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1
00:00:00,191 --> 00:00:05,191
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:08,586 --> 00:00:11,287
Okay, children,
everyone pick an instrument.
3
00:00:11,322 --> 00:00:12,455
Doesn't matter which one.
4
00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:13,556
Everyone's gonna be bad.
5
00:00:13,591 --> 00:00:16,759
Eh, who cares? I'm union.
6
00:00:16,795 --> 00:00:19,896
I told you,
I am not playing an instrument.
7
00:00:19,931 --> 00:00:22,198
You're playing an instrument.
8
00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:24,500
Mom, music is made by computers,
9
00:00:24,536 --> 00:00:28,204
not rusty metal you put
in your... ugh... mouth.
10
00:00:28,239 --> 00:00:31,207
Look, your mom thinks
that forcing you to do music
11
00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:33,409
in school will somehow make you
into a different person
12
00:00:33,444 --> 00:00:36,078
than we all know you are...
which it won't... so just do it,
13
00:00:36,114 --> 00:00:38,047
or I'll cut all your shorts into skirts.
14
00:00:38,082 --> 00:00:39,248
Fine.
15
00:00:39,284 --> 00:00:41,250
What about this stupid thing?
16
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:49,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
17
00:00:50,295 --> 00:00:52,028
Why don't you try this clarinet?
18
00:00:52,063 --> 00:00:54,697
It's like the recorder, but cooler.
19
00:01:01,339 --> 00:01:03,739
What about this hobo guitar?
20
00:01:10,248 --> 00:01:12,748
At least he was wearing a tuxedo.
21
00:01:12,784 --> 00:01:14,383
Now can we get out of here?
22
00:01:14,419 --> 00:01:16,485
The Wi-Fi sucks,
and I'm trying to click through
23
00:01:16,521 --> 00:01:19,322
this slideshow of celebrities
who let themselves go.
24
00:01:19,357 --> 00:01:22,325
Word is that number four is insane.
25
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,227
And here's the form which says
26
00:01:24,262 --> 00:01:26,262
you're responsible for the instrument.
27
00:01:28,266 --> 00:01:32,602
So, if I break the violin,
Homer has to pay?
28
00:01:32,637 --> 00:01:34,570
Homer has to pay?
29
00:01:34,606 --> 00:01:36,639
The school is lending
your son an instrument
30
00:01:36,674 --> 00:01:39,041
that's worth $430.
31
00:01:42,947 --> 00:01:48,117
Violin, you and me are gonna
make beautiful music together.
32
00:02:12,510 --> 00:02:15,144
Bart? Bart?
33
00:02:15,179 --> 00:02:17,546
$430 violin?
34
00:02:20,351 --> 00:02:23,753
If the beer's in a frosted mug,
you're not an alcoholic,
35
00:02:23,788 --> 00:02:25,988
you're an aficionado.
36
00:02:26,024 --> 00:02:28,291
Hello, Father.
37
00:02:28,326 --> 00:02:30,226
Thank you for taking responsibility
38
00:02:30,261 --> 00:02:32,395
for this lovely instrument.
39
00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:34,330
I trust you find its music...
40
00:02:34,365 --> 00:02:36,933
soothing.
41
00:02:36,968 --> 00:02:38,968
Come on, dude, just leave me alone.
42
00:02:39,003 --> 00:02:41,804
I'm a good man. I've got kids!
43
00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:43,673
You're right, I've been too hard on you.
44
00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:45,474
Here you go. Catch.
45
00:02:56,955 --> 00:02:59,922
You. You. I took you into my home,
46
00:02:59,958 --> 00:03:01,791
and you've stolen everything from me.
47
00:03:01,826 --> 00:03:03,426
You know what this is?
48
00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:06,295
It's me playing
the world's smallest violin.
49
00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:14,570
I'm free. I'm free.
50
00:03:14,605 --> 00:03:16,205
I'm finally free!
51
00:03:18,576 --> 00:03:20,576
Mwah!
52
00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:22,411
Where are you going?
53
00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:27,116
To do to my brain what I just
did to your dreams for our son.
54
00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:30,720
Chug, chug, chug!
55
00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:32,722
Chug, chug, chug!
56
00:03:36,361 --> 00:03:40,396
The little engine that could...
get me wasted.
57
00:03:40,431 --> 00:03:43,165
Yeah, everyone loves
the ol' Disorient Express.
58
00:03:45,136 --> 00:03:46,802
Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking.
59
00:03:46,838 --> 00:03:49,105
What? You have the nerve to call me?
60
00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:51,240
Why don't you delete my number
from your phone,
61
00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:52,875
then put the phone in a sock,
62
00:03:52,910 --> 00:03:54,477
and then beat yourself in the head
63
00:03:54,512 --> 00:03:58,147
till your face looks like
motor lodge buffet eggs!
64
00:03:58,182 --> 00:04:00,149
Yeah, another prank call, huh?
65
00:04:00,184 --> 00:04:02,985
Who was it this time, uh,
"Anita Manbone"?
66
00:04:03,021 --> 00:04:04,453
"Ivan Talickya"?
67
00:04:04,489 --> 00:04:06,188
Ooh, ooh, I got one.
68
00:04:06,224 --> 00:04:08,290
"John Rootbeer."
69
00:04:09,827 --> 00:04:11,127
Eh, it wasn't no prankster.
70
00:04:11,162 --> 00:04:13,262
It was someone I know all too well.
71
00:04:13,297 --> 00:04:15,631
- Oh, who?
- Shut your stinkin' face-hole!
72
00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:17,867
That's who it was, okay?! Bar's closed!
73
00:04:17,902 --> 00:04:20,236
Everybody get out! Get out!
74
00:04:26,144 --> 00:04:29,111
Oh, stupid drunk breath.
75
00:04:29,147 --> 00:04:30,379
Ah.
76
00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:33,883
Oh, stupid drunk dog!
77
00:04:37,321 --> 00:04:40,423
Guess I'll have to order
a ride on my smartphone.
78
00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:44,026
Get in.
79
00:04:45,663 --> 00:04:48,364
No mints? I should've just called Uber.
80
00:04:49,567 --> 00:04:51,634
Hey. What's with Moe?
81
00:04:51,669 --> 00:04:53,302
It's too late for the cockfights
82
00:04:53,337 --> 00:04:55,037
and too early for the rat fights.
83
00:04:55,073 --> 00:04:57,740
He's been extra psycho
since he got that phone call.
84
00:04:57,775 --> 00:05:01,177
I just want to...
85
00:05:01,212 --> 00:05:03,546
Oh, it sounds like that time
you lit the barbecue
86
00:05:03,581 --> 00:05:05,014
with a possum inside.
87
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:08,150
Hmm, maybe we should follow him.
88
00:05:08,186 --> 00:05:09,785
Mm, you're the sober one.
89
00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:13,089
Call me, will you?
Oh, I'll meet you, all right.
90
00:05:13,124 --> 00:05:14,690
I'll meet you good.
91
00:05:27,238 --> 00:05:28,737
I'll kill you.
92
00:05:28,773 --> 00:05:30,106
I'll kill you, you dirty mug!
93
00:05:30,141 --> 00:05:31,907
You've got to stop them.
94
00:05:34,445 --> 00:05:35,945
Let me go, huh?
95
00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:37,513
I'm one loafer smack away
96
00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:39,482
from tearing off his whole hair system!
97
00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:42,017
Why are you fighting with an old man?
98
00:05:42,053 --> 00:05:44,753
Because this old man...
99
00:05:44,789 --> 00:05:46,589
is my old man.
100
00:05:46,624 --> 00:05:49,125
Morty Szyslak. Nice to meet you.
101
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,360
You mean nothing to me. Huh?
102
00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:54,697
All you are is a rotten old
rib roast covered in cologne.
103
00:05:54,732 --> 00:05:56,465
You ungrateful punk.
104
00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:59,368
You're not worthy to walk
through a cloud of my scent.
105
00:05:59,403 --> 00:06:01,036
I never should've called you.
106
00:06:01,072 --> 00:06:03,005
On that we agree.
107
00:06:04,442 --> 00:06:09,178
The saddest thing in the world
is seeing a family broken apart.
108
00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:13,482
Drunk dog.
109
00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:21,103
Oh, I ain't seen my pops for years.
110
00:06:21,138 --> 00:06:23,706
After he called,
I weakened and went to meet him.
111
00:06:23,741 --> 00:06:25,941
But one sniff of "Eau de Sportcoat,"
112
00:06:25,977 --> 00:06:28,277
and my shoe was in my hand.
113
00:06:28,312 --> 00:06:31,847
How could you go so long
without seeing your own father?
114
00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:34,783
Seriously, how'd you do it?
It sounds amazing.
115
00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:36,218
Yeah, well, let me explain.
116
00:06:36,254 --> 00:06:39,054
You know how the world
sees me as a... a...
117
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:41,123
- Human toilet brush?
- Bingo.
118
00:06:41,158 --> 00:06:43,759
Well, I'm the white sheep of my family.
119
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,295
They're involved
in a very evil business.
120
00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,530
- Illegal drugs?
- No, worse.
121
00:06:48,566 --> 00:06:51,634
- Prescription drugs?
- Oh, well, not that bad.
122
00:06:51,669 --> 00:06:55,337
The Szyslaks are... mattress salesmen.
123
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,406
Eh, I know, I know.
124
00:06:57,441 --> 00:06:59,975
They're like mortgage brokers
without the moral code.
125
00:07:00,011 --> 00:07:01,977
Charging people 1,200 bucks
126
00:07:02,013 --> 00:07:04,413
for what's essentially a big bag of hay.
127
00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:13,989
Growing up, it was me, my dad
and my brother and sister.
128
00:07:14,025 --> 00:07:16,058
We were the biggest
mattress chain in town,
129
00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:19,061
mainly thanks to our local TV ads.
130
00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:21,096
How does it...?
131
00:07:21,132 --> 00:07:22,298
There it is.
132
00:07:25,102 --> 00:07:27,069
Here ye, hear ye!
133
00:07:27,104 --> 00:07:30,072
I declare the best deals
in all the land!
134
00:07:30,107 --> 00:07:32,775
And don't ye forget: no credit...
135
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:34,543
No problem!
136
00:07:34,578 --> 00:07:36,278
So come on down to Mattress King,
137
00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:38,981
at any one of our many
convenient locations.
138
00:07:40,484 --> 00:07:42,685
We'll have you sleeping
on a new mattress
139
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,787
- to...
- Knight!
140
00:07:44,822 --> 00:07:47,056
- And cut.
- Great work, kids.
141
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:49,058
Everyone gets an onion.
142
00:07:51,062 --> 00:07:53,796
But there was another
reason for our success,
143
00:07:53,831 --> 00:07:55,397
as I was about to learn.
144
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,701
Son, your voice is finally
gravelly enough
145
00:07:58,736 --> 00:08:02,538
for you to learn what it takes
to survive in the sleep biz.
146
00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:04,206
Bedbugs?!
147
00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:06,642
These are Hungarian mattress gnashers.
148
00:08:06,677 --> 00:08:08,544
The only way to get rid of them
149
00:08:08,579 --> 00:08:11,613
is to walk away from your house
naked and start a new life.
150
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,619
Y-You're gonna sabotage our rivals?
151
00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:20,122
No, no, no, no, no, no. You are.
152
00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:23,659
You want to be a sandman,
a slumber jack, a yawn jockey?
153
00:08:23,694 --> 00:08:27,262
This is what it takes.
It's the Szyslak way.
154
00:08:39,877 --> 00:08:42,010
They were the competition, sure,
155
00:08:42,046 --> 00:08:43,746
but they were a family, too.
156
00:08:43,781 --> 00:08:46,148
I couldn't ruin them.
157
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:51,153
You should be proud.
You did a good deed.
158
00:08:51,188 --> 00:08:54,823
Yeah, well, that good deed
ruin't my life.
159
00:08:54,859 --> 00:08:57,292
That family I took pity on,
160
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,095
they doused our mattresses with bedbugs.
161
00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:02,865
The Szyslak empire was ruin't.
162
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,100
Soon, we were down
to just a few locations.
163
00:09:05,136 --> 00:09:07,703
My pops never said
how disappointed he was,
164
00:09:07,738 --> 00:09:09,738
but he let me know in his own way,
165
00:09:09,774 --> 00:09:11,740
by kicking me out and turning my room
166
00:09:11,776 --> 00:09:14,543
into a home gym he never used.
167
00:09:14,578 --> 00:09:17,179
My brother and sister took
my place in my father's heart.
168
00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:20,482
The only connection I had
with Pops was LinkedIn.
169
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,484
That's worse than nothing.
170
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,620
Why do you think your dad
reached around to you
171
00:09:24,655 --> 00:09:26,288
after all these years?
172
00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:28,857
I don't care. I don't care so much!
173
00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,726
Moe, you will never have peace
174
00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:32,828
until you make up with your father.
175
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,930
Honey, I need you to hear this:
176
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:39,234
sticking your nose in Moe's
horrible life will end badly.
177
00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:41,904
Homer, what's your favorite movie?
178
00:09:41,939 --> 00:09:43,405
Fast & Furious 6.
179
00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:45,340
And what's the theme of that movie?
180
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,742
Cars.
181
00:09:46,777 --> 00:09:48,377
What's the other theme?
182
00:09:48,412 --> 00:09:50,512
Family.
183
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,014
She's right, Moe.
184
00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,750
You got to give your cars
a second chance.
185
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,573
Is that your family's mattress store?
186
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,924
- No.
- Is that your family's mattress store?
187
00:10:01,959 --> 00:10:03,425
- No.
- Is that your family's mattress store?
188
00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:04,560
No!
189
00:10:04,595 --> 00:10:05,894
Geez, I never noticed
190
00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:07,863
how many mattress stores there are.
191
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:10,332
Yeah, you never do
till you're shopping for one.
192
00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,401
Then they're freakin' everywhere.
193
00:10:14,638 --> 00:10:17,773
That mattress looked perfectly
fine when it was delivered.
194
00:10:17,808 --> 00:10:20,709
It's not my fault you flipped it over!
195
00:10:20,744 --> 00:10:22,711
Mr. Szyslak, I've brought someone here
196
00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:25,080
who still cares for you.
197
00:10:25,115 --> 00:10:27,216
Um, hey there, Pops.
198
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:31,253
I'm, uh, I'm sorry about
shoe-slapping your face and all.
199
00:10:31,288 --> 00:10:34,022
Well, maybe I had it coming.
200
00:10:34,058 --> 00:10:35,624
You hittin' that?
201
00:10:35,659 --> 00:10:38,927
- Can I, uh, say I am?
- Mm-mm.
202
00:10:40,664 --> 00:10:43,131
That must be Moe's brother and sister.
203
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:46,768
They don't look ugly like Moe,
but I'm still feeling the ugly.
204
00:10:46,804 --> 00:10:50,539
Ugh. That one's eating
Chinese food with scissors.
205
00:10:54,144 --> 00:10:56,111
Hey, what's Ugly Do-Right doing here?
206
00:10:56,146 --> 00:10:57,913
He ain't no mattress man.
207
00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:01,884
I will never forgive you for
what you made Dad did to you.
208
00:11:01,919 --> 00:11:04,953
Oh, so we're doing the "what
I done made Dad did" thing?
209
00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:06,989
Because I can did this all day long!
210
00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:08,624
Shut up, you box springs!
211
00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:12,327
I'm the one what reached around
to this cesspool of disappointment.
212
00:11:12,363 --> 00:11:15,867
- You know, to make amends.
- Amends?!
213
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,499
- Amends?!
- Amends?!
214
00:11:17,535 --> 00:11:20,536
There's no reason
for this to come to shoes!
215
00:11:20,571 --> 00:11:23,005
I want you all to come to our house
216
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,840
for a family forgiveness dinner.
217
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:26,275
We'll be there.
218
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,076
Can I bring a bottle of something?
219
00:11:28,112 --> 00:11:29,745
That would be lovely.
220
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:32,014
You want oxy or Demerol?
221
00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:33,315
Okay, the brother here,
222
00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:35,317
the father there, Moe here...
223
00:11:35,352 --> 00:11:36,919
No. No good.
224
00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:38,921
You know, when this all ends horribly,
225
00:11:38,956 --> 00:11:41,924
it's gonna be pretty hard
not to say "I told you so."
226
00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:43,358
Just don't say it.
227
00:11:43,394 --> 00:11:45,460
You've never been married,
have you, Lisa?
228
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,195
When you love someone very much,
229
00:11:47,231 --> 00:11:50,032
the toughest thing
is not to rub their face
230
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,868
in their horrible screw-ups.
231
00:11:57,174 --> 00:12:00,642
So, okay, here's a fun game.
232
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,878
Everyone take turns
saying something nice
233
00:12:02,913 --> 00:12:05,380
about a person they're related to.
234
00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:08,684
I'll start. Lisa has lovely penmanship.
235
00:12:08,719 --> 00:12:10,819
Thank you, Mom.
236
00:12:10,854 --> 00:12:13,755
Me? Uh, well, it's...
237
00:12:13,791 --> 00:12:17,793
admirable how my stupid father
reached around to this traitor!
238
00:12:17,828 --> 00:12:19,795
I'm impressed that you better shut up
239
00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:21,663
and make nice with the traitor!
240
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:26,301
I like that Bart...
241
00:12:26,337 --> 00:12:30,572
uh... Bart is... he, uh...
242
00:12:30,608 --> 00:12:33,352
- Can I do two Lisas?
- Dinner fight!
243
00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,410
Yeah, whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do? Huh?
244
00:12:36,447 --> 00:12:38,347
Homer! Go to phase two.
245
00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:43,719
'Twas the sale before Christmas,
and all through the store!
246
00:12:43,754 --> 00:12:48,090
All the deals were amazing
on twin sets and more!
247
00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,560
Mattress night
248
00:12:51,595 --> 00:12:55,030
Low, low price
249
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,800
No payments due, but... ♪
250
00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,902
Am I the only one feeling all oniony
251
00:13:00,938 --> 00:13:02,904
about the way things used to be?
252
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:05,107
We were dressed as stinkin' reindeer,
253
00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:07,342
but we were really a stinkin' family.
254
00:13:07,378 --> 00:13:09,611
Oh, I miss you frigs.
255
00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:11,947
Aw...
256
00:13:11,982 --> 00:13:14,683
Marge, thank you for
reaching around to my family.
257
00:13:14,718 --> 00:13:17,519
I got something to tell all of youse.
258
00:13:17,554 --> 00:13:20,455
I'm retiring.
259
00:13:20,491 --> 00:13:23,892
Sleepy is the head
that wears the mattress crown.
260
00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:26,928
That's right, my springs have sprung.
261
00:13:26,964 --> 00:13:29,631
To my son, I give a store.
262
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,901
- To my daughter, I give a store.
- Aw.
263
00:13:32,936 --> 00:13:34,636
Well, good dinner, everyone.
264
00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:37,406
I'll see youse at the funeral
of whoever dies first.
265
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,075
And to my oldest son, I give a store.
266
00:13:41,245 --> 00:13:44,246
Wha...? I buried this dream so deep,
267
00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:47,683
no amount of self-harm
could ever carve it out.
268
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:51,753
Aw.
269
00:13:53,991 --> 00:13:56,992
Oh, the smell of foam off-gassing.
270
00:13:57,027 --> 00:14:00,362
When I cross this threshold,
I begin a new life!
271
00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:03,331
This is the first time
272
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,834
that I've ever been carried
into a store.
273
00:14:05,869 --> 00:14:08,336
Look at me now, Lady Foot Locker!
274
00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:09,871
Look at me now.
275
00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:15,730
Hey, everyone.
Hey, thanks for coming out.
276
00:14:15,765 --> 00:14:17,832
Uh, if anybody wants a glass of wine,
277
00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:19,767
they're on the memory foam.
278
00:14:19,802 --> 00:14:23,004
Oh! Hot dang. My goodness.
279
00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:25,306
Okay, okay, all right,
shut your, shut your faces.
280
00:14:25,341 --> 00:14:28,743
Uh, the commercial that me and
my brother and sister all made
281
00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:30,778
is about to air now.
282
00:14:30,813 --> 00:14:32,513
I cannot tell a lie.
283
00:14:32,548 --> 00:14:35,116
It's good to be back
in the mattress biz.
284
00:14:35,151 --> 00:14:37,985
Sleep softly and carry a big discount!
285
00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:40,588
And now we're freeing the savings!
286
00:14:40,623 --> 00:14:44,291
So rush-more to Mattress King
Slumber Super Stores,
287
00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:48,062
as we all welcome our big
brother Moe back to the family!
288
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:49,997
And remember,
289
00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:51,432
at Moe's location,
290
00:14:51,467 --> 00:14:54,669
every mattress had someone die on it.
291
00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:59,240
Dead-o's on my mattresses?
292
00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:01,676
Hey, hey, somebody messed
with our commercial.
293
00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:04,011
Who died on Moe's mattresses?
294
00:15:04,047 --> 00:15:06,013
Shut-ins. Fat people.
295
00:15:06,049 --> 00:15:09,183
And inmates! Inmates! Inmates!
296
00:15:09,218 --> 00:15:10,885
No, no, it's all lies! Come back!
297
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,520
My mattresses are brand-new!
298
00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:14,522
Made in the finest Filipino sweatshops
299
00:15:14,557 --> 00:15:16,857
by the cutest kids you ever saw!
300
00:15:16,893 --> 00:15:18,959
That's a gross a-mattress!
301
00:15:18,995 --> 00:15:22,363
They betrayed me.
Stabbed me right in the hump.
302
00:15:22,398 --> 00:15:23,964
Sorry, big brother.
303
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,934
We saw an opportunity to knock
you out of the family business,
304
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,335
and we took it.
305
00:15:28,371 --> 00:15:30,004
It's the Szyslak way.
306
00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,308
But I-I brought them together.
307
00:15:34,343 --> 00:15:36,310
How could things end so badly?
308
00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:38,179
Don't say "I told you so."
309
00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:39,680
Don't say "I told you so."
Don't say "I told you so."
310
00:15:39,716 --> 00:15:41,982
Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved.
311
00:15:42,018 --> 00:15:44,318
Don't say "I told you so."
Don't say "I told you so."
312
00:15:44,353 --> 00:15:45,986
Why didn't somebody warn me?
313
00:15:46,022 --> 00:15:47,822
Don't say "I told you so."
314
00:15:47,857 --> 00:15:50,291
I told...
315
00:15:58,735 --> 00:16:01,535
When my pop finds out
I got played for a chump, huh,
316
00:16:01,571 --> 00:16:04,705
he'll wish he never reached
around to me in the first place.
317
00:16:04,741 --> 00:16:06,674
Moe, I'm so sorry.
318
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:09,009
For the first time,
I'm going to offer you
319
00:16:09,045 --> 00:16:10,945
platonic physical comfort.
320
00:16:14,317 --> 00:16:16,617
I just can't go through with it.
321
00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:19,153
Aw, it's all right.
You got closer than most.
322
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:21,822
But I have to believe it's not too late
323
00:16:21,858 --> 00:16:24,892
to reach around and fix things
with your family.
324
00:16:24,927 --> 00:16:27,828
No, no, no.
I tried things the Marge way.
325
00:16:27,864 --> 00:16:31,098
Now I'm gonna do this the Szyslak way.
326
00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:32,867
No. No!
327
00:16:32,902 --> 00:16:35,102
That's right, me and my family,
328
00:16:35,138 --> 00:16:37,605
we're going to the mattresses, baby!
329
00:16:39,342 --> 00:16:41,509
I better go with him.
330
00:16:41,544 --> 00:16:43,744
To make sure I see it.
331
00:17:15,645 --> 00:17:17,611
Oh, my God. What happened?
332
00:17:17,647 --> 00:17:19,947
We cut 'em up good.
333
00:17:19,982 --> 00:17:22,416
They ain't so pretty no more!
334
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:23,472
_
335
00:17:23,497 --> 00:17:27,421
All this was just revenge appetizers!
336
00:17:27,456 --> 00:17:29,924
Tonight is the main course.
337
00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:32,359
And I'm serving it up family style.
338
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,730
There's only one man who can stop this.
339
00:17:39,135 --> 00:17:42,102
Sir, this shirt depicts
an octopus sportfishing
340
00:17:42,138 --> 00:17:43,938
and drinking a mai tai.
341
00:17:43,973 --> 00:17:47,441
It's the bestseller in our
Retired Blowhard collection.
342
00:17:47,476 --> 00:17:48,742
Oh, yeah.
343
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:51,812
I can see myself watching golf in this.
344
00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:54,481
Mr. Szyslak Sr.,
you've got to do something!
345
00:17:54,517 --> 00:17:57,284
Your children are
tearing each other apart!
346
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,486
No, no. I'm retired now.
347
00:17:59,522 --> 00:18:01,822
Let them work out
their own little tiffs.
348
00:18:01,858 --> 00:18:04,091
Does this look like a tiff?
349
00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:06,216
_
350
00:18:06,262 --> 00:18:07,895
Free mattresses?!
351
00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:10,564
The time for leisure wear is over.
352
00:18:13,436 --> 00:18:15,402
Mahalo, sir.
353
00:18:15,438 --> 00:18:18,239
Moe's in there, and I've never
seen him this angry before,
354
00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:21,675
not even when he lost
that angriest man contest.
355
00:18:21,711 --> 00:18:23,677
He's crazy! He's gonna do it!
356
00:18:23,713 --> 00:18:25,713
He's really gonna do it!
357
00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:29,083
I'm up here, Pops.
358
00:18:29,118 --> 00:18:31,552
I'm playing with
my little brother and sister.
359
00:18:31,587 --> 00:18:33,254
Just like old times.
360
00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:40,394
Hungarian mattress gnashers!
361
00:18:40,429 --> 00:18:45,266
If he releases those bugs,
all our mattresses are ruined!
362
00:18:45,301 --> 00:18:50,104
Not mine. My mattresses
are safe and sound.
363
00:18:52,308 --> 00:18:54,708
All my enemies... gnashed!
364
00:18:54,744 --> 00:18:57,011
It's the Szyslak way!
365
00:18:57,046 --> 00:18:59,513
Morty! Do something!
366
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:07,087
Do it! Smash that jar!
367
00:19:07,123 --> 00:19:09,523
Take what's rightfully yours!
368
00:19:09,558 --> 00:19:12,192
- Wait, what?
- You wanted him to dooze this?
369
00:19:12,228 --> 00:19:14,628
He's finally man enough
to finish the job,
370
00:19:14,664 --> 00:19:17,097
just like he should've
all those years ago.
371
00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:18,599
Do it, son!
372
00:19:18,634 --> 00:19:20,567
Everything will be yours!
373
00:19:20,603 --> 00:19:22,870
Do it for your king!
374
00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:25,606
Do it for your king.
375
00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,626
I can't do it.
376
00:19:45,661 --> 00:19:47,061
Wha...?!
377
00:19:47,096 --> 00:19:48,395
Sorry, Pops.
378
00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:51,198
I guess I'll never live the Szyslak way.
379
00:19:52,468 --> 00:19:55,336
Oh, Moe, you're a good man.
380
00:19:55,371 --> 00:19:58,806
And these soulless mattress
jackals don't deserve you.
381
00:19:58,841 --> 00:20:00,808
I never thought I'd say this,
382
00:20:00,843 --> 00:20:04,545
but some families
just don't belong together.
383
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:07,047
Yeah, yeah, I'll kill ya!
384
00:20:08,684 --> 00:20:11,018
Ph-Physical contact.
385
00:20:12,993 --> 00:20:15,580
_
386
00:20:27,803 --> 00:20:31,205
I told you so!
387
00:20:42,745 --> 00:20:44,945
Hey, this is Moe S.
from the Mattress King.
388
00:20:44,980 --> 00:20:47,681
Give me a call at 555-0146.
389
00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:49,449
For a limited time only,
390
00:20:49,485 --> 00:20:52,753
the Mattress King's got
queen mattress sets for $99
391
00:20:52,788 --> 00:20:55,222
and king sets for $129.
392
00:20:57,126 --> 00:20:58,959
Ooh! Are you okay?
393
00:20:58,994 --> 00:21:02,029
Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
394
00:21:02,064 --> 00:21:03,864
That's what I was afraid was gonna...
395
00:21:03,899 --> 00:21:05,532
that's what I was
afraid was gonna happen
396
00:21:05,567 --> 00:21:07,434
- with that damn thing.
- You all right?
397
00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:08,935
- Oh, I'm fine.
- You sure?
398
00:21:08,971 --> 00:21:10,937
Messed up my guitar, though.
No, I'm fine.
399
00:21:10,973 --> 00:21:12,439
- You sure you're, uh...
- No, I'm fine.
400
00:21:12,474 --> 00:21:13,774
Try your arm and stuff.
401
00:21:13,809 --> 00:21:15,475
- He's wearing leather.
- Oh, okay.
402
00:21:15,511 --> 00:21:17,344
- Did you get it on film?
- Yeah.
403
00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:19,312
All right. All right!
404
00:21:19,337 --> 00:21:24,337
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