUBT, UH...

AND WE DON'T.

THAT'S FAIR.

DUDE, YOU'VE GOT TO WRAP IT UP!

NOT TOO BAD.

LET'S DO IT.

HI. HOW'S IT GOING?

HEY, ALISON.

JIMMY, IS YOUR FACE OK?

YEAH, IT'S FINE.

I WAS JUST GRABBING A QUICK SHAVE.

OH...BECAUSE YOUR FACE LOOKS A LITTLE...

YEAH, I KNOW.

MAY HAVE NICKED MYSELF A LITTLE. NO BIGGIE.

IT'S ALL PART OF THE MALE EXPERIENCE.

OK.

IT'S GETTING A LITTLE GROSS.

OH. REALLY?

OH, MY GOD!

Mitchell: EXCUSE ME. DUDE! OCCUPIED!

CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING? SHH!

CHECK IT OUT! BRAD GOT A PERSONAL AIR CONDITIONER.

YEAH. KINDA HARD TO TELL IF IT WORKS, THOUGH.

IT'S ALREADY KINDA COLD.

UH-OH. WHAT'S WRONG?

UH, BRAD, YOUR-- YOUR DAD'S HERE.

HE IS? BUT MY MOM--

Claudia: I KNOW.

I KNOW. IT'S ALL PART OF SEAN'S PLAN.

WHAT KIND OF STUPID PLAN IS THAT?!

OK, CAN WE STOP USING THE WORD PLAN, PLEASE?

OH, MY GOD.

NO, BRAD, I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD-- BRAD!

BRAD!

OH, CONNIE BEAR.

OH, DAN!

I'M SO SORRY!

OH, I'VE BEEN SO LONELY!

AAH! AAH!

WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE OUT, YOU IDIOT.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, DAD.

OH, I'VE MISSED YOU.

COME ON, BRAD. TIME FOR CAKE.

WHOO! ALL RIGHT.

ANYONE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY MY STUPID PLAN NOW? DON'T THINK SO.