All language subtitles for Baby.Daddy.S06E10.WEBRip.x264-ION10

♪♪

Come on!
You gotta eat somethin'.

I mean, it's almost
nine o'clock, you're usually

on your third breakfast
by now.

Sorry, but I'm just
way too nervous to eat anything.

You know what?
Maybe just a waffle to go?

Or-- Or two,
maybe two waffles to go?

And will you
put some eggs in that?

Honey, this might
be the most important trial
of my career.

Defending Brad?

He's not just Brad,

he's your mother's husband.

And if your mother's husband
goes back to jail, I mean,

she's just gonna,
peck out my soul

until I'm nothing
but a hollow shell.

Oh, you know...
maybe a few pieces
of bacon?

Okay, yeah.

Wait. Is this it?

Is this the letter
from the doctor

saying what the sex
of our baby is?

You've had our baby
in your briefcase
this entire time

and you didn't tell me?

No, because we already decided
we didn't wanna find out
the sex.

Well, that was a little more
of a "you" than a "we" decision.

Come on, don't you wanna know?

This makes it so real.

Yeah, 'cause up until now,
it's just been this
crazy fantasy.

Hey, guys, I've been doing
some spring cleaning,

and thought you might like
some of Emma's old clothes
for the baby.

Or you just didn't
feel like doin' laundry.

Don't poke holes in this,
you're getting free clothes.

I so don't have
time for this.

All right, wish me luck.

Luck, I predict that thing
will be gone before you hit
the elevator.

Look at you, dude!

Your lips don't even move
anymore when you're
trying to read!

The sex of our baby is
in this envelope and Riley
doesn't want to know what it is.

You'd wanna know
if you were havin'
a boy or a girl, right?

Hell, yeah.
Although I'd have been cool

just knowing
I was having a baby.

Why don't you open it?

Because I promised Riley
I wouldn't.

Oh, right.
Sacred bond. Gotcha.

Which is why I'll open it!

And if we get caught,
we can blame it on Emma.

Honestly, it's one
of the best parts
about havin' a kid.

Oh! Pregnancy brain.

What was I thinking?

And you were right.

Dude! It never fails!

Sometimes I wonder
if women can actually
smell deceit.

We can.

(theme music playing)

♪ It's amazing
how the unexpected ♪

♪ Can take your life
and change direction ♪

Okay, Mrs. Wheeler,
are you ready to head
to the courthouse?

Do you mean am I ready

to see the man of my dreams

locked away?

Am I ready to be left alone,

out in the cold with no one
to turn to?

No! No, I am not ready!

Oh, my God! I can't lose him!

(crying)

Mrs. Wheeler, calm down.

All right? It is gonna be okay.

I know, I was just practicing

for my big moment on the stand.

And if that doesn't sway
the jury,

then these babies

definitely will.

Well, they didn't sway me

to make you breakfast
this morning.

Okay, all today is about

is getting this thing postponed.

When Bustamonte
fled the country,

I managed to get a box of
his files seized at the border.

Box? I mean,
what's in the box?

Bank statements
that will hopefully prove

he is the real mastermind
behind the whole scheme.

You're a genius!

But it hasn't arrived.

You're an idiot!

Mrs. Wheeler, this box

is the only thing we have

to prove Brad is innocent.

And, when I say innocent,

I mean only slightly guilty.

Well, I hope we get
that old judge

who erased
all my parking tickets.

I only had to go to second base

for him for that.

But I am willing

to hit a home run, huh?

No. No, no, no.

Well, unfortunately,
we have Judge Johnson.

Yeah, soon to be known
as Lady Justice.

This is her last trial

before she leaves to star

in her own TV show.

And now I'm interested.

And you weren't
when it was just
about my husband

spending his life in jail?

Yeah, not so much.

But! But I heard
that Judge Johnson

is gonna be the new face
of daytime TV.

I was just gonna send her
my head shot,

but my real head
would be better.

Look, you have to help me
get in to see her.

Yeah, yeah, because
it's not like Riley has
anything better to do.

Um, I heard her defense,
so, no, I don't think she does.

Okay, you know what?
Brad is gonna be fine.

I am going to win this case,
and he is going to go free.

-Okay.
-Oh, God, even I don't
believe me. Let's go.

Oh, hey, babe.
I feel like I didn't give you
a proper send-off.

I used to kiss your father
like that.

He's gay now. Can we go?

Let's do this!

Yeah, all right,
you are not coming.

I know. But if you see a dude
there that looks like me,

it's not.

You're just being racist.

Oh, come on.

-Did you get it?
-No, that bag was full
of candy wrappers.

It's like a chocolate cemetery
in there.

(whispers)
Brad.

You stay strong.
And know that if things
don't go your way,

I will be right here
beside you... at least
through the first appeal.

Have no fear,
Lady Justice is here.

That little catchphrase
is gonna make me
a million dollars.

Uh, Ms. Perrin, I see here
that you're petitioning

to court to postpone this trial.

I-- I am, your honor.
I am just waiting

on a box of evidence
that will prove that my client--

Do you actually know
what's in this box?

Oh, yes, completely.

Not one hundred percent
exactly, no, but I have
a very strong hunch.

Mm. I had a hunch
that leftover Indian food

would make a good breakfast.
(chuckles) So much for hunches.

Petition denied.

So... good news.

We're going to trial.

-Excuse me--
-(both scream)

Who the hell are you?

Tucker Dobbs.
I hope you don't mind,
I let myself in.

I do mind,
but I think I know you.

You've been in my court before.

Guilty of breaking my heart,
if I recall.

(laughing)
Uh... that's me.

Uh, first of all,
I just want you to know

that I am a huge fan
of your work,

and second,
you need me.

What I need is a manicure,
a mai tai, and a boy toy

with an ass so tight
I can bounce a quarter
off of it.

Any chance you got change
for a dollar?

Uh, no, no. I meant
you need me for your show.

I produced
for the Mary Hart show
for two years--

No, forget it, forget it.

I already got a pack
of yappy producers
tellin' me what to do.

But what you don't have
is a yappy on-air sidekick.

Right?
You know, feedin' you lines
and makin' you look good.

Ooh. I like lookin' good.

Okay. Get yourself a uniform,
I'll let you audition.

And-- And start thinking
of some catchphrases.

Yeah, um...

You don't need
to wear no pants,

the robe decides
what's de evidence.

-Yeah, but not that one.
-Yeah, okay.

Okay. Here's how it's gonna go.

We'll intercept her
in a neutral spot,
the coffee shop

on the corner
of Wall and Chambers.

While she's focused on shoving
a chocolate croissant
down her gullet,

I'll surreptitiously
extract the envelope,

run across the road,
photocopy the contents,

and replace it
before she even knows
it went missing.

What do you think?
It honestly cannot
be any simpler.

Something tells me
it could be.

Look, do you want
that envelope or not?

It's not like she's gonna
walk in here and drop it
in our laps.

That was a total crap cocktail
with a double crap chaser!

Mrs. Wheeler, it really
wasn't that bad.

I mean, honestly, I thought
it was gonna be a lot worse.

Hey, and what are
we supposed to do

if we never get that box
of so-called evidence?

Let Brad go to jail
just because he broke
a couple of stupid laws?

That is kind of how
the system works.

Bonnie:
Hey!

What are you two
so excited about?

Oh, uh, we're both just really
happy the trial's goin' so well.

It's not.

Then we should
probably leave you alone
to strategize, bye!

-Ready?
-Yes!

No, wait!

Okay, tell me.

Wait, no,
don't tell me!

-I don't know...
-Oh-ho, too late!

What the hell is this?

Oh my God, it's not a boy
or a girl?

What am I having?

It doesn't matter,
I will love it anyway.

No, it's a phone number
to something called

the Baby Place,
with a special code.

Oh, I forgot.
Yeah, we told the doctor

to send the results
to this baby shop

that sends us a cake
that's either blue or pink
on the inside,

so we can be surprised.
It was my idea.

That's genius.
Not the idea, that was lame.

But now all you have to do
is call the store.

We can't.
Only Riley can tell them
where to deliver the cake.

Got it.
(as Riley) Hey, yeah,
like, this is Riley Perrin,

and I've got, like,
this cake, okay?

That was horrible.
(as Riley) Hi, this
is Riley Perrin,

wife of husband Danny Wheeler?
He's a hockey player.

I was horrible?

(both imitating Riley)

What the hell is the matter
with you two?

Oh, uh, we're trying
to impersonate Riley

so we can find out
the sex of my baby.

(as Riley)
Hello? This is Riley Perrin,
and, and I'll sue your ass

if you don't tell me
what I'm having!

Well, start dialing!

Pretty big day, huh, Emma?
We're about to find out

if you're getting a boy cousin
or a girl cousin.

I want a puppy!

Well, I want a motorcycle
and a girlfriend named Bambi,

but we all
have our disappointments.

She finally left.

Oh my God. Is that it?
Is that the cake?

No, I just
decided to get up early
and do a little baking.

Yes, that's the cake!

Would you like
to do the honors?

Yes.

No. I can't.

Or maybe I can. Heh!

You know what?
Just give me a minute.

You're gonna be a dad.
Man up, dude!

-It's a girl!
-It's a girl!

I'm havin' a girl!

You're havin' a girl!

-(both laughing)
-Finally, someone else
will understand

how hard it is
to raise a girl.

They look so cute,
but they're really
just small women!

Hey, what's that?

I don't know,
it came with the cake.

Maybe should've looked
at this first.

It seems this cake
actually belongs

to a Gordon and Melinda Miller.

Riley's havin'
someone else's baby?

No, Danny.

Someone else
is havin' Riley's baby?

No, Danny!

-Is Riley--
-Just forget it.

All right, order in the court.
Put your papers away.

We ready to start,
and Lady Justice don't play.

(laughter)

I better bang this gavel
before this court unravels.
(laughs)

When did Tucker
become the po-po?

That's prison slang
for copper.

Well, he's auditioning
to be her TV bailiff.

Normally, I would
just freak out,

but honestly,
it's the least
of our problems.

My God!
He is gonna make a mockery
of these proceedings!

Okay, Brad,
at the first opportunity,
take your shirt off.

Got it.

Okay, Counselor,
since you seem to have
no case, no evidence,

and no witnesses,
can I assume that you're
just gonna stare at me

until somebody yells "guilty"
and puts you outta your misery?

Oh God, could you?

I mean-- Uh, no, no,
I-- I have witnesses.

Uh, a witness.

I would like to call
the defendant to the stand.

I need you to stall.
We need time to get
that box of evidence.

Got it.

Could you please
state your name
and occupation?

(clears throat)
Hmm!

(speaking slowly)
Brad...ley!

What are you doing?

(whispers)
Stalling.

(speaking slowly)
Walk...er!

Hey, so congrats on the baby.
Here's your cake.

There was a slight mishap
on the subway, but good news,
you're havin' a girl!

Really? That's it?

Months of anticipation,
people flying in
from around the country

for this party,
and you just blurt it out?

Maybe you'd like
to name her, too.

Oh, I like Elisa.

It was on our list,
but we ended up
crossing it off,

so feel free to take it.

And in exchange
for that priceless gift,

could we possibly
take our cake now?

You seem to be busy.

We don't have your cake.

We sent it back
when we read the envelope

and realized
it wasn't ours.

Like normal people!

Right, honey?

Actually, I ate it.
Sorry, it's my cheat day.

Oh, well, that's okay,
but what am I having?

Oh-ho... wouldn't you
like to know?

Yes! Yes, I would like to know!

And, I believe,
the defense rests.

Well, that was a disaster!

Mr. Walker, I suggest
that you get your affairs
in order.

Let's take a break.

All right, don't get
your panties in a bunch.

Lady Justice is just
breakin' for lunch!

(laughter)

Riley, you have to do something.
I can't go back to jail!

I've already done
my screw you tour
of Cell Block C,

plus I gave away
my shampoo and my lucky shiv!

Brad, I am so sorry.
If only she'd allowed us

-to postpone,
we wouldn't be--
-(phone vibrates)

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

-I have to go to the office,
I will be right back.
-What, what, what?

Bon-Bon,
what am I gonna do?

Prison is such
a cold and lonely place,
and my life is so empty!

Even with the badminton
tournament comin' up.

I know, I know.

Oh, my God. Brad!

Brad! We are
completely alone.

No one came to take you
back to lockup!

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Well, I was thinking
that my life is pretty much
over, but sure, why not?

No, no, not now!

No. No. I'm busting you
out of here.

Just put your head down
and keep going until I say stop.

And if we make it
out of here alive,
get used to hearing that.

Problem solved!
The Baby Place said
their baker is gone for the day,

but they'd send
something else
instead.

There should be a box
here any second.

Oh, man, the anxiety's
killin' me.

I knew I never should've gone
behind Riley's back.

Dude, it's your kid, too.
You have the right to know

whether it's comin' out
with a dingley-doo

or a vee-jingley-jay.

Hi. Did the box come?
They called and said
there was a box coming!

Box? What box?
Why would there
be a box?

Well, they called the office
and said it was on its way,

so I ran all the way over there
before I realized

they might be sending it
to the apartment.

You should probably sit down,
you crazy pregnant lady.

And we'll go look
for this mystery box of yours.

Now, Danny.
Let's go now.

I thought she didn't
want to know the sex
of the baby.

Dude, her hormones
are ragin' right now!

I don't even know
what she wants!

Except I'm supposed to know
what she wants!

-Hey, she might know
about the box...
-(elevator dings)

...but she obviously
doesn't know that we're
the ones who called.

I've got a box
for a Riley Perrin.

I'm Riley!
It can be a boy's name, too.

Thank you.
See you later.

Okay, and you're sure
they said it was coming here?

All right, I'll go
check my apartment.

Hold on.

(gasps)
Riley Perrin?

Oh, my God, yes, thank you!
You saved my life!

-Mrs. Wheeler?
-Oh! Riley! Hi!

Um, I, um...
I just slipped in here
to check on Emma.

I got it! I got the box.
Brad's gonna go free!

What? Really?
Oh, my God, Riley,
that's amazing!

-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God, I'm so happy!

(Bonnie laughing)

(gasps)
Oh, my God!

Brad, what are
you doing here?

Well, you know, it seemed like
you were gonna lose, so...

So you broke him out?

You're right...
she is totally not cool.

I know.

(knocking on door)

Lady Justice is in the house!

Call her up to sue your spouse!

(laughing)
Man, I'm killin' it out there!

I'm about to kill you
in here.

What do you think
you're doin' out there,
upstaging me.

It's called the
Lady Justice Show,

not the Stupid,
Wise-crackin' Sidekick Show.

Who'd ever watch a show
with a dumb name like that?

I'm sorry. I didn't know.

I'll-- I'll pull it back.

Please. I really need this job.

Finish up your day
and then you're on your way.

Ooh, I like that.

Maybe I can work that in.

What? Whoa!

That is-- Is that
a quarter on the floor?

Oh, my God.

I'm bettin' right now you wish
you'd done a few more squats.

Okay. I'm gonna do it.

Wait, wait, wait.
Dude, dude, dude.

Now that it's here
a second time, I feel like
maybe we shouldn't open it.

And this is something
you should be sharing
with Riley.

And more importantly,
it doesn't matter
if it's a boy or a girl,

just as long as it's healthy.

I don't care, I gotta know.

Wait. What is this?

Luis Bustamonte?

Oh, no. This is the box
of evidence that Riley's
been waiting for.

We've gotta get
to the courthouse.

Okay, but if Riley finds out,
I'm on the record for giving
you that speech.

Yo, the judge is here.

Okay, let's put this gavel
to the metal

and get this trial started.

(chuckles)

You want me to rap,
you want me to rhyme,

well, this is my courtroom
and I ain't got the--

-Time?
-Oh, yeah. I was
gonna say that.

Look, help a sister out,
I'll let you back in.

Really?
I can have the job?

Mm.

Hey, order in the court.
I'm back in the hizzy,

she said I got the job,
and you know y'all missed me.

(all laughing)

Well, let's get this
trainwreck over with.

Wait. Where's the train?

Your Honor!
Your Honor, I'm here,

and I've got it,
I've got the box.

Oh. And where's
the defendant?

Here I am! Here I am.
Sorry, I, uh, just dropped
a contact.

You never know where
they're gonna roll off to.

Your Honor, this box will show
that Brad Walker is

a relatively innocent man.

All right, I would like
to present into evidence this--

-Riley!
-Oh, my God.

What is going on?

(gasps)
We're havin' a boy.

Oh, my God,
we're havin' a boy!

We are?

Oh, my God, I'm so happy.

We're gonna have a son.

I love you.

A boy.

This is amazing!

Finally...
someone will know my pain!

Well, this...

This all could
not be sweeter.

But, um...
Hello! I am on trial
for my life here!

Oh, right, um...

Oh, I believe
this one is yours.

Slight mix-up,
all your fault.

Don't worry,
you can apologize later.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
It's all here.

It's all here! Everything!

Names, dates, times
proving that my client
didn't do

almost everything
he was accused of,
just, in your face!

Is where I would like
to respectfully place
these papers.

Okay. Uh... well.

In light of this evidence,
I have no choice

but to set you free.

However, I cannot free you
from these lunatics
that you call family.

Ooh! May God have mercy
on your soul.

And with the new facts
come to light,

the strong defense
wins the fight.

Our man Brad
is free to go.

This is the
Lady Justice Show , y'all.

-Well, cheers
to you, Riley.
-Thanks.

I am pretty proud
of myself.

Though, no thanks
to any of the idiots
who live in this place.

You think they would
be at least a little more

supportive of someone
who's nine months pregnant.

Well, unfortunately,
I don't think this is gonna
make them any more respectful.

(drumming)

Sadly, they get
to take theirs off.

You get to take yours off
in a few weeks.

Oh, who am I kidding?

You're probably
never losing half of that.

What if it's sooner
than a few weeks?

How much sooner?

Aah, like right now!

Oh God, I think
I'm having a baby!

-Oh, my God!
-Now?

Now? It's happening,
she's having a baby!

Someone get the door!
Get the door!

(clamoring)

Oh, my God! And remember,
whatever drugs they offer,
take 'em!