Original subtitles

HEY, ED, WHAT'S UP?

SEAN, WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE TOILETRIES?

OH, I DON'T KNOW. THEY'RE CLAUDIA'S.

SHE'S HAVING SOME KIND OF PARTY TOMORROW.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE SOME OF THIS LOTION?

I'VE GOT MORE THAN I NEED HERE.

NO, THANKS. NO, THANKS.

NO. NO.

COME ON. JUST HAVE A LITTLE BIT.

NO.

AAH! COME ON. WHAT YOU DO THAT FOR?

YOU COULD HAVE EASILY HAVE PREVENTED THAT.

OH, GOOD. FAYE BROUGHT ALL THE STUFF.

YEAH, HEY, WHAT'S THE DEAL?

OH, FAYE AND I ARE HOSTING AN ESPER'S OILS PARTY.

A WHAT?

ESPER'S OILS.

THEY'RE SPA-QUALITY BATH AND BODY PRODUCTS.

WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO SELL THIS STUFF?

YEAH. DON'T YOU REMEMBER, A FEW MONTHS AGO,

I WENT OVER TO REGINA'S. SHE HAD A PARTY.

I BOUGHT ALL SORTS OF STUFF.

DO YOU HAVE ANY, UH, EXFOLIATING FACIAL SCRUBS?

YES, ACTUALLY, I HAVE AN APRICOT SCRUB THAT'S REALLY--

YOU'RE MOCKING ME.

YEAH, I'M SORRY.

NO. THAT'S OK. YOU KNOW WHAT?

TODAY, YOU TWO AREN'T GOING TO GET TO ME.

OK, WHY? W-WHAT ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT?

OH, NOTHING, REALLY. JUST, UM, OUT OF CURIOSITY,

WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE MARRIED TO A MODEL?

I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY BE KIND OF A DRAG.

I WAS JUST WONDERING 'CAUSE TODAY

I WAS APPROACHED BY A FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER.

WHAT? WHY?

'CAUSE HE SAID I--I HAVE AN INCREDIBLE LOOK.

CAN I HELP YOU?

OH, I'M--I'M SORRY. I'M STARING, AREN'T I?

YES, YOU ARE.

OH, WELL, UH, PARDON ME.

BUT, YOU SEE, I'M--

EXCUSE ME. I'M--I'M A PHOTOGRAPHER,

AND, UH, YOU HAVE AN INCREDIBLE LOOK.

WHERE HAVE I SEEN YOU BEFORE?

UH, I--I DON'T KNOW.

YOU DO CATALOG WORK. BLOOMINGDALE'S?

NO. I'VE NEVER DONE MODELING.

THAT JUST SURPRISES ME.

WOULD YOU MIND IF I WAS TO GIVE YOU MY CARD?

WOULD YOU--WOULD YOU CONSIDER CALLING ME?

"DEREK PURCELL, FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER.

NEW YORK, LONDON, PARIS, AND...HANOI"?

VIETNAM IS THE NEW BRAZIL.

BUT, UH, IT'S JUST SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

THANKS.

HE WANTS TO TAKE SOME PICTURES OF ME.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

YEAH. HE WANTS TO TAKE PICTURES

OF YOU AND HIM DOING IT.

EXCUSE ME?

COME ON. EDDIE'S RIGHT, CLAUDIA.

THIS GUY WAS HITTING ON YOU.

NO, HE WASN'T.

OH, VIETNAM'S THE NEW BRAZIL? PLEASE!

NEPAL IS THE NEW BRAZIL. THIS GUY'S A HACK.

HE'S A PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER.

NO. THIS GUY'S A SCAM ARTIST.

MY OWN BROTHER'S ONE OF THOSE GUYS.

I'VE SEEN GUYS LIKE THIS IN ACTION.

I KNOW HOW IT GOES DOWN.

CAN I HELP YOU?

YOU COULD HURT ME AND ALL I WOULD SAY IS THANK YOU.

YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.

I'M A PHOTOGRAPHER. YOU MUST BE A MODEL.

I'VE NEVER DONE ANY MODELING WORK.

WHAT? WITH THAT RACK?

THAT'S CRAZY.

NOT LETTING THOSE BE PHOTOGRAPHED,

THAT'S LIKE NOT LETTING A CHEETAH RUN.

IT'S UNNATURAL. IT'S CRUEL.

DO ME A FAVOR. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.

DO THOSE A FAVOR, AND TAKE MY CARD.

CALL ME.

THAT'S UNCANNY. WERE YOU WATCHING FROM ACROSS THE STREET?

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

HEY! HEY, WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING THERE?

DON'T WORRY. WE WERE JUST LISTENING.

YEAH. COULD YOU PLEASE GO SOMEPLACE ELSE?

DOES THIS GUY EVER SHOOT FOR MAXIM?

GO!

I'M JUST SAYING YOU WAY UNDERESTIMATE

THE DEPTHS TO WHICH A MAN

WILL SINK TO SCORE WITH A HOT CHICK.

THAT IS SO INSULTING.

HOW? I'M CALLING YOU A HOT CHICK.

YEAH. HE'S CALLING YOU A HOT CHICK.

SHUT UP.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD TAKE A PAGE FROM THAT GUY'S BOOK.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LOOK, YOU WANT TO SCORE

WITH LORNA PAKOSTA, RIGHT?

WELL, THEN, YOU GOTTA BE GUTSY,

TAKE NO PRISONERS,

LIKE THAT GUY WHO HIT ON YOUR MOM.

HE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT LOOKING STUPID, AND HE ALMOST SCORED.

HE DID NOT ALMOST SCORE ON MY MOM.

WHO TRIED TO SCORE ON MOM?

OH, NOBODY. HE'S AN IDIOT.

I KNOW.

WATCH THIS.

LILY, ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU YOU GOT THE GOODS?

WHAT?

I'M JUST SAYING, I GOT A NEW CAMERA,

FILM, BATTERIES, THE WHOLE 9 YARDS.

OH, AND YOU'D LIKE TO TAKE MY PICTURE?

YES. PERHAPS WE COULD DISCUSS THIS FURTHER

BEHIND SOME NEARBY GARAGE.

I HOPE YOU WERE TAKING NOTES.

HEY, JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME.

COME ON! I DID YOU A SOLID!

THAT WAS A SOLID? NO. THAT WAS A DISASTER!

I GOT RESULTS!

GUYS, WHAT IS GOING ON?

NOTHING!

BOBBY MADE A SOLID.

I DIDN'T MAKE A SOLID.

I DID JIMMY A SOLID.

I'M STILL NOT CLEAR ON THE DIFFERENCE.

MY YEARBOOK PICTURES CAME!

OOH! OPEN THEM.

OH, MY GOD!

OH, MY GOD!

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? LET ME SEE.

THEY'RE GROTESQUE!

MY GOODNESS.

THOSE AREN'T SO BAD.

THEY'RE HORRIBLE!

I--I--I LOOK LIKE A HIDEOUS CROSS

BETWEEN A--A LEPRECHAUN AND A--I DON'T KNOW--

WHATEVER WOULD HAVE SEX WITH A LEPRECHAUN.

COME ON. IT'S ONE PICTURE.

I MEAN, YOU ARE GORGEOUS.

OH, AND WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW?

YOU'VE NEVER TAKEN A BAD PICTURE IN YOUR LIFE.

YOU HAVE BOYS THINKING YOU'RE A MODEL.

ONE BOY.

WELL, MAYBE HE COULD TAKE MY PICTURE.

FOR FREAK MAGAZINE!

HONEY, COME ON.

YOU ARE A BABE. YOU NEED TO RELAX.

MAYBE--MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO AN ESPER'S EFFERVESCENT MINERAL SOAK.

OK. CAN I USE A MUD MASK, TOO?

YEAH, SURE. WHATEVER, TAKE IT.

OH, SURE! ANYTHING TO COVER UP THE MONSTER!

I DON'T SEE WHAT YOU'RE SO UPSET ABOUT.

YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GET CLOSE TO LORNA.

I'M WELL AWARE OF WHAT I SAID, YOU MORON.

WHAT'D YOU DO?

YOUR BROTHER WAS TOO SCARED TO MAKE HIS MOVE,

SO I MOVED HIM.

GO SAY SOMETHING.

I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT.

OH, WELL, HERE IT IS.

OW!

HEY, LORNA.

HEY, JIMMY.

YEAH, WELL,

THAT GEOMETRY QUIZ WAS SOMETHING ELSE, HUH?

YEAH, I GUESS.

SOH-CAH-TOA, RIGHT?

WHAT?

OH, YOU KNOW, SINE IS EQUAL

TO OPPOSITE OVER HYPOTENUSE.

SO COSINE--

OK, OK, OK, OK. ENOUGH OF THIS HYPOTENUSES.

SO, LORNA, WE'RE HAVING A STUDY PARTY

OVER TO JIMMY'S HOUSE. IT'S GONNA BE WILD.

WHAT?

REALLY?

YEAH. I'M GOING

TO BRING OVER MY JERKY BOYS TAPES,

THE UNCUT VERSION.

SO, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS COME?

WOW. GOOD WORK.

NO. IT WAS HUMILIATING.

IS LORNA NOT COMING OVER HERE OR NOT?

YOU DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH.

OH, GOD. WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

IT'S NOT A SMELL. IT'S A SCENT.

WHAT SCENT?

UH, LAVENDER AND JASMINE

AND FRESIA AND LILY.

YEAH, WELL, MY EYES ARE WATERING.

YOU SHOULD BLOW THEM OUT.

Claudia: NO.

I MEAN, GOD FORBID FOR ONE DAY

OUR HOUSE DOESN'T SMELL LIKE BACON AND PLAY-DOH.

WELL, I'M BLOWING THEM OUT.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. DON'T YOU TOUCH THOSE CANDLES.

YOU TWO KNOW AS LITTLE ABOUT AROMATHERAPY

AS YOU DO ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY.

OOH. OOH.

AFTER WHAT YOU SAID YESTERDAY,

I CALLED DEREK PURCELL AT HIS STUDIO,

AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW,

HE WASN'T FLIRTING WITH ME. HE'S MARRIED.

OH, MY GOD. EDDIE, HOW COULD WE BE SO WRONG?

A MARRIED MAN'S NEVER HIT ON A WOMAN BEFORE.

IT JUST EATS YOU UP THAT SOMEONE

MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE AN ARTISTIC INTEREST

IN TAKING MY PICTURE.

OH, COME ON, BABY! THIS GUY, DEREK PURCELL, IS A GUY.

OK? HE WANTS TO GET IN YOUR PANTS.

AND EVERYONE AGREES WITH ME ON THIS.

OH, WHO IS EVERYONE?

I TOOK A POLL.

SO YOU GONNA KICK HIS ASS, SEAN?

I SHOULD, RIGHT? I MEAN, THE JERK WAS HITTING ON HER.

PHOTOGRAPHER? AND SHE BOUGHT IT!

THE CARD THAT SAID PHOTOGRAPHER,

WHICH MEANS, HEY, I'M A PHOTOGRAPHER.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE OFF YOUR TOP WHILE I TAKE--

YEAH. YEAH, RIGHT, LIKE WOMEN ARE REALLY GOING TO BELIEVE

SOME BIG FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER LIVES ON STATEN ISLAND.

HEY, HEY, IT WORKED WITH HIS WIFE.

HEY, HEY, HOW DO YOU THINK I MET HER?

I--I--I ONCE SCORED BY TELLING A WOMAN I WAS CHUCK YEAGER.

ISN'T HE, LIKE, 80?

I TOLD HER SUPERSONIC FLIGHTS

SLOWS THE AGING PROCESS.

BUT WHY GO TO ALL THAT TROUBLE

WHEN ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS PRINT UP

A FEW BOGUS BUSINESS CARDS AND HELLO, LADIES.

SO YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS

JUST SAT AROUND LAUGHING AT HOW STUPID I AM?

NO, THEY'RE NOT MY FRIENDS.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE GUYS.

OH, THAT HELPS.

BABY, I WAS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU.

RIGHT. BECAUSE I'M TOO STUPID TO KNOW WHEN I'M BEING HIT ON.

NOT STUPID. NAIVE.

SHUT UP, EDDIE.

EDDIE IS RIGHT, BABY. YOU'RE KIND OF GULLIBLE.

I MEAN, LOOK HOW YOU FELL FOR THIS WHOLE ESPER'S OILS SCAM.

FELL FOR IT? THIS IS A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.

WHAT? IT'S A PYRAMID SCHEME!

IT IS NOT!

YES, I HAD TO PAY REGINA A FEE TO HOST MY PARTY,

BUT IF ANY OF MY FRIENDS

WANT TO HOST THEIR OWN PARTIES,

THEY HAVE TO PAY ME.

OH, WOW! THAT SOUNDS VAGUELY FAMILIAR.

IT SOUNDS LIKE A PYRAMID SCHEME!

YOU--YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, DON'T YOU?

YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT BEAUTY PRODUCTS,

AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY

AND MEN AND EVERY--

YOU MISUNDERSTAND ME.

WELL, OF COURSE I MISUNDERSTAND YOU.

YOU USE SUCH BIG WORDS.

GIVE ME A BREAK, CLAUDIA. YOU'RE OVERREACTING!

I'M OVERREACTING? HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?

DON'T YOU WANT TO GO BACK DOWN TO YOUR LITTLE BAR

AND TAKE ANOTHER POLL?

I DON'T HAVE TO ON THIS ONE! IT IS OBVIOUS!

OH, YEAH? YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS OBVIOUS? I MARRIED AN ASS!

I'M BLOWIN' OUT THE CANDLES.

SO...

SO--SO WHAT?

SO THAT WAS A PRETTY BAD FIGHT.

IT WASN'T THAT BAD. WE'VE HAD WORSE.

OK.

I'M MEAN, SHE'S BEEN GONE A LONG TIME.

SHE HASN'T BEEN GONE THAT LONG.

THIS IS JUST WHAT SHE DOES.

YOU THINK SHE'S EVER COMING BACK?

OH, NO, YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT!

NO, NO, NO!

OH, NO, MY WIFE'S LEFT ME 'CAUSE OF A 5-MINUTE FIGHT.

YEAH! OH, GOD, I'VE DRIVEN HER AWAY.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN BY MYSELF!

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT? MOM LEFT?

NO, MOM DIDN'T LEAVE. WHERE IS SHE?

WELL, SHE LEFT, BUT SHE'S COMING BACK.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. SHUT UP, EDDIE.

AM I GONNA BE AN ORPHAN?

NO. ORPHANS ARE COOL.

THEY EAT PORRIDGE AND DANCE AND SING ON THE STREETS.

YOUR PARENTS HAVE TO DIE BEFORE YOU BECOME AN ORPHAN.

OH, RIGHT, OURS ARE JUST GETTING DIVORCED.

WE'RE NOT GETTIN' DIVORCED. SO THEN WHERE'S MOM?

WE HAD A LITTLE FIGHT.

OH, NO.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

JUST GO UPSTAIRS OR SOMETHING, ALL RIGHT?

HEY, SEAN.

OH, FAYE, HEY, LISTEN, UM, ABOUT THE OIL PARTY,

YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE TO CALL

THE OTHER LADIES AND TELL THEM THAT--

HEY, HI, SEAN.

OH, HI.

HI. HELLO. PLEASURE. WOW. THERE'S A LOT OF YOU.

WELL, OK, JUST COME ON IN.

MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME. UH, HAVE SOME VEGGIES.

UH, THANKS.

WHERE'S CLAUDIA?

SHE STEPPED OUT, BUT SHE'S COMING RIGHT BACK,

SO JUST MAKE YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE,

AND I'LL--I'LL LOOK FOR SOME FOOD.

HI. I'M EDDIE.

THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD STUFF HERE.

YOU TRY THE, UM, "LAVENDER INTERLUDE"?

WE DATED FOR 2 MONTHS.

OH, I KNEW IT. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

HOW ARE YOU DOING...

FAYE.

FAYE.

UH, HEY, HENRY,

CUT UP SOME OF THAT STRING CHEESE

AND PUT TOOTHPICKS IN IT, OK?

I REMEMBER WHEN MOM USED TO MAKE US FOOD.

THAT WAS, LIKE, 45 MINUTES AGO!

HEY, LILY, I NEED YOU TO GO TO THE STORE FOR ME!

COME ON! COME ON DOWN HERE NOW! COME ON!

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

IS MY LIFE NOT HELL ENOUGH FOR YOU?

IS THE AGONY THAT I GO THROUGH

EVERY SINGLE DAY NOT SUFFICIENT?!

HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT I LOOK LIKE?!

LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, OK?

YOUR MOM'S FRIENDS NEED SOME FOOD.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW THEM MY FACE?

MAYBE THEY'LL LOSE THEIR APPETITE.

OH, COME ON, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

I'M A GARGOYLE!

WELL, FINE, THEN IT'S DARK OUT!

SO CLING TO THE SHADOWS

AND GO GET THOSE WOMEN SOME NACHOS!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

MY PARENTS MIGHT ACTUALLY SPLIT UP.

YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY!

DIVORCE RULES!

YOU GET 2 BIRTHDAYS, 2 CHRISTMASES.

NO, NO, I WANT 2 PARENTS!

NAH, YOU'LL LOVE IT.

JUST--YA GOTTA KEEP ASKIN' HER,

"MOMMY, WAS IT MY FAULT?"

"DADDY, WAS IT MY FAULT?"

YOU'LL NEVER WEAR THE SAME PUMAS TWICE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR] COME IN.

HEY, JIMMY, BOBBY.

HELLO, LADIES.

LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED, A'IGHT?

CURLY, THE FEMALES ARE HERE.

YA GOTTA RALLY.

WHY? WHAT'S THE POINT?

STATISTICS SHOW CHILDREN OF DIVORCE

ARE TWICE AS LIKELY

TO HAVE FAILED MARRIAGES THEMSELVES.

THAT'S A GREAT STATISTIC.

NOW HOW MANY SQUARE FEET ARE THERE IN "WHO CARES"?!

YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

WILL DO.

IS HE OK?

HE'LL BE FINE.

NOW PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH AS HARD AS YOU CAN!

WHAT?

IT'S A FLIRTING THING!

UHH. JUST KIDDING!

OK, LADIES, HA HA!

HOW'S IT GOING? [SNIFFS]

DO I SMELL LILAC?

SEAN, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

WHERE EXACTLY IS CLAUDIA?

WELL, UH, SHE HAD TO RUN OUT, BUT SHE'LL BE, UH--

SHE LEFT HIM.

WHAT?! EDDIE!

THE SOONER YOU ACCEPT IT, THE SOONER YOU'LL GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

IT'S BEEN 45 MINUTES!

WHAT DID YOU DO?

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SOMETHING I DID?

NO, THERE'S ANOTHER MAN.

THERE'S NOT ANOTHER MAN!

LOOK, I'M JUST DEFENDING YOU.

MY DAD SAID SHE WAS DUMB AND COULDN'T BE A MODEL,

AND THEN HE TOLD ME I WAS UGLY

AND COULD ONLY GO OUT AT NIGHT.

OK, YOU'RE TAKING THAT WAY OUT OF CONTEXT, YOUNG LADY!

HE'S REALLY GOOD WITH THE BOYS.

MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

JUST LOOKING AT THIS MAP.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

NOWHERE, 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO READ IN HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME HOME?

I CAN'T.

I MADE THIS BIG DRAMATIC EXIT,

SO I GOTTA LET YOUR DAD SIT AROUND

AND STEW FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE HOURS

IF I WANT IT TO HAVE ANY IMPACT AT ALL.

SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO SIT OUT HERE AND FREEZE

TO TEACH DAD A LESSON?

I KNOW. USUALLY, I JUST GO TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS' PLACES.

SO? SO THEY'RE ALL IN THE LIVING ROOM FOR MY PARTY.

OHH.

HONEY, YOU'RE CARRYING IT AROUND WITH YOU?

I DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY TO STUMBLE ON THEM.

THEY MIGHT GOUGE THEIR EYES OUT.

LILY, IT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE YOU.

YOU'RE MAKING A REALLY STRANGE FACE.

I WAS TRYING TO LOOK COOL.

WHASSUP?!

THERE WE GO. PERFECT. NEXT VICTIM!

HELLO, PRETTY LADY.

COME ON, WHERE'S YOUR SMILE?

I'M NOT GONNA SMILE. I'M GOING FOR A LOOK.

PICTURE THE PRINCIPAL WITH NO PANTS ON.

THE PRINCIPAL'S A NUN.

OK, DON'T DO THAT.

TAKE MY PICTURE.

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

ALL RIGHT--YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT?

I JUST WANT TO SEE SOME TEETH. LET ME SEE SOME TEETH.

WHERE'D THEY GO?

OH, DID YOU GO TO THE CRAZY DENTIST?

DID THE CRAZY DENTIST STEAL ALL YOUR TEETH

AND SELL THEM TO THE GYPSIES?

IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?

STOP IT, NO!

COME ON, BIG SMILE. READY?

OOGA BOOGA! [HONK HONK]

NEXT VICTIM.

OH, MY GOD.

"DEREK PURCELL"?

DO YOU KNOW HIM?

HE'S THE GUY.

THE JET-SET FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER WHO DISCOVERED ME.

HE'S YOUR YEARBOOK PHOTOGRAPHER?!

YEAH.

UHH...HEY! HA HA HA HA!

HE ALSO DOES A CALENDAR OF CATS WEARING DOLL CLOTHES.

SORRY.

DO ME A FAVOR, ALL RIGHT?

GO HOME, GET ME A BLANKET AND A TOOTHBRUSH

AND A CHANGE OF CLOTHES.

YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE CAR.

OH, PEOPLE DO IT ALL THE TIME.

HEY, JIMMY.

MOM, LISTEN, I'VE BEEN THINKING,

AND I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M NOT BLIND, MOM!

STOP TRYING TO SHIELD ME FROM THE TRUTH!

OK, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

JIMMY!

WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

WHY'D YOU LEAVE?

THINGS WERE JUST STARTING TO GET INTERESTING.

MY LIFE IS OVER.

YOU MISSED MY EMINEM IMPRESSION!

* I NEVER MAKE A MOVE WITHOUT DR. DRE *

OK, BUCKLE UP. WE'RE GOING HOME.

[ENGINE STARTS]

LOOK, I WAS LOOKING OUT FOR CLAUDIA.

THERE'S SOME BAD PEOPLE OUT THERE.

OH, SO YOU WERE PROTECTING HER, THEN.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU LET HER GO OUTSIDE.

OH, COME ON. YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

THIS GUY WAS SCAMMIN' ON HER.

HE WAS PUTTIN' THE MOVES ON HER.

BECAUSE SHE'S NOT ANOREXIC

WITH SILICONE BREASTS AND COLLAGEN LIPS,

SHE CAN'T BE A MODEL?

THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.

DO YOU REALIZE HOW DAMAGING THAT ATTITUDE IS

TO GIRLS GROWING UP THESE DAYS?

I DON'T RUN A FASHION MAGAZINE!

NO, YOU QUIT A GOOD CITY JOB

TO BUY A RUN-DOWN BAR AND RUN IT

WITH YOUR WEIRDO BROTHER!

WHY AM I BEING DRAGGED INTO IT, FAYE?

HE'S THE ONE WHO DROVE HER OUT OF HERE.

YEAH, THANKS, ED.

MOM'S BACK!

THANK GOD, CLAUDIA, YOU'RE BACK--

HEY, STAY AWAY FROM HER, YOU! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

COME GET YOUR BAGS. YOU CAN STAY AT MY PLACE.

COME ON!

IT'S ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. I'M NOT LEAVING.

SWEETIE, YOU NEED TO BREAK THE CYCLE.

IT'S NOT A CYCLE. SEAN WAS RIGHT.

HA!

HOME WRECKERS!

BABY, THEY WERE PICKING ON ME.

HEY, JIMMY. MIND IF I HANG OUT HERE?

UH, YEAH, SURE, I GUESS.

ARE YOU OK?

I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, MY PARENTS ARE REALLY FREAKING ME OUT,

AND THEIR MARRIAGE COULD FALL APART AT ANY MOMENT.

THAT'S REALLY ROUGH.

I JUST, YOU KNOW, CAN'T HELP BUT THINKING

IS IT SOMETHING I DID OR I SHOULD HAVE DONE?

YOU KNOW, I JUST FEEL SO LOST.

UH...YOU KNOW, LIFE CAN JUST FEEL SO DAMN MEANINGLESS.

ALL RIGHT, JIMMY.

I TAUGHT HIM THAT.

OW! OW! OW! OW!

WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING?

MY YEARBOOK PICTURE.

LET ME SEE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BURNING IT.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

YOU KNOW HOW BAD IT IS.

OTHERWISE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BURNING IT.

YEAH, BUT--

OK, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

PLAY THE GAME? I'LL DO THAT.

OH, IT'S NOT THAT BAD. IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD.

NO, STOP, STOP.

MOM AND DAD ALREADY DID THAT.

HEY, DID YOU EVER SEE YOUR MOTHER'S YEARBOOK PHOTO?

NO.

YOU WANT TO?

SURE.

WELL, YOU CAN'T BECAUSE SHE TOOK A MARKER,

AND SHE BLACKED OUT HER PICTURE IN EVERY COPY OF THE YEARBOOK.

REALLY? YEAH.

LEGEND HAS IT SHE HAD SOMETHING

HANGING OUT OF HER NOSE.

WOW.

IT'S THE SAME THEN AS IT IS NOW.

IT'S AN UGLY PICTURE...

OF A PRETTY GIRL.

THANKS.

OH, NO PROBLEM.

SHOULD I BURN THE REST?

YEAH, I WOULD.

TAKE IT BACK OFF.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WANT IT TO BE RIGHT. WHERE'S MY WIND?

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS GREAT. THAT WAS GOOD.

IS THAT ALL?

I ONLY HAD ONE PICTURE LEFT.