All language subtitles for (1980)WhyDidYouPickOnMe[ING]

(jet whooshing)

[Announcer] Major
General McCourtney entering.

Strategic Radar Command Station.

[Man] Transponder
bouncing off at 26.3.

Captain Duart, sir.

(group chattering)

Operation's ready for you, sir.

[Man] XL2?

XL2, you're getting
in too close.

The wind's very strong there.

10 degrees west.

You'll be outta my
range within 15 seconds.

[Woman] Gotcha, roger.

You'll move your back line to
coordinate at distance seven.

Gotcha, hang on.

[Pilot On Radio] Jones
and eagles fired and ready

on round seven.

Just say the word,
and I'm ready to fly.

The galaxy team's
waiting for you, sir.

Dr. Barnes, General
McCourtney's here.

Meet them down on
the terminal, sir.

[General] You say you've
got a clear picture?

[Doctor] Ionic sensory
impulses have given us

this image, sir.

All we definitely know
is his code name, H7-25.

[General] Looks like a
pretty normal kid to me.

Any way of knowing
how old he is?

If he were a human being,
it would be very simple.

10, maybe 11.

But since he comes from
a different planet.

Outer Pieces
Constellation, to be exact.

That doesn't help
us very much, Doctor.

There are millions of kids
like that in the United States.

A needle in a haystack.

It'd be a very tough job.

The reasons
aren't known to us,

a certain sheriff has taken
the boy under his wing.

The two never stay
put in once place,

obviously to avoid
being discovered.

We've been able to localize
their movements, however,

within this radius.

Latitude X14, sector 34B.

We had this problem before.

But we know more
about him now, sir.

Boy plays around with a ray
gun every once in a while,

and we've been able
to pick up the signals

on high-frequency receivers.

Yes, in other words, you're
saying that all we have to do

is wait for this
extraterrestrial
boy, as you call him,

to play round with his ray gun.

If I may say so, you've
hit the bulls eye, general.

This is an emergency, and
I want immediate action!

Roger, Captain?

Roger, sir.

(helicopters whirring)

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Close in!

This is Captain Duart speaking,
Strategic Command Division.

I order you to come
out of that house.

You have no chance of escape.

You have 10 seconds, which means

that your time is almost up!

You have six seconds before
we break down the door

by order of General
Marion Hardrox McCourtney.

On your feet, men.

You're the sheriff
of this county?

Huh?

Reckon so.

And you're acquainted
with an extraterrestrial

who's named H7-25?

Oh, sure.

You know that he should be
turned over to the military?

Uh-huh, yeah.

I order you to
consign him immediately.

No.

What do you mean, no?

I mean no.

[Captain] That's
a weak answer.

I need more to go on.

He split out.

[Captain] (chuckles)
He did, did he?

And where is he now?

Well, his father came
down with a space ship

and took him away.

Well, I must say you've
a great imagination.

You really think
I'm an idiot, huh?

Yeah.

(spacecraft whirs and beeps)

("Mr. Nothingoesright"
by Douglas Meakin)

* Well I'm tellin' no lie

* Every time that I try

* To do anything right
I end up in a fight

* Nearly every night

* And the lady I'm with

* Well she usually says

* Goodbye

* It's amazing that
I ever ever get by

* what happens to me,
I think you'll agree

* Like dinner for two
well what would you do

* I ask for the bill
and to my despair

* My money's not there

* Mr, Nothingoesright,
everything's wrong

* Nothing goes right,
leave him alone

* Let me go home

* Look at him now,
leave him alone to cry

* Even at school I was the fool

* Breakin' my neck,
oh what the heck

* Mr. Nothingoesright,
everything's wrong

* Leave him alone
and let him go home

* I'm tired of livin',
I think I'll give in

* 'Cause I just keep
on hurtin' myself

* I'm going crazy,
I'm tired and lazy.

Good thing I told you
to call your father,

so as you could disappear
inside his spaceship.

Yeah, okay, you're right.

You did have a good idea.

But my father said
the next time,

we'll have to do
without his help.

He told me to tell you that
he can't just jump down here

every 10 minutes.

Hm.

Well, we're tryin' to
hide you from the nation

ain't no picnic, either.

And I ain't even your father.

Why'd you have to
pick on me? (Sighs)

(H7-25 laughs)

Hm?

(boy sighs)

[Child] Wait for me!

[Child] Last one
is a rotten egg!

[Child] That's not fair.

[Man] I hope this ain't
a rotten egg, Bessie.

[Child] I'm Genoa Walker.

[Child] Was he confirmed?

[Child] Of course
he was, stupid.

(children chatter playfully)

[Child] Let's play soccer!

Boom!

Okay, General, the war's over.

It's Christmas, and
it's dinnertime.

Thanks to you, this
is our holiday dinner.

Look, I said I'm sorry.

Listen, boy.

Do you know how many states
there are here in this country?

2 million?

No, 50, and in only one year,

we covered six of those states.

There ain't a county in
which I ain't been sheriff,

and only 'cause you
can't be a normal kid.

But I'm not a normal kid.

Well, you could at least
make believe, couldn't you?

So that every 15 minutes
people don't gather around

to see this phenomenon,
the miracle kid.

Look, I promised I
wouldn't do it again.

Hm.

You mean it?

Well, put it here, man to man.

But remember, when a man
doesn't keep his promise

here on Earth...

He gets disintegrated?

Disintegrated, no.

If that were the case,

there'd hardly be
anybody left around.

Even though you ain't a
habitual Earth-dweller,

I got a little
gift for you, too.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

(electronic warbling)

No you don't!

Packages are opened with hands.

Mm-hm.

Sorry.

(machine beeps)

Mm, that's much better.

Let's take a look.

(children yell playfully)

(playful instrumental music)

Now it's my turn
to give you a gift.

Oh, really?

Uh-huh.

Close your eyes.

Close my eyes, okay.

(machine beeps and whirs)

Well?

Okay, you can open your eyes.

(Scott chuckles)

You like it?

Hey.

You made a sucklin' pig

with your extraterrestrial
shenanigans.

I'm beginning to think you
didn't reach Earth by mistake

but just to bug me.

You made me a solemn promise
and even shook my hand.

Well, I thought we
could make an exception.

No, no, no.

There are no
exceptions, forget it.

It's a question of principle.

Put all the food back in
its original state, go on.

(machine beeps and whirs)

(pig snorts)

(H7-25 laughs)

Well.

You finished?

Yes.

(pig snorts)

A pig.

I meant our sandwiches,
not the pig.

("Mr. Nothingoesright"
by Douglas Meakin)

It was an honest mistake.

* Well I'm tellin' no lie

* Every time that I try

* To do anything right,
I end up in a fight

* Nearly every night

* And the lady I'm with

* She usually says

* Goodbye

* It's amazing that
I ever ever get by

* What happens to me,
I think you'll agree

* Like dinner for two,
well what would you do

* I ask for the bill
and to my despair

* My money's not there

* Mr. Nothingoesright,
everything's wrong

* Nothing goes right,
leave him alone

* Let me go home,
look at him now.

(Scott yawns)

(H7-25 whistles melodically)

(machine beeps and whirs)

(midtempo rock music)

(moves into eerie
suspenseful music)

Hey, what's wrong?

Nothing.

Mm!

Mm, good.

("Mr. Nothingoesright"
by Douglas Meakin)

(man hums)

Whoa, WHW, Willy
Howard's Wigwam.

Wow, hey wow, WHW, Monroe's
famous radio station

also 'cause it's the
only one in town.

Now, here's today's horoscope.

Great day for thieves,
beggars, and no good skunks.

So if you happen to
run into any of these,

shut yourself up in a
room for the next 24 hours

'cause we ain't got a
sheriff to apprehend 'em.

Authorities and
citizens of this town

are lookin' for a man
who's honest, courageous,

and willing to take
on the job of sheriff

in this once-happy village.

The pay is high.

The lodgings are good,
and the board is better.

All kiddin' aside, folks, we
gotta find a good sheriff.

Monroe's Eldorado
Days festivities

will start in a week's time,

and if we don't find a sheriff

to keep the party
poopers at bay,

we'll have to call
in the National Guard

like we did last year.

You hear that?

They need a sheriff.

I heard more than
I wanted to hear.

They need an army,
not a sheriff.

[Child] Lob 'em
that goofball, Willie!

(bat cracks)

(children cheer)

You know, I kinda
like this place.

What's your name?

H7-25.

Ha ha!

You see?

I mean Charlie,
Charlie Warner.

I'm the grandson of Minnesota

and I come from the
mountains of your aunt.

Your my aunt's grand nephew.

Mm-hm!

And you're from Minnesota,
and you're here for vacation.

Right.

Hm.

Now he's tellin'
me that I'm right.

(H7-25 giggles)

* I cut your hair,
I shave your face

* I preserve the human race.

Voila!

* I brush, I comb,
I twist I curl

* I wash...

[Scott] Why'd you stop?

Howdy.

It was you, with
your beautiful face.

You've come to the right place.

You'll have the
haircut of your choice.

Boyish bob, mannish bob,
short bob, long bob,

simple, yet bizarre.

And your beard, single
point, double point,

like Jesus Christ, like
Grant or Robert E. Lee.

Casque or goatee.

You chose your pick.

Yeah, yeah.

I really came to ask
about the new sheriff.

About where one
applies for the uh...

[Man] You mean, you wanna
be the sheriff here of Monroe?

Depends.

Let's take a look at you.

Yeah, looks like
you might work out.

(suspenders snap)

Huh?

He ain't too bad.

Oh, no, not too bad.

- Hey...
- You shut up.

He's got the face of a
sheriff, but he don't...

Oh, you don't got the smell.

Yeah, he'll shut
up, right, Derek?

No, no, he hasn't got enough...

[Man] Wit.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

We need a sheriff
that's got more...

(suspenders snap)
Elegance.

That's it.
(men laugh)

We need a sheriff
that's got more class.

Instead, you got
anything of class.

Pretty bad, wearin' suspenders

when you already got a belt.

Aw, shucks, I wear
'em in case my...

[Man] Your belt should slip.

Exactly.

Because you never can tell
when your belt might snap.

Hey!

(punching thuds)

(objects clatter)

Shame on you!

[Derek] My pants!

Shame on you!

[Derek] My pants!

Shame on you!

[Derek] My pants!

- Shame on you!
- My pants!

Shame on ya!

(punching smack)

Shame.

[Derek] My pants.

(man mumbles nervously)

Well, who's the person who
hires sheriff's around here?

You go past the shoe store.

Turn, turn.

And turn right, and
he's by the radio shack.

Go inside, look
for a Mr. Hollard.

- Right on.
- (suspenders snap)

(birds chirp)

(children chatter playfully)

This way, young fella.

Well, that's the house.

It's a great little house.

Southern exposure,
picture windows,

magnolias and honeysuckle vines.

Come on, let's take a look.

Hardwood floors, double beams,

they don't make houses
like this no more.

Watch your step.

I'll lead the way.

Screen doors to keep
the skeeters out.

A little luxury don't
hurt, I always say, always.

(Howard groans)

Once you get the
hang of it, it's...

Hey.

Looks like it could be rust.

No.

I just gotta get the hang of it.

It's a question of applyin'
pressure in the right places

on the key sometimes.

How long has it been since
the last sheriff lived here?

Well, don't tell
me a stupid door's

gonna frighten you away.

It's just a matter of (spits),

it needs a little lubifyin'.

It's worth the wait, you know,

once you get inside,
you'll find...

(door booms)

(frame clatters)

[Howard] I could
have done that, too.

Well come on in, let's
not stand on ceremony.

Make your self at
home, it's rustic,

but it's got
quaintness, don't it?

Yeah.

Who was the last
sheriff you had in here?

Buffalo Bill?

Tell you the truth,
I don't take much heed

of the passage of time.

It's one of my weak points.

(Scott chuckles)

However, to answer
your question,

I suppose it's true, that is,

that we've been without a
sheriff for a while now.

But once the dust is
cleared, you'll find

the house is
completely furnished

right down to the last detail.

And yet we ain't been
able to find a sheriff.

It's amazing,
seems incredible.

[Howard] Doesn't it, though?

Where does the mayor hang out?

Right in front of you.

Mm-hm.

And also the town's judge

and chief of the fire
department, honorary.

They also wanted
me to be sheriff,

but it wouldn't be
very democratic.

This way, look what
a roomy kitchen.

All the space in the world.

There's a back door there,
through there's a toilet.

Ain't no washin' machine,
but I own a laundry

just up the block, and
if you take up the job,

I'll give you a discount, 10%.

You accept?

Say yes.

(Scott groans)

Look, who's gonna be sheriff,
the kid or the big boy?

It's not a question of
who's gonna be sheriff.

The house is a bond.

Birds can fly in here and
nest and lay their eggs.

Ain't that right, Charlie?

(pager beeping)

Oh, the weather report.

I forgot all about it.

It'll only take a minute.

I'll tell my listeners every
cloud has a silver lining,

hope is the only answer!

(H7-25 laughs)

Uh-uh, no way, I
don't like this town,

so forget about it, Charlie.

Oh, I think it's a nice place.

It's a filthy stinkin' sewer.

It'd take around six months

to straighten this place out
if I don't fall apart first.

Of all the people on this earth,

he had to go pick on me.

(machine whirs and beeps)

(objects clatter)

No, don't do it, Charlie, no!

Don't do it, they'll kick
us out of this place, too!

Stop, Charlie!

Stop Charlie?

(machine beeps and warbles)

Hey, hey what's goin' on?

(Scott hums)

You mean you did it all
with that little dust rag?

Well, it's miraculous!

I could advertise it on my show.

I take it you accept
the offer then, right?

Fantastic!

Holy thunderin' Moses, if
you could clean up the city

the way you clean
this putrid house,

I could win a whole
bunch of wages.

Hold it a minute.

Yeah, okay.

Right here, well then.

How's it go?

No, don't say anything,
don't prompt me, there.

In the name of the
people in this county,

and the authority bestowed...

Upon me.

You know, I only got
one serious defect.

Got no memory.

With this star, I declare you,

(Scott winces)

yeah, it's movin' isn't it?

No, it's blocked.

Oh.

("Mr. Nothingoesright"
by Douglas Meakin)

* Well I'm tellin' no lie

* Every time that I try

* To do anything right
I end up in a fight.

Morning, Sheriff.

Hi.

Howdy, Sheriff!

[Child] Hi! (Giggles)

- Hi, Sheriff!
- Hi!

* It's amazing that
I ever ever get by

* What happens to me.

[Howard] This is
Happy Howard here,

we've got two news bulletins,
one's good and one's bad.

The good news, this morning
Monroe's got a new sheriff,

which means law and
order, hopefully.

But that's a bit of bad
news at the same time,

'cause if this new
sheriff is as terrific

as the boys down at the
barber shop maintain,

then the Eldorado Day blowout

with drinkin' bouts
and fisticuffs

is bound to turn into
a teetotaler's party

for the daughters of
American Revolution.

However, we welcome
our new Sheriff,

who's making his
rounds right now.

A matter of fact, he
should be comin' through

this very moment, yes
sir, right on the dime.

He's passin' our
radio shack just now,

and I tell you, it's a
comfortin' sight to see.

I'll defend this city and its
citizens with my very life

if necessary, said the
big man upon takin' oath.

Have a good day,
Sheriff! (Chuckles)

Yes, siree, it's a mighty
fine good sight to see.

(group chatters)

Can I help you, sir?

Yeah, I'm the new sheriff.

And here I bet you wouldn't
even start your patrol.

10 bucks wasted.

You can't win 'em all.

May I have a word
with the manager?

Hands up!

This is a stick up!
(patrons screaming)

Everybody there at the
counter, go on, move it!

Move it!

Faster, damn you, faster!

Everybody up
against the counter!

Hey, we're early this morning.

Usually he gets here
on my coffee break.

Raise your hands!

Go on, go on!

Anybody moves, I'll
blow their brains out!

What you puttin'
your hands up for?

'Cause he said he'd
shoot our brains out.

Mm.

(patrons scream frantically)

[Robber] Quiet
back there, shut up!

Shut up!

Next woman that squawks,

I'll put a bullet
down her throat!

That's the way I like it.

Nice and quiet.

Yeah, (chuckles) that's
the way I like it.

[Man] Oh, no!

He's cleaned us out again.

I said no talking!

Sir, this is our new sheriff.

There's nothin' new about him.

He's like all the others.

What's your excuse,
what's the matter?

Not enough pay or
just plain scared?

Both.

Yeah.

Alright, keep your hands up.

You, whattya got in there?

(chuckles) In you go.

[Employee] I
ain't got nothin'!

Then get out of my way!

(Giggles) Quit
the ticklin' buddy.

Where's your wallet?

Don't try my patience, Sheriff.

You've got three seconds.

One, two...

- Three.
- (punching thud)

I get impatient too.

Stop right there.

(punching thuds)

(robber moans)

(safe slams and clicks)

You can charge my
account for the window.

As you wish, sir.

(motors rumble)

(motorcyclists yell and whoop)

[Children] Here
come the zombies!

(motorists yell and cheer)

[Children] Here
come the zombies!

(motors rumble)

[Robber] This is a stick up.

[Scott] Yeah, all right.

[Robber] Get your
hands up everybody.

(motorists hollering
and whooping)

The local roughnecks, sheriff.

They'll destroy anything
they find before them.

Like a swarm of locusts.

But maybe not this time,

because as the
prophet Isaiah said,

"Truth is a sovereign
remedy for all affliction."

Well, here goes the
sovereign truth.

So help me.

(motorists whoop and cheer)
(motors rumble)

(dynamite sizzles)

(explosive booming)

[Robber] This is a stick up.

Don't anybody move.

What's going on, Howard?

Ain't nothing', Sheriff.

You just heard the
Harris's Firework Cowboys.

Better known as the
Dynamite Brothers.

They run a protection
racket here in Monroe.

You don't pay, they blow up
your store with dynamite.

(sirens blare)

It's a good thing my guys
in the fire department

are head's up, they'll put
out the fire in no time.

They're the snap-to
Monroe Fire Brigade!

Look at 'em go!

(sirens blare)

(crowd chatters excitedly)

Nice, quiet town.

(children yell)
This is Happy Howard here,

over at WHW, wow, hey, wow,

a couple of sports
events of the day.

A bitty basketball championship

between Monroe and
Walton's Grammar School.

Jump up, beautiful tap.

Monroe has the ball
and returns it,

oops, intercepted.

There's a long pass
by number 22, Simmons,

there's a lay up, missed.

Another shot and...

(whistle blows)
Ooh!

Dog gone, another two
points for Walter.

But have no fear, folks.

I've great faith in Monroe.

They intercept and pass
it to Charlie Warren,

number 15, Monroe's newest wiz.

He fakes, he
dribbles, he shoots!

(whistle blows)
(crowd cheers)

Aha!

It's Charlie going the
distance once again.

- Walton 40, Monroe 39.
- Time!

[Howard] They're callin'
time out, time out.

How we doin' over here?

[Howard] Monroe's
coach Jack Lawrence

is takin' it pretty
easy though, here.

He knows these boys can make it.

They got that extra
push, that extra grit,

that slap me five,
give me no jibe,

we're gonna make it, man-alive!

The scoreboard reads
Walton 40, Monroe 39.

It's a squeaker, folks.

Okay, okay you.

You need to come up
because you're the man.

We're lookin' for nothin' but
great things from you, okay?

Mm-Hm.

Alright, let's go!

Monroe!

For those who just tuned in,

we're at Monroe Field
for the bitty basketball

championship game.

Two team captains eye each other

like a couple of
fast-drawing, pistol arrows

ready for a shoot-out.

(Scott chuckles)
And I'll be darned

if Monroe's little Charlie

don't look like Gary
Cooper in person.

(whistle blows)

Walton's got the ball, there
are only a few seconds left,

exactly 32 seconds.

Simmons passes down
court, a set shot, misses.

Oh no, look out at
that guy Simmons!

Oh no, the game's over!

The game...

It bounced out!

I'll be a horned whippoorwill
if it didn't bounce out!

And now Monroe's little
Charlie's dribblin' the ball

down the court, dashin',
dodgin' swingin' his way,

and he's got a long pocket.

There are only 12 seconds
left, Charlie do something!

He's surrounded by
half the Walton team,

only six seconds left!

The score's 39 to
40, in five seconds,

four seconds, three
seconds, two seconds,

shoot, Charlie!

(crowd cheers)
He made it!

(Scott screams)

He did it, Monroe wins!

41 to 40!

I'll be a horned
whippoorwill! (Laughs)

(crowd cheers)

Hey, who are you?

Uh, I'm new in this town.

I traveled a long
way to get here.

Where you from?

I, uh...

[Jack] Where you from?

The Minnesota mountains.

My name is Charlie,
Charlie Warren.

Charlie Warren, hey!

[Charlie] I didn't do it
on purpose, it just happened.

[Scott] I'm sorry, Charlie,

but you can't play basketball
with those other kids anymore.

But why?

Because nobody on
Earth can jump that high,

now stop it.

I saw basketball
players who could do it.

Oh, sure, sure they can.

But they're over 20,

and they're called the
Harlem Globetrotters.

I'm not 20, but I can play
like the Harlem Globetrotters.

That's because you're
an extraterrestrial.

And so?

So you gotta behave
like Earth people do.

Like fighting with three
guys, is that being earthly?

You referring to me?

I don't like it, only
it's part of my job.

To drive a car, do I
gotta be old like you?

Wouldn't hurt, I could
tell you that much.

Oh, don't kids count on Earth?

It's not that
they don't count.

Would you stop foolin'
around, Charlie?

You're an extraterrestrial,

that doesn't mean you can't
behave like an Earth kid does.

You've been here long enough
to know all those things,

so stop the nonsense.

I get it now.

I mustn't do anything,
say anything,

understand anything, just like
an ignorant Earth kid, right?

Exactly, and you
mustn't be vile.

(machine beeps)

What's heatin' your space lamp?

Go, faster, faster!

Over there!

Over where?

You gotta hang a
right and a hard left.

I'll give you a hard
left you little imp.

I'm stoppin' right
here for my stomach.

I'm hungry.

Huh.

Nobody every told me what to do,

and I'm supposed to take
orders from half pint like you?

Huh?

Besides, we shouldn't
quarrel on an empty stomach.

All kinds of
restaurants around here,

you want some fried chicken?

Pizza pie?

Or three hamburgers,
a triple-decker, huh?

Thank you.

A triple hamburger.

(machine beeps)

Hey!

(midtempo rock music)

(motors hum)

(dark suspenseful music)

I'm beginning to think
you need a good spankin'.

Shh, not now.

Charlie, don't
give me no nonsense.

Can't you hear it?

No, not a thing.

It's there, I'm sure.

That signal is theirs.

What signal?

The aliens,
they're from Dameon,

third planet of the
star system Crenn.

These sounds are from
their energy transformers.

Hm, you watch too much
television, you know that?

Huh, Charlie?

No, I'm telling
you, they're aliens!

They're dangerous, ruthless,

and they won't stop at anything!

Hm, why should
that bother us any?

Hit 'em with your
(mimics ray gun beeping).

You're the one who
watches too much TV.

These really are aliens,

and they plan to take
over the planet Earth!

Ah, stop kiddin'
around, don't.

I'm not kidding!

They're armed with
a super weapon.

It's a machine that saps
humans of their will,

leaving them mindless.

(chuckles) Where'd you
get all this information?

They came to our planet 100
beta, 300 beta periods ago.

My grandfather
raced them in '23.

He used to tell me
about them, honest.

Fables and stories
about dragons and witches.

They used to scare me,
too, when I was a kid.

I can tell you that.

Hey!

(axes pounding)

They're the ones
you call aliens?

(motors humming)

[Derek] Hey, what is this?

(punching thuds)
(men groan)

(axes snap)

Monkey!

I owe you an
explanation, Sheriff.

You see, we're technicians

at the Telescopic
Space Center at North.

Obviously, the whole
area is off limits

to anyone who has no
business being here,

meaning these individuals.

They should never
have come here.

Seems to me you could have
found another way to tell 'em.

I'm sorry, Sheriff, we don't
respect your authority here.

Well, maybe you'd better
start respecting it, sir.

This area is still
under my jurisdiction.

Besides, any restricted
zone should be fenced off

and have proper signs
that say as much.

What's more, you're guilty
of assault and battery.

And I can be witness to that.

We'll have to go before a judge.

Meanwhile, I declare
you under arrest.

And so, as of now, I advise you,

any declaration you make
may be held against you.

Held against who?

What in tarnation's
going on here?

And who are you?

I'm the sheriff of Monroe

and I'm arrestin'
these technicians for
assault and battery.

You're not arrestin'
nobody, you hear?

But it's a culpable
act of aggression.

What's all this diddle-doodle
have to do with anything?

This zone is a
restricted military zone.

That means it is out of the
jurisdiction of your village.

And while I'm on the
subject, Sheriff,

you'd do well to pay a
little more attention

to that lawless town of yours
instead of botherin' us.

Have I made myself
perfectly clear?

I'm waitin'!

Clear, clear.

If you don't pay $30,000,
we blow you sky high,

that's what the Dynamite
Brothers say word for word.

They no fool around, Sheriff.

And, when they do, (speaking
in foreign language)?

If they come,
they sit at the bar.

I lead the way, bueno.

(uptempo dance music)

Why couldn't I just
wear I plain white jacket.

Oh, no senor.

You must be Americano,

like the barman that
was here before you.

If they recognize you, they
go get a bomb and blow you up.

Nobody knows me around here.

Gracias, Sherife.

Quit callin' me
Sherife, they'll catch on.

Sheriff!

Sheriff!

Can I come in?

(Scott groans)

Hi!

You sure look fancy, Sheriff.

What are you doin' in here?

I was about to ask
that to the sheriff.

Uh, well, if necessary,

a Mexican bartender
was also a sheriff.

You savvy?

You do?

No.

No.

I'm here incognito.

But do you know
how to be a barman?

Do I?

(chuckles) You've
gotta be kiddin' son.

Trumba tropical special.

Make it strong.

A trumba what?

Yes, a trumba
tropical special.

Oh, a TTS, there's
no problem, senor.

Yeah, I like that, nice touch.

Don't forget the pepper, huh?

Si, senor.

It's late, Charlie, be off
with you now, you hear?

To bed.

I can't, I got proof at last.

What's that mean?

That those funny
men are aliens.

Still worried
about aliens, huh?

Pour a little in there, yeah!

Hey, hold it!

What's cognac got to do with it?

Huh?

The aroma!

Ew, what a pervert!

I took these with my
photonic x-ray lens.

What did you take?

They're pictures, take a look.

I filtered them with
my triple x filter.

They're aliens alright.

(Scott hums "La Cucaracha")
There's nothing human

about them at all.

[Patron] Shake it, shake it!

See, there are
no bones or tissue.

You satisfied now?

They're made with alloys
that don't exist on Earth.

Looks very much like
my washing machine.

Hey, they egg!

You forgot the egg!

No, no, senor.

It's not the moment.

Now it is.

[Patron] Ah, what finesse.

Don't forget I like
it nice and hot.

And it's gotta have
a lot of pepper.

I sure love pepper.

And now, ole!

The shell and all. (Chuckles)

Man, what a connoisseur.

Hand-blended.

Too much, I'm overwhelmed.

A maraschino cherry,
how beautiful.

A little pepper, too eh?

I got some more
pictures, Sheriff.

And these don't only have
wires in their heads.

Beat it, you should
be asleep by now.

And I don't wanna see
no gruesome photograph.

All right, I'm going.

My drink ready yet?

Almost, senor.

Ole, ole, ole!

It's strong.

Got a lot of pepper?

It's just right.

It's gorgeous.

(patron slurps)

Ah, fanta...

(crashing thud)

(Scott whistles)

(machine whirs)

(footsteps pound)

(dark suspenseful music)

(door buzzes)

(midtempo electronica)

(computers beep)

(machine whirs)

(H7-25 sneezes)

(alarm beeps)

[Computer] Emission
of unidentifiable sound

of human origin.

Correction, of non-human origin.

(machine hums)

(device beeps rapidly)

You were stuck
by an Earth man.

Yes.

[Leader] Where?

Coordination
electromagnetic system.

His index circuit.

[Computer] Index
circuitry testing.

Probing rods.

(machines buzz)

(device beeps)

(alien stutters rapidly)

Recall senses in circuit.

Your identification circuit.

Matricular 3, 8,
process C, B, U.

Change all modular components.

(H7-25 sneezes)

[Computer] Repeated emission
of unidentifiable sound

of non-human origin.

Emergency alarm!

(alarm hums and beeps)

(uptempo electronica)

(H7-25 screams)

(crowd chatters)

There ain't nobody comin'
now at this time of night.

Let's get out of here.

[Bartender] Too late, senor.

[Scott] What?

Those hombres.

The Dynamite Brothers.

All of you out!

I gave you fair warning, Max!

You never did a fair
thing in your whole life.

You got exactly three
seconds to get out of here.

(Laughs) One, two, three, go!

Chair!

Why, you!

(objects clatter)

Oh yeah?

Oh, I got him!

(punching thuds)

[Woman] Oh, there's a
man in here, help, help!

What do you need help for?

(punching thuds)

Shut it!

(man yells)

(midtempo orchestral music)

(knocking)

[Doctor] Oh, hi.

[Howard] Oh, Doc, finally.

Come in, come in.

I think you know the sheriff.

[Scott] How do you do, sir.

[Howard] What took
you so long, anyway?

[Doctor] Well, I got
here as fast as I could.

What's wrong with the boy?

[Howard] Well, ain't that

what you're supposed
to tell us, Doc?

[Doctor] Yeah, hold my bag.

You know, when I feel
a chill comin' on, Doc,

I make a sweet Sicily
and marjoram herbal tea.

It's the best thing goin'.

I know all about your
herbal tea, Howard.

95 proof whiskey, right?

Well, it beats
your lousy medicine.

I'm sure it does.

It's a perfect remedy.

Yeah, like when
it make a hee-haw,

am I thinkin' you're a donkey?

Well, you should talk, Doc.

How about the time you
hooted like a mad owl?

[Doctor] Well, at
least it was Halloween.

If you don't mind, I
mean, this kid is sick, Doc.

Hm, sorry.

(rapid beeping)

Hm?

Huh?

Uh.

(heart pounds)

(H7-25 whimpers)

Open your mouth, son.

(whistle ascending)

The, uh, what's the?

Guilty.

I mean, nothing.

Everything's fine.

(glass pops)

Sheriff, this boy isn't normal.

That's why I put him to bed.

I mean, his
sickness isn't normal.

Listen, Oral.

Maybe what's not normal
are your thermometers.

Yeah.

There's nothing wrong
with the thermometers

I sell in my pharmacy.

Uh-huh, except
that they explode.

Sheriff, help me,
we're in danger.

An invasion by aliens.

There at, I saw them.

They're at the
military radio station.

Hm, (chuckles nervously) the
kid's delirious, delirious!

I can see that.

Are you tryin' to
teach me my job?

(H7-25 whimpers)

Don't you worry son.

I'll give him an injection.

[Scott] Easy boy, easy.

(Whimpers) Sheriff.

Yes?

They have got
to come and look.

Promise me you'll come.

You'll say that I'm right.

The aliens are here,
they really exist.

Promise.

Promise me.

A promise can't hurt you.

He ain't gonna remember a
thing once the fever goes down.

Make him happy.

Yeah, right.

Okay, I'll promise you.

[H7-25] Thanks.

This should lower
his temperature.

At least it should.

[Howard] If you say so.

[Oral] I say so.

(Sheriff groans)

Okay, young fella.

This'll only take a
sec. (Hums melodically)

(shot boings)

(motorists howl and cheer)

(motors rumble)

Hey!

Get me down, somebody!

Down that a-way, that way!

[Rider] Whoa, horse!

Whoa there, whoa.

Stop train.

Big Chief ready.

- [Rider] Right on!
- (laughs maniacally)

(group yells chaotically)

Get it out of the way!

What's this flag doin' here?

What do you think...

(punching thud)

(man screams)

(Howard laughs)

(man whoops and yells)

Watch out.

(punching thud)

Hittin' Indians, eh?

Ooh!

(man gargles)

28, 47, 39, hep!

(symbol crashes)
(man yells)

[Skeleton] Death unto thee!

[Football Player] 39!

Heads up to 137!

(symbol crashes)

- [Employee] Who?
- What?

[Employee] Oh.

[Man in Black] Pickin'
on aliens, are ya?

I'll show you, where are you?

Put up your dukes.

Kill!

Oh!

Death on Earth!

(skeleton yells)

(Howard laughs)

[Man In Black] Oh, a two by
four, who could ask for more?

I'll pound him once,
and even up the score!

(board crashes)

(punching thuds)

[Man In White]
(beeping) Judo, fist!

(man yells)

(man gargles)

[Man In Black] I can't see,
I can't hear, I can't breathe.

But I can smell him!

Here, have a broad side!

(man grunting)

(bones popping)

(men yell and whoop)

Ah!

(gang yells frantically)

[Man In Blue] Now, you
have to deal with me!

[Man In Black] No, way!

[Scott] Right here!

[Man In Blue] You're lower
than a snake in a cellar!

In basement!

[Sheriff] In a well!

(beeping and warbling)

(gang yells frantically)

[Football Player]
39, 18, 43, 21, 47!

(punching thuds)
(men groan)

(Viking groans)

[Viking] My
antler's are stuck!

(punching thuds)

[Man In Red] No
ticket, no laundry.

Hold on, man!

I'm sure we can iron
out our differences!

(press pounds)

[Football Player]
114, 16, 6, 18!

(objects clatter)

(press whooshes)

* Oh, say can you see

* By the...

(punching thud)

(man crashes)

Yeah, let's get out.

[Man In Red]
You're damn straight!

Okay boys, let's get out.

[Man In Black] Pickin'
on Indians. (Groans)

[Man In Hat] This is
a very dirty laundry.

Look at that, they
wrecked my whole place.

What are you doin'?

Get a move on, chop, chop, chop!

Yeah, don't talk your Chinese,
it's incomprehensible.

Go on, get a move on.

Go on, you two
clean up the boxes!

(employees speak in
foreign language)

[Man] That's
Japanese, Mr. Howard.

That's Oriental, anyway.

(midtempo electronic music)

(Scott groans)

I can't leave you
alone a minute, can I?

Small fry, instead
of waggin' your tongue,

go back to bed.

You shouldn't be here,
you're not all better yet.

Mm, no.

I'm better now.

I came here to remind
you of your promise.

What promise?

You promised that we'd go
and investigate the aliens

at the freaky space observatory.

Okay, a promise is a promise.

Let's go.

Halt.

You cannot go beyond this point.

Restricted military zone.

But I'm the sheriff
of the City of Monroe.

My orders are not
to let anyone through.

I think it's a case
to make an exception

for the sheriff of Monroe.

Being sheriff does
not make you special.

No exceptions.

Leave the area
immediately, please.

I'm lookin' for someone
who broke outta jail.

In such cases, sheriffs have
the right to enter any area

of any kind, article
three column A1.

Uh, yes.

Article three also
states that sheriffs

shall have military
police escort.

Okay, no objection.

Let's go, scallywag.

No, where is the boy going?

Only the sheriff can go through.

Article 28, the sheriff
has a right to an assistant,

a deputy, to help him out.

And so?

And so he's my deputy.

[Guard] He's too little.

The article doesn't say
nothin' about a person's height.

I'm not talking
about his size.

I'm talking about his age.

Article zero, don't
go hasslin' the sheriff.

Don't mess around, you
better let him pass.

Let's go, Deputy.

("Mr. Nothingoesright"
by Douglas Meakin)

[Guard] Control center,
inspection underway.

Sheriff and his deputy.

(liquid bubbles)

Measuring and
listening to stars.

I'd say that is our work.

Milky Way Galaxy here,
and there are other panels

if you care to follow me, sir.

(machines beep and hum)

The Pegasus
Constellation, Sheriff,

and the echoes of its voice.

I was lookin' for someone
who broke outta jail.

I already explained that
our automated control system

would instantly signal
out the presence

of an unauthorized entry beyond
any possibility of error.

I know, but I don't have
your faith in computers.

In errors.

(beeping)

(door hums)

I doubt you'll
find your escapee

in our broom closet, Sheriff.

We are forced to work
to artificial life,

and we have nothing to hide.

You are a little pale.

Besides your pale complexions,

looks like you don't
eat much, either.

That's because of
our macrobiotic diet.

Yeah.

(H7-25 groaning)

What is it, Charlie?

Excuse me.

What are you pointin' at?

This whole place looks like
a pinball machine to me.

(machines beep chaotically)

(mechanical humming)

What's he got to do with
the Milky Way and Pegasus?

What you have just seen is,
and must remain, a secret.

We've been trying to perfect
a robot of human likeness.

Well, seein' as
robots ain't human.

They make good
substitutes in some cases.

To be used for many tasks.

Heavy duty work, maintenance
and atomic energy plants,

interplanetary space travel
lasting many light years.

It's almost like sellin'
our souls to a robot deity.

Who programs the truth
the robot should follow?

That's a problem.

But not as insurmountable as
you should make it, Sheriff.

Actually, I'm only concerned
with giving the robot

a human likeness.

As for its heart,
soul and human nature,

I must perforce pass that on
to my colleagues in the future.

Why the sunglasses
if there's no sun?

I'm afraid there's
nothing more to see, sir.

(suspenseful electronic music)

(moves into uptempo
electronic music)

You did the right thing
in comin' to me, Sheriff.

It's a very serious matter.

You might say the whole
world's in danger.

I better let the
judge know about this.

You did the right thing
in comin' to me, Sheriff.

This is very serious.

The whole world's in danger.

[All But Scott] We'll
have to let the mayor

know about this.

You did the right thing
in comin' to me, Sheriff.

This is very serious.

The whole world is in danger.

[All But Scott] We must
tell the governor about this

right away!

Let's go!

You did the right thing
in comin' to me, Sheriff.

This is very serious.

The whole world's in danger.

[All But Scott] We must let
the general know right away.

After you.

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(Scott sighs)

You're an instigator.

One who subverts public order.

I warned you, Sheriff.

Orders obeyed.

Awaiting new orders.

Orders obeyed.

Orders obeyed.

Orders obeyed.

Orders obeyed.

Perfect, just perfect.

They respond with
complete resignation.

Their will is in our hands.

All earthlings will succumb.

And this planet will
finally be ours.

But to make our plan work,
I must eliminate that boy.

He's not an earthling.

(glass shatters)
(dramatic electronic music)

(door creaks)

(midtempo electronic music)

(mechanical whirring)

(metal clangs)

(man screams)

Localize the energy source
that pilots this toy bear!

Neutralize it, hurry!

[Robot] Neutralize toy bear.

Neutralize toy bear.

(mechanical whirring)

(crashing thud)

[Robot] No orders on the beam.

Circuits out, circuits out,
circuits out, circuits out.

Circuits out, circuits out,
circuits out, circuits out.

Circuits out, circuits out,
circuits out, circuits out.

(mechanical whirring)

(electricity zapping)

(mechanical whirring)

(cuckoo clock chimes)

Hm.

Look up there!

(suspenseful uptempo music)

Sheriff!

Help, Sheriff!

(machines humming)

(sirens wail)

[Guard] Open up, Chad.

(guard whistles)

Hey, what do you
say we put him in 46?

[Guard] Yeah, he'll like 46,

it gets a lot of
sunlight. (Chuckles)

He'll like the Jodies in
his cell, too. (Laughs)

You should get along great,
you're just their kind.

Yeah, you'll fit
in there real good.

Those Jodies are bound to
give him a big welcome,

don't you think?

Yeah, with open
arms. (Chuckles)

Eh, Chad?

We got a new tenant
for you, boys.

Your new boyfriend, fellas.

[Chad] Fats
Romero, six murders.

Kirk Rainer, four
life sentences.

[Guard] What do they call him?

[Chad] The vile. (Laughs)

[Guard] That's it.

[Chad] And over there, we
got the viking Henderson.

He murders to kill
time. (Laughs)

[Guard] And Henry Coleman,

breeds canaries so
he can strangle 'em.

Bye.

[Guard] Have fun.

[Chad] Yeah! (Chuckles)

You tired already?

Stand up, son.

Hey fellas,
hadn't you noticed?

This place is a mess.

Hey, we need a
good housekeeper.

Right, start with
cleanin' up the John,

then sweep the floor, make
my bed, do their laundry,

and do it now.

How about askin'
your friends to do it?

No, senor.

Hey, the rules are made
by nosotros. (Laughs)

And that means us.

(all laugh)

Okay, gentlemen.

(punching thuds)

(guards laugh)

What a beating he's getting!

I wouldn't want that
the guy gets hurt.

They're gettin' carried away.

(punching thuds)

Hey, what's goin' on?

It's a fine cigar.

Another drop?

(Scott grunts)

[Inmate] I'll shine
the soles, too, okay?

Yeah.

What's this, everybody
gone crazy in here?

We don't mind you havin' fun,

but there's a limit.

Come on, let's establish
a little order now.

Let's have a little
order here, now.

Alright, that's enough
out of you guys.

(men groaning)
(punching thuds)

What's happenin' in there?

(rapidly punching thuds)

[Scott] Take care, now.

- See you 'round.
- Bye, senor.

Hasta luego.

(footsteps pound rhythmically)

Boys, march.

Hup, two, three, four, hup.

(motor rumbles)

Charlie.

(mechanical warbling)

(belt thuds)

Charlie!

What's he up to now?

Charlie!

(Howard moans)

Good god, Mr. Howard.

What happened?

They took the boy away.

Don't ask me why.

That's right, Sheriff,
I tried stoppin' 'em.

But I couldn't do nothin'.

I don't know who
they are, either.

They're mighty rough, Sheriff.

You'll need help.

Don't worry about it,
just let me handle it.

Make ready for the operation.

[H7-25] No!

We'll have a first
humanoid robot.

No, don't!

I'm from the Pegasus
Constellation,

I'm not a humanoid!

Please, help me, Sheriff!

I'll die if they operate!

Please help me, Sheriff!

(mechanical humming)

(uptempo electronica)

(riders cheer and scream)

(riders yell playfully)

(uptempo electronic music)

(riders yell playfully)

(game dings)
(crowd cheers)

(crowd bustles and chatters)

(riders scream playfully)

(group cheers and applauds)

(whistle blows)

(dolphins squeak)

Citizens of Monroe,
your attention.

I beg your attention, please.

I'm beggin' you people.

Listen to me.

We don't have the
best reputation

when it comes to
bein' law-abiding.

Our community spirit
doesn't exist.

But now Monroe is
in great danger,

and so is our nation.

Yet I still have faith
in the people of Monroe.

They know when it's time
to come to their senses.

Only one man is
facing this threat

with no regard for his person.

(slow harmonica music)

(midtempo instrumental music)

(motor rumbles)

They're at our
complete disposal.

They must obey.

Now all humanoids must succumb
to our superior volition.

Encircle enemy.

Whistle the order.

(whistle blows)

Your enemy is the
sheriff of Monroe.

(midtempo instrumental music)

(sirens wail)

[Men] Them are state troopers!

(crowd screams frantically)

(magnet hums)
(metal clinks)

(crowd yells frantically)

- Come on boys!
- [Officer] Let's go!

Come on!

(man screams and whoops)

(punching thuds)

(bone crunches)

(punching thuds)

(crowd screams)

Hey,
hibbly-dibbly-scibbly-dibbly
(mumbles).

Henceforth, henceforth, pow!

(punching thud)

(men groan)

(slapping smacks)

(animals chatter)

(bones crunch)

(punching thuds)
(men groan)

(booming thud)
(animal chatters)

(symbol crashes)

(punching thuds)

(animal chatters)

(punching thuds)

(men yelling)

(man crashes)

(punching thuds)
(men groaning)

(slapping smacks)

(officer groans)

(ball booms)

(punching smack)

(punching thuds)
(men yell and groan)

(slide whistle descends)

(punching thuds)
(men yell and groan)

(slide whistle descends)

(slide whistle ascends)

(slide whistle decends)

(train whistle blows)

(men yell)

(punching smacks)

(slapping smacks)

(electronic warbling)

They're getting
the upper hand.

Bolster the cataleptic
import over the whole mass.

An incautious order.

You mind repeating?

An incautious order.

Insert a new behavior module.

(machine beeps)

Ah.

Ah.

Repeat, please.

A cautious and prudent order.

Bolster mass catalepsy.

(radio pings)

Check reaction.

Lower their efficiency quotient.

By two points.

(electronic warbling)

(punching smacks)

Lower another point.

(electronic twanging)

(punching thuds)

(whistle blows)

(footsteps pound)

(mechanical humming)

How is it possible
he's still rebelling?

And what's he doing here?

It's possible
that in his case,

our quotas don't respond.

He is brought here on logics

because of an
uncontrollable attraction

to our source of energy.

Verify sensory
functioning factor.

Insert computer.

[Computer] Humanoid
ordered to come forward.

To come forward.

Stop.

[Leader] Proceed
to position 22.

[Computer] Computer to
humanoid, veer to right.

Come forward 10 paces.

Come forward, come forward,
come forward, come forward.

(computer laughs)

His resistance coefficient
is simply running wild.

Drop it another two points.

[Computer] Humanoid, recede,
recede, recede, recede,

stop, veer to left.

Forward, subject endowed
with superior energy.

Lower yet, drop.

[Computer] Reaction
test necessary,

reaction test necessary.

Stop.

We'll soon find out, now.

(punching thud)

(punching thud)
(Scott chuckles)

(thud reverberates)

(symbol crashes)

(objects clatter)

Mayday, mayday, for reaction
test, find another way.

It's not clear,
what's the data?

Interrogate computer.

[Computer] Humanoid
immune to our energy.

He radiates biomagnetic energy.

Emergency, emergency.

Proceed, eliminate him.

(machines buzzing and whirring)

(punching thud)
Circuit's out.

Missed.

Try again!

Humanoid defeated.

(punching thud)

That's what you think!

[Robot] Miss, miss, miss.

(electricity zapping)

Miss, miss, miss, miss,
miss, miss, miss, miss.

Who are you?

Alien, schmalien.

Robot, rob-ot.

Humpty robot sat on wall,

Humpty robot had great fall.

- Miss, miss.
- You're an alien, schmalien.

Humpty robot together again.

Humpty robot had great
fall, great fall.

[Robots] Robots hit.

Robots hit.

Robot hit.

Robot hit.

Thank you.

Robot miss, robot miss.

Robot miss.

Robot.

Miss.

Hit.

[Robot] Circuits
out, circuits out.

You're an alien schmalien.

Energize,
galvanize, magnetize,

otherwise, electrobytes,
circuits out.

Circuits out.

Humpty robot blows a fuse,

goes around without any shoes.

[Robot] Alien schmalien.

[Robot] Thank you.

[Robot] Don't
mention, thank you.

May I have this dance?

I'd rather sit this one out.

[Robot] May I have this dance?

[Robot] I'd rather
sit this one out.

[Robot] May I have this dance?

[Robot] I'd rather
sit this one out.

[Robot] May I have this dance?

[Robot] I'd rather
sit this one out.

[Computer]
Emergency, emergency.

Proceed for auto destruction.

(robots chattering chaotically)

Emergency, emergency.

Proceed for auto destruction.

Emergency, emergency.

Proceed for auto destruction.

(electronic warble)
(glass shatters)

Sheriff!

Sheriff, you saved me!

(Scott chuckles)

(robots chatter chaotically)

(H7-25 giggles)

(festive marching band music)

[Howard] Yes siree,
ladies and gentlemen,

thanks to our Sheriff,

today's the best Eldorado
Day in Monroe history.

(crowd cheers)

[Skeleton] It's a great life.

(helicopters whir)

This is your one
and only Happy Howard,

ladies and gentlemen.

With all the news
that's fit to play

over the radio,
WHW, wow, hey wow!

(crowd cheers)

(helicopters whir)
(dramatic orchestral music)

Hold it!

Just as I expected.

Consign that boy over
to me immediately.

I can't, I'm sorry.

[Captain] Why can't you?

'Cause we got a rendezvous
with the kid's spaceship.

Obviously, you
think you're talking

to a pig-headed idiot who
doesn't know his enemy.

Yeah.

That's right.

(Chuckles) He does.

(electronic warbling)

Goodbye, Earth!

And thanks!

(machine beeps)

I think I turned you
into an extraterrestrial.

Hm, well just tell
me this, Charlie.

("Mr. Nothingoesright"
by Douglas Meakin)

* Well I'm tellin' no lie

* Every time that I try

* To do anything right
I end up in a fight

* Nearly every night

* And the lady I'm with

* Well she usually says

* Goodbye.

* It's amazing that
I ever ever get by

* What happens to me

* I think you'd agree

* Like dinner for two,

* Well what would you do

* I ask for the bill
and to my despair

* And my money's not there

* Mr. Nothingoesright,
everything's wrong

* Nothing goes right,
leave him alone

* Let me go home,
look at him now

* Leave him alone to cry

* Even at school I was the fool

* Breakin' my neck,
oh what the heck

* Mr. Nothingoesright,
everything's wrong

* Leave him alone
and let him go home

* I'm tired of livin',
I think I'll give in

* 'Cause I just keep
on hurtin' myself

* I'm going' crazy

* I'm tired and lazy

* And so to keep out of trouble

* I won't even get out my bed

* I'm tired of livin',
I think I'll give in

* 'Cause I just keep
on hurtin' myself

* I'm going crazy,
I'm tired and lazy

* And so to keep out of trouble

* I won't even get out my bed

* Take a look at me
now, what have you done

* I'll show you how,
have you some fun

* I'll do it again

* Look at me now,
playin' the game of fools

* Nothing goes right
and it's so wrong

* Even in tryin' to sing
this song, sing it again

* I'll sing it
again, sing it again

* And we'll go home

* It's a terrible
shame, what a big mess

* Am I to blame, makin' mistakes

* Look at me now, he's
been tryin' so hard

* Nothing goes right
and it's so wrong

* Even in tryin'
to sing this song

* Sing it again

* Sing it again
and we'll go home

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