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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,297 --> 00:00:04,250 - (camera shutter clicks) - This one I call "the writer's journey." 2 00:00:05,141 --> 00:00:07,209 - Stuck between two thoughts. - Mm-hmm. 3 00:00:07,277 --> 00:00:09,111 Lifelike. Wow. 4 00:00:09,178 --> 00:00:10,546 - What the...? - I'm sorry about that. 5 00:00:10,613 --> 00:00:13,215 - Cooper's my social media director. - Open your mouth. 6 00:00:13,283 --> 00:00:15,884 - You're the boss. - COOPER: Nice. 7 00:00:15,952 --> 00:00:19,087 - What magazine is this again? - Teen BeTween the Lines. 8 00:00:19,155 --> 00:00:20,255 - Ma'am, you're in the shot. - Ma'am, you're in the shot. 9 00:00:20,323 --> 00:00:22,291 - Oh, I'm... Okay. - Still in the shot. 10 00:00:22,358 --> 00:00:24,126 - You're in the shot. In the shot. - So... Oh. 11 00:00:24,193 --> 00:00:26,762 - Really? I guess this is on me. - Good. 12 00:00:26,829 --> 00:00:29,064 - I could've gone left or right. - NICK: Guys, let's take five. 13 00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:32,601 Or as Pepperwood would always say, "Keep your knife dry." 14 00:00:32,669 --> 00:00:35,070 - #KeepYourKnife... - (chuckles) Half that. 15 00:00:35,138 --> 00:00:37,306 - #KeepTheKnifeDry. - Hashtag. 16 00:00:37,373 --> 00:00:39,408 Oof. I've got to go meet with my editor. 17 00:00:39,475 --> 00:00:41,276 We're gonna talk about the latest Pepperwood. 18 00:00:41,344 --> 00:00:43,912 Oh, the one you wrote in Europe? He's gonna love it. (chuckles) 19 00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:45,747 Way more than the last book he published, 20 00:00:45,815 --> 00:00:47,916 Dede, the Girl with A.D.D. 21 00:00:47,984 --> 00:00:49,952 That wouldn't even keep my attention. 22 00:00:50,019 --> 00:00:52,254 - Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo. Burn. - (laughs) Burn. 23 00:00:52,322 --> 00:00:54,590 You got a lot of edge this morning, sister. 24 00:00:54,657 --> 00:00:56,325 Damn right I do. I'm a working girl now. 25 00:00:56,392 --> 00:00:57,926 Russell and I are building libraries. 26 00:00:57,994 --> 00:00:59,595 He's got me rolling up my sleeves 27 00:00:59,662 --> 00:01:01,163 to make it happen. (chuckles) 28 00:01:01,230 --> 00:01:03,265 Hi, this is Jessica Day from the Schiller Fund. 29 00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:06,101 I'm just calling to make sure this is still the number 30 00:01:06,169 --> 00:01:08,136 for a Mr. Marvin Linklever. 31 00:01:08,204 --> 00:01:09,638 It is? I'll put a check by your name. 32 00:01:09,706 --> 00:01:10,672 When you're done with the "L" s, 33 00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:12,274 this is the first batch of "M" s. 34 00:01:12,342 --> 00:01:14,476 Sounds like a lot of busywork. You cool with that? 35 00:01:14,544 --> 00:01:17,221 - I'm leaning toward no. - (camera shutter clicking) 36 00:01:17,268 --> 00:01:19,288 I'm listening. 37 00:01:19,349 --> 00:01:22,284 But at least I have time to have lunch with my girl Cece. 38 00:01:22,352 --> 00:01:24,353 We're celebrating me getting this... 39 00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:26,455 - glamorous new job. - WINSTON: Oh, hell yeah. (whoops) 40 00:01:26,522 --> 00:01:28,190 Hey, what's up, guys? What are you doing here? 41 00:01:28,257 --> 00:01:29,658 Check this out. Look what I found. 42 00:01:29,726 --> 00:01:31,360 Three Men and a Little Box Set. 43 00:01:31,427 --> 00:01:33,128 The lady and the baby. 44 00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:34,830 - I got to watch this. - JESS: Winston. 45 00:01:34,897 --> 00:01:36,498 - Hmm? - How long have you been here? 46 00:01:36,566 --> 00:01:38,300 Not long, like, three, four, five hours. 47 00:01:38,368 --> 00:01:40,132 - Something like that. - You don't live here, man. 48 00:01:40,179 --> 00:01:41,296 I'm doing a slow move. 49 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,938 - (phone ringing) - Oh. Mm. Duty calls. 50 00:01:42,939 --> 00:01:45,307 (chuckles) It's Russell. My boss. 51 00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:48,977 Hey, Russell, what's up? What you got? Oh, big meeting today. 52 00:01:49,045 --> 00:01:51,380 Yeah, I'll, um... I'll get some parking cones. 53 00:01:51,447 --> 00:01:52,881 - Ma'am, you're in the shot. - I am? 54 00:01:52,949 --> 00:01:54,316 Yeah, still in the shot. Still. Still. 55 00:01:54,384 --> 00:01:56,184 In the shot, in the shot, in the shot, in the shot, 56 00:01:56,252 --> 00:01:57,586 - in the shot... - Hold on, Russell, 57 00:01:57,654 --> 00:01:58,987 I just have to crawl out of my apartment. 58 00:01:59,055 --> 00:02:00,656 In the shot, in the shot, in the shot, 59 00:02:00,723 --> 00:02:02,190 in the shot, in the shot, in the shot, in the shot, 60 00:02:02,258 --> 00:02:03,525 in the shot, in the shot, in the shot, in the... 61 00:02:03,593 --> 00:02:06,739 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 62 00:02:06,817 --> 00:02:08,363 Cece, I was up all night 63 00:02:08,431 --> 00:02:10,432 trying to put Ruth to sleep. I'm losing my mind. 64 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:13,101 I feel like I'm in the third act of a Darren Aronofsky film. 65 00:02:13,169 --> 00:02:16,238 - Cheers, Daddy! - Yeah, tell me about it. I'm wiped, too. 66 00:02:16,305 --> 00:02:18,640 I think I put on your underwear this morning. 67 00:02:18,708 --> 00:02:20,475 If I'm being totally honest, I wore your underpants once 68 00:02:20,543 --> 00:02:21,710 to a yoga class. 69 00:02:21,754 --> 00:02:23,421 Ruth, do you want to go to sleep? 70 00:02:23,446 --> 00:02:24,481 No way. 71 00:02:24,506 --> 00:02:27,131 If you do, I'll write you a check for $6,000. 72 00:02:27,162 --> 00:02:28,920 Checks! Checks! Yay, checks! 73 00:02:28,945 --> 00:02:30,202 - That didn't quite go as planned. - Yay! 74 00:02:30,226 --> 00:02:32,069 You know what, all I actually have to do 75 00:02:32,093 --> 00:02:33,288 is get to this lunch with Jess. 76 00:02:33,289 --> 00:02:36,205 - Which is gonna be really fun. - RUTH: Let's play patty-cake. 77 00:02:36,236 --> 00:02:38,226 Sorry to talk about a fun lunch while you're at home. 78 00:02:38,294 --> 00:02:41,229 No, look, we have a kid now. 79 00:02:41,297 --> 00:02:42,898 One of us should be enjoying our lives. 80 00:02:42,965 --> 00:02:45,384 (yawning): Yeah, you're right. We should enjoy our lives. 81 00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:47,903 Go to your adult lunch. Eat, drink, 82 00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:50,072 and come home and tell me of the world out there. 83 00:02:50,139 --> 00:02:52,240 Remember me to the people. 84 00:02:52,308 --> 00:02:53,608 Cece, 85 00:02:53,676 --> 00:02:55,544 - I-I love you. - (snoring softly) 86 00:02:55,611 --> 00:02:57,412 C-Cece? Hello? 87 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,549 - Play patty-cake. - I'm trying. 88 00:03:00,616 --> 00:03:04,119 Nick... (chuckles) I don't know where to begin. 89 00:03:04,187 --> 00:03:08,056 I know. Pepperwood's growing up. He's becoming... transcendent. 90 00:03:08,124 --> 00:03:10,392 Unbearable. What is this fluff? 91 00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:12,294 You've got two chapters of Pepperwood and Jessica Night 92 00:03:12,361 --> 00:03:13,929 in bed eating croissants. 93 00:03:13,996 --> 00:03:16,298 They chase a feather down a cobblestone street? 94 00:03:16,365 --> 00:03:18,144 He fell in love, Merle. 95 00:03:18,168 --> 00:03:19,334 - And then he was reborn. - (sighs) 96 00:03:19,335 --> 00:03:21,403 And it's sweet when you think about it like that. 97 00:03:21,471 --> 00:03:24,773 Okay, I've seen this a million times. Your life has changed, 98 00:03:24,841 --> 00:03:26,408 and now you've lost his voice. 99 00:03:26,476 --> 00:03:28,110 I can't publish this. 100 00:03:28,177 --> 00:03:30,078 What? 101 00:03:30,146 --> 00:03:31,913 What are you saying? Pepperwood's over? 102 00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:33,096 Maybe it's run its course. 103 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,792 Maybe it's time to move on to something new. 104 00:03:34,851 --> 00:03:38,153 - You have other ideas, right? - Oh, yeah, a ton of 'em. 105 00:03:38,221 --> 00:03:39,755 - Okay. All right. - So many. 106 00:03:39,822 --> 00:03:42,591 - Great. - In my computer drawer at home. 107 00:03:42,658 --> 00:03:43,825 Well, why don't you come in tomorrow, 108 00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:45,160 pitch me your best three, 109 00:03:45,228 --> 00:03:46,428 and we'll see what we got. 110 00:03:46,496 --> 00:03:49,498 No. I want to pitch you my best ten. 111 00:03:49,565 --> 00:03:50,499 (both laugh) 112 00:03:50,566 --> 00:03:51,633 I'm gonna pitch you three. 113 00:03:51,701 --> 00:03:53,335 Let's make it three. That seems... 114 00:03:53,402 --> 00:03:55,804 (gasps) Hey, girl! Hey, girl! 115 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:58,507 - I love that we are doing this. - So good to see you! 116 00:03:58,574 --> 00:04:00,742 - Celebrating your new job. - Two hardworking ladies. 117 00:04:00,810 --> 00:04:04,346 ♪ Work hard, play hard, work hard, play hard ♪ 118 00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:06,281 - ♪ Work hard, play h... ♪ - (yawns) Okay. 119 00:04:06,349 --> 00:04:07,682 Let's sit down. I'm beat. 120 00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:10,185 Ruth was up all night. 121 00:04:10,253 --> 00:04:12,120 Hey, excuse me, young man, could we get two glasses 122 00:04:12,188 --> 00:04:13,822 - of Chardonnay? - Chardonnay! 123 00:04:13,890 --> 00:04:16,124 - And a pot of coffee. - We are doing this. 124 00:04:16,192 --> 00:04:19,228 We are doing it! (sighs) So, Ruth is pretty tough, 125 00:04:19,283 --> 00:04:20,596 but even if she's not sleeping, 126 00:04:20,650 --> 00:04:23,298 at least she's not still potty training. 127 00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:25,133 - Ooh...! - (gasps) 128 00:04:25,201 --> 00:04:26,935 - What, baby? - It's happening. 129 00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:29,838 Okay. Here we go. Here we go. 130 00:04:29,906 --> 00:04:31,973 - SCHMIDT: Occupied! - Why is Daddy still in the bathroom? 131 00:04:32,041 --> 00:04:34,843 I don't know, honey. This'll do. This is great. 132 00:04:34,911 --> 00:04:37,679 Okay, and... (panting) 133 00:04:37,747 --> 00:04:40,982 (sighs) That was a close one. 134 00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:43,952 Honestly, I'm just craving some adult time. 135 00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:46,154 Oh. You're quick with it. I like that. 136 00:04:46,222 --> 00:04:48,657 Yeah. We're here to celebrate you. 137 00:04:48,724 --> 00:04:50,859 So, tell me about the job. 138 00:04:50,927 --> 00:04:53,528 You know, it's great. It's, um, you know, a big office. 139 00:04:53,596 --> 00:04:56,164 Fueling fires. Making a difference. 140 00:04:56,232 --> 00:04:58,417 Make that money. I love that. 141 00:04:58,441 --> 00:05:00,073 - (chuckles) - Mm. 142 00:05:03,906 --> 00:05:05,207 Okay. 143 00:05:05,274 --> 00:05:08,510 Mmm. Honestly, I'm probably gonna quit after lunch. 144 00:05:08,578 --> 00:05:10,979 - What? - Cool if we call this your treat? 145 00:05:14,364 --> 00:05:16,330 Right. Heroin's in the diaper pail, 146 00:05:16,396 --> 00:05:17,911 baby wipes are in the cabinet. 147 00:05:17,989 --> 00:05:20,012 Oh, man, she's so lucky to have three dads. 148 00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:22,385 (chuckles) Hey, have you seen this? 149 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:25,554 - Come on, man. - These three goofballs just hid heroin 150 00:05:25,622 --> 00:05:27,890 in the baby's diaper disposal. 151 00:05:27,958 --> 00:05:30,793 - What a ride! - Winston, why are you still here? 152 00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:32,054 - Shh! Shh! - To have fun. 153 00:05:32,078 --> 00:05:33,095 Why are you here? 154 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,422 (quietly): Keep it down. Ruth is napping. 155 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:36,866 In my bed? You put that kid to sleep in... 156 00:05:36,933 --> 00:05:38,267 Yes, and I changed the sheets. 157 00:05:38,335 --> 00:05:41,637 It's very clear to me what side of the bed you sleep on. 158 00:05:41,705 --> 00:05:43,939 - Busted. - Ruth hasn't slept in 24 hours, 159 00:05:44,007 --> 00:05:46,242 so I drove her around in my car. She told me she had to pee, 160 00:05:46,309 --> 00:05:47,276 so I brought her here. 161 00:05:47,344 --> 00:05:49,245 She nodded off on the toilet. 162 00:05:49,312 --> 00:05:50,479 It was very cute. 163 00:05:50,547 --> 00:05:52,715 Honestly, it reminded me of you. 164 00:05:52,783 --> 00:05:54,450 - That's great... - I took 70 pictures. 165 00:05:54,518 --> 00:05:55,751 - But that's... - Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 166 00:05:55,819 --> 00:05:57,453 - Are you guys seeing this? - (groans softly) 167 00:05:57,521 --> 00:05:59,255 (chuckles) I just thought of it just now. 168 00:05:59,322 --> 00:06:02,258 Three Men and a Little Lady. One, two, three. 169 00:06:02,325 --> 00:06:03,926 We should do this movie with Ruth. 170 00:06:03,994 --> 00:06:06,662 Winston, you cannot do a movie. 171 00:06:06,730 --> 00:06:09,598 What is that goon Guttenberg painting on the walls? 172 00:06:09,666 --> 00:06:11,600 Words sound weird to me when I'm this tired. 173 00:06:11,668 --> 00:06:14,437 That ever happen to you? Like, Gu-Guttenberg. 174 00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:15,771 Gu... 175 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:17,773 - Gu... - Gu... 176 00:06:17,841 --> 00:06:19,942 - Enough, guys! - Gu'enberg. 177 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:22,445 Merle hated my last draft. He said Pepperwood is over. 178 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,679 - What? - I'll kill him. 179 00:06:23,747 --> 00:06:25,481 He wants me to pitch new ideas by tomorrow. 180 00:06:25,549 --> 00:06:27,116 You can't tell ideas to a dead man. 181 00:06:27,184 --> 00:06:30,453 Winston, stop! Nobody's killing anybody. 182 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,713 - Okay. - But the truth is, 183 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,025 I do have something new. 184 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,523 And I'd like to pitch it to you guys. 185 00:06:34,591 --> 00:06:36,525 - He's tough. - Okay. 186 00:06:36,593 --> 00:06:38,294 - He's controversial. - Ooh-hoo-hoo. 187 00:06:38,361 --> 00:06:39,995 He's pro-choice. 188 00:06:40,063 --> 00:06:41,797 He's Senator Porcupine. 189 00:06:41,865 --> 00:06:43,332 Pass. Pa-Pass in the room. 190 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,634 - Uh, question for the author. - No, thank you. 191 00:06:45,702 --> 00:06:47,803 Senator Porcupine... how does he put on a tie? 192 00:06:47,871 --> 00:06:48,804 Good question. 193 00:06:48,872 --> 00:06:50,139 Ow! 194 00:06:50,207 --> 00:06:51,474 - Oh, geez. - Aah! 195 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,204 - (groans) - Aah! 196 00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:55,345 - Mm. Mm. - I don't know. With-with his mouth? 197 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,046 That's what I'm saying... I don't have the answer. 198 00:06:57,114 --> 00:06:59,315 I mean, Pepperwood was all that I had. Now I've got nothing. 199 00:06:59,382 --> 00:07:00,983 I feel like I'm, like, a wood-maker 200 00:07:01,051 --> 00:07:03,285 who can't make any, um... 201 00:07:03,353 --> 00:07:05,821 - BOTH: Wood. - Wood! See, I don't have anything! 202 00:07:05,889 --> 00:07:07,656 I knew it! I got nothing! 203 00:07:07,724 --> 00:07:09,158 (door slams) 204 00:07:09,226 --> 00:07:10,826 RUTH: I'm awake! 205 00:07:10,851 --> 00:07:12,685 Hey, I think Ruth is awake. 206 00:07:12,796 --> 00:07:15,498 You think, Winston? 207 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:17,199 Wait, so, you're saying 208 00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:18,534 that you're doing Russell's busywork? 209 00:07:18,602 --> 00:07:21,003 That you, Jessica Day, former principal 210 00:07:21,071 --> 00:07:24,373 of an entire school, is doing his busywork? 211 00:07:24,441 --> 00:07:27,676 Nah, girl. Nah, hold up. One sec. 212 00:07:27,744 --> 00:07:29,678 How's that wine and coffee combination treating you? 213 00:07:29,746 --> 00:07:31,013 My heart is beating really fast, 214 00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:33,015 but time is moving really slow, 215 00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:34,850 - so it all kind of evens out. - Hmm. 216 00:07:34,918 --> 00:07:36,018 Wait, why are you quitting? 217 00:07:36,086 --> 00:07:37,353 He has a couple guys he trusts, 218 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,854 and I just get left out of all the major decisions. 219 00:07:38,922 --> 00:07:40,222 - Typical. - Heads up, 220 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:41,223 you're putting sugar in your wine. 221 00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,591 I made a boo-boo. 222 00:07:42,659 --> 00:07:43,859 Let's just... 223 00:07:45,061 --> 00:07:46,695 No, I made a yum-yum. 224 00:07:46,763 --> 00:07:48,864 - You know what the craziest thing is? - Tell me. 225 00:07:48,932 --> 00:07:50,866 Every Tuesday, he has these lunch meetings 226 00:07:50,934 --> 00:07:52,535 with a couple of guys from the office, 227 00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:55,538 - and he's never once invited me. - Babe. 228 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:58,908 - Yes, babe. - Every woman has a "Tuesday meeting" 229 00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:00,309 they haven't been invited to. 230 00:08:00,377 --> 00:08:02,044 How many times in your life 231 00:08:02,112 --> 00:08:03,879 have you been excluded 232 00:08:03,947 --> 00:08:05,848 from something important or talked over 233 00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:08,784 or ignored because you're the only woman in the room? 234 00:08:08,852 --> 00:08:09,985 It was different 235 00:08:10,053 --> 00:08:11,253 when I was running my own company, 236 00:08:11,321 --> 00:08:13,255 but ever since we joined with GKM, 237 00:08:13,323 --> 00:08:16,959 I've had to start dealing with this male-pattern dumbness. 238 00:08:17,027 --> 00:08:19,061 (pumping) 239 00:08:19,129 --> 00:08:21,030 MAN: Ugh. 240 00:08:21,097 --> 00:08:23,232 - What is that? - It's a breast pump, Ken. 241 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,633 I said I needed time to pump, and you refused 242 00:08:24,701 --> 00:08:26,368 to change the meeting, so here we are. 243 00:08:26,436 --> 00:08:27,803 Now, for the jeans campaign. 244 00:08:27,871 --> 00:08:29,438 Which one of these guys says, 245 00:08:29,506 --> 00:08:32,274 "I'm having fun in Toronto"? 246 00:08:32,342 --> 00:08:33,342 (pumping continues) 247 00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:34,777 So, for half an hour, 248 00:08:34,845 --> 00:08:36,579 they had to sit there 249 00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:39,982 and watch me get milked like a freaking cow. 250 00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:42,210 Oh, yeah, your nipples looked like pizza bagels in that thing. 251 00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:43,252 Yeah, they do. 252 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,154 You know what? This is not the first time 253 00:08:45,222 --> 00:08:47,590 - I've been left out of a Tuesday meeting. - Mm-hmm. 254 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,358 Remember my first job in administration? 255 00:08:49,426 --> 00:08:51,460 The budget's still too high. 256 00:08:51,528 --> 00:08:53,596 You know, I think it might be the number of field trips 257 00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:54,930 we've been going on? 258 00:08:54,998 --> 00:08:56,298 What about the number of field trips? 259 00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:57,499 Yes, exactly. 260 00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,568 - Great idea. - I literally just said that. 261 00:08:59,636 --> 00:09:00,836 I think we're gonna need 262 00:09:00,904 --> 00:09:02,404 to take it out of the transportation budget. 263 00:09:02,472 --> 00:09:04,139 Here's a crazy idea. 264 00:09:04,207 --> 00:09:07,276 What if we take it out of the transportation budget? 265 00:09:07,344 --> 00:09:09,278 MEN (chanting): Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, 266 00:09:09,346 --> 00:09:11,280 Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben! 267 00:09:11,348 --> 00:09:12,815 I've been left out of Tuesday meetings 268 00:09:12,883 --> 00:09:14,450 - as long as I can remember. - Yes. 269 00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:16,018 Exactly. The system is broke, 270 00:09:16,086 --> 00:09:17,486 and I can't feel my face. 271 00:09:17,554 --> 00:09:19,321 - Is that a good thing? - I don't know. 272 00:09:19,389 --> 00:09:22,791 Oh, that belongs in the fire. 273 00:09:22,859 --> 00:09:25,394 - Whoa. - Oh, hey, guys. 274 00:09:25,462 --> 00:09:27,496 What do you got here, buddy? A little room fire? 275 00:09:27,564 --> 00:09:28,664 That seems safe. 276 00:09:28,732 --> 00:09:30,132 Oh, don't worry, I got this. 277 00:09:31,368 --> 00:09:32,801 (sniffs) 278 00:09:32,869 --> 00:09:34,336 Oh, I should've known that was whiskey. Oh. 279 00:09:36,539 --> 00:09:37,473 (whoops) 280 00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:39,308 Guys, please let me hate myself 281 00:09:39,376 --> 00:09:41,510 and everything that I have created. 282 00:09:41,578 --> 00:09:42,978 That's it. I have to call Merle. 283 00:09:43,046 --> 00:09:44,813 I'm gonna tell him that I've got nothing. 284 00:09:44,881 --> 00:09:45,915 - My career's over. - (sighs) 285 00:09:45,982 --> 00:09:46,982 Pepperwood was all that I had. 286 00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,183 I'm done. 287 00:09:48,251 --> 00:09:50,252 - I'm three. - Everybody knows that, Ruth. 288 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,887 Okay, look, Nick, you're not gonna call Merle. 289 00:09:51,955 --> 00:09:54,657 (yawning): Okay, you're gonna go in there tomorrow, 290 00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:55,958 and you're gonna do... 291 00:09:56,026 --> 00:09:57,693 Wake up, Daddy. 292 00:09:57,761 --> 00:09:59,662 You're gonna do an A-plus, 293 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,430 perfect-style job. 294 00:10:01,498 --> 00:10:03,198 Nick, you have a ton of ideas, okay? 295 00:10:03,266 --> 00:10:04,500 A lot of i... 296 00:10:05,602 --> 00:10:07,169 ...idea notebooks. 297 00:10:07,237 --> 00:10:08,837 - I don't want to hear this. - WINSTON: Here we go. 298 00:10:08,905 --> 00:10:10,739 Oh, never mind, that's a maze you drew. 299 00:10:10,807 --> 00:10:13,342 Yeah, you drew a maze... then couldn't solve it. 300 00:10:13,410 --> 00:10:15,177 You went straight for the wall. 301 00:10:15,245 --> 00:10:16,211 It was a hard maze. 302 00:10:16,279 --> 00:10:17,913 This one is just a list of words 303 00:10:17,981 --> 00:10:19,214 that rhyme with "moon." 304 00:10:19,282 --> 00:10:20,716 But then right away, 305 00:10:20,784 --> 00:10:23,719 it's "bun." "Moon, spoon, loon, bun"? 306 00:10:23,787 --> 00:10:25,554 The heck is this? 307 00:10:25,622 --> 00:10:27,189 There was no other words that rhymed with "moon." 308 00:10:27,257 --> 00:10:28,589 - "Tune"? - That's what I'm saying. 309 00:10:28,643 --> 00:10:30,526 I don't have a... Pepperwood was all that I had. 310 00:10:30,593 --> 00:10:31,860 I've got nothing. 311 00:10:31,928 --> 00:10:33,896 You're Mr. Diarrhea Head. 312 00:10:33,964 --> 00:10:35,197 Please don't say that to me right now. 313 00:10:35,265 --> 00:10:36,198 I'm going through a thing right now, 314 00:10:36,266 --> 00:10:37,433 so please don't say that to me. 315 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,534 I'm asking you, please don't call me that. 316 00:10:38,601 --> 00:10:40,135 Okay, Mr. Diarrhea Head. 317 00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:42,571 No, you're the Diarrhea Head. 318 00:10:42,639 --> 00:10:45,207 Okay? Schmidt, what would you like me to do here? 319 00:10:45,275 --> 00:10:46,375 What do you want from me? What am I supposed to do? 320 00:10:46,443 --> 00:10:48,744 Uh, you used to love fixing my life. 321 00:10:48,812 --> 00:10:51,146 Before... (grunts) came around. 322 00:10:51,214 --> 00:10:52,381 SCHMIDT: It's different times. 323 00:10:52,449 --> 00:10:54,283 I got to wipe her butt. I got to wipe my butt. 324 00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:55,684 I can't wipe your butt, too. 325 00:10:55,752 --> 00:10:57,386 Can I get in on that? 326 00:10:57,454 --> 00:10:58,921 Never mind. 327 00:10:58,989 --> 00:11:00,389 That's it, I'm done. I'm calling Merle, 328 00:11:00,457 --> 00:11:01,924 and I'm telling him I don't have any ideas. 329 00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:04,059 Ruth, honey, will you please watch Uncle Nick 330 00:11:04,127 --> 00:11:05,394 while Uncle Winston and I 331 00:11:05,462 --> 00:11:07,029 have a conversation? 332 00:11:07,097 --> 00:11:08,564 Fine. Follow me. 333 00:11:08,631 --> 00:11:10,766 I'll follow you if I want to follow you. 334 00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:12,901 - Let's go. - Okay. I'm coming. 335 00:11:12,969 --> 00:11:14,903 If anyone's the boss between us, it's me. 336 00:11:14,971 --> 00:11:16,271 - RUTH: I'm the boss. - (door closes) 337 00:11:16,339 --> 00:11:17,773 You know something, I used to think 338 00:11:17,841 --> 00:11:19,274 that Nick was the Guttenberg, 339 00:11:19,342 --> 00:11:20,509 but it turns out 340 00:11:20,577 --> 00:11:22,277 he may be the little lady. 341 00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:23,779 Winston, I need you to focus here. 342 00:11:23,847 --> 00:11:25,781 We have a spiraling man on our hands. 343 00:11:25,849 --> 00:11:27,082 We just need to remind him 344 00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:28,717 that he has good ideas. 345 00:11:28,785 --> 00:11:30,392 Do we have any other idea notebooks? 346 00:11:30,446 --> 00:11:32,921 Because this is just nonsense. I read it, 347 00:11:32,989 --> 00:11:34,623 and I don't want to be friends with him anymore. 348 00:11:34,691 --> 00:11:36,258 Maybe... 349 00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:37,960 it doesn't have to be his writing. 350 00:11:38,028 --> 00:11:39,179 - It could be from anything. - Hmm. 351 00:11:39,218 --> 00:11:41,296 - Just find something. - You know what, yes. 352 00:11:41,364 --> 00:11:42,798 Yes. Um... 353 00:11:42,866 --> 00:11:44,833 Okay. 354 00:11:44,901 --> 00:11:48,404 Here we go. "All reactionaries are paper tigers. 355 00:11:48,471 --> 00:11:50,773 "In appearance the reactionaries are terrifying, 356 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,376 but, in reality, they are not so powerful." 357 00:11:54,444 --> 00:11:55,878 - That really grabs you. - Yeah. 358 00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:58,414 - What is that? - It's, uh... Mao's Little Red Book. 359 00:11:58,481 --> 00:12:00,783 The Chinese communist manifesto? 360 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,217 Yes. 361 00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:04,820 Read that again. 362 00:12:04,888 --> 00:12:07,823 (whispering): "All reactionaries are paper tigers..." 363 00:12:07,891 --> 00:12:09,458 You know what I don't get? 364 00:12:09,526 --> 00:12:12,094 When did I start thinking it was my fault? Is that good? 365 00:12:12,162 --> 00:12:14,329 - Mm-hmm. - Why am I the one who has to quit? 366 00:12:14,397 --> 00:12:15,798 Yes! That's right. You know what? 367 00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,132 Tell me what day it is. 368 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,435 It's... Tuesday. 369 00:12:19,502 --> 00:12:20,502 Tell me where we're going. 370 00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:21,970 To the Tuesday meeting. 371 00:12:22,038 --> 00:12:23,005 The last Tuesday meeting 372 00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:24,306 I won't be invited to. 373 00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:26,942 - Mm-hmm. - Add this to the agenda, you jagbags. 374 00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:28,444 That's right. I am drunk right now 375 00:12:28,511 --> 00:12:29,845 and very awake! 376 00:12:29,913 --> 00:12:31,914 Daddy got me this dress. 377 00:12:31,981 --> 00:12:34,149 Well, you know, your dad used to, uh, dress me, too, Ruth. 378 00:12:34,217 --> 00:12:36,118 - Why? - Uh, because he cared. 379 00:12:36,186 --> 00:12:38,253 - Why? - I don't really know, but he did. 380 00:12:38,321 --> 00:12:41,223 - Why? - Before you, I was his baby girl. 381 00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:42,324 WINSTON: Nick. 382 00:12:42,392 --> 00:12:43,659 Look what we just found. 383 00:12:43,726 --> 00:12:45,661 A forgotten masterpiece. 384 00:12:45,728 --> 00:12:47,629 You've got to hear this. You've still got it. 385 00:12:47,697 --> 00:12:49,665 "All reactionaries are paper tigers. 386 00:12:49,732 --> 00:12:52,668 "In appearance the reactionaries are terrifying, 387 00:12:52,735 --> 00:12:54,036 "but in reality, 388 00:12:54,104 --> 00:12:56,705 they are not so powerful." 389 00:12:56,773 --> 00:12:58,607 And that? That's just the beginning. 390 00:12:58,675 --> 00:13:00,175 I mean, I don't remember writing it. 391 00:13:00,243 --> 00:13:01,844 It does sound like something I would write. 392 00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,213 Just think about it. You're always saying stuff like, 393 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:07,149 "In reality, they are not so powerful." 394 00:13:07,217 --> 00:13:09,351 - In terms of the reactionaries. - Ha ha! 395 00:13:09,419 --> 00:13:11,286 - I wrote that? - Check that out, man. That's you. 396 00:13:11,354 --> 00:13:13,021 - That's crazy. - Let me take a peek at that. 397 00:13:13,089 --> 00:13:14,189 You just need to believe in yourself, Nick. 398 00:13:14,257 --> 00:13:16,058 You've still got it. It's powerful. 399 00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:17,826 It's v-very... it's-it's powerful stuff. 400 00:13:17,894 --> 00:13:19,361 Well, I think it's pretty clear. 401 00:13:19,429 --> 00:13:20,896 I'm back, boys. 402 00:13:20,964 --> 00:13:22,564 - Whoa! Shut up! - (Nick laughs) 403 00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:23,866 I'm an awesome writer. 404 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,501 - Yeah, you are, man. - You're v... you're v... 405 00:13:25,568 --> 00:13:27,402 - you're very... you're very good. - You're the best. 406 00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:33,064 If I were a red shoe, where would I hide? 407 00:13:33,089 --> 00:13:35,284 - I'm going over here. Ah. - Oh, my God. (laughs) 408 00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:37,281 What about back here? No. (screams) 409 00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:38,583 (laughs) You got to be crazy. 410 00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:40,786 (quietly): Turn that down! 411 00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:43,009 Ruth is finally asleep. Also, what are you doing here? 412 00:13:43,077 --> 00:13:44,310 Did my wife give you a key? 413 00:13:44,378 --> 00:13:46,146 Yeah. For emergencies. 414 00:13:46,213 --> 00:13:47,347 What is the emergency? 415 00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:50,016 If they don't get the little lady back from England... 416 00:13:50,084 --> 00:13:52,318 - man, they may never see her again. - Oh, forget it. 417 00:13:52,386 --> 00:13:54,154 If you're gonna watch that, turn on the closed captioning. 418 00:13:54,221 --> 00:13:56,322 If Ruth wakes up again, I'm gonna plotz my pants. 419 00:13:56,390 --> 00:13:58,658 - Oh, Schmidt, are you here? Winston! - Shh! Shh! Shh! 420 00:13:58,726 --> 00:13:59,692 Winston Bishop... 421 00:14:01,529 --> 00:14:04,610 - I'll do it again. - Shh! 422 00:14:05,199 --> 00:14:06,499 SCHMIDT (whispering): Don't do this. Shh! 423 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,651 Please. Why aren't you writing? 424 00:14:08,736 --> 00:14:11,004 I was writing, but I got so inspired by the pages 425 00:14:11,071 --> 00:14:13,339 that you found that I drove straight to Merle's office. 426 00:14:13,407 --> 00:14:15,208 "Revolutionary culture 427 00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:17,343 "is a powerful revolutionary weapon 428 00:14:17,411 --> 00:14:19,512 for the broad masses of the people." 429 00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:21,381 Hey, w-what do you call this again? 430 00:14:21,448 --> 00:14:23,383 - Johnny's Big Day at Work. - Nice. 431 00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:25,318 I have another title for you. 432 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,821 - Mao's Little Red Book?! - Shh! Please, voices. 433 00:14:27,888 --> 00:14:29,856 - Mao's Little Red Book?! - Voices. Voices! 434 00:14:29,924 --> 00:14:31,558 - You lied. - Shh. 435 00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:32,892 You lied to me. 436 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,060 Don't look at it as a lie. 437 00:14:34,128 --> 00:14:35,862 - All right. - Look at it as not a lie, 438 00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:37,564 and then... and then you're fine. 439 00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:39,532 And now I'm not just a hack with bad ideas, 440 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,868 - but I'm a filthy commie! - Shh. Please! 441 00:14:41,936 --> 00:14:43,102 And you know I'm no commie! 442 00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:44,337 I don't know your personal beliefs. 443 00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:45,605 - You don't know my personal beliefs? - Enough! 444 00:14:45,673 --> 00:14:46,706 Those are fightin' words. 445 00:14:46,774 --> 00:14:48,041 We didn't think that you were gonna give 446 00:14:48,108 --> 00:14:49,108 those actual pages to your editor. 447 00:14:49,176 --> 00:14:51,244 We were just trying to inspire you. 448 00:14:51,312 --> 00:14:52,445 Also, why do you own that book? 449 00:14:52,513 --> 00:14:53,880 You see a red book, you buy a red book. 450 00:14:53,948 --> 00:14:55,548 - What do you do with blue books? - Don't buy. 451 00:14:55,616 --> 00:14:57,083 - Yellow books? - Wait on it. 452 00:14:57,151 --> 00:14:58,551 - That's true. - Hi, Daddy. 453 00:14:58,619 --> 00:15:00,854 No. Good God, child. 454 00:15:00,921 --> 00:15:03,879 Oh... my... God. 455 00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:05,145 I know what we need to do. 456 00:15:05,216 --> 00:15:09,386 ♪ Goodnight, sweetheart, well, my friends are liars ♪ 457 00:15:09,453 --> 00:15:11,788 SCHMIDT: ♪ We were just trying ♪ 458 00:15:11,856 --> 00:15:13,736 ♪ To help you write... ♪ 459 00:15:13,806 --> 00:15:15,892 Guys, you see what we're doing? 460 00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,707 We're doing Three Men and a Baby. 461 00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:18,828 - Winston, you cannot do a movie. - Can't do a movie. 462 00:15:18,896 --> 00:15:20,997 Yes, you can. You can do any movie except for a documentary, 463 00:15:21,065 --> 00:15:22,465 because those already happened. 464 00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:23,733 Harmony on three. 465 00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:25,101 One, two, three. 466 00:15:25,169 --> 00:15:28,772 ♪ Goodnight... ♪ 467 00:15:28,839 --> 00:15:30,073 I'm not tired. 468 00:15:31,549 --> 00:15:33,843 - Knock-knock, Russell. - Who's there? 469 00:15:33,882 --> 00:15:35,437 - Two women. - Two women who? 470 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,952 - Two women coming in! - Two women coming in who? 471 00:15:38,015 --> 00:15:40,350 We went over this, Cece... that's not the line. 472 00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:42,852 That's exactly the kind of input we've been talking about. 473 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,689 Russell? We need to talk. 474 00:15:45,756 --> 00:15:47,524 Oh, I'm scared of this energy. 475 00:15:47,591 --> 00:15:49,859 Ya best be. Ya best be scared. 476 00:15:49,927 --> 00:15:50,994 Is she drunk? 477 00:15:51,062 --> 00:15:52,429 Yeah. On four glasses of Chardonnay 478 00:15:52,496 --> 00:15:53,930 and two pots of coffee. 479 00:15:53,998 --> 00:15:55,665 And I'm drunk on rage! 480 00:15:55,733 --> 00:15:57,334 Knock-knock, boys. Open your brain doors. 481 00:15:57,401 --> 00:15:59,502 - Sit down, Cece. - Okay. 482 00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:03,373 Look, I've let this slide too much in my life, but no more. 483 00:16:03,441 --> 00:16:06,776 You may not want me in this meeting, but I belong here. 484 00:16:06,844 --> 00:16:09,685 - Yeah, I-I'm not sure you do. - Too late, Russell. 485 00:16:09,732 --> 00:16:11,466 - I'm bustin' in. - ♪ Work hard ♪ 486 00:16:11,498 --> 00:16:13,323 - ♪ Play hard, work hard ♪ - Can't keep a good woman down. 487 00:16:13,384 --> 00:16:15,169 - ♪ Play hard, work hard ♪ - Cece, sit. 488 00:16:15,226 --> 00:16:17,487 - Okay. - You think just 'cause I'm a woman, 489 00:16:17,555 --> 00:16:20,223 I can't bring anything to the table? Well, try me. 490 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:21,858 'Cause I'm pullin' up a chair, 491 00:16:21,926 --> 00:16:23,860 - and I'm gettin' in the game. - CECE: Ooh. 492 00:16:25,730 --> 00:16:28,732 Okay. Guys, this is Jessica Day. 493 00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:31,501 Jessica, this is my divorced father support group. 494 00:16:31,569 --> 00:16:34,070 We meet every Tuesday. 495 00:16:35,272 --> 00:16:38,208 Oh, that's why you're crying. 496 00:16:38,275 --> 00:16:40,377 It makes sense now. (chuckles softly) 497 00:16:41,946 --> 00:16:43,213 Divorced fathers? 498 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,750 Um, my dad... my dad is a divorced father. 499 00:16:46,817 --> 00:16:49,886 Your kids are gonna turn out fine. 500 00:16:49,954 --> 00:16:53,373 Sort of. There-there might be some rough years. 501 00:16:53,483 --> 00:16:55,225 I like your choice of snacks. 502 00:16:55,292 --> 00:16:57,894 (loud crunching) 503 00:17:03,176 --> 00:17:04,628 JESS: Ugh, Russell, I know 504 00:17:04,653 --> 00:17:06,715 you're probably mad at me for many reasons. 505 00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:09,723 One you might not know about is that my friend did indeed 506 00:17:09,791 --> 00:17:12,192 get sick in the receptionist's desk drawer. 507 00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:13,827 - I just wanted to say... - No, I wanted 508 00:17:13,895 --> 00:17:16,196 to say that this morning I was ready to quit. 509 00:17:16,264 --> 00:17:17,498 Wait, you're gonna quit? 510 00:17:17,565 --> 00:17:19,199 But I decided not to, because I know 511 00:17:19,267 --> 00:17:21,368 I can really make a difference for these schools 512 00:17:21,436 --> 00:17:23,203 if you will let me. 513 00:17:23,271 --> 00:17:24,905 I know I was wrong about the meeting, but you 514 00:17:24,973 --> 00:17:28,041 have to admit, you haven't given me any real work to do. 515 00:17:28,109 --> 00:17:29,176 - That's true. - Why is that? 516 00:17:29,244 --> 00:17:31,078 Do you not think of me as an equal? 517 00:17:31,146 --> 00:17:33,747 Because if that's the case, that needs to change. 518 00:17:33,815 --> 00:17:35,549 No, that's not it at all. 519 00:17:35,617 --> 00:17:37,584 Jess, it's just that you're new here, 520 00:17:37,652 --> 00:17:39,419 and I've got a lot of trust issues. 521 00:17:39,487 --> 00:17:41,914 Probably from my third wife, Jackie. 522 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,891 In fact, we were just discussing it in the divorced dad... 523 00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:46,727 Wait, I thought your fourth wife was named Jackie. 524 00:17:46,795 --> 00:17:48,562 I married two women named Jackie. 525 00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:51,313 - Back-to-back? - Yeah. They were related. 526 00:17:51,383 --> 00:17:53,967 It's complicated. Look, I got to make this right. 527 00:17:54,048 --> 00:17:57,382 I hired you because I feel like you're exactly the right person 528 00:17:57,407 --> 00:17:58,743 to get stuff done around here. 529 00:17:58,774 --> 00:18:02,666 So I guess it's time for me to just let go and let you do that. 530 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,334 You won't regret it. 531 00:18:04,402 --> 00:18:06,036 - All right. - Also, while we're here talking, 532 00:18:07,102 --> 00:18:09,571 we need some tampons in the bathroom. 533 00:18:10,576 --> 00:18:12,004 Are you asleep? 534 00:18:12,108 --> 00:18:13,276 No. 535 00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:15,678 Well... I give up. 536 00:18:15,764 --> 00:18:17,447 This is my reality. 537 00:18:17,515 --> 00:18:19,716 I'll never sleep again. 538 00:18:19,784 --> 00:18:22,177 Tell me a story, Uncle Nick. 539 00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:24,754 Me? No, no, no. I don't have any stories, Ruth. 540 00:18:24,822 --> 00:18:28,592 ♪ Come on, Nick, you can do it ♪ 541 00:18:28,659 --> 00:18:29,593 Please? 542 00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:31,094 Nick, she asked for a story. 543 00:18:31,794 --> 00:18:33,697 - Why don't you tell her a story? - I thought you wanted 544 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:36,433 - to sleep, Schmidt. - I don't know how to do that anymore. 545 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:37,801 I've pushed through. 546 00:18:37,869 --> 00:18:39,970 - My body doesn't know how to sleep. - All right, fine, 547 00:18:40,037 --> 00:18:42,205 Ruth, you want a story? Here's a story. 548 00:18:42,273 --> 00:18:44,374 There was once a magical bear, 549 00:18:44,442 --> 00:18:45,542 and he, uh... 550 00:18:45,610 --> 00:18:47,210 I don't know, 551 00:18:47,278 --> 00:18:51,081 walked on a magical tightrope to Seattle. 552 00:18:51,148 --> 00:18:53,717 Have you ever seen a magical bear? 553 00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:56,553 - No. - Is there a tightrope to Seattle? 554 00:18:56,621 --> 00:18:58,288 Not that I know of, Ruth. 555 00:18:58,356 --> 00:19:01,158 - Ugh, this is garbage. - Well, what do you want from me? 556 00:19:01,228 --> 00:19:02,330 It's late at night, you asked for a story... 557 00:19:02,369 --> 00:19:03,393 that's the best that came out. 558 00:19:03,461 --> 00:19:06,830 Weren't you ever little like me, Uncle Nick? 559 00:19:06,898 --> 00:19:09,065 Of course I was little like you. Don't you know anything? 560 00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:10,500 I was born on a cold, lonely street 561 00:19:10,568 --> 00:19:12,068 on the South Side of Chicago. 562 00:19:12,136 --> 00:19:14,938 As rumor has it, and there's no proof of this, obviously, 563 00:19:15,006 --> 00:19:16,573 but I delivered myself. 564 00:19:16,641 --> 00:19:19,843 It was my fifth birthday party, there was a knock at the door. 565 00:19:19,911 --> 00:19:24,194 My father jumped up, gave us all a thumbs-up, gave me a wink, 566 00:19:24,272 --> 00:19:25,615 then he jumped out the window, 567 00:19:25,683 --> 00:19:27,817 - bounced up, took off running. - Oh, wow... 568 00:19:27,885 --> 00:19:29,185 I didn't see him for six months. 569 00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:30,787 My only babysitter at the time 570 00:19:30,855 --> 00:19:34,250 was a rollercoaster at a local amusement park. 571 00:19:34,312 --> 00:19:37,127 That and a pack of cigarettes. (chuckles wryly) 572 00:19:38,022 --> 00:19:39,923 Being nine in Chicago is different. 573 00:19:39,984 --> 00:19:41,961 The tree fell, hit the power line, 574 00:19:42,023 --> 00:19:43,858 and the power line fell right on the hobo, 575 00:19:43,897 --> 00:19:45,502 shocking the hobo back to life. 576 00:19:45,569 --> 00:19:47,771 - That was an amazing moment. - (whispers): Hey. 577 00:19:47,877 --> 00:19:50,990 I don't know, it made me question the existence of God. 578 00:19:51,061 --> 00:19:54,010 I believed entirely in fate, and it was that same fate 579 00:19:54,078 --> 00:19:56,379 that brought me to the woman I love today. 580 00:19:56,447 --> 00:19:59,349 Uh, Nick, go back. Uh, what happened to the hobo? 581 00:19:59,417 --> 00:20:01,151 He stood up, he spun around, 582 00:20:01,218 --> 00:20:04,120 he said, "Time to get a job," and he walked away. 583 00:20:04,188 --> 00:20:07,091 - Why don't you write it down, Nick? - About the hobo? 584 00:20:07,169 --> 00:20:08,725 - WINSTON: Yeah. - Yeah, why not? 585 00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,794 Oh, this is good. This is really good. 586 00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:14,331 We did it, Schmidt. (chuckles) 587 00:20:14,398 --> 00:20:17,133 (snoring) 588 00:20:17,201 --> 00:20:19,669 Schmidt? 589 00:20:19,737 --> 00:20:22,539 (continues snoring) 590 00:20:22,606 --> 00:20:25,119 (whispers): Oh, my God. 591 00:20:27,545 --> 00:20:29,145 Time to go to bed, my friend. 592 00:20:29,213 --> 00:20:31,047 Yeah, I think the coffee's wearing off. 593 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:34,075 - I have to thank you so much for today. - (yawning) 594 00:20:34,129 --> 00:20:35,153 Uh-huh. 595 00:20:35,247 --> 00:20:37,702 Even though now I have so much work to do. 596 00:20:37,755 --> 00:20:39,689 Yeah, you're gonna kill it. It's gonna be great. 597 00:20:39,757 --> 00:20:40,857 I love you. 598 00:20:40,925 --> 00:20:42,225 I do love you. 599 00:20:42,314 --> 00:20:44,181 - Thanks, girl. - Hey, can I tell you a secret? 600 00:20:44,249 --> 00:20:46,533 - Yeah. - I'm not gonna brush my teeth tonight. 601 00:20:46,595 --> 00:20:47,685 JESS: Ooh, interesting choice. 602 00:20:47,753 --> 00:20:49,887 - Thank you. - WINSTON: Come on. 603 00:20:49,955 --> 00:20:51,188 You don't want any of this. 604 00:20:51,256 --> 00:20:52,623 Unhand me! I'm not even tired. 605 00:20:52,691 --> 00:20:53,924 - Go to sleep, buddy. - Yeah, dude, 606 00:20:53,992 --> 00:20:55,593 you haven't blinked in three hours. Come on. 607 00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:56,594 (Schmidt yawns) 608 00:20:56,661 --> 00:20:58,295 Cece... 609 00:20:59,001 --> 00:21:01,860 I love you, but... your breath is trash. 610 00:21:01,907 --> 00:21:04,149 It's like a... it's like a garbage Dumpster. 611 00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:05,736 Thanks for saying that. We were all thinking it. 612 00:21:05,804 --> 00:21:08,445 - Yeah. - Shh, shh, shh. Time for sleep. 613 00:21:08,492 --> 00:21:10,015 You get one story. 614 00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:11,275 Take it away, Nick. 615 00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:14,869 I call this one Timothy and the Chi-Town Hobo. 616 00:21:14,928 --> 00:21:17,806 - ♪ Good night, Schmidt and Cece ♪ - "What are you doing in my box? 617 00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,444 ♪ It's time for sleep ♪ 618 00:21:19,469 --> 00:21:20,572 - ♪ Do, do, do, do, do ♪ - "growled the hobo 619 00:21:20,604 --> 00:21:21,993 - ♪ You haven't slept now ♪ - "to Timothy, 620 00:21:22,054 --> 00:21:24,255 - ♪ For over a week ♪ - "as a muss of hair and a pair 621 00:21:24,322 --> 00:21:26,290 - ♪ Do, do, do, do, do ♪ - "of young, sad, brown eyes... 622 00:21:26,358 --> 00:21:27,958 ♪ We hate to leave, but you should be ♪ 623 00:21:28,026 --> 00:21:30,165 - ♪ Counting your sheep ♪ - "...peeked slowly 624 00:21:30,227 --> 00:21:31,962 - ♪ Oh, good night, Schmidt ♪ - "out of a... 625 00:21:32,032 --> 00:21:34,732 - ♪ And Cece, good-night ♪ - cardboard box." 626 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:35,900 Good night! 627 00:21:35,952 --> 00:21:40,952 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 47877

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