Original subtitles

Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT IS?

I THINK IT MIGHT BE A BIRD.

NOT THE BIRD. THE THING UNCLE EDDIE JUST GOT OUT OF.

WHY THE HELL WOULD I ASK YOU WHAT A BIRD IS?

BOYS.

UNCLE EDDIE, WHAT'S THAT THING OUT THERE?

NEXT TO THE BIRD.

THAT THING OUT THERE, YOUNG MAN,

HAPPENS TO BE MY NEW ELECTRIC CAR.

WELL, THAT LOOKS MORE LIKE A GOLF CART.

IT'S NOT A GOLF CART. IT'S A HIGH-PERFORMANCE,

NO-EMISSIONS ELECTRIC VEHICLE.

YEAH, AND IT'S ALSO SUPREMELY DORKY.

HEY, LISTEN, JIMMY, IF SAVING OUR PRECIOUS ENVIRONMENT IS DORKY,

THEN I GUESS I'M A DORK.

BUT I'M NOT A DORK.

SO WHERE'S YOUR TRUCK?

I TRADED IT IN FOR THAT BEAUTY OUT THERE.

YOU TRADED IN YOUR HUGE GOLD SUV FOR A BUMPER CAR?

YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF IGNORANT MACHO ATTITUDE

THAT HAS THIS COUNTRY ENSLAVED TO FOREIGN OIL.

GO AHEAD. ALL RIGHT, LAUGH AT THE CRAZY ENVIRONMENTALIST.

I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY-LOOKING.

HA HA! HA HA!

THE POLAR ICE CAPS ARE MELTING.

JIMMY, WHERE'S THAT BLUE--AAH!

Sean: OW! LOOK OUT THERE.

WHAT THE HELL'S THIS THING DOING HERE?

HEY, GO EASY ON 'EM, SEAN.

I'M AS MUCH TO BLAME AS ANYBODY.

AS MUCH? WHAT? IT'S PLUGGED INTO YOUR ELECTRIC CAR.

ELECTRIC CAR? YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.

NO, I DON'T KID WHERE MOTHER EARTH IS CONCERNED.

OK, SINCE WHEN, EDDIE, DID YOU--

OH, OK, NOW I-- OH, I GET IT.

YEAH, THAT'S YOUR ANGLE.

THE HIPPIE CHICK DOWN AT THE BAR.

WHAT'S HER NAME? TAMARA?

2 YEARS LIVING AT THE TOP OF A TREE. HOW DID YOU DO IT?

HOW COULD I NOT DO IT,

KNOWING THAT THE MINUTE I CAME DOWN

THE CHAINSAWS WOULD START?

THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE CUTTING OFF MY OWN LEGS.

THE FEELING YOU GET WHEN YOU'RE AT THE TOP OF A GIANT REDWOOD?

YOU CAN'T GET THAT HIGH FROM ANY DRUG.

OHH...

"USUALLY, I DON'T WEAR UNDERWEAR, BABY,

BUT WHEN I DO, IT'S MADE OF HEMP."

HEH. OUCH.

COME ON, MOM. HOW AM I GONNA GET ENOUGH MONEY FOR THAT?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT THE ONE WHO WENT OUT

AND HAD A TATTOO THAT NEEDS TO BE REMOVED.

WHAT TATTOO?

THERE'S NO TATTOO, HENRY.

IT'S ON HER BACK.

MOM! COOL!

LET ME SEE! NO, GET AWAY!

OH, COOL, A BROWN ELF.

IT IS A GOLDEN SPRITE, OK?!

LOOK, HIS NAME IS DEAN, JUST LIKE YOUR OLD BOYFRIEND.

IT'S A SHE! SHUT UP!

HENRY--HEY, STOP LIFTING YOUR SISTER'S SHIRT.

MOM, IT WAS A STUPID MISTAKE. I ADMIT THAT.

YES, IT WAS.

AND I'M ADMITTING IT. DON'T I GET POINTS FOR THAT?

FINE, YOU GET POINTS, BUT YOU DON'T GET ANY MONEY

'CAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.

OH, BUT WE ALL OF A SUDDEN HAVE MONEY FOR YOU TO ENROLL IN COLLEGE?

AS FRIVOLOUS AS THAT SEEMS, YES.

[SPITS]

UGH. WHO UNPLUGGED THE COFFEE MAKER?

THAT WAS ME.

WELL, THE COFFEE'S ICE COLD.

TEPID, I'D ACCEPT. ICE COLD? BE HONEST.

SEE, EDDIE'S TRYING TO CONSERVE ENERGY

BY PLUGGING HIS ELECTRIC CAR INTO OUR OUTLET.

[LAUGHS] ELECTRIC CAR?

WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO SCORE WITH THE HIPPIE CHICKS?

THANK YOU.

ENOUGH!

OH, COME ON, ED.

ED, THE ONLY WAY YOU'D DRIVE SOMETHING SO IRREDEEMABLY LAUGHABLE

IS IF YOU'RE TRYING TO GET SOME.

IF YOU THINK I NEED A CAR TO GET SOME,

THEN YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN.

NOW, I'M GONNA GO OUT THERE,

I'M GONNA GET IN MY FAR-FROM-LAUGHABLE ELECTRIC CAR,

AND I'M GONNA ENJOY THIS PLANET WHILE IT'S STILL HERE.

PFFT! HA HA HA! WHO IS HE KIDDING?

HE KNOWS WE'RE RIGHT.

[BANGING]

IT'S A GREAT INVESTMENT.

THEY DO DIRECT E-MAIL INTERNET MARKETING.

Sean: NO!

COME ON, SEAN. WHO DOESN'T LOVE

GETTING E-MAILS OFFERING DISCOUNT PRESCRIPTION DRUGS?

EVERYBODY HATES THAT STUFF.

THEY LOOK LIKE REGULAR E-MAILS, RIGHT?

THEY'RE TITLED LIKE, "WHY DON'T YOU CALL?"

"THIS CAME FROM FRANK,"

AND THEN YOU OPEN IT UP, IT'S A WONDERFUL SURPRISE.

NO, ED!

COME ON, SEAN! WHEN HAVE I STEERED YOU WRONG?

REPEATEDLY!

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GET THE CARS OFF THE TRAIN

AND ONTO THE BOAT.

YOU WOULDN'T BE INVESTING, PER SE.

YOU'D BE POSING AS AN INVESTOR.

AND IF THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT GOES LOOKING FOR THE ADDRESS,

GUESS WHAT? IT'S AN EMPTY LOT.

THAT'S JUST PROVES IT. YOU'RE DUE!

FORGET IT!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

RED BOOT.

HEY, DAD, CAN I GET A TATTOO?

NO.

LILY HAS ONE!

ACTUALLY, HENRY, SHE HAS 3, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

SHE REGRETS THEM, SHE HATES THEM,

AND SHE WANTS TO GET THEM REMOVED.

CAN I GET ONE?

NO! LILY HAS 3!

GOOD-BYE!

[DIAL TONE]

OH, WHAT'S THAT, DAD?

OH, I CAN GET A TATTOO AFTER ALL?

AW, THANKS. I LOVE YOU, TOO.

I CAN HEAR THE DIAL TONE, HENRY.

HEY, DAD, I GOTTA GO.

HEY, BRAD.

HELLO, MRS. FINNERTY.

YOU WANT TO HEAR THE CLASSES I'M GONNA TAKE AT WADSWORTH?

WHATEVER.

OK, WE HAVE ECONOMICS 101,

HOTEL/RESTAURANT MANAGEMENT 116--

THOSE ARE THE PRACTICAL ONES.

AND THEN TO BROADEN MY HORIZONS, A LITTLE ART HISTORY.

SOUNDS REALLY TERRIFIC.

BRAD, IS SOMETHING WRONG?

NO. EVERYTHING'S FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC.

BRAD, TAKE THIS UPSTAIRS. I'LL BE UP IN A SECOND.

WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

WHY?

I WANTED TO GET MY TATTOO REMOVED,

BUT NO, NO, NO, YOU WOULDN'T PAY FOR IT. NOW--

NOW, WHAT?

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY

SOME GUYS HAVE A WEIRD THING ABOUT SEEING

EX-BOYFRIEND'S NAMES PRINTED ON THEIR GIRLFRIENDS.

OH, MY GOD!

[GASPING] THAT THING-- THAT THING--

IT'S--IT'S JUST A TATTOO.

IT--IT SAYS "DEAN" ON IT.

Y-YOU CAN READ IN A MIRROR. WOW! THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.

NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN READ IN A MIRROR.

LILY, THERE IT IS. HIS NAME!

AND IT GOES RIGHT DOWN TO YOUR--GOD!

OH, HONEY--

TUCK IT IN! TUCK IT IN!

BRAD-- THERE!

BRAD--

THERE!

OHH, GOD!

[GROANS]

HOW IS IT BRAD NEVER SAW THE TATTOO BEFORE?

WELL, WHENEVER WE...

I WAS ALWAYS CAREFUL TO LIE--

OK. I--I REALLY DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS.

GOOD. GOOD. BECAUSE--

YEAH. I KNOW.

RIGHT. SO...

YOU SEE HOW I NEED THE TATTOO REMOVED?

[LAUGHS] OK, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU WANT ME TO SPEND MY MONEY SO THAT YOU AND BRAD

CAN CONTINUE TO DO SOMETHING I'D REALLY PREFER YOU NOT BE DOING.

YES.

NO.

[SIGHS] MOM! UGH!

MOM, YOU ARE LITERALLY KILLING ME HERE!

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

TURNS OUT THE BROWN ELF

IS A NEW FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL.

OHH!

OK, IT IS A GOLDEN SPRITE, NOT A BROWN ELF,

ON A LILY, WHICH YOU NAMED ME! SO...

SO?

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE'S ALL MAD I WON'T PAY TO GET THE TATTOO REMOVED.

THAT'S A GOOD MOVE, CLAUDIA,

'CAUSE I HAVE AN INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY THAT YOU CAN'T PASS UP.

SEAN?

BABY, I'M AHEAD OF YOU. I'VE BEEN TELLING HIM "NO" ALL DAY.

GOOD.

OK, NOW THAT SHE'S GONE--

NO! NO, NO, NO, ED. WE'RE NOT THROWING AWAY

ONE MORE DIME ON ANY OF YOUR STUPID SCHEMES.

IT'S NOT A SCHEME.

WELL, IF IT'S NOT A SCHEME, WHAT IS IT?

IT'S SOMETHING I REALLY NEED YOU TO DO FOR ME.

WHY? WHY DO I NEED TO DO THIS?

BECAUSE I NEED THE MONEY, ALL RIGHT? I NEED THE MONEY.

WHY? I NEED MONEY!

I'M BROKE! I NEED THE MONEY

BECAUSE I'M BROKE, OK? I'M BROKE!

WHAT?

I'M--I'M SERIOUS. I CAN'T PAY MY RENT.

WHOA. WAIT, WAIT. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED. IT HAPPENED, ALL RIGHT?

I--I GOT A LOT OF OVERHEAD.

OVERHEAD?! I GOT 3 KIDS AND A MORTGAGE TO PAY!

ALL RIGHT, FINE. YOU WIN THE BIG OVERHEAD CONTEST.

I'VE HAD--I'VE HAD SOME BAD LUCK.

YOU KNOW, SOME THINGS DIDN'T PAN OUT,

AND--AND IT'S CAUGHT UP WITH ME.

I'M SORRY, MR. FINNERTY. YOUR MASTERCARD WAS REFUSED.

OH, NO PROBLEM. IT'S NOT A PROBLEM.

THIS ISN'T A WARHOL!

OH, YES, IT IS.

WARHOL NEVER PAINTED A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS!

WELL, WHY DID HE SIGN IT?

I'M SORRY, MR. FINNERTY. YOUR DISCOVER CARD WAS REFUSED,

AS WAS YOUR DINER'S CLUB.

NOT A PROBLEM.

WHOA! HO HO HO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? REPO-ING MY CAR?

WHAT IS THIS? THIS MAKE YOU A BIG MAN, ROLLING UP THE WINDOW?

YOU COME OUT OF THAT CAR!

COME OUT OF THAT CAR! YOU REALLY BIG MAN!

YOU GONNA REPO MY CAR, HUH?

COME ON OUTTA THERE, YOU--YOU--

WOW. YOU ARE A BIG MAN.

YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE A BUTTON ON THE SIDE

THAT MAKES THE SEAT GO BACK.

I HAVE A HEART CONDITION.

I'M SORRY, MR. HAGEN,

AND I'M SORRY, MR. FONTANE.

DON'T BE.

WHY DON'T YOU WAIT FOR ME OUT IN THE PARKING LOT?

YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE OFF AS SOON AS I TURN AROUND, AREN'T YOU?

NAH. [CHUCKLES]

[EDDIE MUMBLING]

LET'S NOT DRAG THIS OUT.

OH, MY GOD.

FINALLY! I KNOW.

FINALLY WHAT?

JUSTICE! HUH? FOR THE WORKING MAN.

EVER SINCE WE WERE KIDS,

I WAS ALWAYS BUSTING MY ASS AND YOU WERE JUST SKATING BY.

HUH? LAUGHING AT ME.

I WAS PUTTING 15 HOURS A DAY IN AT THE SUBWAY.

HA HA HA! AND YOU, HUH?

YOU GET UP AT NOON, YOU NEVER FILE TAXES, AND SOMEHOW

YOU'RE THE ONE WITH COURTSIDE SEATS TO THE KNICKS! HOW, EDDIE?!

SO YES OR NO?

YOU KNOW WHAT? I WANT TO SAVOR THIS MOMENT

BECAUSE ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

HOW IS IT, MR. FREE AND EASY, HERE HE IS, GROVELING,

BEGGING ME, THE WORKING IDIOT, FOR MONEY?

HOW'S IT FEEL, ED?

FEELS LIKE CRAP, SEAN.

DOES IT?

YEAH. IT DOES. IT FEELS LIKE CRAP THINKING YOU COULD TURN

TO YOUR BROTHER IN YOUR MOMENT OF NEED AND YOU CAN'T.

YOU KNOW WHAT? KEEP YOUR MONEY, ALL RIGHT?

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO OWE YOU ANYTHING.

ED, COME ON, MAN.

NO, NO. COME ON. WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. I'M GONNA BE OK.

I'LL WRITE YOU A CHECK! COME ON! ED!

DAMN IT, ED! GOD!

EDDIE!

EDDIE, WAIT! WAIT! COME ON! COME ON, EDDIE! COME ON!

HEY, COME ON, THIS IS STUPID. I'VE GOT A CHECK FOR YOU.

PLEASE, WILL YOU STOP?

I SAID SOME THINGS I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID, ALL RIGHT?

I GOT A CHECK FOR YOU, ALL RIGHT, PLEASE?

WILL YOU TAKE IT? COME ON, JUST STOP THE CAR.

COME ON, JUST...

LET GO!

NO. NOT UNTIL YOU TAKE THIS CHECK.

ALL RIGHT! GIVE ME THE CHECK

WHILE I STILL HAVE SOME DIGNITY.

[ENGINE WHINES]

HEY!

I'M--I'M WATCHING TV.

THERE'S NOTHIN' ON.

HEY, YOU JUST UNPLUGGED IT.

READ A BOOK, MAN. YOU'LL THANK ME SOMEDAY.

NEW SHOES?

YEAH.

THEY'RE NICE.

THANKS.

SO YOU DID A LITTLE SHOE SHOPPING, HUH?

YEAH, A LITTLE BIT.

HEY, HEY, YOU NEEDED SHOES.

YEAH. NO, HEY, IT'S, YOU KNOW,

YOU GOTTA BE GOOD TO YOURSELF,

'CAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS GONNA DO IT.

ED, I JUST LENT YOU A TON OF MONEY YESTERDAY

TO PAY YOUR RENT, NOT TO BUY NEW SHOES.

NO, NO, NO. THE MONEY YOU LOANED ME I USED TO PAY MY RENT.

I HAD MY OWN MONEY LEFT OVER TO BUY THE SHOES.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE BUYING SHOES UNTIL YOU PAY ME BACK.

OK. I DIDN'T KNOW THE LOAN CAME WITH ALL THIS FINE PRINT.

UGH! OH! UGH!

IDIOTS!

[DOOR SLAMS]

WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED, BABE?

IDIOTS HAPPENED! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

STUPID IDIOTS.

OK, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

I GO ALL THE WAY TO WADSWORTH.

I STAND THERE IN THE REGISTRATION LINE FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF

'CAUSE THE GENIUS IN FRONT OF ME IS ALL,

[HIGH VOICE] "SHOULD I TAKE DUTCH OR GERMAN?"

THEN I FINALLY GET TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE

AND THEN THE GUY BEHIND THE COUNTER SAYS

I CAN'T EVEN REGISTER BECAUSE MY NAME ISN'T IN THE COMPUTER,

AT WHICH POINT I NICELY OFFERED TO TYPE IT INTO THE COMPUTER FOR HIM

WITH HIS FACE.

YOU WERE WHERE?

WADSWORTH.

WADSWORTH COLLEGE OF STATEN ISLAND.

TO REGISTER FOR CLASSES?

OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT THIS.

I MEAN, I REMEMBER YOU SAID SOMETHING VAGUE.

BABE, ARE YOU GONNA TURN THAT LIGHT OFF?

YEAH.

CAN YOU PICTURE ME IN COLLEGE?

YEAH.

YEAH, I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.

REALLY?

ABSOLUTELY.

YOU, THE GUILELESS YOUNG COED,

ME, THE STERN OLD PROFESSOR.

YOU'VE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY GIRL, MISS FINNERTY.

YOU'RE LATE WITH YOUR THESIS. HMM?

I'VE GOT TO ADMIT. I'M A LITTLE BIT SCARED.

OF COURSE, YOU ARE, BUT FEAR NOT.

THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY FOR AN OPEN-MINDED YOUNG LADY LIKE YOURSELF

TO EARN HER SHEEPSKIN. HA HA HA HA.

YOU'RE CREEPY.

OF COURSE, I AM, BUT I'M TENURED.

THEY CAN'T FIRE ME.

I SHALL TAKE YOU IN THE STACKS!

I SHALL HAVE YOU!

I SHALL NOT BE DENIED!

[LAUGHING]

SO YOU WEREN'T EVEN LISTENING TO ME.

NO, BABY, IT'S JUST YOU-- YOU--YOU SAY A LOT.

YES.

SEE? I KNEW IT! I KNEW I SENT IT IN.

HERE'S THE COPY. THE FORM, THE CHECK.

THAT'S GOOD. YOU FOUND IT.

MM-HMM. EXCUSE ME.

EDDIE, I NEED YOU TO PAY ME BACK THAT MONEY RIGHT NOW!

YOU JUST LENT IT TO ME.

I KNOW, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW CLAUDIA NEEDED IT

TO REGISTER FOR COLLEGE.

I'M A LITTLE LIGHT, SEAN.

I MEAN, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EXPENSIVE TICKETS TO A BROADWAY SHOW ARE?

YOU BOUGHT TICKETS TO A BROADWAY SHOW?

WHAT DO YOU THINK I NEEDED THE NEW SHOES FOR?

Claudia: SEAN...

DID YOU LOAN HIM MONEY?

OH, IT'S NONE OF HER BUSINESS, SEAN.

OH, MY GOD! DID MY TUITION CHECK BOUNCE?

MAYBE?

THAT MONEY IS OUR MONEY.

YOU CAN'T JUST USE IT WITHOUT TELLING ME.

YOU DID.

I TOLD YOU, PROFESSOR HORNDOG.

WELL, NOT ALL THAT CLEARLY.

WELL, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME AT ALL YOU WERE GIVING MONEY TO EDDIE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHO LOANED WHAT?

YOUR DAD LOANED MONEY TO EDDIE.

PLEASE STOP USING THE WORD LOAN AS A VERB.

HE ME MONEY.

WHAT?

HE'S RIGHT, TECHNICALLY.

I DON'T CARE.

YOU LOANED EDDIE MONEY?

DO WE STILL HAVE ENOUGH FOR MY TATTOO REMOVAL?

WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR THAT.

WHY NOT? IF YOU'RE JUST GIVING IT AWAY TO UNCLE EDDIE.

I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT, EITHER.

I DIDN'T JUST GIVE IT AWAY TO UNCLE EDDIE!

I LENT IT TO HIM! HE'S MY BROTHER!

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LOWEST PRIORITY IN THIS HOUSE?!

[ALL STOP YELLING]

KNOCK KNOCK.

IS THIS A BAD TIME?

MY PARENTS WANT ME TO KEEP THIS STUPID TATTOO FOREVER!

YOU GUYS LIKE THAT THING?

WE THINK IT GIVES HER A TOUCH OF CLASS.

COME ON, BRAD. COME HAVE A SNACK WITH THE TATTOOED FREAK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MY PARENTS.

THEY ONLY THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES.

LILY, IT'S ALL GOOD. I'M--I'M GONNA PAY FOR IT.

WHA--

OH, MY GOD!

BRAD, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS MONEY?

WELL, I'VE BEEN SAVING UP FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT,

BUT, YOU KNOW, NOW THAT--

WOW! THANK YOU!

WHAT WERE YOU GONNA GET ME FOR CHRISTMAS?

AN iPOD.

WOW! THOSE ARE REALLY COOL.

YEP, BUT, YOU KNOW, SOME THINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT, SO...

YES, THEY ARE.

BUT, I MEAN, NOW THAT YOU ABOUT THE WHOLE TATTOO THING,

IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL, RIGHT?

I MEAN, THERE'S WORSE THINGS I COULD'VE DONE.

YOU WANT THE iPOD.

REALLY BAD.

LILY, THE TATTOO SICKENS ME.

I KNOW, BUT THEY HOLD, LIKE, 3 JILLION SONGS!

LILY, COME ON. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL

KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND'S NAME

PERMANENTLY WRITTEN ON AN ELF ON YOUR BACK?

OK, THE REASON I GOT THE SPRITE...

WAS, YES, I CARED ABOUT DEAN A LOT,

BUT I CARED ABOUT HIM THAT MUCH

AND THEN I DUMPED HIM FOR YOU.

THAT'S TRUE, I GUESS.

YES, IT IS.

SO THE TATTOO MAY SAY DEAN,

BUT IT'S REALLY A MONUMENT TO YOU.

OK, BUT YOU HAVE TO ACT SURPRISED ON CHRISTMAS.

WELL, I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS?

LILY, WHAT'S IN THIS FOR ME?

YOU GET TO KEEP SEEING THE TATTOO.

I WASN'T SPENDING OUR MONEY. I WAS LENDING OUR MONEY, OK?

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!

YES, BUT YOU LENT THE MONEY TO EDDIE.

YOU LENT MONEY TO UNCLE EDDIE?

AND YOU TOLD ME WE DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR MY BRACES.

THE DENTIST SAYS YOU DON'T NEED BRACES.

I STILL WANT 'EM.

WHY AM I EVEN STUDYING?

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU GUYS CAN SEND ME TO COLLEGE.

YES, JIMMY, WE WILL, OK?

YEAH, WELL, MAYBE WADSWORTH OR SOMETHING, NOT A REAL COLLEGE.

I GO TO WADSWORTH.

OH. WADSWORTH IS GREAT.

I WAS JUST GETTING DEFENSIVE IN CASE THEY REJECT ME.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN NEED BOTTOM BRACES.

I JUST WANT THESE 2 TEETH TO STICK STRAIGHT OUT!

OK, GUYS, LISTEN.

NO ONE'S GOING TO GO HUNGRY

BECAUSE I LENT UNCLE EDDIE A FEW BUCKS.

[ALL YELLING]

Eddie: ENOUGH.

ENOUGH!

[ALL STOP YELLING]

ENOUGH.

I'M GOING TO GO AND GET YOUR MONEY BACK NOW.

HOW?

FIGURING IT OUT.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M A BUM.

WE DIDN'T CALL YOU A BUM.

WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE BECAUSE I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU GUYS.

I'M GONNA MAKE THAT-- I'M GONNA ME IT ALL RIGHT NOW.

NO, EDDIE, WAIT.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

EDDIE--

NO. JUST LET ME DO THIS, OK?

I WILL. JUST YOUR CAR'S STILL PLUGGED IN.

THANKS.

YEAH.

WOW.

THAT---THAT WAS UNCHARACTERISTIC.

SO I CAN GET BRACES?

NO, BUT YOUR MOM CAN TAKE HER CLASSES.

WE CAN AFFORD IT, RIGHT?

OF COURSE, WE CAN.

PLUS WE SHOULD LOOK AT IT LIKE AN INVESTMENT.

RIGHT? IF YOU GET A DEGREE, YOU'LL BE EARNING MORE.

YEAH, AND IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE TAKING SOME KIND OF

RIDICULOUS, IMPRACTICAL CLASS LIKE ART HISTORY.

NO WAY.

CLAUDIA?

I'M TAKING ECON, TOO, OK?

I CAN BE A WELL-ROUNDED STUDENT, RIGHT?

OF COURSE, YOU CAN, MISS FINNERTY.

YOU'RE THE MOST WELL-ROUNDED STUDENT

THIS ACADEMIC'S EVER SEEN.

YES.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M DROPPING YOUR CLASS.

OH, A SERIOUS MISTAKE, YOUNG LADY!

YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO AN "A."

ONE NIGHT OF INTENSE CRAMMING SHOULD DO IT!

STOP!

YES!

THANKS A LOT, ED.

YEAH, GLAD TO DO IT.

YOU SURE YOU CAN AFFORD THIS?

ABSOLUTELY. I GOT A SMALLER PLACE.

YOU GAVE UP YOUR APARTMENT?

IT'S TIME TO SIMPLIFY MY LIFE ANYWAY, YOU KNOW?

I'M IN A NEW PLACE. IT'S FUNKY, IT'S GOT CHARACTER.

Man: EDDIE!

YEE KWAN IS OUT OF THE SHOWER!

YOUR TURN!

IF YEE KWAN USED UP ALL THE HOT WATER AGAIN,

I'M GONNA KICK HIS ASS!

ALL RIGHT.

IF YOU NEED TO REACH ME, CALL MY CELL PHONE.

IF YOU CALL THE RESTAURANT, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ORDER SOMETHING.

I GOTTA SAY, ED, I'M PROUD OF YOU.

YOU KNOW, THIS EXPERIENCE CAN BE

A REAL CHARACTER BUILDER.

HEY, YOU NEVER KNOW.

YEAH, I GOT A PLASMA SCREEN TV FOR A MR. FONTANE.

THAT'S ME. RIGHT UPSTAIRS TO THE LEFT.

WATCH THE EXTENSION CORD.

WHAT?