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MUSIC: Just Can't Get Enough
by Depeche Mode
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Oh!
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# When I'm with you, baby
4
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# I go out of my head
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# And I just can't get enough
And I just can't get enough... #
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You smell like a brewery.
7
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I feel like a sack of shit,
to be fair.
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How's Nelly? Good, yeah.
9
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What did you do to her hair?
Usual.
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Cut the crap, Kath.
Where were you, really?
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Because I sure as hell know
you were not doing Nelly's hair.
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Because I was driving her,
and her bald head,
13
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home from Mecca Bingo last night.
Bald as a coot!
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00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,599
Cat got your tongue? Mm.
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Yeah, I went to see Bev, had a chat
with her like you said.
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00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,240
Got myself a job, didn't I?
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00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:03,839
At Oakvista?
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Where were you, Kath?
Who were you with? Oh!
19
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:10,639
Come on, what's his name? Diane.
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Holy God, Kath, how could you?
It was just a crappy awards do.
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How dare you!
22
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The Stockport Trade Awards is the
most prestigious night of the year!
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I won the meat raffle. Eh?
Bagged a link of sausages,
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24 chops and a ham shank.
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Oh! Sneaking around with my ex-wife
like some sordid affair.
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Oh, gross. And to top it all off,
you're playing in my playground.
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You don't even have a business.
I do!
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I'm a qualified hair stylist,
thank you very much!
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Parker's won an award. Oh, no! Mm.
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Oh, no!
Oh, this is a bloody joke!
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Sandy Cooper went onstage
to do a speech,
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completely ignored Diane,
didn't even mention her.
33
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,119
Well, why would he? Or you.
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Oh, that's typical of Sandy,
that is, absolutely typical.
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Had a little bit too much to drink,
got a bit gobby.
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You know what I'm like.
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Going to have to apologise
to Sandy.
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And Diane.
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00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,759
Aw!
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00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,079
Well done on your new job, mister.
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MUSIC: Living In a Box
by Living In a Box
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Diane! Oh!
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Di!
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Di!
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Slow down, Flo-Jo...
I am not in the mood for talking.
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Morning, Fabio! Morning, Richard!
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Come on Diane, I'm in kitten heels
here, I'm not a machine.
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Piss off!
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00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,719
I'm so sorry if I went a bit far,
last night.
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00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,839
I was just sticking up for you, sis.
It's good karma.
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Karma? Bloody karma?!
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You bit a man's arm.
Sounds a lot worse than it was.
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Oh, it couldn't be any worse,
you stupid cow.
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Everything you touch turns to shit!
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Well, a thank you wouldn't go amiss.
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For what?! Humiliating me?!
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Have you any idea how hard
I've worked to be taken seriously
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in this industry,
surrounded by all these men?!
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No, I can't even speak to you.
I'm absolutely furious with you.
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00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,839
And is Sandy all right
with everything? Huh!
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00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,679
What do you think?
He already thinks I'm a joke,
62
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,599
and now he probably thinks
my sister's a bloody psycho.
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00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:05,799
Urgh!
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You're joking!
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Ah! Dirty dog shit.
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00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,520
That'll be your karma, Kath.
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00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,319
# Living in a cardboard box
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# Am I living in a box? #
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00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,919
It's London, Walter. Eh?
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It's Big Ben.
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00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,839
Big bloody Ben.
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Big bloody bullshitter.
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I can hear you, Gladys. Good.
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00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,359
I've got nothing to hide, sunshine.
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Are you going to be long?
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00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,799
Why, Betty?
Have you got somewhere to go?
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Kilroy's on in a minute and I don't
want you causing a disturbance.
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00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,359
It's a jigsaw, Betty,
it's not the Goombay Dance Band.
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What's he saying?
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I am saying I've had enough
of your earache today.
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00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,960
I've had it up to here as it is.
Ignore him, he's full of it.
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00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,359
Your hands are the tools
of your trade, I get it.
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Yeah.
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Well, once again,
I can only apologise.
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Absolutely, yes, yes.
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00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:02,039
Yeah, shocking behaviour, I agree.
87
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,239
And believe you me,
I will be having words,
88
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,359
don't worry about that.
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00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,439
No, no.
90
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,319
No, I'm sure she's had all her jabs.
91
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:14,079
I've been reassured
on that front, yeah.
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00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,079
Oh, my God,
standards have dropped here!
93
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,159
I wouldn't want you cleaning for me.
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00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,319
Says the man who doesn't clean
for himself.
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00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,199
Hey, you missed a bit.
Ah, you must be bloody loving this.
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00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,439
DOUGIE LAUGHS
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Well, you get to my age,
you get your kicks where you can.
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00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,159
Layla, go and give these choccies
to your nana.
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Nana! Hey!
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00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,479
Hey, what do you think you're doing,
frightening kiddies? What?
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00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,199
You're Martin Parker, aren't you?
Didn't you die in that fire?
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Well, clearly not, love.
More's the pity.
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And now you live here? No, no, no.
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00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,239
I'm just working here
temporarily, thank you.
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00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,879
I bet you'd rather be dead.
106
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,639
Freddie Jenkins has been sat
bollocko waiting for his bed bath
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for half an hour.
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00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,079
A little bit of jock itch.
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DOUGIE LAUGHS
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Shut your face.
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Bev, Bev, Bev? Sign this for us,
would you?
112
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,199
And would you mind putting it
on the notice board for us?
113
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Why, what's it for?
I'm starting a revolution.
114
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The powers that be,
throwing me out of my home,
115
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,239
so they can throw up swanky flats,
no doubt.
116
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,359
John Major, about as much use
as tits on a bull.
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We're pawns in a game,
we're nothing.
118
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,719
Right. And when do you have
to be out by?
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00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,319
Monday. Christ, Dougie,
you're going to have to act quick.
120
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,999
You need action, not words.
121
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Hunger strike.
I don't eat that much as it is.
122
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Well, start a riot, then.
Make some noise.
123
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Anything's better than 23 signatures
on a sheet of A4.
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Ask Gladys. How come?
125
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,319
When management switched
the milk to powdered,
126
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,199
these lot proper kicked off.
127
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,839
Betty smashed up the lounge
and Gladys shat in the fish tank.
128
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,839
Next morning, sure as hell,
129
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,639
there were gold top milk
on top of their Weetabix.
130
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:49,239
Do you know what I mean?
THAT - that's how it's done, Dougie.
131
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What happened to the fish?
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Yes.
133
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Yes, I understand.
134
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,239
Yeah, I'll talk to her now.
135
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,280
OK, thank you.
136
00:06:04,091 --> 00:06:09,679
Well, I have to say, I'm very
disappointed in you, Diane.
137
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,879
You've let me down.
138
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,959
I am so sorry, Sandy,
I am absolutely mortified.
139
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Diane, I'm talking! Sorry, Sandy.
140
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,350
I can't remember what I was going
to say now. I've lost my thread!
141
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,719
Oh, yeah, that's it.
142
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,399
THAT was the doorman
from last night on the blower.
143
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,279
Poor man's had to have a tetanus.
144
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,119
Oh, God. Yeah.
145
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,279
He wanted to go legal, but
I told him your sister's on tablets.
146
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,959
Now, luckily, he's got a second
cousin in Great Yarmouth
147
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,439
who's a little bit funny
in the head, can't be around
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00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:43,799
sharp objects, apparently,
so he got it. Oh, thank you.
149
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,639
I think Kath's just
very protective of me.
150
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:50,519
I think she's just a bit upset
that, erm...
151
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,519
..that you took all the credit,
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00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,170
because at the end of the day,
we're partners, Sandy.
153
00:06:55,171 --> 00:07:00,079
After last night's antics,
I think you proved to everyone
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00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,719
why it's me who needs to be
the face of this business, not you.
155
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,679
But it wasn't me, it was Kath.
156
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,479
Look, you know she's...
157
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,079
..she's probably...
158
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,439
..she's probably going through,
you know...
159
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,959
She's going through the change,
you know, it messes with your head.
160
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,519
Oh, too much information, Diane!
Sorry.
161
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,199
I only invited you to that do
because I...
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00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,719
..I felt sorry for you.
163
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,119
I don't need your pity, Sandy.
164
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,839
Oh, now, I promised the doorman
you'd pop round to his house
165
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,279
with a nice new microwave.
Oh, no, no, I'm sorry,
166
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,359
I can't do that cos I've got to pop
out and meet Alison. Oh, thank you.
167
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:36,239
Oh, and pop him a ready meal in
as well, keep him sweet, eh?
168
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:37,960
Cheers, love.
169
00:07:40,991 --> 00:07:46,479
Another break, Martin?
This isn't a bloody holiday camp.
170
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,079
Shit needs doing. Yeah, well,
I'm interacting with the residents.
171
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:53,039
Aries, did you say, love?
Oh, well, why don't you interact
172
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,479
with the dirty bedding upstairs,
and then when you've done that,
173
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,919
you can interact with
the overflowing bins in the kitchen,
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00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,479
yeah? You tell him, Beverley.
175
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,119
If you don't like it,
you know where the door is.
176
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,639
Oh, don't tempt me, sweetheart,
don't tempt me.
177
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,680
Martin! Rogue turd in room 12.
Bring your gloves!
178
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,199
Go on, then, Martin.
179
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,199
There's a turd with your name on it.
180
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,250
SHOUTS: Martin!
181
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,559
Fuck this. I would rather be
destitute than have to see
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00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:21,999
you old witches every day.
183
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,520
I am out of here.
184
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,880
Shame on you.
185
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,640
DOOR SLAMS
186
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,319
Ready for a little knock about,
fella? Oh, yes, er,
187
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:42,160
sorry, matey. Quick tinkle,
then I'll see you by the car.
188
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,080
Diane!
189
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,519
It wasn't right, what Sandy did.
190
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:54,159
He shouldn't have taken that award.
Oh, well. Water under the bridge.
191
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,879
It's no way to treat a lady,
192
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,559
especially an intelligent lady
like yourself.
193
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:02,119
I mean, I wouldn't treat you
like that if I was in bed with you.
194
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,799
Business wise, of course.
195
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,079
Anyway, I'm glad I've got you
to myself.
196
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,199
I hope you don't mind. I, er...
197
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,839
..burnt off a few tunes
on a CD for you.
198
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,799
Oh! Whacked it out when I got back
last night. Oh, gosh.
199
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:20,039
That's very high-tech.
A little bit of Charles & Eddie,
200
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,879
touch of Luther, some Simply Red.
201
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,839
You've got very good taste.
202
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,959
And it's getting better
with age, Di.
203
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,479
DIANE SNORTS
So, you run a nice hot bath...
204
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,519
..light a few candles...
205
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,239
..gently press play...
206
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,519
..and chill.
207
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,359
Sorry to interrupt.
Julie! Please, will you knock?!
208
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,239
Oh, sorry, shall I knock now?
No, it's too late. What do you want?
209
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,239
There's a little lad got stuck
in a spin dryer. Oh, my God!
210
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,879
How the hell did that happen?!
211
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,439
I double dared him.
212
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,999
He's got a massive head
for a little one. Anyway, look,
213
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,319
I can see that you're busy.
Nice to see you, Di.
214
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,040
Yeah, and thanks. Pleasure.
215
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,839
Bye.
216
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,759
I've given his mam a lollipop,
but she's still kicking off
217
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,119
and he's screaming his head off now
and it's echoing round the drum.
218
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,519
Have you got any butter?
219
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,119
Oh, for God's sake!
220
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,319
She looked at me like
shit on her shoe,
221
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,550
and it was my shoe with the shit.
Muck for luck.
222
00:10:12,551 --> 00:10:15,959
Oh, Christ, I'm going to need
some of that with Martin.
223
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,359
He's seen his arse with me
about last night.
224
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,439
I'm going to need to make it up
to him. You'll sort it, love.
225
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,239
You want to ask Bev
if she can get you some of them
226
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,439
sexy pills she gave Joe O'Leary.
227
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,399
What are you talking about?
They're not sexy pills.
228
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,959
They're for his arthritis.
229
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,919
Increased libido's just
a side-effect.
230
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,399
He were humping a coat stand
earlier.
231
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,559
Martin had to pull him off. Oh!
232
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,279
Not like that, Betty!
233
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,599
My George wasn't a fan of sex.
234
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,439
Not the human kind, anyway.
235
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,919
He bred Doberman pinschers,
till his eyes packed in.
236
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,479
Hmm. Lovely dogs. Yeah, very nice.
237
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,919
Then I met Winston at George's wake.
238
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,199
Ooh, randy sod.
239
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,319
Like a rampant goat.
240
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,439
Oh, you lucky cow.
Speaking of Martin, Kath,
241
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:58,799
where is he with my minibus?
242
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,359
I've got 16 pensioners
all wanting to go look
243
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,359
at the planes at Ringway
this afternoon,
244
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,599
and there'll be murder if he doesn't
bring it back. What you on about?!
245
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,559
He's quit. He's only just
got the job!
246
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:10,719
Well, he got his tits in a tangle
cos I asked him to pull his weight,
247
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,479
and then he stormed out
like a stroppy teenager.
248
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:13,719
Well, why would he do that?
249
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,919
Because he's a lazy, lying swipe
of shite.
250
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,920
That's why. And tell him I want
my fleece back an' all.
251
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,679
Why did no-one tell me about this?
252
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,119
Bugger him! He doesn't deserve you.
253
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,519
You're too good for him.
The man's a shithouse.
254
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,079
You've done a lovely job
on Norma, Kath.
255
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,879
Oh, you have, love!
256
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,399
She looks better now than she did
when she was breathing.
257
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,919
Although I'm surprised they squeezed
her arse into that coffin,
258
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,239
to be fair.
259
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,279
I pity the pallbearers.
260
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,920
They'll need weightlifting belts.
261
00:11:47,921 --> 00:11:52,319
We'll have to be quick
while Mum and Sandy are out.
262
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,879
Oh, and Gary will be in in a bit
to clean George Michael.
263
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,199
George Michael?!
264
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,759
George Michael, staff rabbit.
265
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,679
Staff rabbit? What's your mum
running here, a play school?
266
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:03,679
No! We've got a dartboard
in the kitchen.
267
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,119
Jesus wept.
268
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,399
Hey, cheers for doing this.
269
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,839
Yeah. S'all right.
270
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,319
Er, I've put down all the usual
stuff about Parker's,
271
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,479
owner, all that balls.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
272
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,439
Fact.
273
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,119
God, this is bloody ridiculous,
me having to do this.
274
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,879
I mean, what's this country
coming to,
275
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,599
a man of my age and experience
fannying about with CVs?
276
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,479
I'm too experienced,
that's my problem.
277
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,999
So, what shall I put down
for recent work?
278
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,839
Hmm, tricky.
279
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,119
You'd better not put down
the old people's home.
280
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,840
I was only there a couple of hours.
281
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,799
Put down that I volunteered
for the needy.
282
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,799
Yeah!
283
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,639
No, scrap that.
TOM SIGHS
284
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,999
Well, it makes me sound
like a do-gooder.
285
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,639
No-one's going to believe
I've suddenly gone all kumbaya.
286
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,079
What's that next section?
287
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,559
Interests.
288
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:56,999
Interests? Have you never seen
a CV before, Dad?
289
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,359
How did you used to employ people?
290
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,159
Gut instinct! I'd no time for any
of that gubbins.
291
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:05,639
I am a people person. When you know,
you know, you know? No.
292
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,719
I've put down reading,
sports and socialising.
293
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,239
MARTIN GRUMBLES
294
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,039
I don't really like any of that lot.
295
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,399
Do you want me to do it or not?
296
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,279
Well, no, not if you're trying
to get me a job socialising!
297
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,840
You make me sound like
Peter bloody Stringfellow.
298
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,759
# I'm lookin' in
your big brown eyes
299
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,159
# Ooh, yeah
300
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:37,599
# And I've got this
to say to you, hey
301
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,359
# Girl, I want
to make you sweat... #
302
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,479
Oh!
303
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,039
# Sweat till you can't sweat no more
304
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,759
# And if you cry out
305
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,639
# I'm gonna push it
some more-ore-ore
306
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,279
# Girl, I want to make you sweat
307
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,919
# Sweat till you can't sweat no more
308
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,399
# And if you cry out
309
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,679
# I'm gonna push it
310
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,759
# Push it, push it some more
Push it, push it
311
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:00,999
# Ah, la, la, la, la, long
312
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,319
# Ah, la, la, la, la
313
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:03,839
# Long, long, li, long
Long, long... #
314
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,079
Come on!
315
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,319
# Ah, la, la, la, la, long
316
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,359
# Ah, la, la, la, la
317
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,399
# Long, long, li, long... #
318
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,199
DIANE GASPS
Oh! Sorry!
319
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,730
Mum, are you coming in or what?
Yes, sorry. Coming!
320
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,279
Hiya, Gladys. Only me.
321
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,879
I need some advice.
322
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,879
Oh! I can't believe he quit his job.
323
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,120
I'm absolutely fuming.
324
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:28,959
Well, some people can't hack it.
I think it's the smell.
325
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,039
Have you ever felt like just
running away, Gladys?
326
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,199
CHUCKLES: With these hips?
327
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,359
Martin's a different man
since the fire.
328
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,439
He misses being, like,
a big business-y boss,
329
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,719
looking fit in his fancy suits.
330
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,359
He's lost his sparkle.
331
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,039
Has he now?
332
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:46,159
I mean, I should just ask Diane
to get him a job back at Parker's,
333
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,559
cos that would...
334
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:51,159
Yep. Yes. I SHOULD just ask Diane
to give him a job back at Parker's.
335
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,279
I don't think that's a good idea.
336
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:56,120
No, you're right. Sandy calls
the shots there now, so...
337
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,639
OK, yeah, you're right.
338
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,159
So, I convince Sandy
to take Martin back -
339
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,719
that sorts Martin out
and helps Diane out.
340
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,759
Bloody hell, Gladys!
I don't know how you do it.
341
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,719
You're like my own little Mr Miyagi.
342
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,039
Oh, love, I do worry about you.
343
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,999
Why? It's perfect! Everyone's happy.
Win-win.
344
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,639
And what's your win?
What do you mean?
345
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,439
Stop trying to sort
every bugger else out
346
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,599
and think about yourself for once.
347
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,439
I am.
348
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,399
Fancied the pants off him
in them suits.
349
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,959
That'll make me happy, don't you
worry. Very bloody happy,
350
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,119
thank you very much.
He does not look good in a fleece.
351
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,919
What bugger does?!
352
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,600
THEY CHUCKLE
Aw, cheers, mate.
353
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,800
WHIRRING
354
00:15:43,801 --> 00:15:46,719
Hey, thanks again
for doing this, Tom.
355
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,799
And remember - not a word
to your mam.
356
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,559
I won't be telling no-one.
357
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,359
She'll lose her shit
if she finds out you're here.
358
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,879
What about Sandy? How's he?
What about him?!
359
00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:02,159
I bet he is swanning around
like a cock of the walk, eh?
360
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,919
I don't know. That man needs
knocking down a peg or two,
361
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,639
I'll tell you that for nothing.
362
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,439
Dad...I'm not arsed.
363
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:10,559
I just sell shit.
364
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,759
Sell shit?!
That's not the attitude, Tom.
365
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,519
You'll never make middle management.
366
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,919
Couldn't give a toss, to be fair.
367
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,279
That's your problem.
That's YOUR problem.
368
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,759
I mean, what can I do?
I'm a dad now.
369
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,039
I am proud of you, Tom.
370
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:29,399
Your priorities are Craigy,
the one on the way, and Julie now.
371
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,839
Still can't get me head
round that one.
372
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,479
Anyway, what I'm saying is,
your own happiness comes last
373
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,639
when you're a dad.
374
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,560
Is that why you slept with
me mam's sister for 25 years?
375
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,720
Touche, Tom. Touche.
376
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,279
I'm hardly a role model.
377
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,199
Course you are, Dad. Don't be daft.
378
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,999
Where do you keep the stamps, eh?
379
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,720
I think Julie has some in her desk.
380
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,359
Wahey! Finders keepers.
381
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:57,680
Nice.
382
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,119
Coopers & Co?
383
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,319
Right, come on.
Let's get you out of here.
384
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,000
Yeah. Did you get a stamp? Yeah.
385
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,280
Ah! You hooked it, you pillock.
386
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,880
There he is.
387
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,200
Sandy!
388
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,159
Sandy!
MARTIN CLEARS HIS THROAT
389
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,119
Sandy! Martin Parker.
390
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,719
Nice wheels.
391
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,239
New job? I know all about
your master plan, Cooper.
392
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,999
I don't know what the hell
you're on about. Come off it!
393
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,319
Don't piss down me neck
and tell me it's raining.
394
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,079
Diane might let you walk all over
her, but I'll be damned if I will.
395
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,199
You're bloody tapped, you.
396
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,479
I mean, what the hell's
this Coopers & Co?
397
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,639
Oh, yeah, ain't nothing escapes me.
398
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,279
Walls have ears.
399
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,399
My business is my business.
400
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,839
Well, technically,
it's my business, pal.
401
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,959
Well, technically, it isn't any
more, and you're not my pal, Martin.
402
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,839
In fact, I'd be surprised
if you had any pals left.
403
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,439
I've got loads of pals, thank you.
404
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,760
Bullshit. Name one.
405
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,399
See? No-one wants a bar of you.
No-one wants a bar of YOU.
406
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:19,479
Says who? People! What, all the
grannies at your old fogies' home?
407
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,999
You're toxic, Parker!
Come on, fellas. Calm down, eh?
408
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,039
You can piss off, too!
409
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,239
Martin Parker, here he is, lads.
True colours coming out now.
410
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,719
Watch it, Cooper.
411
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:34,039
Watch it. I will not stand by
and let you kill off my family name.
412
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,439
You already killed it.
413
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,639
If you'd spent a bit more time
on your business
414
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,439
and a bit less time playing away
with that bimbo of yours,
415
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,359
we wouldn't be having this
conversation. Watch it!
416
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,839
You need to keep the mad bitch
on a lead!
417
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,959
What are you doing?!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Martin! Martin!
418
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,199
We don't want any trouble, eh?
419
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,279
No, we don't want to do
anything stupid
420
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:55,000
and be forced to go into hiding
at the Lucky Panda...again.
421
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,039
Very sad.
422
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,599
Face it, Parker.
423
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,760
You're done.
424
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,800
Come on, lads. Get off me.
425
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,199
Well, Uncle Dennis and Auntie Rose
are not going to like this.
426
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,919
They were furious when I wore
a pant suit to their Emma's wedding.
427
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,399
Christ knows what this
will do to them.
428
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,239
I don't want a load
of oldies at my party.
429
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,279
Right, you can bring balloons,
but no banners.
430
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,559
They fuck up the wallpaper.
431
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,319
And where will you be
putting the buffet?
432
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,199
We don't do food, love.
If you want to bring your own,
433
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,239
we can pop a trestle table over
there, next to the fag machine.
434
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,559
No buffet?! It's an 18th!
435
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:38,759
Well, don't blame me.
Blame the health inspectors.
436
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,319
This is a dive.
437
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,440
Well, I think it's cool.
438
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,039
Matthew does drag on Sundays.
439
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:51,279
Yeah, and line dancing on Mondays,
if you're so inclined.
440
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,079
So, it's just the �30 deposit
for today.
441
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,040
We're just waiting for her dad.
My husband. My ex-husband.
442
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,120
Oh, come on, Martin.
443
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,320
I don't think he's coming, love.
444
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,439
Was he always this flaky,
your ex-husband?
445
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,959
You could say that.
Aw, you deserve better than that.
446
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,279
You're gorgeous.
447
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,679
You should get back on the horse.
448
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,759
Oh, well, um...
449
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:19,239
..funnily enough, um... Go on.
450
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:24,079
..a gentleman friend dropped
a CD round at the shop earlier.
451
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,679
Burnt it specially for me.
452
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,679
Thing is, the songs,
they're so erotic.
453
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,919
Oh, God, it feel's weird
saying this out loud,
454
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,119
but I think he might
actually like me...a bit.
455
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,839
That's foreplay!
456
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,919
Ask him out. Grab that bull
by his horn. Oh, no, no.
457
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,639
No, I couldn't do that, Matthew. No.
458
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,839
And why not? You, my darling,
can do whatever you like.
459
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:44,920
Yeah, you're right.
460
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,279
Yeah! Yeah, I can.
461
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,999
Well, do it now! Now?!
Now, while you're all fired up.
462
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,919
Oh! Really?! Yes, really.
463
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,399
Glasses. Oh!
464
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,759
OK.
465
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,639
I've got it somewhere.
What is it? Hayes.
466
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,159
Hayes, Hayes, Hayes.
467
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,799
Oh, wish me luck.
468
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,400
I can't believe I'm doing this.
469
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,559
PHONE RINGS
Mr Skip, Vinnie Hayes speaking.
470
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,119
Oh, hi, Vinnie, it's Diane here.
Diane Parker.
471
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,760
Parker's Electricals. Diane!
472
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,199
Just been thinking about you.
473
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,919
Were you? Yeah.
474
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,879
Hey, I take it
you've heard about Martin
475
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,959
and Sandy's ding-dong
at the golf club earlier?
476
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,399
What ding-dong?
477
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,399
Big ding-dong. Oh!
478
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,119
Martin was proper kicking off.
479
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,719
Raging like a bullmastiff.
Holy moley!
480
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,119
WHISPERS: Ask him out!
Oh, yeah.
481
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,519
No, I was just ringing, um...
482
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,559
I was just wondering if you...
well, if you fancied...
483
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,399
..just...just going for a drink
with me sometime,
484
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,599
but you probably won't want to.
485
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,959
Yes, I do want to, Di.
486
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,080
Very much so.
487
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:50,719
Hello?
488
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,119
Di? Still there?
489
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:53,959
Yes, I'm still here, Vinnie. Sorry.
490
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,960
This is all new to me.
491
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,839
Don't worry about it, Di.
Just like riding a bike.
492
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,399
Copacabana, seven o'clock. Oh!
493
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,470
See you there? Oh, right, yes, yes,
see you, then. Bye, Vinnie.
494
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:14,239
I think I just grabbed
the bull, Matthew.
495
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,400
MUSIC: She Drives Me Crazy
Fine Young Cannibals
496
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,959
I mean, how would you feel?
497
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,559
Imagine somebody coming in here,
shouting the odds
498
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,159
and trying to take your family name
off the business.
499
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,159
Well, technically, it's not your
family name. You're not the Pandas.
500
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,839
I don't even know if you're lucky.
But you know what I mean, Chen.
501
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,719
You need to move on, Martin.
502
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,039
You can't live in the past.
503
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,239
It's like what my old grandfather
used to say.
504
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,719
It takes two to tango and
only one person to fuck up a conga.
505
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,120
That don't make any sense.
506
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,039
He quit his job.
507
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,360
He only started it yesterday.
508
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,559
Bye. Bye.
509
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,840
MUSIC: Movin' On Up
by Primal Scream
510
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,479
All right?
511
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,080
Lucky Panda for Mic.
512
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:30,600
Jesus!
513
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,720
DOG BARKS
Oh, Jesus!
514
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,799
Easy, Samson!
515
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,759
He can smell your kung pao.
516
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,919
Hey? Are you coming in or what?
I've not got all day. Oh, yeah.
517
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,359
I've got a takeaway for Mic.
518
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:47,679
What kept you?
I could eat a scabby rat.
519
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,359
Oh, are you Mic?
520
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,039
Well done. Give that man a balloon.
521
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,919
Sorry, love. I thought
you'd be a bloke.
522
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,279
I thought you'd be Chinese.
Life's a lottery.
523
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,119
Has he got you doing all
the hard work, has he?
524
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,199
He? Who's he?
525
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,279
Oh, aye.
I see you're one of those.
526
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,279
Men like you make my foot itch.
527
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,879
What's that, love? If you can wrap
your pretty little head
528
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,999
round this, sunshine,
I run my own business.
529
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,359
Me, on my lonesome.
530
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:15,959
Yeah, you heard.
531
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,279
I'm in charge, I call the shots,
532
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,479
and I even have men
bringing me food.
533
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:22,959
Who'd have thought?
534
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,359
Let me get your money.
535
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:28,999
Wahey! Plenty of money
in the solarium business, then, eh?
536
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,279
Is there balls.
537
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,079
Mic's got her fingers in many pies.
538
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,799
Sales is my main game.
539
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,399
Let me tell you this, sweetheart.
540
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,079
I started with a few quid less
than sod all, just my wits
541
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,959
and a bigger pair of balls than
any man inside the M60 corridor.
542
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,839
Within a year, I was running
a team of 24 -
543
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,279
all men, by the way -
right across the region.
544
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,919
This is fate, Mic.
Do you believe in fate?
545
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,359
Do I fuck.
546
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,919
Well, whatever. Either way,
this is your lucky day.
547
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,279
I've got a free litre bottle
of lemonade with every order.
548
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:03,760
AND I'm just the fella
you're looking for, Mic.
549
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,879
Oh, hiya!
550
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,119
Come and give your Auntie Kath
a big fat snuggle.
551
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,719
Aw, mwah.
552
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,359
It's made my day, this.
553
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,519
How's little baby Craig? Good, yeah.
554
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,399
Mum's not here.
It's not your mum I'm after!
555
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,439
Where's Sandy? How would I know?
I'm not his keeper.
556
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,719
Sorry. Me ankles have ballooned
and I've got mad cravings.
557
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,959
Don't ever get pregnant, Kath.
It's horrific.
558
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,759
OK, thanks. Oh, sorry, Kath.
559
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,319
It's all right. My nan had a baby
when she was ancient.
560
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:33,959
She was well in her 30s
when she had my mum,
561
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,800
so you never know.
562
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,079
Can you not just phone Sandy?
563
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,879
Er, he won't want to speak
to you, Kath.
564
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,959
I really need to speak to him.
I've got a great idea.
565
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,399
Not going to be back here today.
566
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,319
I was going to ask him
to get your dad a job here.
567
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,879
He'd love that! Are you joking?
Here?
568
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,519
He would NOT love that. Hmm.
I think you're wrong, Tom.
569
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,799
He misses the hustle and bustle
of a busy shop floor.
570
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,799
You see, he's like me.
He's a people person.
571
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,879
And I really, really need
to get him a job.
572
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,519
PHONE RINGS
So, come on, where's Sandy?
573
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,760
PHONE CONTINUES RINGING
574
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:11,959
Are you going to get it or...?
575
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,610
Oh, I don't need to.
It answers itself. It's brilliant.
576
00:26:14,611 --> 00:26:19,239
ANSWERPHONE: Thank you for calling
Parker's Power and Electricals.
577
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,239
We're busy selling top-quality
electrical goods right now...
578
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,559
Parker's! ..so please leave
a message after the beep.
579
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:25,999
ANSWERPHONE BEEPS
She always used to do that
580
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,159
when we were little. Dickhead.
Oh, God's sake.
581
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,679
Julie, send my dry cleaning
to the Grand Hotel.
582
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,399
And answer the bloody phone!
583
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,000
It's good. Good. Lovely.
584
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:37,719
Going to skedaddle. Love you!
585
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,480
See you later, Kath. Grand.
586
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,360
Right, then, sweet cheeks.
Let's see what you're made of.
587
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,919
There you go. Have you done
sales before?
588
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,879
MARTIN LAUGHS
589
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,200
Have I done sales before,
she says!
590
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,759
Yes, yes, I have.
591
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,959
I actually have a CV out in the van.
592
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,799
Not interested in any of that crap.
I go by gut instinct.
593
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:06,239
Music to my ears, Mic.
Kindred spirit.
594
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,399
I used to own a chain
of electrical shops.
595
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,679
Name above the door.
596
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,999
You probably saw my ad -
"What an offer!" - on TV?
597
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,079
Nope.
598
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,559
Too busy grafting to watch telly.
599
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,439
Although I do like the one
with the chimps flogging tea.
600
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,039
CHUCKLES: They move a piano.
601
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,479
Piss funny.
602
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,239
Is your ad anything like that?
603
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,199
No. Go on, then. Impress me.
604
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,599
Flirt with me.
605
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,519
Get my juices flowing.
606
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,879
Sell the sizzle, not the sausage.
607
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,040
MARTIN CLEARS HIS THROAT
608
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,399
You look like a lady
who likes her leather.
609
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:46,400
MUSIC: Suicide Blonde
by INXS
610
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,599
WOLF-WHISTLE
611
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,119
Well, I hope that was as good
for you as it was for me.
612
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:55,839
Yeah, you're good.
Yeah, yeah. It felt good. Yeah.
613
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,759
How's about I start you
on 15 boxes and see how you go?
614
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,839
Oh, that is fantastic, Mic.
Thank you.
615
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:06,039
Is it Michaela? Michelle? Micole?
616
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,199
It's Mic.
617
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,599
No matter, Mic. That's great.
618
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,839
Thank you. I won't let you down.
619
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:11,199
I know you won't.
620
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,119
Oh, and word to the wise. I don't
respond well to bullshitters,
621
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,639
time-wasters or wolf-whistles.
622
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,079
Don't say I didn't warn you.
623
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,719
I consider myself warned.
624
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,360
Welcome to the team. Thank you.
625
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,319
Sandy!
626
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:29,880
Sandy!
627
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,239
Hell!
628
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,000
Listen, tell Diane I've spoken
to Clive Squires. OK?
629
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:37,640
Oh!
630
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:43,159
Oh, bugger me. Not you, Julie.
Sandy!
631
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,399
Sandy, can I have...can I have
a word? No!
632
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,359
Just two minutes. I just need to ask
you something. It's nothing,
633
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,519
it's nothing. Sandy! Right, this is
really important, OK, Julie?
634
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,159
Microwaves. Microwaves? Yeah.
635
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:57,839
Tell them every washing machine
needs a microwave on.
636
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,879
Jesus!
637
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,799
Fuck a duck.
638
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,279
You'd better phone Diane.
639
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,999
I think I've just run over Kath.
640
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,399
Kath?
641
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:09,639
Kath!
642
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,159
Oh, my God!
643
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:12,839
Oh, my God!
644
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,399
WAILS: Kath!
645
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,759
# You wanna make her
646
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:17,810
# Suicide blonde
647
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,439
# Love devastation
648
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,040
# Suicide blonde
649
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,679
# You wanna make her
650
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,799
# Suicide blonde
651
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,319
# Love devastation
652
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:29,880
# Suicide blonde
653
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:35,730
# You wanna make. #
654
00:29:35,770 --> 00:29:40,320
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