All language subtitles for Mum - 01x04 - August.-HEAT REPACK 720p.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,470 Cathy, do you, um...? 2 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,270 Debs, she doesn't need our help. 3 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,950 Cathy, do you know the rules for a first date? 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,670 - It's not a date. - No, it's not a date, Debs. 5 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,790 Because I don't know what it was like in the...'40s? 6 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,670 '70s. Yeah. 7 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,590 But these days, if you sleep with him, you're a whore, 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,430 and if you don't, you're frigid. 9 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,830 Yeah, but it's not a date, love, remember? 10 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,070 He's just a man that I met online who lost his wife last year. 11 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,150 So it couldn't be less romantic. 12 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,110 - What I did before Ryan was, I had a method. - OK. 13 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,230 What I did was, I didn't sleep with the boys I wanted to sleep with 14 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,110 in case they lost respect for me, 15 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:41,720 and instead, I slept with the boys I didn't want to sleep with. 16 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,860 - That's a really good way of doing it. - Isn't it? 17 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,310 Do you want me to sort your hair out? 18 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,510 I think I'm all right, actually. 19 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,030 You going to join us in the garden, Cathy? 20 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,520 No offence, but your arms are so white, they make me want to puke. 21 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,310 Sorry about Debs. 22 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,510 Oh, don't be silly. She's just trying to help. 23 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:09,400 Yeah. 24 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,430 She's really nice. She's like my cousin, 25 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,520 - but also like my best friend, if that makes sense? - Mm. 26 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:22,960 I think she's, um... I think she's going through the menopause. 27 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,790 Do you know what the menopause is, love? 28 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,990 - Well, not exactly, no. - Right. 29 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,510 But I know it makes you mental. 30 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,870 So when I went on my first date with Dave... 31 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,910 Is this going to be rude? 32 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,390 Yeah, a little bit. 33 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,550 Oh, Cathy, I'm blushing! 34 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,110 When we went on our first date, 35 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,430 we went back to his and, you know, did it. 36 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,430 - Did what? - Sex. 37 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,870 Cathy! 38 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,870 And we did it over and over again that night. 39 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,670 And I don't think we came out of his bedroom the whole weekend 40 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,870 because we were just doing it over and over again. 41 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,390 Oh, that's revolting! 42 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,630 Oh, my God! Cathy! 43 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:13,870 Oh, my God! Cathy, I never knew you were such a minx! 44 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:18,030 Ooh! Ooh, you dirty little grot-bag! 45 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,870 Ooh, blimey! 46 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,950 You saucy little bitch! 47 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,350 Rotten old slut! 48 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,600 - That's enough. - Sorry. 49 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,070 All right, love? Can I get you anything? 50 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,760 No, I'm good. 51 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,390 ♪ I've got my ticket for the long way around 52 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,590 ♪ Two bottles of whisky for the way 53 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:50,230 ♪ And I sure would like some sweet company 54 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,150 ♪ Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow... ♪ 55 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,510 Listen to this. On your mum and dad's first date... 56 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,710 - ♪ When I'm gone - When I'm gone 57 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,830 - ♪ When I'm gone - When I'm gone 58 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,670 ♪ You're going to miss me when I'm gone 59 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:05,670 ♪ You're going to miss me by my hair You're going to miss me everywhere 60 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,200 ♪ You're going to miss me when I'm gone 61 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,390 ♪ I've got my ticket for the long way around 62 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,110 ♪ The one with the prettiest view 63 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,550 ♪ It's got mountains it's got rivers 64 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,630 ♪ It's got woods that'd give you shivers 65 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,670 ♪ But it sure would be prettier with you 66 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,990 - ♪ When I'm gone - When I'm gone 67 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,190 ♪ Oh, when I'm gone 68 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,640 ♪ You're going to miss me when I'm gone. ♪ 69 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,380 - Hello? - I'm in here. 70 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,350 Sorry I'm late. 71 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,030 Kelly's cousin keeps threatening to do my hair. 72 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,710 Oh, dear. Why? 73 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,230 Um... 74 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,280 because she's completely and utterly nuts. 75 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,150 Her name's Debs. 76 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,230 What's she like? 77 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,830 Well, we've talked about the shape of the solar system. 78 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,990 - It's shaped like an egg. - Of course it is. 79 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,670 We've talked about turquoise. 80 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,390 - Turquoise? - Yeah, turquoise. 81 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,390 - Debbie doesn't think it counts as a colour. - Oh. 82 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,310 We did a selfie. 83 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,790 She showed me a picture of the world's biggest dog. 84 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,670 - Oh. Was it big? - Yeah. Yeah. 85 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,390 In fairness to her, it was massive! 86 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,710 You all packed for your holiday? 87 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,350 Yeah, got some bits from the fridge that were going out of date. 88 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,190 - Oh, lovely. Thanks. - So, where do you want me to drop you off? 89 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,310 - Just the Pizza Express by the station, if that's all right? - Mm. 90 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,430 Oh, and that's the other thing. 91 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,950 Debbie keeps calling it a date. 92 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,500 - Calling what a date? - Cathy? 93 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,520 - (That's her.) - Cathy! 94 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,910 Yes, Debbie? 95 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:57,510 Sorry, Cathy, she just wants to do something about your hair. 96 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,270 - OK. - Just something to stop you looking so ugly. No offence. 97 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,710 None taken. 98 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,510 Cathy, could you make the fan colder? 99 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,990 Er... well, that's as cold as it goes, Maureen. 100 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,190 I want you to make the fan colder! I'm sticky! 101 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,680 Why don't you go and sit in the living room? It's cooler in there. 102 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,430 - She doesn't mean ugly, do you, Debs? - No, I do. - Thanks. 103 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,150 Take your cardigan off. 104 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,600 Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, you pervert! 105 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,350 Well, I-I think I'm fine, thanks. Thanks, Debbie. 106 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:36,550 I'll just leave my hair as it is in terms of colour, length, shape 107 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:40,070 and to use your word from earlier, straggliness. 108 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,600 OK. 109 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,260 Can you put that down, love? 110 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,510 - Dave got you it, didn't he? - Yeah. 111 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,670 It's a bit, um... I don't know how to put it. 112 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,670 Well, it's like a thing in a museum, isn't it? 113 00:05:55,720 --> 00:06:00,110 Everyone's like, "Oh, it would've been nice in the olden days," 114 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,630 but you'd only wear it now if you were, like, your age. No offence. 115 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:07,990 Or, like, a hippy girl with a great big bush. 116 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,000 Lovely. 117 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:17,350 - (Debs!) - (What?) - (You can't talk about bushes in front of old people. How many times?) 118 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,750 - Hi, Reg. Maureen. - You all right, Michael? 119 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,830 - Yeah. How are you? - Hm. 120 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,270 Oh, Michael, this is my cousin, Debbie. 121 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,590 Debbie, this is Michael. 122 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,030 Oh! Is he the one who's after Cathy? 123 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,670 - No. - Debbie! 124 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,030 No, no-no-no-no-no-no. Never. No. No. 125 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,830 No. Debs, this is Michael. 126 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,910 - I just meant that he's nice to her. - Aw! 127 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,750 He's just like one of the girls. 128 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:45,110 - Cathy would never go out with him, would she? - No. 129 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,150 You should've seen him when he was your age. 130 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,150 He was a pansy. 131 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,600 The girls wouldn't touch him. 132 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,600 That's sadly very, very true. 133 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,150 - You having a good morning? - Yeah. - Yeah? 134 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,310 Yeah, we've just been keeping Cathy entertained. 135 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,830 - Yeah, she mentioned that. - Wow! 136 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,870 Do a twirl! 137 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,950 You look lovely, Mum! 138 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,710 Go on, do a twirl. 139 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,750 - Ah! - Aw! 140 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,830 - When my mum goes on a date... - It's not a date. 141 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,830 She's, like, "Have I got everything? Got my condoms, charger?" 142 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,950 - Diaphragm. - Yeah. - Yeah, my mum's the same. 143 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,790 Condoms, charger, nip upstairs 144 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,710 to pop in the diaphragm and away she goes. 145 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,590 - Shall we? - Yeah. I'm just going to use your toilet, OK? 146 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,430 Toilet! 147 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,630 I love old people. Just call it a bog, like everyone else! 148 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,230 Yeah. 149 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,550 Maybe you should sit in the shade for a bit, Debbie. 150 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,230 Yeah, probably. 151 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,390 Seriously, though, Cathy, have you got some condoms? 152 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:48,910 Yeah, I've got hundreds. 153 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,280 Oh, great! Good luck! 154 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,280 Oh! 155 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,550 - You been? - No. Er... no. 156 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,910 Debbie seemed lovely. I don't know what your problem was. 157 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,550 She's going out with Ryan, 158 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,550 which apparently means she's the expert on dating. 159 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,670 She was going on and on about my lunch today. 160 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,790 She wanted to know all about the bloke I'm meeting. 161 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,950 Just... just the normal things, you know, like, what phone he's got, 162 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,300 what gym he goes to, exactly how his wife died. 163 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,390 Apparently, I'm lucky because she likes an older man, Debbie does. 164 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:35,710 And if she could have sex with any older man in the world, 165 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,790 the one man Debbie would have sex with is, 166 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,920 and this was a surprise -- Neil Kinnock. 167 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,870 - Neil Kinnock?! - Neil Kinnock. 168 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,270 - You going, then? - Yeah, yeah. 169 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,510 So, what's this about a date? 170 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,510 Oh, no, it's just Kelly being Kelly. 171 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,110 I'm just having lunch with a friend. 172 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,630 He's on one of the online forums. His wife died last year, so... 173 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,510 Ah, nice. 174 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,230 You might need me to come in, if you want, 175 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,710 - check out he's not a weirdo, or... - Don't be silly. 176 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,110 He seems fine. He's very caring. 177 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,710 Ah, OK. No, I'm sure he is, I'm sure he is very nice. 178 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,760 I'd like to meet him. 179 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,150 - Right, well... - Yeah, I'll, er... I'll see you downstairs. 180 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,270 - Yeah, great. - Yeah. 181 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,430 I broke her necklace, Debs! 182 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,110 Debs! I broke her necklace. 183 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,790 I broke Cathy's necklace! 184 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:42,270 Oh, my Lord, she's going to be furious, babe. I know these things. 185 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,630 I'm an observer. I observe life. It's a gift. 186 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,200 - Babe? - Yeah. 187 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,590 She'll go mental, babe. 188 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,430 She'll be screaming, crying, tearing her hair out. 189 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,880 Oh, God! She already hates me. 190 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,790 We went on and on about turquoise. 191 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,920 Well, we've got a point there, babe. It's not a colour. 192 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,150 All right, Pauline? 193 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,910 Lovely day, isn't it? 194 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,700 It's all right. 195 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,000 I've got some people coming to look at my car. 196 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,790 I used to drive a BMW. 197 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:49,950 Oh, nice. 198 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,670 My mate's dad's got one of them. 199 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,950 - Has he? - Yeah. 200 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,830 Yes, er... 201 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,510 Actually, interesting story. 202 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:00,990 When we were together, my husband took me to Brands Hatch. 203 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,350 We were in the suite. 204 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,190 Oh, yeah. I've had a look in there. It's nice, isn't it? 205 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,040 Yes. Yeah. 206 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,070 I've been to the Maldives. 207 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,430 - Oh, wow. - Yes. 208 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,510 I've never been anywhere like that. 209 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:17,200 Thought not. 210 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,990 Oh, hello, Pauline. I've got it in here. 211 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,310 - Oh, fantastic, yes. - Lovely day, isn't it? 212 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,750 Not bad. 213 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,310 I'd rather be on the Med. 214 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,670 - Yeah? - Yeah. 215 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,670 Have you ever been to the boot of Italy? 216 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:33,830 No. 217 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,950 The Okavango Delta? In Botswana? 218 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,310 No. 219 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,230 Oh, you should go. You'd love it there. 220 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,550 The locals are so friendly. 221 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,630 See what Derek did? 222 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,700 Oh. OK. 223 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,190 He can't get enough of me. 224 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,510 Well, the biscuits were delicious, so thanks for that. 225 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:59,720 Not at all, Cathy. Thanks for giving it back at last. 226 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,670 Looking forward to your holiday, Michael? 227 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,790 Bit of holiday romance! 228 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,590 Well, my daughters are there, 229 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,910 aren't they, so I won't be chasing any women. 230 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,560 No, I know. I'm only joking, mate. 231 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,760 It's you, isn't it? 232 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,600 Michael, the hoover's broken! 233 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,760 It's all right. I've fixed it. 234 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,630 He's just a bloke I've been chatting to online. 235 00:12:57,680 --> 00:13:00,750 His wife died last year, so... 236 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,230 It'll be nice. I'm looking forward to it. 237 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,430 Have you washed this? 238 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,310 Er, yes. 239 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,430 Mind if I give it a rinse? 240 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,080 No, go ahead. 241 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,950 I don't eat oranges in this country. 242 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,430 - No? - No. 243 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:20,630 Once you've been to Morocco, you'll never eat an orange here again. 244 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,390 - Oh, are they nice? - Are they nice? 245 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,830 Are the oranges in Morocco nice? Yes, Cathy. 246 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,590 The oranges in Morocco are very nice. 247 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,280 Oh! 248 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,870 I'm all right. 249 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,910 Well, sorry you had to come round. 250 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,750 If I'd known it was urgent, I'd have... 251 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,140 Derek's working all weekend. 252 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,460 Oh, that's annoying. 253 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,160 That's what Geoff used to say. 254 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,470 Oh. OK. 255 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:52,590 No, no. 256 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,150 Derek's not like that, love. 257 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,750 No, I know he's not. I know he's not. No. 258 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,430 I think I know Derek, Cathy, so... 259 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,310 He'd never cheat on you. 260 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,430 He's a big softie beneath it all. 261 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,950 OK, Cathy. No need to patronise me. I think I know what Derek's like. 262 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,310 He'd never do anything to hurt you. 263 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,630 I mean, you can just put that out of your mind. 264 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,550 I mean, he can be thoughtless sometimes, but he adores you. 265 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,800 He completely adores you. 266 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,950 Well, of course he does, Cathy. 267 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,870 What's not to like? 268 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,900 Can you smell something? 269 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,790 - Michael? - Yeah? 270 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,670 - Can you smell something? - Yeah. 271 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,470 Smells like something's burning. 272 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,620 Smells like something's burning, doesn't it? 273 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,270 Yeah. 274 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,020 Have you farted? 275 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,000 You'd know if I'd farted. 276 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,670 No there's definitely something, babe. 277 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,070 There's not, babe. I've got a perfect sense of smell. 278 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,910 - Have you? - Yeah. 279 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,990 Oh, sorry. I must've imagined it. 280 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,430 Maybe next door's having a bonfire. 281 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,310 Or a barbecue or something. 282 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,350 Please let's talk about this smell a bit more, Cathy. It's fascinating. 283 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,790 Must be a bonfire or something. 284 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,350 It's a funny time of year to have a bonfire. 285 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,310 - Is it a bonfire? - Think about it, babe. 286 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,630 Why would you have a bonfire this time of year? 287 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,070 Or a barbecue? 288 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,510 Could be a barbecue. 289 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,510 - No. - Reg! 290 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,660 It's a funny time of year to have a bonfire. 291 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,990 Unless it's a barbecue. 292 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,470 Well, I'd love to stick around and talk about whether a smell is 293 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,520 a bonfire or a barbecue, but my Uber's three minutes away. 294 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,390 Have a lovely time on your date. 295 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,190 Oh, it's not a date. It's, erm... 296 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,510 Well, whatever it is, it'll be fine. 297 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,110 I just have to breathe on a man and he falls in love with me. 298 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,880 OK. 299 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,550 And don't worry about... You know... 300 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,110 Oh, no, I'm not. 301 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,310 And just call any time if you're worried or need some reassurance. 302 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,590 I don't know why you're going on about it, Cathy. 303 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,840 Everything's absolutely fine. I'm having a wonderful weekend. 304 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,630 I'll probably have to walk back past the builders. 305 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,230 Pardon? 306 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,550 Sorry, I was talking to myself. 307 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,700 I'll probably have to walk back past the builders. Outside. 308 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,350 Is that a problem? 309 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,550 A problem? Oh, yeah. It's a big problem. 310 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,550 They'll be leering at me and wolf-whistling, 311 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,110 shouting their sexist comments. 312 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,710 Oh, right. 313 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,190 Does that happen a lot? 314 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,580 They can't get enough of me. 315 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,680 Hello there. 316 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,630 OK? 317 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,880 Yep. 318 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:14,790 Oh... 319 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,670 Could you, erm...? 320 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:20,910 I was wearing it round at Reg and Maureen's. 321 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,550 It's covered in cat hairs. 322 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,000 Oh, dear! 323 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,950 It's great that you're going, isn't it? 324 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,000 Yeah. Yeah. It's important that I get out. 325 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,590 I mean, that's actually, er, an idea. 326 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,070 I mean, if you want to get out more, 327 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,910 then maybe when I come back from Spain, erm, 328 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,230 we should go grab a coffee. 329 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,280 What's that? 330 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,470 I'm saying we could go for a coffee. 331 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,310 What, you and me? 332 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,870 Yeah. 333 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,790 Where would we go? 334 00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:01,190 Starbucks? Cafetiere at Sainsbury's. 335 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,680 Oh, no. We'd just have one here. It would be much cheaper. OK? 336 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,360 - Yep. - Oh, right, good. Well, I'd better get going. 337 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,360 Oh, I'm just going to, erm... I won't be a minute. 338 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,070 Everything OK? 339 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:37,350 Yeah, just shutting the window in case it... 340 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,670 In case it rains. Er, yeah. 341 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,510 Erm... Oh. Just going to... 342 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,710 That's better. 343 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,750 All right? 344 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,750 I don't want to go. 345 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,140 I don't want to go, Michael. 346 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,670 What an idiot. 347 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,590 I thought it'd be a good idea because it'd get me 348 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,830 out the house and stop me being lonely. 349 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:20,150 But I'm not lonely because there's not enough people around, am I? 350 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,710 No. You've got Kelly and Debbie taking care of that. 351 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,360 Yeah, yeah... 352 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,140 I just miss him. 353 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,950 I wish I still smoked. 354 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,870 No, sod it. I'm not going. It's silly. 355 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,990 I'll stay here. 356 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,870 You've brought 400 yoghurts round, haven't you? 357 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,720 They need eating. 358 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,510 And Jason's here, isn't he? And if he is gonna move to 359 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,230 Australia, I need to spend more quality time with him, so, no, 360 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,830 I'm gonna stay here with you and we're gonna... 361 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,750 we're gonna work through those yoghurts. 362 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,550 I think you should go. 363 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,750 Oh, no, don't, don't say that. 364 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,500 You might have a good time. He might be a lot of fun. 365 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,670 He's probably not, though, is he? 366 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,670 What else are you gonna do? 367 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,220 You're gonna sit in the garden and talk to Debbie? 368 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,640 This is the kind of thing Dave wanted you to do, isn't it? 369 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,720 Yeah. 370 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,150 The only thing that I can compare it to 371 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:50,230 is it's probably a bit like I felt when Abi left with the girls. 372 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,680 You know. 373 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,430 The last thing in the world you want to do is go out. 374 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,220 But you have to. 375 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:09,470 Brian -- that's his name, bad start -- he sent me 376 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,390 a really weird text. 377 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,040 - Did he? - Yeah, he wants a hug. 378 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,790 I don't want to give him a hug. 379 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,280 Imagine me going up to some smelly old bloke and giving him a hug! 380 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,720 Maybe he was nervous. 381 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,640 You're too nice. 382 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,460 Thanks, Michael. 383 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,580 What would I do without you? 384 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,680 Get a cab? 385 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,680 Come on. 386 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,950 Send me an e-mail, let me know how it goes? 387 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,940 Yeah, course I will. 388 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,960 Kelly broke your necklace. 389 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,120 I'm fine. 390 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,950 I'm fine. Sorry. 391 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,600 It's just... 392 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,510 I'm fine. 393 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,560 It's just a necklace. 394 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,720 Let's go. 395 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:32,430 Brian says he's going to wear a pink cravat so I know it's him. 396 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,030 Wow. He sounds like quite a catch. 397 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,470 I know! A pink cravat! 398 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,390 There's so many things wrong with that. 399 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,790 Sorry about Debbie. She's not like you and me, is she? 400 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,550 No... 401 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,070 Yeah, I was like that when I was 26. 402 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,910 And how old are you now? 403 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,950 27. 404 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,600 I can't believe what an idiot I was when I was 26... 405 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,870 Do you want to talk to me about something, love? 406 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,390 No... 407 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,150 Are you sure? 408 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,480 Yep. 409 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,190 Have you told her? 410 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,710 I will, I will. I'm just softening her up with small talk. 411 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,160 Cathy... 412 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,670 I broke your necklace. 413 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:38,070 The one Dave got you. The old lady one with the beads... 414 00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:40,270 It's OK, love. It's fine. It's just... 415 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,470 And I smashed your ugly frog thing. 416 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:43,830 My what? 417 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,280 Your ugly frog ornament thing. I did it two weeks ago. 418 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,470 I'm so sorry about your necklace. 419 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,870 I just get all stretchy with elastic things and I was... 420 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,270 Well, I was just stretching it just for fun, really, 421 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,790 just to see how far it'd go and you probably know this already 422 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,950 but you can actually stretch it really far and... 423 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,630 But I don't know why I'm making excuses. 424 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,390 And now I'm making it all about me and... I snapped it. 425 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:06,790 I'm sorry. 426 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,110 And I smashed your frog thing because I wanted to see 427 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,750 if it would bounce. 428 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,110 Did it? 429 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,510 No. 430 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,190 Why's that? 431 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,640 Because it was made of china? 432 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,600 Do you know how much that frog thing cost? 433 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,470 70p. 434 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,960 Oh, God... Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Cathy. 435 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,670 Don't worry, love. They're just things. 436 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,350 No, but it was from Dave. 437 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,070 He got me lots of stuff. Come here. 438 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,800 This is so nice of you. Thank you. 439 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,950 Sorry, Kelly, love, that's actually a bit tight. 440 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000 - Oh, sorry. - Yeah. 441 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,380 It's still fairly tight. 442 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,280 Thanks. 443 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,060 Can you let me go now, love? 444 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:07,760 Sorry! 445 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,830 Bye, then! Be back in a couple of hours. 446 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,350 Help yourself to some lunch. 447 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,350 There's some of that nice ham in the fridge. 448 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,700 Oh, thanks Cathy. Could you put this on for me? 449 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,510 50 quid each way. 450 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,070 Oh, yeah, of course. You got the, er... 451 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,190 Don't worry about that. 452 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:28,830 Erm... 453 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,870 Oh, don't be tight, Cathy. Come on, girl. 454 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,590 Have a nice time. 455 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,230 Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 456 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,680 Don't do anything I WOULD do. 457 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,110 Sorry. 458 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:51,350 You off? 459 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,670 Yeah. 460 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,110 Have a lovely time. 461 00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:59,630 Thanks, love. 462 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,030 Good luck, Cathy! 463 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,910 - Oh, thanks, Debbie. - Just be yourself. 464 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,990 - Thanks. - Or sort of like a better version? 465 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,190 Debs! She doesn't need your help. She's 59. 466 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:08,840 She's what?! 467 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,840 - You ready? - Yeah. 34206

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