All language subtitles for Confessions.of.a.Teenage.Jesus.Jerk.2017.HDRip.AC3.X264-CMRG

What do you see here?

Oh the earth

is a gift to us.

A gift for us to cultivate.

And to reflect on,

you gave it to us.

Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah.

Subtitles by explosiveskull

This all happened because
of a Sear's catalog.

Dad likes it when I do this.

Touch them.

That's better.

Do you have a boner now?

Can you just put it, put
your clothes back on please?

You Jehovah's are no fun.

Do you want to play Stop Time?

I'm smoking.

And since Christ is our
mediator, we conclude prayers

by saying in Jesus name, amen.

Thank you Brother Dagsland.

Good job son.

Would anyone else like

to comment on that paragraph?

I have to go to the bathroom please.

Come straight back, just there and back.

All right then let's move on

to Matthew chapter five verse 27.

You have heard that it
was said that you shall not

commit adultery, but
I say to you that every

one that looks at a woman with lust for her

has committed adultery
with her in his heart.

If your right eye makes you stumble,

tear it out and throw it away from you.

For it is better to lose one of the parts

of your body than for your whole body

to be thrown into Gehenna.

And witnesses for Jehovah.

I'm at Jehovah's place of worship,

I'm on holy ground and
I'm thinking of breasts.

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me?

It's because of last night.

She made me drink, she got me drunk,

then she demanded that I touch them.

It's not a sin is it?

It was breast rape, it's her fault.

She breast raped me.

I'm fine with God and I'm gonna
make it through Armageddon.

We have to keep our minds clean.

Because if we dwell on
the filth of this earth,

we're putting ourselves in

a very, very, can you
please take her outside?

Thank you.

And that explains string theory.

Any questions?

No, then it's time for a pop quiz.

Ah yeah, close your books.

No notes, no talking to your
neighbors, you know the drill.

This is not a team sport.

You guys can do it,
come on, I know, I know.

- We just went over everything.
- Hey.

- So if you don't
- Hey.

Know what it is.

Could I borrow a pencil?

- Yeah.
- You must've been sleeping.

Sure.

Thanks.

And voila.

All right, you guys got five minutes.

Adios guys.

Adios.

Hey.

Hey, what'd they say?

They're cool.

They said I should get some Brixton

wheels because they're faster.

Cool, my dad says he'll get me a board

after I memorize the books of the Bible.

What is this?

Is that from Jennifer?

What's it say?

Peter, tell your stupid
friend Gabe to stop obsessing

over Jasmine when Camille
clearly likes him, love Jennifer.

Okay stop lying, what's it really say?

Seriously, you should ask her out.

She might even let you kiss her.

Besides, people are gonna think you're gay

if you don't have a girlfriend.

What about Kien?

Well he's Asian, and Vietnamese

people don't have gays.

There are gay Vietnamese you know.

First of all I don't know

what.

In the 1950s, Khrushchev predicted,

we will bury you.

Joshua, Judges, Ruth.

A free world that is achieved a level

of prosperity and well being

unprecedented in all of human history.

In the communist world, we see failure,

technological backwardness...

Honey, can you turn up the knob?

How long have you been in there.

Oh almost done.

Gabriel is this door locked?

What are you doing with that?

I thought they sold skateboards.

Hello, we are offering the
latest issue of Truth Magazine.

Can I offer you a copy?

They don't have to be mean and bad,

we're just trying to help them.

I love your attitude.

You really care about worldly people.

Jasmine, do you love me like I love you?

A wind from God lifts up her dress and lets

me see the small beauty
mark on her lower thigh.

Gabe, why don't you take
the next door with me.

And Jasmine you can go with Sister Sorisho.

So you guys getting a new house?

Observe your technique.

Just a second!

Hello there, how are you today?

Have you ever considered that you

could live forever in paradise earth?

In this copy of the latest Truth Magazine,

it shows how we can all
live forever in paradise.

Can we offer you a copy?

Thanks.

Thank you.

Have a great day.

You too.

We preach to give people

salvation and to find souls who are

searching for the truth about Jesus.

Do you need more room?

Oh.

My salvation was sitting right next to me.

She emanated the scent
of a fragrant perfume.

The breeze blew her hair onto my shoulder.

If I could only stop time.

It's called Stop Time.

Touch my fingers and close your eyes,

now we can go anywhere we want.

Hey Gabe, why don't you come sit up front.

I'll take you to see Bill, my Bible study.

All right.

Do you see that house there?

Now they told us to never come back again.

But after Armageddon, a Jehovah's Witness

can move right in there.

Can even be your family.

Did you know that the Bible actually

mentions the sport of tennis?

Moses served in the court of Pharaoh.

You get it.

Right in the court of Pharaoh,
it means different things.

Let's go over last week's study.

What is the world?

The world is the people that

are not Jehovah's Witnesses.

Very good, and who's
the ruler of the world?

Satan.

Can you give me a
scripture to back that up.

1 John 5:19.

That's excellent.

You're on your way to
becoming a Jehovah's Witness.

Now if we aren't for God, who are we for?

We're for Satan, and against God.

That's very good Bill, that's very good.

Now are you for God or are you for Satan?

Bill, are you for God or are you for Satan?

I hate Satan,

but I'm for Satan.

What are you talking about?

I mean I might be for God
now, it's been four days.

Four days since what?

I got drunk.

And have you been praying to Jehovah

to help you quit that dirty habit?

I have been praying but on Tuesday I sinned

and I thought since I'm for
Satan I should do Satan things.

But you asked for Jehovah's
forgiveness in prayer, right?

So you're doing the right thing Bill.

What is it.

I'm for God.

I'm for God, I'm for God!

I'm for God, I'm for God, I try, I try.

Bill, is there something
more you want to tell us?

It's okay Bill, you can tell us,

you can confess to us right here.

We're all brothers here you can talk to us.

Masturbation.

I masturbated.

Gabe, Gabe, how do you deal
with your sexual desire?

I pray to Jehovah.

And does Jehovah direct you?

Yes, trust in Jehovah.

Have trust in Jehovah.

Uncle Jeff told dad he wanted

to come back to the Kingdom Hall.

He's a musician so he tours a lot.

He also smokes a lot and drinks a lot.

And does a lot of other things.

And if he keeps having sex with girls,

he's gonna die at Armageddon.

Can I take a sip?

Help yourself.

Thanks.

Warms you up huh?

Yeah.

Puts hair on your chest.

Oh shit man sorry.

It's okay.

It's easier to quit
women than it is smoking.

Yeah I have girl problems too.

Tell me 'bout it kiddo.

Well her name's Jasmine.

She doesn't like me but, her sister does.

Peter says I should go with Camille

because she might kiss me, but
what if Jasmine likes me too?

Would she get mad if I kiss Camille?

Relax, in a few years
they'll all be begging

to hang out with you and
you'll forget all about Jasmine.

Don't tell Dad.

It's between us.

What's it like being a rock star?

It's fun.

First, everything get a
little bit blurry on the road.

Do you have lots of sex?

I'm not drunk enough to tell you that.

Worldly girls,

some of them have diseases.

They tested me for Syphilis twice man.

Getting that tube up my
piss hole was not worth it.

Basically that's my motto in life.

Do all that you can unless it gets you

a tube up your piss hole.

It's three chords and the truth they say.

♪ Time on my hands ♪

♪ can't wash it off ♪

♪ Could if I go ♪

♪ All the way ♪

♪ Up on a plane ♪

♪ Flying over the sea ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ Up on a plane ♪

Did you tell her you love her?

It just says I want to go with her.

She's gonna love you.

Oh there's Tony and Tom.

Yeah.

Hey Fiddie, hey.

How's goofy foot coming along?

Hey come on.

Hey man how come you're always

wearing that old man's watch?

It's cool, it was my grandpa's.

Next time tell him to get you a Swatch.

He died in Vietnam.

Did he live there?

He jumped on a grenade,
he saved like 50 people.

He died protecting his squad, he's a hero.

Yeah dude.

He was a real hero.

That's so cool.

Let's bash cars.

Cool.

It was Nerf football terrorism.

Peter and I had to do crazy things

like this so we could have stories

for our wives in the future.

We're gonna have barbecues

in between having sex with our wives.

All right, dude I have to
ask, have you touched it?

You just gave it to me?

No, it.

Your dick.

No.

I've played with it.

What's it like?

I know you've played with it.

You won't tell on me?

No, I'm not gonna tell on you.

But, look I was thinking.

Isn't like as long as we try not to do it

then it's enough right.

Yeah because we can always stop.

Can we stop talking 'bout this now?

I hear cars, come on.

Ready, go.

Oh!

Hi.

Hey.

I, I should go.

Okay.

I have class.

See you tomorrow?

Yeah, see ya.

Hey, hey.

What's wrong man?

Jennifer.

Wait.

Why is she gonna tell her dad?

I would do anything for her,

why would she want to get me in trouble?

What'd you do?

We kissed.

Hey Dad.

We need it talk.

To Camille, from Gabe.

Will you go out with me?

Did you touch this girl?

Gabe, let me explain something to you.

If you tell me the
truth, right now, Jehovah

and the elders will
consider it a confession

and it will be much better for you.

Did you touch this girl?

Five, four, three, two, one.

Did you touch her?

Yes, yes.

Yes what?

I touched her.

You know that I can lose
my position as an elder?

Where did you touch her?

Where did you touch her?

I touched her on the bench near the gym.

No, did you touch her vagina,
did you touch her breasts?

No.

Gabe do not lie to me.

No, no, we held hands, we just held hands.

Please!

We held hands that's all we did.

Are you telling the truth?

Yes.

If I call Camille on the
phone what will she say to me?

Call here.

What will she say to me?

Dad we just held hands, that's all we did.

Did you kiss her mouth?

No.

Did you touch her breasts?

No!

Did she touch you?

No!

Gabe, I need to know.

I just...

This is a confession.

I just touched her hand dad.

Promise me?

Yes.

Look at me.

Yes.

I needed to know, I needed to know.

I do it because I love you Gabe.

I love this family.

You know all we have to do
is follow a few basic rules.

Abide by a few basic
rules that Jehovah gives us

and we can live together
forever as a family.

Don't you want that?

You do.

Yeah.

I want to see you thrive, okay kiddo?

Okay, I'll get there.

Okay so, why don't you read
to me out of the youth book

and then we'll go outside
and you can teach me

how to use one of those skateboards.

I'm not, I'm not in
trouble with the elders?

No, not for holding hands, no.

But holding hands, that leads to kissing,

that leads to fondling, fornication,

and you do those things
before you're married

and you'll be disfellowshipped

and Jehovah will kill you at Armageddon

and your mother and I will
be in a different place

and you'll be gone forever.

Can you control yourself?

Yeah.

You know Jehovah's watching you.

I know.

Stay with us.

Every serious statistical
study that we have

shows clearly that at least
95% of boys and young men

between 13 and 25 years of
age, pass through periods

of habitual masturbation
of varying lengths.

Some people say that
these figure prove normalcy

and that the absence of masturbation

in a healthy youth is a matter of concern.

Now what do you think?

Before I was baptized, I
had absolutely no morals.

I smoked, I drank,

I masturbated, a lot.

Now was there anything that you were not

allowed to do as a child?

Oh well, a normal thing
is that, it would be

a little embarrassing to talk about.

Masturbate.

When I became a Jehovah's witness,

I began to lead a healthy life.

A life free of disease, free
of any of the evil things

that disappear when you
accept Jehovah as your God.

How long are you grounded for?

Thursday.

Do you think you'll ever
get back together with her?

Not really, she's not really interested.

It sucks but we can find more
girls at assembly I guess.

Yeah, it's cool.

When we're 18 we'll both be married

and we'll have barbecues.

And sex.

Lots of sex.

Lots of barbecues.

Lots of barbecues.

Barbecue sex.

Barbecue sex.

Barbecue sex.

Peter who are you talking to in there?

No one Terry, I was

just memorizing Bible scriptures.

I'm coming in.

You're memorizing Bible verses.

Yeah.

Okay well that's a good way
to spend your time grounded.

What do you say we make it one day

grounded instead of five all right?

Okay.

Call me, call me dad.

Thanks Dad.

Close one.

Good job.

That was close.

That was very close.

You better go.

Yeah, why does he want you calling him dad?

'Cause my real dad's getting out of prison.

You think you're gonna see him?

No, I don't want to.

I'll see you later.

Hi.

Hey.

Where are your Bible study books.

Under there.

Put 'em up on the shelf.

We're the illuminators of God's word,

you want to set a good example right,

for your aunt, for your cousin.

Yeah, but Karen's always making fun of me.

We don't want her to die,
do we want her to live?

Yeah.

Well it's just it says in the truth,

we set examples to those worldly people

and then they can have salvation like us.

Thank you, button your shirt up please.

So my friend had the coolest
birthday party last week.

Oh, I forgot, you don't
go to parties, why not?

'Cause it says it in the Bible.

Hey, you like Journey?

- Yeah.
- They're from San Francisco.

Mom bought me their record.

I play it on the record player
she gave me for Christmas.

Oh, right, you don't celebrate Christmas.

That must suck.

Yeah but I'm doing what God
wants me to do, you're not.

So you better watch out for Armageddon.

How do you know what God wants you to do?

Because I read it in the Bible.

Well where does it say you
can't celebrate Christmas?

I don't know, but I'll ask dad.

Mom says he gives too much money

to the Jehovah people so he stays poor.

Mom says Aunt Lynn is a Jehovah

because she has voids in her life.

My mom doesn't have voids.

Guys dinner's ready!

Hi, we made it, hi how are you, oh my gosh.

Hey Uncle Allen.

Oh you first, we made it, hi

Gabe we made it.

Hi Aunt Lynn.

Look at you, you're so big.

You remember Karen.

Hey.

What's up.

You guys hug or something, you haven't

seen each other in five years.

Awkward teenagers.

You got anything to drink?

Where's the TV?

Dad, he put it away, he
says I watch it too much.

That's gay.

I'm getting a drink.

Auntie Lynn.

Yes sweetie.

Where do you keep your glasses?

In the cabinet next to the sink.

Hey.

What's that?

Just take it.

Yeah, did you find everything?

Yeah, I'm just getting some water.

Okay good.

Did you taste it?

Did you get that from
my dad's liquor cabinet?

It's nothing.

No, you don't understand.

It's fine.

No.

I'm not, I'm an expert at this.

Mom always draws lines on the vodka bottles

whenever she remembers and
I just pour a little out

and fill it back up with some water.

I do this all the time, drink.

Is it good?

Do you want it?

Go ahead, just kidding.

It's good right?

Yeah.

Hey Gabe, where's the bathroom?

Just go down to the hall and make a right.

Okay, thanks.

Hey mom.

Yeah!

Gabe and I are gonna go for a walk.

Alright, don't be too late.

Go around the block Gabe.

Okay.

Look, look, look, see that?

No.

I see it.

I don't see anything.

Oh I see a star.

Does your dad know?

Look.

I got it.

Hey where were you the other night man?

Terry made me study the Bible, again.

Aw dude.

It's all dry.

Oh dude.

How are we gonna wet the ball?

Nice.

Okay, you boys ready to
stand up for your county.

So whoever we throw this
at gets a free beer right?

It's heavy.

Perfect, let's make some magic, babies.

Hey Kien, you don't want any?

You're not gonna drink?

The Watchtower says we can't drink

unless we're being supervised by adults.

Here.

You're not, you're not
gonna tell on us are you?

Nah.

We got you back.

Hey, what's he gonna do?

Oh got some.

Here we go, soldier up.

I didn't know he could climb that high.

Seriously?

Give me the ball.

Ready?

Oh!

Did you lose your ball, little boy?

Lose your football?

Hey, I see you in the tree, fucker!

That is a classic car and
you fucked up my car you fuck!

Come on, you want to fuck around?

You fucked with my fucking car, fucker!

Come on down!

Come on fucker!

Hey, hey, it was me, it was me.

- I threw the ball not him.
- It hit my car.

I threw it, I'm sorry.

We were just being stupid.

I'm sorry believe me, I never
would have thrown the ball

if I knew it was gonna hit your car.

I'm really sorry.

You're sorry.

You're not gonna do that again?

Never I swear to God.

Hey, hey what are you doing?

You fucking punk.

What are you doing man?

Hey, hey, hey relax.

Oh it was four of you.

Hey, hey.

You can take me on, faggots.

I'm taking this, taking your little toy.

You better be glad I got shit to do.

Fucker!

You're all faggots!

Come on Kien.

Yeah.

Got you Kien, yeah!

You guys should have come
to that dance last week.

Totally, totally hooked up with Tonya.

Oh she's hot.

And she has a nice car too.

Yeah, her dad's some rich dude.

How'd you hook up with her.

We were drinking in the back of her car.

Tony says she's a key maker.

What's that?

She used her teeth way too much down there.

My fucking dick still hurts.

That's hilarious.

Can I have a beer?

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Let's see how this is demonstrated

with Brother Dagsland and Brother Nguyen

from the Valley congregation.

I'm not interested.

Is it the Bible you're not

interested in or is it religion in general?

I'm gonna stop you there.

You see what brother Dagsland just did.

He took an objection and turned

it into a conversation starter.

Let's look back in on them.

It's religion, I'm not a religious person.

Let me assure you we're not
here to change your religion

today but to give you
encouragement from the Bible.

Brother Dagsland, have you been using

questions when people have been

giving you conversation
stoppers out in the field.

Yes.

And have you been able
to get Bible readings?

No.

Well Jehovah blessed your efforts,

while you are in service with him.

Thank you for your example.

You did great, you did great son.

I was so nervous.

You looked like a natural.

Jehovah answered your prayers.

We'll meet you here after the services.

Okay.

Bye mom.

The ring is amazing.

Thank you.

Do you have a date set yet?

As soon as possible, right sweetheart.

Hey Jim.

Bobby, hey.

Honey you've got to meet
this guy, he's a riot.

That's masturbation Bill.

No way, you got that guy yesterday.

I can't even look at
him without thinking...

Hello friends.

This is Bill Anders, he
was baptized yesterday.

Hello Sisters.

Hi.

Gabe, you should visit my congregation,

we can preach together soon.

Sure.

Let me get your phone number.

Jasmine, you should come with us too.

Why don't you give me your number as well.

Sisters, please welcome
Brother Isaac Jenkins.

When evening came,

Joseph arose from his bed and walked around

the roof of the king's house.

And from the roof he saw a woman bathing.

And the woman was very
beautiful in appearance.

And one said, is this not
Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam.

David sent messenger to take her in.

And when she came to him, he lay with her.

She's looking at you.

Who?

Are you sleeping?

Gabe.

Hmm?

Dude what are sleeping?

No.

That girl two rows down,

she's looked at you at least twice.

No, you're kidding.

I'm not kidding, she's beautiful.

Yeah she is.

Well giddy up.

The boy has lost spiritual and family...

Here's my address.

Thanks.

You better not forget to mail me.

I won't.

Hi, my name is Gabe.

He's disfellowshipped.

Oh.

You'll still mail me though right?

Of course.

Kaitlyn Freedman.

You know her?

Her dad's disfellowshipped.

He's in the same congregation
as my cousin Isabel.

Yeah I know, she told me.

And do you know why he's disfellowshipped?

No.

He voted in the last presidential election.

They're not as wild as I was.

I was really, when I was in the 10th grade.

I used to supply all the booze

to the rest of the students at school.

That's why we live in a community.

Because when we stray we
share it, we confess it.

Jehovah is gonna kill me at Armageddon.

No he's not.

Upsy daisy, upsy daisy.

Hey!

Water.

Ooh man, your dad,

your dad was tough.

He was a violent man, it was scary.

He's worked hard to
become a perfect Jehovah.

I'm never gonna be a good Jehovah.

But that, you.

Stay a Jehovah.

Listen to your dad.

You.

Jeff.

Dad phone.

Who is it?

It's elder business.

This is Brother Dagsland.

You can hang up Gabe.

Okay.

Brother Dagsland it's Brother Knox.

How are you doing brother Knox?

Well not so good, that's why I called.

Okay, go ahead.

Oh this is hard to discuss.

I'm not sure that we committed a sin, but.

Brother Knox, Jehovah shows mercy

to those who confess their sins.

You're a good brother in the congregation.

Feel fee to speak as Jehovah
and I are your friend.

We committed sodomy.

This may be hard Brother Knox,

but you're need to give me all the details.

We started to have sex, we
were in missionary position,

we were kissing and in
the heat of the moment,

I stuck my penis in and
started going in and out,

until my wife stopped me.

I didn't know it was in her butt.

And how many times would you
go in and out would you say?

Five I think.

And did your wife enjoy it?

Hold on a sec?

He wants to know if you, if you enjoyed it?

Come talk to him.

Just say something,
just say something honey.

Hello Brother Dagsland.

Sister Knox go ahead and give
me your version of the sin.

Well we were in the heat of the moment

and I didn't even realize
that he was in the wrong area.

I was concentrating on his eyes.

He does have nice eyes.

Did you enjoy it?

I enjoyed the kissing.

All right Sister Knox you can put

Brother Knox back on the phone.

Yes.

Brother Knox, I need to be sure,

did you ejaculate in your wife's anus?

No, like she said we stopped the sex.

Practicing sodomy is against Jehovah,

it's a sin, because it's a homosexual act

and we don't want to have
anything to do with homosexuality.

Well we sure don't.

I doubt we'll have to convene a committee

meeting about this but we will
schedule a shepherding call.

Another Elder and myself will come over and

Thank you.

Thank you.

If I can get everyone's attention

for just one quick second.

Jehovah would be honored and proud

of the both of you getting married.

It's an honor to be your best man.

To Allie and Jim.

Thank you, thank you everyone.

And thank you Jasmine, my best friend

and now my bridesmaid.

Hopefully you and John
will get married soon.

That's why we put you guys together

as bridesmaid and best man.

Just give it little bit of time.

Hey, hey Jasmine, cover your ears.

Hey how did he get her?

He's old and he has a job.

Forget about Jasmine.

Hey, at least we can drink now

since we're being supervised by adults.

Why do you memorize that stuff?

Hi, I'm Krissy.

Hi Krissy, I'm Gabe.

Hi pleased to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

Why are you looking at me?

Stop it!

Stop looking at me!

I hate you!

I wasn't looking at you.

I hate you!

Oh no.

Come man, come, forget about it.

Come on, let's go to Uncle Jeff's.

Your uncle doesn't have any food.

Hello!

That's because he's a musician.

Hello!

Is anybody home?

You're a really great guy.

Thanks.

You're a really nice guy.

Hey I got to get Kien
home, you know his stomach.

Dress.

What?

Off.

Hey Jeff.

Is Jeff your roommate?

Oh hey, how are you feeling?

Thanks for taking care of me last night.

I found aspirin so headaches gone.

Do you remember throwing up?

Some of it.

Did you take advantage of me?

No, no, no, you told me
to take your dress off.

Just kidding.

So what congregation are you in?

I'm sorry.

You're no fun.

Okay guys give me five
concise sentences, hey,

on what we just discussed.

Show me that you know it.

I, uh...

I read that magazine, the Bible one.

Oh did you?

Yeah.

It's kind of, it's kind of cool.

Yeah.

My family's episcopalian so we

just kind of love everyone.

No talking please, this isn't

an oral exam guys, come on people.

Zip it up.

We need to ask you a couple of questions.

Okay, I admit it, I felt my cousins breast.

Boobs are awesome.

It has been brought to our attention

that you stayed the night with a girl.

What?

Krissy from...

Vacaville Congregation.

You spent the night with her.

No, I

she slept on the bed
and I slept on the couch.

We only kissed.

You sound like you're proud of that.

No.

According to the witness who

brought this to out attention,

your Uncle Jeff wasn't home and you

spent the night alone with Krissy.

Yeah, no.

I slept on the couch and
she slept on Jeff's bed.

She was sick.

She was probably ate something
at the engagement party.

I let her use the bathroom and puke

and then she went to bed.

It's a sin when a man and
a woman spend the night

alone together alone in house
if they're aren't married.

I slept on the couch.

She slept on the bed, she was sick.

It doesn't matter how
you twist these words.

It is explained very clearly in the 1983

Truth Magazine that
spending the night together

is misconduct and from we understand,

you and Krissy spent the night together.

She slept on Jeff's bed.

If your mom stayed the night in my house

alone, your dad could divorce her

because it would seem obvious
that he cheated on him.

You understand that this
is a sin against Jehovah.

Krissy said that you took off her dress.

She admitted that she was drinking.

But you said that she had food poisoning.

Why would you lie to us?

I didn't want to get her in trouble.

Did you know that she's engaged?

Why did you take her dress off?

She asked me too.

It had puke on it.

According to her, she doesn't remember

asking you or what happened
after her dress was off.

Did you take your clothes off

before you got into bed with her.

I didn't get into bed with her.

I told you that.

Did you insert your tongue into her mouth.

Yes.

Did you touch her breast?

No.

After you took her dress
off when she was drink,

did you look under her clothes
to see her vagina or breasts?

No, I didn't see her vagina or breasts?

Did any arousal occur
when you kissed Krissy?

No.

Do you understand that this
is a sin against Jehovah?

Spending the night
together is loose conduct.

I didn't get into bed with her.

This is your opportunity
to be honest with us.

Did any arousal occur when you

kissed Krissy with your tongue?

No, I said no.

I don't get it.

She was drunk and puking.

I picked up her puke, I pulled
her hair out of the toilet,

I did the right thing.

It's what Jesus would have done.

- Oh my god.
- How dare you?

I'm afraid I don't see any alternative.

Acting under Jehovah's direction,

we've decided to disfellowship you.

You can write us a letter after
six months to be reinstated.

You can't speak to any Jehovah's
witness during that time.

Since you're still underage,
you can live with your parents.

What happened?

He's being disfellowshipped.

What did you do?

Give me the keys to the shop.

I don't have the keys.

I'm glad he's on tour so he

won't be stumbled by your actions.

Lynn get in the fucking car!

Get in the fucking car, shut him up!

Magic feet, hit me.

Oh, man down.

Hey Gabe.

Hey, I have to go.

Peter what's his problem?

He's cool, he's just
going through some stuff.

Yeah but he

doesn't have to ignore us like that.

Gabe,

Gabe.

Hey Gabe.

Leave me alone!

All right guys, get back to work.

Hey Gabe.

Hey.

That's my book.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, you should read it.

Really?

Yeah, I think you'll like it.

Thanks.

The damned one moves through the crowd.

The elders have brought
down their judgements.

Hi.

Sometimes it's harder

to shun than be shunned.

One minute looking at
you is days of sunshine.

Defy gravity, swim out.

The tide comes in, fish smile with no hook.

Hi.

Hey.

I like Kerook, does he have other books?

Kerook?

Yeah.

Oh Kerouac, oh yes.

Kerouac.

Yes he's written lots of books

but unfortunately we don't
carry any of them here.

It's at the public library though.

Do you have a library card?

No.

No, well if you like him, you might

like one of my other favorites.

He's part of the Beat Generation.

Try him.

Henry Miller.

Mm-hmm.

Thanks Mrs. Eagen.

Get that card.

Okay I will.

Psst, psst,

were you crying in class?

Why are you sitting with
your friends at lunch?

I got disfellowshipped so
they can't really talk to me.

Did you do something wrong?

I thought you liked
being a Jehovah's Witness.

No talking in detention please.

Now as he was saying these things,

a woman called out to him.

Happy is the womb that carried him

and the breast that nursed him.

Gabe, it'll all be over soon.

He redirected her praise to happy

are those hearing the
word of God and keeping it.

What we do for Jehovah,
we don't do for glory

or to show our brothers
and sisters our faith.

Jehovah gave us the gift of life.

What we give him is nothing in comparison.

It's all in there.

Crisis of faith.

Malawi was just, it was awful.

Jehovah Witnesses do
not even salute the flag.

As far as we're concerned that's showing

allegiance to a country.

There were supposed to
torture say, a political call

Malawi was a one party country,

but we dot get involved in politics.

Witnesses have been murdered, imprisoned,

just because they are Jehovah's Witnesses.

It is because of our standard, thousands

of witnesses were
brutally raped and killed.

I don't get this, this is really weird.

They had us right
letters to the politicians

in Malawi to stop the slaughter
of our brothers and sisters

when they could have stopped it all along.

I need to read this book.

No, I'm keeping it for a while.

This is bullshit.

Aren't you guys scared you'll get

in trouble for talking to me?

Yeah, we better go.

Hello.

Hey dork.

Karen, where are you?

I heard you got disfellowed or something.

Yeah, right away you went away.

This town's a shit hole.

I'm in San Francisco come meet me.

I can't use dad's car so.

Take a train or a bus,
I don't know grow up.

Okay.

Don't tell anyone I'm here.

Okay.

I wouldn't tell anybody, no.

See you on Monday.

- Hey!
- Hey!

How was Paris?

Amazing, I'm moving there.

Can I stay here tonight?

Is it all right with Allen?

Dad doesn't really care too much anymore.

He's been acting weird.

That works out well for you.

Hey dad can I have a beer?

Is your Uncle Jeff up there?

He's right here.

Okay, one.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go see some bands with Karen.

They found Karen?

Don't tell anyone, she's in San Francisco.

Fun money.

Thanks.

Make it last.

She was right, I did need to grow up.

To do something for myself.

Go somewhere that kind of scares me.

And what did I have left to lose?

My world was in shambles,
I was sneaking poems

into girls lockers and I'm not

even allowed to talk to my friends.

Really, I was going a little nuts.

I mean I'm almost 17, why not head

for the city of milk and honey.

Or, as my dad calls it, Sodom Francisco.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey, I wouldn't have recognized you.

Yeah you look like a cool
Jehovah or skooter boy.

Thanks.

Come on let's go inside.

Karen, who hit you?

Slam pits.

Did you run away because
your dad was molesting you?

Hey, you're the guy who
grabbed his cousin's tits.

Come on I'm hungry, let's eat.

Ooh it's good.

Aw shit.

What?

It's Jasmine and that's her fiance

and some other Jehovah...

Which is Jasmine?

The darker one with the long hair.

The green sweater?

Yeah, next to hot white guy.

Come on let's go get coffee.

Show them you're having a good time.

Fuck this.

Hey guys.

I'm a Jehovah's Witness too.

I'm going to the Fab
Mab tonight to meet some

of my Jehovah Witness friends.

You guys should all come.

Fuck them, let's go.

My father couldn't read or write,

he'd gone to work in the coal mines

when he was six years old.

My mother was very smart but she

was very heavy on the north end.

When she was married to him it was not

a loving relationship but she was very kind

and she made it work for her.

But they loved us, they
loved my sister and me.

I wanted to read the Bible so my friend

told me to get in touch
with Jehovah Witnesses

and they'll come teach you the Bible,

and give you a Bible.

And did they?

Yeah.

And did you read that Bible?

Yes I did.

Faith is not an easy thing.

We make that choice and why would

you choose to walk with the devil?

This is the 17th hill.

Here, over here.

Even better than ketchup is hot sauce.

- Hi.
- You eat hot sauce?

Yeah.

I'm Angela.

Oh hi, good morning.

Breakfast is on the table.

A little hungover?

Nah, I'm just thirsty.

Karen says you're a Jehovah's witness?

It's cool, cuz.

You get to have like 12 wives?

Use electricity?

Yes we do.

It's a big world out here Gabey.

I know.

Good afternoon boys and girls,

the baking club which usually
meets Friday at 4:00 p.m.

Is now meeting on Monday at 3:30.

Are you ready for today?

Are you ready for today?

I'm always ready for school.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Why'd you shave your head?

Dad said my hair was getting too long.

Wait, wait your dad knows.

He knows about that?

Yeah he knows.

I mean is that okay?

No, it's great.

What are the elders gonna say?

I couldn't care less.

Well it's been six months.

I couldn't care less.

And we have received

your letter for reinstatement.

We need to ask you a few questions.

Okay.

Do you have worldly girlfriend?

No.

Gabe, lying to us is not

- going to get you reinstated.
- I'm not lying.

You were observed in the city with a woman,

she had her arm around you.

She had a ring in her nose and some

sort of punk rock colored hair.

We don't find this funny?

No.

It's my cousin.

Your cousin puts her arm around
you and you hold her hand?

Yeah we'll we're close,
we're just being friendly.

Your cousin.

Yeah.

That's it.

Have you been communicating with any

Jehovah's Witnesses at school?

Maybe leaving letters in their lockers?

No.

Poems.

No, poem, nothing.

Have you spent the night alone with anyone

of the opposite sex or committed any sins

since our last meeting?

Have you?

No.

All right then, we can now

welcome you back to the congregation.

Thank you.

Welcome brother.

You did well Gabe.

- Good job son.
- Thanks, Dad.

We're ready for you brother.

Hello.

Hi.

Jasmine?

How have you been?

I can talk to you now so I'm great.

So who was that girl that you were dating?

That's my cousin.

You're dating your cousin?

No, she was just messing with you.

Well she's a bitch.

How's John?

He's fine.

He keeps changing the date of the wedding,

keeps pushing it forward.

That's fine.

Yeah well I shouldn't even

be talking to him about you.

Or I shouldn't be talking to you about him.

You know since I've been disfellowshipped,

it's pretty important for me to not

talk about the little things
and just get to the point.

I really miss talking to you.

I've got to go.

Bye.

Mom?

Mom?

Mom?

What?

What happened?

There's holes in the doors.

Your father got angry, it's funny.

Are you okay?

Of course.

You hungry?

How was school?

They found the book,

I'm in deep shit.

How long are you grounded for?

I've got to go see the elders and then

my dad will decide if the
elders decide if I'm apostic.

Whoa, whoa, they think you're apostic?

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

You know the worst part of it?

They called Kien, he lied about the book.

I don't know what I'm supposed to think.

Is he my friend?

That's messed up.

My dad punched a hole in our door.

I'm glad me and you are friends.

Who are you talking to in there?

Just a minute.

Who are you talking to, Peter, hey?

Hey.

Okay good night.

Good night.

Hey, come in here.

No, in my bed.

What?

I told Beth you were my
cousin through marriage

and we've been fucking for a while.

Why?

Because she keeps hitting on me.

Get in.

Get in.

Oh sorry.

Don't leave, it's okay.

It's okay, I can feel it.

Stay.

Aww, aww.

Sorry.

It's okay.

You're lying to the elders,

now Peter's getting grounded.

I've never been in trouble before.

You know I figure why should
both of us get in trouble?

You better think of your friends.

Jasmine wants me to be

her partner in preaching tomorrow.

You know she's still engaged.

Yeah, I know.

Good morning, we're here to discuss

an encouraging scripture
from the Bible with you.

Have you ever thought about living

forever on a paradise earth?

Good morning sir.

We are offering the latest issues

of these Bible based magazines.

Not interest.

Is it the Bible you're not
interested in or is it...

Get the fuck off my property.

Let me assure you, we're not here

to change your religion today.

Did you fucking hear me?

Yes.

Do you hate me?

No.

Then why'd you say it?

I don't know.

Hey, hey,

it's been more than 20 minutes

and I don't see them in there.

We're gonna wait for them here.

Are you crying?

No.

Come on, let's go to
your car, we missed them.

Hey look, bowling.

I'm bringing you home.

Come on let's have some fun.

No.

It's a family sport, you like those.

No.

Come on let's go bowling.

I can beat a girl at bowling any day.

Not bad, not bad at all.

Two Diet Cokes.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Sorry, oh no, no, no.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So you went to he library a lot.

When you were disfellowshipped.

Yeah I did.

I was actually, that was the strange

part about being disfellowshipped.

I got to learn about different writers

and I got to read a lot.

I um...

I'm engaged.

I know, I know.

I shouldn't be talking to you like this.

I know.

Oh wait I can't, I can't.

We shouldn't do this.

It's okay.

Hey, get your ass up here,
I have a surprise for you.

I'm at Beth's.

Okay.

I'm serious.

Surprise, we're giving you the van.

What?

We're not using it anymore.

We're taking the train to Seattle.

I've got a car up there at my parents.

Really, thanks.

You're moving to Seattle?

- Well we're.
- We're moving to Seattle.

You haven't told him yet.

Angela kicked us out.

She caught us.

But.

It's okay, Beth knows we fucked.

It didn't mean anything to you?

Gabey, come on.

Wow.

Gabey, you'll always be my cousin.

Have fun, I love you.

The steering sticks and the
keys are in the ignition.

Yo where's Peter?

I don't know.

I saw him at lunch.

Magic feet, oh.

Oh my god.

Move, move.

Move out of my way.

Peter!

Oh God, oh God!

Oh God.

Peter!

Peter, Peter!

Wake up, get up, Peter wake up!

Wake up Peter, wake up!

Somebody help!

Fuck, fuck!

Gabe!

Yeah.

Come on in here please.

Have a seat pal.

Sweetie you know how
sorry we are about Peter.

If Peter said a prayer
to Jehovah after he hung

himself before he died,
he'll be resurrected.

You don't think he'll be resurrected?

Suicide is murder.

Did you read the letter that

Peter sent, the apostasy letter?

It's full of lies.

What are you talking about?

You know about the Malawi cover up right?

Everybody makes mistakes.

Even the governing body.

But the governing body, they let these

Jehovah Witnesses die.

You know that they knew about it.

That isn't...

They knew.

That is not the point.

The point is, for our
family to stay together

in paradise for eternity, we
need to focus on the future.

The Malawi brothers and sisters

will be taken care of
by Jehovah at Armageddon.

- And it's not our business.
- Hello.

Gabe it's Brother Miller.

It's been brought to out
attention that you raped Jasmine.

What, who said that?

Well Jasmine told us,

I need you to confirm the situation.

Peter just died.

I know.

What is wrong with everybody?

Dear Gabe, don't be mad.

You probably say the letters I sent

to everyone in the congregation

about what we found out in Kien's book.

They're disfellowshipping me.

You probably found the watch already,

please take care of it.

It's a piece of me that's always with you.

Good luck with Jasmine, hope

to see you guys after Armageddon.

I love you.

Hey.

I heard about what
happened, I'm really sorry.

Thanks.

Do you want some company?

Sure.

I don't think I can be a
Jehovah's Witness much longer.

I'm sorry, if I can do
anything for you I...

No, I gotta do something.

Wait, I'll come with you.

You shouldn't be alone right now.

Where's Jasmine.

What are you doing here?

Peter just hung himself.

Did you read the letter?

Camille!

Hey, you don't go near her again!

I raped you?

You shouldn't be here.

The elders know everything.

They know you forced yourself on her.

She said don't but you kept going.

Is that true?

Is that what happened?

I'm sorry.

It's too late to say sorry to her.

The only reason I'm not breaking your face

is because you're getting
disfellowshipped again.

And because we want want to have

our wedding at Kingdom Hall.

Getting a worldly girl now Gabe?

Yeah, that'll be great
for you committee meeting.

What did you say?

Let's go.

I said it would be great

for your committee meeting.

Come on, knock it off.

Jesus.

You don't want to do this.

Let's go.

Sorry this door is always broken.

It's fine.

Well thank you for the ride.

Thank you.

Listen I'm definitely
here for you as a friend.

But, not like that.

Hey, you better be careful

so you don't get in trouble.

I don't care if I get in trouble.

You should, Jehovah will help you.

Oh really, how?

You read the book.

What else is there?

I don't know, I don't know.

Yeah you don't, hey.

What?

Lets just be careful.

What the fuck are you talking 'bout?

Hey, hey, we can do this.

Okay, we can do this for
Peter, we'll just be good.

No, don't you say that.

Let's just try to be good.

Don't say that.

It's not going to be all that bad!

Don't say that!

Dad.

Dad.

Not now.

Dad I, I had sex.

Karen and I got drunk and it felt amazing.

Karen's breasts are amazing and it's crazy

because she's my cousin, but.

Dad.

Dad I masturbate, I
masturbate, I masturbate a lot

and I like it and it feels good.

You need to leave.

Dad no.

You need to leave here, okay.

Go, right now.

Get out, Gabe, go.

Gabe go.

I hate you.

You wake up, wake up, wake up!

Wake up.

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