All language subtitles for The.Durrells.S03E04.720p.HDTV.x264-ORGANiC

That's good is it, the drinking?

Mmm. As long as it
doesn't run away with you.

It's been a bumpy month or two.

Sunshine in a glass.

Oh, hello darlings.

I've just sat down. Good day at work?

I X-rayed a woman who had a
fur-ball stuck in her oesophagus.

We think she's been licking her cat.

Yeah and I can't talk about
my work, it's confidential.

- Thank goodness.
- Except to say that...

Here we go.

There's one less shoplifter
called Alexis Spiliotopoulos.

Oh, I'm proud of you darling.

Just don't do anything
brave, please, ever.

Oh telegram from Larry from
Athens. Postman gave me it.

"Athens is fulgent."

"Met Indian Prince JeeJeebuoy."

- "He arrives tomorrow, short stay."
- We've a prince coming to stay?!

I hope his immigration
papers are in order.

A tiara does not
constitute a valid passport.

But royalty! Maybe he'll
come on an elephant.

We're not making any concessions
just because he's a, a silly prince.

But no harm in a quick spring clean.

Oh, yes good. You three
can start on the garden.

- Ooh, please check Roger for fleas.
- I'm studying.

Thank you. I'm so pleased, finally.

We're immune. Don't want to
give minor royalty a rash.

There we are.

Typical of Larry to dump someone on us.

- We did live in India after all.
- Well, I'm going to work.

Leslie was born in India,
Lugaretzia, in the Punjab.

You are Indian?

Well, not really, but it's all
fluid, isn't it, these days.

We're here, Margo's boyfriend is Turkish,

and Leslie's having a
baby with a Greek girl.

Do try to get to know Daphne better,

especially now that you've got a
responsible job you can be proud of.

I've tried, but her family are so
angry with me for not marrying her.

I can't do any more.

Good morning, officer. Don't
you dare kick my wheels.

'Policed' to meet you!

Mrs Durrell, Margo says you
have a maharaja coming to stay.

Yes, Larry's started
picking up exotic friends.

- Why stop at exotic animals?
- I come bearing shrimps.

Perfect! I can make shrimp mango
pulao for Prince JeeJeebuoy.

No, they're for Gerry's flamingos.

Shall I get you Champagne
for your special visitor?

No, no, no! He will
live like the rest of us.

Actually, Larry might like some.

So yes, thank you. Do pick up a crate.

Die, you old bastard.

Hardest bed ever.

All gone wrong...

Captain Creech?

Captain Creech!

Yes. Only just.

- Can I help you up?
- What's the point?

Perhaps I could find you a
nicer gutter, with a view?

We will feed one shrimps, the other not,

to see if it affects their colour.

Are there many animals whose
colour changes with what they eat?

Yes. Salmon. Goldfinches.
Also from carotenoids.

You know, she's stopped
fretting about my education

now I take my books with me everywhere.

What's really in there, dormice? A weasel?

So, how do you end up here?

Oh... Chasing a popsy.

Mellifluous arse.

Bosoms lagging far behind,
perfectly acceptable.

Aren't you a bit old for that?

It turns out I am.

So many luscious beauties have
slipped through my fingers.

How is your mother?

Fidgety at the prospect
of grandmother-hood,

otherwise rather well.

I'm at rock bottom. I don't
have a pot to piss in.

Although out the window
works just as well, I find.

I hate to sound like a bank manager,
but, haven't you any savings put by?

I, I have my boat in Corfu...

.. and what I stand up in.

I tried to kill myself, you know.

I couldn't.

That's ironic. I imagine many people
have wanted to kill you over the years!

Relax!

He'll probably be one of those
modern royals who love normality.

It's not normal here. There's a zoo.

Lugaretzia will call him something awful,

and he'll be expecting a lavatory
that isn't open to the elements.

- Are you all right?
- Yes, of course I am.

Gerry! He's just drawn animals
and written daft stories.

What do you expect, Latin declensiables?

That's not right, is it.

"The huge hairy animal mad a
bow", he spells like a half-wit,

"Hooly mackrel, a gray baboon,
my farverit, he sayed."

Gerry, you solemnly promised
that you were studying.

There is no actual work here.

- Certain is not spelt S-U-R-T-E-N.
- It should be though, shouldn't it?

It's not good enough! You
need the structure of a school.

Where you can make friends
with people your own age.

I am not going to a horrible English
boarding school that smells of fear and sick.

No, of course you're not.
I'll find you a school here.

Royalty, coming up the garden path!

Hello. You must be Mrs Durrell.

Such charm.

Leslie, the hunter.

Margo, the beauty of the island.

Naturalist par excellence, Gerry.

And Lugaretiza.

The cleaner!

Thank you for letting me stay. It
makes me very hot to see you all.

We're honoured to welcome you.

We've had to scrub the house.

The animals have left a
lot of worrying stains.

May I offer you a welcoming glass
of Champagne, Your Highness?

No! Oh no!

- Have you forgotten something?
- Your elephant?

No, it's my foolish name.

My mother named me Prince,

her attempt to make our
humble family sound royal.

- Oh.
- That is brilliant!

I'm gonna name my son King. If
I'm allowed a say in the name.

- So what do we call you?
- My friends call me JeeJee.

Shall I give back the
rest of the Champagne?

No.

Mrs Durrell, I'll try to make amends
by being a most entertaining guest.

The tiger padded into the room.

He froze hoping that if he attacked
anybody it would be Major Ponsonby,

whom nobody liked, but
it turned towards me.

I vowed that if I escaped,

I would live as if each day were my last.

Why is he such a joy?

He loves life, and he's
on the side of the angels.

Gerry, you have a beautiful future.

You understand that animals are
our simpler, better selves.

They teach us so much,

from how to sit quietly, to how
to eat a fruit with elegance.

I don't think Mother agrees with you.

That's not fair. I've given you
freedom most boys only dream about.

So why take it away now?

It's a school, not a house of correction.

What's the difference?

The age-old dichotomy
between formal education

and learning from what my
mother calls 'fannying about'.

Yes, none of my children liked school.

Leslie took his uniform
into the garden and shot it.

You've created a special family.

Yes, I have, haven't I?

Thank you.

I'm remembering how lovely
it can be to have guests.

- JEEJEE!
- Larry!

Thank you! I love your family!

No, these aren't mine. You've
come to the wrong house.

Humour as a deflective modesty reflex!

Yes! Yes!

How was Athens?

Full of good things.

I loved the old ruins so
much, I bought one back.

- He's homeless and destitute.
- Yes, of course he is!

He's a drunken old lech.
Nobody wants him in their house.

- I found him at death's door.
- Shall I bury him in the quarry?

No.

Oh! Nice to be talked about.

Or are you discussing
how to get rid of me?

- That's one of the choices.
- Tell Mother about karma.

Rebuff him, and it may come back
to bite you in the afterlife.

It's rather full here, but
you can stay for a day or two.

You'll have to have Gerry's room,

With the bugs and the rotting stuffed bat.

Ah! Is that a barely crested grebe?

By then, the water was up to my arsehole,

a soothing balm for my dysentery,

but bad news in the middle
of cocking Baffin Bay.

Talk about a grim Northwest Passage 'ey!

I fear these need a scrub, my dear.

English today. I must practise.
I do not like to arrest people.

- Are you in the right job?
- No!

But being a baker turned me into a whale.

- Come on, trot along!
- No!

Daphne...

- I want us to be friends.
- How could we? You are abandoning me.

I'm not.

So marry me, then the baby
can have a respectable life.

But that's not fair.

Daphne...

Mrs Durrell! Nothing medical, I hope?

I'm very well. Although less so now
Captain Creech is staying with us.

Well this will cheer you up. Look.

We had a quiet day at work so we
X-rayed a rabbit wearing glasses.

Can I ask your advice about Gerry?
I want to find him a local school.

- Oh. - And this is a
fish with an earring.

Let's try to look like professionals.

As you know, Gerry hated
school in England,

so I need somewhere that's
welcoming, but not too lax.

- And sporty, because his interests
are a bit narrow. - Mrs Durrell...

He loves writing so a school
with a creative ethos would be...

There's only one school he can go to.

- Oh.
- The nearest one.

You'll both have to be
interviewed by the headmistress,

who will test Gerry's Greek.

Ah. I love having him round the house.

- But, school's a good idea, isn't it?
- Why not? He's fiercely intelligent.

Anywhere would be lucky to have him.

Let's leave it. If they're not
sleeping, they're shouting.

You can't just leave it.

Nope.

Mrs Petridis, have you mislaid a baby?

Thank you! I put him in the shade
but I couldn't remember where.

At least he didn't roll
down a hill this time.

- I won't charge you with neglect
on this occasion. - Thank you.

I am restored! Ha!

Good. Well, do try to stay
on the straight and narrow.

Well, I will, if you will.

We er, both have er, bent for er,

liquid indulgence.

Oh, I think she's an
amateur compared to you.

So, who will buy my boat?

I've never seen the appeal.

Water. Wind. Seagulls. Chunky knitwear.

Oh, don't listen. Les and I
are dying to do some sailing.

Oh!

Oh! I like you more and more my boy.

There! Twenty pounds.

Go on! Arrest me. I'm robbing myself.

It's not even worth 20 bob!

- If you knew anything about boats...
- I do! I do!

.. you would appreciate
her solid qualities.

I love it. You suddenly
realise you can go anywhere.

- What a fine fella you are.
- And this boat's like...

Well, it's like you, Creech,
barnacled, leaking...

Yes I, I do do that.

.. but heroically holding onto existence.

- I'll buy it. - What?! - Hooray!

- You don't know how to sail!
- What an opportunity to start.

- The Captain will teach me.
- Will I? Bollocks.

Cheer up.

My brother, having waltzed at the
ball with an eminent European lady,

led her back to her seat,
took her fan and said,

"Madam, may I make wind in your face?"

India enchanted us.

That's why it was hard to
settle down in Bournemouth,

too many memories of warm
nights and fireflies and music,

and your father coming home
late from building bridges

to find you all in bed, fighting sleep,
so you could tell him about your day.

- Applause for the chef!
- Well done, Mummy!

The curry was just
missing some Bombay duck.

- You can't get it on Corfu.
- Use a local duck.

It's not duck. It's dried lizardfish.

- I'll find a substitute.
- What are your plans after us?

I'm en route to Persia to visit
a famous holy man, a fakir.

To prepare, after this meal, I'll fast for
four days to aid meditation into a trance.

I'll fast too. I'm intensely spiritual.

I can't fast. I'm too busy righting
wrongs out there on the streets.

Creech! I thought it was quiet.

Yes, I've just been er,
snoozing off the boozing.

Forgive me, Mrs Durrell, but
I think you drink too much.

The body is a precision instrument.

To take alcohol is like pouring
treacle into an expensive piano.

Oh, nonsense! Leave the gal alone.

Do you think it's easy trying
to run a ship, erm, house?

Thank you.

And now...

Oh right, let's have a sing-song.
I'll start off and you join in.

What?

♪ Oh Mary she's a sailor's
lass To me hooker John o John

♪ We courted all night on the
grass To me Hooker John o John!

♪ Oh Susanna, woa-hoa, way up
high Johnny's on the foreyard...

Have you noticed?

It's like Mother's Good
Angel and her Bad Angel.

Wonder who's going to win.

He's so skinny, he'll blow into the sea,
especially after two days of fasting.

I wonder if it's making
him less judgemental.

It's making him beautifully calm.

I wonder why it's not
doing the same to Margo?

What are you staring at?!

Don't kill each other, and
stay away from Albania.

Watch and learn from me at first.

Watch and learn from me at first.

I was hungry in the night and
I er, ate one of the locusts.

Don't tell the boy.

- No, first pull on the vang.
- What's the vang?

It's on the end of the gaff. I
TOLD you what everything is.

You were too busy posing in your blouse!

I will arrest you if you
touch that rope again!

This is MY boat, so can you
stop, for one second...

... being a policeman?

No, fine, no, no fine.

- I'll leave you to it, shall I?
- I would adore that.

Yeah.

I don't think you'll find
any lizard fish here,

for your Bombay duck thing.

I'll dry whatever I catch.

Let's talk about school.

I'm going to test you on your Greek.
You must impress your Headmistress.

Or your mother will be broken into two.

- Greek for 'school'?
- Skoolopolos?

- So close!
- Really?

No.

Greek for 'mathematics'?

- Mathonopolous.
- Almost there!

- Was I?
- No.

Darling! Please eat something.
Fasting doesn't agree with you.

No, it's spiritually cleansing.

Well, you did eat five
biscuits and lunch yesterday.

This is harder than childbirth.

Right!

Uh! Mmm-mmm! No!

Lugaretzia.

Oh, hello.

Fish... for drying!

You don't like him no more?

I do, but I don't like being
told off in front of my family.

What's going on down there?

It looks illegal.

Never mind, live and let live.

Isn't that Daphne's father?

- Herete, Mr Lykourgo.
- Leslie.

Well, Junior Constable
Durrell, strictly speaking.

Yassas.

JEEJEE! MARGO!

Oh! No wonder he fainted,
it smells hideous.

No, it's the fasting.

He's too thin!

I'm cooking you a very big lunch.

I'm sure enlightenment is also
possible on a full stomach.

- Please tell me to shut up but
- Shut up.

Thank you, JeeJee, but I am old
enough to make up my own mind.

Of course you are.

Now, finish that, er, fizzy
tosh, and move on to this.

- Oh, I'm fine thank you.
- They say it goes with this.

- If you're a girlie.
- Oh.

- Leslie!
- Hi, JeeJee.

There's a stink in the garden.

Yes, JeeJee's drying
sardines to make Bombay Duck.

Mummy, can I...?

Why are you taking me over here, darling?

I found out that Daphne's father
is involved in smuggling cigarettes.

- Oh no! - I don't know
whether to report him.

- Wha, what happens if you don't?
- If I'm caught, I'll lose my job.

Oh, darling... Come and eat.

Now, try that.

Are you OK, Miss Margo?

I was fasting and then I ate a whole pie.

And that's another
reason why I love it here.

Travellers pass through,
you, my Swedish friend Sven,

and Hugh, of course, or Huge,
depending on who you talk to!

Although there was something missing.
Oh, and recently in London...

- Spiro.
- Hello, JeeJees.

- Mrs Durrells, your car awaits.
- Oh! Where are we going?

I do love surprises!

I'm taking you and Gerrys to meet
the Headmistress of the school.

Oh, I forgot! I'm an idiot.

I would advise you to postpone
the encounter, Mrs Durrell.

- Or shall we just get
it over with? - Yes.

It's vital he gets a
bloody good education.

I think the bad angel is winning.

Ah...

Albania!

No, let's not go that way.

Bugger!

It's all Greek to me.

Ooh!

Oh, I do apologise.

You know I think, don't you,

that a school is, is like a greenhouse.

- Carry on. - Do you want
to get some air, Mother?

No, no, darling. There's
plenty of that in here.

My mother has a lot of
guests at the moment,

and they can be quite a handful,
late nights, that kind of thing.

My fakir Andrawathi is an amazing man.

He was once buried alive for 120 days.

- Oh, how awful!
- No, it was deliberate.

- Oh.
- He was in a trance.

- I've experienced it myself.
- Is it magical?

It is. You feel you're floating.

- Indeed, real levitation
does occur. - Wow!

It is a paradox that most of us love the
world, but wish somehow to escape its bounds.

- Like Mother's drinking.
- Indeed. I fear I've offended her.

It is after all, another form of trance.

I wonder if she's come out of it yet.

Would I be able to bring my dog Roger in?

- No.
- Really?

He's now fully free of fleas.

That's not easy to say!

- I'm afraid you will not be
coming to this school. - What? Why?

It is not your son's fault,

though his Greek is limited,

it is yours.

Oh, hello dear.

Please, Daphne. May I talk to you?

Yes.

I don't know if your father said
anything, about this morning?

He did.

I'm not going to tell anyone.

Thank you.

I won't tell anyone, even
if it costs me my job,

because whether you like it
or not, we WILL be family.

It's me who wants us to be a real family.

We need to be in love for that.

Bloody teachers!

- Always judging everyone.
- I know. Outrageous.

Creech is right, the finger-waggers
will always be with us.

A woman can't have a
drink now, is that it?

JeeJee's... You need to
come. He's in a trance.

Gerry, run upstairs and try to grab him.

Margo, bring cushions.

That doesn't look very safe.

Why don't you and I...?

JeeJee! Oh, God!

Speak to me!

Please!

There we go.

Let's both try to be more normal.

- Did the pelican get you?
- No, he fell onto the pergola.

- I'm going to try it again.
- Please don't.

Has anyone seen Larry?

Not since I left him on his
boat, which he can't sail.

He was SO annoying I just left him there.

Hello, Albanians.

I am British.

But think of me above all,

as a Friend Of Albania.

It's bloody easy when you know
how, isn't it, this sailing?

Bloody easy!

Bloody. Easy.

Hello!

I'm back. Oh!

Sorry, you must have been really worried.

Yes, yes. Don't do that again.

I drifted, but I was in safe hands.
Albanians are fantastic people.

Good, let's send Gerry to school there.

He didn't get in? Why?

Did he bang on about bugs or
otter crap till she snapped?

No, I ruined it, by turning up drunk.

- Come on, that is quite funny.
- No, it's not!

I keep messing up Gerry's education
and I've been drinking like a fish

since Auntie died and Leslie made a
baby nobody wants, poor little mite.

Exactly, that's why you're
drinking, to numb the pain.

You're a fine mother,

and a generous host to
whomever I throw at you.

No more guests, please, unless
they're like JeeJeebuoy.

He's sweetened our lives so much,

unlike our sailor friend.

I can't for a moment imagine why
I listened to Creech over him?

That was stupid.

- Well, I've given up alcohol, again.
- I haven't. I need one right now.

I was scared back there.

We're heading for war in Europe, and I panic at
the sight of some delightful Albanian fishermen.

That's not me that stinks of fish, is it?

I think it must be, darling.

We are ready to record the results.

It's a black and white photograph,
of course, but we'll get the idea.

When you feel the urge to have a tipple,

adopt this meditative position.

Now, think of a word to say over and over.

Something simple.

Grandmother.

- Grand
- Don't... say it out loud.

Possibly a word with fewer syllables.

How about 'fish'?

Try something unrelated
to what's on your mind.

I was unfair, Gerry.

- You're a lovely writer.
- Thank you.

Larry writes to dazzle.

You write to entertain, and your
spelling makes me laugh out loud.

This is my scientific report,

to show I'm doing fine without school.

Oh, well thank you. I shall
read it with interest.

I'm so sorry for yesterday.

I can't promise I'll never
embarrass you again,

but I won't do it for a while!

~

- The sardines smell dead.
- I know, and Zoltan's coming.

He vomits at the drop of a hat.

Close your eyes and
make your chin go floppy.

Chin is floppy.

You do it.

You would benefit from meditation,
because you have a stressful job.

Oh! I have. Don't even get me started.

- Quick, quick.
- Wait, Margo, please!

Ignore us, Daphne, we're
just burying some fish.

Quick!

- Hello, Daphne.
- Hello.

Thank you, Leslie.

Hello, Sir. Welcome to the family.

And welcome to mine. I'm not
perfect, but my daughter is.

Please...

- Tea for our guests.
- Thank you, Lugaretzia.

Oh! Hello!

Hello. Larry?

Larry... Albania!

Champagne?

No, mother's ruin.

No! Kill it! Make a handbag.

I've changed my mind.

I love having guests. What
are we humans for otherwise?

Trains moving forward on
tracks that never touch.

Mrs Durrells, I was worried about you.

Thank you.

- I'm fine now.
- I blame myself for buying the bubbly.

Well, it's all gone now.

And to be honest, I had a
back-up vat of cooking sherry.

Er...

Well, er tragically, dear
lady, I, I, I must depart.

- Hmm.
- You er, saved my life.

Well, that was rather gracious. Thank you.

Anyway, it won't be so much fun round here

now the loopy Indian's buggering off 'ey?

I knew it couldn't last.

As they say at sea, "One should always
leave, before they count the cutlery."

And I'm very pleased to tell you,

that I've FINALLY beaten the demon drink.

Gosh! How?

Well I, I watched you pour it
down your neck all this week

and realised frankly,
it's all a bit, unsavoury.

Not really the kind of thing
I like to see in a lady.

Shall I strike him?

There's a line of people ahead of you.

- Shall we say goodbye, Captain?
- Rather inhospitable.

Got any, er, tucker for the journey?

No, no, no.

I didn't see much of you JeeJee,
but I hear you went down a storm.

I fear I lost credibility when I
became lodged in your greenery!

We thought that was your finest
hour. Oh, Prince, it's been a joy.

And if ever you want to be the fifth
Durrell child, don't hesitate.

I'm still amazed that seagulls
managed to eat all my dried fish.

- Shocking(!)
- ~

Good luck with your fakir. Send
us a photograph of you levitating.

Daphne agrees we should
call our baby King.

- No, I don't.
- Or Count, or Doctor.

Please all visit me in India! Gerry,
I'm sure I can rustle up a tiger.

Bye.

Well, that's two guests gone,

now there's just your 54
unwanted animals to go.

Always funny.

But in fact, there are a
couple whose work is done.

So... room for some more now.

It's been so quiet since our guests left.

Mmm, don't worry, I've
got a batch coming over.

"Greetings.

From the bottom of my heart
via a friend in Colombia,

to my kind hosts. JeeJee."

Oh.

That is the weirdest monkey!

Have I been drinking again,
or does it look like that?

It's a sloth.

Gosh!

We hear you need more fireman.

- You fail!
- Are you trying to kill me?

I'm Guido Ferrari.
Clara, Yolata and Paulo.

They're so delightful!

You'll end up with Daddy.
There's always love interest.

- ~
- ~

Theo, I want to spend time alone
with Galini without you there.

Did you know vultures have
intensely corrosive stomach acid?

We're starting to wonder
about the Ferrari family.

What are you doing, man?!

Arrivederci!