Original subtitles

♪ Oh what fun we were there when they fall ♪

♪ We have a reason that's worth marching for ♪

♪ Not for battle or banner or foe ♪

♪ But for girls girls girls girls girls ♪

♪ When we're marching we never retreat ♪

♪ For we're charging a foe that is swift ♪

♪ But when we're caught in a swell of the enemy's girls ♪

Danilo!

- Danilo! - Danilo!

♪ For our country will never make war ♪

♪ We have a reason that's worth marching for ♪

♪ Not for battle or banner or foe ♪

♪ But for girls girls girls girls girls ♪

♪ When we're marching we never retreat ♪

♪ For we're charging a foe that is swift ♪

♪ But when we're caught in the swell of the enemy's girls ♪

♪ Then surrender to girls girls girls ♪♪

You may continue.

Thank you, madam.

'Madam.'

Pardon me, madam, for trespassing in your estate

and intruding on your privacy.

What do you want?

I come to deliver a confidential letter.

This is very important, madam.

"Madam Sonia

"If you should ever meet Count Danilo

let me tell you he is terrific."

What is this? Count Danilo? Terrific?

That's what people say.

Danilo? Danilo?

Yes, Count Danilo.

Now, madam, this is absolutely between you and me.

This Count Danilo is crazy to meet you.

He tried everything. In fact, he's desperate.

I really feel sorry for the man, but you're such a widow.

Pardon me, madam, what I mean is you live in complete seclusion

and the poor man has no chance to meet you socially.

Well, I'm very sorry.

I never heard of the gentleman and I'm not interested.

Oh, you will be, madam.

The man is in such a state of man

there is no telling what he may do.

Who is this Count Danilo?

Me.

Who wrote this letter?

I.

I don't understand.

What do you want?

An answer.

Yes or... when.

If you don't leave immediately, I shall report you to the king.

Oh, please, please.

Let me stay only a little while.

And you may recommend me to the queen.

It's hard to believe that an officer of the royal guard...

Dares to approach the richest most powerful woman in the country...

And behaves like a silly young cadet.

It's an outrage.

Now, don't get excited, please.

- I am... - Unjust.

That's what you are.

Put yourself in my position.

Imagine you saying all those lovely things to me

and me wearing your mask.

Wouldn't you spend sleepless nights

wondering what I look like?

Well, my situation is much worse.

I haven't slept for months.

Then I think it would be very wise if you leave immediately and go to bed.

And dream about you.

No. No. You're cruel, madam.

You're torturing me.

Day by day, I've been watching you

when you ride in your carriage in the street.

I come up here every night.

I suppose I'll have to call my servant.

They're all bribed.

Do you know I've been feeding your dogs

with the finest imported salami?

Just to get a quite glimpse of you.

And what do I see?

Your lovely little hands, your dainty little feet

and yet, the most beautiful thing...

Stop it.

Tell me. You're eyes.

Are they blue... or brown?

Are you pretty or beautiful?

- Gorgeous. - No. This is no time for joking.

I have been in many situations but this is too much.

There's not a window in Marshovia

that I haven't jumped out.

I've got around every kind of husband.

But here I'm blocked. And by what?

By a piece of flimsy material.

Oh, please. Have mercy.

Lift the veil between us, madam.

Be a nice girl.

My dear count, I'm very sorry

to be the cause of all your suffering.

But, no... I..

But unfortunately, we are in Marshovia and I am a widow.

Why don't you throw away this old custom of ours?

- And take off my veil? - Yes.

I'd do it in a minute if there is any reason for it

or... or the slightest temptation, but there isn't.

Maybe you... you can't see me very well?

Oh, yes. In fact, too well.

I'll admit you're very funny but... not terrific.

Not even colossal.

Madam, I want you to understand once and for all.

Our romance is over.

Don't count on me any further.

I've tried to bring a little moonlight into your eyes.

But you pull down the shade.

Alright.

Forget me, if you can.

Go back to your solitude.

Put on your loveliest negligee and wish yourself goodnight.

And please, don't include me even in your dreams. Will you?

Goodnight.

Well? I'm a free man again.

Come, Mishka.

No more salami.

♪ The night is romantic ♪

♪ And I am alone ♪

♪ In vain through my window ♪

♪ The moonlight is thrown ♪

♪ Oh Vilia my Vilia ♪

♪ Oh yes that's the tune ♪

♪ The song of the shepherd ♪

♪ Who who cried for the moon ♪

♪ Vilia oh Vilia ♪

♪ Don't leave me alone ♪

♪ My little life is a ♪

♪ Love song to you ♪

♪ Vilia oh Vilia ♪

♪ I've waited so long ♪

♪ Lonely with only a song ♪

♪ Vilia oh Vilia don't leave me alone ♪

♪ Love calls to love ♪

♪ And my heart is your own ♪

♪ Vilia oh Vilia ♪

♪ I've waited so long ♪

♪ Lonely with only a song ♪

♪ Lonely without thee ♪♪

- Goodnight. - Goodnight, madam.

Oh, just a minute, before I forget.

- Melissa? - 'Yes, madam.'

Will you ask the secretary to find out

the address of a certain, um, of a certain, um..

What was his name? Um, Count Danilo.

Oh, Count Danilo lives in Queen's Avenue.

- Number 25. - Second floor.

Apartment B.

Thank you. Never mind. That's all.

Goodnight, madam.

Goodnight, madam.

Goodnight, madam.

♪ I thought that this day would be the day ♪

♪ When my heart would find romance ♪

♪ Romance again ♪

♪ I thought that this day would be the day ♪

♪ And my heart would learn to dance ♪

♪ To dance again ♪

♪ It was all just a fleeting dream ♪

♪ Men are not ♪

♪ Not what they seem ♪

♪ And this beautiful day ♪

♪ Only taught me to regret ♪

♪ But tonight will teach me ♪

♪ To forget ♪

♪ While I wait he's forgetting me ♪

♪ It was just not meant to be ♪

♪ And so it seems ♪

♪ I must close my book of dreams ♪

♪ And I seal it with regret ♪

♪ And forget ♪♪

- Madam Menosca. - 'Yes, madam.'

- My new dress. - 'Yes, madam.'

Get everything ready. We're going to Paris.

Tomorrow, tomorrow morning.

- As soon as possible. - 'Yes, madam.'

There's a limit to every widow.

♪ The melody of laughter flowed many times ♪

♪ That it flows here many times ♪

♪ Pretty lover your pearls and your lavender ♪

♪ Soon will enlighten the eye of each cavalier ♪

♪ Around a lei of roses wine and glances ♪

♪ And he glances like romances ♪

♪ Once again I meant to be ♪

♪ The melody of Paris in the spring ♪♪

'Who is it?'

It's your suspenders, Your Majesty.

Any news, Your Majesty?

- Conditions are bad. - Terrible.

- What did you hear? - Well, you see, Your Majesty.

After all, we're a sheep and cow country.

Who's complaining now?

- The shepherds. - Ah.

I overheard two shepherds in the street yesterday.

What did they say?

Now, tell me, tell me.

The opinion of the shepherd on the street.

That's what I want to know.

They say when the richest woman

gets fed up with the country and leaves..

- Ah. So they're blaming me. - For everything.

They're even telling jokes about Your Majesty.

- Are they funny? - No.

That's bad.

If conditions don't improve

the shepherds are going to organize.

They say there's already some talk of a black sheep movement.

Were they prominent shepherds?

Couple of East side shepherds.

- Intellectuals? - Yes.

Ah, let them talk.

Are you staying out late tonight, darling?

You ought to know how it is with these cabinet meetings.

Do you think it will last all night?

Now, please don't bother me.

It's enough to have a widow in Paris

to worry about without having a queen in bed nagging me.

Widow. Widow. That's all I hear.

A king worrying about a widow.

Not a widow. The widow.

The richest widow in the world.

In Europe.

Well, anyhow, she owns more than half of Marshovia.

Do you realize that she is in every cow

in the country for 52 percent?

But you belong to me. Don't you, darling?

Read this telegram from our ambassador in Paris.

"Widow sensation in Paris.

"Fortune hunters are arriving daily. Marriage in the air.

"Unless Marshovia acts quickly

"fear national fortune goes into foreign hands.

"I know what to do but am too old to do it."

Darling, how late do you think you'll be tonight?

Now, let me drum this into your head.

You and I are living on her taxes.

If she doesn't come back

if she withdraws her money from the country

the National Bank will close.

The country goes bankrupt.

There will be a revolution.

Then we'll be trampled from our throne.

Achmed, something must be done.

Something will be done.

And tonight. This is a secret.

The cabinet figures that we have to meet foreign competition.

Therefore, we're sending a special envoy.

A real man who is not too old.

And knows what to do.

Of course.

The man must be charming, irresistible.

So she falls in love with him.

And he brings her back to Marshovia.

Who are you going to send?

Well, we're considering Count Gabrielovich.

- Gabrielovich? - Now tell me.

If you weren't married, if you weren't my wife

could you fall for Gabrielovitsch?

If I weren't married

if I had to do over again and had the choice

between you and Gabrielovitsch, frankly, I'd take you.

That shows you how I think of Gabrielovich.

- He's out. - Who else have you got?

Well, there's Zinchovitch, Jerjosh and Mentroloski.

I'd still take you.

Oh, you'll have to do better than that.

That's what I say, but the Prime Minister..

He depends too much on his wife's judgment.

But I say no politics at a time like this. Let the best man win.

That's what the meeting is for. I'm expecting a real fight.

Darling, do you think it will take you all night?

And I could have married the sultan's daughter.

Goodnight, dear.

Please, I beg of you.

Control yourself.

And you, too.

I never shriek, Your Majesty.

Walls have ears.

You think your servants heard anything?

Oh. My good name.

Your Majesty, may I make a suggestion?

What is it?

Let's fool them.

Let's make a little conversation.

Let's pretend to be social.

Right.

A little more volume, Your Majesty.

We're having a good time.

Fine. Fine.

Shh. That's enough.

Let's not overdo it.

Oh, that settles the servant problem.

Now, let's keep this scandal between you and you and me.

This must be kept out of history.

Not a soul must know.

Nobody. I swear, not a soul.

We were planning not even to tell Your Majesty.

- Isn't that right? - Uh-huh.

That's the spirit.

- Now listen, you. - Shh, careful, Achmed.

A firing squad's too good for you.

Tonight, you'll be taken to the mountains.

First, your ears will be cut off.

I'll attend to you later.

Yes, Your Majesty.

No. No, Dolores. That's not right.

You know well enough I have to go down in history as Achmed the Great.

And how do you cooperate?

Falling in love with the captain of the Guard. Oh.

That's hitting below the crown.

You're wrong, Achmed. You're wrong.

I didn't fall in love.

I was defending myself, and splendidly.

But you came back too early. You didn't give me a chance.

If you had returned an hour later you'd have found him where he belongs.

Outside the door.

How does he compare with Gabrielovitsch?

No comparison, put Gabrielovitsch

Zinchovitch together and what have you?

Gabrielovitsch and Zinchovitch. But Danilo, no, no comparison.

- Dolores. - Yes, Achmed.

With my brains and your contacts..

...Marshovia can't miss.

Afraid of me?

Ever been Paris?

Oh, I spent all my holidays there, Your Majesty.

Oh. So you know Paris.

Do you want some other lass, Your Majesty?

No. No.

I'm a married man.

- Are you married? - No, Your Majesty.

You don't know what you're missing.

- Don't I? - No, you don't.

Your Majesty, may I make a suggestion?

Please.

Let's drop the matter.

Fine. Now listen, my good fellow.

You will leave tomorrow for Paris.

Oh, thank you, Your Majesty.

On a secret mission that's right up your boulevard.

Please, Your Majesty.

How is your French?

Terrific.

Not bad. What does it mean?

Oh, I was just saying something about Her Majesty, the Queen.

Was it nice?

- Lovely. - Isn't she?

Marvelous.

- You will leave immediately. - Yes, Your Majesty.

As soon as you arrive in Paris

you will report to the Marshovian embassy.

Our ambassador, Baron Bafbaf will tell you the next move.

Your Majesty, whatever my mission may be..

...Marshovia, right or wrong..

...I'll never forget your face when you walked into that room.

- Did I frighten you? - Oh.

Come on, my boy.

- Goodbye, Your Majesty. - Goodbye, my boy.

What's new?

I overheard two girls on the streetcar.

- They were talking about you. - What did they say?

They were telling stories about you.

- Were they funny? - Well, they must have been.

You see, I don't understand French but the conductor did.

So he stopped the car and threw them out.

That's Paris.

City of girls on their own private.

I'm going to Maxim's.

But aren't you going to report to the embassy, sir?

Tomorrow morning. I'm going to Maxim's.

But, sir.

♪ I'm going to Maxim's where all the girls are queens ♪

♪ Each kiss goes on the wine list ♪

♪ And mine is quite a fine list ♪

♪ Lolo, Dodo Joujou, Cloclo, Margo, Froufrou ♪

♪ We promise to be faithful until the night is through ♪

♪ A melody of laughter, love, and Maytime ♪

♪ That is how we pass the daytime ♪

♪ My tiaras, my pearls and my lavalieres ♪

♪ Soon will enrapture the eyes of each cavalier ♪

'Gentlemen!'

Yes, ma'am.

'I'll be ready in a moment.'

Thank you, madam.

♪ Around a lei of roses ♪

♪ Wine and dances manly glances, light romances ♪

♪ Once again I learn to sing... ♪

- 'Gentlemen?' - Yes, madam.

'What are your plans for this evening?'

We'll go to Cait d'Pate to dine.

- Then to the opera. - We should get there at nine.

Then a late supper at the Grand Hotel.

When it's midnight and all is well..

Then we'll dance, if madam be willing.

'How mad, how wild, how thrilling.'

♪ I'm going to Maxim's where all the girls are queens ♪

♪ Each kiss goes on the wine list ♪

Close the window.

Oh, why don't you..

♪ I'll stay on at Maxim's until the morning beams ♪

♪ When I am feeling so good be sure I'm out for no good ♪

♪ Lolo, Dodo, Joujou ♪♪

Wake your young man, please do. Come on.

Don't spare the horses and drive me to Maxim's.

Where is he going? What did he say?

I think he said Maxim's.

He's going there it seems.

I heard that's where a man can..

...see ladies dance the can-can.

Lolo, Dodo, Joujou, or any name will do.

♪ True love is one of a thousand ♪

♪ And the best one goes to Maxim's ♪

She can't go to Maxim's.

Not in my wildest dream.

Her face must not be shown there.

And we are too well known there.

Lolo, Dodo, Joujou, Cloclo, Margo, Froufrou...

...we promise to be faithful until the night is true.

Danilo.

Lulu!

Count Danilo.

Lulu.

Please.

- Did you say something? - No.

Well... you better not.

Are you looking for trouble?

- No. - Good.

What if I am looking for trouble?

- Oh, shut up. - I won't shut up.

Go home, you old fool.

Pig.

Idiot.

'Stop. How dare you?'

My seconds will call on you, monsieur.

Very well, monsieur.

I wouldn't bother.

Now, listen..

Who is that old goat?

He's some ambassador from, ah..

You understand.

This whole thing is a government secret

of the highest importance.

Yes, your excellency.

Well, tomorrow night, the embassy

is giving a big reception in her honor.

Does she seem way off, then?

No. No. No. No.

Is she beautiful?

She owns 52 percent of Marshovia.

So she is beautiful.

If you like her or not, you love her.

This is cold blooded patriotism.

Have you ever had diplomatic relations with a woman?

Oh, well.

Anyhow, these are the plans for tomorrow night.

And before you arrive, she must have a very dull time.

So that you can shine by contrast.

Therefore, for the first half hour

I will entertain her personally.

After listening to me for 15 minutes

she will be completely bored.

Then we dance.

After five minutes dancing with me

the widow needs fresh air.

Exit to garden.

Now, and now, she gets the big thrill.

I leave her.

She's alone in the garden.

It'll be a moonlight night.

I'll see to that.

I mean, it'll look like it.

And the next thing, you come over the garden wall.

- Danilo! - Danilo!

How are you? How are you? Oh, fine.

Da..

- Ni.. - Lo.

How are you?

'Danilo. Danilo. Danny.'

Danilo.

Stay here or I'll kill you.

I don't like him.

I once had a wonderful girl.

Girls. Girls. Girls, it's good to be back.

Mimi, Gigi, Fifi, Fufu..

Do you still have that frightful chauffeur?

With all the cushions.

Good. Joujou, Dodo, Mixie..

I gained five pounds.

They're all mine.

And Margo. Margo with the same sweet dimple.

How's your land lady? Still grouchy?

And Dutchess, are your garters still blue?

Baby blue.

Do you still cry when you like somebody?

Did you miss me, girls?

Yes.

And I miss you. All of you, Mimi, Kiki, Fifi, Fufu..

Oh, it's great to be in love.

Just a minute.

Don't stand in the entrance.

Go over to table fifteen. Order lots of champagne.

Any Americans here tonight?

I don't know.

New here, huh?

Rather.

Look who's here. Danilo.

♪ Let us gaze in the wild in the wild while its wet ♪

♪ Let's do things that we live to regret ♪

♪ Let me dance till the restaurants close ♪

♪ With the girls girls girls girls girls ♪

♪ Where there's wine and there's women and song ♪

♪ It is wrong not to do something wrong ♪

♪ When you do something wrong you must do something right ♪

♪ And I'm doing alright tonight ♪♪

I say.

Oh, terrific.

Remember? Last year?

Do I? Oh.

'Pretty, isn't it? He gave it to me.'

Not bad.

Who is she?

She's new here. What's your name, deary?

Fifi.

Well, Fifi..

Who is he?

- Don't you know me? - No.

She doesn't know me.

You don't know him?

No.

It's Danilo.

Danilo? Danilo?

Wait a minute.

Aren't you the man who gave me this bracelet?

Oh, listen. If I ever gave you a bracelet, you'd remember it.

And besides, he doesn't give any bracelets.

Shall we sit down?

Well, there's not much going on here tonight.

No Americans.

Are you a banker?

- No. - Oh.

I was just in the mood for a banker.

You understand, don't you?

Sure. Sure.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...

It's alright..

Not bad.

Come on.

Sit down. Waiter.

Yes, madam.

Lots of champagne.

Yes, madam.

You're the freshest Fifi I ever met.

But a nice Fifi.

How nice?

Not too nice.

Your right eye says yes and your left eye says no.

Fifi, you're cockeyed.

Quite right.

For instance, at the moment, I'm looking at someone else

and what's more..

Let go of my hands.

You're charming, fascinating, delightful.

Stop kicking me.

Stop pinching me.

That's better.

Now, you're behaving like a gentleman.

Give me back my shoe.

Girls who sit at my table don't flirt with other men.

Understand?

I'm not your slave.

After all, we're living in 1885.

Shut up.

Constantinople.

Number seven.

- Let's go. - Where?

Upstairs, to the private dining room.

Oh, no. I never go to private dining rooms.

I don't want to act the lady but..

May I put it on?

Please.

And now, Fifi, if you feel in the mood for a banker..

...the door is not locked.

What's the matter?

Great man.

His only mistake was he attacked too early.

That's how he lost Waterloo.

Oh, now, listen. I don't mind a little kissing.

I rather enjoy sometimes.

But this is absolutely demoralizing.

First, it's the Turk, now it's Napoleon.

Well, I'll give you Napoleon.

You can have him all night.

And see if you can get his hand off the second button.

- Anything wrong? - No, she's impossible.

I take her upstairs and just when I am about to be nice to her

she stops to talk about another man.

Shame on you.

Why, the girl has no etiquette. Come on.

Would you like to dance?

No.

♪ Not a word dear ♪

♪ Have I heard here ♪

♪ Yet I know ♪

♪ You've not told me ♪

♪ But you hold me ♪

♪ For I know ♪

♪ Words may be unspoken ♪

♪ Yet I know you hear ♪

♪ Music finds your heart's reply ♪

♪ I love you dear ♪♪

Danilo.

Yes, Fifi.

Do you love me?

Certainly. Why not?

Oh, you don't understand.

I mean, do you love me?

Forever.

How long is forever with you?

What a funny question?

Has no one ever asked you that before?

Oh, not at Maxim's.

You like Maxim's girls best. Don't you?

Of course, I do.

Where in all the world can you find

girls so beautiful, so charming?

Who can dance like you girls? Who can smile like you?

Ah, you're wonderful.

And let me tell you something, Fifi.

Stay just what you are.

Have you ever met a society woman?

Never.

Well, you haven't missed a thing.

You don't like ladies?

Yes. Yes, I like them.

They are nice but they take love too seriously.

They can't enjoy it today without bothering about tomorrow.

You mean, they're hard to get rid off.

Right. And the silly questions they ask you.

"Do you love me?"

And then you have to lie, "Yes, certainly, of course."

And then they'll ask you again, "Do you really love me?"

No, really..

Oh. Well, may I ask who you are?

Just one of those women who ask silly questions.

And then you have to lie.

Do you still want me to stay?

Oh, I wouldn't let you go for anything in the world.

But, what if I should bother you tomorrow?

What if I should be... hard to get rid off?

Darling..

Is that all you can say?

No, but..

It's a very clear answer.

Oh, now, listen, Fifi.

Fifi. That's all you really want.

That's what every woman is to you.

Fifi.

- You great lover. - Oh, please..

Oh, you don't even know what love is.

Please. Please. Don't spoil this evening.

Spoil this evening? Oh, no, I won't.

You came here to have a great time, didn't you?

Well, you'll have it.

You won't be cheated.

Kiki, Margo, Cloclo, Marsel.

Now, listen.

Girls, the gentleman wants to be entertained.

Here they are.

All your little tonights..

...and not a tomorrow among them.

Goodnight, deary. I deserved your scolding.

I should have known better.

♪ Goodbye to you Maxim's ♪

♪ I've got to live the dream ♪

♪ You've given me what's splendid ♪

♪ But now the play has ended ♪

♪ I give you to Zuzu Cloclo Margo Froufrou ♪

♪ But while I have lost in spirit ♪

♪ I leave Maxim's to you ♪♪

♪ I could not believe it at all ♪

♪ But all widows are gay ♪

♪ And if we're poor ones or the rich ones ♪

♪ We are much more attractive ♪

♪ That way ♪

Where is Captain Danilo?

- Ah, he... - Don't lie to me. Where is he?

He-he left, sir.

- He left? - Uh, he left.

How long ago?

Yesterday.

You mean he hasn't come back since last night?

Yes, sir.

Oh. Oh. Oh, dear, dear.

What am I going to do with her?

Please, don't kill her. Forgive her, sir.

I'm sure she can explain everything.

- Who? - Your wife, sir.

Who do you think I am?

The husband, aren't you?

I am the Marshovian ambassador.

Oh. Then I must tell the truth.

Yes, well, what is it?

Captain Danilo left last night and he hasn't come back.

Oh. What will I do?

What will I do?

If you don't mind, sir, I still say forgive her.

- She loves you. - I'm not married.

I'm not looking for my wife.

I'm look for Captain Danilo. Where is he?

Your Excellency, you may think I'm stubborn.

But he left last night and he hasn't come back.

You find him.

You go to every nightclub

every cafe, every.. Here.

Here are some addresses.

If Captain Danilo doesn't appear

immediately here in the embassy

he'll be court marshaled.

Oh, yes, Your Excellency.

Listen. Don't you lose those addresses.

No, Your Excellency.

- Captain. Captain. - Hmm... what?

- Hello, captain, it's me. - Ah..

- Mishka, Captain. Mishka. - Ah..

- Yes. Your uniform. Uniform. - Ah..

Uniform put on, captain.

Yes..

Embassy. Embassy. Ah, ah, ah.

Court marshal, captain.

Nice captain.

'Nice captain.'

'Nice captain.'

He won't let me put on his uniform.

'Danilo..'

Forward march!

Hut.

No.

No, no, no, I'm not going to make love to that widow.

Can you imagine ordering to make love?

That's the army.

I never heard of such a thing

and I've been with the army all my live.

Do you have to marry her, Danilo?

It's a secret. Don't tell it, Captain.

It's a secret.

If I don't bring her back to Marshovia

Marshovia will be... bankrupt.

That's a secret, too.

And I'm not going to tell you.

He'll be court marshaled if he doesn't go.

Fifi. Where are you, Fifi?

If she really loves you, she'll come back.

But she's a lady.

I once knew a lady who came back twice.

Alright. Alright. I'm not going.

He's going to be shot.

Please get him to the embassy.

No, I won't. I won't.

Maxim's. That's where Fifi is.

I'm going to Maxim's and nothing can stop me.

- Yes. - Right.

I'm going to Maxim's.

- Any news? - No, Your Excellency.

- Is that him? - No. No. No.

Didn't I tell you exactly what he looks like?

- Yes, sir. - Oh..

Just a moment. Don't..

I'm not going to make love to that widow.

Another a cup of coffee.

- I'm perfectly sober. - Drink it.

I'm in full possession of all my faculties.

Drink it.

But I'm not going to make love to your widow.

Drink that coffee.

I'm in love with another woman.

- Who is she? - I don't know.

Drink that coffee.

- No. - Drink that coffee!

I'm a soldier. I'm an officer.

My duty is to fight.

I'm willing to die on every battlefield.

But I'm not going to drink another cup of coffee!

In the name of His Majesty, King Achmed the Second

Commander-in-Chief of the Army

High Admiral of the navy, drink that coffee!

Now.

You stay here and face the widow.

'And now, we come to the room, madam'

'where King Achmed said to Queen Dolores'

'for the first time, the historic words'

' "I love you" .'

Please, madam.

Well. What a surprise.

Captain Danilo.

Well, of all people. How did you get here?

When did you arrive?

Oh, yes, well, what a coincidence.

What a coincidence.

I thought he was in Marshovia. Yes.

Captain Danilo.

Madam Sonia, may I present my dearest friend

none other than Captain Danilo.

It's a pleasure, madam.

Is it?

It's more, it's a thrill.

Meeting you is the greatest thing that could happen to me.

Madam, may I ask a favor?

Shall I lift my veil, Captain?

Oh, no, madam. No.

I don't jump over garden walls anymore.

Since when?

Since yesterday.

I fell in love with a girl... madly.

But she disappeared.

And you, madam, are the only one in the world who can help me find her.

Her name is Fifi.

Fifi is no more.

You killed her.

After she left you last night

she came home and committed suicide.

She jumped into a cold bath, and you'd be surprised, Captain

what cold water can do.

Just a moment.

Another telegram to His Majesty.

Following this accurate statement of happenings.

Coffee worked. Introduction performed.

Widow accused Danilo of murder

but was willing to lift veil.

Couldn't understand the rest of conversation as both talked

in code, and shh..

At the moment, both are standing in front of the garden door.

If he could only get her into the garden..

He whispers something in her ear.

Apparently, something nice.

She gets very angry. In fact, she's furious.

She opens the garden door.

She goes into the garden.

He follows. Victory. Victory. Victory.

I love you, Sonia.

So I noticed, last night.

Oh, please. I'm mad about you.

Everybody is.

I've heard it at least a hundred times tonight.

And everybody wants to marry me.

There must be something wonderful about me.

What is it that fascinate all these men?

What can it be?

Is it my charm, or my beauty?

Or... do you suppose it's my position?

You mean, your money?

Yes.

I don't know about the other men. but with me

it's strictly your money and nothing else.

- I believe you. - I knew you would.

That's why I said it.

If you had only told me last night who you were..

If I had only known that I had in my arms

the richest widow, I..

What did you come to Maxim's for anyway?

Oh, I see.

Just a rich woman looking for a thrill.

Goodbye, Captain.

A telegram to His Majesty.

Just came out of shrubbery.

Big doings in garden.

Overheard whole scene but could not understand a word

because wind was against me and yet...

Telegram, Your Excellency.

It's from His Majesty.

It's in code.

- Zizipoff. - Yes, Your Excellency.

Follow me.

The first word is "Darling."

- What does it mean? - D... D..

Da... "Darling."

"I consider you the greatest idiot

in the diplomatic service."

What is the next word, Your Excellency?

"Lilac time."

"Lilac time."

Adamavich.

'Yes, Your Excellency.'

Go to my bedroom.

In the cabinet behind His Majesty's picture

there's a little brown bottle of poison.

Throw it away. It's a protective measure.

'Yes, Your Excellency.'

Read it again, slowly.

"I consider you the greatest idiot

"in the diplomatic service.

"A diplomat who does not know

"what is going on under his very roof is unfit

"to bear the noble name of Popov.

"It is hard to believe

"that you are the son of that great statesman, Popov.

"But, Popov or no Popov

"I consider you the greatest idiot

"in the diplomatic service.

"Now, listen, Popov.

"Danilo gave secrets away to Maxim's girls.

"Secret all over Paris.

"Local Marshovian newspapers

"read this information by telegraph.

"Opposition papers will print story tomorrow.

"If widow finds out before marriage, everything lost.

"She must be married tonight.

"Therefore, act quickly.

"Be brilliant, be creative.

"Kill rumors. Admit nothing.

"Deny everything. Avoid issues.

"Face fact. Stand fact.

"Something must be done. Do it, do it now.

"What are you waiting for?

Achmed."

Do you still like Maxim girls best?

I love you and only you, darling.

Please believe me.

- Danilo. - Ask me anything you want.

All my silly questions?

Yes. About tomorrow.

About all the days after tomorrow.

Ask me anything, everything.

But please, believe me.

I do believe you.

Because I want to believe you.

Ladies. Ladies and gentlemen.

I have the honor to announce the coming marriage

and the present engagement of the charming Marshovian lady

Madam Sonia, and our own Count Danilo

captain of the royal guard.

'It's a love match.'

How-how does he know?

How does anyone know except you and me?

Darling.

'Captain Danilo'

Will you be good enough to come to His Excellency immediately?

Sonia.

Yes, Danilo?

Will you wait here for me?

Of course.

Your Excellency, how dare you made such an announcement.

- How dare you. - Do you know whom you're talking?

- To the biggest idiot. - Oh.

You read the telegram.

What telegram?

Here. Here. Read it.

It's unbelievable.

An officer giving away a government secret

to a lot of Maxim's girls.

All Paris knows it.

Tomorrow it'll be in all the papers.

If the widow ever finds out this is a conspiracy

that the government sent you here she'll call off the marriage.

And the next thing, she'll take her money out of Marshovia.

Then where will we be?

You have to marry her tonight.

Act quickly, be brilliant.

"Act quickly, be brilliant, meet crisis

"deny everything, face facts.

"Something must be done.

"Do it. Do it now.

What are you waiting for?"

Your Excellency. Shut up!

Sonia, you're crying.

I'm crying because I'm happy.

Why shouldn't I be happy?

- Sonia. - Yes, Danilo.

There is something, something I must tell you.

Please.

Just a moment.

You love me, don't you?

Yes, I do. I do love you.

You don't have to convince me.

I know it and the Maxim's girls

all Paris, the whole world everybody knows you love me.

And everybody knows... why.

Well, Captain, go ahead, I'm waiting.

I'd love to hear you lie.

Have you nothing to say to me?

Nothing, madam, that you would believe.

Goodbye, Captain.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

'Ladies and gentlemen.'

'I wish to correct a misunderstanding.'

'The announcement of Madam's engagement'

'has been made without Madam's knowledge or consent.'

'I am speaking for Madam Sonia'

'when I say that Madam has never entertained'

'the slightest thought of such an engagement.'

Madam, there is nothing left to be said.

I shall make no attempt to explain.

I know it's all over.

There's only one thing I want to say before I go.

I loved you... Fifi.

Now, what do you expect me to do?

Fall in your arms?

Marshovia has elected the right man.

You're brilliant, Captain.

Too brilliant.

Sorry, Captain.

In the name of His Majesty

you're under arrest.

You leave for Marshovia immediately.

Well, gentlemen, shall we dance?

- Oh, please, madam. - Oh.

♪ Open the gates for a moment ♪

♪ For gay time is in Paris and it's play time ♪

♪ Every man with a man of sincerity ♪

♪ And he tells you he loves you hysterically ♪

♪ What a pretty thing to see ♪

♪ Paris in the spring ♪

♪ What a pretty thing to see ♪

♪ Paris in the spring ♪♪

Trial opens today.

Captain Danilo and trial.

Widow withdraws money from country.

King denies heart attack. King denies heart attack.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. King denies heart attack.

'Widows withdraws money from country.'

Keep the change.

Thank you, sir.

What are we going to do?

If the widow doesn't change her mind

we can close up the country.

Oh, Dolores, Dolores.

Looks like exile to me.

- Revolution? - No, Your Majesty.

The cannon just announced the opening of the trial.

Thank you, Gabrilovich.

In the name of His Majesty I herewith open the trial

of the State of Marshovia versus Captain Danilo.

Would you be good enough to remove all the livestock from the court room?

Bring in the prisoner.

Bring in the witnesses and exhibits.

In the name of the state, I accuse Captain Danilo

of high treason.

Failing his duty.

'The state is going to prove'

'that this man not only is'

but always was a menace to Marshovia.

With no respect for the sanctity of a home.

Not even stopping at garden walls!

Exhibit two, please.

Now, generals of the jury.

I will prove with this exhibit...

Your honor, I object.

I object having this witness called an exhibit.

- She's an exhibit. - She's a witness.

- She is not! - She is!

Objection sustained.

From now on, the prosecution will refer to exhibit number two

as witness number one.

Your Honor, when I read the charges against Count Danilo

I realized this case concerned me.

So I came here from Paris.

May I be permitted to testify?

'The court appreciates your patriotism, Madam.'

Please, Madam.

Madam, will you tell the generals of the jury

in your own charming way

everything you know about this case?

As I understand it

you are charging the defendant for neglecting his duty

and being a traitor to his country.

Your honor, you are accusing an innocent man.

He did everything in his power be true to Marshovia..

...and betray me.

Don't put him in jail.

Give him a medal, a monument.

Set him up as an example.

A Marshovian patriot who stopped at nothing.

He did do his duty.

He used every stratagem, every trick.

He lied, he deceived me.

He played with emotions, romance..

He was willing to break a woman's heart..

...just as he was instructed.

Your honor, may I be permitted to cross-examine the witness?

Granted.

Witness is yours.

So I lied to you?

Yes.

I was playing a game?

Nothing else.

When I danced with you, I was thinking only of your millions?

And when you took me in your arms..

- I was following instructions? - Yes.

And when I kissed you?

That's was the biggest lie of all.

That's all I want to know.

I'm guilty.

Guilty of treason, failing in duty.

Of everything you want.

But most of all

I'm guilty of being a fool.

For once in my life, I lost both

my heart and my head.

Therefore, I should be punished without mercy.

Let my fate be a warning to every man.

Any man who can dance through life

with hundreds of women

and is willing to walk through life with one

should be hanged.

The widow.

What's the matter with the widow?

Something must have happened to the widow.

What? What? What?

She wants to go to jail to visit Captain Danilo.

- I think.. - Quiet!

Yocheskiv, Raznikov.

'Yes, Your Majesty.'

- My horse. - 'Yes, Your Majesty.'

Are you a friend of the captain, madam?

Not exactly.

- A relative? - No.

But you knew him before, didn't you?

Oh, yes.

Well, you wouldn't recognize him now.

He's a changed man.

Did you hear the story about the warden's daughter?

No.

Well, last night the warden's daughter

brought his supper personally to his cell.

- And what happened? - Nothing.

I tell you, he's a changed man.

But here we are.

But, he isn't here.

It looks that way.

Well, don't worry about it. He always comes back.

Just make yourself at home.

Danilo.

He's not here.

- When do you expect him back? - I don't know.

Well, anyhow, tell him there's a big party going on

in the women's ward.

I-I'm sorry.

I was chased by a mouse.

From your estate all the way here to the prison?

What a mouse.

- You don't think I came here... - To see me? No.

Yes, I came to see you and deliver to you one message.

Tonight, there's a party going on in women's ward. Goodbye.

Your Majesty, not even Napoleon could have thought of this.

Thank you.

The plan can't fail.

They can't get out, that's what they're in for.

Now, put ourselves in their place.

We both had a quarrel and now we're locked in.

At first, we don't talk at all.

Then I'll tell you what I think of you.

And then you tell me what you think of me.

Oh, no, Your Majesty, no.

- I wouldn't dare. - That's right.

Well anyhow, we're in the cell.

We can't quarrel all night, and as time passes

I begin to realize that after all, you are a woman.

And above all..

I begin to realize that you are a man.

Right, and still more

you are a gorgeous woman.

And as for me..

You're wonderful, Your Majesty.

Oh, thank you.

That's Marshovia.

Prisoners go to party a minute, and people can't get out.

- Oh, you're not so innocent. - What?

- You did the whole thing. - Did what?

You bribed the jailer to lock you here with me.

I have to apologize.

You didn't bribe the jailer.

- It's a conspiracy. - Against both of us.

They want us to fall for each other.

We are trapped.

Oh. Oh, this is terrible.

What are we doing to do?

Oh, now, darling..

I beg your pardon. Let's calm down.

Let's keep cool.

I have it.

Let's fool them.

Let's not fall for each other.

- That should be easy. - Oh, very.

Why should two people who hate each other..

- Love each other? - Right.

Well, then. Let's not do it.

We won't.

Let's drink to that.

May our hearts remain as cold as the champagne.

Could be a little bit cooler.

Oh, please.

Any man who can dance through life with hundreds of women..

And is willing to walk through life with one

should be... married.

Captain Danilo, do you take..

Yes, certainly.

Of course.