Original subtitles

I need to fire seven people.

These are people, okay,

that we have worked with for 15 years.

Stop thinking. Just do it.

You need me to come up there and hold your hand?

Gordon asked me out.

I'm really sorry, but if anybody doesn't know this guy, it's you.

All right, well, I'm gonna make my own decisions.

Alex is the volunteer coordinator here.

Oh, hi.

Would you please stop talking to me like I'm an idiot?

I don't think you're an idiot.

You were a little late today.

Well, you should dock my pay.

Will you marry me?

We're getting married!

Jasmine, welcome to Crazytown.

Okay, just stop that, please?

It's just so genius.

Whoever came up with this is a genius.

Huh? No? Nobody? Nothing?

Bob's walking in.

Showtime.

- Here we go. - You guys, seriously,

how big a deal can this testing thing be at this point?

Well, if we tank, the shoe is history.

You're kidding me? After we spent three months developing this,

and then eight people sitting in a room are going to tell us...

The shoe business is hell, Sarah.

Bob. Hey.

Hey, Bob.

Well, I've done a preliminary tabulation

and, you know you have to keep in mind...

Bob, please, just...

Well, it's not good.

Because it's so great?

I'm afraid not.

The beeping gave the parents a massive headache.

Oh, well, that's an easy fix.

It doesn't have to beep. It can chirp. It can whistle.

Bottom line? DOA.

Do over again?

I'm really sorry.

Clear!

This is... I like this. This is cool.

Yeah, it's got new carpet.

Yeah, this is cute.

It's actually kind of perfect for what we need.

Jabbar can walk to school. Mmm-hmm.

It's close to everything. Mmm-hmm.

And, you know, how cool is it that the neighbors

have twin 5-year-old boys?

I mean... There was...

They were twins, right?

Yeah, they were. Okay, I thought I was seeing...

Double? ...double.

It's fate.

I mean. Yeah?

It's kind of fate.

It's kind of an expensive fate.

I know. I know it's a stretch.

It's just, you know, um...

I still have loan payments on my equipment

and then I have fees for my boat.

The boat?

Yeah, my boat. My vessel.

You know, I have dock fees and maintenance costs.

You know, you got to keep the barnacles off.

Yeah, well, are you planning on keeping the boat?

Well...

Well, I mean, 'cause we're moving in together.

Why would you need the boat?

Yeah, I guess that's a good point.

I mean, Jabbar loves it,

but I guess it is silly to keep both.

Yeah.

We're selling the boat!

Son, I don't want to belabor the point,

but the clicker shoe thing is very important to your sister.

Dad, I don't want to talk about it.

Hey, Max, we can't have that many bags of chips, okay.

One for everyone.

No, we can all share one. We don't need four.

Oh, come on, let the boy have his chips.

Yeah, let the boy have his chips.

Thanks a lot, Dad. You know what? All right, two.

You can have two bags of chips, that's the limit, okay?

Come on. Thank you.

How about another focus group?

Dad, focus groups cost a lot of money,

like $15,000, you know, to do it right.

We're seriously cash strapped right now.

That's the time when you go balls out, son.

Dad, it's throwing good money after bad.

There's no point in spending money developing a shoe that nobody wants.

You know, I may as well just flush the money down the toilet.

Well, what do you... What's the alternative?

Don't do anything?

Seventeen items.

Hey, I'm buying those. What are you doing?

Ten items or less. There's 17 items.

Give me a break, will you, kid?

That's seven items too many.

I'm buying those. What are you doing? Hey, hey.

Max, it's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry.

I'm in a hurry.

Will you leave it, leave it alone?

Hey, hey.

- He has more items. Dad! - Let him go, it's all right.

Dad! He has 17 items! Are you seeing that?

You know what, Max, there are some people that think

the rules don't apply to them. Let's just let him go.

Okay? Let's just let him go.

There are some people that should mind their own damn business.

All right, buddy? Just mind your own business.

Dad, Dad. What'd you say?

Now he's involved? Dad.

Yeah, I am involved.

It's okay. Hey, you know what, can you help Max?

- Go get some more chips? - More chips.

Some more chips and some more pretzels. Can you help Max?

Yeah.

Can you hurry this up, please?

Jackass. Jackass.

Excuse me?

What is your problem?

I don't have a problem.

No, you do have a problem.

Maybe you can't read. It's 10 items.

That kid of yours has a problem.

No, my son does...

You should train him better or something.

Train him better? What is that supposed to mean?

Well, I feel sorry for you, okay.

You feel sorry for me? Why?

Yeah, because you've got a burden because he's a retard!

So, I can use regular taco meat?

Okay, I think they'll like it.

Yeah.

Thanks, Suze. I will.

Oh, okay, you know what, I got to go. Bye.

We got American beer.

Ooh. Good. Yum.

How'd it go?

Did you get everything on the list?

Yeah, I think so.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

It's just that we had a problem with Max and the chips.

You know, how many he got.

Excuse me.

You want a beer?

What happened?

Nothing. Something happened.

Nothing happened. Did Max have a breakdown?

Oh, my God, he had a tantrum, didn't he?

No. I told Gaby not...

We've been working on this...

Kristina, nothing happened. I said nothing happened.

Okay. Don't snap at me. I just asked.

I'm going to take a shower.

I just mean there's so much that's going on all the time.

Like every minute I spend here is worth more than anything I've spent.

I don't know. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I mean, it's pretty cool, I guess.

All right, well, you don't need to be so modest.

It's amazing actually.

The big moving day is tomorrow and it's something special.

The look on those kids' faces when they walk through the door for the first time.

Yeah.

Pretty much the best part of the job.

I bet. Hands down.

Well, you know, tomorrow if you're not doing anything after school,

if you're not busy, you should come by.

I would love to.

I would really love to. I just, uh...

I have to go to a pep rally. A pep rally?

Yeah. I'm the President of the Junior Class. Wow.

So I have to deal with that. Wow.

Of course you are the President. Oh, all right.

Let's not say that. It's just. I don't know, we're, um...

We're renaming the school mascots from the Rough Riders,

'cause it's archaic, and that's it. It's not important.

Oh, okay. That's too bad. I would love for you to see it.

Me too. Can you just take that box out before you leave?

Okay.

Is this one kitchen, too?

Hey, buddy, we're getting close.

I'm gonna get the liquids, Daddy.

You're gonna get the liquids? Yep.

Will you get me one of the orange liquids? Oh, yes.

I can't remember, do you like your dogs burnt,

very burnt, or completely black?

Mmm, burnt.

Burnt. Okay, well, then we are ready to eat now.

Okay.

One plain hotdog. There you go.

Cheers. Cheers.

Well,

this might be our last time eating hotdogs

on the back of the frigate.

Why?

Well, 'cause we're getting that great new apartment

and we're probably going to have to sell the boat.

Yeah, I feel the same way.

Can we keep the boat, too?

Well,

that'd be kind of excessive, I think.

Why?

Well,

you know we have to pay for the new place,

and, you know, you can't have everything.

But you're a boat guy.

You think I'm a boat guy?

Ever since I met you, you lived here.

This is your boat.

You're a boat guy, and this is a house boat.

See?

That's pretty good logic.

This boat is you.

Hey.

Hey. Sorry.

A great idea, ahead of its time.

Oh, no. That's okay. You don't... You don't have to cheer me up.

Listen, you, Adam and I have to quietly slip away

for the afternoon. What for?

Because we have a tradition here.

Every time we test a shoe, I rent a limo fully stocked

and if the shoe tests well, we go out and celebrate.

And if the shoe fails,

then we go out and drink ourselves into a business-y stupor.

Let's go.

My brother, Adam, does that?

Every time.

And since the clicker shoe was your brain child,

this year you will come with. Come on, let's go.

Now? Yeah.

It's like 3:30.

I'm the boss. Let's go. All right.

Yeah, well, don't blow your brains out just yet.

Uh, hang on a second, Terry.

Terry from manufacturing? Yep.

Tell him you got to go. Put on your drinking shoes, man.

Uh, not this time, Gordon.

Aw.

Terry, I'm going to have to call you back.

Braverman, please, come on.

Yeah, come on, Braverman.

Look, guys, I seriously... I just want to stay here and mourn in my own

swamped with work kind of way. It's tradition.

I know it's a tradition. I've been a part of the tradition.

But this year, I want to stay here and get some things done.

Really? I've got this work to go, and I want to get it done.

- You sure? - Yep.

He's gonna stay here. Yep.

Okay. Okay.

Suit yourself. All right.

Okay. But, I'm gonna... You know.

You know, right? I mean... Yeah, great.

Have fun. Go for it. You have fun. You.

Yeah, you, too. Have fun. Have fun celebrating.

Excuse me, Mister President.

I have a few questions for you, like where do you think you're going?

Um...

I'm leaving.

What do you mean? You're ditching?

All right, well, yeah, I am.

You can't leave me in there. This is your big deal. I'm in there for you.

Then don't stay. It's not important. I just...

I'm gonna go. Wait a second.

What?

Well, then I'm gonna come with you.

Look, well, no. I mean,

I'm going to help a homeless family move

if you want to do that, so...

That doesn't sound fun.

Right. Okay, I'll see you.

Well, wait, you could just like leave me at a coffee shop

and then we could meet up.

I don't know. Amber, I... Um...

I might be getting like a different way home. I don't know.

What? That doesn't even make sense.

Uh... Why are you acting so strange?

No, I'm not... I'm not acting strange. I just...

You have a crush on one of the homeless guys?

No.

Oh! No, that's not it.

You have a crush on a homeless guy!

I'm leaving.

Okay, can't wait to tell the family about this.

Be safe. You look good!

And clean! He's going to like that!

Thank you so much.

You deserve it, bro. I appreciate it.

No problem, man.

- You are such a blessing. - Thank you.

Thank you. Enjoy it.

What's up? Hey.

What happened to the pep rally?

Well, uh, I don't know.

It got postponed. Great.

Yeah. Great. Sure. Am I like interrupting? No.

Are you guys gonna have dinner or something?

No, not at all. We're just finishing moving them in.

- Alex! - What's happening?

Hey! What's up, my man? How are you doing, brother?

You're getting big on me. We made you this.

Really? Ah, it's a lanyard. It's for my keys, right?

Mmm-hmm.

Aww, purple's my favorite color.

I'm going to put it on. You got to put it on me.

It's nice, isn't it?

It is, it is. Thank you, guys.

Go play. Go ahead.

- Come on. - Those guys are awesome.

Yeah, cool.

Well, so, since you're here, and we're not finished working yet,

do you mind if...

What are we doing? Oh, I was just...

I figured you want to help.

Right. Obviously.

Mmm-hmm. Right.

Obviously that's why I came. Okay.

Well, I can't even imagine Adam reacting that way.

I mean, I just kept going on and on about that clicker shoe thing, you know.

I don't know. Maybe I upset him or something.

Oh, no, it would take a whole lot more than that

to make Adam punch someone.

Adam doesn't punch people.

You punch people.

You know,

he's under a lot of pressure at work. He's...

He's got Max to deal with, you know.

Yeah, well then you need to talk to him.

I tried talking to him. He didn't want to talk about it.

He didn't want to hear what I had to say.

Oh.

Try again.

What's up, champ?

Oh, hello. You tired?

Um...

No. You sure?

Yeah. I saw you trying to move that couch by yourself.

All right. Well, please don't make fun of me.

No, I was just thinking this day has been really, really great.

Really?

Like this is the day that this family's life

changed, right?

I just feel like it meant something.

And I don't want to spend like

any more time worrying about things that don't matter.

Like school stuff, like dances and grades.

It's meaningless.

What you're doing is not meaningless.

No, I know.

I know that, obviously, it's just...

Listen, you have a bright future.

You're going to be somebody's boss one day.

Student government, come on. Right.

Oh. All right?

Yeah, of course.

I'm pretty sure that you got straight A's in school.

Yeah, wow, great. I'm super predictable, straight A's.

I got a B in my sixth grade math and science class.

Ooh, you're just dangerous, huh? Well, please.

Living life on the edge.

Why do you want me to tell you things so you can like make fun of me?

It's not fair. No, because

you remember the first time that you got a B,

your one and only B.

I know. That's what I mean.

Why?

All right, well, I want you to take this, all right?

And remember today

because today matters.

It does. I know.

You did a lot of good work. I know.

And you helped out. I know.

You moved couches. I know. I just mean

you put a lanyard around my neck.

All right.

That's not a good idea.

Okay. Don't... I don't want you...

No, no, no. It's okay.

Um... I'm...

I'm sure she's fine, all right.

- How do you know that? - I don't know that.

I assume it's... I can't get a hold of her.

Look, she's here right now. Haddie! Haddie!

Hey, Haddie!

Haddie? Haddie, your mother's been worried sick about you.

That's an understatement. Where have you been? I'm sorry. I apologize.

You're sorry? Yes.

Haddie. What?

I've called you three times, where were you?

I was helping the Rodriguez family move.

I don't know who they are.

Well, they're the homeless family that Grandma introduced me to.

You helped them move into a new home?

Yeah, I did. That's great.

Thank you.

I don't care where you were,

you need to call me and tell me, okay?

I was worried sick.

Okay.

You're right. You're absolutely right.

All right? Hey, look, Haddie, it's not a big deal,

you know, just... Just give her a call.

Okay. All right, I'll see you later, hon.

You're gonna...

I got to go to Crosby's boat thing.

The last time I was in a limo was 11th grade

and Danny Zelkind had saved up his grocery delivery money

for a year to get a limo to take me to junior prom.

And we never even went to the dance. We just drove and drove.

We drove all the way to Napa. We opened up the roof

and we looked at the stars.

That's it? That's it.

How far did he get?

What?

Well, you know, it was prom night, after all.

He got to second base as I remember.

The guy delivered groceries for a year

and rented a limo for you and all he got was second base?

I mean... Um, hello,

he got to second base with, you know.

You know. I mean, come on. Sarah Braverman.

Oh, God. Seriously.

Listen, Sarah,

there's something I want to show you.

The Retractable Golf Shoe?

That's right. Spikes retract so you can finish a round of golf

and they convert right into a walking shoe.

There's the Flipperoo.

It's a walking shoe that converts to a flip-flop.

Did any of these get made?

Not exactly.

I know why you're showing me this.

Why is that?

You're showing me all your failures

so that I don't feel bad about mine.

You're very sweet.

Sarah,

what are we doing?

I don't know.

What would Danny Zelkind do?

Hmm?

Sydney, come help me with my drum set.

Oh, boy.

You just pop it right on top.

Damn, Joel, you're good.

It's pretty advanced.

Hey, uh, Jasmine, I'd be remiss in my duty

as the last to marry a Braverman,

if I didn't tell you something.

What? It's not too late.

Hmm? You can still save yourself.

You think you're marrying one,

but you're actually marrying the whole gang.

So... Yeah, I kind of sensed that.

Yeah. And they're all crazy.

So what do you do?

No, there's nothing you can do.

It's infectious. Bravermantitus.

It slowly eats away at your brain

until you become exactly like them.

What, white?

White. It's that strong?

It's that strong.

Okay.

So, Jasmine thinks I should sell the boat.

Why wouldn't you sell the boat?

Well, for one, I have a history

of selling things and then regretting it, like my '68 Telecaster.

I sold it, and a year later it tripled in value.

Well, the boat's not going to triple in value. The boat's going to sink.

Yeah, well, it's not just about the money, you know.

I had some of my seminal moments

on that boat.

Are we talking about your sex life now?

No, not just that, you know.

I came of age on there.

I've been in a relationship with that boat

for a long time.

And Jabbar likes it.

Jabbar's six.

Well, the boat's part of me. I'm a boat guy.

And he agrees.

Okay.

Cros.

Sell the boat.

You're a grownup.

Okay, let's take a break.

Dad, come on. We've got so much crap to pack.

I don't have time for a break. I said

let's take a break.

I want to talk to you about what happened the other night.

Well, I don't want to talk about what happened.

I know you don't want to talk about what happened. I know it's...

It's hard to talk about your feelings.

Who are you?

I'm not sure.

Dad, come on. That guy was a jackass, all right?

I mean he said things he shouldn't have and, you know,

paid the price. I think anybody would have punched that guy.

Yeah.

Adam. What?

Ever since

you were a little boy,

you've always managed

to be in control.

It astounded me.

And I...

I, so,

admired you for that,

and I still do.

I guess somebody had to be in control, right?

And I was just trying to balance you out, you know,

'cause you were just explosive all the time.

Now, you'd even yell at a stranger.

Remember that waitress who spilled soup in your lap, you know.

Or when Crosby broke those black chess pieces made out of onyx, you know,

you were so enraged about.

Or when Sarah and Seth came home stoned at 3:00a. M, from that concert.

I mean, you went berserk on that guy.

I was just trying not to be like you, so,

the fact that you admire that is pretty funny.

But now, I'm the angry guy, you know.

And I'm angry at everything. I'm... I'm angry that

I had to fire people at work, because of the economy,

because I work for a jackass

who's been promising me for 15 years

that he's going to give me part ownership of the company,

and he never will.

I'm pissed off that I have to hold Sarah's hand,

that she can't go and find a job on her own.

You know, I'm... I'm pissed off I can't do more for my son.

I'm pissed off that he has Asperger's.

I'm pissed off that you admire me

for being in control,

because I can't do anything about it.

I can't do anything about any of it.

I can't save those people's jobs.

I can't make my kid not have Asperger's.

I can't keep some asshole

from calling him a retard in a supermarket.

So, what good does it do me to control my feelings?

And honestly, it felt good when I hit that guy.

It felt good not to be in control.

I'm just angry all the time.

And I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

You know, I can't go around punching people in supermarkets.

I got your back, Adam.

Thanks, Pop.

I'm going to pack some stuff up.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We have to go. Gordon, get up. Get up.

I'm sorry. We have to go. We have to go right now.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. What time is it? Oh, my God.

I have to get home. I didn't call.

They're going to know that I didn't come home. I... I... It's 4:30.

Okay. It's 4:30. Oh, my God.

Amber.

Amber, wake up.

What? Seriously, get up. Mom's not home.

What? I don't know.

Mom's not home. What time is it?

Exactly. It's light outside.

Did you call her?

Yes, I called her and she won't call me back, and I...

Did you check the guest house?

Yeah, I checked the guest house.

She's not there. Like, she's not here.

Okay, all right. I guess we should wake up Nana and Pop.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Thanks a lot.

Okay. Okay.

It was fun. Okay.

Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Bye. Bye.

All right, let's go.

Okay.

Oh, you're up. Nice.

God.

Well, lucky me.

I thought I was going to have to make my own coffee.

Good morning. How is everybody?

Here she is.

What are you doing? Are you trying to fool us?

Are you 12 years old?

It's 6:30 in the morning, Sarah.

Where the hell you been?

You're not going to believe this, but it was for work.

What? And then it got stuck.

No. No, it wasn't, Mom.

Sorry, honey. I'm... I'm really sorry. I...

Mom, next time you're going to be at work

until 6:00 in the morning,

do you think you could at least send us a text message or a call?

I didn't want to call and worry everybody.

All right, Mom, whatever. I'm getting ready for school.

You know, he came in and he woke me up and he was hysterical.

I'm really sorry. I... I absolutely did the wrong thing.

Sorry.

Well, you're home now, so...

I can't believe Joel didn't build this one.

He did build all the others.

Well, don't defend him.

Are you jealous?

Of Julia's wife? No, I'm not too jealous.

Hey. What?

That's not very nice.

Well, I'm sorry. I'm just a little bit

frustrated with my brother and sisters

and you for not taking this selling the boat thing seriously.

Well, what are we supposed to be doing?

How are we not taking it seriously?

You're supposed to acknowledge it, you know.

Everyone's just taking it for granted that I'm going to sell the boat.

And maybe I won't or maybe I will. I don't know.

But it's a big deal.

I wish everyone would treat it like that.

Look, someday, somehow, somebody is going to honor the boat.

And that's all I'm saying.

Honor the boat.

I need a hammer.

Listen, um, this tradition, you know, of, um...

That Gordon has, it kind of turned into something

kind of personal and...

Yeah, it sounds like you were out kind of late.

How do you know? 'Cause I got a call from Mom and Dad.

They called you? Yeah.

Oh, God. They did? Yeah.

When?

This morning, they were looking for you.

Okay, that's a whole other story.

Listen, it really did start out as work.

Sarah, I don't want to talk about it. It's over.

What's done is done, okay.

What do you mean, "What's done is done"?

Sarah, I had to fire seven people here.

I know. So, the fact that you and Gordon

chose to go out and get hammered in the middle of the day.

So, that's why I wish that my idea had worked, which I still think it could,

and I still don't understand why...

Whoa. What's going on here?

You think I don't care about those people's jobs? I do.

What's this? Hi.

Hey. What's happening?

Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing, my ass. You guys are fighting.

Nope. No, no, carry on. I like this.

What's up, Crosby? What do you want? What's going on?

Um...

I'm selling the houseboat.

- Oh. - Yeah?

Well, I thought maybe we could all get together

and have kind of like a farewell to the... To the boat.

Farewell to the boat party?

Yeah, a farewell to the boat, okay.

Okay. All right. When is this happening?

That happens to be where I became an adult.

It's the only place I've ever called home

other than Mom and Dad's.

Okay, well, when's the farewell party for the boat?

Immediately. Tonight.

Oh, God. Oh! I got in trouble last night.

Crosby, obviously, I need more notice than the day of.

I can't. I can't.

What are you talking... You need notice...

You're not the President.

I mean, do you think Neil Armstrong gave notice

when he made a small step for man,

and a giant leap for mankind?

Well, you know, I'm pretty sure

that they planned on that for well over a decade. So...

I think some people had noticed, like his wife.

You get what I'm saying.

Listen, Crosby's going to make a gigantic leap

and I thought maybe you guys would want to be there.

Oh, if Crosby's about to make a giant leap.

Then I want to be there for sure.

Yeah, if Crosby is, then I'm going to do my best to be there.

Crosby should know that Sarah's going to try to be there.

Okay, you guys were in a fight

and now you're trying to bring me into it.

But I'm not really interested in it.

I want to try to be there.

Hey. Stop. Okay.

- But I could amuse you. - Crosby.

I'll see what I can do, Cros.

Get back to work. Okay.

Thank you.

Hey, uh, can I talk to you for a second?

Are you busy, or...

Yeah, sure. Come in.

Okay. Um...

I just wanted to apologize for yesterday

and say that I hope it doesn't interfere with,

you know, what we've been doing here,

'cause I want to keep doing it.

I'm an alcoholic.

I've been in recovery for five months.

And I'm telling you this

because relationships,

romantic relationships, just aren't good for me right now.

Yeah. Okay.

I don't want you to take this the wrong either,

because I like you.

And it's not that you're not attractive, because you are.

You're really amazing actually.

It's just I'm not in a place

to do anything about those feelings right now.

Okay.

You understand, like...

Uh...

Is that why you dropped out of school, 'cause of drinking?

It's one of the reasons. Yeah.

All right. And you go to meetings?

Meetings, I have a sponsor, work the program.

The whole nine.

It's a lot.

Yeah.

Well, I can't wait to write about this in my diary.

I get a journal log. I feel special.

Yeah. Yeah. Mmm-hmm.

"Dear Diary, I talked to a drop-out alcoholic."

Sorry. "He was great. He was so nice."

Really? I had no idea.

Normal guy?

Yeah. Absolutely.

Okay. Well, I'm just finishing up work if you...

Yeah, all right, I'll see you later.

Okay.

Well, I'm just saying...

Are you not going to rename it?

This has been a very successful mare.

Yeah.

Well, there was that one time you were on tour in Australia?

Uh-huh. And it hit me.

Mom and Dad had Sydney,

and Joel and I had dinner reservations,

and we never made it to the dinner reservations.

We just... Came here?

We just came here.

Wait, you used my boudoir.

We used it all up.

Really? You and Joel?

You did? Yes, is it that surprising?

Um, the Joel part, yeah.

I can't believe that you're selling it

before I got a chance to do something gross here.

How about you, Adam?

Did you ever use my home as a cheap hourly motel?

No, don't be ridiculous.

Of course I have.

What?

No, you haven't. Really.

When? Who?

A couple of times Kristina and I went into the city.

Haddie had a babysitter and we...

What?

Checked to see if the love boat was unoccupied.

Oh, my God!

Little did I know I was living on a floating brothel.

Everything's better in the salt air.

I got to say, I'm kind of scared.

About selling the boat?

No, about moving in with Jasmine and Jabbar?

Of marriage?

Of screwing the whole thing up.

You know what, it's a big change.

It's normal that you feel scared.

I'd be worried if you didn't feel that way.

Yeah, well, I have screwed up

every relationship I've ever had, so...

Well, this one's different.

Mmm-hmm.

Because of Jabbar?

Yep. Mmm-hmm.

And because you're different.

And you guys are going to help me

stay on the straight and narrow?

Mmm... Okay.

I've got my eye on you, buddy.

I'll help you.

Okay then.

Please join me on the back of the boat.

Oh, my goodness!

Come on, you think that Neil Armstrong wasn't scared

when he took that first step to the moon?

I knew you loved that metaphor.

Okay.

- Do it. - Three, two, one.

One small step for this bachelor.

One giant leap for...

Family.

You're going to be all right.

Good work.

It's like going to ruin my whole.

Hi. I'm home.

Don't let these fall off the thing, okay?

I'm on time.

I only had one beer.

Too soon?

You guys, I really definitely made a mistake

and I'm sorry again.

Can we just move on?

I don't know, Mom.

I think we just don't want to talk right now.

All right. Carry on.

Tough room.

Could I get just one small break?

Seriously. Did I ever torture you like that?

Well, no,

because I never screwed up.

Oh, the world's only perfect mother.

I remember you.

So what's the story with this guy, Gordon?

I don't know. He's really great.

He's... You know, he runs this company.

He travels. He's funny.

He's smart. He...

He likes me, Mom.

He's sweet.

Of course he's sweet,

'cause that's what you deserve.

Yeah.

They just don't get it, though, huh?

Why don't they understand?

'Cause they're brats. That's all.

They are really rotten little brats.

I just love my rotten little brats.

Of course you do.

Hey.

Hey.

How'd it go?

Oh, it was fine.

It was

typical Crosby, a lot of drinks and no food.

Yep.

I punched a guy the other day.

What?

It was at the supermarket. I hit a guy.

We were standing in the express line

and Max got upset

because, you know, he counted that the guy had 17 items instead of 10.

And some words were exchanged.

He called Max a retard and I hit him.

Wait a minute.

He called Max a retard.

Yeah.

I'm glad you hit him.

Is the guy okay?

He'll live.

Why didn't you tell me this?

I was embarrassed.

Honey, you don't have to be embarrassed with me.

I'm your wife, you know.

I don't know what's going on, Kristina.

I'm just... I'm angry all the time.

And I'm angry for being angry.

But I am under all this stress

and I know that's not an excuse, but...

You know what the scary thing is?

Hmm?

It felt great.

It felt really great.

It's like a little bit ofjustice.

You know, maybe I'm a little more like my dad than I want to admit.

Oh, no. No, no, no, you're not like your dad.

Honey, you are nothing like your dad. Okay?

I just...

I want you to be able to tell me everything, okay?

Always. Even if it's not pretty and...

Okay, Sluggo?

You hit him. I know.

I'm not laughing, but it's just...

Babe, we have to find some ways

for you to get rid of this stress.

It's not good.

Maybe I should take up racquetball, you know.

Mmm-mmm.

Oh, you got something in mind?

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm.

I just want you to promise me

that you won't say that

you're turning into or you're like...

What, my dad? Yeah, it just...

I don't know.

"Zeek Braverman, how're you doing?"

Oh! Oh, no. See, that's what I'm saying.

"Kristina, have I ever told you

"about R and R in Bangkok?"

No, that is freaky and it's not sexy.

I'm not listening to you.

"I'll tell you about stress and tension." Honey.

"I've been out on the front lines."

Stop it. Okay?

What are you doing? Hey.

I love you.

I love you.

Hey, what are you doing here?

I just want to tell you that I know

how much this boat means to you.

And I want to honor that.

Pop!

And I want to send it off the right way.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.