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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,670 'I'll get it.' 2 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,000 - Hiya. - Oh. - Got a delivery. - Oh, thanks. 3 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,950 - Thought that was Kelly. - No, no. 4 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,950 - Who are they from? - Erm... 5 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,950 - George and Jenny. - George and Jenny? 6 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,950 Yeah. Who's that? 7 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,000 No idea. 8 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,950 George and Jenny... 9 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,950 I went to school with a Jenny, but she hated my guts. 10 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,000 - Did she? - Yeah. Can you get me a vase, love? 11 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,950 Erm... I might just use a vase, actually. 12 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,200 No, it's fine. It's easier. 13 00:01:08,950 --> 00:01:09,950 Lovely. 14 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,100 - It's just an easier way of doing it. - Yeah. 15 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,950 That'll be Kelly. 16 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,950 - Hello! Nice to meet you. - Yes! And you, Kelly. 17 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,950 - Oh. - Oh. - Sorry. 18 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,950 Sorry. I never know whether to, erm... 19 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,950 - Don't worry. - Was it nice? 20 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,950 - Yeah. - Good. Erm... 21 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,950 Well, come through. Come through into the living room. Make yourself at home. 22 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,950 I just wanted to say, actually, Cathy. 23 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,950 I've, erm, I've had a bit of a problem with my dress. 24 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,950 - OK. - My mum washed the wrong black dress and it's really short, isn't it? 25 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,950 You can see her bum. 26 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,950 Yeah. And was like, "Mum, this is Jason's dad's funeral! 27 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,950 "I can't go to Jason's dad's funeral with my bum out, can I!?" 28 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,470 So, erm... 29 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,950 It's the only one I had that was, like, respectful 30 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,950 or, like, long enough. 31 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,950 Also, I'm sorry about my roots. 32 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,950 Well, I think you look absolutely lovely, Kelly. 33 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:07,950 And it's so nice of you to come. 34 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,950 - Dave would've been very touched. - Oh. 35 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000 Wow. Erm... 36 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,950 - I'll show you the kitchen. - Cool. 37 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,950 Well, it's so nice to meet you at last, Kelly. 38 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,950 - A shame it's on such a sad occasion. - Yeah. 39 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,270 Erm... 40 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,950 Sorry, I didn't have any breakfast. 41 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,950 Oh, that's OK. 42 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:34,950 Do you want the lid? 43 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,000 Erm, I'm all right. 44 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,950 I just wanted to say, actually, Cathy. 45 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,950 I'm so sorry about the death of your husband. 46 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,950 Oh, thanks. Yeah. 47 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,950 And he took so long to die. 48 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000 Yeah. 49 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,950 - Can I get you anything to drink? - No. 50 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,950 Thanks, Cathy. It'll only make me wee. 51 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,950 - I do like coffee, though. - It's nice, isn't it? 52 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000 Yeah. It's bitter. 53 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,950 Has Jason told you about my loyalty card? 54 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,950 No. Which means, basically, my next cup of coffee's free. 55 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,950 - Wow. - It's a good system, isn't it, Mum? 56 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,950 Yeah, that does sound very good. Well done. 57 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,950 - They get the coffee beans from Peru. - No. - Yeah. - Peru? 58 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,950 You can actually see the sacks they arrived in. 59 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,950 The first coffee I bought was what's known as a latte. 60 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,300 - Sorry, Kelly, I'm just going to, erm... - Yeah. 61 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,950 ♪ I got my ticket for the long way round 62 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,950 - ♪ Two bottle whisky for the way... ♪ - Morning. 63 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,950 ♪ And I sure would like some sweet company 64 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,950 ♪ Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say? 65 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,950 - ♪ When I'm gone - ♪ When I'm gone 66 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,950 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone... ♪ 67 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,950 Morning! 68 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,950 - Oh hi. You all right? - Hello. 69 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,000 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 70 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,950 ♪ I got my ticket for the long way round 71 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,950 ♪ The one with the prettiest views 72 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,950 ♪ It's got mountains, it's got rivers, it's got woods 73 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:21,950 ♪ That will give you shivers 74 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,950 ♪ But it sure would be prettier with you 75 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,950 - ♪ When I'm gone - ♪ When I'm gone 76 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,950 ♪ When I'm gone 77 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,000 ♪ You're going to miss me when I'm gone. ♪ 78 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,950 - Here she is! Big sis! - [Hello!] 79 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,950 Haven't you grown! 80 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,950 - I always say that, don't I? - Yeah, it's great. 81 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:50,950 Oh, you remember Pauline? 82 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,950 Yeah. Nice to see you again. Thanks for coming. 83 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,950 No, not at all. I love a funeral. 84 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,950 Good. 85 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,950 Tea? I've just made them for Jason. 86 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,470 Thank you. 87 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,950 - How are you feeling? - Yeah, fine. 88 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,950 - I'm sure it'll hit me later, but I'm trying... - Is this from a pot? 89 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,950 Sorry to interrupt, Cathy. Did you make this tea in a pot? 90 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,950 - Er, no. - Right. 91 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,470 - Is that OK? - Yes, of course. 92 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,400 - Sugar? - Well, it's going to need some flavour, isn't it, Cathy? 93 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,950 - All right, Michael? - All right, Jason, you OK? 94 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,950 Yeah, you know. I'm trying to look after my mum, really. 95 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,950 - Help with the flowers. - That's nice. 96 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,200 Yeah. Ironed my own shirt. 97 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,950 Well done, mate. 98 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,950 She's in there. 99 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,670 Michael's here! 100 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,950 Garden's looking nice. What happened about your pond? 101 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,950 Oh... No, we didn't get one in the end. 102 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,950 What stopped you getting a pond? Realise it was tacky? 103 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,950 Erm... No. 104 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,950 - Oo! Cake! - Mmmm! - Lovely. 105 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,950 Oh, please. Take it all. It'll only go to waste. 106 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,950 - I will. Looks great! - Yes. 107 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:10,950 - Yeah. I made it myself. - Sorry, Cathy, can I borrow some knickers? 108 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:11,950 Erm... 109 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,950 And I just thought, "Oh, blimey, I should probably be wearing some." 110 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,950 Michael, this is Kelly, Jason's girlfriend. 111 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,950 Kelly, this is Michael, an old, old friend of ours. 112 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:20,950 Hiya. Pleased to meet you. 113 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,950 And you. Yeah. Erm... 114 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,950 I'm sorry to hear about your dead friend. 115 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,950 - Thanks. - Shall we, erm... 116 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:30,950 Yes! 117 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,950 Sorry. Was that all right? I never know what to say. 118 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,950 Don't worry. I've only ever been to one funeral, and that was when my dog died. 119 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,950 - I played the vicar. - Did you? Yeah, I was really good, actually. 120 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,950 Wait that's you?! 121 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,000 - Yeah. - No! - Yeah. 122 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,950 I can't believe that's you. You look so pretty. 123 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:51,950 Thanks. 124 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,950 I can't believe you got married in brown. 125 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:55,950 What was wrong with you? 126 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,950 - It was the fashion back then. - No! - Yeah. 127 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,950 Aw! That's cute. 128 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,950 People were so funny in the olden days. 129 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,000 When me and Jason get married, I'm wearing white. 130 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,950 - Shall we? - Yeah. 131 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,950 Can I just ask, is it awkward that I'm borrowing your knickers? 132 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,950 No, Kelly, it happens all the time. 133 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,950 Does it? 134 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,950 Last time I was here, it was all about the pond. 135 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:21,950 - Don't sit there. - Why not? 136 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,950 Look at it. 137 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,950 And don't stand like that. For god's sake, Derek. 138 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,950 I can't believe I have to tell you how to stand. 139 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000 Yeah, sorry. 140 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,950 - They're off. - (OK, well, don't say anything to her.) 141 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,950 - They've gone white, Derek. - (Yeah, but don't say anything.) 142 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,950 You all right, Uncle Derek? 143 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,000 Ask him. 144 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,950 All right, Jason, lad. Sorry about that. 145 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,950 I was just sorting something out with Pauline. How you doing, mate? 146 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,950 Yeah, you know. Trying to help Mum, really. 147 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,950 - She's looking good, though. - Yeah, she's been amazing 148 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,950 And you? You coping all right? 149 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,950 Yeah, you know. Just need to get through today, really. 150 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:03,950 Hmm! 151 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,950 - It must be so hard for you, losing your husband. - Yeah. 152 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,950 It's not been great, but I've had a long time to prepare, so... 153 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,950 Yeah. When my dog died, he'd been through chemo 154 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,950 and also they cut his leg off and put him on wheels, so we were 155 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,950 all, like, he's bound to die now, and then he got hit by a lorry. 156 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:20,950 OK. 157 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,950 - Shall I stop talking about my dog? - That's my knicker drawer. - Right. 158 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,950 So help yourself to anything you need. 159 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,950 I'm just going to pop to the toilet. 160 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,140 Number one or number two? 161 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,950 I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. 162 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,950 It's literally none of my business what you get up to in there. 163 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,800 Don't worry, love. 164 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,950 Oh, Michael, hello. 165 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,950 - Yeah. - You OK? 166 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,950 Yeah. You? 167 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,200 Yeah. 168 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,950 (Kelly's just borrowing a pair of my knickers.) 169 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,540 Oh, lovely. 170 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,950 Pauline. 171 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,950 She's a lovely little thing. She's a real looker. 172 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,950 Isn't she? 173 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:05,950 Yeah. 174 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,950 She's been in an advert. 175 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,950 But at the same time and this is rare for a good-looking woman 176 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,540 she's also got a good personality. 177 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,950 She was sort of wondering about getting to the crematorium, 178 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,950 if there's any room for her in the funeral car? 179 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,950 - Erm... - It's fine. Sorry. Don't worry. 180 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,950 I don't want to make things difficult for you. 181 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,950 No, you're not. You're not. She'll understand. 182 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,400 She's a very reasonable person. 183 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,000 You looked lovely. You both did. 184 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,950 You had a good dance with my mum. 185 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,950 Mmm. Lucky me. 186 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,950 Oh, don't. She always talked about that. 187 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,950 Beautiful day. Beautiful wedding. 188 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,950 You were so nice about me in your speech. 189 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,950 It was all lies. 190 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,950 Do you remember when we hid in your car 191 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,950 so I could have a fag without my dad seeing? 192 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,950 Oh, yeah! I remember. 193 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,950 Pair of bloody idiots. 194 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:25,000 - Have you knocked? - No. They've been in there for quite a while. 195 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,950 You have to give it a little shove. Do you want to go first? 196 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,950 No, no, you go ahead, I'll be ages. 197 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,950 Oh! No, I didn't... No, I didn't, didn't mean that. 198 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,950 - You sure? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go right ahead. 199 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,950 - I won't be long. - No, it's fine. You take as long as it takes, as long as you need. 200 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,700 I'll be right here. Don't worry, I won't be listening. 201 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,950 That's it, Maureen! Nearly there! 202 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,950 I'm in constant pain, Cathy. 203 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:34,950 OK. 204 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,950 She's faking it, the fat slag. 205 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,950 All right, Reg. 206 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:39,950 I need water! 207 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,950 Hello, Nan, Grandad, you all right? 208 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,950 They've put me on another load of new pills! 209 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:45,950 Oh, no! 210 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,950 They're the same pills! They're in a different box! 211 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,950 - Thick bitch. - Why have you changed the windows? 212 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,950 Er, we haven't, Maureen. 213 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,950 They're the same windows as the last time you were here. 214 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,950 Why is she lying to me about changing the windows?! 215 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,950 - She hasn't! They're the same windows! Why would she change the windows? - That's what I want to know! 216 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,950 - Kelly, let me introduce you. - Hello! 217 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,950 This is Dave's parents, Maureen and Reg. 218 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,950 Maureen and Reg, this is Kelly, Jason's new girlfriend. 219 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,950 It's nice to meet you both at last. 220 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,950 I'm so sorry about your loss. 221 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,950 Thank you, yeah. It's been very hard. 222 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,950 - You shouldn't have to bury your own child. - No. 223 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,200 God. 224 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,870 Well, you'd think they'd do that for you. 225 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,950 Oh, no... I see what you mean, yes. Sorry, sorry... 226 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,950 - It's OK, Kelly. - I thought you meant you actually had to dig... 227 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,950 Kelly? Your mum washed the wrong black dress, didn't she? 228 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,950 - That's why you're in bright red. - Yes! 229 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,950 I've got two black dresses, one of them's a bit like... 230 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,950 My ex-boyfriend used to like it when I... I dunno how to put it. 231 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,950 - We don't need to know. - True. True. Sorry. 232 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,950 - Yeah, and the other one's a bit more like... - Is she speaking to me? 233 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,950 - Yeah, she is. - I can't hear a word you're saying. 234 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,950 I've got two black dresses, Maureen! 235 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,000 - She's got two! Black! Dresses! - Kelly? 236 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,950 - What is wrong with me? - Don't worry about it. Honestly. 237 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,950 My mum's like, "Kelly, think before you speak," and I'm like, 238 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,950 "I do." And then I think they're 239 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,950 - actually going to make him bury his own son. - Yes, keep moving. 240 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,950 Seriously, Cathy. I was picturing him with a shovel. "He's 100 years old! 241 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,950 - "He shouldn't be doing that!" Do you know what I mean? - Keep moving. - Honestly, Cathy. 242 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,950 It's like my brain's made of bananas. 243 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,950 - Nan, where do you want your water? - He wants to know where to put your water! 244 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,950 - Oh, shut your face, you stupid old man. - I'll leave it here. 245 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000 Thanks, Jason. 246 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,950 Jason's such an amazing boyfriend. 247 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,950 And he's coped so well with his dad and everything. 248 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,950 Yeah. He's been very strong. 249 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,950 Yeah, and he's so intelligent! 250 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,200 Yeah. 251 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,950 You won't lose my page, will you, love? 252 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,140 No. 253 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,950 Yeah, no, it's great, really. 254 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,950 - He's so much better than my ex. - Good. - Yeah. 255 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,950 Yeah. My ex was like... 256 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,950 Well, if you met him, you'd think he's nice because he'd be nice to you 257 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,950 because you're you, but he wasn't very nice to me, if I'm honest. 258 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,950 - He used to sort of control me and stuff. - Oh, no. 259 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,950 Yeah. He used to call me names and things, 260 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,950 and then towards the end, it all got a little bit physical. 261 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,950 Oh, God, Kelly. I'm so sorry. 262 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:45,950 Yeah, well. 263 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,950 I'm, like, over it now, I got myself out of it, 264 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,950 - .. put it all behind me, so... - Yeah, but that must've been very hard for you, love. 265 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 Yeah, well. 266 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,950 Is Jason, erm... 267 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,950 Sorry if this isn't the sort of thing to say at a 268 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,950 funeral, but has Jason said anything to you about asking me to marry him? 269 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,950 Erm... No. No. 270 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,400 What makes you think he might? 271 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,950 Well, you've only been going out a few months. 272 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,950 Yeah, but they've been the best few months of my life. 273 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,950 You're both still young, aren't you? 274 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,950 Not really, Cathy. I'm 26. 275 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,950 Oh! 276 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,000 - 'Mum? The hearse is here.' - OK, love! 277 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,950 - Rubbish. - OK, fine. But I did. 278 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,950 - Shut up. - OK, fine. 279 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,950 - You didn't invent it. - I did! I've been saying it for years. 280 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,950 - Shut up! - I'd be like seven years old or something, 281 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,950 and somebody would drop, like, a plate or something, and I'd be like, 282 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,950 "Keep calm and carry on." 283 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,950 It's true! 284 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,950 Or like, we'd be late for school and I'd be like, "It's all right, Mum, keep calm and carry on." 285 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,950 "Keep calm and carry on." It was my thing. 286 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,950 You must've heard it off someone. 287 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,950 - No! Because I remember inventing it when I was... - Careful. 288 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,000 - We'll be out in a minute! - Whenever you're ready, Cathy! - Thanks. 289 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,950 Yeah, so, anyway, the point is, like, one minute it's my phrase, 290 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,950 I'm saying it round the house and that, next minute, 291 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,950 everyone's got it on a bloody T-shirt. 292 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,950 - Pardon?! - It's a buffet, Maureen. 293 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,950 What's she saying?! 294 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:29,950 It's a buffet! 295 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,950 What are we having? 296 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,950 I think it's just sandwiches, crisps, sausage rolls, that sort of thing. 297 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,950 - The pub are doing it. - What flavour crisps? 298 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,950 I dunno, Reg. It's just a buffet. 299 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,950 I'll have a ham sandwich and half a sausage roll! 300 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,950 You can help yourself, Maureen. It's a buffet. 301 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:47,950 Have they got any eggs? 302 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,950 - Is there mayo in the sandwiches? - Have they got any eggs?! 303 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,950 I don't know, Reg. It's just a normal buffet. 304 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,950 I'll have an egg-and-ham sandwich! 305 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,950 It's a buffet, Maureen! You help yourself! 306 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,950 Don't worry about the mayo, Cathy. 307 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,000 I'll ask the waiter when he takes my order. 308 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,950 What did you order? 309 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,950 I'm going to talk to the waiter about it. 310 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:09,950 Pardon? 311 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,470 I'm going to talk to the waiter! 312 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,950 - You all right, Cathy? - Yeah. 313 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,400 Um, the hearse is here, but I can't find my, er... 314 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,950 I can't find my glasses. 315 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,000 I keep putting them down and forgetting where I've put them. 316 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,140 Oh! 317 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,470 More flowers. Who are they from? 318 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,950 Hello again. 319 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,340 - Hi. You all right? - Yeah. 320 00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:53,950 Can I ask about this pond? 321 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,950 Pauline? 322 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:56,950 No, I'm just interested. 323 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,950 What was it, Cathy? Water feature? 324 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,950 Couple of fish? 325 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,950 Little bench for the two of you? 326 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,950 I just thought it'd be nice, but Dave didn't like 327 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,950 - the ones at B&Q so... - B&Q! Of course you went to B&Q! 328 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:10,950 They're off, by the way. 329 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:11,950 Sorry. 330 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:16,000 Oh, don't apologise. Too late for that. 331 00:18:21,950 --> 00:18:22,950 Nice cake, Cathy. 332 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:23,950 Thanks. 333 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,950 Get us another bit. 334 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,740 Just one minute. 335 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,950 - Pauline? - Hello again, Catherine. - Oh, hi. 336 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,950 I see you put some flowers in a pint glass. 337 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,200 Yeah. What a lovely touch. 338 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,950 So, erm, what's happening after we've, er, 339 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,340 after we've, erm, you know... 340 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,950 .. when we've "said goodbye"? 341 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,950 Well, we're all just going to The Crown. They're doing a buffet. 342 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,950 Oh, nice. Lovely. That sounds nice, doesn't it? 343 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,740 Yes. A buffet in a pub. How authentic. 344 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,950 What does that involve, in practice? 345 00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,950 Well, it's just sandwiches, 346 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,950 sausage rolls, pork pies, that sort of thing. 347 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,270 Great. 348 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,950 They've also got a menu. 349 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,070 Oh, thank God for that! 350 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,950 OK, I know this is silly, but I can't find my glasses 351 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,200 and I've looked everywhere. 352 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,950 - Pauline! - Bloody hell! 353 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:26,950 I know she just thinks she's posh 354 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,950 and if Dave had done to me what her husband did to her, 355 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:31,950 do you know what? I'd be a mess, too, 356 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,950 and I know I shouldn't let her wind me up, 357 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,950 but, Jesus, she's a fucking twat! 358 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,950 I mean, the things she comes out with! Honestly! 359 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,000 She thinks she's being subtle, but bloody hell! 360 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,950 And I thought I'd be OK today. 361 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,950 Because I've been preparing myself, haven't I? 362 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:49,950 I've thought it through. I have. 363 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:54,950 I've thought about it every night since he told me what was going on 364 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,950 and he'd be all, "Oh, it'll be OK, it'll be fine, don't worry", 365 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,950 because I don't think he actually believed he could die, did he? 366 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,950 But I was preparing myself and I was googling it 367 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,950 and I was reading up on it because I knew it'd end like this. 368 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:10,950 I knew it would. 369 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,950 And I've been through all that with my mum and dad, haven't I? 370 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,950 And the problems we had having Jason, 371 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,950 and that was horrible and I coped with that, so I thought I'd be OK. 372 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,000 But... honestly, Michael. 373 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,600 Jesus Christ. 374 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000 I miss him so much. 375 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,950 Not the Dave that we had in the hospital, 376 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,000 but the Dave who used to make me laugh. 377 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,950 It feels like it's been ages since I laughed. 378 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,950 And if he'd been here today we'd be hiding in here together 379 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,950 and we'd be laughing about what a prat Pauline is. 380 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,950 And now look at me. 381 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,950 People keep buying me bloody flowers. 382 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,470 What am I going to do with them? 383 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,950 Pauline! 384 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,950 I can't believe I'm letting Pauline get to me. 385 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,950 And I know this is ridiculous and I know I'm being silly, but the hearse 386 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,000 is here and we need to get going and I cannot find my bloody glasses! 387 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,950 Are they in any way similar 388 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,000 to the ones on your head? 389 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,950 That is so embarrassing, Michael. 390 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,950 Honestly. I'm going senile. 391 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:35,950 No, you're not. 392 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,950 Honestly. I've been looking for them for ages. 393 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,950 Oh, yeah, now you come to mention it, it's a bit worrying. 394 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,670 Yeah, thanks. You were a great help. 395 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,800 Oh, what a wally. 396 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,950 Getting all upset, going on like that 397 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,950 and being mean about poor Pauline, 398 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,950 going round looking for my glasses when they're on my bloody head! 399 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,950 I'm losing it. 400 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,950 - No, you're not. - I need to buy about ten pairs and put them in a drawer. 401 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,950 - I'm definitely losing it! - You're not losing it, Cathy. 402 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,950 Well, anyway, congratulations on finding your glasses. 403 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,950 I'll see you down at the crematorium. 404 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,950 Are we coming back here later? 405 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,950 No, there's a buffet at The Crown. 406 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,540 Oh, good. They do a lovely spread. 407 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000 You OK? 408 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,000 Yeah, fine. 409 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,000 We were going to do it for your anniversary. 410 00:22:50,950 --> 00:22:51,950 You ready, Mum? 411 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000 Yep. 412 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000 All right, Maureen? 413 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,950 - OK? - Thanks, Reg. 414 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,950 Careful, Derek. Don't drop her. 415 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,950 Leave her. She can walk. 416 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:13,950 Derek! You'll drop her! 417 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,950 Oh, wow, Cathy. You look so lovely. 418 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,950 Thanks, Kelly. 419 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,950 Can I get a photo? Show my mum? 420 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,950 Er, shall we just get going? 421 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,940 Good idea. I'll take it when we get there. 422 00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:29,950 Do you need a hug? 423 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,950 I'm all right, actually, thanks, Kelly. 424 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,270 Do you want to feel my coat? 425 00:23:34,950 --> 00:23:35,950 Thanks. 426 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,950 I'm just trying to think of ways to make you happy. 427 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:39,950 I know. 428 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:40,950 I've got some Rolos in my bag. 429 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,670 I'm all right. 430 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,000 She won't be a minute. 431 00:23:54,950 --> 00:23:55,950 Sorry. 432 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,950 I don't want my tummy rumbling during the service! 433 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,950 Don't worry. 434 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,000 I've just need to put my gloves on. Sorry. 435 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,950 I always get hungry. 436 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,950 Do you get hungry, Cathy? 437 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,070 - Yeah. - Yeah, me too. 438 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,950 What do you do when you get hungry, Kelly? 439 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,950 Erm... I usually eat something, don't I? 440 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,950 Yeah. And that stops you being hungry, does it? 441 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:19,950 Yeah. 442 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,950 Wow. 443 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,950 Well, that's why you feel hungry, isn't it? 444 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,600 Because it's your tummy's way of... 445 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,950 Are you taking the mickey out of me? 446 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,950 No... 447 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,000 Cathy! You're so naughty! 448 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,540 One minute. 449 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,000 Oh, for God's sake. You're kidding me. 450 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,670 Bloody things. 451 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,270 You've got to be kidding me. 452 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,950 ♪ I got my ticket for the long way round 453 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,950 ♪ Two bottle of whisky for the way 454 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,950 ♪ And I sure would like some sweet company 455 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,950 ♪ And I'm leavin' tomorrow What do you say? 456 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,950 ♪ When I'm gone When I'm go-o-one 457 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,950 ♪ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 458 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,950 ♪ You're gonna miss me by my hair 459 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,950 ♪ You're gonna miss me everywhere 460 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,000 ♪ Oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ♪ 35364

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