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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,599 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,519 ..this side of the Pennines. That's the power of Parker. 3 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,039 It's all about image in my game... 4 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,559 People look up to you, you know, they've got 5 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,199 a lot of respect for you. How dare you vandalise the Merc! 6 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,399 Martin Parker, Parker's Electricals. 7 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,199 Sleeping with two sisters, from the same family. 8 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,679 Bloody hell, Di... 9 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,999 Let's run away together. 10 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,119 What about Diane? 11 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,319 He's my husband. 12 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,319 He thinks you're disgusting. 13 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,439 Yeah! Cos I paid for those ears! 14 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,999 Oh, here he is, the gobshite who can't keep his mucky hands 15 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,879 off both my daughters. 16 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,119 I think I hate him. I hate him, if you hate him. I do. 17 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,199 Sisters. 18 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,519 You could force him out. 19 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,799 You'd own Parker's outright. 20 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,399 It's too late, Martin. 21 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,279 We're in charge now. 22 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,560 I'm no good to anyone. 23 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,200 Everyone would be better off without me. 24 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,000 Lucky Panda Banquet for Two. 25 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,399 Enjoy this trip. 26 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,159 Enjoy this trip. 27 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,000 And it is a trip. 28 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,279 The countdown is progressing. 29 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:12,880 Uno, dos, uno dos tres, quatro. 30 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,240 # S'Express 31 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,920 # S'Express 32 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,399 # Come on and listen to me, baby now, ooh 33 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:36,080 # Come on and listen to me, baby now, ooh 34 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:41,199 # Come on and listen to me, baby now, ooh 35 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,190 # Come on and listen to me, baby now, ooh 36 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,359 # I've got the hots for you 37 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,599 # Boop boop b-boop bep b-bep ah-ah 38 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,599 # I've got the hots for you 39 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,079 # Boop boop b-bep boop boop b-bep bep 40 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,359 # I've got the hots for you 41 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,839 # Boop boop b-boop bep b-bep ah-ah. # 42 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,039 Just before you go guys, I want to say thank you. 43 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,079 A brilliant day again today. 44 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,399 The figures speak for themselves, I couldn't be happier. 45 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,239 You look nice, Mrs Parker. What you all dressed up for? 46 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,159 The do! What do? 47 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,759 The Stockport Trade Awards, you put it in my diary. 48 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,919 It's none of my business what you and Sandy get up to. 49 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,359 Julie, you're our secretary! 50 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,999 Well, it sounds fancy, whatever it is. 51 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,679 Sounds shit. It is NOT shit, thank you. 52 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,279 Sandy says it's the biggest event in the business calendar. 53 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,239 Anyone who's anyone'll be there. What, like celebrities and that? 54 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,759 There won't be celebrities around here. 55 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:28,959 Might be. 56 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,359 Gary's mum saw Trevor McDonald 57 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,159 queueing up for verruca socks in Boots. 58 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,719 Wasn't he, Gary? Eh? 59 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,039 Wasn't Trevor McDonald buying verruca socks in Boots?! 60 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,159 Yeah. Two packs. She said he puts that posh voice on for the telly. 61 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,519 He's a Geordie in real life. 62 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,279 Well, I don't think there'll be any celebrities there per se, 63 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,319 probably just your local dignitaries and whatnot. 64 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,559 But you know, I'm quite excited. 65 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,279 And just a little bit nervous! 66 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,719 In case, you know... 67 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,359 In case what? Well, in case we win. 68 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,079 Hmm. See, I reckon smart money's 69 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,879 on the satellite dish lads from Woodley. 70 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,159 Oh, well, yes, they've had a very good year. 71 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,679 Dishes everywhere. But you never know. 72 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,559 Oh... You'd have to do a speech, Mum. 73 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,119 Oh, yes, eek! But it'll just be a... 74 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,639 A few words, couple of thank yous, nothing to get stressed about. 75 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:14,079 I'd be bricking it. All those people gawping at me, 76 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,119 wishing they'd won instead of me, hating me, wishing I was dead. 77 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,719 Thank you, Julie! And imagine if you don't win. 78 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,239 Embarrassing. 79 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,439 What's the point? It's a waste of a night. 80 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,359 Nah, not for me, I'd rather stay at home, thanks. 81 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,079 Yeah, would you? PHONE RINGS 82 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,679 Hey, Tom. 83 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,559 What have I said? Hands off, not in the store. 84 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,239 We are not a dance hall! Dance Hall... 85 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:35,520 How old? 86 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,919 GIGGLING 87 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,639 Julie? What? Phone! 88 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,639 I've not finished my cupcake. I've not finished MY cupcake. 89 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,359 RECORDED MESSAGE: Thank you for calling 90 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,799 Parkers Power and Electricals. 91 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,639 We've been selling top quality electrical goods for... 92 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,959 Cheapest prices this side of the Pennines. 93 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,720 That's the power of Parker. 94 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,359 Look, he's not even moved from that settee, has he?! 95 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,719 Here, make yourself useful... Oh... There you go. 96 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,119 Watch this, Craig, eh? 97 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,840 Nearly breaks his bastard back, piss funny! 98 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:14,840 I mean, who wears flippers on a kiddies roundabout? Rigged! 99 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,399 Martin! What? 100 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:20,999 Ashtray! What? 101 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,159 I haven't got time to be hoovering around, after you, I'm already late. 102 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,039 Late for what? Where you going? 103 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,839 Dad's. Well, that won't take all night. 104 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,239 Yeah, and then I've got a bit of work...stuff. 105 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,599 What, tonight? I've rented us Backdraft. 106 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,319 God sake, Kath, we've been on a waiting list for this. 107 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,559 It's fine. You two watch it. I've got to go, I promised. 108 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,920 Who'd you promise? 109 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,359 Nelly. 110 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,079 Nelly? Who's Nelly? You've never mentioned a Nelly before. 111 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,079 I have, Nelly...Gleeson. 112 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,879 Talked about her loads. 113 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,679 Well, why's she having her hair done late at night? 114 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,519 Just because she's... 115 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,599 She's having her cataract done in the morning, 116 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,239 and she wants to look right. 117 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,159 Right? You're too soft, Kath, you let them walk all over you. 118 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,800 And we need tea bags. 119 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,159 Hey, I hope this Nelly Gleeson's paying you an out-of-hour rate. 120 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,839 They're threatening to turn off our leccy. 121 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,039 Well, what are you doing about it? 122 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,159 I told you I'm waiting for Jonesy to get back to me, he'll come through. 123 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,439 Well, none of the others did. 124 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,319 For God's sake, I'm doing me bloody best, Kath. 125 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,439 Are you? You're too bloody picky, that's your problem. 126 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:30,679 Am I, hell? I'm Martin Parker. I can't do any ole job, can I? 127 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,079 Well, you're going to have to, cos we need the money. 128 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,599 I've told you Bev's always wanting to take people on at the home. 129 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,119 She'll sort us out. 130 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,879 The home? As if! I have some standards, thank you. 131 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,039 See? Too picky. 132 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,719 Right, enjoy your film. 133 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,199 Daily Mail gave it five stars. Your loss. 134 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,279 Love you. 135 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,880 Ah, you too. 136 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,479 Oh, God, Alison, you gave me the fright of my life! 137 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,599 Sorry, Mrs P. Kim. Can you give us a lift home, Mum? 138 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,759 Kim's lost her bus pass again. 139 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,599 Oh, love, I've not got time. 140 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,119 It's the Stockport Trade Awards tonight, 141 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,239 I did put it on the family calendar. 142 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,599 Oh, well, I'm sorry if that's more important to you than our safety. 143 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,159 That's not what I said. 144 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,479 Look, I'm running late as it is, I'm going to miss the beginning. 145 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,959 Fine, we'll walk all the way home through the park in the dark, 146 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,879 past the winos. Hope we don't sex trafficked. 147 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,320 Fine, get in. 148 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,919 DOORBELL RINGS 149 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:42,079 Hello! Oh, God! I'm just using your loo, Mr Parker. 150 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,279 Hi, Dad. You all right, son, how was work? 151 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,599 Yeah. Same old shit. 152 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,559 RETCHING UPSTAIRS 153 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,719 Julie's rough as. Dodgy Scotch Egg, Mr Parker. 154 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,439 Yeah, cos you scoffed a pack of 12 on the way here. 155 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,719 Baby likes Scotch Eggs, Tom! She's eating like a pig. 156 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,439 I can hear you, knobhead! 157 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,439 Oh, er... Cheers for looking after him. 158 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,399 He's no bother. He loves spending time with his Grandpops, don't you? 159 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,519 No, put that away. Things aren't that bad. 160 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:10,719 I know, but we really appreciate it. We'd be lost without you, 161 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,479 wouldn't we? Oh, that was close. 162 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,359 Yeah. Are you going to stay for a bit? I've got Backdraft. 163 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:15,960 Me too, both ends. 164 00:07:15,961 --> 00:07:19,079 No, the film. I've been on the waiting list. 165 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,679 Oh, is Kath in? 166 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,479 No, she's at work. I'll leave it then, ta. 167 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,079 It's dead handy, you not working. 168 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,439 Yeah, well... 169 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,999 Just temporary. 170 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,399 Nearly two years. 171 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,519 SHE SNIFFS 172 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,399 Oh, no, that's vile! 173 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,870 That's making me gag, he needs changing, Martin. 174 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,800 What have you been feeding him? 175 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,079 Aw! RETCHING UPSTAIRS 176 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,840 You'll have two to look after soon. 177 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:48,559 Hiya, Dad. 178 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,159 Hey... Brought you your tea. 179 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,039 Oh, thank you. 180 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,799 Ooh... Where you going, all dolled up? 181 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,159 I'm out on the razz. 182 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,599 Oh, good for you. 183 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,479 How you getting on with your packing? 184 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,919 Do you want me to get Martin to take those bin bags to the tip for you? 185 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,479 No, I'm not chucking anything. 186 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,159 And you can keep him away from here. 187 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,679 This is all his fault. 188 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,399 How the hell's this Martin's fault? It's the council chucking you out, 189 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,719 it's nothing to do with him. 190 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,680 Yeah. Him and his sodding Tory mates. 191 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,679 50-year, I've lived in this house. 192 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,239 Never missed me rent. 193 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,079 Always paid me stamp. 194 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,319 They can't make me go. 195 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,679 Well, they kind of can, Dad. 196 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,279 Yeah, cos they don't give a toss for people like me. 197 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:31,159 Compulsory purchase order, my eye. 198 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,239 They're just making stuff up... 199 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,279 Well, you're the last one standing now. 200 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,599 Shaggy Annie, she's gone. Him with no teeth, gone. 201 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,599 Even the squatters at number seven, they've moved out. 202 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,399 Yeah, that were a shame, they threw some cracking parties. 203 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,359 You're just going to have to move in with our Diane. 204 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,719 At Buckingham Palace? She makes me take me shoes off! 205 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,239 N-O spells no. 206 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,599 Well, me and Martin ain't got the room. Good! 207 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,279 I don't want to live with that gobshite. 208 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,999 Well you're going to have to do summat, Dad, 209 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,759 cos it's too short notice to get you in at OakVista now. 210 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,079 I'm not living with oldies. I'd rather be homeless. 211 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,639 Well, you technically will be, cos you've got to be out by Monday. 212 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,120 I'm sorry... I ju... I just want what's best for you. 213 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,239 Here, stick some hot water on that. 214 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,400 Enjoy your tea. 215 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:15,960 Ooh... 216 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,599 SCREAMS ON TV 217 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,519 Oh, God, I'm not enjoying this. 218 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,879 That's got to be burning... 219 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,480 PHONE RINGS 220 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,919 Martin, Martin Parker. 221 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,399 Jonesy! I knew you wouldn't let me down. 222 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,799 Good to speak to you, old pal. How's the er... 223 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,960 Yeah, yeah. 224 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:44,159 You're busy, yeah, I'm sorry... No, it's just... 225 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,759 TOY SQUEAKS 226 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,320 Ooh... No, but what if something else comes up...? 227 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,530 It won't? 228 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:56,520 Look, Jonesy, you're my last chance. I am begging you, here. 229 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,050 No. 230 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,679 Right, yeah, I get it. 231 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,799 But what if I... DIALLING TONE 232 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,599 Hello? 233 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,800 Hello? 234 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:12,730 TOY SQUEAKS 235 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,039 Oh, for fuck's sake! 236 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,999 # Ay-ay, aya 237 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,159 # Ay-ay, aya 238 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,519 # Ay-ay, aya 239 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,079 # Ay-ay-aya 240 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,519 # Ay-ay, aya 241 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,039 # Ay-ay, aya I... 242 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,479 # Ay-ay, aya 243 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,319 # Ay-ay-aya Something ain't right 244 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,199 # Ay-ay, aya 245 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,039 # Ay-ay, aya 246 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,439 # Gonna get myself, gonna get myself 247 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,479 # Gonna get myself connected 248 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,039 # I ain't gonna go blind 249 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,159 # From a light that's being reflected 250 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,599 # See through you 251 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,639 # I see through you 252 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,319 # I see through you 253 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,839 # I see through you 254 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,239 # Your dirty tricks 255 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,319 # They make me sick 256 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,799 # I see through you 257 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,719 # I see through you 258 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,359 # Gonna do it again 259 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,410 # Gonna do it again 260 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,039 # I... Do it again 261 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,719 # I gotta do it again 262 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,799 # I... # 263 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:25,239 You're late, you've already missed the comic, cracking impressions. 264 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,199 Honest to God, his Rolf Harris was like he was in the room! 265 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,119 AS ROLF: Can you tell what it is yet? 266 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,559 Leave it, Des. I'm so sorry, I was late getting out of the store. 267 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,239 Gary had a dust buster incident, 268 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,399 and then I've had to drop Alison off with her... 269 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,239 ..friend Kim, I didn't know where the time went. 270 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,799 It just... Look at you, you've really done yourself up, 271 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,999 haven't you? Very fancy. 272 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,159 You look like you're going to a Miss World pageant. 273 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,399 Aw... Thank you, Sandy! 274 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,959 MUTTERING: If one of the judges was Danny La Rue. 275 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,959 HE CHUCKLES 276 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,799 Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. 277 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,479 I believe my managerial skills and my eye for... 278 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,200 Yeah, yeah, cut the crap, Martin. OK. 279 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,599 Well, go on, then, tell me why I should give you a job here? 280 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,839 I'll be straight with you, Bev, 281 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,440 we both know I'm overqualified for this. 282 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,479 Cocky, aren't we? 283 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,919 All right then, clever dick, what do your qualifications tell you, if one 284 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,559 of your resident's as had a nasty fall, but you're on breakfast duty 285 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,239 and you've got 30-odd hungry pensioners screaming blue murder? 286 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,599 Right, erm... Well, I'd get the old dear back on her feet... 287 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,439 Uh-uh! Wrong! You want to tell me why? 288 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,919 Er... I don't know, erm... 289 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,559 Erm! Erm! Erm! Martin, we've no time to dawdle, 290 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:41,599 you've got a pensioner on her back and your bacon's burning. 291 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,999 Oh, get the other brekkies sorted? 292 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,279 No! You report it to a senior member of the team. 293 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,599 I was going to say that. 294 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,279 You've not had your heavy lifting training, Martin. 295 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,119 You could pull out her hip. I see. Go on. 296 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,039 Lift this chair up and I'll tell you what you're doing wrong. 297 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,399 Go on. 298 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,759 Look, Bev, I'm desperate. 299 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,639 Please. I'm on the bones of me arse here, 300 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,879 and desperate times calls for desperate measures. 301 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,119 And that's my problem how? 302 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,559 They've cut-off me leccy and when Kath find's out that won't be 303 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,879 the only thing cut off, believe me. 304 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,760 Don't do it for me, do it for Kath. 305 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,279 Right, you can start tonight. 306 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,959 Yes! It's �2.50 an hour and we provide you with one fleece. 307 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,279 Oh... But if you lose it, you pay for a replacement. 308 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,799 Get it? All right. 309 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,999 You better take these and all. Eh? 310 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,359 Nothing worse than getting shit under your finger nails. 311 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,359 Well, go on then, off you pop. 312 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:37,679 Come on. Left or right? To the right. Right... 313 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,159 # We've been broken down... # 314 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,679 ALL: Yes! 315 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:45,919 There they are, the haulage lads, state of them. 316 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,959 If they win again this year, I'm going to be having words. 317 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,999 Rigged! What's Tommy Walsh come as? 318 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,159 Poor man's Timmy Mallet... He's married a bird from London. 319 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,479 Well, that'll explain the outfit, then. 320 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,839 Hey, Diane, you've done all right for yourself, haven't you? 321 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,399 Since the big fire? Beg your pardon? 322 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,759 Summat queer going on there. 323 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,919 What happened eh? There's been rumours. 324 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,079 And all the rumours are true, pal. 325 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,119 Been through the mill, this one. Tell them. 326 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,319 I'd rather not talk about it. 327 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,439 Old girl thought he'd topped himself in that fire, didn't you? 328 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,599 Please, let's not do this again, Sandy. It's a party! 329 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,119 Was about to claim on his life insurance, weren't you? 330 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,159 But her secretary, Julie, forgot to send the forms in! 331 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,079 Bloody hell, what a cock up! No, it's a good job they didn't. 332 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,559 She'd have been done for fraud! 333 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,119 Cos it turns out, 334 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:31,319 me laddo's been living the life of Riley above the Lucky Panda. 335 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,479 They don't want to hear all this. It's very boring. 336 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:37,079 Pretending to be dead and eating Chicken Chow Mein three times a day, 337 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,199 by all accounts. 338 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,559 Three Chow Meins a day! 339 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,239 He must have been the size of a house. 340 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,599 Too much, that. Never been a fan of a Chow Mein, me. 341 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,640 Anyway, you'll never guess who bailed her out... 342 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,239 Only yours truly! 343 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,559 Yeah, she was going to lose it all 344 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,679 until I came along and invested in the business. 345 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,760 Time and money. 346 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,279 Some people might say I've saved her bacon. 347 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,639 Isn't that right, Diane? Excuse me, gentleman. 348 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,280 Oh... 349 00:15:08,281 --> 00:15:12,439 It's posh here, isn't it? We're the only women here. 350 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,279 Oh, God, get treated like pieces of meat. 351 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,639 Eyes and hands all over us. 352 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,120 Touch wood... 353 00:15:19,121 --> 00:15:22,639 That bin's for clinical waste, staff kitchen up there. 354 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,639 No fish in the microwave, bring your own mug. 355 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,679 Don't knock on number nine after 12, 356 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,399 if you're going in there, make sure there's two of you, 357 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,239 Annie Woodward does not do mornings or pleasantries. 358 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,479 If it smells, report it, if not clean it up. 359 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,560 Any questions? No? Good. 360 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,399 Look at us, business ladies. Business, business, business. 361 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,599 Buy, sell, buy, sell. AMERICAN: Would you like a coffee? 362 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,880 Get me that bag. Stop it, you wally! 363 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,519 Can't believe you're up for an award, Di, it's amazing. 364 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,159 I'm dead proud of you. Didn't have a clue what to wear though. 365 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,439 Do I look all right? Yeah. 366 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,959 Just dropped some tea off at dad's before I came here. 367 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,079 Still hasn't done a thing about his packing, you know. 368 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,839 Oh, I know, what did you make him? Bombay Badboy. 369 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,559 Oh, for goodness' sake, Kath. 370 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,519 Well, it won't be me scrubbing that toilet tomorrow, 371 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,519 I'll tell you that for nothing. 372 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,399 Martin's watching Backdraft. Told him I was working. 373 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,119 Oh, you're allowed to go out. 374 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,399 Why do you keep lying to him all the time? 375 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,679 Well, I have to. Lose his shit 376 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,559 if he thought I was here at a fancy business do with you. 377 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,999 Excuse me, service. He hates it that we're friends now. 378 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,799 Well, he needs to grow up. 379 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,479 Aww! He's just dead down, Di. 380 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,559 I mean, I love the bones of him, you know that, but... 381 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,359 Bloody hell, it's hard work living together, isn't it? 382 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,439 And he doesn't do a tap. Never did. 383 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,559 Slobs about... 384 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,919 He sheds like a Collie. I know, I've already broke three hoovers. 385 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,999 Hello! Oh, this is ridiculous, I might as well be invisible. 386 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,919 It's mad, cos he used to be like right randy all the time, 387 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,919 now he doesn't want to do anything... 388 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,959 I don't think it's me or owt, I think 389 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,719 he's just a bit depressed, you know, with not working and everything. 390 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,239 I read that things like that effect a man's doodah, doesn't it? 391 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,519 Does it? It does, apparently. 392 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,159 God, I miss the old Martin. 393 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,559 Good evening. I'm Martin. Martin Parker. 394 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,239 You all right, mate? You new? 395 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,719 Yep, first night. 396 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,759 It's only temporary, in between jobs. 397 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,959 That's what I said, been here nearly two years, now. 398 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,439 It's brilliant, I've never had so much fanny. 399 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,960 Chicks dig a man in uniform. 400 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,639 Er, do you know where Nelly Gleeson's room is? 401 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,799 38 C. 402 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,439 Hang on, I know your face. How do I know your face? 403 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,919 I know you. 404 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,239 You're that old fella who died in the fire, aren't you? 405 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,079 Yeah, I'm just, err, popping to see Fanny... 406 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,159 Nelly, I'm actually looking for my Kath actually, thank you. 407 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,640 Telly shop, wasn't it? Yes, that's right. 408 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,679 What are you doing here? I was just, er... 409 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,559 Oh, bloody hell, Martin! You're on minibus duty. 410 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,159 Eh? Bingo run. 411 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,759 Saleem's DJing tonight in Rotherham, he's at an illegal rave. 412 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,519 Oh, well, I'll only just be two sec... No, hurry up, 413 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,319 they're freezing their tits off outside Mecca Bingo. 414 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,199 They'll catch their death, and I can't be fagged with paperwork. 415 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,039 All right. Go on, shift your arse. Yeah. 416 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,639 I'm doing you a favour here, remember. 417 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,999 Yeah, I know you are. Prick. 418 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,039 Is anyone going to serve us? Oh, look, meat raffle. 419 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,119 I love chops. 420 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,119 You're going to have to sub me Di, I've only got 76p 421 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:22,559 and a coupon for Mellow Birds. 422 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,399 I thought it'd be a free bar. For goodness' sake, Kath. 423 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,359 You love me really. 424 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,839 Ey, up, Diane. Oh, hi, Vinnie. 425 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,439 Here, let me get these... All right, mate? Yes, sir. 426 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,839 What are you having, ladies? 427 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,519 Er, two Archers and lemonades, please. 428 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,959 Doubles. And half a lager chaser. 429 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,359 Di, do you want half a lager chaser? No, thank you. 430 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,639 Just one half a lager chaser, and whatever you're having. 431 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,759 You heard the lady. 432 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,040 Lady... 433 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,119 I'm Diane's sister, Kath. 434 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,519 So I've heard. Lovely to meet you, Kathy. 435 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,559 Kath. Kath. 436 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:56,079 Hey, er, do you want to go and sit down? I'll bring the drinks over. 437 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,559 Oh! Thank you very much, very kind. 438 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,640 Thanks. 439 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,479 Frig me, he is fit! Who's he? 440 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,959 Oh, it's Mr Skip. 441 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,759 Vinnie Hayes. He owns the largest Skip Hire Fleet in the North West. 442 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:09,999 He's a lovely man. 443 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,999 Isn't he just! You are getting shagged tonight, lady. 444 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,719 Oh, don't be stupid! 445 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,199 The way he was looking at you! 446 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,959 You're going to be climbing that fella like a fucking ladder. 447 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:21,079 Kath! He's a got a very young, and very beautiful wife at home. 448 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,679 She's very young. So there is absolutely no chance 449 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,279 he would be interested in someone like me. 450 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,279 She's very young. And she's very young! 451 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,359 He's a happily married man... Oh, so what? 452 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:31,759 I'm not you, Kath. Come on. 453 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,119 Charming. 454 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,439 Please welcome to the stage tonight, your host for the evening, 455 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,040 Mr Colin Homey. 456 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,919 Good evening and welcome to the 1992 457 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,919 Stockport Trade Awards, 458 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,319 sponsored by Clarke's Pies. 459 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,719 Big hand for Des Clarkson. Thank you, Des. 460 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:52,959 Thank you. 461 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,839 And can I just say what a lovely spread you put on here tonight? 462 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,159 Fabulous! Thank you. First class. 463 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:02,319 Let's kick off straight away with the first award, which is 464 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,639 the Best Van Livery. 465 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 466 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,840 TURNS UP MUSIC 467 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,520 Oh, here we go. 468 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,680 Oh, all righty. Let's get you home. 469 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,159 Watch your head. 470 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,959 That's a girl. You all right? 471 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,799 Good lad. 472 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,439 Where's Saleem? 473 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,799 Oh, Saleem's DJing in Rotherham. 474 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,999 Oh, I prefer Saleem. 475 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,839 Yes, well, at the moment, Saleem is in the middle of a field 476 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,759 spinning discs at teenagers, off their faces on disco biscuits, 477 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,359 so it could be a wee while, but you're welcome to wait. 478 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,600 No, didn't think so. 479 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:55,760 Piece of piss. 480 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,479 Right... MUSIC PLAYS 481 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,359 Oh, turn it down, it's too loud! Oooh, it's hurting my ears! 482 00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,479 Where's Saleem? 483 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:11,159 Rotherham. Hold your horses, there's still some of them here. 484 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,559 Eh... Saleem does a head count. 485 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,399 Oh, does he? 486 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,199 He wipes it on the curtains and she hits the roof. 487 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,039 Less of the smut, Des. 488 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,119 Ladies present. 489 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,239 Oh, don't mind me, lads. I've heard worse. 490 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,319 Oh, I've got a good one for you, two nuns in a bath... 491 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,319 Yeah, not now flower. 492 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,959 It's rude. 493 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,799 Two nuns in a bath... Will you behave yourself? 494 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,719 No-one wants to hear your potty mouth. 495 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,520 These are respectable businessmen. Just smile and nod. 496 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,839 I need to mingle. 497 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,999 Oh, God, I love this song! Are you dancing, Des? 498 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,119 No. You're all right. 499 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:45,279 Right. So... 500 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,399 How's your lovely wife, Fiona? 501 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,199 Ex-wife. Oh, Vinnie, I'm so sorry to hear that. 502 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,879 Get in there, Di... Ah, it just didn't work out. 503 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,959 She works for Camp America now. 504 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,479 Does she? Mm. 505 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,719 Teaching kids how to kayak. Oh... 506 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,160 Couldn't even spell that two months ago. Ohhh...! 507 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,839 SINGER: Oi, watch it, Cinderella! 508 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,199 Anyhow, about you? How's life treating you? 509 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,919 Cos you're looking gorgeous. 510 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,879 Oh, no. No, I'm not, I look awful. 511 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,599 No. No. This is an old Kendal sale, and my hair, don't talk about it, 512 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,839 it won't even hold a perm. It's just mainly spray, so.. 513 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,919 Hey, take the compliment. 514 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,319 I mean it. You're looking great. 515 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:28,439 # Run away, run away, run away, run away... # 516 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,359 How are you finding it with Sandy? 517 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:33,639 Well, he likes things his own way, let's just leave it at that. 518 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,720 Yep, I hear you, babe. 519 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,639 Look at your kid. 520 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,040 She's a live wire. 521 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,000 SOMEONE FARTS Oh! Excuse me! 522 00:22:55,001 --> 00:22:58,399 KNOCKS ON WINDOW Ah, Jesus! Where's Saleem? 523 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,679 SHOUTS: Rotherham! Sorry, just a sec. 524 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:02,999 Sorry. 525 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,200 I'll get you on now. 526 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,000 All right, babe? 527 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,959 Well, did you win anything? Sod all! 528 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,359 I think I'm jinxed. 529 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:15,199 Nelly won big though. 530 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,639 Double rollover. 531 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,999 �28.60. 532 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,879 Nelly...? Nelly Gleeson. 533 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,119 Gleeson? 534 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,799 She'll be here in a minute, she's gone the ladies. 535 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,400 Too much Cherry B. Right. 536 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,479 Not a pissing hair on her head. 537 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,999 Where the fuck is Kath? 538 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,159 # Won't you join me 539 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,240 # Naked in the rain? # 540 00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:42,359 Hey, someone needs to tell her it's a business do, 541 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:44,199 not the Playboy mansion. 542 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,359 Yeah. But, listen, I'm having a lovely time. 543 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:48,199 I've been chatting to that Des. 544 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,319 Isn't he lovely? So sweet. Mind you, he's got a lot on his plate. 545 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,439 His semi is riddled with woodworm, his eldest just failed his driving 546 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,399 test third time, and to top it all, he thinks Jerry's got gout. 547 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,159 Mind you, they say it comes in threes. 548 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,599 Who the frig's Jerry? 549 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,479 His neighbour. All right, Wogan! 550 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,639 He's here for a night out, not an interrogation. 551 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,119 I bet you've bored the poor man stupid. 552 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:10,320 Herschel Daniels, everyone. APPLAUSE 553 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,999 Right, gentleman, and lady in red, 554 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,039 if you could just take your seats, please. 555 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,919 Oh! 556 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,359 Oh, shit! 557 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,919 That needs mopping. 558 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,119 It's very slippy. 559 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:25,319 Right, the moment you've all been waiting for. 560 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,559 Can we have a roll of the drums, please? 561 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,680 Thank you, gentlemen. DRUM ROLL 562 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:35,439 It's the Stockport Business Of The Year 1992. 563 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,519 And to present the award, Councillor Brian Allsop. 564 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:40,919 Give him a round of applause. 565 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,799 Brian, how lovely to see you, my friend. Here we go. Best of British. 566 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,679 Dead exciting. It's like the Brits. We're not going to win. 567 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,839 We're not going to win. Are we? I feel sick. 568 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,319 Have I got time for a quick wee? No. Sit down! 569 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,759 Now, who's won, I wonder? 570 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,479 WHISPERING: Oh, here we go. 571 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,599 The winner is... 572 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,760 ..Parkers Power and Electricals! CHEERING 573 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,159 I don't believe it. 574 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:07,639 Yes, Diane! And to collect the award, Sandy Cooper. 575 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,760 Get up here, Sandy. 576 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,599 Go on, Di. Should I follow? Should I follow? 577 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,719 Go with him! Go on! 578 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,319 Get in that photo. It's not even his shop. It's fine. It's fine. 579 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,039 It's really fine. Shush. It's fine. It's not fine. It's fine! It's fine! 580 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,239 Leave it! Go on. Leave it! 581 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:24,919 Thank you. 582 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,679 Er, I couldn't have done this alone, guys. 583 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,359 They say that behind every great man is... See? 584 00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,559 ..a local chapter of the Rotary Club. 585 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,359 So a big shout out to all my boys. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 586 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:35,600 You know who you are. 587 00:25:35,601 --> 00:25:40,319 Watch this space, lads, big plans. Why's he taking all the glory? 588 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,479 You deserve the glory. Because that's the way it is, Kath. 589 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,839 Well, why is it? Look around you. 590 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:50,759 Hey, lady, I'm no feminist, I'm not burning my bra for no bugger. 591 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,879 To be fair, I'd have to tuck me tits into me knickers, 592 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,479 but this is absolute bullshit! 593 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,319 It's bullshit Des, it's an absolute fix! It's a fix! 594 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,039 Fix! Shut up, love! 595 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,799 Oh, you can fuck off! 596 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,199 Kath, don't...make...a...scene! 597 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,919 Diane, what are you doing? 598 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,799 Just leave it, Kath. Oh, for God's sake... 599 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,119 Let's get your award. Diane, let's get your award! 600 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,639 No! No. 601 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,119 Oh, bloody hell, what is wrong with you? 602 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:14,959 If you won't get it, I will. 603 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,759 Move! Boo! 604 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,959 Boo me all you like, you dickheads. I couldn't give a shit. 605 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:25,479 That little lady there, that lady there, my sister, Diane Parker, 606 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,799 she should be stood on this stage, not him. 607 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,799 He isn't even called Parker! 608 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,079 She works dead hard in that shop, she does more than him. 609 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,039 And she is... She is an amazing mum. 610 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,399 She's an amazing mum and she looks after our dad an' all, 611 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,799 she doesn't do as much as me but look at her, she's bloody... 612 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,759 Get off me! CHEERING 613 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,290 I've got as much right to be here as you dickheads! 614 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,600 Aargh... She bit me! 615 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,479 I'm doing this for you, Diane. 616 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,359 Diane? Don't take any shit, Diane. 617 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,239 Don't you take any shit! 618 00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,479 Get off me! 619 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,559 Get off me. Don't forget the meat raffle! 620 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,520 MUSIC: Thunderstruck by AC/DC 621 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:09,680 Here's your meat. 622 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,639 And this is why we need to maintain our gentlemen only policy. 623 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,559 CHEERING 624 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:20,399 # The thunder of guns... # 625 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:21,919 Now, where was I? 626 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:25,160 # You've been...thunderstruck 627 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,559 # Thunderstruck 628 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,760 # Yeah, yeah, yeah, thunderstruck 629 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,120 # Ooh, thunderstruck 630 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,680 # Yeah. # 631 00:27:42,730 --> 00:27:47,280 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 48158

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