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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:07,933 When did you start cooking, Terri? 2 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,873 Oh, it's just hamburger casserole. 3 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:12,070 Look out for bones. 4 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:20,085 I'm sorry. I, uh... 5 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:23,520 I can't hold it in any longer. Um... 6 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,922 Mom, Dad... 7 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,424 - Terri's pregnant. - What? 8 00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,987 - It's a boy. - Oh! 9 00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:34,499 Our first grandbaby! 10 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:37,035 - Oh, that's fantastic. - Thank you. 11 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:39,162 - Yeah. Sweetheart? Honey. - Yeah? 12 00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,673 I thought we weren't gonna tell anybody yet. 13 00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:44,403 Your secret is safe with me. I spent six months in the Hanoi Hilton. 14 00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,502 - Never said a word. Am I right, Doodle? - That's right, honey. 15 00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,706 Oh. 16 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:51,250 Yeah, we're gonna turn the craft room into the nursery. 17 00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:54,115 - Oh! Show me! - Okay. 18 00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:02,527 I'm really happy for you, Son. 19 00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:05,359 Tell you the truth, I'm terrified. 20 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:07,366 I... don't know how to do this. 21 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:11,131 No one does. Look at me. I was a mess. 22 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:14,765 I worked all the time, traveling. I was too strict. 23 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,605 Okay, you're not instilling me with a great deal of confidence here, Dad. 24 00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:23,877 I mean, I'm already up all night thinkin' about this. 25 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:27,852 That's my fault... uh, the confidence thing. 26 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,355 Boys learn that from their fathers. 27 00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:37,690 I started at Zuckerman and Zuckerman in college. I needed some extra cash. 28 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,461 I was saving up... for law school. 29 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:47,565 But I never went. I... never even applied. 30 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,904 Didn't have the balls. 31 00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:52,536 So I settled for insurance. I mean, who was I to become a lawyer? 32 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,207 You would've been a great one. You're the smartest guy I know. 33 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,341 It's not about brains, Son. 34 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:05,817 Being a good father... Hell, being a man is all about one thing. 35 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:08,588 Guts. 36 00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:12,062 And you've got about six months to figure out if you have any. 37 00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:18,030 Five, six, seven, eight. 38 00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:22,165 Step and step up. Just step and step. 39 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:26,042 And turn around and down and up. 40 00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:28,842 And hit, hit. Down. Hit. 41 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,940 Uh, c-could we stop, please? 42 00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,850 You don't have to ask every time for permission to go to the bathroom, Rachel. 43 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,445 - You can just go. - It's not my bladder. 44 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:40,254 - It's the choreography. - Okay, what's wrong with the choreography? 45 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,294 - It sucks. - It's completely unoriginal. 46 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,694 Aren't you guys gonna get shunned for talking to me? 47 00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,733 Sweetie, we're a team now. 48 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,598 But you gotta do something about Mr. Schue's dance routines. 49 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,264 We can't compete with Vocal Adrenaline with these steps. 50 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,773 You're a great vocal coach, Mr. Schue... 51 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,209 but... you're not a... trained choreographer. 52 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:02,442 That's what we need to be the best. 53 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,415 We need Dakota Stanley. 54 00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:08,420 He's the best show choir choreographer in the Midwest. He works with Vocal Adrenaline. 55 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,149 You can't take regionals without him. 56 00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,919 He was the understudy to the candelabra in Beauty and the Beast... 57 00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:14,653 on Broadway. 58 00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:17,696 Just because he understudied doesn't mean he ever performed. 59 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:21,393 Did you ever perform, Mr. Schuester? 60 00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,799 After high school. Did you even try? 61 00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:28,398 I wanted to. That was my dream, you know? 62 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:31,637 - I-I just never had... - The guts? 63 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,941 They say it takes more certainty than talent to be a star. 64 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:36,846 I mean, look at, um... look at John Stamos. 65 00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:43,619 I don't know. I guess I'm... also just nervous about being a dad. 66 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:47,148 I want my kid to be proud of me. I want to set a good example, you know? 67 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,861 I hope it's cool, me unloading on you like this. 68 00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:55,196 - l-l-I don't want there to be any awkwardness. - Oh, no. No. None at all. 69 00:03:55,268 --> 00:04:00,137 I mean, especially since we're... we're both in relationships now, both of us. 70 00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:02,299 - Right. - I'm in a relationship. You're in a relationship. 71 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,309 - Exactly. Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 72 00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:08,608 - H-How's it goin' with Ken? - Great. It's great. It's wonderful. 73 00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:12,947 I mean, you know, he's flawed, but he... he knows who he is, and that's... that's great... 74 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:17,217 and there really is nothing sexier in a man than... than confidence, you know? 75 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,685 - Huh? - Huh. 76 00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:29,996 Sandy. I thought you weren't allowed on campus. 77 00:04:30,069 --> 00:04:33,698 No, William. I'm not allowed within 50 feet of children. 78 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,798 Besides, Henri and I go way back. 79 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:39,038 I got him a job before we even had a shop class. 80 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:43,378 Uh, I told Figgins that you are going to have a school full of nancys... 81 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:46,213 unless you get some hot wood in those teenagers' hands. 82 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,380 - Here comes Henri. - Oh, shoot. 83 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,116 Terri was supposed to bring a cake. 84 00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:57,387 I'm back. 85 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:03,463 Henri had a little problem with over-the-counter cough medicine. 86 00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:09,397 He ended up cutting off his thumbs. It was a real tragedy. 87 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:13,536 I'll never hitchhike across Europe. 88 00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:15,672 That was a dream, man. 89 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:20,778 - Where's Terri? - Doing inventory. 90 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:23,253 I can't count higher than 30. 91 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,444 You know, this is nice. 92 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,246 Can't remember the last time I just hung out with the guys... 93 00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,446 really talked about our feelings. 94 00:05:55,521 --> 00:06:00,049 Wanna know what I'm feeling? I live at the YMCA. I only have one pair of long pants. 95 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:04,324 Oh, please. My life is a disaster with no creative outlet... 96 00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,991 other than writing my Desperate Housewives fan fiction. 97 00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,057 I'm afraid of my vacuum. 98 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:12,002 I know how you guys feel. I apparently don't know how to dance. 99 00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,335 I don't have thumbs. 100 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,803 Uh... 101 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,572 Sorry. 102 00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:24,446 �� For he's a jolly good fellow �� 103 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:28,578 �� For he's the jolly good fellow �� 104 00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:34,889 �� For he's the jolly good fellow �� 105 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:39,625 �� That nobody can deny ���� 106 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:44,034 Hey. That was pretty good. 107 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:47,198 �� This is how we do it �� 108 00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:48,968 Two weeks ago... 109 00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:50,702 I would have agreed that four grown men... 110 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:55,510 rehearsing a cappella hip-hop in my living room was embarrassing. 111 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,812 But bustin' out some white-hot new jack swing... 112 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,716 I'll tell you, I've never felt more confident. 113 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,449 �� This is how we do it It's Friday night �� 114 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,356 - Henri thought we should call our group... - Crescendudes. 115 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,519 - while Ken thought... - Testostertones. 116 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:12,792 was more manly, and then we heard a single word leap Howard's lips... 117 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:14,526 and we knew we had our name. 118 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,228 Acafellas. 119 00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,066 �� Yo, we made it so good ���� 120 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:22,505 I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille. 121 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,805 Sandy, we voted. 122 00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:26,708 When you're in the group, it's creepy. 123 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,441 Wai... I... 124 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:35,550 �� This is how we do it �� 125 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,920 - �� This is how we do it ���� - Will! 126 00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:41,516 If I don't get some sleep, I could miscarry. 127 00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:44,222 I'm sorry, Ter. Um... I'll be right in? 128 00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,825 I hope so. 129 00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:56,968 Being in a boy band did wonders for our love life. 130 00:07:57,043 --> 00:08:00,672 Seeing me feel so good about myself... 131 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:03,408 made my wife more attracted to me in every way. 132 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,418 It was amazing. I mean... 133 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,115 we started doin' it once a week. 134 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:13,352 It was like she was tryin' to make a twin. 135 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:23,029 - He's not coming. - What happened? 136 00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:25,730 They're my famous sugar cookies. 137 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,466 I bake them for the poor during Christmastime... 138 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,565 but I whipped up a special batch just for you. 139 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,907 I wanted to say how sorry I was for what I said. 140 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:35,914 Don't be. You were right. 141 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:38,712 You know, the truth is, Rachel, if you weren't so hard on me... 142 00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,752 I never would have had the guts to start Acafellas. 143 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:44,779 But... We need you, Mr. Schue. 144 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,121 You've missed six rehearsals in the past couple of weeks... 145 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,991 and when you're there, you're not really there. 146 00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,724 - Which is why I think you should go ahead and hire Montana. - Dakota. 147 00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:54,629 Whatever. 148 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,793 You know, I'll still be there... 149 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,530 to help you guys sing and stuff... 150 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:01,095 but, uh, I just don't have time for all of it anymore. 151 00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:07,403 Of course he doesn't want anything to do with us after you kicked him in the 'nads! 152 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,880 Then why did he thank me? 153 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,713 The goal is to win, and now that Mr. Schuester... 154 00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:15,777 has agreed to let us hire Dakota Stanley, we can. 155 00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:19,586 But he doesn't want us to. He just doesn't have the confidence to coach us anymore. 156 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:23,618 - Guys are real sensitive when it comes to this kind of stuff. - And that's my fault? 157 00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:27,530 You see anyone else in here with a plate of "I'm sorry" cookies? I don't. Just you. 158 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,796 I'm bored. 159 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:33,270 All those in favor of hiring Dakota Stanley... 160 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,483 Hey, wait up. Y-You can't do this to Mr. Schuester. 161 00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,546 What? Make him a hero? 162 00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:54,525 Once we hire Dakota and win nationals, he'll thank me for it. 163 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,586 - You heard Santana. It's all about winning. - Since when? 164 00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:00,427 Look, you have your popular clique and your football... 165 00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,228 and your clich� of a blonde girlfriend. 166 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,599 Glee is my one shot. If this doesn't work out... 167 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:07,036 then my whole high school life will be nothing but an embarrassment. 168 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,234 Wh-What's a "clich�"? Is that a bad thing? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 169 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:13,403 Is this one of those chick things where you're pissed about one thing... 170 00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:16,710 but you're just pretending like you're pissed about something else 'cause... 171 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,545 I don't know what you're talking about. 172 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,916 Well, for a while there, you were kind of all over me... 173 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,251 and now you just yell at me all the time. 174 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,586 Makes me think you're still upset about what happened in the auditorium. 175 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:28,855 I'm not. I've moved on and I'm focusing on my career now. 176 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,919 - D-Do you wanna talk about it? - No. 177 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:34,728 And neither do you. It's kind of ironic how you're Mr. Popular... 178 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,064 and I'm just this nobody that everybody makes fun of. 179 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,661 But I have enough confidence to say out loud... 180 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:42,207 that what happened between us in the auditorium was real. 181 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:46,835 You have feelings for me and you just don't have the guts to admit it. 182 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,179 We're hiring Dakota Stanley. 183 00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,579 Even if it means me quitting? 184 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,758 Yes. 185 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:17,407 It's a good start. You're sowing the seeds of destruction. 186 00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:21,139 - Mr. Schuester barely even shows up for rehearsals. - Oh, no, no, no, no. 187 00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:26,116 "Barely" will not cut it. I will not be satisfied until Glee Club is disbanded. 188 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:30,281 And what about this Dakota character? Any chance he actually helps? 189 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,916 They're soft. He'll eat them alive. 190 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:38,453 I give them 15 minutes before the first one quits or tries to commit suicide. 191 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,398 You know, ladies... 192 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:44,402 learned a lot in Special Forces. 193 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:48,099 I was on the strike team in Panama when we extracted Noriega. 194 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,506 We took out the shepherd... 195 00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,737 then we went after the sheep. 196 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:56,748 You need to go after these Glee Clubbers one by one. 197 00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:59,376 I want my full budget restored. 198 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,820 I need a fog machine. 199 00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:20,770 - Have you ever kissed anybody? - Yes... 200 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,104 if by "someone" you mean the tender crook of my elbow. 201 00:12:25,177 --> 00:12:28,010 No, I haven't. 202 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,911 But I want to. 203 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,954 Okay. Stop it right there, Mercedes. We are in Glee Club. 204 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:41,015 That means we are at the bottom of the social heap. 205 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,357 Special Ed kids will get more play than we will. 206 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:48,867 The only thing that gets me by is my knowledge that we are superior to all of them. 207 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,200 What are you wearing on our Operation Dakota Stanley field trip? 208 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:59,108 - Is there a dress code? - No, but every moment of your life... 209 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,408 is an opportunity for fashion. 210 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,710 We'll hit the mall after school. Meet me at lunch. 211 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,718 Okay. 212 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,651 You should totally scoop that. 213 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,916 I don't think I'm his type. 214 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,821 Oh, I think you are. 215 00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:15,884 Just follow our lead. We've got your back. 216 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:24,797 Poison! Yeah, Spider-Man and Freeze in full effect. 217 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,531 - You ready, Ken? - I'm ready. 218 00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:29,335 - You ready, Henri? - I'm ready, Will. 219 00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:31,672 - Are you? - Oh, yeah. Break it down. 220 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,769 - �� Yeah �� - �� Girl, I must �� 221 00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:38,340 - �� Warn you �� - �� I sense something strange in my mind �� 222 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,350 - �� The situation is �� - �� Serious �� 223 00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:47,654 �� Let's cure it 'cause we're running out of time �� 224 00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:53,124 �� Can't get her out of my head �� 225 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:56,600 - �� Miss her, kiss her, love her �� - �� Wrong move, you're dead �� 226 00:13:56,669 --> 00:14:01,936 - �� That girl is �� - �� Poison �� 227 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:05,238 - �� Whoa, whoa, oh, oh �� - �� Never trust a big butt and a smile �� 228 00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:07,575 - �� That girl is �� - �� Poison �� 229 00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,140 �� Poison, deadly, movin' it slow �� 230 00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,311 �� Lookin' for a mellow fellow like DeVoe �� 231 00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:16,980 �� Gettin' paid, laid, so better lay low �� 232 00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,751 �� Schemin' on the hots My end, the pro show �� 233 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,883 �� Low pro ho should be cut like an Afro �� 234 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,259 �� See what you're sayin' , huh She weighin' you but I know she's a loser �� 235 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,822 - �� How do you know �� - �� Me and the crew used to do her ���� 236 00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:37,465 Yea, Ken! Ken Tanaka! 237 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:42,242 In my own little way, I felt like I was finally... 238 00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,407 a star. 239 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,178 Thank you so much. 240 00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,947 Acafellas! 241 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,147 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Son! 242 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:53,783 This is huge! We just sold all 17 copies of your CD. 243 00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:55,986 I didn't even have to show any of them my bosoms. 244 00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,927 You know, honey? Go get yourself a Sanka. 245 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,023 - Yeah. - Okay. 246 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,159 Thanks, Mom. Good job. 247 00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:09,765 I bought one for my grandson... 248 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,640 so he can hear for himself how good his old man was. 249 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,009 - Ah. - Schue! 250 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,207 That was an amazing performance! 251 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:20,616 Oh, thank you. I mean... You know, we're just starting out, so... 252 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,348 Look, there's a P.T.A. meeting next Thursday night... 253 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,287 and I want Acafellas to be the main event. 254 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,723 I need those parents happy! 255 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:31,627 They found out we've been serving the children prison food. 256 00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,304 Great job, Son. 257 00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,805 - Well? - "Is it too soon to call Will Schuester... 258 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,535 "the next Michael Bubl�? 259 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,806 "The audience last Thursday at Benchwarmers Sports Bar didn't think so. 260 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,847 "And Ken Tanaka's smoky baritone... 261 00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:54,511 "is like a cool fog that sweeps over a deep ocean of emotional intensity. 262 00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,747 "A big thumbs-up to Henri St. Pierre... 263 00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:59,689 "who proves you don't need all 10 fingers to pluck a lady's heartstrings... 264 00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:02,352 "like a well-tuned, sexy harpsichord. 265 00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,225 Only Howard"... 266 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:09,131 Um, sorry, Howard. They didn't say anything about you. 267 00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:12,500 "Buckle up, Ohio. Are you ready for a new musical sensation? 268 00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:16,029 You'd better be, because here come the Acafellas." 269 00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:18,338 Yes! 270 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:22,244 Oh, congratulations on your dead-tree valentine, gentlemen. 271 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,214 By the way, I want in. 272 00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,774 Stop right there, William. 273 00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,480 I've got two words for you. 274 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,420 Josh Groban. 275 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:35,790 - He's coming to the P.T.A. event. - Who is Josh Groban? 276 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,694 Who is Josh Groban? Kill yourself! 277 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:44,093 He is an angel sent from heaven... 278 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,933 to deliver platinum records unto us. 279 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,908 And if he were here right now, I would club you to death with his Critics' Choice Award. 280 00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:56,039 - Why would he come to our show? - Because I invited him. 281 00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:59,209 Josh and I have become frequent pen pals... 282 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:01,718 since he accidentally friended me on MySpace. 283 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:04,483 And being my close personal confidant... 284 00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:06,956 he is only interested if I am in the group. 285 00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,595 No, Sandy. 286 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:14,257 We have standards. 287 00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:18,329 Okay. Fine. 288 00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:22,238 But just so you know, the blogs are all atwitter. 289 00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:26,266 They say he's looking for an opening act. 290 00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:38,115 Damn, Kurt. This car is fly. 291 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,953 My dad got it for my Sweet 16... 292 00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:42,823 after I swore to stop wearing form-fitting sweaters that stop at the knee. 293 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,193 What he doesn't know doesn't hurt him. 294 00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:48,859 Are we even sure they're rehearsing today? 295 00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:52,870 Vocal Adrenaline rehearses every day from 2:30 until midnight. 296 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,476 I'm just so nervous these Vocal Adrenaline kids are gonna laugh at us. 297 00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,206 They're so cool and popular... 298 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,475 and we look like we just stepped off the short bus. 299 00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:08,714 Those sweaty Nazis have just had more time to practice. We have more heart. 300 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,688 And you don't look touched in the head. That outfit is amazing. 301 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:17,626 So would you ever... you know, wanna hang out? 302 00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,630 Come over. It's Liza Minnelli week on AMC. 303 00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:22,496 Guys, that's Andrea Cohen. She won outstanding soloist... 304 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,968 last year in "Absolutely Tampastic." 305 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:28,473 You can't leave rehearsals for any reason. 306 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:31,202 That includes heat exhaustion or Crohn's disease. 307 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,744 Are you guys Vocal Adrenaline? We'd like to talk to Dakota Stanley... 308 00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:35,803 about choreographing for our Glee Club. 309 00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,542 Don't! 310 00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:40,550 He's a monster. 311 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,850 �� Hit the beat, take it to the verse now �� 312 00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:49,519 �� Yeah, yeah, yeah I love you, you, you �� 313 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:53,156 �� But I gotta stay true Ooh, ooh �� 314 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:56,759 �� My morals got me on my knees I'm beggin' please �� 315 00:18:56,835 --> 00:19:00,396 �� Stop playin' games �� 316 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,908 �� I don't know what you do but you do it well �� 317 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,776 - �� I'm under your spell �� - �� I've got you under my spell �� 318 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:10,280 - �� You got me begging you for mercy �� - �� Yeah, yeah, yeah �� 319 00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:13,750 - �� Why won't you release me �� - �� Yeah, yeah, yeah �� 320 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:18,051 �� Yes, I'm begging you for mercy �� 321 00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:21,581 - �� Why won't you release me �� - �� Mercy �� 322 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:26,290 �� I said release �� 323 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,925 - �� Me �� - �� Yeah, yeah, yeah �� 324 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,902 - �� You got me begging you for mercy �� - �� Yeah, yeah �� 325 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:35,030 - �� Why won't you release me �� - �� Yeah, yeah �� 326 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,734 �� Give me some mercy �� 327 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:40,369 �� I said release �� 328 00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,709 - �� Me �� - �� Yeah, yeah, yeah ���� 329 00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:47,217 Get off my stage! 330 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:53,322 Mr. Stanley, we're the McKinley High Glee Club! 331 00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,917 - No interviews! - We'd like you to choreograph for us. 332 00:19:55,994 --> 00:20:01,762 Look, my fee is $8,000 per number, plus a $10,000 bonus if you place in the top three. 333 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:06,270 And with Dakota Stanley at the wheel, you will place at the top three. Move it. 334 00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:12,900 How are we gonna get $8,000? 335 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:22,245 Kick that way, and back. 336 00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:24,846 - And kick out... - Hold on. 337 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,948 - Okay. One more. Let me... - Okay. 338 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,686 - Kick out... - Kick... 339 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,660 Right behind you. It's all right. 340 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,959 Hey, where is everybody? 341 00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:36,489 Uh, Sandy went to get Henri from wood shop, and... Oh. There's Howard. 342 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,935 - Hello? - I don't think I can be in the band anymore. 343 00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:43,839 - What? - Like doing inventory... 344 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,036 it was never my dream. 345 00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:51,806 Howard's out. 346 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:54,113 Oh, that... That's just great. What's he... 347 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,950 Hey, Emma. 348 00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,547 You didn't, uh, see me dancin' earlier, did you? 349 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,650 Oh, is that what that was? 350 00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:05,493 - Look, I have some bad news. - You're breakin' up with me. 351 00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:10,694 - What, here, in front of another dude? - No. Please stop talking. 352 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:13,795 Um, no. Look, I think the Acafellas pressure... 353 00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,806 has proven to be a little too much for Henri. 354 00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:19,435 - Really? Why? - Well, he just downed six bottles of cough syrup... 355 00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:21,274 which is a lot, even for him. 356 00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:23,940 Um, he's okay. Sandy's in the emergency room with him now... 357 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:27,782 but Figgins is insisting before he comes back... and can be around kids again... 358 00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:31,345 that he goes to rehab, so that's where he's going tomorrow morning. 359 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:35,484 That's just great. So Acafellas is officially doomed now. 360 00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:40,691 Do you know, uh... When I get stressed, I... I work out. 361 00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:42,427 You can probably tell. So I'm gonna, uh... 362 00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:47,234 down some Power Bars, knock off a few reps, come up with some solutions here. 363 00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:55,709 It was fun while it lasted. 364 00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:58,909 I don't think you should give up so easy, Will. 365 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,920 You know, they said Van Halen was dead after David Lee Roth quit... 366 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,718 but my worn-out single of"Right Now" says that they were wrong. 367 00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:17,235 You got a sec, Mr. Schue? 368 00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:21,068 - Yeah, of course. What's up? - I just wanted to tell you that I'm quitting Glee too. 369 00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:23,699 Uh... I didn't quit Glee. 370 00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:27,609 Well, you might as well have. It's nutty in there. 371 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:31,308 I try and talk sense into Rachel, but she's gone all chick batty. 372 00:22:31,383 --> 00:22:33,578 I've gotta be honest with you. 373 00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:36,280 It's hard bein' the quarterback when I get in the huddle... 374 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,085 and all the guys are calling me Deep Throat. 375 00:22:39,157 --> 00:22:41,455 Glee's bringing down my rep, man. 376 00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:45,554 Have the guts to stick with it a little bit longer. 377 00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:48,895 You are a gifted performer, Finn. 378 00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:53,495 You can't quit now. If you do, you're just gonna regret it for the rest of your life. 379 00:22:53,572 --> 00:22:55,472 Trust me. I know. 380 00:22:57,409 --> 00:22:59,104 It's just not fun anymore. 381 00:23:03,181 --> 00:23:05,649 Hey, Finn. Wait. 382 00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:08,613 There's something I wanna talk to you about. 383 00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:13,616 - Hey, Coach. - What do you want, Puckerman? 384 00:23:13,692 --> 00:23:16,718 I hear there's a vacancy in your a capella group. 385 00:23:16,795 --> 00:23:20,925 I wanna offer my services. 386 00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:24,457 I play guitar, and actually, I'm a really good singer. 387 00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:29,270 There are a lot of moms at your gigs, right? 388 00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:31,639 Well, here's the thing you should know about me. 389 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:35,840 I'm not like everybody else in this crappy cow town. I've got star potential... 390 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:40,681 and more specifically, I'm tired of wasting my time with high school girls. 391 00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:43,380 You're breaking up with me. Why? 392 00:23:43,455 --> 00:23:45,116 Your credit score is terrible. 393 00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:48,057 What I need, as a woman, is financial security. 394 00:23:48,126 --> 00:23:51,527 See, young girls will shoot you down and make you feel terrible about yourself. 395 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:54,690 But a cougar... never disappoints. 396 00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:58,167 Thanks, Mrs. H. 397 00:23:58,236 --> 00:24:01,831 - Is that a nipple ring? - Yeah. I'm kind of rock and roll. 398 00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:05,502 I need your help unclogging my bathtub drain. 399 00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,707 The proof was in a sexual pudding. 400 00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:13,307 My aboveground pool cleaning business went through the roof... 401 00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:15,216 once I embraced my gift for music... 402 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:18,484 and gave these fine ladies the romance they were missing. 403 00:24:18,557 --> 00:24:20,422 I also stopped beatin' people up so much. 404 00:24:20,492 --> 00:24:22,687 When do we start rehearsals? 405 00:24:24,429 --> 00:24:26,693 Now you listen to me, you little psychopath. 406 00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:31,099 My love life is hanging by a thread, and that thread is Acafellas. 407 00:24:31,169 --> 00:24:34,138 It drives my girlfriend nuts in the pants. 408 00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,538 So if you screw this up for me, I swear to you... 409 00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:38,599 I will stick my fist so far down your throat... 410 00:24:38,677 --> 00:24:40,770 you will taste my armpit hairs! 411 00:24:40,846 --> 00:24:45,249 Do I make myself clear? Good. 412 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,547 We rehearse Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8:00. 413 00:24:48,553 --> 00:24:50,487 Don't be late. 414 00:24:58,029 --> 00:24:59,690 Okay. Come on. 415 00:25:03,602 --> 00:25:06,070 Dude, my bowels have better moves than you. 416 00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:09,265 Guys, stop. You guys got the steps down. 417 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:12,435 You just... need to relax, okay? 418 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:15,537 Um... You guys play baseball, right? 419 00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:17,377 What does your coach tell you about hitting? 420 00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:21,408 - You charge the pitcher, bring the bat. - Okay. Um... 421 00:25:21,486 --> 00:25:23,545 I'm sure he also tells you to relax, right? 422 00:25:23,622 --> 00:25:27,581 'Cause hitting's all about the hips, right? Gotta loosen 'em up. 423 00:25:27,659 --> 00:25:29,593 Just swing that bat. All right. 424 00:25:29,661 --> 00:25:32,221 Pretend... Acafellas, Madison Square Garden. 425 00:25:32,297 --> 00:25:34,595 Here we are. All those beautiful ladies out there. 426 00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:37,260 Swing that big ol' bat. Bam! 427 00:25:37,335 --> 00:25:40,668 Hit some home runs. All right, guys? All right. 428 00:25:40,739 --> 00:25:43,003 Let's try from the top, okay? 429 00:25:43,074 --> 00:25:45,008 Here we go. 430 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,744 Five, six, seven, eight. 431 00:25:52,017 --> 00:25:53,507 Yeah. 432 00:25:59,457 --> 00:26:03,018 Oh, yeah. Yeah, get those hips into it. 433 00:26:03,094 --> 00:26:06,495 Ha-ha! That's it! That's it. All right! 434 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:09,193 Uh! 435 00:26:09,267 --> 00:26:14,000 - That baseball thing sure was good, Mr. Schue. Totally. - It was awesome. 436 00:26:17,208 --> 00:26:20,871 We need to have a gayvention. That's a gay intervention. 437 00:26:20,946 --> 00:26:24,347 It's K-Kurt. He's lady fabulous. 438 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:26,213 It's obvious you like him. 439 00:26:26,284 --> 00:26:30,186 We just don't want you to get hurt by feelings he can't... reciprocate. 440 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:32,985 Look, just because he wears nice clothes... 441 00:26:33,058 --> 00:26:35,356 doesn't mean he's on the down low. 442 00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:37,657 He wore a corset to second period today. 443 00:26:37,729 --> 00:26:40,562 You can do better, Mercedes. 444 00:26:40,632 --> 00:26:44,864 Really? Well, what if I can't? You know, there's not a lot of guys around here... 445 00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:47,029 knocking down my door for a date. 446 00:26:47,105 --> 00:26:49,505 Or yours, for that matter. 447 00:26:49,574 --> 00:26:54,375 Nobody notices us. Hello? We're in Glee Club. 448 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:57,574 And I'm tired of being lonely. Aren't you? 449 00:26:57,649 --> 00:27:00,948 But Kurt... Kurt is sweet to me... 450 00:27:01,019 --> 00:27:03,886 and he likes who I am and I like how I feel when I'm with him. 451 00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:07,254 And he's in our group. He understands what I'm going through. 452 00:27:07,325 --> 00:27:12,422 Now maybe that's not enough for you guys, but it's enough for me. 453 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:28,575 You know what, Sue? I gotta say I really misjudged you. 454 00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:31,946 Getting the Cheerios to help out with the Glee Club choreographer fund-raiser... 455 00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:34,645 is one of the nicest things I've ever seen. 456 00:27:34,719 --> 00:27:39,622 Well, Erma, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this Glee Club successful. 457 00:27:39,691 --> 00:27:42,159 - Come on! - Oh. Oh, excited. 458 00:27:42,227 --> 00:27:44,218 Oh, I love a car wash too, you know. 459 00:27:44,295 --> 00:27:47,628 When I was little, if I got all A's, my dad would let me wash his car... 460 00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:50,600 so I'd get my little toothbrush out, and I'd clean it all weekend long... 461 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:54,127 You know, the way you use your mental illness to help these kids is really inspiring. 462 00:27:54,205 --> 00:27:56,264 I'm shocked you're not married. 463 00:28:00,478 --> 00:28:02,639 Your rims are clean. 464 00:28:02,714 --> 00:28:04,614 We polished them, like, three times already. 465 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,344 Did you bring a change of clothes... 466 00:28:06,418 --> 00:28:08,386 because we're going straight to the sing-along Sound of Music. 467 00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:11,547 So, listen, Kurt, this is, like, the third time we've gone out. 468 00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:15,059 - Can't we just make it official? - Make what official? 469 00:28:15,126 --> 00:28:17,253 You know, that we're dating. 470 00:28:18,797 --> 00:28:21,231 I'm sorry, Mercedes, but I thought I made it very clear. 471 00:28:22,567 --> 00:28:24,592 I'm in love with someone else. 472 00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:33,808 Rachel? 473 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:36,369 Yes. For several years now. 474 00:28:59,337 --> 00:29:03,831 �� I bust the windows out your car �� 475 00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:08,140 �� And no, it didn't mend my broken heart �� 476 00:29:08,213 --> 00:29:12,775 �� I'll probably always have these ugly scars �� 477 00:29:12,851 --> 00:29:16,981 �� But right now I don't care about that part �� 478 00:29:17,055 --> 00:29:20,616 �� I bust the windows out your car, hey �� 479 00:29:20,692 --> 00:29:25,686 �� After I saw you looking right at her �� 480 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:29,996 �� I didn't wanna, but I took my turn �� 481 00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:31,729 �� I'm glad I did it �� 482 00:29:31,803 --> 00:29:36,240 �� 'Cause you had to learn �� 483 00:29:36,307 --> 00:29:40,835 �� I must admit it helped a little bit �� 484 00:29:40,912 --> 00:29:44,507 �� To think of how you felt when you saw it �� 485 00:29:44,582 --> 00:29:50,077 �� I didn't know that I had that much strength �� 486 00:29:50,155 --> 00:29:53,522 �� But I'm glad you see what happens when �� 487 00:29:53,591 --> 00:29:56,424 �� Hah, hah, hah, hah �� 488 00:29:56,494 --> 00:30:00,590 �� I bust the windows out your car �� 489 00:30:00,665 --> 00:30:04,499 �� You know I did it 'cause I left my mark �� 490 00:30:04,569 --> 00:30:09,063 �� Wrote my initials with a crowbar �� 491 00:30:09,140 --> 00:30:13,440 �� And then I drove off into the dark �� 492 00:30:13,511 --> 00:30:17,914 �� I bust the windows out your car, hey �� 493 00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:22,681 �� You should feel lucky that that's all I did �� 494 00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:26,747 - �� After five whole years of this bull �� - Shh... 495 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:30,921 �� Gave you all of me and you played with it �� 496 00:30:30,995 --> 00:30:35,159 �� I bust the windows out your car ���� 497 00:30:35,233 --> 00:30:39,567 You busted my window. How could you do that? You busted my window! 498 00:30:40,605 --> 00:30:43,631 Well, you busted my heart. Hmm! 499 00:30:58,456 --> 00:31:01,448 Okay. Please examine your personalized menus. 500 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:04,825 This is what you're gonna be eating for the next six months. 501 00:31:04,896 --> 00:31:07,660 - Um, mine just says "coffee." - Mm-hmm. 502 00:31:07,732 --> 00:31:11,133 - What's "smelt"? - A pungent, low carb freshwater fish. 503 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:14,694 Okay, let's start with today's business. Artie, you're cut. You're not trying hard enough. 504 00:31:14,772 --> 00:31:16,797 - At what? - At walking. 505 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:18,968 Can't be wheeling you around during every number. 506 00:31:19,043 --> 00:31:22,410 Throws off the whole dynamic, and it's depressing. 507 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,471 - So you're kicking him out? - Mm-hmm. 508 00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:28,110 Also you. You's gotta go, F.A. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. 509 00:31:28,186 --> 00:31:30,916 You can't kick people out of Glee Club because you don't like the way they look. 510 00:31:30,989 --> 00:31:34,015 Uh, why don't you shut your face gash and stay away from aerosol cans... 511 00:31:34,092 --> 00:31:36,322 because you could burst into flames at any second. 512 00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:39,158 You three. You're great. You're perfect. Seriously, don't change a thing. 513 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:41,130 Uh, you... Uh. Nose job. 514 00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:43,997 - Now just hold on a second... - What? What was that, Frankenteen? 515 00:31:44,068 --> 00:31:46,593 Why don't you, uh, wipe that dopey look off your face... 516 00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:49,367 and get some lotion for those knuckles you've been draggin' on the ground? 517 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,271 - What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me? 518 00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:55,369 What's wrong with me is that you're freakishly tall! I feel like a woodland creature! 519 00:31:57,048 --> 00:31:59,608 Am I hurting your feelings? Did I say something wrong? 520 00:31:59,684 --> 00:32:04,383 Because I thought you wanted somebody who respected you enough to tell you the truth. 521 00:32:04,455 --> 00:32:07,982 But maybe you don't have the confidence to hear it. Hmm? 522 00:32:08,059 --> 00:32:11,256 Maybe you need somebody who's going to lie to you... 523 00:32:11,329 --> 00:32:13,627 and tell you things like, "You got what it takes." 524 00:32:13,698 --> 00:32:16,997 But you know what? As far as I can see, you don't. 525 00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:20,504 So, why don't you just take a little second, take a breather... 526 00:32:20,571 --> 00:32:24,507 and ask yourself, "Do I wanna be a winner"... 527 00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:26,873 "or not?" 528 00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:29,880 Screw this. I quit. 529 00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:32,246 - Me t-t-too. - Let's roll, Artie. 530 00:32:32,317 --> 00:32:36,310 No. Great. Great! Separate the wheat from the chaff. That's perfect! 531 00:32:36,387 --> 00:32:37,752 Wait. 532 00:32:40,658 --> 00:32:42,717 Barbra Streisand. 533 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:44,853 When Barbra was a young ing�nue, everyone told her... 534 00:32:44,929 --> 00:32:47,420 in order to be a star, she'd have to get a nose job. 535 00:32:47,498 --> 00:32:50,399 - Thankfully, she refused. - Where's this going, Yentl? 536 00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:52,732 Where it's going is that... 537 00:32:53,905 --> 00:32:55,736 we don't need you. 538 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:59,903 Let's face it. We're never gonna be as good of dancers as Vocal Adrenaline. 539 00:33:01,245 --> 00:33:04,578 We're gonna win because... we're different. 540 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:07,277 And that's what makes us special. 541 00:33:07,352 --> 00:33:10,287 They told J. Lo her booty was too big. 542 00:33:10,355 --> 00:33:13,882 Curtis Mayfield was more successful after he became paralyzed. 543 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:17,894 - Jim Abbott. - I have no idea who that is. 544 00:33:17,962 --> 00:33:21,864 He was a one-armed pitcher for the Yankees. Pitched a no-hitter. 545 00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:26,461 Okay, so... Um, misfits and spaz-heads and cripples can make it too. 546 00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:28,198 That's great. What's your point? 547 00:33:28,272 --> 00:33:30,832 Our point is that... 548 00:33:30,908 --> 00:33:33,399 you're fired. 549 00:33:33,478 --> 00:33:35,708 And I'm taller than you. 550 00:33:35,780 --> 00:33:39,409 Uh... Barely. 551 00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:44,120 Wait. We have to wear mascara? 552 00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:45,883 Sandy says it makes our eyes pop. 553 00:33:45,957 --> 00:33:49,154 Okay. 554 00:33:49,227 --> 00:33:51,024 - Okay. - There's a lot of moms out there, right? 555 00:33:51,095 --> 00:33:52,824 Guys, don't worry about it. 556 00:33:52,897 --> 00:33:55,229 Just get in the zone, all right? This is gonna be fun. 557 00:33:55,299 --> 00:33:59,099 Believe me. You're gonna remember this night for the rest of your lives. 558 00:33:59,170 --> 00:34:01,730 - Mr. Schue? - I know. You're nervous. 559 00:34:01,806 --> 00:34:04,070 No, that isn't what I wanted to tell you. 560 00:34:04,142 --> 00:34:08,078 It's just... thanks... for believing in me. 561 00:34:10,681 --> 00:34:14,310 He's here! He's here! Josh Groban is here. 562 00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:18,151 Front row, big brown eyes, cute as a buttermilk biscuit. I barfed. 563 00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:20,986 - He actually showed up? I can't believe it. - Gentlemen. 564 00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:24,392 Forget every experience you have ever had in your drab little lives. 565 00:34:24,462 --> 00:34:28,330 This is the most important thing you will ever do. 566 00:34:28,399 --> 00:34:30,458 Places! 567 00:34:32,136 --> 00:34:34,331 - Ah, ticktock, you don't stop. - Stop. 568 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:36,669 - To the ah, ticktock, you don't stop. - Stop. 569 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:38,709 To the ah, ticktock, you don't stop. 570 00:34:38,776 --> 00:34:42,177 - To the ah, ticktock... - I know you're not gonna sing that song. 571 00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:45,977 To the ah, ticktock, you don't stop. 572 00:34:46,050 --> 00:34:48,041 To the ah, ticktock, you don't stop. 573 00:34:48,119 --> 00:34:51,111 - �� To the ah, ticktock �� - I know you're not gonna sing that song. 574 00:34:51,189 --> 00:34:53,282 �� Come inside, take off your coat �� 575 00:34:53,357 --> 00:34:55,222 �� I'll make you feel at home �� 576 00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:57,921 �� Now let's pour a glass of wine �� 577 00:34:57,995 --> 00:35:00,463 �� 'Cause now we're all alone �� 578 00:35:00,531 --> 00:35:02,328 �� I've been waiting all night �� 579 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,733 �� So just let me hold you close to me �� 580 00:35:05,803 --> 00:35:07,828 �� 'Cause I've been dyin' for you, girl �� 581 00:35:07,905 --> 00:35:10,499 �� To make love to me �� 582 00:35:10,575 --> 00:35:14,705 �� I wanna sex you up �� 583 00:35:14,779 --> 00:35:16,679 To the ah, ticktock, you don't stop. 584 00:35:16,747 --> 00:35:19,181 To the ah, ticktock, you don't stop. 585 00:35:19,250 --> 00:35:23,687 �� Let me take off all your clothes �� 586 00:35:23,754 --> 00:35:28,748 �� Disconnect the phone so nobody knows, yeah �� 587 00:35:28,826 --> 00:35:33,991 �� Let me light a candle so that we can make it better �� 588 00:35:34,065 --> 00:35:39,025 �� Makin' love until we drown, yeah �� 589 00:35:39,103 --> 00:35:44,541 �� Girl, you make me feel real good �� 590 00:35:44,609 --> 00:35:48,409 �� We can do it till we both wake up �� 591 00:35:48,479 --> 00:35:53,576 �� Girl, you know I'm hooked on you �� 592 00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:59,612 �� And this is what I'll do �� 593 00:35:59,690 --> 00:36:03,148 �� I wanna sex you up ���� 594 00:36:03,227 --> 00:36:04,888 Yeah! 595 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:27,413 I would like to just go into the recording studio and lay some of those tracks down. 596 00:36:27,485 --> 00:36:32,616 And of course I would love to play some bigger venues... Wembley Stadium, Red Rocks. 597 00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:34,954 Hey, guys. 598 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:39,087 I'm Josh Groban. This is my bodyguard, Flex. 599 00:36:39,163 --> 00:36:42,826 We were in town. I was inducting Run-D.M.C. into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night... 600 00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:45,164 so I thought I'd stop by and say hello. 601 00:36:45,236 --> 00:36:50,003 - So which one of you is, uh, Sandy? - Ooh! 602 00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:53,566 Mr. Groban, we are so honored that you came here today. 603 00:36:53,644 --> 00:36:56,340 - I came here to tell you... - Yes, sir. 604 00:36:56,414 --> 00:36:58,678 Stop e-mailing me. 605 00:36:58,749 --> 00:37:02,685 This is a restraining order. Stop sending me nude photos. Stop calling me! 606 00:37:02,753 --> 00:37:06,154 I don't know how you got my number, how you got my number again after I changed it... 607 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:09,751 but I don't want any more of your edible gift baskets or locks of your hair. 608 00:37:09,827 --> 00:37:12,523 And I don't wanna read any more of those sonnets you wrote for me. 609 00:37:12,597 --> 00:37:15,623 - That stuff got crazy, dude. - Are we clear? 610 00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:18,032 - Mmm. - Thank you, gentlemen. 611 00:37:18,102 --> 00:37:21,196 And, by the way, great show. 612 00:37:21,272 --> 00:37:24,833 I mean, like... explosive. 613 00:37:24,909 --> 00:37:27,377 Thanks. Sorry. 614 00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:42,923 I'm sorry, Will. 615 00:37:42,994 --> 00:37:45,121 I... I could have been more supportive. 616 00:37:48,165 --> 00:37:49,894 You guys are actually pretty good. 617 00:37:51,869 --> 00:37:53,530 Honey, you were good. 618 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:56,903 You were really good. 619 00:37:56,974 --> 00:38:00,501 - Yeah? - Yeah. 620 00:38:06,651 --> 00:38:09,313 Come here. 621 00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:11,150 Don't bother. She's already pregnant. 622 00:38:11,222 --> 00:38:14,157 Hey, kids. Have you seen Doodle? 623 00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:19,390 Now, you might be thinking, why would a pop star like me come over here and talk to you? 624 00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:24,196 But let me tell you something. Throngs of screaming teenagers don't do it for Josh Groban. 625 00:38:24,268 --> 00:38:26,930 No. Josh Groban loves a blowsy alcoholic. 626 00:38:27,004 --> 00:38:28,665 Oh. Wow. 627 00:38:28,739 --> 00:38:31,264 You'll have to forgive me. I'm a little bit drunk... 628 00:38:31,342 --> 00:38:34,038 and I'm afraid I'm not making good choices right now. 629 00:38:35,279 --> 00:38:37,474 Maybe she slipped and hit her head again. 630 00:38:40,651 --> 00:38:44,052 You guys kicked some serious tail up there tonight. 631 00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:47,284 - Sorry about the whole Josh Groban thing. - No, that's all right. 632 00:38:47,358 --> 00:38:49,053 How are the other guys takin' it? 633 00:38:49,126 --> 00:38:51,560 That Ryerson guy cried himself to sleep in Figgins's arms... 634 00:38:51,629 --> 00:38:54,564 and Ken Tanaka is raiding the nacho bar. 635 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:58,931 What about you? You okay? 636 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:03,099 You know what, Dad? I am. 637 00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:05,506 I mean, this was all a dream come true, but... 638 00:39:07,044 --> 00:39:10,275 I'm a teacher, and a really good one. 639 00:39:11,415 --> 00:39:13,849 - That's enough for me. - I know. 640 00:39:13,918 --> 00:39:15,818 I saw the way your students look at you. 641 00:39:17,221 --> 00:39:18,882 You inspire people. 642 00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:23,791 - Inspired me. - What do you mean? 643 00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:25,590 I'm going to law school. 644 00:39:25,663 --> 00:39:30,532 Night classes for now, until I get all of my prerequisites. 645 00:39:30,601 --> 00:39:32,262 But I registered yesterday. 646 00:39:32,336 --> 00:39:36,329 You made me realize it's never too late to grow a pair and go after your dream. 647 00:39:36,407 --> 00:39:39,604 That's amazing. That's so amazing. 648 00:39:44,749 --> 00:39:47,411 Hey, Kurt. 649 00:39:47,485 --> 00:39:52,923 I just wanted to say, I'm really sorry I did that to your car. 650 00:39:52,990 --> 00:39:54,651 I'll pay for it to get fixed. 651 00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:57,592 It's okay. My dad took my baby away... 652 00:39:57,661 --> 00:40:00,960 after he found my tiara collection in my hope chest. 653 00:40:01,031 --> 00:40:04,694 And I just wanted to say, I hope it works out between you and Rachel... 654 00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:08,865 you'll have really cute, loud babies. 655 00:40:11,776 --> 00:40:13,710 Mercedes. 656 00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:18,812 I lied to you. 657 00:40:18,883 --> 00:40:22,751 I-I don't like Rachel. 658 00:40:25,723 --> 00:40:27,384 I'm gay. 659 00:40:28,993 --> 00:40:30,654 Why didn't you just tell me? 660 00:40:30,728 --> 00:40:33,959 Because I've never told anyone before. 661 00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:37,294 You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, Kurt. 662 00:40:37,368 --> 00:40:42,806 You should just tell people, especially the kids in Glee. 663 00:40:42,873 --> 00:40:47,936 The whole point of the club is about expressing what's really inside you. 664 00:40:48,012 --> 00:40:49,877 Remember? 665 00:40:49,947 --> 00:40:54,907 I can't. I'm just not that confident, I guess. 666 00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,154 Let me get this straight. 667 00:41:05,229 --> 00:41:07,663 The Glee Club got rid of Dakota Stanley... 668 00:41:07,731 --> 00:41:09,631 Mr. Schuester's back... 669 00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:13,261 and they're busy at work on a new number, more confident than ever. 670 00:41:13,337 --> 00:41:16,602 And down, clap, and up, clap, clap. 671 00:41:16,674 --> 00:41:19,370 Down, clap, and up, clap, clap. 672 00:41:19,443 --> 00:41:21,673 This is what we call a total disaster, ladies. 673 00:41:21,745 --> 00:41:24,043 I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits. 674 00:41:27,384 --> 00:41:29,784 That's the smell of failure... 675 00:41:29,854 --> 00:41:32,084 and it's stinking up my office. 676 00:41:35,693 --> 00:41:39,220 I'm revoking your tanning privileges for the rest of the semester. 677 00:41:39,296 --> 00:41:41,264 No! 678 00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:44,691 No! 679 00:41:47,771 --> 00:41:51,571 - Miss Sylvester, I wanna thank you. - For what? 680 00:41:51,642 --> 00:41:55,134 For teaching me a valuable life lesson. 681 00:41:55,212 --> 00:41:57,510 When you really believe in yourself... 682 00:41:57,581 --> 00:41:59,515 you don't have to bring other people down. 683 00:42:05,956 --> 00:42:08,948 Uh, uh, step-ball-change and head. 684 00:42:09,026 --> 00:42:12,587 Step-ball-change and head. Low and high. 685 00:42:12,663 --> 00:42:15,291 Low and high. 686 00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:18,301 - Uh. What do you guys think? - Mr. Schuester? 687 00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:20,803 Yes, Rachel? 688 00:42:22,139 --> 00:42:25,006 It was really good. 689 00:42:26,844 --> 00:42:28,835 Thank you. Thank you. 690 00:42:28,913 --> 00:42:31,108 Thank you. Okay. From the top!58911

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