All language subtitles for All At Once-2016

I'm here with
James Maxwell in his solo show.

Are you pleased with tonight?
Satisfied with your final product?

I would hope so, I'm standing
in a room filled with it, right?

Do you feel like
this is your best work,

or do you feel like your best
work is still yet to come?

Why don't you ask me
that in ten years?

Okay, sorry,
can you excuse me for a second?

I wasn't finished
with the interview.

James, I want you to
meet Arthur Chang.

- He's from Vogue.
- How you doing?

- Congratulations. Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Thank you, man, thank you.

- Hi.
- You like this one?

- I do. I do.
- I might know the artist.

And I might be able
to get you a deal.

- A deal?
- Yeah.

Just my opinion,
my professional opinion,

maybe don't give out deals,
and the artist

doesn't have to sleep on
his buddy's couch anymore.

Maybe he sleeps
on his buddy's couch

- 'cause he likes his kids.
- You can have one of the kids.

You can buy one of the kids
when you make some money.

- I am blown away.
- Everything's for sale.

This is amazing.
All of it.

Just know that I'm available
to be muse in any way possible.

- Did you hear that? She said any way possible.
- I did.

I know.
No, it's absolutely fine

because I've always wanted
to fuck Barbara Bush.

Is she here tonight? Come here.
All kidding aside, okay?

- What?
- You are beyond talented.

You deserve all this,
and we are very proud of you.

- So proud. We love you.
- And I love you.

My God!
I'm at the right place!

Honey.
Gosh, they look great.

- Hi, you, hi.
- What do you think?

Maybe no more monthly trips
to Western Union.

You know, I've made some trips
down to Western Union

for you too, sir,
Mr. Rockefeller.

Who are you? Loosen up.

You look like
you're suffocating.

Untuck. Untuck.

Hi.

Come here.

- Maybe not.
- Okay.

Hi. Welcome.
Can I steal the man of the hour?

Did you hear that?
The man of the hour.

You are the man of the hour.
And your hour is almost up.

So please do your schmooze thing
with these weird people,

and we will meet you
over at Bobby's.

First drink's on you.

I gotta be up at 5:30
in the morning.

Where is this guy?

Relax,
he'll be here in a second.

He just needed
some time to himself.

Some time to himself?

Is this the right place?

My boy!

Hey, Bobby,
whatever he wants on me.

A beer, please,
Bobby, my friend.

- He'll have a beer.
- Okay, Vincent, man.

- So? Verdict, verdict.
- Come on!

I sold every painting.

I'm not surprised a bit.
Not a bit.

- I'm a little prejudiced.
- I want to make a toast.

I can't believe it.
Your first show?

You sell everything.
I want to say something.

Zip it.
Don't say anything.

Bobby, no more drinks
for this one.

- You do it. Go.
- Can I?

- Yeah, please.
- Thank you very much.

Now that I'm allowed to speak,
to my best friend

in the whole world,
I love you very m...

- To the next... who's a big artist?
- Basquiat.

That's a lot of pressure.
That's a lot of pressure.

Hey, the world is your oyster,
babe, I love you very much.

- Salud!
- Hey, James Maxwell, huh?

- Everybody, James Maxwell!
- Cheers!

James!

James!

What? What?

- Get in here!
- I'm still drunk.

We're being attacked.

What,
what are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

- Come look at this.
- What are you going on about?

This is a movie?

No, this is happening.
It's on every channel.

What?

My God, all those people.

My God, no.

No.

' No!

They might not have made it
to work, right?

Pick up the phone.

Pick up the fucking phone!
Fuck.

Fuck.

I'm going down there, okay?

Due to an emergency situation,

we are unable to take your call
at this time.

Please try your call later.

First let me start
by telling you

lam so sorry for your loss.

So, Mr. Maxwell,
it says here that Elizabeth

and Alexander Clark
in the event of their death

bequeath guardianship
of both of their children,

Alexis and Grace Clark
to... you.

- To James?
- What?

There has to be
some sort of mistake.

I'm afraid there isn't.
It's...

Why would they not
have told me that?

To be honest, Mr. Maxwell,
younger parents,

parents in general would never
imagine this happening,

certainly not like this.

Okay, so, I mean, what...

What are...
what are the options?

Well, should you choose
not to accept guardianship,

the children would be put
in foster care.

Together?

- In foster care together?
- It's highly unlikely.

This is so beautiful.

Gracie! Gracie!
You were so wonderful.

Teach, I can't believe you came.

I just happened to be
in the neighborhood.

- Thought I'd stop by.
- Stop it!

I'm so proud of you.

I wouldn't have missed this
for anything.

What about you?
Did you like it?

It was all right.

- Just all right?
- It was okay.

It was...
Okay, okay, okay.

Are you kidding?
It was great.

It was more than great.
It was beautiful.

I'm so proud of you.

Hi, that was just... wow.

That... that...
that was just fantastic.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

You have a very talented
little girl there.

Thank you.

Giovanni Sacco,
Hoffman Music Center.

James Maxwell.
Nice to meet you.

Our special music high
school just opened last fall.

I'm just... I'm curious.

What does a tuition cost a year

at the Hoffman
special music high school?

- Around 36.
- Thousand.

And another 13 and a change
for room and board

if she decides to live
on campus, which is recommended.

- Sure, of course, course.
- The most important thing

is getting her in, and for that,
I'm almost certain we can do.

On a scholarship or...

Um, possibly a scholarship.

Though with only 50 slots
available for each grade,

full ride is about as likely
as winning the lottery,

but possibly a scholarship.

Listen, it's up to Grace.
This is ultimately her decision.

- Of course.
- Is there a way I can reach you?

- Did you have a card?
- I do. I do.

Listen, let's not...
let's not wait on this.

The sooner we move...

- I'll be in touch. Okay.
- Okay.

Are you sure that's
something you're interested in?

- Yeah.
- Okay. All right.

I need to make sure because
I wouldn't force you

to do something
you don't want to do.

- You understand right?
- I know. I know.

All right. Okay.
You gotta do what you love.

- You gotta love it.
- I know. I know.

All right.
All right, okay.

- Dad.
- Yeah?

You know in First Blood

when Stallone is on the mountain

and the bad guys
are shooting at him,

and he falls into
the freezing-cold water?

And then he's like
so, so, so cold.

Like,
he's gonna freeze to death.

So he makes a fire,
takes off all his wet clothes...

Whoa, I'm a little scared
where this is going.

Where is this going with him
taking off his clothes?

Stallone sits in front
of the fire to keep warm

so he won't die.

The fire, it keeps him alive.

Okay, what is happening
right now?

Dad, music is my fire.

What? Who are you?

What did you do
with my daughter?

Stop!

Sorry.
Okay, race your home.

All right, you ready?
One...

On your mark, get set, go!
Hey, no, no, no, stop!

Dad, can I go scare Alexis?

Not tonight.
I need to talk to her first.

- Okay? Go get ready for bed.
- Fine.

Go turn on the television.
I'll be right there, okay?

Okay. Sure.

Hey. What happened?
Where were you?

I don't feel well.
That's why I'm in bed.

I can tell you're sick
by your attitude.

Well, go to sleep then, okay?

That's the plan
if you'd just leave.

You're a piece of work,
you know that?

- Sweet dreams.
- All right.

If you're not feeling well
in the morning,

I'm gonna call you a doctor.

Damn, girl,
what took you so long?

They just got back.

I had to wait for them
to check on me.

Why is he all up
in your business so much?

Because he's fucking annoying.

Come on, we only have
a couple of hours, let's go.

You sure you're ready for this?

As soon as conflict arises,

they mutually calm one another.

And that's the total?

That's the total...
that's before I pay

the mortgage for next month?

All right, well, I guess give...
give the realtor my number.

Well done.
Your best work in 10 years.

I'm barely paying
my mortgage as it is.

I am so sorry, sweetie.

Art programs are always
the first to go.

They're also reducing
music positions,

foreign language positions
and eliminating

all the after-school
art programs altogether.

God damn bastards
and their budget cuts.

James, I'm so sorry.

These kind of cuts
are absolutely infuriating.

It boils my blood to think
that they're actually happening.

I need a cigarette.
Really, I'm so sorry.

Fuck this, I'm losing James.

I don't know if this
is something

you would even consider,
but seeing since

you are from Buffalo,
I figured I'd bring it up.

Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.

Let me finish before
you huff and puff.

Go ahead.

An old colleague of mine is
on the board at Buffalo State.

We spoke the other day,
and she mentioned a position

in their art program that may become
available, like, next semester.

What kind of position,
teaching position?

Well, no,
you'd be cleaning the brushes.

Yes, you would be teaching art
to university students, nonetheless.

So if you would like, I could
put in a word on your behalf.

I mean, Christ,
I couldn't wait to get out

of that place fast enough
when I was younger.

Right about now, I'd say beggars
can't be choosers.

What do I got to lose?

- Gas chromatograph!
- Micro-brewery.

I love having a bank
on every corner.

- I'll see you in court.
- It is the original absinthe recipe.

So...
what do you do?

Well, as of today,
I'm unemployed.

Shit.

I'm sorry to hear that.
That sucks.

It does suck, yeah.

Well, what...
what did you do?

As in why did I get fired?

No, what was your job?

My job was teaching art.

What university?

The University of PSU 34.

Right.
So you taught little kids.

Made like collages and shit?
That's cute.

Yeah, collages and shit.

It keeps them from pissing
themselves.

What is his problem?
Is he always an asshole?

He's actually a really
brilliant painter.

Really?
What style do you paint?

He's an abstract...
abstract impressionist.

Expressionist, but that's fine.

When was your last show?

My last show was September 10th.

This Sept... of this year?
I didn't hear about it.

2001. I'm sure you were at
a Hamptons function

snorting cocaine or on a yacht.

Okay, you know what?
I think you've had enough.

Yeah, not nearly.

You think you can maybe
stop being such a jerk

and just not embarrass me?

No, Amy, it's okay,
don't worry about it.

It's no problem.
Actually, I...

I think I was on a yacht
snorting cocaine in 2001.

See? What he said!

- I should go, actually.
- What are you talking about? Just stop.

I've got two children that my
life revolves around at home.

Remember? One's about this tall.
The other's this tall.

Jesus, James, come on,
Alexis is babysitting.

- It's fine.
- That's exactly why I need to get home.

- Excuse me.
- James.

James! James!

James!
What are you doing?

What does it look like
I'm doing?

I'm going home.
Go back to your party.

- Go be a social butterfly.
- Don't do this.

Do what? I'm going home.
I'll see you later.

No, the whole point
in being in a relationship

is that we actually
do things together.

Otherwise, what's the point?

We do do things together.
What are you talking about?

Look, lounging on your couch
with carryout watching a movie

once your kids go to sleep
has kind of lost its luster.

Look, I'm bored!

I'm sorry I bore you.

I just want to have fun,

and I don't really
want to play house anymore.

Okay, here it comes.
Go ahead, go ahead.

I can't do this anymore.

I tried.
I really did.

I'm just not in a place
for that kind of commitment.

Really, after the day I had,
you're gonna do this to me?

I really am sorry.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

I have to talk to you girls
about something important.

Yeah, did you get dumped again?

What? No.
Who told you that?

So you're saying that you
and Amy are still together then.

If you must know, we decided
to part ways amicably.

What's "amicably"?

It means we broke up
on good terms.

- It means she dumped him.
- Stop it, Alexis.

It's not nice!

Are you okay, Daddy?

I'm fine, sweetheart, I'm fine.

Sometimes relationships
just don't work out.

Or in your case,
they never work out.

- Shut up, stupid!
- Alexis...

- She's the one that hit me.
- Put a cork in it, okay?

Nobody wants to hear
your comments.

- Yeah, put a cork in it.
- Grace, Grace, Grace!

You, too. Now, listen.
I have to go to Buffalo today.

- Can I come with you?
- You can't, sweetheart, you have school.

- That's not fair!
- It's a quick one.

I'll back this evening,
and don't you get any ideas.

Are you gonna go see Ginny?

- Or Uncle Lou?!
- That, too, yes.

But no, I'm going to interview

for a teaching position
at the university there,

and that's what I was trying
to talk you girls about.

If you think I'm moving
to Buffalo,

- you're out of your mind.
- It's not just up to you, okay?

If I get a job there,
that's what we're gonna do.

I'm not going, I don't care
what you have to say.

- I'm excited.
- Shut up!

Alexis! We can't afford
to live here anymore.

I am tired of struggling.
I'm tired, do you understand?

- I can't do it.
- I don't care. I'm not going.

I'll stay in the apartment
by myself.

That's not an option, okay?
Because...

I have to put the apartment
on the market.

Fuck you!
It's not yours to sell.

Please don't talk to me
that way. I am trying.

You think I want to move
to Buffalo?!

Do you?
You think I wanna do it?

It's our house, not yours.
They left it to us.

Hey, don't worry, Dad.

I can get a job
at a piano bar or something

to make some extra scratch.

Who are you?

I'm the cure,
and you're the disease.

What is that, Terminator?

No.
Cobra.

Wow.

Hey, buddy.

Good times.

- What's wrong?
- Looks like I'm moving back.

Don't sound too excited
about it.

It's not just me
I have to worry about.

Jimmy, you're talking
about kids, babe, okay?

Kids are... kids are like
night animals, okay?

They just adjust.
They'll be fine.

You haven't spent enough time
with Alexis lately.

Wait a minute, this ain't
a democracy, cuz, okay?

What you say goes, period,
end of story.

Says the guy who has no kids.

Yeah, says me.
Let me tell you another thing.

Parents nowadays, they give
their kids too much freedom

to speak those little
fucking minds, all right?

Was it like that
when we were kids? No.

No, it wasn't, but your father
whooped your ass every day.

Are you suggesting
that I smack Alexis around?

Yeah, I think you should beat
the shit out of your daughter.

No, you jerk-off, but you still
gotta be firm, okay?

With an iron fist, velvet glove.

Okay, can we not talk
about this?

- I'm stressed enough as it is.
- Let me tell you one more thing, okay?

That piece of shit shaped me
into the person I am today.

So like him or not...
which I motherfucking don't,

okay, he taught me respect.

You know what?
You missed your calling.

You should've been
a child psychologist.

Well, compliments
of Uncle Lou for Gracie.

- You're welcome.
- What the hell?

- Copland? Fucking Copland?
- Yeah, so what'?

So what?
She's 12 years old?

Please, Jimmy,
we didn't watch those movies

- when we were kids?
- And look how you turned out.

My God,
what, are you hungry?

Marron! You always whine
when you're hungry

ever since you were a kid!

We'll go get you something
to eat, how's that sound?

I have to get to the airport.
Let's go.

- Hi.
- Dad, how was it?

Did you see Uncle Lou?

I did. I did.

Did he, maybe, I don't know,
leave something for me?

Yes, he did, Grace,
but what did I tell you

about watching those kinds
of movies?

I don't want you...
What are you doing?

Why not?
It's just research.

Research for what, honey?

You're not old enough,
end of story, okay?

Way to throw a wrench
in the program!

Okay, calm down.

Where is your sister?

In her... room?

Why is that a question?

Hey, Alex...

My God!

Get off.

Shit, fuck.

What the fuck is going on?
Is this what you call studying?

What the fuck
is going on in here?!

It's not what it looks like,
I swear, man.

Get your clothes on.
Get your clothes on.

- Get the fuck out!
- Be quiet!

- Cool out, homey.
- Homey?! Homey?!

Excuse me, homey?!
You calling me homey, homey?!

Get your clothes on
and get out of here!

Get over here.
Get outta my house.

You can't be grabbing me
like that!

My shoes! You can't be
grabbing me like that!

I can grab you any way I want!

Want your shoes? Here.
Don't ever fucking come back.

Open this door.

- No, leave me alone!
- Open the goddamn door!

- No, I hate you!
- Yeah? Well, you're gonna hate me a lot more

because we're moving to Buffalo!

I'm not going!
You can't make me!

Yes, I can,
you better believe it.

Fuck you!
I'll just move in with Oscar!

You will be lucky
if you ever see

that little piece of shit again.

Matter of fact, you are lucky

if you see anyone again
until you're 18.

I'm not going!
You can't tell me what to do!

- You're not my father!
- I'm the closest thing you've got!

Just go away forever!

Honestly, I wish I could!

But you and I are stuck together
until you're old enough

to move out on your own!

Hey. Hey...

Sweetheart, I...

we were just yelling
at each other, okay?

We were angry.
We don't mean any of that, okay?

I'm sorry you had to hear that.

Dad, snap out of it, okay?

The world ain't
all sunshine and rainbows.

It's a very mean
and nasty place,

and I don't care
how tough you are!

It will beat you down
to your knees

and keep you there permanently
if you let it.

What the hell is that from?

Rocky Balboa.

Okay, okay, listen,

we gotta limit the time
you spend with Uncle Lou okay?

Let's go do kid things.

Let's eat candy
and watch cartoons.

- Candy gets in my teeth.
- That's fine.

You can have bad teeth
for one night.

Wouldn't want to leave
Beethoven, would we?

No.

Why isn't everything packed up?

I hate you.

Good, pack that up, too.

And that, too,
wouldn't wanna forget that.

You're so annoying!

I can't believe
we have to live here.

Lexi, you've been coming here
for ten years, bade.

Used to love this place,
remember? True or false.

Yeah, you know, that's because
I always knew we got to leave.

And now because of him,

we get to live in the country
like a bunch of redneck farmers.

All we're missing
are the fucking chickens.

Yeah, but we ain't got chickens.

Yeah, yeah, I really like
what you've done with the place.

Yeah? Good, 'cause that's
how it's gonna stay.

You know you have closets,
right?

And you know you're annoying,
right?

Will you please
just unpack the boxes?

Put your clothes away.
We've been here for a week.

- It's a mess.
- It's my room. It's my mess.

Everything's exactly
where it should be, in boxes.

Whatever, just keep the door
closed then.

It was closed.

One out of two ain't bad.

Could be a little tighter.

OMG! It's my first time
playing this arrangement.

I'm just saying
it sounds a little loose.

Honestly, Dad, put a cork in it.

I am.

- Cut it out!
- Shut up.

- Give it back!
- No!

- It's mine!
- It's mine.

Dad!
Alexis, stop!

You call this a tomato
or a "tomahto"?

- "Tomahto"?
- It's a tomato.

But you know what?
You're a good kid.

I knew that.
What's in there?

You know what that means?

- No.
- That means when you spit in the sky,

it winds up in your face,
so what I'm telling you

is you don't ask me my business.

Are you kidding me?
I never give my secrets away.

Never, but when you get
a little older, kid,

I'll tell you some stuff,
but don't tell Lou.

Don't tell anybody, all right?
Now give that a shake.

Shake it up. Give it a shake.
There you go.

All right, you wanna
drizzle it on there.

Just drizzle it,
stick your pinky out like that.

The drizzle
becomes drazzle like that.

And that's where the love is.
Go ahead, put it on.

- There you go.
- What is taking so long, for crying out loud?

Ginny's about the pass out
over here from malnutrition.

- Hi, Aunt Tiff.
- Hey, munchkin. Keep an eye on these two.

They'll put too many onions
on the salad.

- It's two small onions.
- Two small onions, get out of here.

It's too many!
It gives me angina.

- You know this, come on!
- Honest to God, marron.

You break my balls.
They're like grapefruits, Tiff.

Hurry it up,
you know you don't want us

ordering takeout, do you,
for crying out loud.

She had a box of wine
at the house.

She'll be drunk by the salad.

So, girls, how was your dinner?

It was delicious.

Alexis?

Fine.

Okay, hot plate coming through.

What is this?

Fresh cannolis,
mascarpone cheesecake

hot out of the oven.

You guys didn't make these.

You're singing like
a bird over here.

- What I tell you about secrets?
- I'm just kidding.

- Thank you for dinner.
- Our pleasure, our pleasure.

Where you going?

Going to meet
with Sarah's friends.

Okay, fine.
Be home by 10:30, all right?

10:30, are you kidding me?

I got to stay out
later than that in New York.

That was New York.

Sarah gets to stay out
until 11:30.

This is bullshit, Grace is gonna
be awake when I get home.

Alexis... have a little respect
for your father.

I would.

But he's not here.
He's dead.

Still dying to have
one of those?

No. Who wants cannolis?

I'm super psyched you're here,
though.

We're gonna have
so much fun together.

I'm not staying long, right?

Why not?

I'm moving in with my boyfriend.

Wait, really?
He has his own place?

I mean, basically, like,
it's his parents' place,

but they are never there,
they're always traveling.

What does he look like?
Do you have a picture?

Is he cute?
Is he tall?

OMG, he's so cute.

I'd give anything to be like you

and get out of
this lame-ass town.

Hey, you guys want another beer?

I have one.

I'm gonna go pee, okay?

You want one?

Sure.

I'm Christian.

Alexis.

You want a drag?

No, I don't...
I don't smoke.

I don't really drink either.

What's with the beer then?

Well, it's easier to pretend
you do then say you don't.

Fuck, I'm sorry.

I know it's, like, super early,
but I have to go.

Come on, I have to go to.
I could walk you.

Yeah? Okay, cool.

I can't thank you enough
for the house,

for just everything.

I'm so glad I've got you here.
So glad.

How's the transition going?

It's strange.
It is strange, you know?

I'm not... I'm still not used
to the no sirens

and no garbage trucks
at night, you know?

I would think
that would be a blessing.

You would think.
You would think.

But, you know,

the silence just forces me
to be in my own head.

And I don't want to be there.
I want to be present.

My head is a bad neighborhood.
It's a ghetto.

It'll change.

Yeah?

I hope so.

Grace seems to be adjusting
very nicely.

She's gonna love Robert.

- I hope so.
- Yeah, she will.

He's an amazing teacher.

And, Alexis...

How's she behaving,
generally speaking?

Generally speaking,
she's a big fat fucking asshole.

Like,
just the worst asshole ever.

Generally speaking.

Well... give it some time.

Now why you guys say that?

Why do old people say
give it time?

Fuck off!
Old people say!

I'm just saying you have
the least amount of time.

It's just odd.
Just an observation.

Time to get up!

Alexis! Wake up.

Come on. Let's go.
Get up.

- What you want?
- Come on, you gotta get up.

- Get up.
- It's only 8:00!

- What are you doing here?
- I'm aware it's only 8:00.

But you're gonna be late
for work, let's go.

I don't have a job.
What are you talking about?

You do now.
Now come on, let's go.

Over my dead body I have a job.

Over my dead body I'm paying
for your shit anymore.

Speaking of which,
if you don't move your ass

that computer and your phone are
gonna be a thing of the past,

you understand me?

- What is...
- Get out!

Jesus, it smells like
a barn here.

Reeks of cigarettes.

Meatball parmesan

Meatball parmesan

Hey, there she is,
right on time.

She's all yours.

Go in the back.
Grab an apron.

Go.

You could smile.

Here comes this guy.
Hey, Zigzag.

You're two minutes late.

It happens again,
I take it outta your pay.

Yes, sir, my apologies...

Go stutter your way
back to the kitchen.

You eating a meatball sub
at 9:15 in the morning?

Tiff, go ruin somebody's hair.

You wish you had hair
I could ruin,

you bald motherfucker, come on.

Holy shit.

- Hi.
- Hey.

What are you...
what are you doing here?

You know, just being forced
to work against my will.

Yeah, me too.
Well, no not forced.

More like persuaded if I ever
want to go away for college.

Anyway, I'm really glad
you're working here.

Okay.

There's my girl!
Hey, Lexi, bear.

Hi, Aunt Tiff.

So you know what?
I'm gonna do you a favor.

I'm gonna poach you
from this guy.

You come work for me
at the salon, you know?

Yeah, I think this is actually
gonna be fine, though.

Hey, C, why don't you take Alexis in the back,

bring her up to speed
on walking the beat, huh?

- Yes, sir.
- It's not NYPD Blue, you meathead.

Wait, you're not gonna
introduce me to your friend?

Christian, James.

- Pleasure to meet you, sir.
- How you doing, Christ... ooh, sir, I like this guy.

- Okay, that's enough.
- Who is this guy?

- Why are you blushing?
- Okay, bye.

Why is she blushing?
Okay, fine.

I'll be back
to pick you up later, okay?

Whatever.

Oh, boy. Good luck.

Yes, okay, yeah, no.

I'll call you later this week.
Okay, bye.

Do you make a habit of hovering
over women you don't know,

or is it my lucky day?

Oh, no, I...
I wasn't lingering.

I'm just...
I'm trying to find the...

Spit it out.

I'm new on campus.
I'm trying to f...

- Are you a student?
- No, God, no.

Whoa, is this school not good
enough for the likes of you?

What? No, I... I just, um...

You seem very nervous.
Are you all right?

Because I tend to have
that effect on people.

I'm fine, I'm just... I'm looking
for the administration building.

I can see my...
my sense of humor

has not traveled
across the pond.

I just don't want to be late
on my first day.

First day of what?
Janitor?

Is that what I look like?
Do I look like a janitor?

No, I'm teaching here
next semester.

Well, we don't want you
to be late on your first day.

I'm Bridget, by the way.

James.

I will show you
where you need to be.

- That'd be very nice. Thanks.
- Sure, let's go.

So are you a student?

I wish.

Thank you, but, no,
theater department.

- Art department.
- No.

- Yeah.
- No.

- Yeah.
- No, they didn't tell you.

What? Tell me what?

Mrs. Morrison decided
not to retire.

That position
is no longer available.

- What?!
- I can't believe they didn't tell you.

What are you talking about?

I just moved my whole life
to this place!

- What are you talking about...
- Calm down, calm down.

- I'm fucking with you.
- That's not funny.

- I'm sorry.
- No, that's not funny.

I don't think you understand

that you nearly gave me
a heart attack.

We really need to work
on your sense of humor.

You are very uptight.

Maybe you need to work
on your jokes.

See, now that,
that's what I'm talking about.

- Yeah.
- Come on, we'll be late.

Drama people.

Five rules you must abide by.

"When you're on the clock,
you're on the beat,

and when you're on the beat,

APB"?

Awareness, performance, bravado.

- Are you serious?
- Dead serious.

And then the fifth one
is the most important one.

So make sure you remember it.

"Never, ever belittle, insult,

or voice any displeasure
outwardly

for the God of cinema himself,
Sir Sylvester Stallone".

- You kidding me?
- Yo, Adrian, I did it!

What? It's...
it's from Rocky.

Yeah, I know,
and it was terrible.

Well, you should see
my Adrian impression.

It's even worse.

You're really pretty
when you smile.

I have a boyfriend.

Yeah, no, I meant...

So, tell me, how do you like
living here so far?

I love it.
It's like a new adventure.

Yeah, have you met
any new friends yet?

Uncle Lou, Denny, Dino,
Aunt Tiff, and you, too.

You're sweet.
I love you too, darling.

But I mean, you know,
friends your own age.

Not really.

Well, it's important
to have friends your own age.

Well, I don't really get along
with other kids my age that well.

Yeah, I understand.

But, you know, you might
give it a shot because,

who knows, you might find
a new best friend.

No, way.
Uncle Lou is my best friend.

You excited
to have a new teacher?

Super excited.

Yeah, I think
you're gonna like him.

I've known him forever.
He's a wonderful musician.

That was beautiful.

You are truly gifted.

Thank you.

Ready to try
something different?

Sure. Yeah.

Okay.
This is where we're going.

Now, what I want you
to do now is just...

Find it.

That's it.

You got it.
Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Okay, now let's pick it up
a little bit, huh?

Let's take it to...

Come on, come on.
Pick up a little bit.

Yeah, take it somewhere now.
Take it somewhere.

That's okay, it's okay.

You're doing fine.
Hey, little darling.

What's wrong?
We're not finished just yet.

I would like to call Ginny.

Is something the matter?

I'm wanna go home.

Why so sudden?

I don't feel well.

Well,
if you don't feel well,

then by all means, but...

...you're not leaving
because something else

is bothering you, are you?

I don't like that music.
I don't want to play it.

You ever play the blues before?

Then how you know
you don't like it?

You can't say you don't
like something

- till after you tried it.
- I just did.

Little darling,
almost catch the rabbit

don't make a stew.

You can't eat no rabbit
you almost caught.

I don't eat rabbit stew.

All right then.

Guess we better give Ginny
a holler.

So if he's not your dad,
who is he?

- It's a long story.
- We have all day.

Hey, Love Puppy,
and Dreamweaver, order 27 is up.

James is my father's best friend since
they were little. They both grow up here.

It ain't gonna walk itself to the
table, all right?

So why is he taking care
of you and your sister?

Because both
our parents are dead.

Enough with the commiserating.
Get back to work.

No more flirty flirting,
you got it?

- Yeah.
- How'd they pass away?

Was it an accident?

They worked in some financial
offices in the Twin Towers.

You mean on 9/11?

My God.
I'm so sorry.

- It's not like any of this was your fault.
- I'm sorry...

- Did James work in one of the buildings, too?
- No.

He was an artist, a painter.

He had to give it up
when he started taking care

- of me and Grace.
- How old was he?

Like early 20s or something.

That's pretty hard-core.

I mean, like, one second, you're
this, like, cool New York City artist,

and then the next,
you're Mr. Mom.

I mean, damn.

He must really love you guys
for him to give all that up.

We should probably
get back to work.

- Lou's gonna kill us.
- My God!

I got two skeletons at table 27!

The rest of the restaurant's
dying of starvation!

Kindly hurry up!
Let's go!

See you later, bye.

Another reason
why I don't drive.

Can never find my bloody keys.

Always the last place
to look.

How was your first day?

It was a happy medium.
Yeah, that's all right.

Couldn't have been as bad
as my first day.

- Oh, yeah, why's that?
- I never actually made it here.

I crashed my car into a fence.

Couldn't actually believe

there were white picket fences
here in America.

- You thought that was only in the movies?
- Yeah, it was very distracting.

My mind told me to take a left.
My heart told me to go right.

You Americans couldn't keep
the damn steering wheel

- on the right side, could you?
- Well, what makes you Brits

- think it's the right side?
- Very clever.

Thank you, been working
on my sense of humor all day.

God, you gonna ask me if I need
a ride home or what?

- Get in.
- Yes, sir.

I gonna make a pit stop, though.

When I was a young 'un
just about your age,

my mama and daddy worked two jobs
to buy me my first piano.

A Chickering.

Some of the sweetest sounds
I ever heard

came out of these
old wooden boxes.

I called her Jolene.

You got to name your piano,
little darling.

Treat her good
like it's her best friend.

They need love just like we do.

And they got souls, too.

My daddy was a musician, too.

He was out there on the road
most of the time,

but he took me along with him
from time to time when he could.

That man could pick up
any instrument,

any instrument,
and in a matter of hours,

it was like they'd known
each other for years.

Just had that ear, you know?

He was a good man.

He taught me to appreciate
the classics.

Everyone's classics.

My daddy said that all music
has a common root,

but it ain't easy.

You got to work at it,
and it takes discipline.

But all music had a common root.

Like it was spiritual.

Ginny's here.
I have to go.

Yeah, well, we best not
keep her waiting.

I love this place.
I come here all the time.

Oh, my God! Bridgey, hi!

Where have you been?

- Okay, you're desperately in need of Tiff's TLC.
- Tell me about it.

How the heck do youse two
know each other?

We just met
at my new job on campus.

Yeah, this is the girl
I was telling you about.

This girl, the one who
works at the university

that you forgot
that I worked at?

- That girl, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!

- Right, that girl.
- I'm glad you two finally met.

Get over here, you big gorilla,
come say hi.

Gorilla coming through.
Hey, guys.

- Buddy boy.
- Good first day, huh?

How about this,
whatever you want's on house.

Dino's eggplant parm
is to die for.

I know,
I did almost die from it.

Wait a minute,
come again and what?

No.
I had the worst food poisoning.

It was terrible.

Yeah, sick as a donkey,
just... yeah.

Well, I don't know what to say.
I'm gonna fuckin' kill Dino.

You should not have
taken Mario's

fell-off-the-back-of-a-truck
produce, I told you that!

- It's too good to be true!
- He's your cousin!

I was doing the family a favor!
I don't even like the...

Yeah, you do!
He'll kill you in here!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- No, I didn't! No, I didn't!

Guys, guys, guys.
I'm pulling your leg.

It was a j...
it was a really bad joke.

I'm fine.
I'm really sorry.

I love your food.
I love your food.

- Lou... I love your food.
- You like my food?

Best Italian around.

Wait a minute,
best Italian around?

- Yeah, best Italian around.
- You hear that, Tiff?

How you like me now?
Best around.

Best around.
Bing, bong! See you later!

- You like to stir the pot.
- I don't know what you're talking about.

- You ready to go or what?
- I'm waiting for you.

Yeah, well,
I've been waiting all day.

You got your hands full
with that one.

You two have to come out with us
on the town, the four of us.

After you come see me.

What are you... no.
I just met her.

- Okay? We're not dating.
- I'm standing right here.

It's gonna be fun!
Loosen up!

I got my daughter
waiting in the car.

- You're welcome.
- He's very uptight.

Here.
Take this with you.

Never know when
you're gonna get the blues.

Thanks.

Boy, why don't you use
your keys?

Mind your manners now
and say hello to Miss Grace.

Hi, Miss Grace.

Hi.

Hey, kid, you come back
anytime you want, okay?

Maybe next time,
you try some rabbit.

Yeah. Okay.

Bye.

So how was your
first day at work?

Actually,
surprisingly not that bad,

but I still hate it here
and pray to God every day

that we're gonna go home.

Well, honey,
this is home now, okay? So...

You know, I felt the same way
when I first moved here.

Moves can be really scary
and definitely lonely,

but once you settle in,
it does get better.

Well, it's different because
you weren't abducted at gunpoint.

That's true. Slightly dramatic.
But I definitely wasn't abducted.

I can tell you one thing,
though.

It's the best decision
I ever made.

Change is good.

It's... it's good for the soul.

If you have one.

Maybe in a couple of years,
you can go back there for college.

If I can make it that long,
that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Brilliant.
Buffalo's really not that bad.

If you want,
I can take you around.

We could go clubbing,
get some ugly tattoos,

pick up boys... look at
your father's face right now.

- No, he's...
- I'm not... I'm not her father.

Sorry, kid, I was just beating
you to the punch there.

Um, actually,
this is me up on the right.

- Okay.
- Alexis, it was lovely to meet you.

- And I hope to see you soon.
- Bye.

- Thank you for the ride.
- It's my pressure... I mean pleasure.

Try not to abduct
any more children.

Well, I'll do my best.

- Yeah, try really hard.
- Okay.

- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

I like her.
Is she your new girlfriend?

What makes you say that?
I just met the girl.

Didn't think so.
She's not your type anyway.

Really?
And why's that?

- She's too cool for you.
- Oh, is that right?

Oh, no, oh, my God.

Turn that off!
My God, you're so annoying!

I hate you, you little...

So...

How's it going?

You know. Awesome.

Just give it some time.

Yeah, I know, time.
You said that before.

Where's Grace?
How'd it go?

Awesome.

I can't catch a break.

Peanut?

I heard you didn't like it
at Robert's.

You wanna tell me what happened?

I don't like it here anymore.

Okay, why not?

Because I just don't.

I understand,
but you gotta try, right?

- I don't want to. I want to go back home.
- Is it a teacher thing?

You want me to find you
a different teacher?

No, Dad,
I just want to go back home.

This is where we live now, okay?

And you and your sister
are just gonna have to try

to adjust to it,
you're gonna have to try.

- But I don't want to.
- Right, you don't want to.

Grace, sometimes in life,

you gotta do things
you don't want to do.

It's not fair!

Grace.

That's not very nice, is it?
This is somebody's art.

You wouldn't like it if someone
crumpled up your art

and threw it on the floor,
would you?

I'm putting it here so you
have to think about it.

Dinner's gonna be ready
in half an hour.

- I'm not hungry.
- Right, I get it.

Leave me alone.

Um... is this a date?

I don't know, what constitutes
a date for you?

No idea.
We don't date in England.

You don't date in England?
What would you call this?

Um, going out.

- Out?
- Yeah.

I mean, I guess we're outside.
This is out.

So what's your story?
Always a teacher?

Was that always the life path
or what?

- Was it yours?
- Not really, no.

Yeah, me either.
No, I'm... I'm a writer.

A playwright... I mean, I was...
back in England, I was...

I'm sensing this is something
you don't want to talk about.

Very perceptive of you,
James, yeah.

You know what's interesting?

You're not masking it
with humor.

My God,
are you analyzing me?

I'm not analyzing you, no.
I'm just...

I'm just curious.
What's... what's your story?

Story, um...

My story is very long
and quite boring

and I don't really
wanna talk about it.

All right.
Well, listen.

It was nice knowing you.
We had a good run, right?

If you want to get home,
you just jump over there

and swim back, see you later.

The city bus'll
pick you up up there.

Are you ending
the date right now?

Is this a date?

I thought we were
just going out.

Fuck.

You really gonna make me
tell you?

- I told you my story.
- Fine, fine.

Fine. Oh, my God, um...
okay, I...

I wrote a play.
A really good play.

- And my ex-boyfriend...
- I don't like this guy already.

Will you just shush
so I can finish the story

- that you really want to hear.
- I'm zipped.

All right, my ex-boyfriend,
he was also a playwright,

and he read my play,
and he really liked it.

And so he took it,
and he made it his own,

and he put it up,
and he, you know,

technically, stole my play.

You mean he plagiarized
your work?

I... I actually... I let him.

What?

Yeah, no, I gave it to him.

I said he could
put his name on it.

I was really young

and really naive
and really in love.

Jesus Christ, I...

And it was a mistake.
It was a really big mistake.

Someone taking credit for work
I did is like my worst...

...that is my worst nightmare
as an artist.

Yeah, no,
it was quite nightmarish,

but I realized how toxic
our relationship was,

and I decided I needed a change.

And I came to America.

America.

I'm impressed at how
you handled that.

I would have been a ball
of resentment.

My mother always said resentment
is like drinking poison

and expecting
the other person to die.

Your mom sounds like
a smart lady.

Yeah, yeah,
she was a smart lady.

So, yeah, I moved on.

I scraped myself off the floor
and started afresh

and, um...
you know, choices.

We learn to make better choices

and try not to make
the same mistakes.

And don't fall in love
with, um...

- Thieves?
- Yes, thieves!

- Robbers?
- Yes!

Assassins of dreams?

- And narcissists.
- And narcissists.

Yeah. The end.

That's...
that's the... the end...

...of my story.

I'm... I'm hungry.

- I'm hungry, too.
- Yes.

- Can I buy you dinner?
- Yes.

- Yes? Shall we?
- Yeah.

All right, so...

Well, I'm...
I'm just curious.

- Yeah?
- What's the play called?

- No.
- No, come on.

And then I won't say
anything more about it.

- You wouldn't have heard of it.
- Try me.

Okay, it was a play called...
Ship to Carrier.

- No way.
- Fuck off.

- Ship to Carrier?
- You haven't heard of it.

Yes, I have!

Alexis was in that play
at her high school.

I've read that play.
That's your play?

- That's a great play.
- Yeah, no shit, I wrote it.

- Well, allegedly. Allegedly.
- I'm gonna hit you.

- I miss you.
- Same.

Why won't you Skype?

'Cause my Wi-Fi
isn't working at the house.

You're such a liar.
I know you're not at home.

Yeah, I am.

You can call me
on the home phone.

Damn, girl, why you bugging?

I'm not, just call me
on the home phone.

Look, I gotta bounce, okay? My
moms wants to take me to dinner.

That's fucking bullshit.
I know your parents aren't home.

I know they're in Europe.

Look, I'll holler at you later
when you cool the hell out.

- All right?
- Are you kidding me?

Oscar, don't you dare
hang up on me.

Yo, you're breaking up.
I can't hear you.

- Oscar!
- Peace.

Oscar!

At the tone...

At the tone...

Okay, you've been cheating on me
with somebody.

I can tell,
but they didn't do a bad job.

Gracie, pumpkin?

You know, I love having you
here more than anything,

but would do you really rather
sweep this nasty hair,

not yours, of course, than play
that beautiful instrument?

I'm just trying
to figure things out.

Well, you'd better hurry it up.

We don't want you to end up
being a janitor or something.

Not that there's
anything wrong with that.

My first husband was a janitor.

Actually, there was something
wrong with that.

- You were married before?
- I was.

- Does Uncle Lou know?
- I hope so.

He moved me out of my ex's place
when I started dating him.

- Wow.
- Don't get all judgy with me.

You're the one sweeping floors
when you should be

sweeping hearts
playing that pretty music

in concert halls
or what have you.

Well, this is clearly
not my work,

but I'll fix it, don't worry.

You need to loosen up.
I'm gonna massage your face.

We're gonna get
some champagne in you.

It's going to be fine.

All right, I'm leaving.
How do I look?

Actually, surprisingly cool.
Just untuck the shirt.

You look like a math teacher
or something.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, come on, you're an art teacher.

- Okay.
- How come we can't go?

Because he's going on a
double date, stupid.

- Shut up, Alexis.
- Don't call her stupid.

Listen, I'm leaving you in charge.
I want Grace in bed by 11:00.

Wait, what?
I'm not a little kid anymore.

Fine, I will be home
before then anyway.

I'm trusting you.

Trusting you.
Don't be so melodramatic.

This isn't the first time
I've watched her.

That's what I'm worried about.

Just go, have a fun time.

We'll be here
watching this movie.

- It's okay.
- Wanna give me a hug?

Wanna wish me good luck?

I'm trusting you guys.

- Yep. You know you can.
- Behave yourself.

All right. See you.

Okay, text James in an hour,
ask him where he is

and when he's coming home,
then text me what he says.

- Got it?
- Why?

'Cause I'm going out.

Good kid.

Ooh... you're in trouble.

Eyes, eyes, eyes.

Eyes, eyes, eyes,
eyes on the menu now

so I can order my food.

Alexander breaks out
this big bag of weed.

Get the... it was your weed,
not Alex's.

Stop it now.
Go ahead.

Anyway,
we smoke the whole pound.

It's a pound
out of a six-foot bong,

- nonetheless, which was yours.
- That was mine.

Only reason I know it's six foot

'cause he's standing next to it
and the bong would be up here.

He'd have to stand up
on the stair and go like this...

That is also true.

Listen, behave yourselves.

Ooh... you're
gonna be in big trouble.

What are you looking at?

So we go to this diner, okay?

And we eat like kings.
Like kings.

I mean everything.
You name it, we order it.

Now, the bill comes.
We had planned to dine and dash.

- You know what that is?
- Yes, I know what that is.

- You have that in England.
- Yes, we do.

Okay, now,
what we don't realize.

Place we're in?
Ready for this?

It's only a local cop diner,
that's all.

- No.
- Three knuckleheads.

And what does this moron
Alexander do?

Eats a French fry or something,
right, off the cop's plate.

But wait a minute.
It wasn't just one cop's plate.

Four cops, five cops,
every plate he could find,

he's grabbing food,
throwing it everywhere.

- It's a sea of blue.
- Cops everywhere.

You get arrested?

So we make a mad dash
for the front door.

- Hello, honey?
- Two cops end up walking in there...

Hello... what?

Honey, I... slow down.

- Where's Alexis?
- Jimmy, what's up?

Okay, hold on,
I'll be right there, okay?

I'll be right there.
I'm on my way.

Please explain.

We have to go.
I'm sorry. We have to go.

- We'll get it.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Do what you gotta do.

- Where's Alexis?
- She's not home yet.

- I'm gonna wring her neck.
- Just calm down.

Gracie, come here.
Let me see you, darling.

Are you all right?
Let's see.

She's fine.
It's... it's a sprain.

There's no broken bones.

She'll be in fighting form
in no time at all.

- Don't you worry.
- Okay.

Sorry, Bridget,
this is my mom, Ginny.

- Hello, Mrs. Maxwell.
- Just call me Ginny.

- Never a dull moment here.
- No.

Let's get you upstairs,
precious.

Come on, you must be so tired.
Come on.

I'm going to be right back.
Okay? Sorry.

Don't be sorry.

Hey...

James has been looking for you.

So?

Why are you even here?

Well, your sister got hurt,
and I wanted to help.

Well...
we don't need your help.

So why don't you just leave?

Because they all
eventually do anyway.

That's not very polite.

Because I'm British and proper,

and we have manners,
not like you silly Americans.

Fuck, I hope I don't
talk like that.

All right, let's get you to bed.

Don't touch me.

Hey, where were you?

Why weren't you watching
your sister?

What's the matter with you?
Are you drunk?

Yes.
And I was at a party.

With boys and drinking
and smoking.

Are you even aware
that while you

were out celebrating,
your sister got hurt?

Does that even occur to you
in your selfish little world?

- I'm gonna go.
- If you could just wait one second.

- Does it?
- I hate you.

I hate it here.
I hate this whole fucking place.

I don't understand you anymore.
You used to be my friend.

You used to want
to be good and hang out.

- What happened? Is it my fault?
- Yeah, I think so.

Is it my little friend-on-friend
experiment?

- Is that what's gone wrong?
- Why'd you even do that?

Did you just feel bad
that my parents were dead?

When did you become so nasty?

Maybe when I realized
that you were all I got.

You know what you are?

You are an ungrateful,
spoiled little girl.

That's what you are.
Excuse me. You are not an adult!

You are a little girl,
you understand?!

Yeah, I know I'm not as precious
as your little Grace.

I'm not perfect like her.
I'm just a big pain in your ass!

- Well, you said it, not me!
- Fuck you.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I just can't take her anymore,
you know?

- I get it. Yeah.
- You know? Yeah.

Maybe let her sober up,
talk to her in the morning.

I'm gonna go
and get her some water.

Okay.

Where's the kitchen?

- The kitchen that way.
- Okay.

- I can get it for you.
- I'm okay.

I like your room.

Thank you.

Just keep drinking this.

Why wouldn't you tell me what
it's like to have a teenager?

How could you forget
to tell me about that?

If I had,
would you have believed me?

It'll be all right.

You're not the first parent
to feel this,

and you certainly
won't be the last, you know.

I gotta go. I'm tired.

I love you, Mama.

That new girl upstairs.

- Yeah?
- I like her.

- You do?
- Yeah, she's a keeper.

Don't screw that up.

- Love ya.
- Love you.

I, um... think you need
a rather large drink.

Okay. Cheers.

Cheers. Kids.

Want to hang out a little bit?

After all that,
I can understand if you didn't.

Yeah, I'll hang out.

- Cool.
- Cool.

That's from a long time ago.

That's probably from 11,
12 years ago.

These are all from
a long time ago.

Anything from this decade?

James, when was the last time
you painted?

I mean, I paint all the time,
when I'm teaching, so.

That's not what I meant.

I start and stop a lot.

I haven't finished anything
in a long time

- that I'm proud of, so...
- Why?

I'll give you two guesses.

They're the excuse.

No, they're not an excuse.
They're a reality, okay?

It's hard to raise kids
and be a struggling artist.

These are really beautiful.

- Thanks.
- I love the colors.

It makes me uncomfortable,
but thanks.

They should be
on someone's wall.

Yeah, they're... they are.
They're on my wall.

I see them.
Who else needs to see them?

- I'm being serious.
- So am I.

Okay, fine, we'll save this
conversation for another day.

- Will we?
- To be continued.

Well, that's presumptuous
of you to think

that it's gonna be continued.

Are you just gonna keep talking
or are you gonna kiss me?

- You want another one?
- Yes.

- Kiss or scotch?
- Both.

Which order?

Bridget, Bridget,
we gotta get up.

- Five more minutes.
- Come on, you gotta get up.

You gotta get up, okay?
Get up.

- Good morning.
- Come on.

My God, we really drank
that whole bottle.

Pretty much.

Come on, you gotta get up, okay?

Caffeine.
I need some caffeine.

Coffee or tea would be really
great right now.

I'll get it for you
on the way home, okay?

We gotta get up, okay?
Come on.

Okay.

I guess now would be a good time
to tell you I was a virgin.

- What?
- That was... that was as a joke.

Okay, we really gotta go.

I can't have you here
if the girls are here.

It's a mistake, okay?
Come on.

- Yeah,
- Come on, let's go.

Okay, okay.

Can you pass me my dress?

Listen...

With everything going on
with the girls, I don't...

It's fine.

No, I just don't...

I can't be emotionally available
for somebody else's needs.

I understand.

I can see you have
enough stress as it is.

I don't want to add to it.

But, um... but for the record,
what happened last night,

I wanted it to happen.

It wasn't a mistake for me.

Hold on a minute, Bridget,
that's not what I meant.

Bridget, that's not what I meant
when I said that, I...

Just wanted to apologize
for last night.

I'm really sorry
that Grace got hurt.

I should have been there,
and I know that.

I screwed up.

But it won't happen again,
I promise.

Okay. Okay.

I'm actually pleased you can
acknowledge your mistake.

That's mature of you.
It is. It is.

Yeah, you know why?
You know why I'm pleased?

You know why I believe you?
Because you're grounded, okay?

You're grounded
until I say otherwise.

You can't do that.
I've never been grounded.

- Well, it starts now, okay?
- That's fucking bullshit.

Keep your voice down.

That computer and that phone
are mine now, okay?

- I am taking them away.
- You can't do that.

I can't?
Until you get your own money

and you pay for your own things,
they belong to me.

- Do you understand?
- What about the money my parents left for us?

What happened to that?

This house,
this house belonged to me.

I fu... no, it belonged
to my fucking mother, okay?

I... she's nice enough
because I respect her

to let us live here.

Shut your mouth.
Shut your mouth.

Say one more word,
and I am taking that,

and I am flushing it down
the fucking toilet.

- You think...
- Don't say another fucking word.

You're grounded.
Get your shit and go upstairs.

Leave it there and go upstairs.

Fuck.

Yeah?

Does he get the girl in the end?

Nope. She kills him.

Can we talk about
what happened with us?

Us? Since when
have we been an us?

Well, I mean...

- We did consummate our...
- Our what?

Are we going steady now?

Because I specifically remember
you singing a different tune.

Emotionally unavailable,
if I recall.

Yeah, but I...

You know, the next time
you insert your manhood

into a woman,
regardless of whatever else

is going on in your life,

try not to tell her
it was a mistake.

I didn't mean it like that.

Get out of the habit of saying
things you don't mean, James.

Look...

I woke up the other morning...

...and I panicked, okay?

With everything
that happened with Alexis

and just the girls, in general.

There's a protocol
I have to follow with kids.

Or at least I try to follow,
you understand?

And... I got flustered.

It's okay. Let's make not make
this more than what it really is.

We are adults,
and sometimes adults

just get drunk and shag,
it's fine.

- Can't we just start ov...
- I have a lot of work to do.

Okay.

Hey.

Can you shut the door?

Sure.

Fuck.

What are you doing?
You're hurting my wrist!

- Give it back!
- Let go, shush!

Grace! Enough.

Shh, settle,
settle, settle down!

Stop it, Alexis,
you're so annoying!

Guys! Get your shoes on.
We're going to the grocery store.

Why do I have to go
and she doesn't?

I said so.
Stop talking over me, Grace.

Listen, Ginny's coming here
to take care of you.

She's not going to be here
for a minute.

Are you okay by yourself
while we go?

- Yes. Yes.
- Are you sure?

You're not gonna
climb up on tables

- and try and get things off shelves, right?
- No.

No monkey business.

- I'm watching you.
- All right.

What happened to Bridget?

Haven't seen her around lately.

I'm not gonna talk about that
with you right now.

She's bored of you already.
That was fast.

Much faster
than the other girls.

- Ninety-nine, Black Forest ham.
- That's me, thank you.

How much longer
am I grounded for?

Until I see a real change
in your attitude,

not this manipulative crap
you do to get what you want.

That's bullshit, okay, I work,

and I do everything
you ask me to do.

Keep it up, Okay?

You know, I never I'm never
gonna forgive you for this.

And that, my dear, is exactly
why you are still grounded.

We don't like that bread.

You don't want people to
know about it, don't talk about it.

What I'm saying is how in
God's name did you screw that up

because that girl's an angel?

Her heart's as big
as Lou's fat head.

I don't want to talk
about it, okay?

- I don't want to talk about it.
- To be fair, I think James

- is kind of out of practice.
- What?

I'm not out of practice on anything.
That is not the case.

I think being raised
by a single mother,

- that you should know better.
- Are you not gonna let this go?

- Can you please let this go?
- Don't leave me out in the cold.

- You gotta fill me in.
- There's nothing to bring you in on, man.

I promise, there's nothing
to bring you in on, okay?

James's... crush, they...
they just kind of

- weren't singing the same song.
- That's not true.

- That's not the case.
- Oh, no?

Who tells a girl the morning
you slide the pepperoni

into the calzone that it was...
look, she knows...

What, that it was a mistake?

Who does that, Jimmy?
I'll tell you. A schmuck.

Ease up on my boy!

Probably hammered out
of his mind that morning.

Sometimes we guys say things we
don't mean the way you take it.

My sentiments exactly, okay?
Yes, it's a slip of the tongue.

No, that's what you
should've been doing.

With your mouth.
In front of my mother.

You think she doesn't know?

I'm going to help Lou
and Dino in the kitchen.

Don't tell them
what they slaved all day

making for dinner was a mistake.

We got a deal!
We got a deal!

Don't listen to 'em.
You should know by now.

They're all cuckoo
for Cocoa Puffs.

- Favorite color.
- Orange.

Brown.
Favorite food.

Uncle Lou's spaghetti meatballs.

I like the cheeseburger
with French fries.

Hey, that's my second favorite.
I have a really good one.

Okay, what animal would you
most want to get as a pet,

but like, you can't say
a dog or a cat.

Easy, a Pig-

No way, me, too.

I'm still working on my dad
to try and get one, though.

- That would be so cool.
- I know, right?

- Wanna play something together?
- Sure.

Any suggestions?

How about "When the
Saints Go Marching In"?

Ready?

One, two, three.

I really like that shirt.
Where'd you get it?

Do you think I would look good
with a pixie cut?

Do I think I would...

Hey, can I use your phone
to check Instagram?

Yeah.

- Thanks.
- Why?

King Asshole took my phone away.

OMG. I wouldn't
even be able to deal.

Yeah, I know,
it's like losing a limb.

So there's a party tonight.
Think you can sneak out?

Christian will be there.
I think he's crushing on you.

Are you still dating
that cute boy from New York?

Tiff, pass the bread.

If I can't have bread,
you can't have bread.

You definitely don't need
any more bread.

Oh, my God, what the f...

Look what the cat dragged in.

Hello.

Sorry I'm late.
Couldn't get a cab.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi, here. Sit down.

All right,
basta with the hellos.

Let's eat before this
beautiful food I made gets cold.

I brought you a peace offering.

Well,
that's very nice of you.

Figured we should lay off
the hard stuff.

- Yeah.
- Pun intended.

I'm really glad that you came.

Okay, I'm gonna make this short
and sweet because I'm starving

and Tiffany's over here
drooling at the mouth, right?

- You're losing the rest of your hair.
- I love you.

Okay, so, Jimmy,
thank you for having us.

We love you. To family.

There's nothing better
than this.

Friends old and new.
Your feast awaits.

- Any.
- Many!

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

- Salud.
- Salud, cheers, love you guys.

Now may I please have the bread?

I'm a drying machine.
Let's go.

Come on, come on.

Thank you so much for dinner,
Mr. Maxwell.

My pleasure, Sarah.
Are you going somewhere?

- You leaving?
- I'm going to a friend's house.

Could you tell Alexis
I'll call her tomorrow?

Yeah, sure. Will do.

Thank you.

Last one.

Well, look at that.

I'm telling you. You remember?
We found the trash in the trunk.

You remember?

Wait a minute.
Hey, Jimmy, how about this?

Tell us about that catastrophic
attempt to make the basketball team!

Wait a minute,
we're in fifth grade,

fifth grade, he's 4'2"
going up against a guy 6'6"!

He keeps bouncing his head
off the guy's hip bone!

Ends up with a mild concussion!

Oh, my God! He joins the debate team!
Jimmy...

It's funny, no, it's funny.
Where's Alexis?

She's upstairs.
She went to lay down.

- She's upstairs?
- She didn't feel well.

Excuse me one second.

Excuse me one second,
one second.

That concussion never healed!

Alexis? You okay?

Alexis.

Nobody knew the brakes were bad.

So how were we supposed
to know that?

So we ended up getting lucky.
It's crazy.

Hey, hey, sorry,
she's not upstairs.

- Are you sure?
- I'm positive, and the back door is unlocked.

Did you try her cell?

I can't try her cell.
I took it away from her.

Sweetheart, where's your sister?

I... I don't know.
I swear, I don't.

Maybe she snuck out,
met up with Sarah.

- You know where she is?
- You kidding me?

I've had this kid tracked
since she's born.

I know exactly where she is.

She's on Buse and Jersey Street.

Lou, Dino, get your stuff.
We're going there, let's go.

- Where's my Rocky...
- Time for Rocky? Oh, God.

Did you wash it?

You go upstairs.
I'll check the kitchen.

- Sarah!
- Oh, shit.

Are you effing kidding me
right now?

Dad...

Listen to me.
Where's Alexis?

I don't know, I swear.
She's not here.

All right, come on, we're go...

Eddie Jenkins?

Aren't you a little old
to be in a place like this?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
it's not what it looks like.

If I see this ever again,
ever, I swear to God

they're gonna find you
in pieces, you understand?

- Okay.
- And you.

Back to the piss test.
Let's go.

Does anybody here know Alexis?

Nobody here knows Alexis?
No?

Can you explain this
with the eggs?

You guys are wasting food.

Move. Alexis!

Alexis!

Down the hall, bro.

Alexis.

Alexis!

Alexis, open this door!

Jimmy, I looked downstairs.
No luck.

No, no, they're in here.
I hear something.

- Open this door!
- Step back.

What the hell is going on here?!

Where the hell is Alexis?!
I knew you were...

Shit.

Shit. I'm sorry.

I'm looking for my daughter.
I didn't mean to intrude.

I'm sorry.

Have you seen a girl
named Alexis?

You haven't seen
a girl named Alex...

Just keep doing
what you're doing.

- You're doing great.
- Carry on. Sorry about the door.

- You hear from her?
- Not yet.

This is all my fault, okay?

She could be down a well somewhere.
Who knows where she could be.

- This is all because of my mistakes.
- Dad!

- You understand?! I have no idea where sh...
- Dad!

Alexis's phone is gone.

What do you mean, honey?
What do you mean?

How... how would she
have found her phone?

Listen, honey,
serious business time, okay?

Look at me, I'm not asking you
to rat anybody out, all right?

Now's not the time to hold back.
Look at me.

Where's your sister?

I told her where it was.
I was sick of her using my iPad.

She kept using it to text Oscar
and to check

on his Instagram
and Facebook page.

I'm sorry, but it was
just really annoying.

Are you mad?

No, no, honey, no,
I'm not mad at all.

Did you try to call her?

Yeah, but she won't pick up
or return any of my texts.

- So your friends will trace the phone...
- I'm doing it, Tiff.

I think I already know
where she is.

What do you mean, honey?

I just typed in Alexis's ID
and passcode

into Find My Phone, and, boom.

There she was.

- Shit, she's in New York.
- Let's go.

All right, you need anything...
let me know, all right.

Call me
if you hear anything, okay?

- I will you.
- Thank you. Shall we?

Okay, head to the city.
375 Greenwich.

Okay, got it.

Wait, wait, wait,
you're gonna break in?

I need you to stay down here
and be lookout.

- Okay, yeah.
- If anybody comes, you just whistle.

- No, wait, I don't whistle.
- I don't...

- Who the hell can't whistle?
- I don't know how to whistle.

Okay, fine,
can you stand down here

and just scream real loud
if someone comes?

What I can do is I can punch
in the face really hard.

Okay, you can't whistle.

You can't drive.
I'll have to teach you.

- Luckily, I'm a quick learner.
- All right, just shh.

Hey, hey, just be careful.

Okay, God.

Oscar! What the...

That's not my daughter.
Who is that?

That's not my daughter.
Where is my daughter?

- Please, Mr. Maxwell...
- Where is Alexis?

Where is she?! Where is Alex...
I will rip that thing off of you

and beat you
over the head with it!

Get the fuck out
or I'm calling the police!

Calm down.
You're not my concern.

Where's Alexis?
I know she was here.

- Where is she?
- She showed up out of nowhere.

I swear, I had no idea
she was coming.

And what happened?
Spit it out, motherfucker!

- What happened?!
- She got upset when she found out

I had a new little girly,
that's it!

My God, you're a moron.
Where did she go?

- Hey, where did she go?
- I don't know, man!

She whipped her phone at me
and took off!

Do you have any idea
where she is?

I need to know now.
Do you understand?

- Where did she go?!
- No, man, I don't, I swear.

Okay, here.

Take it.
I'm really sorry, yo.

Look, I never meant
to hurt her feelings.

But she moved away, you know?
Man's got his needs.

Man? Man?
You are not a man, okay?

Let's make something clear here.
You're a child.

Let me tell you something, okay?

You don't deserve one ounce
of her precious heart,

not one ounce
of her precious heart!

But you know what?
You know what?

You did her a favor.
Actually, you did me a favor.

So I should thank you.

Really, from the bottom
of my heart, thank you.

- No doubt.
- You're an idiot. You are an idiot.

Let me give you
a piece of advice, okay?

Put a condom on that thing
because the last thing

this world needs is another one of
your moronic asses walking around.

Get your hand out of my face,
outta my face!

How old are you?
How old are you?

- Why the fuck do you...
- Do yourself a favor.

Run, do not walk away
from this prick.

Hey, get out of here
with that, man. What?

Get... leave.
What are you doing? Get out.

You broke into my house.
Front door is that way.

Thank you, that's another favor
you just did me!

- I would've gone down the fire escape!
- No doubt.

- Fuck was that?!
- How old are you?

Okay, call me if you hear
anything, okay? Yeah.

- Anything?
- Nothing. She hasn't called home.

None of her friends
have heard from her.

Well, at least
we know she's here.

Here could be anywhere.

I'm a complete failure
as a parent.

That is complete
and utter bullshit.

Everything I did is wrong.

You love those girls,
and they love you.

You're doing the best you can.

Come on, that's just it.
None of it is good enough.

Look at this situation we're in.

This is because of my mistakes
as a parent.

It's not her fault.

- Nobody's perfect.
- Nobody's perfect?

Yeah, kids fuck up.
Parents fuck up.

- We all fuck up.
- Come on, Bridget.

My 16-year-old is out here
roaming the streets

with no money,
she's got no phone...

- James? James? James!
- God knows where she could be!

All right, listen, I'm gonna use
my teacher voice right now.

Shut the fuck up and think.

Where would she go?

Where is the one place
in this world

she would feel completely safe?

That's one key,
that's two keys, that's...

Come here.

Always the last place
you look, right?

You're a genius.

You go ahead.
I'll wait here.

Okay.

Mouse?

Mouse?

Mouse...

Mouse.

I was looking all over for you.

You had us all worried
to death, you know.

Uncle Lou put an APB out on you.

Awareness, performance, bravado?

No.

A real one.

Are you mad at me?

No.

I mean, honestly, I didn't think

I could be angrier
at another human being,

but seeing you
sitting here like this,

nothing makes me happier, okay?
Nothing.

You're just saying that
to get me to leave.

No, are you kidding?

Honey, honey, honey,
do you know what I would do

if something happened to you?

Promise?

Yeah, I promise.
Yeah, I promise.

This place is the only
connection I have left to them.

I'm sorry I wasn't
conscious of that till now.

It's like I can hardly even
remember them anymore.

The more and more time
goes by, the more I forget.

- And the less that I miss them.
- No, listen, sweetheart...

And it makes me feel like the most
terrible person in the world.

No, sweetheart,
sweetheart, sweetheart, listen,

listen to me,
you are not a terrible person.

No, listen.

Forgive me for saying this,
okay?

But you are just
a heartbroken little girl.

No, you are, you have the weight
of the world on your shoulders,

and that's what it is
to be a young person.

It's okay. It's okay.

There is a part of your parents
in you and your sister,

and I see it in you guys
every single day.

That's never gonna change.

I am not gonna let you
forget them.

You are hardheaded just like
your father, you know that?

- Really?
- Yeah.

Two of the most stubborn people
I've ever met in my life.

But you're also two
of my favorites.

I'm sorry I've been
such a bitch to you.

It's okay.

You didn't deserve any of it.

It's...
it's part of the job.

It's what I signed up for.

I remember that day.

What day?

Outside the office.
I heard you.

You didn't have to take us.
You chose to.

Oh, well, nah, I like
to think about it that...

...that we chose each other,
you know?

Things happen for a reason.
All right.

I love you, James.

I love you too, mouse.
So much.

I don't like it here.

Come again?

- The city's not...
- No, I heard you.

- I heard what you said.
- Yeah.

I just want to hear you
say it again. Say it again.

The city's not the same
anymore, okay?

Wow.
How the mighty have fallen.

I don't like it here either.

- Really?
- No.

It's not the same for me either.

Want to go home?

Where's home?

Buffalo?

Sounds weird to say that,
doesn't it?

I guess it feels better
than being here.

Let me ask you
a question, though.

How the hell did you get here?
How did you get here?

Well... I may or may not
have used your credit card.

Smart. Smart person.

That's you.
That's you and me.

Is it?

You're still a grounded person.

That's fine,
I don't even have a phone.

- I threw it at Oscar.
- I know, I saw Oscar.

We can talk about it
on the way home, let's go.

Let's go.

What happened?

She's good.

Gracie, do you want to tell him
or do you want me to tell him?

Okay.
She got her period.

Oh. Okay.
Uh... what do I do?

Do I need a cake, balloons?
Is there a party?

- We got it under control.
- No cake.

Well, this might
make you feel better.

Dad. For real?

Yeah. For real.