Original subtitles

HEY, DAD.

HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', MR. FINNERTY?

JUST TAKING DOWN THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS.

YOU KNOW CHRISTMAS IS OVER WHEN THE DECORATIONS COME DOWN.

IT'S KIND OF SAD.

YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME SAD? IT'S MARCH.

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS OFF TO?

WE'RE GOING TO GO TO THE MALL

AND GET LILY A NEW PAIR OF SANDALS.

THEN WE'RE TAKING A MAT-BASED PILATES CLASS.

LILY, COME ON. WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TO THE KID?

HE WANTS TO GO. HE LIKES IT.

OK.

OH, GOD. HEY!

UH...

BRAD!

LILY! GIVE ME--

OH, O'KEEFE, CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND WITH THIS?

WHY, YOU TAKING IT DOWN ALREADY?

IT'S NOT EVEN MEMORIAL DAY.

YOU KNOW, FORGET IT, OK? BRAD! LILY!

THEY'RE GONE, FINNERTY.

PROBABLY OFF DOING A LITTLE NAKED SKIP TO MY LOU.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU KNOW HOW TEENAGERS ARE.

ONCE THEY FIND OUT THAT TAB "A" GOES INTO SLOT "B",

THAT'S ALL THEY WANNA DO.

NAH, NAH. THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING TO THE MALL.

YEAH, RIGHT, THE MALL.

WHEN I WAS BRAD'S AGE,

I COULD GO TO THE MALL 5 TIMES A DAY.

THEY'RE HAVING SEX?

OH, I'M SORRY. DIDN'T YOU KNOW?

YEAH. OH...YEAH, MAN. OF COURSE, I KNEW.

I'VE KNOWN FOR, YOU KNOW, A GOOD LONG TIME. YEAH.

UH-HUH. THEY'RE HAVING SEX.

OH. GOOD.

DO YOU WANT A HAND WITH THAT SANTA CLAUS?

NO, NO. HEY, IT'S GOOD. I'M FINE.

THANKS.

CLAUDIA, BABY.

THERE'S SOMETHING WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT.

YOU KILLED SANTA?

NO.

YES. NO. BUT THAT'S NOT IT.

IT'S ABOUT LILY.

WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? IS SHE OK?

SHE'S FINE. SHE'S FINE. IT'S JUST...

SHE'S NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE.

WHOA.

YEAH. YES.

HER AND BRAD.

WOW.

WELL, WE KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME SOONER OR LATER.

I KNOW, BABY. BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE SO SOON.

I MEAN, WE JUST TURNED OUR BACKS,

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, BAM! YOU KNOW?

I GUESS WE JUST HAVE TO WORK ON ACCEPTING THE FACT

THAT OUR DAUGHTER'S BECOMING A WOMAN.

COME ON, WE'RE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A WOMAN.

OH, GOD. I CAN'T-- LILY, SHE'S MY--

I MEAN THIS IS--THIS IS GONNA BE OK, RIGHT?

LISTEN, WE CAN'T FREEZE TIME, YOU KNOW?

AND LILY'S A REALLY SMART GIRL. AT LEAST SHE'S BEING SAFE.

GOOD POINT. RIGHT, SHE'S SAFE. GOOD.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'S BEING SAFE?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M JUST ASSUMING SHE'S PROBABLY BEING SAFE.

ISN'T THAT WHAT I-- WHAT DID I SAY? DIDN'T I SAY--

I MEANT TO SAY SHE'S PROBABLY. PROBABLY.

OH, MY GOD! YOU! YOU KNEW!

WHAT? YOU KNEW!

YES, YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING DUMB THIS WHOLE TIME.

YOU KNEW SHE HAD SEX.

I--NO! I WAS...

OK, I KNEW.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?

NOT LONG.

HOW LONG? REALLY, JUST...

SINCE THE NIGHT IT HAPPENED.

WHICH WAS WHEN?

IT WAS THE NIGHT OF HER BIRTHDAY.

OH, GOD!

OH, MY GOD. I BOUGHT HER SKATES.

SO WHAT? IF YOU'D KNOWN,

YOU WOULD'VE BOUGHT HER THE KAMA SUTRA?

OK. OK. JOKES LIKE THAT ARE ONLY FUNNY

IF YOU HAVEN'T JUST FOUND OUT!

HEY, HOW'S IT GOIN'?

ED, WE'RE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE

OF SOMETHING HERE RIGHT NOW, OK?

IT'S OK, I'LL CATCH UP.

SO, THIS IS HOW I HAVE TO FIND OUT

ABOUT MY OWN DAUGHTER?

YOU, YOU KNEW? O'KEEFE, HE KNEW?

ME, THE FATHER, NEVER KNEW?

I KNEW. I KNEW.

WHAT?

BRAD AND LILY HAVING--

WHOA! WHOA! YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU KNEW?

WELL, HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW?

WHAT, SO EVERYBODY KNEW BUT ME?

HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED HOW COMFORTABLE

BRAD'S GOTTEN AROUND THE HOUSE LATELY?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO? OH, YEAH, HE'S RIGHT HERE.

THANKS. HELLO?

HEY, XANDER, WHAT'S UP, MAN?

NOTHIN' MUCH. HEY, HOLD ON, I GOT A BEEP.

HELLO? J-DOG, WHAT'S UP? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WANT SOME?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'LL FREEZE UP.

GET OUT OF HERE!

GOD, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID?

NOT STUPID. WILLFULLY IGNORANT.

NO, NO, NO. I WAS NOT WILLFULLY IGNORANT.

I WAS WILLFULLY NOT TOLD BY MY WIFE.

OH, COME ON. HOW COULD I HAVE TOLD YOU?

YOU WOULD HAVE LOST YOUR MIND.

YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED BRAD AND WOUND UP IN PRISON.

NO, I WOULD NOT HAVE LOST MY MIND!

YOU ARE A HOT HEAD, MY FRIEND.

NO! NO, I'M NOT!

I'M NOT, I TAKE THINGS IN STRIDE.

[LAUGHS] YOU HAVE NEVER TAKEN ANYTHING IN STRIDE.

YOU FLY OFF THE HANDLE

AT THE SLIGHTEST LITTLE THING.

OH, REALLY? YEAH? YEAH, LIKE WHEN?

UH, LIKE SATURDAY, AT THE MOVIES.

OH, OVER HERE.

SORRY, THAT'S TAKEN.

WHAT ABOUT THOSE ONES RIGHT THERE?

NOPE. NOPE. THOSE ARE TAKEN, TOO.

SEE THE SWEATER?

THERE'S A COUPLE DOWN THERE ON THE LEFT.

NO, YOU KNOW, I KIND OF LIKE THESE BETTER.

YEAH, BUT SEE, I SAID THEY'RE TAKEN.

YEAH, BUT NOBODY'S SITTIN' IN 'EM.

WELL, THEY'RE RUNNING A LITTLE LATE.

WELL, YOU KNOW, WE'RE HERE NOW,

AND FRANKLY, I'D BE SURPRISED

IF YOU HAVE THIS MANY FRIENDS.

DON'T TOUCH THE SWEATER.

GIVE ME THE SWEATER.

NOW SIT DOWN, BABY! LET'S ENJOY THE MOVIE.

THERE SHOULD BE A RULE. ONE SWEATER PER SEAT,

AND AT LEAST HALF THE PARTY SHOULD BE SEATED AT ALL TIMES.

AND YOU WONDER WHY WE DON'T TELL YOU THINGS.

OH, COME ON! THAT'S DIFFERENT.

MY DAUGHTER'S NOT SOME JACKASS WITH A CARDIGAN.

JIMMY, HENRY, TELL YOUR MOTHER

THAT I AM NOT AN IRRATIONAL MONSTER.

OR WHAT?

OR NOTHING. JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH.

I KIND OF FEEL LIKE I'M BEING SET UP HERE.

GOD, THIS IS SO CRAZY.

THAT'S NOT ME AT ALL. COME ON.

WHY--WHY WOULD LILY TELL YOU AND NOT ME?

DAUGHTERS TELL THEIR MOTHERS THINGS.

OK? WE HAVE A SPECIAL BOND.

I WORKED VERY HARD TO EARN LILY'S TRUST

BY NOT BEING JUDGMENTAL, SO SHE TELLS ME EVERYTHING.

OH, OK. SO IS THERE SOME OTHER SECRET

YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME ABOUT?

LIKE HAS JIMMY JOINED THE ARMY? IS HENRY MARRIED?

OH, COME ON.

I TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT OUR KIDS.

HEY, YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT THE--

HEY! SHH!

THE WHAT? THE WHAT? THE WHAT?

IT'S NOTHING.

NO, NO, NO. TELL ME.

NO, IT'S REALLY-- IT'S NOTHING.

IT'S JUST THOSE STUPID LIBERTY QUARTERS

YOU KEEP UP IN THAT BOX IN THE ATTIC.

WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?

HENRY SPENT THEM.

THEY'RE QUARTERS.

RARE QUARTERS. THEY'RE HALF MINE.

OUR GRANDFATHER PADDY GAVE THOSE TO US.

OH, GOD!

THOSE QUARTERS ARE WORTH MONEY.

THEY ARE MONEY.

NO, THEY'RE WORTH MORE THAN THEY ARE.

HEY, LOOK, I NEEDED THEM. IT WAS AN EMERGENCY.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON HOKKI GAI WATCH.

HOKKI GAI WATCH. HOKKI GAI WATCH.

AW, CRAP. ANOTHER TATTOO.

YOU KNOW, I HOPE YOU REALIZE

THAT THESE AREN'T JUST QUARTERS.

THIS IS A COIN COLLECTION.

AND I'M GOING TO TURN IT INTO A WATCH COLLECTION.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON, HOKKI GAI WATCH. HOKKI GAI WATCH.

OH, STUPID LENTICULAR ART!

DAD'S GONNA KILL YOU WHEN HE FINDS OUT.

AND I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT HE DOESN'T FIND OUT.

DON'T INSULT ME.

ENJOY. IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE AT THE ARCADE

KICKIN' ASS ON DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION.

OH, CRAP! ANOTHER TATTOO.

I JUST NEED A FEW MORE QUARTERS AND THAT WATCH IS MINE.

HENRY, NO.

OH, COME ON, DAD. IF I WALK AWAY NOW,

SOME OTHER KID WILL GET THE BIG PAYOFF. DON'T CUT ME OFF.

NO WAY, HENRY.

BUT I'M DUE!

HEY, QUIT PUSHING IT, ALL RIGHT?

HE'S GONNA SNAP AND YOU'RE GONNA

TAKE ME DOWN WITH YOU.

I'M NOT GONNA SNAP, ALL RIGHT?

I'M TAKING IT EASY, EASIER THAN THIS SITUATION WARRANTS.

WHAT? HOW ABOUT SOME DISCIPLINE HERE?

ALL RIGHT, FINE. JIMMY, HENRY, NO DESSERT.

WHAT'S FOR DESSERT TONIGHT?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU LIKE? PUDDING.

OH, WOW. WHAT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S PUDDING.

HA! I HATE PUDDING!

JIMMY'S THE ONE WHO LIKES IT.

HENRY! OK.

THAT'S CALM. THAT'S COOL, I'M CALM.

CONTRARY TO POPULAR OPINION,

I'M A CALM AND REASONABLE MAN.

AND NOW I'M JUST GONNA GO PRY A COUPLE OF ANGELS OFF THE ROOF!

WHOA! WHOA!

THAT'S IT?! NO DESSERT?

COME ON. WHAT KIND OF PARENTS ARE YOU?

HENRY STOLE OUR QUARTERS.

WHERE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES?

WHERE'S THE DISCIPLINE?

WELL, YOU KNOW, I GOT A LOT ON MY MIND, ED.

SEE, I THOUGHT I WAS PART OF A MARRIAGE

BASED ON TRUST AND HONESTY,

BUT APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG.

OH, PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT, THAT COIN COLLECTION WAS HALF MINE.

WHATEVER. WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS,

YOU GOTTA PICK YOUR BATTLES.

WELL, I'M PICKING MINE. LET'S GO, GUYS.

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

TO SEE SOME CONSEQUENCES.

I DON'T LIKE CONSEQUENCES.

LET'S GO!

ED, IF YOU KEEP 'EM OUT PAST 4 HOURS, YOU GOTTA FEED 'EM.

HEY, MOM.

LILY! OH, MY GOD, WE GOTTA TALK.

OK. I GOTTA CHECK MY EMAIL AND CALL BRAD.

MAYBE AFTER DINNER.

NO, NO, NO. NOW.

WHAT IS IT, MOM?

[SIGHS] IT'S YOUR DAD.

HE FOUND OUT THAT BRAD IS YOUR...

SPECIAL FRIEND.

OH, GOD.

YEAH.

OH, MY GOD. WHO TOLD HIM?

IS HE FREAKING OUT? HE'S TOTALLY FREAKING OUT.

HE'S GONNA SEND ME TO A CONVENT.

SWEETIE, JUST CALM DOWN, OK?

OH, MY GOD, THIS IS THE WORST!

I MEAN, I KNEW HE'D HAVE TO FIND OUT EVENTUALLY,

BUT I KINDA HOPED I'D BE MARRIED WITH KIDS

AND HE'D JUST SORT OF ASSUME.

NO SUCH LUCK.

OH, MY GOD, I HAVE TO WARN BRAD.

NO, JUST CALM DOWN, ALL RIGHT? DON'T WORRY.

WE TALKED ABOUT IT, AND I THINK HE'S OK.

I MEAN, HE'S NOT MAD AT YOU.

HE'S MAD AT ME FOR NOT TRUSTING HIM ENOUGH TO TELL HIM.

BUT DAD CAN BE SUCH A HOT HEAD.

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.

BUT HE SEEMS TO BE DEALING PRETTY WELL WITH IT.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NO, I'M SERIOUS.

I THINK MAYBE WE UNDERESTIMATED HIM.

Sean: SON OF A BITCH!

OW!

WHAT? HE'S...FINE.

YOU'RE FINE, RIGHT, BRAD?

AAH!

SEE? HE'S--HE'S FINE. HE'S FINE.

SEAN, WHY IS THERE A BLOODY PLASTIC ANGEL ON YOUR FRONT WALK?

IT'S NOT BLOODY.

IT'S GOT BLOOD ON IT.

OK, MAYBE THEY'RE DROPLETS OF BLOOD,

BUT IT'S, UH, FAR FROM BLOODY.

WELL, THEN WHY IS THERE AN ANGEL

WITH DROPLETS OF BLOOD ON IT OUT FRONT?

WELL, UH...

IT FELL FROM THE ROOF.

AND STARTED BLEEDING?

NO. NO.

NO, IT HIT BRAD O'KEEFE IN THE NOSE.

OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.

I MEAN, A BLEEDING PLASTIC ANGEL

COULD DRAW A PAYING CROWD IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

YOU KNOW, WHERE IS JIMMY AND HENRY?

THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.

OH, GUYS. WHAT IS THIS THING DOING HERE?

EASY. EASY.

THIS IS THE MACHINE THE KID PUMPED ALL OF OUR LIBERTY QUARTERS INTO.

WHAT, SO YOU STOLE IT?

IT'S A TEACHING TOOL.

I'M TEACHING THEM HOW TO RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE'S PROPERTY.

OH, BY STEALING OTHER PEOPLE'S PROPERTY.

I'M AN UNCONVENTIONAL KIND OF TEACHER.

I'M LIKE ONE OF THOSE BIG-HEARTED ROBIN WILLIAMS CHARACTERS.

ALL RIGHT, JIMMY, I WANT YOU TO GO UPSTAIRS,

GET THOSE EMPTY COIN BOOKLETS.

HENRY, I WANT YOU TO SORT THROUGH EVERY ONE OF THEM QUARTERS

UNTIL YOU FIND THE ONES YOU LOST.

AND WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT, I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT

HOW IT MAKES OTHER PEOPLE FEEL

WHEN YOU TAKE THINGS THAT BELONG TO THEM.

CAN I KEEP SOME OF THE TOYS?

WHAT DO I CARE?

ALL RIGHT.

HEY. WHOA. WHOA.

NO! NO! GIVE ME THIS THING.

OK, BRAD, HAVE A SEAT.

WE'LL GET YOU SOME ICE.

I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THE BANDAGE.

IT LOOKS FINE. NOBODY'S GONNA NOTICE.

THIS THING IS MAKING ME GO CROSS-EYED.

IT'S--IT'S LIKE AN EYE MAGNET!

WHOA. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?

OH, YOUR DAD JUST TRIED TO KILL ME.

OH, MAN. I COULD BE NEXT!

WHAT'D YOU DO?

ME AND HENRY TOOK HIS COIN COLLECTION.

WHAT DID YOU DO?

OH, HE FOUND OUT ME AND LILY--

HEY, UH, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

BRAD! OH, BRAD, THANK GOD.

I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED--

I'M SORRY!

DAD, PLEASE, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST PUT THE WRENCH DOWN. YOU'RE REALLY SCARING ME.

OH, COME ON, JIMMY.

I'VE NEVER EVEN SPANKED YOU YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

YOU THINK I'M GONNA SMACK PEOPLE WITH A WRENCH?

I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF.

BRAD, I'M SO SORRY--

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, MR. FINNERTY.

GOD. I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!

YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS FOR HIM. ARE YOU HAPPY?

IT'S MARCH.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

ALL RIGHT, I THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH.

WHY DON'T YOU GO GET BRAD SOME MORE ICE?

YEAH, I CAN GET HIM SOME ICE, OK?

'CAUSE I'M A GOOD PERSON.

I DO GOOD THINGS FOR PEOPLE.

OK, THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

AN HONEST...HONEST.

HI, DAN. BRAD'S RIGHT HERE.

BRAD? LOOK AT YOU.

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, YOU IDIOT?

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

IT WAS MY DAD.

HE WAS LIKE A CRAZED BEAST.

YOU SON OF A BITCH!

OW!

HE ATTACKED YOU WITH AN ANGEL?

YES. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT LILY,

AND I DON'T KNOW, HE JUST GOT REALLY MAD.

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, FINNERTY?

WHAT?

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU'D BECOME A VIOLENT LUNATIC

WHEN YOU FOUND OUT YOUR DAUGHTER

WAS GIVING HERSELF TO MY BOY.

YOU TOLD YOUR DAD?!

KIND OF.

I OUGHTA GO GET ONE OF MY PLASTIC CHRISTMAS CANDLES

AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU.

HEY! COME ON, YOU'RE CRAZY.

LOOK, I'VE GOT NO PROBLEM WITH THIS. I'M FINE WITH IT.

THEY'RE TEENAGERS. IT'S NATURAL THAT THEY BE...

EXPLORING THEIR SEXUALITY.

EW. PLEASE STOP.

ADMIT IT. IT'S DRIVING YOU BERSERK,

THE IDEA OF LILY AND BRAD HAVING AN ADULT TIME.

GOD, STOP!

BUT IT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TRY AND MURDER MY BOY.

I DIDN'T DO NOTHING. NO, COME ON.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LILY AND BRAD...SEXING.

OH, MY GOD. STOP TALKING!

OK, COULD WE PLEASE HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT

FOR LILY AND BRAD'S PRIVACY HERE?

HEY, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S TRYING TO KILL 'EM FOR DOING IT.

I WASN'T TRYING TO KILL THEM FOR DOING IT.

IF ONE MORE PERSON SAYS DOING IT, I'M GONNA KILL US ALL!

COME ON, BRAD!

FINNERTY, I'LL SEE YOU IN LARGE CLAIMS COURT.

OH, THERE'S NO SUCH THING, YOU IDIOT!

THERE'S SMALL CLAIMS COURT AND COURT!

HE'S GONNA KILL ME.

YOUR FATHER'S TOTALLY GONNA KILL ME.

MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T TOLD YOUR DAD,

NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO, OK? IT JUST SLIPPED OUT.

MY DAD WAS GIVING ME A DRIVING LESSON,

AND IT WASN'T GOING SO GOOD.

IS THAT WHEN YOU WERE PRACTICING PARALLEL PARKING

AND ALMOST KILLED THE DOG?

YES.

AND HE STARTED SCREAMING AT ME

ABOUT HOW I'M SUCH A DUMB ASS,

AND EVEN IF I DID GET A GIRLFRIEND,

I'D PROBABLY RUN OVER HER DOG.

SO I JUST BLURTED IT OUT.

AND THEN HE GOT ALL MISTY ON ME,

AND SO I GAVE HIM A HUG,

AND THEN HE TOOK ME TO MACY'S AND BOUGHT ME SOME PANTS.

MY DAD'S NEVER BOUGHT ME PANTS BEFORE.

OH, BRAD.

OW.

I'M SORRY. DOES IT HURT?

YEAH.

OH, IT REALLY HURTS.

POOR THING.

WAIT! WAIT! G-GET AWAY FROM ME!

WHAT?

YOU'RE GONNA GET ME KILLED.

BRAD, ARE YOU GONNA BE LIKE THIS EVERY TIME YOU'RE AROUND ME?

YOU'RE DAD'S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.

I GOTTA GO.

AAH!

BRAD. BRAD, IT'S OK.

I JUST WANNA SIT DOWN AND TALK.

WE WERE JUST TALKING.

EXACTLY. THAT'S FINE.

NO. NO. BUT WE WEREN'T EVEN TOUCHING. I SWEAR.

I KNOW. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO.

I'M PRETTY SURE I'M GAY.

LILY, I--

OBVIOUSLY I WAS RIGHT NOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS.

COME ON. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

OH. SO THE ANGEL JUST FLEW OFF THE ROOF

AND ATTACKED BRAD ON ITS OWN?

COME ON, GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF CREDIT, OK?

I'M NOT A CRAZY PERSON.

SO, BRAD... I GUESS YOU AND LILY

HAVE BEEN GETTING A LOT CLOSER THESE LAST FEW MONTHS.

NO, NO. NOT AT ALL.

NO, IT'S OK. I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU TWO.

I THINK I HEAR MY MOM CALLING.

I GOTTA-- I GOTTA--WHOA!

WHOA, HOLD ON! I GOTCHA! I GOTCHA!

I GOTCHA. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED, MAN.

I KNOW EVERYBODY'S SCARED OF ME.

THEY THINK I'M GONNA FREAK OUT BECAUSE I'M LILY'S DAD,

BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE. I'M COOL.

UM, CAN I GO NOW?

YEAH. YEAH, SURE, BRAD.

SON OF A BITCH!

OW! AH!

OW!

BRAD?!

I JUST WANTED TO BE HIS FRIEND.

WHY?

THINGS ARE HAPPENING WITH YOU, BIG THINGS.

AND...AND I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BE TOO SCARED TO TELL ME.

SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU?

ANYTHING.

YOU KNOW. AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW

I'M NOT GONNA FREAK OUT BECAUSE I'M NOT LIKE THAT.

BUT IT'S WEIRD. YOU'RE MY DAD, YOU KNOW?

WHAT, SO IT'S NOT WEIRD FOR YOUR MOM?

I MEAN, YOU WENT TO HER RIGHT AWAY.

NO, I DIDN'T. SHE CAUGHT US.

REALLY?

YES. SHE FOUND BRAD IN MY BEDROOM

IN MY PINK BATHROBE. IT WAS KIND OF OBVIOUS.

REALLY? SO IT WASN'T LIKE

YOU TWO SHARED A SPECIAL BOND SO YOU TOLD HER?

GOD, NO.

AH, GREAT!

THERE ARE TONS OF THINGS THAT I DON'T TELL MOM.

LIKE WHAT?

I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.

COME ON, TELL ME! NO!

COME ON, JUST A TINY THING. COME ON.

I WANNA KNOW SOMETHING THAT SHE DOESN'T.

AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL HER?

OF COURSE NOT. THAT WOULD DEFEAT THE WHOLE PURPOSE.

I WANT SOMETHING THAT ONLY YOU AND I SHARE, HMM?

OH. [CHUCKLES]

YOU GOT A LITTLE HEART TATTOO.

CLEVER, WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE IT.

'CAUSE MOM TOTALLY FREAKED OUT

WHEN I GOT MY LITTLE CHINESE SYMBOL.

I KNOW. OK. WELL, 2's ENOUGH.

ALL RIGHT? 3's TRASHY.

YOU SHOULD KNOW.

WELL, IT'S DIFFERENT FOR CHICKS, OK?

OK.

ALL RIGHT, COME HERE. YOU'RE STILL MY LITTLE ANGEL.

WE HAVE A LITTLE SECRET.

YES, WE DO.

WHOA. WHOA. HEY. HEY. HEY.

WHERE YOU GUYS GOING WITH THIS?

SEAN, THE LESSON HAS BEEN LEARNED.

AND WE GOT ALL OUR LIBERTY QUARTERS BACK.

GOOD, SO GET RID OF THIS THING.

OK, HERE'S THE PLAN, BOYS. I'LL BE THE LOOKOUT.

MR. BLUE, MR. YELLOW, YOU GUYS PUT THE MACHINE BACK ON THE RACK.

IF WE RUN INTO ANY TROUBLE,

EVERYBODY TAKE OFF IN SEPARATE DIRECTIONS.

NO. YOU'RE TAKING THIS BACK BY YOURSELF.

YOU'RE UNDERCUTTING MY AUTHORITY HERE, SEAN.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY AUTHORITY HERE. GO.

ALL RIGHT.

BYE.

HEY, HOW'D IT GO WITH LILY?

IT WAS GREAT. GREAT. WE HAD A GREAT TALK,

AND SHE REALLY OPENED UP, AND SHE KNOWS

THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF ME.

OH, SWEETIE.

REMEMBER WHEN OUR BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH HER

WAS WHEN SHE WAS AFRAID

OF THAT MONSTER IN THE BATHROOM?

OH. YEAH, WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU TOLD HER

THERE WAS A MONSTER THERE.

SHE KEPT GETTING INTO MY MAKEUP.

YEAH. SHE DIDN'T POTTY TRAIN TILL SHE WAS, LIKE, 6.

OK.

SO, WHAT'D SHE TALK ABOUT?

I CAN'T TELL YOU.

YEAH, RIGHT. WHAT WAS IT?

NO, I CAN'T.

IT'S A SECRET BETWEEN ME AND LIL.

HONEY, COME ON. SHE TELLS ME EVERYTHING.

WELL, THEN, SHE PROBABLY TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS.

WELL, I'M SURE SHE DID. SO WHAT WAS IT?

I CAN'T TELL YOU.

OH, RIGHT. 'CAUSE YOU MADE IT UP.

UH-UH. NO, I DIDN'T.

SEE, WE HAVE A BOND NOW.

OH, YES. OK.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR DINNER?

NO, SERIOUSLY. SHE HAS A SECRET,

A REAL BIG ONE, AND I KNOW ABOUT IT, AND YOU DON'T.

BECAUSE, UM...

UH, YOU MADE IT UP.

NO, I DIDN'T. I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.

DOES SPAGHETTI SOUND GOOD?

LOOK, BELIEVE ME, DON'T BELIEVE ME, I DON'T CARE.

MAYBE WITH A LITTLE MEAT SAUCE.

OH, I GOT A SECRET.

I'VE GOT A SECRET, AND YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT.

COULD YOU HAND ME THAT POT?

SHE GOT ANOTHER TATTOO RIGHT BACK HERE,

RIGHT BEHIND HER HAIR.

NO.

HA! YOU DIDN'T KNOW, DID YOU?

LILY!

OH, GOD! SHE TOLD ME IN CONFIDENCE!

GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE, LIL!

I DIDN'T TELL HER ANYTHING!

1918. IS IT MINT?

SUB-MINT.

OK, IT'S WORTH 35 CENTS.

OH, GOD. OK, THIS ONE. THIS ONE'S MINT.

WHAT YEAR? UH, 1920.

80 CENTS.

THAT'S NOT BAD FOR A QUARTER.

HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND ON THIS BOOK?

UH, 28 BUCKS.

HOLY CRAP, ARE THOSE LIBERTY QUARTERS?

YEAH.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE ARE WORTH?

YOU WANNA BUY 'EM?

LET ME GET MY WALLET!