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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:18,370 What's this? Metal detecting, are you? 2 00:00:18,420 --> 00:00:20,330 Oh... 3 00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:21,490 Pardon? 4 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,020 Metal detecting? 5 00:00:24,860 --> 00:00:25,970 That's right. 6 00:00:26,020 --> 00:00:27,850 Found anything? 7 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:29,010 Bits and bobs. 8 00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:31,530 Oh, good luck. Maybe you'll strike gold. 9 00:00:31,580 --> 00:00:33,740 Yes. See ya. 10 00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:44,780 Hello. 11 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,140 Looking for treasure? 12 00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,210 Something like that. 13 00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:51,450 What have you found? 14 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,130 Oh, bits and pieces. 15 00:00:53,180 --> 00:00:54,170 No gold? 16 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,370 Nope. 17 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:56,410 Well, fingers crossed. 18 00:00:56,460 --> 00:00:57,980 Yeah. See ya. 19 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:02,690 All right. 20 00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:06,170 This is a problem. It's a public footpath, there's bloody ramblers 21 00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:08,770 coming by asking the same questions all the time. 22 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,100 Oh, here come some more. 23 00:01:11,980 --> 00:01:16,730 Ah, metal detectors. We had a metal detector once, didn't we, Rosemary? 24 00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:18,570 That's still in the garage. 25 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,170 Is that so? 26 00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:22,650 - Have you found any gold? - Ah, Jesus. 27 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,490 - Pardon? - No, no, no gold. No, no. 28 00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:28,690 - Fingers crossed. - Fingers crossed, yeah. 29 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:32,050 Tell me, how many more of you are coming through? 30 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:35,580 Of us? About 50 today, I think. 31 00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:44,370 Call it a day? 32 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,660 Probably best. 33 00:01:55,860 --> 00:02:00,250 ♪ Will you search through the lonely earth for me? 34 00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:05,290 ♪ Climb through the briar and bramble 35 00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:08,090 ♪ I'll be your treasure... ♪ 36 00:02:08,140 --> 00:02:09,930 Mate, that was a good couple of hours. 37 00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:12,090 Yeah. Were you getting good stuff? 38 00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:14,770 Me, too... 39 00:02:14,820 --> 00:02:16,890 .. bloody ramblers notwithstanding. 40 00:02:16,940 --> 00:02:20,690 It's all Roman. Nothing spectacular, but five of these little bronzes. 41 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,650 And that's part of something, not sure what. 42 00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:26,050 Same here. Roman grots. 43 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:27,540 Four or five of 'em. 44 00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:31,410 How many times have we searched this field 45 00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:33,650 and only now it starts throwing up its treasure? 46 00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:38,290 Six weeks' time, this'll be solar panels as far as the eye can see. 47 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:40,220 Less than six weeks. 48 00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:43,490 Doesn't exactly make your heart sing, does it? 49 00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:46,730 Oh, well. Sic biscuitus deteriatum. 50 00:02:46,780 --> 00:02:50,130 See University Challenge last night? 51 00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:51,970 Yeah. 52 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:56,050 What three letter generic name is given to the bird family Paridae? 53 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,130 Bzz! 54 00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:58,970 - Balliol, Potts. - Tit. 55 00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:01,530 Tit is correct, yes. 56 00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:04,290 - Classic. - Classic. 57 00:03:04,340 --> 00:03:05,820 Hello there! 58 00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:09,020 Speaking of tits... 59 00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:13,690 Heeeeeello there. 60 00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:15,410 What are you doing here? 61 00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:17,890 Oh, just... passing by. 62 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:19,530 You're always just passing by. 63 00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:21,860 You must come miles out of your way to pass by. 64 00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:25,050 It must seem like that, yes. 65 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:29,090 No, we haven't seen you since your amazing find, 66 00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:31,370 your golden astel. 67 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,450 Wanted to congratulate you, actually. 68 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,890 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Really fantastic. 69 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,370 How's it feel? 70 00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:42,610 What, to have a piece with my name underneath it in the British Museum? 71 00:03:42,660 --> 00:03:45,220 Feels good. 72 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:50,410 I imagine it does. Well, congratulations. 73 00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:51,490 Here's to you. 74 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:52,890 Mrs Robinson. 75 00:03:52,940 --> 00:03:54,370 - Pardon? - Nothing. 76 00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:56,730 Is that all you came to say? 77 00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:58,570 That and to... 78 00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:02,420 .. wave a white flag, so to speak. 79 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:07,130 Don't you think it's time we put our differences behind us? 80 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,050 Maybe pool resources? 81 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,450 What resources? 82 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,570 Well, our permissions. 83 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:15,010 We've got more than enough land to detect on and... 84 00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:17,930 well, this farm here, it's... 85 00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:19,450 far too big for just the two of you. 86 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,370 If you've got more than enough land, why do you want to come here? 87 00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:24,370 - Well sometimes it's good... - Duh-duh-duh-duh. 88 00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:25,900 I wasn't talking to you, Paul. 89 00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:30,650 More choice. Different topography. 90 00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:33,530 - You don't have any permissions, do you? - We do. 91 00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:34,770 Oh, yeah. Where? 92 00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:37,370 Well, I'm not going to tell you, am I? 93 00:04:37,420 --> 00:04:38,970 Unless you agree to share. 94 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,580 Oh! Right. 95 00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:46,330 We have some prime locations. 96 00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:47,540 Oh, do you? 97 00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:52,980 I know what you're doing. 98 00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:55,170 What am I doing? 99 00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:56,530 You're doing a Jimmy waffle-on. 100 00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:59,210 No, I'm not. No, I've just got an itchy chin, that's all. 101 00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:01,730 Ooh, yeah, I've got a bit of an itchy chin as well. 102 00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:03,530 Tell us about these permissions. 103 00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:05,090 And now you're both doing it. 104 00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:07,180 You're both doing a Jimmy waffle-on. 105 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:09,730 Aren't they? 106 00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:11,130 - Chinny reckon? Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 107 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,730 - Mm-hmm. - No, we're not. 108 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:16,050 No, we've both just got itchy chins, that's all. 109 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:19,180 Really? Pathetic. 110 00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:21,580 Come on, Paul. 111 00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:31,860 Spanners. 112 00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:55,140 Kate, are you here? 113 00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,290 Kate, can I have a word? 114 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:00,380 Just a minute! 115 00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:08,170 Hello, Dad. Sorry, I'm running late again. 116 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:10,050 Now, Kate, we need to have a chat. 117 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,570 Dad, can we maybe take this down, this poster? 118 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:14,930 What, the tennis lady? Why? 119 00:06:14,980 --> 00:06:16,690 Don't you think it's a bit tacky? 120 00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:18,770 Tacky? No. 121 00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:22,010 And a bit... well, degrading to women. 122 00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:24,250 Kate, she's scratching her bottom. 123 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,740 Dad, she's got no knickers on. 124 00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:29,530 Hasn't she? 125 00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:31,860 I'm late. I'll talk to you later. 126 00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:36,570 Oh, Dad? 127 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:39,730 - Mm? - I think there's a squirrel in the flat. 128 00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:41,220 See ya. 129 00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:03,460 Huh! 130 00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:06,220 Haa! 131 00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,660 Hoo-yoo! 132 00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:29,020 Aargh! 133 00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:41,650 Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh! 134 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,250 Ooh, bloody hell! 135 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,340 Ooh, bloody, bloody hell! 136 00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:48,250 It was terrible. 137 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:52,090 I was going from room to room with a saucepan and a mop handle, 138 00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:54,690 poking under furniture, shaking curtains. 139 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:57,250 It took me an hour and a half to search the flat. 140 00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,330 And no squirrel? 141 00:07:58,380 --> 00:07:59,530 I didn't find one. 142 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,380 She was winding you up. 143 00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:04,650 You think she was winding me up? 144 00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,020 Sounds like a wind-up. 145 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:12,170 Well, that's what it's like -- chaos. 146 00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:14,290 And she never makes a plan and sticks to it, 147 00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:15,650 so I never know if she's in. 148 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:16,770 So where does that leave us 149 00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:19,050 if you can't come and stay with me on my boat? 150 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:22,130 I know. I've been looking into remedies for seasickness. 151 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:25,860 So have I. I think you should try hypnotherapy. 152 00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:30,490 I've always tried to steer clear of the mystical. 153 00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:31,970 It's not mystical. 154 00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:34,050 It is a bit mystical. 155 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:38,330 I mean, I'm not afraid of boats, it's the movement. 156 00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:40,730 Hypnotists can't stop the boat from moving. 157 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:43,250 Well, maybe he CAN... in your head. 158 00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:46,780 Let me get you an appointment. 159 00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:53,170 Well... take a brave man to go poking around in here. 160 00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:56,420 Who knows what might be unleashed? 161 00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:09,180 I don't understand what we're doing here. 162 00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:13,650 Tim, there's nothing down here. 163 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,260 Let's give it another hour. 164 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,450 Tim! 165 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:22,970 Tim, I think you better come and see this. 166 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,210 Where's this? 167 00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:25,540 Just over here. 168 00:09:38,420 --> 00:09:39,660 Amazing. 169 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,090 You see the flagstones protecting it? 170 00:09:43,140 --> 00:09:45,330 It's as if it was preserved on purpose, a layer of sand 171 00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:47,850 - and then these stones on top. - Do we know how far it extends? 172 00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:49,970 Well, at least another four foot in that direction, 173 00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:52,090 - but maybe even further. - Cover it up. 174 00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,610 Huh? 175 00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,860 Get a tarp or something. 176 00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:58,980 Cover it up. 177 00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:03,660 Hello! 178 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,890 Oh, back there. How are you? 179 00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:11,580 Good to see you. 180 00:10:17,540 --> 00:10:19,690 It's all there, Becks, it has to be. 181 00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:23,240 I reckon the stones were put down deliberately to protect the mosaic. 182 00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,620 I can see you. 183 00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,450 I think the whole floor might be complete. 184 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,170 Honestly, I took off the edge stone, the mosaic was right there. 185 00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,940 It's so beautiful, look. 186 00:10:58,940 --> 00:10:59,970 Oh, weird. 187 00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:01,250 What? 188 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:03,210 I took at least five photos, they're not here. 189 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:05,090 Are you sure you saved them? 190 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,610 Balls! Where are they? 191 00:11:06,660 --> 00:11:09,450 Oh, it doesn't matter, I'll take some more when we lift the stones. 192 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,410 That's brilliant. Congratulations. 193 00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:12,930 Thank you. And you know what? 194 00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:15,410 I saw, at last, some enthusiasm in Tim. 195 00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:18,810 Usually nothing stirs him, but he got quite emotional. 196 00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:21,410 Well, good, it sounds like it's working out. 197 00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:25,660 Yeah. Yeah, I think it's working out. 198 00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:32,610 He can't make me do anything against my will? 199 00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:36,170 You're always fully conscious, just in a very relaxed state. 200 00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:41,130 So... he can't make me say anything I'll regret later? 201 00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:42,900 No. 202 00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:47,060 Nothing specific. I'm not hiding anything... 203 00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:50,170 .. to my knowledge. 204 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:51,530 Just chill. 205 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:55,020 Yeah, I'm just saying, I don't want to blurt anything out. 206 00:11:56,780 --> 00:11:59,250 Do people tend do blurt? 207 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,490 There's very little blurting. 208 00:12:01,540 --> 00:12:03,260 Oh, good, good. 209 00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,410 Mr Stater? 210 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:07,450 Yes. 211 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,850 Would you like to come through? 212 00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:09,890 Why? 213 00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:11,980 For your treatment. I'm Dr Hoffman. 214 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,930 Are you? Is she? 215 00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:18,740 Yes, that's Dr Hoffman. 216 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,740 Oh, yeah, great. Good, yeah. 217 00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:25,060 Let's go. 218 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,050 - Don't be nervous. - I'm not nervous. 219 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:31,340 Try to relax. 220 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:35,930 I want this to work. 221 00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:37,060 Me, too. 222 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:53,610 That's it, just take a seat there and make yourself comfortable. 223 00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,020 Oh... 224 00:12:56,260 --> 00:13:00,530 I was expecting, you know... hangings. 225 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:01,740 Hangings? 226 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:07,130 Tie-dyed wall hangings, wind chimes, smell of patchouli. 227 00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:09,420 Oh, I see, like a mystic. 228 00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:13,730 You're not going to have me doing Elvis, are you? 229 00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:15,450 No, no, nothing like that. 230 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,930 Cos that's the thing, isn't it? 231 00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:20,930 You know, someone says the word "fish and chips" 232 00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:24,610 and I am compelled to sing and dance like Elvis. 233 00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:25,700 I suppose so. 234 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:28,490 Could you do that? 235 00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:31,370 I'm not a stage hypnotist, Mr Stater. Can I call you Lance? 236 00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:32,490 Please do. 237 00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:35,130 Great. So... 238 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:39,970 the only way this can work is if you are completely comfortable 239 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,620 and relaxed. 240 00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,580 So, sit back. 241 00:13:56,820 --> 00:14:02,090 Success depends on you being able to completely switch off, 242 00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:05,810 trust my voice and let it carry you away. 243 00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:07,650 I suppose it'd be difficult 244 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:10,740 if you had an annoying accent or a squeaky voice. 245 00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,090 So try and put those sorts of thoughts 246 00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:15,930 out of your mind for a while. 247 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,380 Try to empty your mind. 248 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,530 I will do exactly as you say. 249 00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:24,770 Well done. 250 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:29,130 Just close your eyes and listen to the sound of my voice. 251 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:30,450 Listening. 252 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:33,460 You don't have to tell me you're listening, just listen. 253 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:38,250 Got it. 254 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,330 You don't have to say anything. 255 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,850 Oh, I thought you were waiting for a reply. 256 00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:44,170 - No. - Cos you hesitated. 257 00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:45,530 I might do a lot of hesitating, 258 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,680 but you don't need to say anything, or worry. 259 00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:52,220 Just relax... and listen. 260 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:14,050 So I want you to imagine that you are lying on soft warm sand, 261 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,650 on a beach. 262 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:21,330 And it is a beautiful summer's day and the sun is on your face. 263 00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:26,530 You've not got a care in the world, or anything to do. 264 00:15:26,580 --> 00:15:31,770 You can just enjoy the sun all day. 265 00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:37,770 Sorry, sorry, I'm very sensitive to the sun, I burn very easily. 266 00:15:37,820 --> 00:15:41,090 I wouldn't just sunbathe. 267 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,970 Is carpet the same as sand? 268 00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:45,780 Could I lie in my flat? 269 00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:53,410 Yes. So you are lying on the carpet in your flat. 270 00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:57,610 You are very comfortable and warm, just right. 271 00:15:57,660 --> 00:16:02,410 And you can feel yourself sinking into the carpet, 272 00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:06,410 sinking down through the carpet. 273 00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:09,690 Down. Down. 274 00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:11,610 And the carpet... 275 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:13,370 No, no, the problem is... 276 00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:14,530 You live on the first floor? 277 00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:15,770 I live on the first floor. 278 00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:20,050 Exactly. So I'm sinking down now into Mrs Morris's flat. 279 00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:21,330 She's going to be terrified. 280 00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,330 This is why it works best on a beach, 281 00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:25,530 because you can just keep on sinking. 282 00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:27,970 Have you got one of those sunshades? 283 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:31,780 Maybe I could sit under one of those big umbrellas. 284 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,290 Yes, do that. 285 00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:38,250 Right, here we go, back on the beach. 286 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:39,860 Carry on. 287 00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:43,740 Carry on-ez vous. 288 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,410 You were very quick. 289 00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:59,970 I was out like a light. Yeah, like that, sparko. 290 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,050 Really? 291 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,690 Yeah. No. I feel different. 292 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:07,090 I feel like I don't suffer from seasickness any more. 293 00:17:07,140 --> 00:17:09,770 Why did the doctor have her head in her hands? 294 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:13,180 Did she? Oh, I think she had a migraine coming on. 295 00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:16,250 Can children get migraines? 296 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:17,490 She wasn't that young. 297 00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:19,450 She didn't know who Uri Geller was. 298 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,170 Why were you talking about Uri Geller? 299 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:24,850 No, I was talking about fraudsters in general. Not her! 300 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:27,970 I was just saying that there must be some out there. 301 00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:31,300 But, no, yeah, I think it's done some good. 302 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,290 What's this? 303 00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:38,930 That's for being brave. 304 00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:40,500 Aw, cheers. 305 00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:44,210 Well, better get off to the scout hut. 306 00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:46,930 Do you want to stay tomorrow night and see if it worked? 307 00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:48,210 Yeah, go on, then. 308 00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,930 We can get a takeaway. I'll treat you to fish and chips. 309 00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,780 Thank you very much. 310 00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:07,730 Very nice! House of Constantine, circa 224 to 330 AD. 311 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:09,210 That's what I said. 312 00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:13,210 And this one is third century, possibly Claudius II. 313 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,770 I said that as well. 314 00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,250 And all this out of the same field? 315 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,850 There's something good going on down there, Terry. 316 00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:20,300 We're close, I can feel it. 317 00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:24,900 What's Russell doing? Russell? 318 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,180 Russ! 319 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:30,930 Whatcha doin'? 320 00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,330 I'm on my new app. 321 00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:33,690 Your what? 322 00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:37,090 It's my new app on my phone, it's a metal detecting app. 323 00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:41,170 It's great. You can go on different historical sites to detect. 324 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,420 I'm currently on Hadrian's Wall. 325 00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:46,090 Well, now I've seen everything. 326 00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:49,980 Oh! Here we go. Good signal, 12.5. 327 00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:00,100 It's deep. 328 00:19:04,740 --> 00:19:11,020 Ah! Roman Centurion's helmet. Good condition. 329 00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:13,980 I'm keeping it. 330 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:23,890 So, did Andy tell you who's been snooping around? 331 00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:24,930 Who? 332 00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:27,610 - Simon and Garfunkel. - What, the Antiquisearchers? 333 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:30,900 Didn't they change their name to something ridiculous? 334 00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:33,940 The Dirt Sharks. 335 00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:43,250 Right, well, there you go, then. It's decided. 336 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:45,890 We are no longer the Dirt Sharks. 337 00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:47,970 What are we? 338 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,330 Terra Firma. 339 00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:50,420 Yes. 340 00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:53,690 But we're spelling Terra the proper Latin way, 341 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:55,530 not the way you want to spell it. 342 00:19:55,580 --> 00:19:57,250 It's scarier my way. 343 00:19:57,300 --> 00:20:00,370 Right then, new name, new start. 344 00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:03,290 This year, I am determined, will be the year 345 00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:07,050 we are finally accepted onto a proper organised rally. 346 00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:09,970 And when we are, I want us to be prepared. 347 00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:12,690 - I want to see the Dirt Sharks... - Terra Firma. 348 00:20:12,740 --> 00:20:18,370 I want to see Terra Firma get the best finds in every category. 349 00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:21,140 Gavin, what are you going to find? 350 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:26,010 James I, hammered groat. 351 00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:27,330 Is it real? 352 00:20:27,380 --> 00:20:29,610 I think so. I got it on eBay. 353 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,370 How deep will it be? 354 00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:32,410 Four, five inches. 355 00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:33,610 Reading? 356 00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:35,570 53. A bit scratchy. 357 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:37,980 Nice. Michael? 358 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:46,010 Be realistic. 359 00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:50,210 So I said, "If that turns out to be the case, 360 00:20:50,260 --> 00:20:55,420 "I will change my name by deed poll to Belinda Carlisle." 361 00:21:00,940 --> 00:21:03,010 What a wonderful story! 362 00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:05,490 True as I'm sitting here now. 363 00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:08,700 That restores your faith in humanity, doesn't it? 364 00:21:10,780 --> 00:21:12,080 Another cup of tea, Belinda? 365 00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:16,490 There she goes. 366 00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:17,650 You know... 367 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:21,530 she has got the timing of Ken Dodd, that one. 368 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,300 I'll give you that one, Sheila. 369 00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:27,100 We have a laugh, don't we, eh? 370 00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:44,050 You idiot! 371 00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:46,770 How can you get it so wrong? 372 00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:48,250 I just thought... 373 00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,130 What? What? 374 00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:52,260 It doesn't matter. 375 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,210 Why don't you think before you open your mouth? 376 00:21:56,260 --> 00:21:57,300 Knobhead. 377 00:22:01,460 --> 00:22:05,940 Well, we've had a very busy week. 378 00:22:07,380 --> 00:22:11,450 After a typically infuriating encounter with those two goons from the DMDC, 379 00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:16,410 Paul and I decided to drop in on the landowner, 380 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,210 - see if we couldn't... - Butter him up. 381 00:22:19,260 --> 00:22:21,620 Curry favour, I was going to say. 382 00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:26,850 And the information he gave us was... 383 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:27,890 Weapons grade. 384 00:22:27,940 --> 00:22:29,780 Can you stop interrupting, please? 385 00:22:31,780 --> 00:22:36,090 Turns out the church farm has been acquired by a solar energy company. 386 00:22:36,140 --> 00:22:39,530 They're due to start converting the land in just under five weeks. 387 00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:41,450 So did he give you permission? 388 00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:42,980 He didn't, no. 389 00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:52,570 But Photon Harvest Solar Electricity did. Paul's idea. 390 00:22:52,620 --> 00:22:55,290 Cut out the middleman, go straight to the top, 391 00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,730 offer them a service they can't live without. 392 00:22:57,780 --> 00:22:59,090 What service? 393 00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:02,690 Obstruction clearance, farm machinery, unexploded bombs. 394 00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:03,730 That was my idea. 395 00:23:03,780 --> 00:23:06,570 I just said it was your idea. 396 00:23:06,620 --> 00:23:10,940 I gave you credit about two seconds ago, you don't have to repeat it. 397 00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:16,890 Well, it was when I mentioned unexploded bombs, 398 00:23:16,940 --> 00:23:18,850 and what happened to that idiot Terry Seymour 399 00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:22,530 a couple of years ago, that their ears pricked right up. 400 00:23:22,580 --> 00:23:27,330 And the permission, ladies and gentlemen, 401 00:23:27,380 --> 00:23:28,970 - is... - Ours. 402 00:23:29,020 --> 00:23:30,700 Oh, God! 403 00:23:41,980 --> 00:23:43,690 Are you the metal detectors? 404 00:23:43,740 --> 00:23:45,730 Are we THE metal detectors? 405 00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:48,450 Bloke I spoke to on the phone? 406 00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:49,610 No. 407 00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:51,090 Oh, right, we got some. 408 00:23:51,140 --> 00:23:52,290 Some what? 409 00:23:52,340 --> 00:23:55,810 We got some metal detectors who can do all this, so we don't need you. 410 00:23:55,860 --> 00:23:57,370 Sorry wait, what? 411 00:23:57,420 --> 00:24:01,250 We've got five weeks until this farm's converted. 412 00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:02,890 Five weeks till the panels go up. 413 00:24:02,940 --> 00:24:05,810 We've acquired the land, we need someone to get rid of the obstructions. 414 00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:08,290 What, and you've got your own detectorists to do it for you? 415 00:24:08,340 --> 00:24:10,770 They're freelance. They wrote to us, we've employed them. 416 00:24:10,820 --> 00:24:12,010 What are they called? 417 00:24:12,060 --> 00:24:14,810 A company called... Terra Firma. 418 00:24:14,860 --> 00:24:16,210 Never heard of 'em. 419 00:24:16,260 --> 00:24:18,010 And when are they showing up? 420 00:24:18,060 --> 00:24:20,330 Well, I thought they were going to be here, 421 00:24:20,380 --> 00:24:22,980 I was supposed to meet them. I thought you were them. 422 00:24:29,740 --> 00:24:32,020 You are kidding me! 423 00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:42,290 Are you the metal detectors? 424 00:24:42,340 --> 00:24:46,770 Indeed we are. Terra Firma at your service, sir. 425 00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:49,290 And I can see from our friends' faces, 426 00:24:49,340 --> 00:24:51,050 they've heard the good news. 427 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:53,050 It's a sneaky bloody trick. 428 00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:54,490 Quite the opposite, in fact. 429 00:24:54,540 --> 00:24:57,050 We've been through all the correct channels, 430 00:24:57,100 --> 00:25:00,330 as can be proved with this paper trail. 431 00:25:00,380 --> 00:25:02,410 We've been on this farm five years. 432 00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:05,330 Can't you all do it? I don't care if they do it as well. 433 00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:07,130 No, no, no, no, no, no. 434 00:25:07,180 --> 00:25:11,050 You gave us the permission, as stated in this email. 435 00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:13,530 We have the permission of the landowner. 436 00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:15,730 Overruled, actually. 437 00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:18,170 Oh, come on, there's only four of you and 300 acres. 438 00:25:18,220 --> 00:25:19,930 Why can't you all work together? 439 00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:22,810 We gave them a chance to share and they turned it down. 440 00:25:22,860 --> 00:25:24,450 Why should we? We got here first. 441 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:26,810 We got here first. Why should we share it with you? 442 00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:28,730 - You should share. - Shut up. - You shut up. 443 00:25:28,780 --> 00:25:31,930 Jesus, it's like a school playground. 444 00:25:31,980 --> 00:25:33,570 How old are you lot? 445 00:25:33,620 --> 00:25:35,410 Look, we'll do it first come, first served. 446 00:25:35,460 --> 00:25:37,810 Whoever gets here first gets the choice of their field. 447 00:25:37,860 --> 00:25:39,010 Not fair. 448 00:25:39,060 --> 00:25:41,850 Oh, all right, well, you can all sling your hooks, I don't care! 449 00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:43,810 Hang on, hang on, wait. I can go along with that. 450 00:25:43,860 --> 00:25:46,020 First come, first served. 451 00:25:53,340 --> 00:25:54,850 OK. 452 00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:57,210 See, we don't have to behave like kids. 453 00:25:57,260 --> 00:26:00,370 Yeah, but after we've chosen the field, 454 00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:04,010 there is an invisible force field all the way around 455 00:26:04,060 --> 00:26:05,730 and you cannot enter it. 456 00:26:05,780 --> 00:26:07,330 What if we haven't got our detectors? 457 00:26:07,380 --> 00:26:09,650 It's impenetrable -- impenetrable force field. 458 00:26:09,700 --> 00:26:11,890 Right. Now shake hands. 459 00:26:11,940 --> 00:26:13,170 No way. 460 00:26:13,220 --> 00:26:14,700 Never. 461 00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:18,490 Childish. 462 00:26:18,540 --> 00:26:21,220 I know you are. What am I? 463 00:26:26,340 --> 00:26:27,900 Huh? 464 00:27:39,780 --> 00:27:41,890 Feeling any better? 465 00:27:41,940 --> 00:27:43,420 I think so. 466 00:27:44,900 --> 00:27:47,380 Did it all come up? 467 00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:52,930 I saw some fish eating it. 468 00:27:52,980 --> 00:27:54,260 Did you? 469 00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:56,580 Yeah. 33401

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