All language subtitles for The Power of Parker s02e06 You Better Not Miss.eng

I watched this film, right, and I
just wondered if you'd watched it,

cos I nodded off at the end.

Um, Bruce Willis

and Julia Roberts, they are on their
arses skint, right?

And to cut a long story short,

Julia, well, she gets run over.

Oh! And she goes into this hotel
with this man

and he's living there, you see.

And she goes there to try and get
him to get Bruce Willis a job.

Right? Ooh! Kath, this sounds
shocking.

And, then, Julia's sister turns up.

Who's her sister? Pat Butcher.

It's very shiny.
But they killed this man.

Dead as a door knob.

And then they chucked him in a skip.

And then they just carried on as
normal as if it never happened.

Kath, this is madness.

So, as a copper, how does this end?

Are you all right?

You look as though you've
seen...a ghost.

Oh.

I've been planning that
the whole way here.

Your face is bloody brilliant.

So the funny thing is, Sandy...
No, Parker.

It's my time to speak.

It's funny, when I was on my way to
Gatley in that skip...

..hidden underneath a piss-stained
roll of carpet

and on top of a skanky mattress,

I had a lot of time to think.

You know when you have a near death
experience - well, you'll know

all about this, Parker -
it makes you re-evaluate everything.

And so I thought to myself,
I thought, "What does Sandy want?"

It was something Kath said to me,
actually.

She's not as thick as she looks.

Oh, thank you.
She said to follow your heart.

So I am, and I want out.

Finito.

No problemo. So you're going to buy
me out. Eh?

I'm riding off into the sunset.

I'm not staying here, arsing
about with a ten-a-penny electrical

store. I'm going to get Jean back

and I'm going to take her to
Portugal.

Oh, lovely.

But this - this is more than the
business is worth, Sandy.

And they say you can't put
a price on freedom.

Well, it looks as though you can.

What will you do if we refuse?

Well, I'm going to go straight to
the police, Diane, that's what.

And why would anyone believe you?

No-one even noticed you were
missing. Hmm.

You know Gordon Proctor, don't you -
runs the Grand Hotel? He's

good friend of mine. Lovely fella.

Plays the trumpet, massive chin.

He gave me this CCTV footage,

which clearly shows you three

pushing me out of a window
and into a skip.

Very harrowing, to tell you the
truth. So you're blackmailing us?

Well, I suppose if you want to give
it a name,

I am, Kath, yeah. Well done. Oh.

You've got 24 hours.

Otherwise, I'll be along to see
another good friend of mine -

the Chief Constable. Ha.

If you come for the king,

you'd better not miss.

Ooh! But we don't have that
kind of money, Sandy, you know that.

Please, please,
can we talk about this, please?

It's non-negotiable, I'm afraid,
love.

Besides, with your negotiation
skills,

you wouldn't have a
cat in hell's chance.

Night-night! I'll come by the shop
tomorrow to pick up the cash.

Oh, come on, Sandy, please.
Please, Sandy!

SANDY HUMS A TUNE
Sandy! Sandy, please!

Oh. Oh! Hope you've had
a lovely evening.

Er... Safe journey home.
Thanks for coming.

Thanks for coming. Bye! Safe home.

DOOR CLOSES
Right, this is madness!

This is where it ends. I'll walk
away.

He can have the whole
business - he can have the lot.

Were you listening? He wants money,
he doesn't want the business.

Agh! What are we going to do,
Martin?

What you asking him for?!
You can't trust him!

Excuse me? Oh, we've worked out your
little games, Martin -

playing us off each other, trying
to save your own skin.

How dare you? Well, it doesn't even
matter any more, does it,

cos we're all in this, together now.

Well, I can't get
hold of that kind of money

and you two obviously can't. Oh,
well, why don't you ask Vinnie, eh?

Your fancy fella. Ask him
for a loan. He's your new boyfriend,

isn't he? Not that it's any of your
business,

but we are not together
any more.

Bloody hell! That was quick.

What happened, did he see your birth
certificate?

Childish! Yeah, that's how he likes
'em.

Well, what about the Chans?
Can you ask them?

The Lucky Panda -
they must make a fair bit of cash.

They're very low margins in food,
Diane. It's a mug's game.

OK, what about your new fashion
boss? Oh, yes!

Why don't you ask her?
Does she have money?

Well, she's loaded but I'm not...
Ooh, she's loaded! Oh, good for Mic!

And why would this woman,
who you're keeping very bloody

secret by the way,
just hand us her cash willy nilly?

She wouldn't.. Well, she won't, will
she?

"Well, she won't, will she?"
That's that, then.

We're going to have to take it.
What? Who by? What is going on?!

Take it how? I can't believe I'm
saying this,

but we're going to have to steal it.
Oh!

No, no, no, not happening.

I'm not adding robbery
to my growing list of offences.

Absolutely not. I think you've
forgotten

that I've just had a caution for
disturbing the peace!

Well, have you got any other ideas?

Have you? Anything?

Would we need to be armed? Who...?
Who the hell are you?

Armed - why would
we need to be armed?

Well, could we not just ask someone
else to do it for us?

Oh, good idea, we could put an ad in
the paper - robber wanted.

Do you think that would work? No!

You know some dodgy people,
don't you, Martin?

Yeah, you two! Then you're going to
have to find us someone.

Eh? No.

I mean, who the hell are you?

You look like the poor man's Thelma
and Louise. Oh, bagsy Thelma.

Hang on, which one shagged
Brad Pitt?

Right, I'll leave that with
you, then, Martin. Kath,

we'll go straight to Dad's. We need
to check he's all right.

We need to check he's sorted in case
anything happens to us. Oh, God.

Bloody hell, Mr Pennington,

you'll be invited to our Christmas
do next, you're here that often.

All right, Ash. How's it going?
Good news.

You're free to go.

You what? How come? The man you
murdered is alive and well,

eating curly fries at the Grand.

I don't...

Kath told me.

Kath told you what?

Kath told me
I'm a stupid old bastard

and I ought to learn when
to keep my gob shut.

Ah, she's lovely, your Kath.

How did she end up with that Parker?

HE SIGHS
Christ knows.

"What an offer!" What a wanker.

Ash, how do I get myself
sent down for a good long stretch?

I'm homeless, mate.

Don't know what else to do. Come on,
what else could you book us for?

No. You don't want to do that,
Dougie.

You know what?
Right, you're coming with me.

I'll sort you something.

Pssst!

What the hell?
Liam, it's me, Martin -

Martin Parker. You cheeky...
Hey lads, I've found a jazz mag.

Wahey!
INDISTINCT CHATTER

I come in peace. Here.

I called in to see your mam.

She sent the fags
and the Wagon Wheels.

She said you're not to worry
about your Aunt Lynne.

It wasn't a lump, it was just
a toffee Revel stuck in her bra.

That's a relief.

Look,

I know I'm the last person
you want to see,

but I need a favour.

Agh! And why should
I do you a favour, Parker?

You're the reason I'm picking shit
up by the side of the road.

Three used johnnies
and an adult nappy, this morning.

Agh! MUFFLED: Sorry about that.

Agh.

Thing is, I need a man. You've got
the wrong fella, mate.

It was a one-off.
I needed a phone card.

No! No, it's for a job,
it's a decent job.

I need somebody who can handle
themselves.

And there's
a payday in it for you, too.

I'll see you right. OK, keep
talking. How many bags?

I'm not sure. I'd say

at least a couple of decent-sized
holdalls' worth.

Or maybe even a...a large family
suitcase.

No, I mean how much
money in it for me, dickhead?

I'll make it worth your while,
I promise you.

There's a good slice in it for you
and your mam -

set you up nicely after you get out.

I promised your mum
I'd get her a satellite dish.

Now, you don't want to break your
wee mammy's heart.

I'm getting really worried now.

Where the hell is Dad?

Nothing like a bit of stress to send
you into a cleaning frenzy.

Oh, don't look in the bathroom.
It's like a war zone.

It's fucking horrific!

Well, at least the oven's gleaming.

They're going to be knocking
this place down.

Standards, Kath, standards.

I'm not having the demolition men
think Dad's an animal.

Though that might explain
the droppings. Hmm.

CAR HORN TOOTS
Who's that?

It's Dad! It's Dad.

That was your mother's,
that. Bloody hell,

she will haunt the pair of you.
Dad! We've been dead worried.

Where the hell have you been?
Cop shop. Cop shop? Yeah.

I turned myself in.
I told 'em, I killed Sandy Cooper.

Eh, you look shocked.
Well, so was I.

Apparently, bugger's living the life
of Rockefeller in the Grand Hotel.

Well, it slipped out.

Oh, bloody hell. Hiya.

Ash has saved my bacon.

Look at this little beauty.

Ta-da!

I have not got a clue what's
going on here. What is going on?

Oh, it was going for scrap.

The van had been fly-tipped in
Newton Heath. Ha!

Hey, good, innit?
It'll shine up a treat, will that.

Will it? Anyway, we only stopped off

to pick up your mam before
we head over to yours.

What's that? Well, I'm going to park
up on your driveway.

Oh, no, Dad! Oh, come on!

I'll be no bother.
I'll keep myself to myself. Oh.

I've got a chemical toilet in
there and everything.

I'll only need to use yours
for solids.

Oh, your mam is going to love this.

She loved caravanning, your mam.

I'm sorry, who are you? Oh, look,
the caravan's got curtains, Diane.

That's...that's really good. Wow.
PHONE RINGS

Hello, Diane speaking. Kath, I'm a
bit worried about your dad.

He handed himself in.
It's Bev for you.

Bev, I'll call you back.
Don't want to...

What the hell's this
piece of shit? Oh, shit.

Martin, isn't it?

Nice to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.

And who are you? Oh, this...this is
Ash, um,

a friend from school - old
friend. So we, er...

We should get a wriggle on,
rather than chitter-chatting.

Yes, come on, we need to go.

Oh, give it here, Mr Pennington,
come on.

What's he doing here? Dougie.
Martin.

Are you joining the circus?
There's only one clown round here.

Eh? Eh? No, please, please, not now.

I'm sorry, Dad, but we've...we've
got to go. Where are you going?

To the, er... Yeah, we've got to
pick up the plates

from last night's buffet.

All three of you? Yeah, cos we
used a lot of plates.

Shitloads of plates.
Right, let's go.

What are you getting all soppy for?

Oh, not you and all!
Come on!

Sod off! I'll be fine, me.

For God's sake, we have to go!

Come on, Joyce, I'll show
you your new home.

It's brilliant.

Thanks for doing that.
It's dead kind.

Ah, it's no bother.

Everything all right, Kath? Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Just, I'm going away

soon and we've still got to
talk about the end of that film.

MARTIN: Kath!

All right!

A sunbed shop! I thought you said
she worked in fashion.

Well, that's very bloody shady,
that is, Martin.

I've been dying for a sunny
for ages, you know that.

Look at the state of me -
I'm like a milk bottle.

Right, the muscle'll be here
any minute. Muscle?

Well, the heavy,
the...the hired help.

I don't know what you're supposed
to call them.

I've never done this before.

Oh, OK, Martin.
In a minute, you'll go in. Right.

You need to distract this Mic
and engage her in conversation.

Oh, he'll love that. And then, Kath,
you'll nip in and distract the dog.

Then your guy, if he turns up...
He'll turn up.

..he goes in, he does what he needs
to do,

he takes the cash - in and out.

In and out. What are you going
to be doing?

I'm the getaway driver, thank you.

Passed my test first time, I've
never even had a parking ticket.

Well, you're not going to get
anywhere fast in this.

It does 30, tops.
Gladys reckons she can walk faster.

It's perfect.
No-one will suspect us in this.

Right.
CLEARS THROAT I'm going in.

You wait five minutes. OK.

Then you come in with your little
tray of meat. Right.

Good luck, Martin. Thank you.
Say hi to Mic.

Child! Right, I should get
over into the seat, get ready.

Child? I'm a 34 double D,
thank you.

God, I can't get over. Just close
your legs and swing.

No, it's the gear stick.
It's in the way.

Oh, God, I can't get over it.
What do you reckon he's doing?

I don't want to put
it in reverse by accident.

KNOCKING AT DOOR

All right? Oh, here he is.

Knew you'd come crawling back.

Eh? Good to see you, Martin.

Yeah. Good to see you, too.
I was just...just passing.

I thought I'd say hi. Hi!

I was very hurt
when you walked out on me.

Gave you the offer of a lifetime.
What thanks do I get?

"Thanks for nothing" with a "fuck
you" tagged on the end.

No, no, no, it wasn't like that,
Mic.

What was it like, Martin?

Listen, you are not going to believe
this.

Is it time?
Give it another couple of minutes.

Oh, God, it's awful. Oh.

Do you think Jean'll take
Sandy back?

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I don't
know why he wants her back.

Right bitch for cheating on him
like that.

Oh, that's rich coming from you.

You can't help who you
fall in love with, can you?

KNOCKING ON VAN
Oh!

Yes? Soz I'm late.

What the...? Oh, my God I know him.
You're joking.

He's a little baby Slater.

He's shot up. What is he doing here?
Shush, shush.

Nice wheels. Where's Parker?

Are you the muscle? Yeah, I am.

Don't worry about me, sweetheart,
yeah?

I can handle myself.
How old are you?

Mind your business, you nosy
cow. Here...

..stick these on. Oh, no. No, thank
you, my love, we don't need these.

I'm not going in.
I'm only here to feed the dog.

I won this. Don't win anything,
normally - very unlucky.

Well, tell a lie,
I did win Miss Stockport.

That was about 30-odd
years ago now,

but you probably weren't even born.
Kath.

These sausages
are definitely on the turn.

Hey, tit heads,
you'd better wear them masks,

unless you're all right
with your mugs all over Crimewatch.

Ah! Oh, God, he's right.
It's a good point.

We'll put them on. Never thought of
that.

God, I didn't think of that,
either.

Gosh. Oh.

Oh! I'm terrified! Oh!

Oh! Oh, the adrenaline and the...

It really is something, isn't it?
Woo! Woo!

THEY BOTH LAUGH

It's not funny, knob heads!

No, you're right, you're right.
It's a criminal offence.

Sorry. Sorry,
we're just very nervous.

We get giggly when we're nervous.
It's the adrenaline. Sorry. Sorry.

Look at you. You are very young.

Does your mother know
you're doing this?

Yeah. She gave me this.
THEY SHRIEK

What? No, please.

Ha!

BOTH: Oh!
Oh, dear.

So this is what you want to
do for a career, is it?

Well, I wanted to be a chef when I
were little. Oh, a little chef.

That's sweet. Very sweet. Yeah.

Do you think that's five minutes?
Yeah, that's five minutes.

Go, Kath. Go, Kath. Go, Kath.
Sh!

What? It's code names. Oh, code
names, yes, so sorry.

Yes, go, um... Julia.
Julia, Julia. And I'm Pat. Pat.

Pat and Julia. Thank you, Pat.
Then the Little Chef follows.

Good luck.

Oh! Oh.

For God's sake, Kath - Julia!

WHISPERS: Julia, Julia, Julia.

DOG GROWLS
Oh.

Hello. Do you want a meat raffle?

DOG BARKS
MIC: Samson!

It's quite exhilarating, isn't it?
I can see why you do it, actually.

PHONE RINGS
Oh, sorry.

Oh, that'll be my friend Marjorie,
trying to flog me more Tupperware.

I should get it. No, I'll leave it.

Just leave it. No, I should get it.
Shall I get it?

No! No, I'll get it.

Oh!

Hello, Di... Dying to speak to you.
Pat here.

Shitting hell! Kath.

Dog's an animal! It's Bev. Oh.

It's about Gladys. Hello?

Yeah.

I'll get there now.

I've got to go. I know. You need to
get out.

I'll be back to pick you
up. Come on, I'll take you.

Good luck.

And this Matthew's a drag
queen, right?

Like a Dame Edna
minus the glasses -

and the accent.
Sod all like Dame Edna, then.

Yeah, but they'll always need
handbags and shoes.

Do you do shoes, big shoes?

All right, shitbags,
where's the money?

It looks like a robbery.
What'll we do?

What's this, trick or treat?
Well, I'm not a fucking treat, am I?

No, you're not, son, and you're
making a big mistake,

let me tell you that.

Do you know who you're messing with?
Do you know who you're messing with?

Spuggie from Byker Grove,
by the look of it.

I-I really think
we should co-operate.

Empty your pockets, then,
because I'm giving him sod all.

You, sunshine, can whistle.

Stick your hands up in the air!

Oh, I really think we should do as
he says - he has a gun.

Yeah, listen to cloud head,
nobody gets hurt.

Now, where's the money?

Bloody 'ell.

Where did you say the cash was,
Parker? What's he saying?!

He's just asking me
to give him my wallet.

Yeah. Yeah, watch and wallet.

No, you don't need my watch,
mate. It was my dad's!

Watch and wallet. Now.

Bloody hell!

It's a nervous tic.

Who the hell are they?

Never you mind! Samson!

Ha, Samson's at
an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Before I lose my shit, where the
hell do you keep your cash?

In the Bradford & Bingley, what's it
to you?

Tell us where t'money is.

Or I'll shoot him in the arm.
It's in there, mate.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Kath! Kath!

I'm coming with you. No, you need to
get back for Martin.

You're the getaway driver.

Are you sure you're going
to be OK? Yeah.

It'll just be trapped wind
or summat.

Poor Gladys is a slave to
her bowels.

Oh!

I love you, Julia.

You too, Pat.

Go on.

Oh, heaven's to Betsy!

Er, can you get out?

Gladys!

Why's the door locked?

Is she all right? What's happened?

So sorry, Kath.

I'll just go straight in and see
her. I'll go in now.

Too late. I'm so sorry.

And you'd better not follow me out.

Where's the bastard bus?

MIC: What the hell
happened to you?

Somebody squealed.

Believe me, when I find out who put
that little shit up to this,

I'll be wearing their bollocks for
earrings.

And you'd do right, Mic. Shall I'll
go after him, see where he's gone?

All right! Show's over,
back to work.

Number three,
who taught you to write?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Good job, Ryan.

Very good. Haven't you got big?

Hey, nice touch taking my dad's
watch and wallet, too.

I'll have them back now, please.
In your dreams, knob rash. Eh?

Cheeky little...

Oh, what the...?

Diane? I had to take Kath back to
the home and this lot just got in.

Oh, brilliant,
now we've got six witnesses.

Excellent job, Diane, well done.

All right, Nelly, Alice?

ALICE: I feel sick.

Right. Yeah. Go, go, go, go!

ALICE: Where's Saleem?

Rotherham!

She wasn't right yesterday.

She was sat here
and she wasn't right.

Do you think she looked right?

She hadn't been right for
a while, Kath.

She was just good at hiding it.

What happened?

It was her heart.

She had the kindest heart.

She did. She really did.

And a vicious tongue.
That's why we got on.

I'll never forgive myself.

I should have been here with her.
I should have rang you back

and I should have stayed here with
her, instead of titting about.

You couldn't have known, love.

I should have known, Betty.

She was my best mate.

I'm a selfish cow.

Hey, Kath Pennington, you stop
talking like that, do you hear?

Gladys would not have wanted you
talking like that.

She'd tell you to stop feeling
bloody sorry

for yourself, wouldn't she?

Then she'd make you laugh by telling
you a funny story about that

time she gave a handjob
to that squaddie.

Hmm. She bloody loved
Remembrance Sunday.

She thought the world of you,
you know, Kath? Yeah.

We all do, mate.

What were her last words?

She asked me
if I wanted an Extra Strong mint.

Aw.

She said, "Do you want
an Extra Strong mint?"

Oh.

Thoughtful to the end.

I don't know what I'm going to
do...do without her.

She wanted you to have this.

Oh, they're never going to fit me -
she was like a Borrower.

Just open it.

Oh.

Aw!

She said you'd know what
to do with it.

We did it, Kath.
It all went to plan.

We're at the shop. Call me when
you get this.

I think we should
keep our heads down for a bit.

Will Mic call the police?
Definitely not.

She's running a bloody
sweat shop there. I'd no idea.

Bent as! A sweat shop? Yeah.

Knock-off handbags and shit.

If only we could get 'em
to knock us out a few tellies, eh?

Oh, my God! Martin...

..we are actual criminals. How the
hell did we get into all this?

Yes, but we're in it together now.
We're back in business.

Oh, don't make it worse, Martin.
Ahem! Sandy!

Martin. Hopefully, we can put this
whole misunderstanding

behind us now. We have your money.
All of it?

All of it. I'm impressed.
You can count it, if you like.

Oh, I'm sure that won't be
necessary, Diane. I trust you.

Which is mental, considering, a
couple of days ago,

you left me for dead. In a skip!

Nah-ah!

No tape, no money.

Why weren't you like this
when we were working together?

Because you wouldn't let me.

Can't believe you're walking
away from all this, Sandy.

Choosing a woman over business.
Never thought I'd see the day.

What, you're getting
soft in your old age?

Soft? I've more than doubled my
investment

in this place in less
than two years.

Oh, I'm not the one who's going
soft.

Jean said no, by the way.

Turns out Kath was wrong.

She doesn't want a place in the sun.

She's moving to Carlisle with
her man boy.

They're going to open up a tennis
school for veterans. Hmm.

So I'm going to use this

to put in a bid on the building
across the road.

Looks like Coopers & Co could be
back in business.

Every cloud, eh?

Ta-ra! Brilliant.

Brilliant! Just what I need.

It's fine, Diane, we've got this.

It's a new start for everyone.

I just want to make Kath happy.

Ah. You can lock up, Martin. Yeah.

I've got, er, someone -

something...

..I need to do.

Oh, and, er,

we need more Germolene.

MUSIC: Shattered Dreams
by Johnny Hates Jazz

# So much for your promises

# They died the day you let me
go... #

What an offer!

Top deal!

Yeah, don't get too comfortable,
you'll be moving, Mr Hairdryer.

# I thought it was you
who would stand by my side... #

PHONE RINGS

SHE SIGHS

KATH'S VOICE: Thank you for calling
Parker's Power and Electricals.

We're busy selling top-quality
electrical goods right now,

so please leave a message after the
beep.

MESSAGE BEEP

Martin? Martin, it's me.

Please pick up the phone.

I got Diane's message.

I'm glad it's sorted with
Sandy and the money.

I'm pleased for you, Martin.

You've got everything you've
always wanted now.

But what about me?

I'm so tired of trying to make
everyone else happy all the time.

And I think it's time for me
to be happy.

I'm going away for a bit. What?

The taxi's here. Wait. Bye, Martin.

Kath, I'm here.

CAR HORN TOOTS

PHONE RINGS

PHONE RINGING

PHONE RINGS

# This empty heart

# Oh, oh, no, no

# You said you'd die for me

# Oh, oh, oh, oh
Die for me

# So much for your promises... #

Airport, love? Yeah, please.

Who's Kath?

Mind your own.

How's your case going?

Yeah, good.

You look fuck all like Bruce Willis.

MUSIC: Walls Come Tumbling Down
by The Style Council

# You don't have to take this crap

# You don't have to sit back
and relax

# You can actually
try changing it. #

Repair and Synchronization by
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