All language subtitles for Parenthood.2010.S01E11.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Well, look, I know he was
having some financial trouble.

You do?
Yeah.

He went completely
upside down

on this real estate
investment. SARAH: What?

There's a lot of lying been
going on for a lot of years.

Not just about money.
There was a woman.

Hey, Sonny.
Hey.

Well, are you gonna
let me in or what?

I don't think that this
whole thing is working.

I have to go.

We broke up.

STEVE: I've been thinking about
this whole thing with Haddie.

What I'm feeling now

isn't what I was
feeling with her.

Thanks.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God, Steve.
Get up. Get up.

Put your clothes on.

Oh, my God. I don't
understand. What's wrong?

Get up. If you tell anybody
about this, I will kill you.

Do you understand?
I will kill you.

What is wrong? What
do you think is wrong?

You're Haddie's boyfriend.

I'm not Haddie's boyfriend.
She dumped me.

It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.

I'm her cousin. I can't
believe I did this.

Stop, it's okay.
No, it's not okay.

Can't we just talk about this?
No, we cannot talk about it.

We can't talk
about anything

because there's
no "we," okay?

Last night, I know
you felt it, too.

It doesn't matter. I can't
do this. This was a mistake.

I can't... I can't do this with you.

Amber.

(SIGHS)

KRISTINA: Don't move your
glass. It's not my fault you...

Put that away for me.

KRISTINA: See, you move
your hand and...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Mom!

ADAM: Yeah, out of
the way.

Morning, Grandpa.

Excuse me.

Dad.
Morning, Dad.

Adam. Coffee.

Do you want some food?
ADAM: Did you sleep all right?

There was this chirping
in my head all night.

Oh, that. Those
were my crickets.

Really?
Yep.

That's an
interesting pet.

Did you just put
the milk away?

Yeah.
HADDIE: Okay.

Oh, man. What the heck
is this stuff?

It's hazelnut.
Hazelnut?

KRISTINA: Yeah, it's good.

Jeez. ADAM: What? You
don't like hazelnut?

I can get you something else.
ZEEK: No, it's all right.

ADAM: So,
where are you going?

I'm going to go to the corner. I'm
going to get some coffee and some donuts.

Donuts?
I want donuts!

No. No. Max, you can't have donuts.

MAX: He gets to have
donuts and I don't?

Max.
MAX: That's not fair.

Here, have some fruit.
Because I get donuts

if he gets to have donuts.
Max, shut up.

HADDIE: We heard you say that.
We heard you.

MAX: Why does he get donuts?
I don't get donuts!

So, Grandma and Grandpa
had a fight,

you know, like people do.
It's not a big deal.

Well, like what
kind of fight?

(SIGHS) I don't know, honey,
but Grandpa's gonna stay

with Uncle Adam
for a couple days.

What happened?
I don't understand.

I don't know. Let's just be
extra, super nice to Grandma, okay?

Do you want a real done one
or a not done one?

I... Just choose.
I don't care.

Here, take one of each.
Hi, honey, you're home early.

Yeah, well, you know, Kayla was
snoring. So, I couldn't sleep.

SARAH: Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.

Listen, Grandma
and Grandpa had a fight...

Okay, we'll talk later,
okay? Hey, sweetie.

Hey, Mom, look.
I made pancakes.

Yeah, they're really
good actually.

I can't.
I have painting class.

Oh.

But, you know what?

You know how I've been talking about
turning the attic into my art studio?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah. Yeah.
I'm finally going to do it.

Now? Yeah. And there's
a lot of junk up there.

Junk? Mom, all of our
childhood stuff is up there.

Yeah, well, you're going to have to
go through it and see what you want.

And ask your brothers and your
sister if they'll go through it, too.

Anything that's important to
them, they should take home,

'cause whatever's left I'm gonna,
you know, either give away or burn.

Burn? Mom!

(SIGHS) My Dad is so far
underwater on this thing.

Yeah, I was
looking at those.

It's just...
It's quite a hole.

How are you doing
with your parents?

Oh, they'll be fine.

It's just, you know, the
whole thing started because

he went upside-down
on a bad investment,

which a lot of people do, I might add.

All I have to do is
help him dig his way out,

and he will patch things
up with Mom in no time.

Babe, I looked at the value
of the land and the buildings.

(STUTTERS) I don't know
how you dig him out of that.

Well,

that's actually what
I need to talk to you about.

I was thinking
of calling Timm.

Oh. I know Timm's not
your favorite person.

Not even close.

But he knows real estate.

Well, I know real estate,
Julia, I was a contractor.

No, I know. But, you know,
he's a fund manager.

He has a ton of
connections. This is his job.

Right. Timm.

Timmmmm.

Okay, so he has
two M's in his name.

Let's keep it in
perspective here.

I ammmm.

Joel. The guy tried
to steal you from me.

I mean, what do you want?

It's for my dad.

Okay.

I'll do it for himmmm.

Shut up.

Not for Timmmmm.

(CHUCKLES) Shut up.
Don't.

Relax. It's not the
Large Supercollider.

I don't think
you realize this,

but I had the perfect system. Mmm?

Every other weekend, I would drop my
dirty clothes off at Mom and Dad's,

then have tea with her,
watch the game with him,

and then magically,
at the end of all that,

my clothes would be
folded and clean.

And how long
did this go on for?

Fourteen years.

But now that they're in this
fight, I can't even stop by there

'cause it's too stressful.
Mmm.

So, perfect system.
(EXCLAIMS)

That's a real tragedy.

Right? It's a bummer.

Okay, so, you know about
separating the colors, right?

Well, clearly, I don't
know how to separate colors.

Oh, no, you... Why are you
trying to segregate my laundry?

(LAUGHS)

Don't freak out.

This book, this is
good news, okay.

We just have to figure out
how we can amp up production

on the summer line
as fast as we can.

All right?

Look, this... Look, the
samples for the summer line

have practically sold out at
every store we've sent them to.

So, we can make up
a lot of lost money here.

All right, well, just... Look,
get those guys on it, okay?

You know what? I'm going to have
to call you back, all right. Bye.

(SARAH SNIFFLING)

You okay?

(CRYING) Sorry, I just came
to ask you a question.

And I didn't mean to...

Sarah, what's happening?
What's going on?

You want to know why Mom
was so upset last night?

Yeah. I mean, it's because Dad
didn't tell her about the investments,

the bad investments he made.

Adam, Dad cheated on Mom.

And she made me
promise not to tell,

but I just can't
handle it.

When did this happen?

I don't know, sometime before we
came back from Fresno. I don't know.

It's over now. But, you
know, that's what happened.

And that's why they're so upset. Okay.

But she made me
promise not to tell.

And now you have to
promise not to tell, okay?

All right, I promise.

God, that son of a bitch.

That son of a bitch.

I mean, how could he
do this to her? How?

I don't know, the same reason any
other guy does it to their wife.

You know, low self-esteem. Yeah.

They take those little blue
pills that make their things go.

Why can't they just be...
It's not genetic, okay,

because I would never
ever do that to you.

I didn't even think
of that. I know.

Okay, well, of course
I would never.

I hope not. No, I
know that you wouldn't.

(SIGHS) It makes me sick.
I just...

It makes me sick, honey.

This is awkward, too, because
he's in our house right now.

Yeah, I know.
But I won't say anything.

I won't act weird around
him. Yeah, we can't, okay?

I won't. I'll pretend
that everything's normal.

I can't have this confrontation
with him right now.

Are you going to say something
to Julia or Crosby or anybody?

I don't know.
I don't think so.

Oh, my God.

No, I don't know.
It's crazy.

Oh, come on.

Hey, Amber. Hi.

Can we talk
about what happened?

No.

Okay.

It sometimes gets stuck,
and then you...

Stop. You have to
stop, okay?

Please. Seriously,
leave me alone. Stop.

So, I called Timm.

Master of
the Universe, Timm?

Timmber wolf?
Ex-Timm? Timm-dog?

Yeah, Timm. And he and I
are meeting for second-lunch.

What's a second-lunch?

It's something you do when
you don't wear shorts to work.

That's sociopathic.

Thank you. Are you
guys hearing this crap?

Second-lunch, do you
believe in this second-lunch?

When Timm puts his real-estate
acumen to work on this,

we will not have a problem.
We will have a fix.

Mom and Dad will get back
together. And you're welcome.

CROSBY: And I won't have to
do my laundry anymore.

All will be right
in the world.

How is Mom?

(STUTTERS)
She's, uh, fine.

She's a little fragile.
She's all right.

Hmm. How about Dad?

I don't know.
He's himself.

You say it like
you're not sure.

But you guys are still
living together, yeah?

ADAM: Yeah.
Okay.

Anyway, listen, Mom wants everybody to
come get their stuff out of the attic. Okay?

So if there's anything
in there you want, take it.

Otherwise, she's going to throw
it out. That's what she said.

JULIA: And what is that,
a way of getting back at Dad?

What would that have to do with
Dad? What he did is unbelievable.

That's just what
she wants us to do.

Whoa, did you guys both wake up on
the wrong side of the bed this morning?

He shouldn't have lied,
okay. Okay. You're right.

He was embarrassed, okay.

Half the country is
underwater financially.

It's not like he did it
on purpose. I know. I know.

When you say "everything,"

you don't mean the piano?

What do you think, Crosby?
Everything. Everything.

Yeah, well I learned how to
play on that piano, all right?

It says, "W.M. Schaum
& Sons" on the keys.

I mean, I spent a lot of
time... I need that piano.

When did you become
so sentimental?

I bet you haven't thought
about that piano in 15 years.

I can tell you I'm
thinking about it right now.

And I don't want you guys in there
getting your hands on it before I...

JULIA: Can I ask you how you're
going to put a piano on a houseboat?

What are you, the Zoning
Commission? What do you care?

That's the least
of our worries.

All right, anyway.
What does that mean?

Nothing. Just come
get your stuff.

Adam?
What?

I will solve Dad's financial
problems, Adam. I've got this. I will.

I know you will.

Hey, Haddie.
Hey.

How was school?

It was fine.

Hey, you want a
virgin screwdriver?

No, thanks.

Haddie, sweetheart,
I know things are tough.

So, you hang
in there, all right?

Okay. Yeah.

And good for you for
resisting when that boy,

you know, was trying to get you
to have intercourse with him.

I'm so proud of you.

Yeah. Thanks, Grandpa.

You're welcome.

Hey. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's the matter?

What's wrong?
What's wrong?

Grandpa.

(SIGHS) Honey, I'm sorry.
What happened?

Nothing, okay? I'm just
going to be alone, all right?

Uh-uh. You know what? You've been
spending way too much time alone.

I'm starting to get
worried a little bit.

(SIGHS) Mom, it's fine.

No, it's not fine. Haddie,
why don't you have a...

Okay, don't gross out
at the word,

but a good old fashioned
slumber party?

You know, invite some girls
over. It'd be really fun.

We can make muddy-buddies.
No? Not fun?

I don't know.
Are you being serious?

Maybe I'll make
hanky-pankies.

Mom. We'll have fun.
We'll do the Ouija Board.

Mom! Stop.
We'll dance party.

What? No?

I don't know.
Would you really do that?

Yes. I am. I want you to do
this. I want to do this for you.

You're just...
You're so down.

Okay.
Okay?

Thanks.
I'll get you some Meechies.

Mochi.
Mochi.

Thanks.
You're welcome.

(GASPS) Oh, my God!

It's my bunny,
my cotton ball bunny.

Do you think Mom
would torch that?

She would, right?
She'd torch it in a second.

What are you doing?

I mean, how the hell did
they get this thing in here?

Uh, I don't know.

I mean, did they
assemble it in here?

I don't know.
How would you get it out?

I don't know.

Put it through the window
with a real strong rope?

The whole point of having parents
is to keep your crap in their attic.

Mom wants this space, Crosby.

I think we should be
respectful of that.

You don't think that this is about something
else and not really about the space?

Why are you being so
sentimental about this anyway?

You've not even been
up here in 10 years.

I'm not feeling sentimental.
I'm feeling pragmatic.

I'm pragmatically preserving
this important piece

of our family's history.
And you know... Mom!

No, no, no, no...
Mom!

Hey, Cros, no!

Mom! Mom!

Mom?
Hey!

CROSBY: Mom, I'm sorry, but you're going
to have to rethink this art studio idea.

Why don't you paint in the
backyard, in the great outdoors?

That's what Matisse did, and
every... You know, all the greats.

Yeah?

I'm not positive
about Matisse,

but I think I do know
that some artists did.

But, listen, I can't make a decision about
the stuff in the attic. It's too hard.

Well, I know
it's painful, goose,

but you kids are at the point
where you have your own homes.

(LAUGHS) Well... Or are working
toward having your own homes.

And I can't make
these decisions for you.

You're going to have to decide for
yourself what's important to you.

Well, it's all important.

Change is healthy.

No, it's not.
That's an urban legend.

Sometimes you just
have to make a choice.

(MUTTERING)

SARAH: There're no good
snacks in this house.

What was that supposed to mean?
"Sometimes you just have to make a choice."

Do you think she's talking
about Dad and her?

I don't know.

Well, how serious is this?

What am I, a mind reader? I don't know.

Well, you're supposed to...
You're on-site, okay?

You're our eyes and ears
to the situation.

You know, well,
I reject this, entirely.

That'll help.

I do, for real. They're gonna
work it out like they always do,

end of story.

Totally. I hope so.

(SIGHS)

I don't understand how
you had lunch with the guy

to talk about your father's
investment and never talked about it.

It's just like I said,

it got cut short for the
conference call he had with Tokyo.

Okay, so there's now
going to be another lunch?

I'm sorry. I know, I'm
really... I'm sorry.

Tokyo. What a jerk.

He's a jerk because he has a
conference call with someone in Tokyo?

Hey, I'm allowed to
not like people.

Just like you never
liked Stacy.

Well, she's not likable.

She is likable.

She had that weird...

That thing. That tall-girl
way of walking around.

I don't even know what you're
talking about. So arrogant.

All right, well, we'll
have him over for dinner.

No, no, no, no, no.

What?
No, no, no.

I'll behave as long
as he does.

You would do that?

Your dad needs help.

And he's been so kind to me over the
years, what with the eunuch jokes.

I figure, it's the
least I could do.

So, you'd do this for me?

Yes.
Yes?

Yes.
Aw.

If only he knew how much
of a eunuch you're not.

Mmm-hmm.
Let's tell him.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh, let's keep it
our little secret.

Okay, that's a good idea.

Hey, just because people don't
normally put pianos on houseboats,

doesn't mean
it's not a good idea.

All right, I'm an innovator. Hold that.

I'm like the first guy to bring
a microwave on a houseboat.

They probably said,
"That guy was crazy."

Right, but a microwave
weighs ten pounds.

And a piano weighs
six million.

Six million? I find
that hard to believe.

I think it's 600,

which is well within the
carrying capacity of this vessel.

Besides, if there's
too much weight,

I'll just start hanging out
with tinier people like you.

Like little miniature.

(LAUGHING) Tiny, little,
curly-haired, miniature people.

Why don't you
store it at Adam's?

Yeah, I can't really
do that to him.

He's already
storing my dad.

Well, if you're not
willing to give it up,

then there's only
one other option.

Which is?

(IN GRUFF VOICE) "You're gonna
need a bigger boat, mate."

(GROWLING)

Was that from Jaws?
You did Quint.

And it's Ray Scheider's
line, I think.

Actually it's
Roy Scheider's line, but...

Right, Roy Scheider's line.

Right. What I do know is
that dinner is ready.

Ah, yes! So why don't you come sit down.

Sit down, huh?

Let's do it.
All right.

Good.
Hot, hot, hot, hot.

Wow. This is really nice.
Thank you.

You're welcome.
It is nice, huh?

Really nice.
Not too much cheese.

Okay.

Yeah, it is.

Really nice.

You got four guys out there, pass
the ball. There you go. He's open.

(BEEPS)

What the hell is
going on here?

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

Oh, come on!
Wait a minute!

What the hell?
Hey, Adam!

Sit down, Grandpa.
Adam!

Adam! Come here a minute!
Your TV's all screwed up!

The cartoon thing came on.

Hey, hey, calm down.

I had the game on,
and the cartoons show up!

It's SpongeBob. It's
okay. Oh, okay, relax.

SpongeBob? Let's talk about
it in the other room, okay?

We'll explain it
to you in here.

I'll explain it to you.

Come on.

Dad. All right, look.

SpongeBob! Dad, I know you
want to watch your game,

but we have to limit
Max's TV time.

KRISTINA: Yes, and it has to be
predictable for him. It has to be.

Okay? So, the thing is set to
switch to SpongeBob exactly at 7:00.

It stays on for the length of the
show, then it turns itself off.

It's locked in. All right, and ever
since we set up the DVR like this,

we haven't had a single
fight about the TV. Not one.

Not one problem.
All right?

It's good.
It's good for Max.

(ADAM SIGHS)

Well, so, (CLEARS THROAT)
There are no exceptions?

I mean, even for
overtimes or something?

Hey, if you don't
like it here...

Hey.

Is it... You want to
play it that way?

Yeah.
Is that how...

Okay, fine then.

I'll just listen to my game on
the radio that I have upstairs

and me and the crickets,

those other insects
that are up there.

I'm going to kill him.
I'm going to kill him first.

I'm going to kill him.
I'm going to kill him.

Hi.
Hey.

So, my mom had this idea

and it's stupid, but
could also be really fun.

We're having
a slumber party.

Oh.
It could be fun.

It's me, Tisha, Kayla, Grace,
and I really want you to come.

It's tonight?
Yeah.

I have an algebra test.

No way.
You have to be there.

Seriously, when you
make fun of Steve,

it makes me feel so
much better. Please?

Okay. Yeah. Of course.
I'll totally be there.

Great. I'll see you.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

You know, I'm not sure that
I'm in the market to move in,

you know, any time soon.

I just saw the
"Open House" sign, and...

All right, well, great. So,
it's two bedrooms, one bath.

Okay.

Do you think a piano
would fit through that door?

Upright or grand?

Well, it's not Elton
John's piano. It's mine.

(CHUCKLES)
Upright.

My guess is
it would, yeah.

It would?
I think so.

Okay. And how about the
schools? Are they any good here?

Very. Yeah. Best test scores
in the East Bay, actually.

Do you have a family?

Yeah. You know,
it's complicated.

But I did recently
acquire a son.

Oh.
He's really cute.

You want to see some
pictures? Sure. Yeah.

Okay, that's him.

And then
that's his mom.

Oh, nice family.

Yeah, they are, huh?

Yeah. So, is it just
the three of you or...

(STUTTERING) Yeah.

Probably, but the piano's
a definite, though.

So, you know, the rest is
kind of a work in progress.

Okay. Well, through here
we've got a full dining room,

really cozy,
a lot of natural sunlight.

And, in here,
full kitchen,

dishwasher,
garbage disposal...

Oh, wow.

And, over here,
washer-dryer.

Ooh, you know what,
I know how to operate these.

(ZEEK BARKING)

See, Max, lookie here.

You could have
one of these, you know.

Call him Skipper. He looks
like a Skipper, doesn't he?

I think I like this tortoise.

What? Oh, jeez, I don't
know. He doesn't...

He's not very good looking. I mean...

All they do is move
their head in and out.

You might as well
get a green rock.

I like him. He's thinking.

Do you like
the name Miles?

Miles?
Yeah, Miles.

Can you help me remember exactly when
and why this pet promise was made?

Last Tuesday, his progress
report. No tantrums.

So, we promised him
that we'd get him a pet.

Right. Right, right, right.
Great.

Max wants a turtle.

MAX: Tortoise.
His name is Miles.

Excellent choice.
Excellent choice. He's cute.

Low-maintenance choice.
Huh?

Nothing.
(WHISPERS) Don't say anything.

Nothing. We like the
tortoise. He's cute.

SARAH: Hey, Mom?
CAMILLE: Yeah?

Do you want to order
something like pizza?

I just saw somebody eating
it on TV. It looked so good.

Okay, that's going to be
a little formal for pizza.

Yes, I'm going out tonight.
Didn't I tell you?

Oh, no, really? You look
great. Where are you going?

Really? You think?
For an art show opening?

My whole painting class
is going.

Oh. Okay.

I can't remember the last time
I got all dressed up to go out.

Oh, me neither.
Hey, can I come?

Seriously?
Yeah. I'd love to come.

I love art.
Girls' night out.

Sure, of course.
Go get dressed.

Oh, no, I am dressed.

No, really dressed.

Oh.

A Porsche.
I love you.

He's 45 minutes late.

I love you so much.

Yes, you do. Okay.

All right. Okay.

(DOORBELL DINGS)
(EXHALES)

You want me to...
Yeah, you get it. I'II...

Okay.

Hey.
There he is.

Worst dinner guest
ever, right?

No, of course not.
Come in.

Forty minutes late.
I'm so sorry.

Good to see you.
Don't worry about it.

Joel.
Hey.

Good to see you, man.
You look great.

Those arms, the hair,
the guy's like a rock star.

Boy, okay.
Thanks, I guess.

Thing is, they say it's going
to be a 10-minute phone call.

You know, just dotting
the I's, crossing the T's.

And suddenly they want to
reopen all the deal points

we've spent the last six
months grinding them on.

Oh, that's the worst.

Yeah, that sucks.

(SIGHS) Bet you're glad you don't have
to deal with crap like that, huh, Joel?

Whew.

TIMM: Stay-at-home dad.

Yup.

Oh, man, what do I have
to do to get that job?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Seriously though,
it's honorable what you do.

Yup.

Oh, it's a little something
I picked up in Tuscany...

Oh, my gosh... In a
vineyard last month. Yeah.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

Is this the whole
place or... This is it.

Well, you know, there's the second
floor, but... Should we have some wine?

Wine would be awesome.
Your call. Absolutely.

Let's start with
our poor wine

and then we'll move on to
this Tuscany. Yeah, we'll

save this for
a special occasion.

Dad.
Hey, sweetheart.

Hi.

Boy, you look nice.

Thanks. You scared me.
What're you doing?

Oh, yeah, just getting
some clothes.

How's your mom?

You know, fine.
She's keeping busy.

You would not believe what I am
going through at your brother's house.

You know that eight-year-old
kid runs the joint.

And the girl's virginity
is hanging by a thread.

Adam can't even watch a
basketball game with me and...

Boy, you look beautiful.

So, what are you girls
off to, the cotillion?

No, well, we're going to
an art gallery opening.

Oh.

My whole class is going.

Oh.

Millie, can I...
We'd better get going.

Sarah?
Dad.

Yeah. Okay,
I'm coming. Okay, bye.

Bye.

See you later, Dad.

Have a good time.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SIGHS)

That's Ingrid,
in the kimono.

She's all about daffodils. She
sneaks them into all her paintings.

Oh.
And that's Harvey, there

with the bushy hair and
the orthopedic shoes.

He's obsessed with African
masks. That's all he paints.

Oh.
That's Matthew.

Uh-huh. Oh.
That's your teacher?

(CHUCKLES) He's amazing.

A true artist just
entered the room.

(GIGGLES)
He always does that.

You look
absolutely stunning.

Really? I do? Thank you.

MATTHEW: Is this Sarah?

Hi.

Glad to meet you. Do you know
how talented your mother is?

Yeah. He's saying that
because you're here.

No, really.

Can I steal your mother
away for a bit?

Oh, he's going to
steal me away.

Okay. Well, steal,
steal, steal.

So, the plan is to bundle
your dad's holdings

with a bunch of higher-end
properties. Mmm-hmm.

Bundling is when we package
a less attractive investment

with some blue-chips,
so as to...

I understand what
bundling is.

Oh. Uh.

Then we call
the Keppler Group.

They'II... They're wired up
to a big pile of China money.

Keppler buys the bundle,
which buys out your dad,

and he comes away with maybe
40 cents on the dollar, but hey,

that's a hell of a lot better
than zero cents, right?

And the Keppler guys,
why are they into it?

They owe me a favor for keeping
their name out of the papers

during the whole TARP mess.

TARP stands for
Troubled Asset Relief Program.

Mmm-mmm.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Excuse me, this one
I gotta take, this one.

Deano, what's going on,
brother? What happened?

Uh-huh.

(WHISPERS) You're my hero.

(LAUGHS)

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Unbelievable.

Excuse me?

Oh, I'm sorry.
Not you. It's... (SCOFFS)

I mean, I get it. You know,
you're hurt, you want revenge.

But that... This...

Who? Who are we
talking about?

It's my mother. The little lady
with the necklaces is my mother.

And the guy she's talking
to is her art teacher.

Oh, they make
a cute couple.

They're not a couple.

That woman is
a grandmother.

Look at her flirting
and giggling.

It's like she's in the
Sex in the City movie.

Oh, I'm so looking forward
to seeing that sequel.

Well, so am I.
I'm not dead inside.

But the fact is that
guy's a home wrecker.

I am going to go
and look at some art.

Sorry.

Take it.
Okay, I did.

Oh, no.
I don't like it.

We'll put a cat on it. But
it'll look better if you just...

Since when do you like
Death Cab? Who burned this?

Oh, nobody. I just have
to return that to somebody.

To who? To Steve?

TISHA: Let me see that.

(ALL GASP)

Tisha!

TISHA: (LAUGHS)
It was an accident!

I say, yay.
Steve is a douche.

TISHA: He is.

The Decemberists.
Is this one his, too?

No. It's not. I love them.

Do it.
Do it.

Oh, I don't know.
GRACE: Yeah, yeah.

TISHA: He was a total jerk
to you. GRACE: Break it.

He totally deserves it.

Do you think
I should, Amber?

Whatever you want.
KAYLA: Come on, do it.

GRACE: Do it.
TISHA: Do it.

I don't just...
Oh, my God. (LAUGHS)

TISHA: Yeah!
KAYLA: Everybody take one!

HADDIE: This feels so good.

TISHA: Come on, Amber.

(EXCLAIMING)

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

Yeah.
Break it.

TISHA: Yeah. Break it.

(CHATTERING ON TV)

Miles is missing!
What?

I went to say goodnight to him,
and he wasn't... He ran away!

Did you check eight inches
away from where you left him?

What are we going to do?

Okay, he's not in his room. I don't
know where the heck this thing is.

It's disappeared.

All right, listen to me.
Everything's going to be okay.

You go look around
the house with Mom.

Grandpa and I will
look outside, okay.

We'll get Haddie and
her friends to help.

Okay. See, Son.

This is where a dog
would come in handy.

Right, you go,
"Here, Skipper. Here, boy!"

(CALLING) And your dog comes.

You do that
to a turtle, nothing.

I'm going to get us
some flashlights.

De Kooning gets a royalty every
time someone looks at that.

(LAUGHS) It's an art joke
I actually get.

(GIGGLES) It's funny. We're gonna go.

You're gonna...

A friend of mine has
a gallery in Oakland.

And they're also having
an opening tonight.

Oh. But it's a few notches
down on the pretentious meter.

Okay. Well, where is it?
I'll join you.

Oh, no, no.
Not necessary.

But, Mom, how are you
going to get home?

Do you want me to
come get you later?

Well, Matthew will
give me a ride home.

Yeah. No problem. Sure. You'll
give me a ride home, right?

Oh, good.

Okay.

Well, have fun.
Yes.

Bye, darling.

Okay.
Bye, Sarah.

Bye-bye.

Oh, we could be out here all
night looking for the turtle.

Wait a second,
I think I got him.

Boy, if that's him, I'm going
to enter him in a marathon.

Hey, look, Adam, why don't
you and me go to the pet store.

We'll get a Golden Retriever,
and he can find the turtle?

Stop with the damn dog.

Well, I mean, you really ought
to get Max a real pet, Adam.

Oh, my God!
Would you shut up?

What, do you think I
don't know why you're here?

What do you mean? I know
that you cheated on Mom.

What?
You heard me.

Who told you that?

Does it matter?

That's none of your
damn business, Son.

Well, how could you
do that to her?

We did it to
each other, Adam.

It takes two to tango.

Well, that's a load of crap,
you son of a bitch.

Oh, no. It's not
that simple, Son.

Really? Really?
You're going to blame Mom

for screwing around
with some other woman?

Let me tell you something.

When you've been married 46
years, you come and talk to me.

Until then, you just
back the hell off.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

He's worse than
I remembered. Way worse.

I know. He's a means
to an end.

(SIGHS)

I don't think so.

We're done with that guy.

What are you
talking about?

I don't trust him.

Joel, don't let baggage
from a million years ago

become a factor in
what's happening right now.

Julia, this isn't
about baggage.

This is about him
bundling money,

like all the crooks who got this country
into the whole mess it's in. It's just...

Look, Timm is not
a criminal.

We can find
somebody better...

Who?
...to help your dad.

Somebody who's not such a scumbag. Yeah?

For starters, me.

I can drive out,

take a look at the property,
evaluate it.

Maybe there's some way I can do
some work on it, bring the value up.

Joel, we're not putting
anything more into this.

It's throwing
good money after bad.

You don't have
a say in this.

You've got to be
kidding me.

(SIGHS) You know
I've been over the numbers.

And I've been over them.
And the hole is huge.

And there's no one who will

do us this kind
of massive favor

that Timm's talking
about doing.

The crisis is huge. My parents'
marriage is in the balance.

I don't know
what else to say.

Okay.

(SIGHS)

Max kind of looks
like a turtle.

(CHUCKLES) I can see that.

Or like, I mean a tortoise. I don't
know. I don't know which one it is.

Yeah, I don't really
know the difference.

Yeah. Same snappy, little face.

I know. Which is like
Max's face, you know?

Like every day...
Haddie.

Can I talk to you
for one second?

Yeah.
About Steve.

Oh, my God.

I know. I saw you guys
talking in the cafeteria.

He probably...
Did he say something weird?

Because he makes jokes. And
like... No, it's not that.

Haddie, it's not that.

What?

What?
No, I just...

(SIGHS)
This is hard.

What?

(STUTTERS)
I slept with him.

Ha ha.

(CRYING) I don't know. I don't
know. I don't know what happened.

I don't know
what happened.

It was an accident.
I messed up. I...

I was drinking and he was
being nice and I just...

Something is wrong with me.
I'm sorry.

I wish I could take it back.
It was an accident.

And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

Please try to understand...
Can you just...

Can you stop talking?

I don't know what happened.
Please. Please don't be mad at me.

Please don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry.

Please.

Oh, God.

Max, Max, we are
going to find Miles.

(CRYING) No, we're not!
I promise.

You can't promise, because
you don't know where he is!

You're right. You're right.
I can't. (BREATHING HEAVILY)

Look, Max, a tortoise
is never really lost,

because a tortoise carries
its house on its back, right?

(SHOUTING)
Hey, Max.

Hey, Max.

Hey, Max.

Max.

Max, you're going to
be all right. Okay?

All right?

Okay.

You waited up.

Revenge, huh, for all those
nights I made you wait up?

Yeah, right. There aren't
enough nights in the year.

Mom?
What?

How was it?

Oh, it was fun.

I had a really good time. What'd you do?

(STUTTERS)
Well, we went to the...

(LAUGHS)
The other art show.

You would not believe
how bad the art was.

It was like someone threw up
all over the canvas.

We got out of there
in about five minutes.

And we went to a bar.

It was a pub,
Irish pub.

We had Irish coffee.

And, it was nice.

There was a band there
that wasn't so great.

So, we left there and we
went back to Matthew's place.

And he made us a fire.

And served us some port.

And we talked and...

And...

And?

Oh, Mom.

CROSBY: Go slow.
I'm losing it.

CROSBY: No, no, no.
Braverman, come on, dig deep.

No, I can't.
All right, easy, easy.

Oh, God! Oh, God!
I'm losing it!

Come on, dig deep.
Hold it.

Oh, God!
Wait, wait, wait!

Oh! You know what?
That's not funny.

This is a priceless
instrument.

(LAUGHS)
Hey, hey, nephew of mine.

Don't encourage him.
All right, sorry. Sorry.

Hey, I'm not the one making his
nephew carry a piano down the stairs.

Exactly. Exactly.
ADAM: All right. Hold on.

Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on.

Do you need me to get it?
Yeah, will you just grab this?

This is...
Okay. All right. I got it.

Okay, holding it.
You got it?

Thanks. Just got to do this.
(EXHALES)

CROSBY: Oh!
Oh, Don Rickles is here.

It's the first time
you've ever made a joke,

and you decide to do it
when I'm holding a piano.

Well, pretty good.

You know what?
What?

I'm never asking you guys to
help me move anything ever again.

You promise?
I'll show you promise.

Now, come on, let's go.
Go, go, go, go, go!

Keep the momentum! Go,
go, go, go, go! Come on.

I like this picture, Mommy.
You look like a princess.

Oh, yeah, that's prom.

Is that Daddy?

No, sweetie.
Look at it.

That's my friend Timm.

Timmmmm.

Come on back.
Come on back.

(ALL CLAMORING)

So, where's Haddie?

CROSBY: Adam, that's it.
You got that right angle?

Come on back some more. Come on back.

Up, up, up, up.

(GRUNTING)

SARAH: I actually got that
end. I actually did something.

(WHOOPING)
Excellent.

And you said it
couldn't be done.

Okay, to thank you for
your not-so-heroic efforts,

I present to you,
Solace, A Mexican Serenade.

No!
CROSBY: Yes.

No!
(PIANO PLAYING)

SARAH: Play something else!

What is wrong
with that one?

That's the song he played
for his sixth grade recital.

We've heard it
ten thousand times.

ADAM: Ten million.

It's gonna bring me back in time
to a very unattractive hairdo.

It keeps getting better
and better, doesn't it?

Oh, it sounds good.

It's not as awful
as I expected.

Can you dance
to this one?

Some songs never
get old, right?

SARAH: Except that one.

Except for this one.
That's right.

I like it.

Oh, please, all right.

Go on, Joel.

May I?
Yeah, give Jasmine a whirl.

Here we go. Yes.
I'll let you lead.

CROSBY: Joel. Joel,
let's keep a little distance.

Okay. I'll do...

JASMINE: I just want to...
Do I get a dip?

Yeah.
Right now?

(ALL CHATTERING)

You know who's
a good dancer? Aunt Sarah.

She hates to do it,
but once she gets started,

boy, there's nothing
stopping her.

Wow, look who's the hero.

Where'd you find him?

He was in my shoe.

They don't have a very
good sense of smell.

Well, Max is going
to be thrilled.

Why don't you go
give it to him?

Oh, no.
Here, you give it to him.

All right.

Here, buddy.

You know something, Sonny.

You're 10 times
the father I ever was.

That's not true.
Yes it is.

Five times maybe.

Miles!

Miles! Miles!
Grandpa found him.

(SIGHS)

I think your mom's
going to forgive me.

I wouldn't.

But then again, I haven't
been married for 46 years.

(CHUCKLES)