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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:16,139 I just hope it doesn't cause any permanent damage. 2 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:25,728 - How long have you been here, anyway? - A while. 3 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:30,399 - You missed your prom? - Yeah. 4 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,784 The thing is, when I made that bet... 5 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:44,497 There he is. It's Freddie. He's wearing a tux. 6 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,500 What's up? I met a whole other person inside of you. 7 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:53,093 There's a whole other person inside of both of us. 8 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,408 Would the whole other person... 9 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,656 ...like to dance? 10 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,501 Yes. 11 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,081 - Morning, sweetie! - Daddy! 12 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,133 - Why are you in here? - Why am I in here? 13 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,298 It's her birthday, Dad. 14 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,172 Happy birthday, sweetie. 15 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,680 - What's that buzzing sound? - I just need a minute, here. 16 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,890 Maybe it's that construction. 17 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,309 Where's my little angel? 18 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,190 Happy birthday, honey. 19 00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,566 Grandma? Grandpa? 20 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,238 Rosco! 21 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,528 Rosco, go. 22 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,406 - Hello. - Father O'Flannagan? 23 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,875 I brought your special friends from the center! 24 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,578 - Happy birthday! - Janey's making faces. 25 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,629 It smells in here. 26 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,874 Okay, make a wish, dear. 27 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,085 No. 28 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:33,517 Let's begin now. 29 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,039 This isn't a typical high school. 30 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:51,878 At John Hughes, there are no cliques, no exclusive social groups. 31 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:55,548 You're accepted for you, not who you hang out with. 32 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:59,920 We'll divide into groups so you can get to know your peers. 33 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:03,427 Let's get all you jocks in one group... 34 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:07,181 ...and get you slutty girls over here by me. 35 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,604 Hey, how you doing? Welcome. 36 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,649 You losers should hang out in the back. 37 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,443 That clearly includes you. Come on, get back there. 38 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,443 Take a look at the kid standing beside you. 39 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,702 They're your only friends for the next four years. 40 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,200 Okay, let's move it, people! 41 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,503 - You need to start dating. - I don't date. You know that. 42 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,588 Janey, you know Dad's rule. 43 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,639 I can't have sex before you. 44 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:49,060 I don't conform to typical high-school norms. 45 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:53,606 I read Sylvia Plath, listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu. 46 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:57,310 - I'm a unique rebel. - More like you're a lesbo. 47 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,942 Mitch, leave your sister alone. 48 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,526 Thank you, Daddy. 49 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,735 If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision. 50 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,498 Go! Fight! Win! 51 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:19,041 Nice combination, Crissy! 52 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,548 I've been meaning to get that fixed. 53 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,183 Later, Dad. 54 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:33,308 Hey, I'll be late to pick you up. 55 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,480 Why? A job interview? 56 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:39,148 No, honey. I'll probably just be way too drunk. 57 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,900 That's good. No drinking and driving. 58 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:45,992 Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too drunk to remember. 59 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,695 Okay. Bye, Daddy. 60 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,030 Bye, pumpkin-head. 61 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:59,046 - Oh, my God! - Get out of the road! 62 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,558 Oh, my God, it's Jake. 63 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,236 - Hi, stud. - Hi, Jake. 64 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:26,316 - I love that thing with his eyebrows. - Those sideburns. 65 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:30,028 Oh, my God, there's Jake. He's so popular. 66 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,700 He just looked at me. 67 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,579 - Here. You can keep it. - Tiff. 68 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,537 Hi, Jake. It's all wet. 69 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,587 Melanie. 70 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,791 Hey, Jake. 71 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,716 Hey, Arthur. 72 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,103 Here's Ricky! 73 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,306 Hey, Ricky. How was your weekend? 74 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:03,152 Friday night I stood outside your window in the rain... 75 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,941 ...screaming your name. 76 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:09,325 Then I spent Saturday and Sunday making you this great... 77 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:13,822 ...I've-been-desperately-trying- to-tell-you-that... 78 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,327 ...I'm-madly-in-Iove-with-you... 79 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,580 ...mix tape for your birthday. 80 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:22,163 A mix tape? That's so sweet, Ricky. 81 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,337 See you in English. 82 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,504 Catch you guy later. 83 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,517 What happening? 84 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,222 Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending to be Asian and shit. 85 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:44,186 That cracker is white! Can't he see that, yo? 86 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,147 Did you get any action this weekend? 87 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:50,949 - I visit grandfather. - I played with my sisters. 88 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,527 We're pathetic. 89 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,490 How will we ever lose our virginity by graduation? 90 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:59,371 - We're freshmen. - What's with the attitude? 91 00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:03,212 - Not easy to get lucky here. - Girls are sensitive. 92 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:07,542 They're not looking for sex. They're looking for love. 93 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,219 Love me! Harder! 94 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:18,723 Amanda Becker. 95 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,641 She is so perfect. 96 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,115 Keep dreaming. 97 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,829 What's up, Reggie Ray? 98 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,408 I can't wait until Friday's game. 99 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:45,171 What about your head? You have a blood clot the size of a grapefruit. 100 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:49,467 Five more concussions and you'll die. You should take it easy. 101 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:52,712 - Don't listen to him. - Austin. 102 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:57,934 Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore, isn't first-string anymore. 103 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,472 We know what happened last time Jake called the plays. 104 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,858 And now, our hometown hero... 105 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:09,403 ...first-string quarterback, Jake Wyler! 106 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,982 Malik, could you hold these books? 107 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,034 Sure. Why not? I am the token black guy. 108 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,738 I smile, stay out of the conversation... 109 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:24,453 ...and say things like "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack!" 110 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:44,981 What's she doing here? She graduated four years ago. 111 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,566 - Hi, Jake. - Catherine. 112 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,440 Can I ask you a question? 113 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,944 Why is it when I tell a guy to put it anywhere... 114 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,152 - ...they always stick it in my ass? - Damn! 115 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,532 Way too much information. 116 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:04,083 Oh, no. Too much information would be telling you... 117 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:07,253 ...that after they're done I take a huge dump. 118 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:08,458 Shit! 119 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,333 On their chest. 120 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,759 Oh, that is whack! 121 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,611 Priscilla, there you are. 122 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,939 Jake, I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-Y. 123 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,739 Some time to talk to you. 124 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,285 God. 125 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,751 It made sense to me, Priscilla. 126 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,757 You're leaving me for this guy? 127 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:57,257 I'm sorry, Jake. We met over spring break. 128 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,012 I'm not ordinary. 129 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,350 You're leaving me for this guy? 130 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,521 His name is Les... 131 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:12,317 ...and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 132 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,030 And so is his bag. 133 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:52,316 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 134 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,523 Being a foreign exchange student is scary... 135 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,529 ...adjusting to a new school, a new country. 136 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:05,363 But you'll find that the students are very accepting. 137 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,326 You have a sunny disposition. 138 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:13,670 You got your schedule? 139 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,635 Well, isn't that wonderful? 140 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,096 Janey, come in. 141 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:30,763 This is Areola, our foreign exchange student. 142 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:33,941 Janey will show you to your first class. 143 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,485 Hi. 144 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,867 I like your backpack. 145 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:54,499 Dude, I heard there's an undercover reporter posing as a student. 146 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,797 Dude, no way, dude. 147 00:11:57,008 --> 00:12:00,342 Do you know where Mr. Keller's English class is? 148 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,887 - Down the hall, on your left. - Sweet, dude. 149 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:08,517 For the thousandth time, I said, "Swallow that thing." 150 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,560 Am I right? 151 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:18,106 How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? 152 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,278 Who does she think she is? 153 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,732 I got two words for you, Jake: 154 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:26,243 Prom queen, material. 155 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,614 Austin, she's an illusion. 156 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:33,121 You take away the makeup, the clothes... 157 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:37,213 ...the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume... 158 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,549 ...that cute face she makes when she's tonguing my balls... 159 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,303 Look, she's replaceable. 160 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:48,633 Given the right look, the right boyfriend... 161 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:52,310 - ...any girl could be prom queen. - I smell a bet. 162 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,185 Jakey, Jakey, about to make a big... 163 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,520 ...mistakey. 164 00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:01,228 I'll pick the most hopeless girl at this school... 165 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:05,066 ...and I'll bet that you can't turn her into prom queen. 166 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,901 You're on, Austin. 167 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,077 I'll bet you lose that bet... 168 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,908 ...but learn a much more valuable lesson, and win. 169 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,367 In life, that is. 170 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:16,914 You're both on. 171 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,038 All right. 172 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:23,885 Let's find you a prom queen, Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen. 173 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,003 What about her? 174 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,259 Baby's got back. Hunch, that is. 175 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,057 No, way too easy. 176 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,890 I have no pigment 177 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,770 Any girl with a guitar is hot. 178 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,522 I need sunscreen 179 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,977 Even a hippie albino. She could be prom queen. 180 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,399 What about the Fratelli sisters? 181 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,903 So they're slightly disfigured and connected. 182 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:51,032 But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick. 183 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,409 - I'd do them! - I know, Reggie Ray. 184 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,955 I'm looking for somebody really messed up. 185 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,004 I'm talking about a real shitbomb. 186 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:07,674 Well, bombs away. 187 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:12,804 No, no, no, anyone but her! Not Janey Briggs. 188 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,603 Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail. 189 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,978 She's got paint on her overalls! What is that? 190 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,643 There's no way she could be prom queen. 191 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,318 Damn, that shit's whack. 192 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,483 Aim for the head! 193 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,587 Can you imagine what they do in there? 194 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,252 Holy cow. 195 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,805 Guys, get your heads out of the gutter. 196 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,138 It's a locker room. It's no sexier in there... 197 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,969 ...than it is in here. 198 00:14:57,271 --> 00:15:00,514 Molly, can you help me take off my panties? 199 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,938 Hold on, I've got lotion on my hands. 200 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,237 That's okay. You can just use your mouth. 201 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,038 Thanks, Miss Peters. 202 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:18,744 So... 203 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,829 ...who would like to share their poem with the class? 204 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:28,126 Mr. Keller? Over here. Right here. Please. 205 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,380 Anyone? 206 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,962 Please pick me. I'm the one. 207 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,342 Yes... 208 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,515 ...Ricky. 209 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,562 - "Ten Things I Love About Janey." - Oh, not again. 210 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,237 By Ricky Lipman. 211 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:54,660 I love it when Janey talks I love it when Janey walks 212 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:59,620 I love it when Janey drinks I love it when Janey blinks 213 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,622 I love it when Janey says hi 214 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:06,914 I love it when Janey says "See you in English" 215 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,966 I love following Janey to the mall 216 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,094 And I love collecting strands 217 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,853 Of Janey's hair 218 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,561 And rolling them up 219 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:29,479 Into little Janey hairballs 220 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:45,536 Thank you, Ricky, for that interesting poem. 221 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:51,129 - I'm not sure we should be doing this. - Quiet. I hear them. 222 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,549 I can't believe what we just did, Molly. 223 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:59,600 It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will never happen again. 224 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,971 Shit, we missed it. 225 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,181 Let's keep going. 226 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,099 Hey, I found a buffalo nickel! 227 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,110 Jackpot. 228 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,568 Girl go pee-pee not what I want to see-see. 229 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:18,948 I agree-gree. 230 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:22,998 Would you two please try and be a little open-minded? 231 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:28,917 Class, let's open our books and continue with our poetry lesson. 232 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,542 You know what I think about poetry? 233 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:37,888 Oh, is that amusing? 234 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,634 Is that what your generation considers humor? 235 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,649 This make me kind of happy in pants. 236 00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,951 Goodness. 237 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,326 That make me kind of sad in pants. 238 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:07,076 Shakespeare, Molière... 239 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,995 ...Oscar Wilde. 240 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,876 These were humorists. 241 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,796 I'm gonna be sick. 242 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:20,507 The sublime poetic genius of a clever turn of phrase. 243 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,682 That is true comedy. 244 00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:24,851 Heavens to Betsy. 245 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:32,438 Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded, sophomoric excuse for wit... 246 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,572 ...is merely a parade of nasty... 247 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,154 ...filthy, vulgar... 248 00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,245 ...human excrement! 249 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,386 Excuse me. 250 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,111 - Hey, Janey. What's up? - Excuse me? 251 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:20,111 Ever want to be the most popular girl in school? 252 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,318 Anorexic, superficial? 253 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,653 A whore who lacks any real long-term goals? 254 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,747 Exactly. 255 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:31,702 If you're interested, I thought we could go out sometime. 256 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,207 Be seen in public. 257 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:37,758 - We haven't spoken in four years. - Actually, more like six. 258 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:41,337 That time when we were in line at that theater... 259 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:44,218 ...I was actually saying "hey" to the person behind you. 260 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:56,026 We're down a cheerleader for Friday's game against North Compton... 261 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,399 ...and that squad always tries to bring it. 262 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,732 - Bring what, Priscilla? - Bring it. 263 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:04,489 Right, but what is "it"? 264 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,328 It's just what they bring, okay? 265 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:21,543 New girl. 266 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:27,341 I'm Sandy Sue. It is simply swell to meet all of you. 267 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,431 Peachy. You brought a routine? 268 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,932 Oh, you bet. 269 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,974 Give me an H, give me a U 270 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:40,730 Give me a giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker cock shit! 271 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,827 I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's. 272 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,864 I don't know about her. 273 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:55,877 Okay. Let's get one thing straight. This isn't a cheerocracy. 274 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,587 I am the cheertator. 275 00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:01,712 I make the cheercisions, I will deal with the cheeronsequences. 276 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,589 If there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. 277 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,885 Thank you. 278 00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:15,522 Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass! Cum face! 279 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:20,314 She'll cheer do. Great. 280 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,610 Goddamn it, let's go now! Thirty-two draw! 281 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:28,284 Goddamn it! Let's show some goddamn hustle! 282 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:32,035 Look alive out there! This isn't a goddamn tryout! 283 00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:34,616 - Goddamn it! - Blue 21! Hut! 284 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,326 What the hell? 285 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:39,000 Nobody's covering that hole! 286 00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:42,049 Goddamn it! Let's do it again! 287 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:46,386 Marty! Marty! Marty! 288 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,381 All right, Marty. 289 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,885 - Get your ass in there. - You sure? 290 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,517 Just go, goddamn it. 291 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,940 Wyler, we got this wrapped up. 292 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:02,440 All you gotta do is run out the clock. 293 00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:08,033 For God's sakes, don't try anything fancy! 294 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:09,780 Goddamn it. 295 00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:14,410 Listen, boys. 296 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:17,083 We got time for one more play. 297 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:20,583 - I say we get the ball to Marty. - Damn. 298 00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,586 No, I'm just happy being on the field. 299 00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:28,216 Coach reckons we should take a knee. We're up 42-0. 300 00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,592 I don't care what coach reckons. 301 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:33,388 You can't go through life being scared. 302 00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:36,936 If you do, you'll always wonder, "What if?" 303 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:41,395 But if you go out there and you give it your all... 304 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:42,858 ...that's heroic. 305 00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,940 Guys, I appreciate this, but... 306 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,445 That's the spirit! Ready? 307 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,749 What are you doing? Get out of here. 308 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,585 Not here. Down there. 309 00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:01,877 Over here? 310 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:04,172 What are you doing? Over here! 311 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:05,798 Here? 312 00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:08,338 We love you, Marty! 313 00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:10,136 Set, hut! 314 00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,019 No. No. 315 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,477 No, don't throw it to me. 316 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,355 No! 317 00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:57,884 - Nice hands, Marty! - I did it. 318 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:00,763 - I'm a hero! - Walk it off! 319 00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:05,685 All right, goddamn it! Hit the showers, goddamn it! 320 00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:09,154 Bunch of candy-asses. Lousy practice! 321 00:24:09,365 --> 00:24:12,108 We'll get our asses kicked Friday! 322 00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:15,660 What about fourth-string? I didn't get to practice. 323 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:19,706 After all the shenanigans you pulled last season... 324 00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:24,161 ...thank God you're still in goddamn uniform, goddamn it! 325 00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:53,023 If my parents hear I got detention, no dessert for a week. 326 00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,325 We've disgraced ourselves and our families. 327 00:24:55,536 --> 00:25:01,578 Guys, guys, guys. I sense the morale's a little low. I say we make a pact... 328 00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:03,996 ...right here, right now. 329 00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:07,454 Before the end of the year, we all get laid! 330 00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,880 We always make that pact. 331 00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:13,005 We've been waiting for this since puberty. 332 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:16,634 - Two weeks ago! - I just got first hair on ball. 333 00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:19,762 I don't think you understand. 334 00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:23,561 We'll become the masters of our sexual destiny. 335 00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:26,936 No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused. 336 00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:30,272 No longer steal Grandfather's porn. 337 00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:34,652 No longer will we use blindfolds when we jerk each other off. 338 00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:36,949 All right, that's it. 339 00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:42,701 What in God's name is going on? 340 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:46,034 - What was that ruckus? - I no hear ruckus. 341 00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:50,418 - I heard a ruckus. - Can you describe this ruckus, sir? 342 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:53,375 You better watch your tongue, young man! 343 00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:55,460 We were just sitting here. 344 00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:58,717 You just bought yourself another detention. 345 00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:01,766 - That's not fair. - Cry me a river, dickface. 346 00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:04,845 - You bought another one. - Eat my shorts. 347 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:06,729 What was that? 348 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:10,149 Eat my shorts! 349 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:13,103 - Don't mess with a bull. - I'm shaking. 350 00:26:13,322 --> 00:26:14,984 - You got another. - Good! 351 00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:17,782 - You through? - Not even close, bud. 352 00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:19,780 - Want another one? - Yes. 353 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:21,987 - You got it! - Good. 354 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,159 - Another one. Had enough? - No. 355 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:25,623 - Another one. - So? 356 00:26:25,834 --> 00:26:27,791 - I can keep going. - Go! 357 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:30,165 - Eenie, meenie, minie... - Mo. 358 00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:31,666 - Your mom was a... - Ho. 359 00:26:31,882 --> 00:26:33,498 - He was a famous clown. - Bobo. 360 00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:36,046 Mitch, cut it out. 361 00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:40,179 - Another one. - But I was... 362 00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:41,676 That's another one! 363 00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:44,680 - One more for Ox or for Mitch? - Another. 364 00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:47,599 - I confused. - Shut your hole, Wang Chung. 365 00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:51,729 I got you for the rest of your lives. You're mine. 366 00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:54,269 - Next time, I'm cracking skulls. - I'm cracking skulls. 367 00:27:10,379 --> 00:27:14,168 How many times have I said I'm not going to Princeton? 368 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:16,256 I'm not pressuring you. 369 00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:18,380 Just give it four years. 370 00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:21,929 If you don't like it, you can work at my firm. 371 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:24,929 I don't want your life! 372 00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:26,760 That's okay, son. 373 00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:29,437 I heard about what happened with Priscilla. 374 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:31,264 The good news is... 375 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,021 ...I've got the perfect rebound girl. 376 00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:35,564 Really? 377 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:39,607 Beverly! Could you come in here? 378 00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:46,989 That's Mom! 379 00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:48,243 What do you say, kiddo? 380 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,327 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 381 00:27:55,549 --> 00:27:56,960 Make me proud, son. 382 00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:59,759 So you in love? 383 00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:06,091 - Yeah, I think I am. - Well, who is this guy? 384 00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:10,270 His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful. 385 00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:18,520 Janey? Sweetheart? 386 00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:23,199 Hi, Daddy. 387 00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:26,073 Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner. 388 00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:28,579 You were passed out on the table. 389 00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:36,378 Listen, honey... 390 00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:41,001 ...I may not always be coherent or conscious... 391 00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:45,385 ...but I know when my girl's got something on her mind. 392 00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:48,175 Well, there is this popular boy, Jake... 393 00:28:48,936 --> 00:28:52,145 Oh, sweetie. 394 00:28:54,191 --> 00:28:55,932 Jake knocked you up, didn't he? 395 00:28:56,902 --> 00:28:58,643 No, he asked me out. 396 00:29:00,489 --> 00:29:03,607 Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? 397 00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:06,617 I mean, would you give him head? 398 00:29:06,828 --> 00:29:09,662 He is kind of cute, but... 399 00:29:09,873 --> 00:29:12,240 ...he's always been a total jerk. 400 00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:14,951 It's weird that he's talking to me now. 401 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:19,005 Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds. 402 00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:24,965 What do you think I should do? 403 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:27,551 Look, sweetie. 404 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:32,306 I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are... 405 00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:35,855 ...because you're very, very special to me. 406 00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:40,026 If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants... 407 00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:41,986 ...well, then I'd say... 408 00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:43,945 ...go out with him. 409 00:29:44,825 --> 00:29:48,364 You could certainly use the popularity points. 410 00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,574 And if Jake likes you... 411 00:29:50,831 --> 00:29:55,292 ...then maybe those kids will quit throwing bags of shit on the porch. 412 00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:03,170 I feel better. 413 00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:07,298 Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 414 00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:11,929 That's what I'm here for, pumpkin-tits. 415 00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:22,777 - I need to ask you a favor. - It's about time. 416 00:30:23,238 --> 00:30:24,354 No, not that. 417 00:30:27,034 --> 00:30:29,993 You're the cruelest girl in high school. 418 00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:32,695 You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me. 419 00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:38,163 That girl with the glasses and the ponytail? 420 00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:40,791 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 421 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:43,873 Well... 422 00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:47,753 ...it's going to be difficult. 423 00:30:48,305 --> 00:30:50,262 But I think I can help you. 424 00:30:50,974 --> 00:30:52,465 Sit. 425 00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:57,303 For a price. 426 00:30:59,483 --> 00:31:02,271 And this time, I don't want your car. 427 00:31:04,404 --> 00:31:06,111 I want you. 428 00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:09,945 Catherine, that's disgusting. You're my sister. 429 00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:11,864 Only by blood. 430 00:31:12,913 --> 00:31:18,454 - What is wrong with this family? - Hey, do you want my help or not? 431 00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:33,881 There are three things you need to do... 432 00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:36,472 ...to have Janey eating out of your hand. 433 00:31:38,397 --> 00:31:40,309 First, you earn her trust. 434 00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:42,060 Come on, leave him alone! 435 00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:46,812 Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That's enough, okay? 436 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,941 You little shit. 437 00:32:03,547 --> 00:32:05,288 Don't you guys mess with him again. 438 00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:10,836 Once you've got her trust, it's time to make her feel special. 439 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:15,514 Pick a song with her name in it. That always works. 440 00:32:33,535 --> 00:32:35,572 Janey's got a gun 441 00:32:36,830 --> 00:32:38,366 Janey Briggs' got a gun 442 00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:41,408 She's got a gun! Janey's got a gun! 443 00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:43,334 What? 444 00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:46,958 Janey Briggs' got a gun 445 00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:51,842 So run away, run away from the pain 446 00:32:52,429 --> 00:32:53,590 Take it easy, miss. 447 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:56,263 - Wait. - Get back here! 448 00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:59,300 Run away from the pain 449 00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:01,177 Hold her down. 450 00:33:03,899 --> 00:33:07,142 - Give me your hand! - Just give us the gun, Janey. 451 00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:10,478 After you've made her feel special... 452 00:33:11,448 --> 00:33:14,441 ...it's time to put the icing on the cake. 453 00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:17,242 I'm really glad you showed up, Janey. 454 00:33:17,454 --> 00:33:22,245 The only reason I came here was to tell you to leave me alone. 455 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:25,494 You know, I was just making a snack. 456 00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,461 You want one? 457 00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:32,000 - No. Listen, Jake... - I'll be right back. 458 00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:33,838 But I... 459 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:10,792 Hungry? 460 00:34:13,927 --> 00:34:15,384 I don't like sundaes. 461 00:34:15,637 --> 00:34:19,051 It's not a sundae, it's a banana split. 462 00:34:21,685 --> 00:34:25,224 I don't like those, either. Goodbye, Jake. 463 00:34:40,453 --> 00:34:43,412 I left some money on the kitchen counter. 464 00:34:43,623 --> 00:34:46,036 Emergency numbers are by the phone. 465 00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:48,743 And remember, son: No parties. 466 00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,211 I know, Dad. 467 00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,376 Keg coming through. Hey. 468 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:54,377 What's up, man? 469 00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:56,585 We're trusting you, Preston. 470 00:34:56,803 --> 00:35:01,047 - Where do you want the speakers? - In the dining room. 471 00:35:01,266 --> 00:35:03,508 You guys should hit the road. 472 00:35:03,727 --> 00:35:06,310 I'm taking your Ferrari to buy hookers. 473 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:09,138 We'll call you later to check in. 474 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,940 I'll be so high, I won't know where the phone is. 475 00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:14,356 That's my boy. 476 00:35:17,741 --> 00:35:19,983 Jake, what are you doing here? 477 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:22,864 I'm taking you to Preston's big party. 478 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:24,536 I can't. 479 00:35:24,748 --> 00:35:28,913 I'm not dressed to go to a party. I'm a complete mess. 480 00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:32,711 I'd say you're one big fucking train wreck. 481 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:38,337 Do I know you? 482 00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:56,852 That's it. I've got it. 483 00:35:57,989 --> 00:35:59,196 What? 484 00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:02,400 It might seem crazy, but you'll have to trust me. 485 00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:32,517 That's it. 486 00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:35,524 I did it. I'm a miracle worker. 487 00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,646 Gentlemen... 488 00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:43,983 ...may I present to you the new and improved... 489 00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:45,533 ...Janey Briggs. 490 00:37:21,406 --> 00:37:25,571 Congratulations. You just got your first slow-motion entrance. 491 00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:49,389 I'm okay! 492 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,554 Janey? 493 00:37:53,563 --> 00:37:57,182 Come on out of there, honey. Quit farting around. 494 00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:08,943 - Got your mom's car keys? - Check. 495 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:12,738 - Sleeping bags. - Check. 496 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:13,993 - Condoms. - Check. 497 00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:19,333 Three pubescent libidos to take us on a series of wild adventures. 498 00:38:19,547 --> 00:38:21,880 Check! Road trip! 499 00:38:37,273 --> 00:38:38,480 We here. 500 00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:42,977 Gentlemen, tonight we go to our first high-school party. 501 00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:46,773 This is the place to buzz the Brillo. 502 00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:49,074 How you plan on buzzing Brillo? 503 00:38:49,953 --> 00:38:54,118 With this letter. Amanda Becker will know the truth: 504 00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:57,040 I've loved her since I first saw her. 505 00:38:58,253 --> 00:38:59,585 Welcome to the party. 506 00:38:59,796 --> 00:39:03,289 If you're going to have sex, do it in my parents' bedroom. 507 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:09,546 - Does she go to our school? - It's not even the same person. 508 00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:12,472 Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls? 509 00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:14,926 How did you talk me into this? 510 00:39:15,144 --> 00:39:19,855 Priscilla's freaking out now that Janey's lost her glasses and her ponytail. 511 00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:23,233 I'm going to go fuck a complete stranger. 512 00:39:23,444 --> 00:39:26,312 - Hey, I'm a complete stranger. - I'm a complete stranger. 513 00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:32,318 Relax, all right? It's going to be okay. 514 00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:33,907 Nice turtleneck. 515 00:39:34,122 --> 00:39:36,034 What's your name? 516 00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:39,583 I'm Sandy Sue. Limp-dick fag fucker! 517 00:39:39,794 --> 00:39:41,831 Who told you that? Alison? 518 00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:44,796 Alison was bitter when we broke up. 519 00:39:45,008 --> 00:39:49,503 - Completely fake. - Yeah, that's not her real hair color. 520 00:39:49,721 --> 00:39:53,886 - She's wearing the same outfit as me. - It looks much better on you. 521 00:39:54,601 --> 00:39:56,968 Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now. 522 00:40:06,696 --> 00:40:08,358 What's going on? 523 00:40:09,449 --> 00:40:14,569 We can't talk until she starts moving again. 524 00:40:19,542 --> 00:40:21,329 She took forever this time. 525 00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:32,503 What are you doing here? 526 00:40:35,224 --> 00:40:36,465 What do you mean? 527 00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:40,428 I'm supposed to be the only black guy at this party. 528 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:45,395 - Damn. Shit. - Yeah, I know. 529 00:40:45,568 --> 00:40:46,684 - It's whack. - It's whack. 530 00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:47,897 Hey, man, my bad. 531 00:40:48,112 --> 00:40:49,899 - Take this. - Thanks. 532 00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:51,480 Do your thing. 533 00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:55,359 - Peace out, brother. - Honest mistake. 534 00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:06,079 Hi, my name is Catherine. 535 00:41:06,756 --> 00:41:11,091 Yeah, I know. We just had sex five minutes ago. 536 00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:17,965 Not scoring any cock, either? 537 00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:22,224 Cock? I've never even been kissed. 538 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:29,856 What up, my yellow brothers? Chinks in the house! 539 00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:44,037 Reggie Ray, have you seen Janey anywhere? 540 00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:47,829 It's a good night for smoking. 541 00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:50,289 Ain't that right, Sausage? 542 00:41:57,932 --> 00:42:01,596 Okay, now close your eyes and wet your lips. 543 00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:05,437 - Are you for real? - Do you want to learn or not? 544 00:42:06,983 --> 00:42:08,565 I guess. 545 00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:25,208 - See? That wasn't so scary. - It was nothing. 546 00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:28,038 Okay. 547 00:42:29,172 --> 00:42:31,164 Let's try again. 548 00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:35,467 Only this time, I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth. 549 00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:41,052 And when I do that, I want you to massage my tongue with yours. 550 00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:45,682 - And that's what first base is. - Okay. 551 00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:47,687 Eyes closed. 552 00:43:13,049 --> 00:43:15,211 That was cool. 553 00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:18,548 Now... 554 00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:21,971 ...have you ever eaten pussy before? 555 00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:28,141 You call this a party? 556 00:43:28,356 --> 00:43:30,939 I'm a golden goddess! 557 00:43:31,150 --> 00:43:34,018 - Show us how drunk you are! - Go for it! 558 00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:42,659 You're a unique rebel, Janey! 559 00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:45,278 Janey, are you all right? 560 00:43:46,207 --> 00:43:51,293 - I told you not to let me drink. - I gave you a nonalcoholic beer. 561 00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:57,374 What the hell are you doing here? 562 00:43:57,593 --> 00:43:59,880 I... I was invited. 563 00:44:00,096 --> 00:44:04,932 Look, you may have lost those glasses and that ponytail thing... 564 00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:08,102 ...but you're still a loser. 565 00:44:13,818 --> 00:44:17,027 Look at that. Oh, my God. 566 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,488 That's going to stain. 567 00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:26,782 You're not going to cry now, are you? 568 00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:14,035 Look, you can't just start a slow clap at any old time. 569 00:45:14,253 --> 00:45:15,744 You gotta wait for the right moment. 570 00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:19,958 But how am I going to know when it's the right moment? 571 00:45:22,803 --> 00:45:23,964 You'll know. 572 00:45:37,068 --> 00:45:39,230 Nobody's allowed down here. 573 00:45:39,737 --> 00:45:41,444 Janey, I just thought... 574 00:45:41,656 --> 00:45:44,899 How did you get in here? I deadbolted the door. 575 00:45:46,410 --> 00:45:48,367 There's a hole in the side of your house. 576 00:45:54,377 --> 00:45:55,413 Who's that? 577 00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:59,918 - It's my mother. - You have her eyes. 578 00:46:02,176 --> 00:46:03,587 She died when I was 6. 579 00:46:05,972 --> 00:46:07,008 I'm sorry. 580 00:46:08,057 --> 00:46:10,299 I remember it like it was yesterday. 581 00:46:11,143 --> 00:46:16,810 Christmas, 1989. Dad had been fired from the zipper factory. 582 00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:20,059 Mom was pulling in tricks to make ends meet. 583 00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:22,481 Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot. 584 00:46:23,906 --> 00:46:27,240 And all I wanted was a little Betsy Wetsy doll. 585 00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:32,037 I remember those. Push her belly, she'd piss all over herself. 586 00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:36,082 She said she was going out to get my dad a bottle of gin... 587 00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:39,541 ...but I knew she was going to get me that present. 588 00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:45,084 It was raining really hard that night... 589 00:46:45,261 --> 00:46:48,095 ...and the roads were slippery. 590 00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:51,931 Oh, God, Janey. A car accident. 591 00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:54,260 No. Cancer. 592 00:46:57,982 --> 00:47:01,521 I had to take on all of her responsibilities: 593 00:47:01,736 --> 00:47:05,275 Cooking and cleaning and breast-feeding Mitch. 594 00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:08,653 It's in the past. Think about your future. 595 00:47:08,868 --> 00:47:10,530 Look how talented you are. 596 00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:16,081 I have this dream of just hopping on a plane and going to Paris. 597 00:47:16,292 --> 00:47:19,285 There's an art school, but I can't afford it. 598 00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:24,040 Unless I raise $26,000 before the admissions cutoff. 599 00:47:24,258 --> 00:47:29,629 My parents give a scholarship to girls who can't get into art school. 600 00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:31,762 Really? That's amazing. 601 00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:36,309 This year we gave it to Lupe, the Mexican finger painter. 602 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,557 I think you'd really like her work. 603 00:47:40,191 --> 00:47:43,901 Sometimes I wish my life was a fairy tale... 604 00:47:44,111 --> 00:47:47,320 ...and some guy would come and take me away. 605 00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:13,429 - I was... My... - Yeah... 606 00:48:13,599 --> 00:48:17,969 - My eyes were shut. - And we couldn't even... Yeah. Totally. 607 00:48:25,486 --> 00:48:27,899 I'm gonna... I'm gonna... 608 00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:29,946 - I'm going to go. - Okay. 609 00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:33,654 Congratulations to the men and women nominated for prom queen. 610 00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:48,628 Think you'll be prom queen? Well, think again, Janey. 611 00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:52,712 You put the "ass" in "embarrassment." The "boo" in "taboo." 612 00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:55,926 And the "suck" in "liposuction." 613 00:48:59,478 --> 00:49:01,185 Is that the best you can do? 614 00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:03,809 No. 615 00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:07,526 You also put the "brat" in "bratwurst." 616 00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:10,688 And the "eew" in "jujitsu." 617 00:49:10,865 --> 00:49:15,860 And the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism." 618 00:49:17,997 --> 00:49:22,367 So I told her, "Take the old lady and send your mama back." 619 00:49:24,128 --> 00:49:28,919 So you asked your four-eyed circus freak to the prom yet? 620 00:49:29,175 --> 00:49:31,292 We resent that! 621 00:49:32,595 --> 00:49:34,461 Why don't you just drop it, Austin? 622 00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:40,806 Jake made a few paint stains in his pants thinking about Janey. 623 00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:43,687 It's just a bet. Okay, man? 624 00:49:45,024 --> 00:49:47,732 You always had a thing for ugly girls... 625 00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:50,728 ...Mr. I-Have- a-Thing-For-Ugly-Girls. 626 00:49:53,908 --> 00:49:55,399 You mean Janey? 627 00:49:55,618 --> 00:49:59,157 She looks as good as a dumpster full of gristles. 628 00:49:59,371 --> 00:50:01,078 Bling-bling. 629 00:50:03,501 --> 00:50:05,288 Janey Briggs... 630 00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:07,702 ...is hot. 631 00:50:24,813 --> 00:50:27,647 - Hey, Janey. - Hey, Jake. 632 00:50:27,858 --> 00:50:30,771 I've been doing a lot of thinking... 633 00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:34,275 ...and there's something I want to ask you. 634 00:50:35,991 --> 00:50:38,825 I don't want to make a big deal of it... 635 00:50:39,078 --> 00:50:42,196 ...so I'm just gonna lay it out there, okay? 636 00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:46,162 Here it is. 637 00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:51,288 See, I don't like making big speeches. 638 00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:55,213 I'm a straight shooter. I call them like I see them. 639 00:50:55,678 --> 00:50:57,635 What you see is what you get. 640 00:50:58,305 --> 00:51:02,515 Ain't nobody gonna break my stride. Ain't nobody gonna slow me down. 641 00:51:03,602 --> 00:51:06,936 Jake, are you trying to ask me to the...? 642 00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:08,183 Yeah. 643 00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:11,566 I'd love to go with you. 644 00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:18,698 Great. Great. 645 00:51:21,829 --> 00:51:23,036 I'll see you in English. 646 00:51:27,710 --> 00:51:30,453 It's time to play some football! 647 00:51:30,879 --> 00:51:35,920 The John Hughes Wasps defend their title against the North Compton Wildcats. 648 00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,393 Goddamn! 649 00:52:02,911 --> 00:52:05,904 That was the fastest first half of football I've ever seen. 650 00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:14,588 We saw you at our practice. I know you stole our routine. 651 00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:19,543 I don't know what you mean. We do our own cheers. Right, girls? 652 00:52:19,762 --> 00:52:20,798 That's right. 653 00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:24,097 Well, then, you better bring it. 654 00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:26,592 Oh, it's already been broughten. 655 00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:29,636 Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah! 656 00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:33,102 We are the North Compton Wildcats 657 00:52:33,317 --> 00:52:34,979 We're black, we know it 658 00:52:35,194 --> 00:52:37,311 We shake our big booties and show it 659 00:52:37,529 --> 00:52:39,521 We ain't white, we ain't white 660 00:52:39,782 --> 00:52:42,900 We definitely ain't white Break it down, niggas 661 00:52:48,749 --> 00:52:51,617 Damn, those bitches represent! 662 00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,677 - Reggie Ray. - I smell a bet. 663 00:53:04,807 --> 00:53:06,173 You all right? 664 00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:09,510 Coach says it's okay to bleed from the ears. 665 00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:16,641 I got to go back out on the field. 666 00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:22,356 All right. Be careful. You only have three... 667 00:53:23,325 --> 00:53:26,818 Two concussions left. Reggie Ray. 668 00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:28,619 And we're back. 669 00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:32,407 Let's go, Wasps! 670 00:53:39,007 --> 00:53:40,748 Blue 33! Set! 671 00:53:43,011 --> 00:53:44,673 That's defense right there. 672 00:53:45,931 --> 00:53:48,048 Say "good day" to Reggie Ray. 673 00:53:50,561 --> 00:53:53,645 Sit down. He got the wind knocked out of him. 674 00:53:54,273 --> 00:53:57,311 - Come on, Reggie Ray, get up! - Reggie Ray. 675 00:53:57,484 --> 00:53:59,726 You still have another concussion! 676 00:54:02,948 --> 00:54:03,984 Come on, dog! 677 00:54:04,700 --> 00:54:05,986 It doesn't look good, coach. 678 00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:09,406 - Can he play? - He's in a coma. 679 00:54:09,580 --> 00:54:12,698 Answer my question! Can he play? 680 00:54:12,916 --> 00:54:15,704 He can't breathe. We gotta get him to a hospital. 681 00:54:15,878 --> 00:54:17,085 Listen to me right now! 682 00:54:17,504 --> 00:54:22,841 I don't care what you have to do! He stays in the game, goddamn it! 683 00:54:34,772 --> 00:54:37,731 Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy. 684 00:54:38,192 --> 00:54:39,478 Blue 15! 685 00:54:42,279 --> 00:54:43,770 Set! Hut! 686 00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:49,860 Goddamn it, Reggie Ray! 687 00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:52,195 Oh, shit. 688 00:55:11,433 --> 00:55:14,471 Wham, bam! What the fuck just happened? 689 00:55:17,606 --> 00:55:22,317 Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice. You're the only quarterback I've got. 690 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:28,065 - I say give the ball to Marty. - I'm just happy being on the field. 691 00:55:29,034 --> 00:55:32,527 - You'll always wonder, "What if?" - I'm a hero! 692 00:55:35,374 --> 00:55:37,582 Goddamn it! Get in the game! 693 00:55:37,793 --> 00:55:39,409 You're our only chance! 694 00:55:40,796 --> 00:55:44,836 - You're a pussy, Wyler! - Do it for Marty's torso! 695 00:55:48,470 --> 00:55:50,177 You got butterflies, huh? 696 00:55:50,556 --> 00:55:51,637 Who are you? 697 00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:00,559 I'm the wise janitor. 698 00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:04,309 I impart knowledge and help youngsters overcome their fears. 699 00:56:04,528 --> 00:56:06,690 I also replace the urinal cakes. 700 00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:09,613 I'm here to help you get your throw back. 701 00:56:10,409 --> 00:56:12,321 - How did you...? - I've been watching. 702 00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:17,205 During practice, in the hallways, in the lockers, taking a shower... 703 00:56:17,416 --> 00:56:19,282 ...whipping boys with a wet towel. 704 00:56:20,294 --> 00:56:25,164 - Can tell you kind of like that. - Hey! Let's get back to the throw. 705 00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:28,125 What happened to Marty wasn't your fault. 706 00:56:28,302 --> 00:56:29,338 Really? 707 00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,804 Okay, it was. But you got to get over it. 708 00:56:33,015 --> 00:56:34,506 It could've happened to anybody. 709 00:56:35,559 --> 00:56:38,973 Anybody that disobeyed the coach and the team... 710 00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:44,148 ...and threw to a 90-pound kid who shouldn't have been on the field. 711 00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:48,228 Stop! How is any of this supposed to be helping me? 712 00:56:48,447 --> 00:56:50,530 Right. Forget what I said. 713 00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:55,406 You got to go out there, believe in the ball and throw yourself. 714 00:56:55,746 --> 00:56:57,533 You can do it. 715 00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:04,206 I'm going out there. 716 00:57:10,969 --> 00:57:14,508 Only 25 seconds remaining, and the fate of the season... 717 00:57:14,723 --> 00:57:19,013 ...rests in the hands of fourth-string quarterback Jake Wyler. 718 00:57:19,227 --> 00:57:22,345 Translation: We're shit out of luck. 719 00:57:22,522 --> 00:57:24,889 - Give me a W! - W! 720 00:57:25,067 --> 00:57:27,184 - Give me a Y! - Y! 721 00:57:27,402 --> 00:57:30,645 Give me a... Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 722 00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:34,065 Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 723 00:57:38,372 --> 00:57:39,533 Blue 83! 724 00:57:39,790 --> 00:57:41,247 Blue 83! 725 00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:44,291 I reckon I'm feeling better. 726 00:57:44,544 --> 00:57:45,876 Set! Hut! 727 00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:31,502 Oh, shit. 728 00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:50,267 That has to be the worst pass I've ever seen, ever. 729 00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:54,444 What the hell was that? 730 00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,300 Jake? 731 00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:27,932 Jake. 732 00:59:29,566 --> 00:59:30,773 Hey. 733 00:59:31,526 --> 00:59:34,860 - You did great out there. - I blew the game, Janey. 734 00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:36,483 I let everyone down. 735 00:59:36,698 --> 00:59:41,568 It's just a football game, Jake. Besides... 736 00:59:42,704 --> 00:59:44,616 ...you didn't let me down. 737 00:59:45,207 --> 00:59:46,448 Really? 738 00:59:47,751 --> 00:59:50,539 Jake, you've taught me to be myself. 739 00:59:50,712 --> 00:59:53,750 You never saw me as the girl in glasses. 740 00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,831 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 741 00:59:56,718 --> 00:59:59,426 Right, you never noticed those either. 742 01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:02,968 You taught me a lot about myself too. 743 01:00:03,350 --> 01:00:07,594 Oh, Jake. Nothing could ever come between us now. 744 01:00:07,813 --> 01:00:09,099 Jake Wyler. 745 01:00:10,899 --> 01:00:14,313 Congratulations. You blew my perfect season. 746 01:00:14,528 --> 01:00:18,488 - Señor You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season. - What do you want, Austin? 747 01:00:18,740 --> 01:00:19,776 A life. 748 01:00:21,493 --> 01:00:22,859 And payback. 749 01:00:23,286 --> 01:00:26,450 - Come on, don't do this. - No, I'll hang around. 750 01:00:26,665 --> 01:00:31,626 Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P... 751 01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:36,835 What's going on? 752 01:00:37,008 --> 01:00:38,749 Austin. 753 01:00:38,927 --> 01:00:40,008 This isn't funny! 754 01:00:41,388 --> 01:00:42,504 No. 755 01:00:44,015 --> 01:00:45,176 I don't believe it. 756 01:00:45,392 --> 01:00:50,103 I said I'd turn you into prom queen when I thought you were ugly... 757 01:00:50,313 --> 01:00:55,104 ...the girl with no friends who was dirt poor and smelled a little funky. 758 01:00:55,986 --> 01:00:58,399 Look, I made a mistake. 759 01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:02,858 If I could go back, I never would've made that stupid bet. 760 01:01:06,037 --> 01:01:07,118 What bet? 761 01:01:11,084 --> 01:01:13,792 I never said anything about a bet. 762 01:01:24,639 --> 01:01:25,800 All I said was: 763 01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:27,803 "I'm pretending to whisper a big secret... 764 01:01:28,018 --> 01:01:30,055 ...so Jake thinks I'm telling you a secret... 765 01:01:30,228 --> 01:01:32,720 ...that will cause him to break into a hysterical confession... 766 01:01:32,898 --> 01:01:38,144 ...revealing a secret and confirming everything I whispered in your ear." 767 01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:08,089 I wish I didn't make that bet 768 01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:11,892 That's not the guy I want to be 769 01:02:12,103 --> 01:02:15,596 If I could just turn back the clock 770 01:02:15,815 --> 01:02:20,776 Then Janey would still be with me 771 01:02:23,615 --> 01:02:26,779 Tell me, Mom, what should I do? 772 01:02:27,118 --> 01:02:28,450 I love this boy 773 01:02:28,620 --> 01:02:35,459 But he has been untrue 774 01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:39,374 I'll do my best to make things right 775 01:02:40,465 --> 01:02:44,084 I wish we could resolve this fight 776 01:02:44,970 --> 01:02:48,429 It could happen 777 01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:52,759 - At the prom tonight - At the prom tonight 778 01:02:58,358 --> 01:03:01,317 I'm getting pussy no matter what 779 01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:04,271 Even if it with dirty slut 780 01:03:04,489 --> 01:03:07,106 True love is what I want the most 781 01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:10,909 I just jerked off in your French toast 782 01:03:11,454 --> 01:03:17,200 So what if we have the same mother 783 01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:22,748 Tonight I'm going to fuck my brother 784 01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:25,758 In a few hours I'll be queen of the prom 785 01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:32,299 I've been an alcoholic Since my first tour in 'Nam 786 01:03:34,686 --> 01:03:38,350 I asked Janey to the prom And she doesn't know why 787 01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:44,899 I'm only in the song Because I'm a black guy 788 01:03:47,782 --> 01:03:52,573 I have no money I have to make my own dress 789 01:03:54,372 --> 01:04:00,084 Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes 790 01:04:00,253 --> 01:04:03,212 I'm gonna win her back No matter what it takes 791 01:04:03,423 --> 01:04:09,670 Here I go, I'm gonna forget about Jake 792 01:04:11,431 --> 01:04:13,343 Prom tonight 793 01:04:15,352 --> 01:04:17,218 Prom tonight 794 01:04:18,730 --> 01:04:20,096 Prom tonight 795 01:04:25,612 --> 01:04:28,275 It's gonna happen, gonna happen 796 01:04:31,951 --> 01:04:38,744 At the prom 797 01:04:38,917 --> 01:04:39,953 Tonight 798 01:04:59,145 --> 01:05:05,187 When I was a freshman, I threw 176 touchdown passes. 799 01:05:05,443 --> 01:05:10,780 My sophomore year, I ran 14 in on my own with a sprained ankle... 800 01:05:10,990 --> 01:05:15,280 ...a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum and a subdermal hematoma. 801 01:05:32,387 --> 01:05:34,470 I bet she great bonk. 802 01:05:34,681 --> 01:05:38,095 Excuse me, Bruce? No. You don't bonk Amanda Becker. 803 01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:42,474 You make sweet, sweet love to her. 804 01:05:43,189 --> 01:05:45,397 Amanda Becker's like a flower. 805 01:05:46,067 --> 01:05:47,524 You smell her. 806 01:05:47,735 --> 01:05:49,692 You touch her gently. 807 01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:54,733 You admire the beauty. You watch it blossom. 808 01:05:55,326 --> 01:05:59,912 And you thank God he created something so perfect. 809 01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:04,075 Go to her. 810 01:06:16,681 --> 01:06:18,718 Be strong, Mitch! 811 01:06:31,779 --> 01:06:33,236 What do you expect from me? 812 01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:39,695 - Do you think I'll have sex with you? - No! You don't understand. 813 01:06:39,913 --> 01:06:42,030 Because I am not a cheap slut. 814 01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:45,241 I don't screw every pathetic guy that gives me a letter. 815 01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:50,166 I give them handjobs. 816 01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:02,763 - Want to dance? - Only if we're horizontal. 817 01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:05,386 I totally heard that. 818 01:07:19,494 --> 01:07:21,360 We're dancing. 819 01:07:42,642 --> 01:07:43,723 It's funny. 820 01:07:43,893 --> 01:07:47,637 You'd never suspect everyone here is a professional dancer. 821 01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:03,410 Oh, God. No. 822 01:08:03,621 --> 01:08:05,783 I want to do it right here on the dance floor. 823 01:08:05,957 --> 01:08:07,118 Janey. 824 01:08:07,333 --> 01:08:10,576 Don't you forget our deal. She wins, you're mine. 825 01:08:22,849 --> 01:08:26,968 And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet... 826 01:08:27,186 --> 01:08:31,772 ...to turn a uniquely rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for: 827 01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:35,309 The announcement of the prom king and queen. 828 01:08:35,528 --> 01:08:38,020 This year's prom king is... 829 01:08:38,698 --> 01:08:39,734 Marty! 830 01:08:40,491 --> 01:08:41,652 ...Jake Wyler! 831 01:08:57,133 --> 01:08:58,544 Way to go, Jake! 832 01:08:59,177 --> 01:09:02,011 This year's prom queen is... 833 01:09:02,221 --> 01:09:03,507 You got it, Priscilla! 834 01:09:03,681 --> 01:09:07,300 - It's in the bag, Priscilla. - I don't believe it. It's a tie. 835 01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:08,846 A tie? 836 01:09:09,020 --> 01:09:10,727 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God. 837 01:09:12,357 --> 01:09:14,690 Your new prom queens are... 838 01:09:16,110 --> 01:09:19,569 - ...Kara and Sara Fratelli. - Fuck. 839 01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:24,450 - Oh, my God! - They deserve it. 840 01:09:26,871 --> 01:09:28,203 Congratulations! 841 01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:34,210 There we go! Your king and queen. 842 01:09:40,218 --> 01:09:43,586 I say we make like a tree and branch... 843 01:09:44,389 --> 01:09:46,130 ...out of here. 844 01:09:47,892 --> 01:09:49,758 All right, Kara and Sara. 845 01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:53,555 Now, it is traditional for the king and queen... 846 01:09:53,773 --> 01:09:56,766 - ...to share a ceremonial dance. - Come here. 847 01:10:07,787 --> 01:10:09,369 You smell good. 848 01:10:22,927 --> 01:10:24,964 Janey. 849 01:10:29,016 --> 01:10:31,224 Do you know where Austin went? 850 01:10:31,436 --> 01:10:35,430 I know he rented a room at the Sunrise Motel. Room number six. 851 01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:38,812 Past the ice dispenser. Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far. 852 01:10:39,861 --> 01:10:42,524 Oh, and the door will not be locked. 853 01:10:45,116 --> 01:10:46,607 That's all I know. 854 01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:48,988 Thanks, Malik. 855 01:10:50,037 --> 01:10:56,250 You know, you're intelligent and insightful. You don't get the respect you deserve. 856 01:10:58,838 --> 01:11:00,124 You really mean that, Jake? 857 01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:04,584 That's great! I've always wanted to discuss with you the repercussions... 858 01:11:04,761 --> 01:11:06,673 I actually got to go. Sorry. 859 01:11:07,430 --> 01:11:08,466 Motherfucker. 860 01:11:08,681 --> 01:11:10,593 Hold it right there, mister. 861 01:11:10,933 --> 01:11:16,179 I am not going to let you hurt Janey again, okay? Besides, I love her. 862 01:11:16,397 --> 01:11:17,558 Well, so do I. 863 01:11:18,524 --> 01:11:23,189 But I'm the best friend, and I've been in front of her the whole time... 864 01:11:23,404 --> 01:11:27,523 ...and she just doesn't realize it yet, but she will. 865 01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:31,527 I'm the cool guy who's learned the error of his ways. 866 01:11:31,871 --> 01:11:35,239 She'll forgive my mistakes and realize I love her. 867 01:11:37,043 --> 01:11:38,625 Damn it. That's true. 868 01:11:53,559 --> 01:11:56,518 Why's this door locked? It's a fire hazard! 869 01:12:12,078 --> 01:12:14,115 Get out of the road! 870 01:12:14,330 --> 01:12:15,741 Hey, watch it, man! 871 01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:19,245 She's not attracted to you! 872 01:12:19,877 --> 01:12:21,789 She doesn't love you! 873 01:12:22,755 --> 01:12:25,293 You'll never be more than a friend! 874 01:12:26,133 --> 01:12:28,125 Two dollars! 875 01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:39,094 Ice dispenser. 876 01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:41,346 Six. 877 01:12:41,607 --> 01:12:45,772 Oh, yeah! I'll make you forget all about losing prom queen. 878 01:12:45,945 --> 01:12:49,484 Tell me who your daddy is! Tell me who your papa is! 879 01:12:51,951 --> 01:12:53,613 Get off her, man! 880 01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:55,573 Priscilla. 881 01:12:55,788 --> 01:12:57,245 Don't move. 882 01:13:02,128 --> 01:13:04,916 - What's going on? - Something beautiful. 883 01:13:05,798 --> 01:13:09,007 - Where's Janey? - Miss Run-Home-To-My-Daddy... 884 01:13:09,260 --> 01:13:10,751 ...ran home to her daddy. 885 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:16,514 - That's for taking Janey to the prom. - You put the... 886 01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:20,265 - That's for hurting her at the party! - This is really turning me on. 887 01:13:21,772 --> 01:13:24,890 That's for being really weird. 888 01:13:25,109 --> 01:13:26,566 Thank you. 889 01:13:32,116 --> 01:13:34,073 I don't know what that was for. 890 01:13:40,583 --> 01:13:42,245 Hello. 891 01:13:43,961 --> 01:13:45,168 Why... 892 01:13:46,631 --> 01:13:49,840 I never thought I'd hear myself say this... 893 01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:55,554 ...but for once, I wish I could meet a nice, sensitive guy... 894 01:13:56,057 --> 01:13:57,889 ...who wanted more than just sex. 895 01:14:00,478 --> 01:14:03,186 That is very admirable. 896 01:14:05,858 --> 01:14:08,771 I wish a guy would take me out for dinner. 897 01:14:09,236 --> 01:14:11,023 I feel the same way. 898 01:14:13,157 --> 01:14:14,944 And for once... 899 01:14:16,911 --> 01:14:20,120 ...I wish a guy would take a dump on my chest. 900 01:14:23,334 --> 01:14:25,166 That is appalling. 901 01:14:29,507 --> 01:14:31,464 That really upsets me. 902 01:14:32,802 --> 01:14:35,419 I can't believe nobody's ever taken a dump on your chest. 903 01:14:40,643 --> 01:14:42,225 Will you be that guy? 904 01:14:48,943 --> 01:14:52,857 It would be an honor and a privilege. 905 01:15:03,165 --> 01:15:04,656 Janey! 906 01:15:08,045 --> 01:15:09,286 Hello? 907 01:15:10,256 --> 01:15:12,088 Is anybody home? 908 01:15:12,633 --> 01:15:15,091 Get down! Enemy fire! 909 01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:18,257 Mr. Briggs? 910 01:15:18,472 --> 01:15:21,510 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where Janey is? 911 01:15:21,767 --> 01:15:26,228 She went out there. On her own. There's Charlie everywhere. 912 01:15:26,731 --> 01:15:29,144 Right. Do you know where she went? 913 01:15:29,483 --> 01:15:32,146 Couldn't take it. Went to the airport. 914 01:15:32,361 --> 01:15:37,072 Something about Paris. Her tour was over. 915 01:15:37,366 --> 01:15:39,528 Paris. Thank you, sir. 916 01:15:39,994 --> 01:15:43,704 I need ammo! I can't hold them off much longer! 917 01:15:49,670 --> 01:15:52,663 Off the road, you glasses and ponytail freak! 918 01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,018 Two dollars! 919 01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:09,346 - Two dollars! - Two dollars! 920 01:16:15,696 --> 01:16:17,858 Next stop, airport. 921 01:16:18,115 --> 01:16:22,655 The red zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers. 922 01:16:22,870 --> 01:16:24,361 No parking. 923 01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:25,787 Attention, please. 924 01:16:25,998 --> 01:16:31,335 All red Porsche 944s parked in the white zone will be towed immediately. 925 01:16:36,634 --> 01:16:40,173 Paris Air, Flight 805 to art school in Paris... 926 01:16:40,387 --> 01:16:42,629 ...from Gate 122, is now boarding. 927 01:16:56,070 --> 01:16:58,437 Excuse me, everyone! 928 01:16:59,073 --> 01:17:03,283 There's a girl boarding a plane right now to Paris that I love. 929 01:17:04,829 --> 01:17:07,993 If I don't get there in time and tell her how I feel... 930 01:17:08,582 --> 01:17:10,198 ...I may never see her again. 931 01:17:15,256 --> 01:17:16,417 Go get her, son. 932 01:17:17,466 --> 01:17:18,752 Good luck, young man. 933 01:17:21,095 --> 01:17:22,927 - Go get her! - Go for it. 934 01:17:25,599 --> 01:17:26,965 Oh, hell, just go. 935 01:17:29,770 --> 01:17:30,851 Freeze, bitch! 936 01:17:41,824 --> 01:17:44,282 You're bleeding on my suitcase. 937 01:17:50,541 --> 01:17:51,577 Excuse me! 938 01:17:52,626 --> 01:17:54,037 Excuse me, everyone! 939 01:17:54,545 --> 01:18:00,337 There's a girl about to board a plane to Paris right now that I love and... 940 01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:03,877 We already heard that one. Asshole. 941 01:18:05,723 --> 01:18:10,684 This is the final call for Paris Air Flight 805 to art school... 942 01:18:10,895 --> 01:18:13,137 ...departing from Gate 122. 943 01:18:13,314 --> 01:18:14,930 Janey! 944 01:18:16,066 --> 01:18:17,398 Hey, shithead, that's mine. 945 01:18:18,485 --> 01:18:19,817 Give it back! 946 01:18:20,154 --> 01:18:23,864 Just believe in the ball, Jake. And throw yourself. 947 01:18:37,213 --> 01:18:38,670 Nice shot, Jake. 948 01:18:40,925 --> 01:18:44,043 - Jake? - Janey. Thank God I got to you in time. 949 01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:47,634 Listen to me. I'm not going to let you go to Paris. 950 01:18:48,182 --> 01:18:50,970 - This is the final call... - Why not? 951 01:18:51,185 --> 01:18:53,393 ...for flight nonstop to art school. 952 01:18:53,604 --> 01:18:59,271 If you're finding words to stop a girl from leaving, now would be the time. 953 01:18:59,443 --> 01:19:01,150 Janey... 954 01:19:02,529 --> 01:19:06,239 ...I made that bet before I knew you. 955 01:19:07,576 --> 01:19:09,909 Before I really knew me. 956 01:19:11,622 --> 01:19:12,908 Oh, Jake. 957 01:19:15,042 --> 01:19:16,783 Okay, hold it right there. 958 01:19:20,923 --> 01:19:24,212 Tell me you didn't quote Freddie Prinze Jr. 959 01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:29,925 I knew it. That was a line from She's All That. 960 01:19:30,140 --> 01:19:32,553 I masturbate to that movie. 961 01:19:35,896 --> 01:19:36,977 Do you mind? 962 01:19:37,147 --> 01:19:40,356 No, not at all. Masturbation's very healthy. 963 01:19:44,029 --> 01:19:48,899 Janey, you said you couldn't believe in someone that didn't believe in you. 964 01:19:49,243 --> 01:19:53,408 Well, I believed in you. I always believed in you. 965 01:19:54,581 --> 01:19:55,662 Oh, Jake. 966 01:19:56,417 --> 01:20:00,286 Oh, God. I can't believe you fell for that crap. 967 01:20:00,462 --> 01:20:03,125 - That's from Pretty in Pink. - Are you sure? 968 01:20:03,924 --> 01:20:05,005 Trust me. 969 01:20:05,175 --> 01:20:10,421 - Excuse me. What are you doing? - Let me give you some advice, Jake. 970 01:20:10,597 --> 01:20:14,511 Lose the I'm-The-Cute-And-Sensitive Popular-Boy routine. 971 01:20:14,768 --> 01:20:15,849 It's pathetic. 972 01:20:16,061 --> 01:20:19,395 And tell Janey what's true in your heart. 973 01:20:19,606 --> 01:20:21,268 Stop being such a little bitch. 974 01:20:22,526 --> 01:20:27,362 And you. Miss Other-Side-Of-The-Tracks Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses. 975 01:20:27,823 --> 01:20:32,284 Wise up to Jake's bullshit. Stop being such a dumb-ass. 976 01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:37,284 She's right. 977 01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:40,208 - Janey... - Yes, Jake? 978 01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:45,588 Maybe you should get on that plane and go to Paris. 979 01:20:47,801 --> 01:20:51,511 Well, if you stay, we really only have the summer. 980 01:20:51,722 --> 01:20:56,012 Then I go to college. We'll spend the occasional weekend together. 981 01:20:56,226 --> 01:20:57,467 Which is nice. 982 01:20:58,103 --> 01:21:02,598 But chances are, one night I'll get wrecked and have sex with some girl. 983 01:21:02,816 --> 01:21:04,728 You'll find her thong and call me a slut. 984 01:21:05,027 --> 01:21:08,191 I'll call you a cocktease and we'll break up. 985 01:21:08,405 --> 01:21:12,149 So when you really think about it, what's the point? 986 01:21:15,329 --> 01:21:20,415 Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of truth I was expecting. 987 01:21:22,795 --> 01:21:27,460 But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big of a dumb-ass do you think I am? 988 01:21:27,633 --> 01:21:30,250 You obviously stole that from Karate Kid. 989 01:21:30,886 --> 01:21:32,673 No, actually, I... 990 01:21:32,971 --> 01:21:35,463 Jake, it's okay. 991 01:21:35,974 --> 01:21:37,806 I love you too. 992 01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:39,683 We all know where this is going. 993 01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:42,391 Fucking teenagers. 994 01:21:51,865 --> 01:21:53,276 This is it. 995 01:21:53,450 --> 01:21:54,941 The right moment. 996 01:22:09,675 --> 01:22:11,541 Son of a bitch! 997 01:22:30,737 --> 01:22:32,023 Betty... 998 01:22:33,031 --> 01:22:35,148 ...meet Apollonia. 999 01:22:35,325 --> 01:22:37,738 We're going to have a three-way. 1000 01:28:40,857 --> 01:28:43,770 Sun's burned my cornea 1001 01:28:44,444 --> 01:28:48,108 I can no longer see 1002 01:28:48,698 --> 01:28:53,739 I'm not kidding Somebody please fucking help me 1003 01:28:57,123 --> 01:28:58,830 Quick! Grab her guitar. 74957

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