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CHRIS ROCK:
Growing up in Bed-Stuy,
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00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:10,244
one holiday I looked forward to
was Easter.
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00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,246
That's two boxes of dye
and a dozen eggs.
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00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,247
That it?
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00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:15,116
Almost.
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00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,317
You were dressed up,
girls were dressed up
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00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:19,120
and it was a good day
to pretend you were on a date.
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00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:21,122
Since Tasha and I went
to the same church,
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00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,490
she was the perfect choice.
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00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,524
So,
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00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,127
you gonna be in that
Easter pageant next week?
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00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,195
Yeah.
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00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:28,162
Got an escort?
14
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:29,197
Please say no.
15
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,698
Yeah-- Robert.
16
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:31,765
Hey.
Get lost.
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00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:33,234
What's up?
Did you remember
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00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,568
to get the Epsom salt
for your grandmother?
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00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:37,538
Got it.
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00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,407
* All I think about...
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00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:40,774
I wasn't proud of it,
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00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,111
but I prayed something bad
would happen to him.
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00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,216
Oh, my God!
24
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:51,585
Robert, how will I
ever get over this?!
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00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,256
Oh, I'll help you.
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00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,258
Yeah, I'll help you.
27
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,692
I never got that meteor,
28
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,528
but something almost as good
happened.
29
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,595
Why would you
say that?
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00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,397
That's not what
I said.
I heard what
you said.
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00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,199
Why do you have
to be so stupid?
You're stupid!
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00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:06,467
No, you're
stupid.
I hate you!
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00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,668
It's quits!
I hate you.
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00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,670
I love this.
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00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,172
* When I think of you...
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00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,141
You okay?
It's nothing.
37
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,375
Just forget it.
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00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,610
Time to bust a move, Dumb MC.
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00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:22,183
Chris, are you going to the
Easter pageant with anybody?
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00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,517
Yeah, Lisa Bonet.
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00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:24,618
No. Why?
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00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,854
Would you escort me?
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00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,290
Yeah.
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00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,591
Great.
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00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,127
It's a date.
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00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:36,430
Tasha was on the rebound,
so I made like Dikembe Mutombo.
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00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,509
* Ah, make it funky now.
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Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
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and VOLKSWAGEN.
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When you get into a Volkswagen,
it gets into you.
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00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,301
The biggest deal at our house
on Easter
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00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,736
was my mother's church hat
because a church hat on Easter
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00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:18,206
was like a gown
at the Oscars.
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00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,208
Hey, girl!
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00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,542
Here she comes.
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00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,544
Rochelle?
Rochelle?
Hi, Shaun.
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00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,813
Oh, that hat
is fabulous!
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00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,281
Thank you.
Who is it?
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00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,283
It's a Sean Gianni Vermani.
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00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:31,285
Love you, girl.
You look fabulous!
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00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,287
Come on, Julius.
Oh, yes.
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00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,925
Julius, come back here.
I need you to help me
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00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,427
pick out
my Easter hat.
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00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,761
I'd rather
pick cotton.
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00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,296
It would be less backbreaking.
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00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,432
Rochelle, we've been doing
this for months.
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00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:45,699
Just pick one.
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00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,701
Julius, you just don't
pick out a hat.
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00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,403
A hat picks you.
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00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,771
Okay, now tell me,
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00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,773
which one of these
will look better on me?
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00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:53,807
I don't know.
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00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,409
Where's your dress?
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00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,710
I put it on layaway.
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00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:57,945
It's not out yet.
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00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,580
Ooh, which reminds me,
I need ten dollars.
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00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,316
My mother didn't put
the dress on layaway
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00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,551
because it was expensive.
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00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,220
She just started planning
for Easter at Thanksgiving.
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00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:08,389
Mom, why is this cranberry sauce
shaped like a rabbit?
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00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,858
Because I was testing out
my new Easter molds.
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00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,460
Who wants gravy?
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00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,194
Nobody!
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00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,398
Ah...
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00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:18,799
While my mother
was judging hats,
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00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,334
Greg was judging me.
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00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,569
Don't you think
it's kind of weird
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00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,870
to have a date
on Easter?
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00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,538
Less weird than not
having a date ever.
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00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,706
Besides, it's
not a date.
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00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,874
It's an opportunity.
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00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:27,908
I guess you're right.
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00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,343
Maybe I should
go back to church.
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00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,011
You know,
score some babes.
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00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,045
When Greg went back to church,
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00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,415
the only one who hit on him
was the priest.
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00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,849
It's just that Robert's
out of the picture.
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00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,518
If I'm ever gonna have
a shot with Tasha,
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00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,786
this is it.
I hear ya.
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00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,388
Kick a man
when he's down,
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00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,389
that's what
I always say.
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00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,391
That was the only time
he ever said that.
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00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,758
Whose side are you on?
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00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:45,926
Yours.
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00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,295
The guy's an idiot.
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00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,729
I haven't even been
on one date,
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00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,798
and I know you don't
break up with a girl
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00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,266
before a holiday.
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00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,501
A girl by herself
on a holiday
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00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,802
is like an
ice-cream cone in hell.
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00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,670
It ain't gonna
be there very long.
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00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,606
I know I always say this,
but this time,
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00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,341
dude, you truly are
in there.
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00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,443
Wait.
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00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,977
Do you even know
what an escort does?
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00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:07,581
I do,
but this is a family show.
117
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,583
Meanwhile, my mother
was wearing out shoes
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00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:11,285
looking for a hat.
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00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,486
Rochelle,
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00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,355
this is the sixth hat shop
we've been to today.
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00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,222
Yeah, but they say
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00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,358
this is the best hat
shop in Brooklyn.
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00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,426
Why didn't we
come here first?
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00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,794
Well, how would I know if
it's the best hat shop
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00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,696
if I didn't visit all
the lousy ones first?
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00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,665
That's how Vanessa
looked for a husband.
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00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,700
Oh, yeah, girl,
this is nice.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
128
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,572
Oh, can I help you?
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00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,442
Yes. I'm looking
for a church hat for Easter.
130
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,743
Not just a church hat.
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00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,378
She needs the churchiest
hat you've got.
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00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:38,512
Uh-oh,
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00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,482
sounds like somebody's
getting into a hat competition.
134
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,318
Oh, no, she's not getting
into the competition.
135
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,053
Shethe competition.
136
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:48,356
Rochelle is
the three-time winner
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00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,424
of th Double Rock
on Zion's Holy Gospel
138
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:51,892
Temple of Bethesda
Christian Worship
139
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,461
Baptist Church
Easter Hat Show.
140
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,696
Uh-huh. She's about
to make it number four.
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00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,531
Hello.
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00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,533
You are Rochelle!
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00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,901
I heard about you.
144
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,470
I'm Hattie.
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00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,704
Hi, Hattie.
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00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,706
Well, this is my friend,
Vanessa.
147
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,775
Well, how did you hear
about me?
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00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,778
Well, I just joined your church,
and I have been told
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00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,447
that nobody can beat you.
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00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,015
You know that's right.
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00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,384
You work here?
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00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,386
No, I own the shop.
153
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,388
Thus the name.
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00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,022
Oh.
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00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,857
Well, it's very nice.
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00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,859
You have some
really lovely hats.
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00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,496
Um, do you have this one
in a medium?
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00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,963
Oh, if I did,
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00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,031
I wouldn't sell it to you.
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00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,966
What?
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00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,502
You see,
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00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,837
I plan on winning
the hat competition
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00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,672
this year.
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00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,675
And as much as I would love
your business,
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00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,744
I'd be a fool
to sell you a hat.
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00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,779
She told her.
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00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,453
Well, uh, Miss Hattie--
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00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,455
thus the name--
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00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,524
I don't know who you think
you are, and I don't know...
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00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,827
No, I'll tell
you who I am.
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00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,896
I'm the five-time winner
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00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:08,836
of the Fort Greene Greater
Faith Holy Baptist Temple
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00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:13,407
of Divinity C.O.G.I.C.
Easter Spectacular,
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00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,743
and I have graced the cover
six times
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00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,612
of Hat Weekly
waiting on the seventh.
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00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,648
Isn't that right, Levin?
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00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,517
Well, Miss Hattie...
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00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:26,854
here's a... a dime.
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00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,556
Oh,
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00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:29,623
what's that for?
181
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:30,491
For you to call
somebody
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00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:31,759
who really cares.
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00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,093
Yeah,
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00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,563
because I'm going to...
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00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,898
win that competition.
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00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,633
We'll see about that.
187
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,635
Oh, yes, we will.
188
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,804
While my mother was steaming,
Come on, Nessa.
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00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,840
at home,
things were boiling over.
190
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:50,511
Chris, how long does it take
to boil eggs?
191
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,546
I think they're done.
I told you.
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00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,649
What are y'all
doing anyway?
193
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,918
I mean, I thought you
already dyed eggs for Easter.
194
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,020
We did. These eggs
are for the church egg hunt.
195
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,455
Me and Drew are bringing extra
196
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:02,923
so I can have a head start
on winning.
197
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,625
That's cheating.
198
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,826
Not if I don't get caught.
199
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:09,497
Now Tonya uses the same logic
when she does her taxes.
200
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,899
All right, but you better not
let Mama catch you either.
201
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,067
I didn't think about that.
202
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,235
Don't worry.
203
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,737
I'll hide them
in the refrigerator.
204
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,607
Who'd think of looking
for eggs there?
205
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,074
While Tonya and Drew
were getting ready
206
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,576
to become career criminals,
207
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,578
I was getting ready
for my date with Tasha.
208
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,079
Uh, Chris,
209
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,981
if you look on that
shelf over there,
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00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,518
there's an ointment that'll
help you with that.
211
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,953
Thanks, Doc,
but I don't need any ointment.
212
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,589
So why you walking like
there's something swollen,
213
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,691
itching or burning?
Oh,
214
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,693
'cause Tasha asked me to escort
her in the Easter pageant.
215
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:40,728
So I'm practicing my walk.
216
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:43,096
Walk like that in Bed-Stuy,
you better run.
217
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,197
Why?
218
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,566
She seen you walk before?
219
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,800
Yeah, I know.
220
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,669
It's just that she just broke up
with Robert.
221
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:51,038
So if I impress her now,
she'll forget all about him.
222
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,642
And you will stroll right
in and be her new man.
223
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,776
Exactly.
224
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,277
You think that's
gonna work?
225
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,579
Why wouldn't it?
226
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:01,014
Because she's on the rebound.
227
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,783
Rebound?
Yeah.
228
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:06,620
When you break up with somebody,
the next person you end up with,
229
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,789
they got you on the rebound.
230
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,158
A person on the rebound
will be with anybody
231
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,893
just to forget the person
they just left.
232
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,762
So who do you have
to break up with
233
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:15,929
to end up with Bobby Brown?
234
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:18,065
Well, if I got anything
to do with it,
235
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,567
she gonna forget
all about him.
236
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,835
Maybe if he hit her in the head
with a brick.
237
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,538
Well, you got
a whole day.
238
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,874
You got plenty of time.
239
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,909
Hey, Doc.
Hey.
240
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,010
Hey, Chris.
241
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,244
Hey, Tasha, what's up?
242
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,913
My grandmother
just told me
243
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,715
we're not going
to our church this Sunday.
244
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,283
She wants me
to do the pageant
245
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,686
at her old church
in Queens.
246
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:39,820
Queens?
247
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,089
Sorry.
248
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,625
The Lord giveth
and the Lord taketh away.
249
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,994
Now let's go to commercial
before I start cursing.
250
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:55,035
Even though Tasha was going
to another church on Easter,
251
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,304
I wasn't gonna let that stop me
from going with her.
252
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,306
Hey, Tasha, wait up.
253
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,674
What?
254
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:01,775
What time is the Easter pageant
255
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:02,910
at your grandmother's
old church.
256
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,645
After the early service at 4:00.
257
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:05,679
Why?
258
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,348
I'll be there.
259
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,683
Really?
260
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,019
Yeah, I'll be there.
261
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,687
Thanks, Chris.
262
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:16,624
I'll see you Sunday.
263
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,261
While I was going all out
for Tasha,
264
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,263
Drew and Tonya were going
all out to win.
265
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,698
We need to figure out
a way
266
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,333
to get these eggs
to church.
267
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,568
I got an idea.
268
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,172
Come over here.
269
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,847
This is where I hide
all my stuff from mommy.
270
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:40,881
Shh.
271
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,916
Don't tell her.
272
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,656
I hope she doesn't have
a gun in there.
273
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,724
All right, put the
eggs in here.
274
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,096
Be careful.
275
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,806
Now all I got to do
is convince Daddy
276
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,207
to let me bring my
baby doll to church.
277
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,676
Cool.
278
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:09,743
While Drew and Tonya
were stacking the deck,
279
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:12,345
my mother was stacking
her hat.
280
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,181
Girl, I have
been working
281
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,883
on this hat
all day.
282
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,117
You want to see it?
Yes!
283
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,152
Open, open, open!
284
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:24,024
Oh...
285
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,358
That's what I'm
talking about.
286
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,426
That's a hat.
287
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:30,197
I just have to do
one last thing.
288
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,199
Ooh! Ooh!
289
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,367
What's wrong?
290
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,770
Ooh, that's a
bad hat, girl!
291
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,006
Hattie's gonna wish she never
even messed with you!
292
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,242
And peacocks wished they'd
stayed out of your way, too.
293
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,011
By the time Easter came,
294
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,846
my family was working
on more schemes
295
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,715
than a pop star in rehab.
296
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,316
Rochelle, I got
some bad news.
297
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,751
What?
298
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:51,685
I have to work today.
299
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:52,686
I can go
to the service,
300
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,154
but after that I have to leave.
No, he don't.
301
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,322
What are you talking about?
302
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,690
Nobody works on Easter.
303
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,657
He doesn't either.
304
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,727
Hey, what can I tell ya?
I just got the call.
305
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,728
I didn't hear the phone.
306
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,796
Never rang.
Maybe you were in the bathroom.
307
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:03,964
I wasn't in the bathroom.
308
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,465
I ain't hear it either.
You hear the phone?
309
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,800
I didn't hear the phone.
You hear the phone?
310
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:07,701
No, I didn't hear the phone.
311
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:08,769
Well, I answered it
on the first ring.
312
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:09,837
No, he didn't.
313
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:10,771
One of the guys got sick.
314
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,740
They're offering
quadruple double overtime.
315
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,974
DREW:
Quadruple double overtime?
316
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,375
I never heard of that.
You heard of that?
317
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:16,109
Never heard of that.
318
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:16,744
You heard of that?
319
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:17,778
No, I ain't heard of that.
320
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,246
I can't pass it up.
321
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,413
Well, it does sound
like a lot of money.
322
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,514
It is.
No, it's not.
323
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,751
Well, who's gonna escort me
in the Easter Hat Show?
324
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:24,651
Drew can.
325
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,086
Why I gotta go?
How come you can't go?
326
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,087
I gotta help Tonya hunt eggs.
327
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,021
I can help Tonya
hunt eggs.
328
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,089
Not if I can help it.
329
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:29,957
Nah, I don't want you
330
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,358
to mess your suit up.
You know what?
331
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,826
Chris is right.
Drew can escort me.
332
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,461
But, Chris, I want you
and Tonya in your seats
333
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,129
clapping for me at 4:00.
334
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,230
4:00?
Yeah,
335
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,832
that's what time
the fashion show starts.
336
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,367
Why, you got something better
to do?
337
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,735
Yeah.
Nah.
338
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:43,070
Okay.
339
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:46,073
I didn't know how I was gonna
be in two places at once,
340
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,942
but I wasn't gonna risk
blowing it with Tasha.
341
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,244
By the time we got to church,
the hat show hadn't started,
342
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,280
but the competition
was already on...
343
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,048
:
Praise the Lord. Hi, girl.
344
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,817
I saved you all
some seats.
Okay.
345
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,051
Go in.
346
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,452
Praise the Lord,
Brother Brown.
347
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,488
How you been?
All right.
348
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,828
Girl, I have not seen you
in a month of Sundays.
349
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:08,896
How you been?
350
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,130
Sinning.
351
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:13,433
(2001: A Space Odyssey
theme playing)
352
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,840
:
Hi.
353
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,816
Sister Rochelle.
354
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,418
Sister Hattie.
355
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,320
Imagine what they would have
called each other
356
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,322
if they weren't in church.
357
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,858
Happy Easter, everybody.
358
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,292
ALL:
Happy Easter.
359
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,963
Can the church say Amen?
360
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,464
ALL:
Amen.
361
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,333
Let me get a hallelujah.
ALL:
Hallelujah!
362
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,068
Praise the Lord!
ALL:
Praise the Lord!
363
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,803
All right.
364
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:50,470
Hey, baby...
365
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:51,805
I have to go
to work,
366
00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:52,505
so I'll see you all after.
367
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:53,373
Okay, baby.
368
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:54,507
But since I'm making
a little more money,
369
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,508
you don't have to cook.
370
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,509
So buy a plate
for everybody.
371
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,978
Nice touch.
372
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,179
Hey, Mom,
373
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,848
me and Tonya are gonna go get
a head start on the egg hunt.
374
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,183
Okay, I want you back
by 4:00 though.
375
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:06,153
We will.
376
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,989
So, I guess it's just
me and you, Drew.
377
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,191
Yeah, I guess so.
378
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,027
Where you going?
379
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,897
I'm gonna meet Tasha
in Queens.
380
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,366
I'm gonna tell on you.
381
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,034
What about all those eggs
you snuck in?
382
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,470
You don't tell on me,
I won't tell on you.
383
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,505
Fine.
384
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,009
When a good plan falls apart,
385
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,477
you usually have no idea
it did...
386
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,912
until it's too late.
387
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:35,048
Oh! What happened?
388
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,017
I was doing Prince splits
and I hurt my ankle.
389
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,152
Oh, no. What are
we gonna do?
390
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,988
We should take him
to the hospital.
391
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,222
No, I'm talking
about the hat show.
392
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,057
Who's gonna
escort me?
393
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:45,893
Well, if you want to quit, quit,
394
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,160
but don't bring the children
in it.
395
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,062
What?!
396
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,531
Don't act shocked.
I've seen it all before.
397
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,934
I am not pulling out
of this competition.
398
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,970
So, I suggest that you work
on your second-place smile,
399
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,906
'cause I'm taking this
grand prize home.
400
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,174
Where's Julius?
401
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,375
He left for work.
402
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,911
Ooh, you know what?
Go get Chris.
403
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:07,314
She was going to get me,
but I was getting Tasha.
404
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,883
Hey.
405
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:11,184
Chris, you made it.
406
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:13,353
Told you I would.
407
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,560
By the time I got to Tasha,
not only did I look good,
408
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,030
I was making Robert
look really bad.
409
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,197
You know, my grandmother said
410
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:25,432
you were just another
no-account Negro
411
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,900
who never
kept his promises
412
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,001
or took care
of his responsibilities,
413
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,937
and would eventually end up
leaving me in the cold
414
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,204
with a runny-nosed baby.
415
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,340
Then we'd be on Jerry Springer.
416
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,909
Nah. I wouldn't do that.
417
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,344
She's probably thinking
about Robert.
418
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,080
Yeah, but I don't want
to talk about him.
419
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,514
Good.
420
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,516
Well, we'd better get going.
421
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,919
Looks like the pageant's going
to start in a little while.
422
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,624
Tonya?
423
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,193
Ooh, where did you
get all those eggs?
424
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,062
Did you hijack
a chicken?
425
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,030
I've just been
looking really hard.
426
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,966
Well, where's Chris?
427
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,400
Think fast, woman.
428
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,235
Uh, he's looking
for eggs.
429
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,971
Well, we need
to find him.
430
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,072
Drew sprained
his ankle,
431
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,207
so he needs to escort your
mother to the hat show.
432
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,042
Come on, girl.
433
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,578
Come on, girl!
434
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,713
Meanwhile, the only thing
my dad was working
435
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,382
was the remote control.
436
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,150
Strike!
Strike?
437
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,151
What are you talking about?
438
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,987
That was low and inside!
439
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,288
Come on.
440
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,124
You got him.
441
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,292
Come on. You got him.
442
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:29,229
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
443
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,131
Oh, man!
444
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:34,001
Across town,
Tasha had lost a boyfriend
445
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,602
and won a pageant,
446
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,637
and I was there
to collect the prize.
447
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,009
VANESSA:
What makes you think
he's going to be here?
448
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,577
Well, he wasn't at Doc's or the
playground or the barbershop.
449
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,113
Maybe he's here.
450
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,347
What are y'all doing here?
451
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,449
We're looking for Chris.
What are you doing here?
452
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,284
Where's Chris?
VANESSA:
Well, we don't know,
453
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,286
that's why we're trying
to find him.
454
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,255
Drew sprained his ankle--
there's nobody to be
455
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,289
Rochelle's escort.
456
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,224
I thought you had to work.
457
00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,493
I did. I-I just came here
to get changed.
458
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,662
Um... I was just catching
a little bit of the game
459
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,164
before I went in.
460
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,398
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
461
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,500
Looks like you caught more than
just a little bit of the game.
462
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,336
TONYA:
Well, somebody needs
to go back to church
463
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,304
and escort Mama
through the hat show,
464
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,073
or we're all going
to get in trouble.
465
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,341
Okay, okay.
466
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,543
We'll just keep this between us.
467
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:19,046
You, them
and a five dollar bill.
468
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,316
Well, now, this year
our fashion show
469
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,119
has been nothing less
than spectacular.
470
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,320
You got that right!
471
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,056
Now I believe it's the best
hat-off we've had in years.
472
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,224
Does the church agree?
473
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:33,160
Amen!
Amen!
474
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:36,329
PREACHER:
Well, I see the judges
have made their decision.
475
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,131
For the past three years,
476
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,667
Sister Rochelle
has swept the competition.
477
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:41,768
Hallelujah!
478
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:45,238
But this Easter, our newest
member, Sister Hattie,
479
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:48,808
brings a wealth of hat expertise
and her awards, too.
480
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,143
Damn.
481
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,112
Oops. I'm sorry.
482
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,616
But this year's winner
and still champ
483
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,186
is Sister Rochelle.
484
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:06,259
* Her Easter hat
won the hat show *
485
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:10,230
* Rochelle's new hat,
four years in a row *
486
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:13,100
* She can't believe
that she beat Hattie *
487
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:17,204
* This Easter hat is the hat
that made history *
488
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,072
* Oh, oh, oh, oh
489
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,240
* Oh...
490
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,075
Where's Chris?!
491
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:24,244
Where's Chris?!
Here I am!
492
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,614
* History...
493
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:30,117
* Yeah, yeah, yeah.
494
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,518
By the end of the day,
495
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,286
I thought it would be different
between me and Tasha.
496
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,223
Hey Chris, thanks for coming
to my pageant with me.
497
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,557
I had a good time.
498
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,226
Me, too.
499
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,228
So, I was thinking,
500
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,563
you want to do something
together sometime?
501
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,166
Robert?
502
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,567
Where's a meteor
when you need one?
503
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,735
I'm sorry.
504
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:49,802
You should be.
505
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:50,870
Man, why don't you go somewhere?
506
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:51,871
She doesn't want to talk to you.
507
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:52,872
It's okay, Chris.
508
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:53,873
No, it's not.
509
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,108
I want to hear this.
510
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:55,942
No, you don't.
511
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,177
I didn't mean
to call you stupid.
512
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,211
Yes, he did.
513
00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,212
And I'm sorry.
514
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,247
No, he's not.
515
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,448
For real?
516
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,615
Yes.
517
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,484
No!
518
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,819
Don't do it again.
519
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,155
Ain't this about a...
520
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,522
I heard you won
the Easter pageant.
521
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:10,590
Yeah, no
thanks to you.
522
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,593
Unfortunately for me,
that was a great Easter,
523
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,728
except the wrong person
came back after three days.
524
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,198
:
That feels good. Mm.
525
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,633
You'll be okay, baby.
526
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,335
I'm proud of you.
527
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,503
I'll go get dinner.
528
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,339
Thank you, baby.
529
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:27,840
You okay?
530
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,278
Uh, I'll get it.
531
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,846
ROCHELLE:
Hello?
532
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:34,947
What's wrong with you?
533
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:38,418
I ate all the candy
I won at the Easter egg hunt.
534
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,487
May I be excused, please?
535
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,356
Go upstairs.
I'll check on you later.
536
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,292
Thank you.
537
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,693
Okay.
538
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:47,827
DREW:
Hey, Dad.
539
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,397
When you get done, can I have
some more frozen peas?
540
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,165
Frozen peas?
541
00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:54,334
What are you doing
Prince splits for anyway?
542
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,936
Between bandages,
frozen vegetables
Mm-hmm.
543
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,206
and cleaning your suit,
that's $14.86 worth of split.
544
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:02,275
I'll bring your peas
in a minute.
545
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,277
Okay.
546
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:06,579
Happy Easter.
547
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,915
Come on in, baby, sit down.
548
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,283
Who was that?
549
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,251
Your job.
550
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,819
It was?
551
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:13,753
Mm-hmm.
552
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:15,255
They want you to come in
and work tonight.
553
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,823
They do?
554
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,358
Yeah.
555
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,227
You know, it funny
because I told them
556
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,494
that you just came from work
557
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,230
to escort me
in the Easter hat show.
558
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,865
But they said you hadn't
been to work all day.
559
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:27,900
Quadruple double overtime, huh?
560
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,803
Hey. What's going on?
561
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,272
Hey, Chris, hey,
how you doing?
562
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,606
Oh, you must be hungry.
563
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,842
Look, um, there's extra
'cause Tonya's sick.
564
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,310
Come on, Drew.
565
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,511
I can't walk.
566
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,380
Oh, we'll bring you some later.
567
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,948
I'll get it.
568
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,583
JULIUS:
You sure?
569
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,385
Yes, I'm sure.
570
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,420
You've worked enough today.
571
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,591
Oh, hi, Tasha.
572
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,293
Hi. Is Chris here?
573
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:56,263
He is, but we're
having dinner at the moment.
574
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,364
Oh, I'm sorry.
575
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,266
I just wanted to drop
these pictures off for him.
576
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:01,301
And...
577
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,602
thanks for letting Chris
come to Queens
578
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,304
and escort me
in the Easter pageant.
579
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:08,441
You are so welcome.
580
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:09,742
And thank you.
581
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,444
Happy Easter.
582
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,445
You, too.
583
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:13,946
Okay.
584
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,786
Chris...!
585
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,888
* Everybody hates Chris.
586
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:25,925
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