All language subtitles for The.Sum.Of.Us.(1994).FS.DVDRip.DivX3LM.HI

[Jeff]
FIRST TIME DAD TOOK ME TO GRAN AND AUNT MARY'S

FOR MY HOLIDAY, I WAS,
I DON'T KNOW, 8 OR 9.

AND I REMEMBER PLAYING FOOTY
WITH GRAN AND MY COUSINS, IN THE FRONT YARD.

[Jeff laughs]

YOU KNOW THOSE DAYS
WHEN EVERYTHING'S PERFECT?

ONE OF THE GREATEST
AFTERNOONS OF MY LIFE.

YOU SEE, GRAN WOULD
FORM US ALL INTO ONE TEAM,

AND SHE'D BE THE OTHER.

IT AMAZES ME TO
THINK OF THE HOURS

AND HOURS SHE'D SPEND
PLAYING WITH US.

SHE NEVER SEEMED TIRED.

LATER IN THE AFTERNOON,
SHE'D PLAY LUDO,

OR SNAKES AND LADDERS,
OR TIDDLYWINKS..

I USED TO LOVE
THOSE GAMES WITH GRAN.

SHE USED TO KEEP
AN OLD MONOPOLY SET

HIDDEN UNDER THE STAIRS,

BECAUSE MARY
WOULDN'T LET HER PLAY IT.

YOU SEE, REAL STRICT
SALVATION ARMY, MARY WAS. I MEAN, GRAN, TOO,

BUT JUST NOT AS BAD
AS MARY, YOU KNOW.

[Laughs]

THIS ONE TIME, MARY
WENT OUT FOR A WHILE.

AND THE MINUTE
SHE'S OUT THE DOOR,

GRAN WHIPS OUT THE
OLD MONOPOLY BOARD.

"NOT A WORD TO
MARY," SHE SAYS.

[Laughs]
THAT WAS THE BEST GAME OF MONOPOLY I'VE EVER PLAYED.

THOUGHT ME AND GRAN
WERE DOING SOMETHING REALLY NAUGHTY,

[Laughs]
REALLY WRONG.

FIRE AND BRIMSTONE
STUFF, YOU KNOW.

SOME PEOPLE MAY THINK THAT
THOSE DAYS WITH GRAN AND MARY

HAD A BAD INFLUENCE ON ME.

COULD BE RIGHT.

AFTER ALL, I STILL PLAY FOOTY.

STICK YOUR
FRIGGING SHOULDER IN HIS ASS!

[Grunts]

[Player #1]
WATCH IT.

ONLY DOING
WHAT HE WANTS.

[Players grunting]

[Player #2]
EASY!

[Sister Madley by
Crowded House playing]

HUH!

NOW YOU'RE HEADING DOWN
TO GET SOMEONE

JESUS, YOU BLOKES!
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? COME ON.

OH, GO ON,
GET OUT OF HERE. GO ON.

ALL THE PEOPLE THAT
YOU'RE STANDING ON

ALL THE PEOPLE THAT
YOU'RE STANDING ON

NOW YOU'RE HEADING DOWN
TO BE SOMEONE

SOMEONE THAT YOU'VE SEEN
IN A MAGAZINE

YOUR PREMONITION
IS COMING TRUE

OH BABY YOU'RE
NOT SO GREEN

OH BABY YOU'RE
NOT SO GREEN

NO BABY YOU'RE NOT SO

SISTER MADLEY
WAKING UP THE DEAD

YOU'RE SYSTEMATICALLY
STEPPING ON MY HEAD

YOU'RE SISTER MADLEY
WAKING UP THE DEAD

SYSTEMATICALLY STEPPING
ON MY HEAD

NOW YOU'RE HEADING DOWN
TO FIND SOMETHING

SOMETHING THAT YOU BURIED
IN YOUR BACKYARD

THE POSITION IS
COMING THROUGH

FROM ALL THE DIRT
THAT YOU'RE DIGGING UP

FROM ALL THE DIRT
THAT YOU'RE DIGGING UP

NOW YOU'RE HEADING DOWN
TO BE SOMEWHERE

G'DAY, MATE.

SOMEWHERE YOU IMAGINED
IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS

THE OPPOSITION
IS COMING THROUGH

YOU'RE A WOMAN OF
THE WORLD, GERT.

WHAT DO YOU RECKON?

ARE YOU THINKING
OF GETTING HITCHED AGAIN, HARRY?

SISTER MADLEY

JUST LOOKING.

WAKING UP THE DEAD

SYSTEMATICALLY STEPPING
ON MY HEAD

SISTER MADLEY
WAKING UP THE DEAD

A-HA-HA

SYSTEMATICALLY STEPPING
ON MY HEAD

NOW YOU'RE HEADING DOWN
TO GET SOMEONE

SOMEONE THAT YOU
SHOULD'VE HAD YEARS AGO

THE POSITION
IS COMING THROUGH

ALL THE PEOPLE
THAT YOU'RE STANDING ON

ALL THE PEOPLE
THAT YOU'RE STANDING ON

ALL THE PEOPLE
THAT YOU'RE STANDING ON

YOU'RE HARD TO GET A HAND
ON SISTER MADLEY

WAKING UP THE DEAD

SYSTEMATICALLY STEPPING
ON MY HEAD

HEY, YO, SISTER MADLEY
WAKING UP THE DEAD

YOUR SYSTEMATICALLY
STEPPING ON MY HEAD

[Breathing heavily]

I'M FUCKED.

[Harry]
WHAT WAS THAT?

I SAID I'M ROOTED.

[Coughs]

STOPPED OFF FOR
A QUICKIE ON THE WAY HOME DID YOU?

GOD, YOU'RE
OFF SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW THAT?

PUT A DIRTY MEANING
ON EVERYTHING.

[Laughs]
NOT LASAGNA AGAIN?

ARE YOU GOING
SENILE OR SOMETHING?

MASHED POTATOES
AND VEGGIES.

3 TIMES THIS
WEEK, ALREADY.

WHY CAN'T WE HAVE
A NICE LEG OF LAMB?

WE AIN'T GOT A
ROAST FOR YONKS.

THINGS AREN'T SO
WONDERFUL WHEN YOU'RE COOKING, YOU KNOW.

SAUSAGES AND CHIPS
ARE A REAL TREAT,

WHEN YOU'RE
IN THE KITCHEN.

I DID THAT NICE
CHICKEN CURRY LAST WEEK.

SO HOT IT BLEW
THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH OFF.

OH, I'M SORRY IF YOU
CAN'T STAND A LITTLE IMAGINATION IN MY COOKING.

I'LL STICK TO
FROZEN LASAGNA, FROM NOW ON.

HOW LONG IS IT
GONNA BE, ANYWAY?

NEARLY READY.

I'LL JUST GRAB
A QUICK SHOWER.

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
DECIDE TO TAKE A SHOWER,

JUST AS I'M
ABOUT TO DISH UP?

JUST AS I'M ABOUT
TO PUT THE FOOD--

YOU DON'T EXPECT E
TO SIT DOWN ALL SWEATY, AND SMELLY LIKE THIS--

WHY NOT?
DOESN'T USUALLY BOTHER YOU,

UNLESS YOU'RE
GOING OUT.

ARE YOU, GOING OUT?

WELL, AS A MATTER
OF FACT, I AM.

I THOUGHT I'D JUST
POP DOWN TO THE PUB, FOR A COUPLE OF BEERS. ALL RIGHT?

GOT A DATE?

CAN'T A BLOKE GO
OUT FOR A DRINK ON A FRIDAY NIGHT,

WITHOUT YOU MAKING
A LIFETIME ROMANCE OUT OF IT?

YOU DISH UP.
I WON'T BE 2 TICKS, ALL RIGHT?

HE'LL BE BACK
IN A MINUTE.

[Water dripping]

YOU HAD A SHOWER
THEN, DID YOU, DAD?

YES. YES, I DID.

YOU DIDN'T TURN THE
TAPS RIGHT OFF, AGAIN.

IS THAT RIGHT, SON?

EVERY TIME I GO FOR
A SHOWER, THE TAPS ARE DRIPPING.

NOW, I KNOW YOU DON'T
TURN THEM RIGHT OFF BECAUSE YOU THINK,

YOU'RE SAVING
THE WASHERS. BUT MATE,

I'VE TOLD YA,
THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FOR.

AND I'M A PLUMBER.
I CAN CHANGE 'EM.

AND A FEW
FLAMIN' WASHERS ARE A DAMN SIGHT CHEAPER,

THAN THE WATER RATES.
IT DRIVES ME MENTAL, DAD. YOU KNOW, IT DOES.

IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE
I'VE ASKED YOU THOUSAND TIMES. TURN THE FUCKING TAPS OFF!

YES.

THANKS.

SORRY.

VERY MUCH.

I WILL TRY.

[Sighs]

HE'S VERY
WROUGHT UP.

HE ONLY EVER MENTIONS THAT
WHEN HE'S WROUGHT UP.

[Chuckles]

HE MUST THINK
HE'S MEETING MR. RIGHT, TONIGHT.

HE WON'T BE EATING
ANY SARA LEE.

YOU'RE PROBABLY
WONDERING ABOUT THAT.

ABOUT HIM
MEETING MR. RIGHT.

WELL, "MIGHT AS WELL GET
IT OUT INTO THE OPEN,"

AS THE ACTRESS
SAID TO THE BISHOP.

HE WON'T BE MEETING
ANY GIRL TONIGHT.

HE'S WHAT YOU
MIGHT CALL "CHEERFUL."

CAN'T BEAR THAT
OTHER WORD.

SOME OF YOU WILL BE GOING,
"TSK, TSK, TSK, TSK, TSK, TSK," PROBABLY.

CAN'T SEE WHY, THOUGH.

HE'S A GOOD, HONEST LAD,
WITH A HEART AS BIG AS WESTERN AUSTRALIA.

AND HE'S AS MUCH A
FRIEND AS HE IS A SON.

HE'S A GOOD MATE.

MIND YOU, HE CAN
BE A NIGHTMARE TO LIVE WITH.

[Harry]
COME ON, YOUR DINNER'S ON THE TABLE.

YOU DIDN'T DO
THE LAUNDRY.

SORRY, I FORGOT.

[Jeff]
WELL I NEED A PAIR OF SOCKS. I CAN'T GO BLOODY BAREFOOT.

WELL, WHIZ DOWN TO
THE SHOP AND BUY YOURSELF A PAIR OF PANTYHOSE.

HA, HA, HA.
VERY FUNNY.

SUPPOSE I COULD WASH
A PAIR OF MINE AND DRY 'EM IN THE OVEN.

OH YEAH, AND
THE HOUSE WILL REEK OF BURNT NYLON,

LIKE IT DID
LAST TIME.

COME AND EAT
YOUR DINNER.

YEAH, YEAH,
2 TICKS.

I WOULDN'T WANT YOU GETTING
THE WRONG IDEA, THOUGH.

2 BLOKES LIVING
ALONE TOGETHER.

IT'S ONLY HIM.

I'M NOT THAT WAY INCLINED.

BIT OF A LADY'S MAN,
ME. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

WHEN I WAS HIS AGE,

I WAS A RIGHT
LITTLE ROOTER.

"RABBIT," THEY CALLED ME.

[Laughs]

TILL I MET HIS
MOM, THAT IS.

NO MORE FOOLING
AROUND, AFTER THAT.

I WAS FAITHFUL TO HER
FROM THE DAY I MET HER.

BECAUSE I KNEW I WAS
ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES.

I KNEW IT WAS LOVE.

THESE JEANS ALL RIGHT,
OR SHOULD I WEAR THE WHITE ONES?

HOW MANY PAIRS
OF MY SOCKS DID YOU BORROW?

I CAN ALMOST SEE
YOUR RELIGION.

YEAH, WELL,
IF YOU'VE GOT IT, SHOW IT.

HAVEN'T GOT THAT
MUCH TO SKITE ABOUT.

WELL, HARRY,
SIZE ISN'T EVERYTHING.

IT'S WHAT YOU
DO WITH IT THAT COUNTS.

HIS MOM ALWAYS
SAID THAT TO ME.

WHAT'S THAT FOR?
THAT'S NOT SPAGHETTI, YOU KNOW.

DON'T WANNA GET
MY NEW SHIRT DIRTY.

HAVE YOU ACTUALLY
MET THIS YOUNG MAN?

OR IS THERE
SOME YOUNG FELLA WANDERING AROUND SYDNEY,

WHO DOESN'T KNOW
YOU'RE ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO HIM TONIGHT?

WE'VE SAID
"G'DAY" A FEW TIMES, DOWN THE PUB.

AH! COURTING?

NO, DAD.
NOT YET.

BUT YOU NEVER KNOW
YOUR LUCK IN A BIG CITY, THOUGH.

[Jenny]
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, MOM?

NO, JENNY, I'M
NOT SURE AT ALL.

DO YOU WANT ME TO
COME IN WITH YOU?

NO.

THIS IS SOMETHING
I'VE GOT TO DO.

NOW. HMM!

[Car door opening]

WISH ME LUCK.

[Door closes]

NOW JUST RELAX,
MRS. JOHNSON.

HMM!

I'M GOING TO SHOW
YOU SEVERAL FACES.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO JUST
LET THEM DRIFT BY,

BUT IF YOU SEE ONE
THAT CATCHES YOUR EYE,

WE CAN GO BACK AND
HAVE A 2ND LOOK.

OH, MY GOD.
SORRY.

I'M A BIT NERVOUS.

OH, NO NEED
TO BE, DEAR.

YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE JUST TAKEN YOUR FIRST STEP,

TOWARD FINDING YOUR
PERFECT PARTNER.

HAVE A LOOK.

[Buzz]

OH!

MMM.

HMM!

[Harry]
YES.

I'LL GIVE THE
PARTY A CALL.

RIGHT. YES.
THANKS VERY MUCH.

[Jeff]
YOU EATING, OR WHAT?

WHO WAS THAT?

MAN ABOUT A DOG.

WHAT BLOODY DOG?

THERE'S TOMATO
SAUCE ON IT ALREADY.

YEAH. I KNOW.
IT NEEDS MORE.

[Sighs]

OF COURSE, SOME PEOPLE THINK
IT ISN'T VERY GOOD MANNERS TO READ AT THE DINNER TABLE.

SOME PEOPLE
HAVEN'T LIVED WITH YOU FOR 20 ODD YEARS.

SOME PEOPLE SHOULD
BE SO BLOODY LUCKY.

[Chuckles]

YOU SHOULD READ
A FEW MORE BOOKS, YOU KNOW.

MMM?

THERE'S A LOT MORE
TO LIFE THAN WHAT YOU SEE ON TELLY.

LIKE THIS BLOKE,

SIR RICHARD BURTON.

ONE OF THE
GREATEST EXPLORERS THAT EVER LIVED.

FIRST WHITE MAN
TO SEE THE SACRED STONE AT MECCA.

AND THE FIRST
MAN TO DISCOVER THE LAKES,

IN AFRICA, THAT
ARE THE SOURCE OF THE NILE.

A MAN--

I THOUGHT
HE MARRIED ELIZABETH TAYLOR.

WHO COULD
TAKE ON THE WORLD, AND CONQUER IT.

YEAH. A COUPLE
OF TIMES.

NOT AFRAID
OF ANYTHING.

YOU SHOULD READ
IT, YOU MIGHT PICK UP A FEW HINTS.

WHAT FOR?

I DO NOT WANT TO GO
CHASING ALL OVER AFRICA,

LOOKING FOR A
PLACE TO HAVE A SWIM.

ANYWAY, THE
WHOLE WORLD HAS ALREADY BEEN DISCOVERED.

NO, IT HASN'T.

WHICH BITS
ARE MISSING?

THERE'S AMAZING THINGS
WAITING FOR YOU JUST AROUND THE CORNER.

WONDERFUL THINGS,
LIKE LOVE. THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER
SAID IT ONCE. I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.

"THE GREATEST
EXPLORERS," SHE SAID,

"ARE THE EXPLORERS
OF THE HUMAN HEART."

IS THAT WHY SHE
BECAME A DYKE?

YOUR GRANDMOTHER
WAS NOT A DYKE!

SHE WAS LICKING
AUNT MARY'S PUSSY FOR 40 YEARS.

WHAT ELSE DO
YOU CALL IT?

I ADMIT HER RELATIONSHIP
WITH MARY WAS...

INTIMATE.

BUT SHE WAS NOT A DYKE.

LESBIAN, PERHAPS.

LEZZO, DYKE,
WHAT'S THE DIFF?

WHAT'S THE DIFF?

WHAT'S THE DIFF?

THERE'S A WHOLE
LOT OF FLAMING DIFF.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER WAS
A VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

AND JUST BECAUSE
SHE FOUND HAPPINESS

AFTER YOUR
GRANDFATHER HAD DIED,

JUST BECAUSE, IN HER GRIEF,
SHE TURNED TO MARY,

AND THE 2 OF
THEM FOUND COMFORT IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS,

DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE
RIGHT TO CALL HER NAMES.

HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE IT IF I WENT AROUND CALLING YOU

PANSY, FAIRY, POOFTER?

YOU DO, HALF THE TIME.

ONLY WHEN I'M
ANNOYED WITH YOU.

NOW EAT YOUR VEGGIES.

NO, I'VE HAD IT.
I'VE DONE MY DASH.

NOW, YOU KNOW,

[Sighs]

YOU KNOW HOW YOU
GET ANGRY WITH ME,

WHEN I DON'T TURN THE
TAPS OFF IN THE SHOWER?

LOOK, I'M SORRY.
IT JUST GIVES ME THE SHITS.

NO, NO, NO, NO.
DON'T APOLOGIZE. LISTEN, LISTEN.

EVERY TIME YOU FINISH
A MEAL, YOU ALWAYS PUSH YOUR PLATE AWAY FROM YOU.

ALWAYS.

NOW, I'VE TOLD YOU UNTIL
I'M BLUE IN THE FACE, BUT YOU ALWAYS DO IT.

IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHERE WE ARE. HERE, OUT,

BUCKINGHAM PALACE,
FOR ALL YOU CARE.

YOU'D BLOODY DO IT THERE,
AND IT DRIVES ME MENTAL!

IF THAT'S
HOW YOU FEEL.

THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

THERE'S A SARA LEE
IN THE FRIDGE.

MMM-MMM. NO THANKS,
MATE. DON'T WANNA GO BREAKING OUT IN ZITS.

FACT IS, I'M
RUNNING LATE AS IT IS.

[Dishware clattering]

BIT EARLY, ISN'T IT?

WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT THE EARLY BIRD.

YES, BUT I DON'T THINK
THAT'S THE SORT OF WORM

THEY HAD IN MIND
WHEN THEY SAID IT.

AH, LEAVE THE
DISHES, I'LL DO THEM.

TA, DAD.

I'LL JUST, UH,
CLEAN MY TEETH.

SEE WHAT I MEAN?
HE HASN'T BEEN THIS EXCITED FOR AGES.

[Harry]
THIS ONE MUST BE QUITE SOMETHING.

YOUR DINNER'S
NEARLY COLD.

SORRY.

IT'D BE NICE IF YOU
SHOWED SOME RESPECT FOR YOUR MOTHER'S COOKING.

SOMEONE HAS TO.

I'LL GRAB
SOMETHING AT THE PUB.

GOING OUT
AGAIN, ARE WE?

BE NICE IF YOU
SPENT SOME TIME AT HOME, OCCASIONALLY.

IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT,
FOR PETE'S SAKE.

YOU SMELL LIKE A
BOMBAY BROTHEL, TOO.

GOOD STUFF THAT,
DAD. "OBSESSION," IT'S CALLED.

IT COSTS A FORTUNE.

SO, WHERE
ARE YOU GOING?

DANCING?

YOU NEVER BLOODY
LET UP, DO YOU?

I TOOK DANCING LESSONS
TO MEET PEOPLE, THAT'S ALL.

WASN'T AS IF IT WAS
BALLET OR ANYTHING.

I ONLY ASKED
WHERE YOU WERE GOING.

AND YOU WATCH
YOUR TONGUE IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER.

SORRY, MOM. I'LL
SEE YOU LATER.

BE GOOD, DEAR.
HAVE A NICE TIME.

AND IF YOU CAN'T BE
GOOD, BE CAREFUL.

SEE? I DO TRY.

NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU DON'T
REALLY TRY.

YOU NEVER GIVE
HIM AN INCH.

[Water running]

[Television playing]

I WAS SURPRISED BY
THE NUMBER OF PRODUCTS I HAD IN MY KITCHEN CUPBOARD

THAT WERE UNFRIENDLY.

I'M ALSO SO SURPRISED AT
HOW HARMFUL THEY WERE,

THE ONES THAT
I DID HAVE.

YOU, UM.

YOU DON'T FEEL
LIKE GOING OUT?

THERE'S A FILM
ON TELLY.

DON'T WORRY, I'LL
WATCH IT IN MY ROOM. COAST WILL BE CLEAR.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT
THEN. HOW DO I LOOK?

GOD'S GIFT?

DID YOU USE A WHOLE
BOTTLE OF AFTERSHAVE?

BIT FIERCE, IS
IT? "OBSESSION."

HE SAID IT WAS
HIS FAVORITE.

PROBABLY QUITE NICE,

IN MODERATION.

WHERE ARE YOU
MEETING HIM? AT THE PRINNY?

YEP. THAT'S IF
HE SHOWS UP.

I THOUGHT YOU
HAD A DATE.

YEAH, WELL,
BUT, YOU KNOW, KNOWING MY LUCK.

THERE'S PLENTY
OF OTHERS.

NO, DAD, THIS
IS DIFFERENT.

HE'S, UM,

SOMETHING ELSE. NICE.

I EXPECT HE'LL
TURN UP, THEN.

I HOPE SO.

YOU'VE GOTTA
HAVE A BIT MORE FAITH IN YOURSELF, JEFF.

IF YOU WERE MY SON'S
FRIEND, YOU KNOW, I'D BE PLEASED IT WAS YOU.

THINGS DON'T ALWAYS
WORK OUT LIKE THAT IN THE REAL WORLD, DAD.

YOU BETTER NOT
KEEP HIM WAITING.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
COP YA. LATER.

HAVE FUN.

THANKS, MATE.
DO MY BEST.

HE'S 24 YEARS OLD,

AND HE'S NO VIRGIN,

THAT'S A SURE
AND CERTAIN FACT.

BUT HE'S CARRYING
ON LIKE IT WAS HIS FIRST EVER DATE.

YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED
THAT HE LACKS A BIT OF CONFIDENCE IN HIMSELF,

IN THE ROMANTIC STAKES.

I CAN'T SEE
WHY. I MEAN,

HE'S A NICE
ENOUGH LOOKING LAD,

IF YOU LIKE THAT
SORT OF THING.

BUT, UH, ABOUT 3 YEARS
AGO A TERRIBLE THING HAPPENED TO HIM. HE, UH,

FELL IN LOVE.

IT DIDN'T LAST THAT LONG.

THE OTHER BLOKE, UH,

KEVIN, I THINK IT WAS,
OH, HE WAS A NICE ENOUGH LAD, BUT A BIT FLIGHTY.

TRAINING TO BE A
QANTAS STEWARD OR SOMETHING.

AND AFTER
ABOUT 3 MONTHS,

HE JUST MOVED ON TO
GREENER PASTURES, AND,

IT JUST ABOUT
BROKE JEFF'S HEART.

IT'S TRUE.
GRANDMA WAS A DYKE.

WELL, LESBIAN.

I USED TO GO AND
STAY DOWN THERE FOR MY HOLIDAYS, YOU KNOW.

THEY WERE THE
BEST TIMES.

[Jeff]
JUST A LITTLE BRICK-AND-TILE DOWN BY THE HAWKESBURY.

NOTHING FLASH,
BUT CLEAN.

[Jeff laughs]

GRAN WAS ALWAYS POLISHING
EVERY BIT OF WOODWORK IN THE HOUSE.

SO YOU'D GET UP IN THE
MORNING AND THERE'D BE

THIS WONDERFUL SMELL
OF LAVENDER FLOOR POLISH, ALL OVER THE PLACE.

GOOD NIGHT.

[Laughs]
THAT REMINDS ME OF A FUNNY STORY.

SUPPOSE IT'S
A BIT OFF.

I WAS THERE, ONCE.
SOME OF MY COUSINS WERE STAYING, TOO.

SO I HAD TO SLEEP
IN THE SPARE BED

IN GRAN'S ROOM,
YOU KNOW.

I REMEMBER, I COULD
SEE IT SO CLEARLY.

WAKING UP THAT
FIRST MORNING,

LOOKING ACROSS TO
GRAN'S BIG OLD DOUBLE BED,

AND THERE WERE
GRAN AND MARY.

TUCKED UP IN BED,
WRAPPED UP IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS.

GRAN WAS SNORING,
I REMEMBER.

[Jeff sighs]

I LAY THERE LOOKING AT THEM
FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.

JUST LOOKED NATURAL
SOMEHOW, YOU KNOW?

LIKE THE MOST NATURAL
THING I'D EVER SEEN.

LIKE LOVE.

[Phone ringing]

HELLO?

[Harry]
JOYCE JOHNSON?

NO. NO, I'LL
JUST GET HER. MOM, IT'S FOR YOU.

HELLO?

AH, LOOK, YOU DON'T KNOW
ME, UM, BUT MY NAME'S HARRY MITCHELL,

AND I GOT YOUR
NAME FROM DESIREE'S INTRODUCTION AGENCY

OH, YEAH. UM,
MR. MITCHELL,

UM, PLEASED
TO MEET YOU.

PLEASE. CALL ME HARRY.

OF COURSE. I'M
SORRY. HARRY.

BUT--

LOOK, IT'S ALL RIGHT. UM,

IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE DONE THIS SORT OF THING, TOO.

OH, YOU MEAN, UM, YOU
DON'T USE DESIREE'S ON A REGULAR BASIS?

NO.

NO, NOTHING
LIKE THAT.

UM,

NO, I'M INTERESTED
IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, AND UH,

THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING TO ME IS COMPANIONSHIP.

UH, I WAS THINKING
THAT WE SHOULD, UH, MEET, HAVE A MEAL,

YOU KNOW, SOMEWHERE,
UH, QUIET, CLASSY.

UM,

I HAPPEN TO BE A MEMBER
OF THE ROZELLE LEAGUES CLUB.

ISN'T THAT A BIT ROWDY?

WELL, THEY, UM, YOU KNOW,
HAVE A VERY NICE DINING ROOM, ACTUALLY, AND, UH,

THERE'S DANCING.

PROPER DANCING.

WELL, BUT IF, YOU KNOW,
YOU'D PREFER A MOVIE OR RACES OR WHATEVER--

NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE DINNER AT YOUR CLUB.

YOU WOULD?

MMM.

OH, THAT'S VERY
NICE, JOYCE. UH,

WELL, THEN I'LL--I'LL
PICK YOU UP ON SATURDAY,

SAY HALF PAST 12?

YEAH. OR I COULD
MEET YOU THERE, IF YOU LIKE, HARRY?

NO, NO, NO, NO. IT
WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.

UM, I'M LOOKING FORWARD
TO IT, I PROMISE.

ME, TOO.

SO, UM, TILL
SATURDAY, THEN.

BYE.

BYE, THEN.

[Music playing]

I KNOW YOU WOULD
MAKE AN APPEARANCE

IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME

LONG TIME COMING

[Men chattering]

WHERE AND HOW

CAN I FIND THAT SOMETHING

IF YOU FEEL LIKE I DO

AND IF I FEEL
THE SAME WAY, TOO

AND YOU CAN GET YOUR HIGH

I'M TRYING WITH
ALL MY MIGHT

[Dance music playing]

G'DAY, BAXTER.

HI, GEORGE.

THAT'S BETTER.
COULDN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK IN THERE.

CHEERS.

YEAH, CHEERS.

"BAXTER"?

OH, IT'S A JOKE. THE
FOOTY TEAM, YOU KNOW.

[Both]
"BACKS TO THE WALL, BOYS, HERE COMES JEFF."

SO, YOU PLAY FOOTY.

JUST THE LOCAL
PUB, JUST AMATEUR. BIT OF A LAUGH.

WELL, IT'S MORE
THAN A LAUGH, FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD.

WHAT GOES ON IN
THOSE LOCKER ROOMS?

OH, WELL, IT'S
A MAN'S MAN'S WORLD, MATE.

IT'S ALL SPIT
ON THE FLOOR

AND "HOW MANY SHEILAS DID
YOU ROOT LAST NIGHT?"

DO YOU PLAY ANY SPORT?

YEAH. SWIMMING.

I DO A LOT
OF SWIMMING.

KEEPS ME AWAY FROM
HOME A FAIR BIT, I SUPPOSE THAT'S WHY.

ALL BY YOURSELF,
IN THE WATER,

NO ONE TO HASSLE
YOU, GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, YOU KNOW.

WON A FEW MEDALS,
TOO, AT SCHOOL.

WOULDN'T MIND SEEING
YOU IN YOUR SPEEDOS.

I'LL SHOW YOU LATER.
GOT 'EM ON NOW.

IF YOU WEAR
YOUR FOOTY SHORTS.

YOU'RE ON.

ISN'T THIS
SOMETHING SPECIAL

ISN'T THIS SOMETHING
SPECIAL, BABY

BABY, BABY, BABY

I REALLY LIKED YOU
FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU AT THAT PUB.

IT TOOK ME YONKS TO
PLUCK UP THE COURAGE TO EVEN SAY "G'DAY."

I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T
INTERESTED, YOU KNOW.

LIKE, I'VE SEEN YOU,
TOO, AND IN THE PARK. I WORK IN THE PARK.

AND I'VE SEEN YOU
THERE, JOGGING,

IN YOUR FOOTY GEAR.

THOSE SHORTS LOOK
REALLY SEXY ON YOU.

WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE,
ABOUT, ABOUT, HOME, DON'T YOU GET ON, AT HOME?

OH, MOM'S ALL RIGHT,
BUT DAD'S A BIT TRICKY, YOU KNOW.

HE'S ALWAYS PICKING
ON ME, FINDING FAULT WITH EVERYTHING I DO.

HE WENT THROUGH THE
ROOF WHEN I GOT MY JOB.

GARDENING? WHAT'S
WRONG WITH THAT?

HE SAID IT WASN'T
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. NO FUTURE IN IT.

BUT I'M BRINGING HOME
NEARLY AS MUCH MONEY AS HIM, ALREADY.

HE'S, I DON'T KNOW,
HE'S LIKE A STRANGER TO ME.

SOMEONE I
LIVE WITH, BUT DON'T...

KNOW VERY WELL,
AND, DON'T LIKE VERY MUCH.

THAT'S WHY I
TOOK UP SWIMMING.

THINGS ARE A
LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT AT OUR HOUSE.

DO YOU WANNA
COME HOME?

JUST PUSH IT OPEN.

[Door clicking]

[Jeff]
MAKE YOURSELF COMFY.

WANT A BEER?

WHERE'S, UH,

UH, IS YOUR DAD OUT?

HE'LL BE IN BED.

[Whispering]
WELL, SHOULDN'T WE BE A BIT QUIET THEN?

WHAT FOR?

IN CASE WE
WAKE HIM UP.

HA! HE WON'T BE
ASLEEP. NOT YET.

PROBABLY COME
AND SAY G'DAY.

I TOLD YOU, HE
KNOWS ALL ABOUT ME.

WHAT I DO AND
WHO I DO IT WITH.

I BRING BLOKES
BACK ALL THE TIME.

NOT THAT THERE'S
THAT MANY, I MEAN. I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO
SAY IS THAT DAD KNOWS, AND HE DOESN'T CARE.

WELL, IF YOU'RE SURE.

SCOUT'S HONOR.

IF THEY'VE GOT ANY LEFT.

COME ON.

SIT DOWN.

RELAX.

THAT'S BETTER.
CHEERS.

YEAH, CHEERS.

I'M REALLY GLAD
YOU SHOWED UP.

SO, WHAT ABOUT
THE OTHER TEAMS? THE FOOTBALL TEAMS.

YOU'RE JUST AN OLD
FOOTY PERV, AREN'T YOU?

UH-HUH.

[Laughs]

JUST 'CAUSE THEY'RE
BIG, BUTCH FOOTBALLERS

DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE
SUPERMAN, IN BED, YOU KNOW.

EVERY YEAR, THE TEAM
GOES TO MANILA,

FOR THE, YOU KNOW,
POST-SEASON HOLIDAY.

AND EVERY YEAR, THEY
END UP IN A BROTHEL.

WE'VE GOT THIS ONE
REAL BRICK WITH EARS, JACK RHYMER.

FIRST TIME, HE WAS
REALLY SHOCKED. HE'D BEEN WITH THIS ASIAN CHICK.

SHE WAS ALL OVER
HIM, YOU KNOW. DOING EVERYTHING,

LIKE A
CHINESE GYMNAST.

JACKO WASN'T
TOO KEEN ON THAT.

HE SAID HE KEPT
WISHING HE WAS WITH AN AUSSIE GIRL

WHO'D JUST
LIE THERE LIKE A SOGGY CORNFLAKE.

UM.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW AS I'D
WIN ANY GOLD MEDALS, BUT,

I LIKE A BIT OF ACTION.

SO DO I.

DON'T LET ME
INTERRUPT ANYTHING.

FOR CRYING OUT
LOUD, DAD CAN'T YOU EVER KNOCK?

I WAS JUST GOING TO
GET MYSELF A BEER. ANYONE ELSE?

NO.

IT'S OK, I
PROMISE YOU.

RELAX, JUST
CARRY ON AS USUAL.

BUT HE SAW US.

FUCK, HE'S SEEN
WORSE THAN THAT.

A COUPLE OF YEARS
AGO, I HAD A FRIEND WHO STAYED THE NIGHT.

WE WERE HAVING A
WAKE-UP SESSION.

DAD BRINGS THE
TEA, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.

OH, WHAT DID HE SAY?

AH, HE SAID,
"CAREFUL OF THE SHEETS."

IT BROKE THE ICE.

[Can opening]

WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO INTRODUCE ME?

YES, SORRY.

THIS IS GREG. GREG,
THIS IS MY DAD.

VERY PLEASED TO
MEET YOU. YOU CAN CALL ME HARRY.

SIT DOWN.

COME ON.

THANKS.

MAKE YOURSELF
AT HOME.

UM.

WELL,

UP YOUR BUM.

[Laughs]

IT'S JUST A JOKE.
DAD'S ALWAYS MAKING JOKES.

YEAH, LIKE THAT
TIME WITH THE LAVENDER FLOOR POLISH--

STEADY ON DAD, IT'S
A BIT OFF, THAT.

IS THAT?
IN COMPANY.

WHAT WAS THAT
ABOUT LAVENDER FLOOR POLISH?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, YOU
WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED. IT'S JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING.

WHAT DO YOU
DO FOR A CRUST, SON?

HE'S A
GARDENER, DAD

OH, YEAH,
DEAF AND DUMB, IS HE, TOO?

I WORK AT THE
BOTANICAL GARDENS.

IS THAT RIGHT?
MMM-HMM.

UH, PERHAPS THE
YOUNG FELLOW WOULD LIKE ANOTHER DRINK.

UH.

WANT SOMETHING
STRONGER?

NO. NO.
THIS IS FINE.

GOT SOME SCOTCH,
MAYBE A DROP OF BRANDY LEFT.

WELL, I WOULDN'T
SAY NO TO A DROP OF SCOTCH.

YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY SAY, "WHISKEY MAKES YOU FRISKY."

YEAH, AND, "BRANDY
MAKES YOU RANDY."

HEY, PITY WE HAVEN'T
GOT ANY RUM, EH?

THAT'S A GOOD
ONE, I LIKE THAT.

HA.

I'LL MAKE IT A
DOUBLE, THEN. I'LL JUST GET THE ICE.

[Gasps]

THESE ARE WONDERFUL.

MY PRIDE AND JOY.

NOT AS GOOD AS
MY BROTHER ERIC'S.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HE DOES.

WELL, UH,

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
SAY ABOUT TOMATOES.

SAME AS LEMON TREES.

BUSY AT THE PRINNY?

UH, YEAH, IT
WAS PACKED.

NICE PUB.

WHAT, YOU'VE
BEEN THERE?

OH, YEAH.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHEN IT BECAME OBVIOUS, THAT, UH,

JEFF WAS,
WELL, THAT WAY,

I THOUGHT,
WELL, "HIS HEART, HIS LIFE." AND, UM,

I'D NEVER MET ANY
WILLIE-WOOFTERS, SO, I--

SORRY, "GAY PERSONS."

AND NOT THAT
I KNEW OF, ANYWAY.

I THOUGHT, WELL, "I'VE
GOTTA FIND OUT WHAT ALL THIS IS ABOUT." SO, UH,

I GOT HIM TO TAKE
ME ON A PUB CRAWL.

IT STARTED OFF
AT THE PRINNY.

WE HAD A GREAT OLD TIME.

I HAD NO IDEA THERE
WAS THAT MANY PLACES, UH,

WE ENDED UP AT THE, UH,
THE BARRACKS, I THINK IT WAS.

I GOT TALKING TO A
COUPLE OF BLOKES, YOU KNOW,

A BIT NANCY, BUT A
LOT OF FUN, REALLY.

AND, UH, AND
ONE OF THEM, WELL,

HE MUST'VE THOUGHT I
WAS THAT WAY INCLINED.

HE ASKED ME MY NAME
AND WHEN I SAID, "HARRY",

HE SAID "OH NO, THAT
DOESN'T SUIT YOU AT ALL.

"YOU'LL ALWAYS
BE HARRIET TO ME."

WELL, HARRIET'S NOT A NAME
I'VE EVER BEEN FOND OF.

SO I SAID, "HARRIET? NEVER!

"CALL ME HENRIETTA."

HENRIETTA, EH?

IT DOESN'T
REALLY SUIT YOU.

EH? YOU RECKON?

I THOUGHT IT WAS
PRETTY GOOD, MYSELF.

I MEAN, A BIT
REFINED, YOU KNOW?

GRIPES, I JUST CAN'T
IMAGINE MY DAD

EVER DOING
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

[Harry]
WHAT'S THAT? WHAT'S THAT?

[Laughing]

[Greg]
YOU KNOW, WHEN I'M WORKING, OF COURSE.

[Greg]
WHAT'S THAT?

[Laughs]

CHEERS.

SO YOU, UH,
LIVE AT HOME, UH,

GREG.

AH.

YEAH.
WORST LUCK.

AND, UH,

YOU DON'T GET
ON WITH YOUR FAMILY THEN, GREG?

WELL.

GREG'S FOLKS
DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIM YET, DAD.

I SEE.

DON'T YOU THINK
THAT'S A SHAME, GREG?

LEAVE IT, DAD.

OH, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN VERY
GRATEFUL FOR JEFF BEING HONEST WITH ME.

I MEAN, NOT THAT I HAD
A LOT OF CHOICE. FINDING HIM IN THE BACK SHED THERE

WHEN HE WAS, WHAT, 14,
WERE YOU? YOU KNOW, STICKING IT UP WILLIE JONES' BUM.

I WAS NOT
UP HIS B--

WELL, NEAR AS
BLOODY DAMN IT--

YOU ARE VERY
BROAD-MINDED--

I TRY TO
BE, MATE.

I HAVE TO BE, YOU KNOW.
I MEAN, THIS IS JEFF'S HOME, AND, UH,

IF HE'S UNABLE TO
BE HIMSELF HERE, WHERE CAN HE BE?

AND I WANT YOU TO THINK
OF THIS AS YOUR HOME, TOO, EH, GREG?

YOU'RE WELCOME HERE
ANY TIME YOU LIKE.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS
FROM EACH OTHER, HERE.

NOTHING ON, UH,
TELLY, DAD?

NOTHING
WORTH WATCHING.

THIS IS MUCH BETTER, EH?

[Greg]
WELL, UH,

UP YOUR BUM, HENRIETTA.

[Laughs]

UP YOUR DRESS,
GRISELDA.

YOU 2 ARE WELL
AWAY, AREN'T YA?

[Harry]
TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR AMBITION?

YOU KNOW, WHAT'S YOUR
DREAM? APART FROM PLAYING HIDE-THE-SAUSAGE,

WITH YOUNG JEFFREY HERE?
I MEAN, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO IN LIFE?

MY SECRET DREAM?

MY REALLY, TRULY
SECRET DREAM?

OH.

I'D, I'D LIKE TO PLANT
A FOREST, YOU KNOW?

TO PLANT A WHOLE FOREST.

AND WATCH IT GROW.

AND GO OUT AND
STAND IN THE MIDDLE

OF ALL THESE
GREAT TREES, AND SAY,

"I PLANTED THIS,
I MADE THIS."

THAT'S MAGNIFICENT.

DO IT.

THAT'S WONDERFUL,
DON'T YOU THINK, JEFF?

BLOODY OATH.

MAKE A FAIR OLD
SWAG OF VIOLINS, TOO, WOULDN'T IT?

"MAKE A FAIR OLD SWAG
OF VIOLINS, TOO."

DON'T YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT
FOR THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THE WAY I TALK?

I LIKE THE WAY HE TALKS.

IT'S REAL MANLY.
IT TURNS ME ON.

UH, I'M SORRY, HARRY,
THAT WAS A BIT BOLD.

PLEASE. PRETEND
I'M NOT HERE.

YES, PLEASE.

WHY DON'T YOU
GET THE, UH,

YOUNG FELLOW ANOTHER
WHISKEY, JEFF?

NO, NO, REALLY.
I'M A 2-POT SCREAMER.

I'M A BIT LIKE THAT,
MYSELF. 2, AND I'M ANYBODY'S.

3, AND I'M EVERYBODY'S.

4, AND I'M NOBODY'S.

ACTUALLY, MAYBE I
WILL HAVE ONE MORE.

I MIGHT DO ANYTHING.

FEEL FREE.

NICE PLACE YOU
GOT HERE, HARRY.

I'M VERY PLEASED YOU
LIKE MY BOY, GARY.

HE, UH, DOESN'T PUSH
HIMSELF VERY MUCH, UH, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES.

BUT, UH, HE'S GOT
A HEART OF GOLD.

AND HE LIKES YOU.

WELL, I THINK
HE'S VERY NICE.

BUT IF YOU NEED
ANYTHING TO, UH,

WELL, UH,

HE CAN BE A
BIT OF A LUMP.

UH, I'VE GOT
THESE MAGAZINES,

YOU KNOW, IF YOU NEED
ANYTHING TO GET STARTED.

UM.

WELL, ARE, ARE
THESE JEFF'S?

YEAH.

NO, UH, I--I BOUGHT THEM.

I JUST, UH, WANTED TO
FIND OUT WHAT SORT OF THING HE GOT UP TO.

I MEAN, I HAD A FAIR
IDEA, UH, OF COURSE.

BUT THERE'S, UH,
SOME, UH, THINGS IN HERE, UH,

THAT I WOULD NEVER
HAVE IMAGINED.

AND, UH, THIS ONE,
UH, IT'S ABOUT, UM, SAFE SEX.

OH, I WAS, UH, WORRIED
ABOUT THIS, UH, TERRIBLE AIDS THING.

I MEAN, WHO ISN'T
THESE DAYS?

YEAH.

AND, UH, I JUST
WANTED TO FIND OUT IF, UH, JEFF WAS SAFE.

UM.

WELL, YOU KNOW, IT
WORRIES ME, HE'S MY SON.

UM, AHEM
AND, UH,

SO I THOUGHT I'D
JUST LEAVE THESE LYING AROUND,

LIKE, SO JEFF COULD FIND
OUT WHAT IT WAS ABOUT, BUT HE TOLD ME THAT HE KNEW--

IT'S ALL RIGHT
MR. MITCHELL. I MEAN, I DO, DO SAFE SEX, TOO,

IF THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT.

HMM.

WELL, THERE
YOU GO, THEN, UM,

IF YOU NEED
A TURN-ON.

UM, WELL, UM,
HAVE A GOOD TIME, WON'T YOU?

THANKS.

YEAH, I WILL GET
OUT OF YOUR WAY NOW.

IT'S BEEN VERY
NICE TO MEET YOU, GARY.

YOU, TOO-- UH,
GREG. YOU, TOO, MR. MITCHELL

DON'T DO ANYTHING
I WOULDN'T DO, YOU 2.

CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S
GONE. I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER GET THE HINT.

[Groaning]

SORRY, GREG. I, UH,
FORGOT TO ASK,

HOW YOU TAKE YOUR
TEA IN THE MORNING.

AS IT COMES.

WHITE, WITH 2?

PISS OFF,
WILL YA?

DON'T MIND ME.
GOOD NIGHT, ALL.

[Jeff sighs]

HE REALLY DOES
MEAN WELL.

WHERE WAS I?

LOOK, UH,

DO YOU MIND?
I THINK I'LL GIVE IT A MISS.

COME ON.

IT'S STILL EARLY.

NO, REALLY.

ANOTHER TIME--

DID HE SAY
SOMETHING TO YOU?

NO. NO. HE'S A
WONDERFUL MAN, IT'S, UH,

IT'S JUST, UH,

I GOT A BIT OF A
HEADACHE, YOU KNOW.

I'VE GOT
SOME PANADEINE.

DOESN'T HELP.
MIGRAINE, YOU KNOW.

I NEED THOSE
REAL STRONG ONES. I BETTER PUSH OFF.

IT'S HIM, ISN'T
IT? IT'S DAD.

NO, IT'S NOT HIM.

IT'S NOT YOU, OR ANYONE.

IT'S JUST ME.

[Sighs]

I CAN'T HACK IT.

BRINGING YOUR BOYFRIEND
HOME, AND NOT HAVING TO LIE AND PRETEND.

LOOK, I THINK IT'S REALLY
TERRIFIC WHAT YOU'VE GOT WITH HIM, I REALLY DO.

BUT?

IT HURTS A BIT.

IT MAKES ME FEEL
GUILTY ABOUT WHAT WE DO.

MAYBE IT'S TOO
DOMESTIC. SORT OF MAKES THE ATMOSPHERE,

I DON'T KNOW,
NOT VERY SEXY.

I'D LIKE TO SEE
YOU AGAIN, JEFF. I REALLY WOULD.

I LIKE YOU A LOT.
YOU'RE A REALLY NICE GUY.

SO IS YOUR DAD.

TELL HIM I
SAID GOOD-BYE.

[Door opens]

DON'T GO, MATE. PLEASE.

I LIKE YOU, MATE, YOU KNOW.

I DON'T JUST MEAN SEX.
WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT, IF YOU'D RATHER NOT.

I LIKE YOU AS A
PERSON, YOU KNOW.

I FEEL COMFY
WITH YOU.

JUST DON'T GO, PLEASE.

WE CAN TALK, GET TO
KNOW EACH OTHER A BIT,

I'M WASTING MY
BREATH, AREN'T I?

YEAH, SORRY.

NO, I'M SORRY.

I'LL SEE YOU, THEN?

YEAH, MATE.
OF COURSE.

I DO LIKE YOU, JEFF.

TA.

I WENT DOWN TO
MELBOURNE ONCE.

KEVIN HAD MOVED THERE
AND I THOUGHT,

I THOUGHT I COULD
TALK HIM INTO GETTING BACK WITH ME.

DIDN'T WORK, OF COURSE.

THE POINT IS I WENT
DOWN BY TRAIN,

AND THERE WAS
THIS WOMAN.

COULDN'T TAKE
MY EYES OFF HER.

SUDDENLY, SHE SAID,

OH.

THE AGONIZING
PAIN OF IT ALL.

THE AGONIZING PAIN.

[Sniffs]

[Glass clinking]

"OH, THE AGONIZING
PAIN OF IT ALL," THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

I'VE OFTEN WONDERED
WHAT SHE MEANT BUT...

I SUPPOSE I KNEW,
STRAIGHT AWAY.

SHE JUST WANTED
SOMEONE TO TALK TO.

SOMEONE TO LAUGH WITH,
HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH, GET DRUNK WITH.

CUDDLE UP TO.

TSK. DOESN'T SEEM
A LOT TO ASK, DOES IT?

I MEAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE,
HOW CAN YOU BE TOO BLOODY DOMESTIC?

[Man]
SENSATIONAL VALUE, AT $239.

IT'S PART OF A NEW RANGE,
THAT INCLUDES A 2-AND-A-HALF SEATER,

A SLEEPER-SOFA
VERSION

AND YOU CAN BUY
MATCHING CHAIRS.

WE HAVE ALL OF THEM,
NOW IN STOCK.

HE SEEMED LIKE
SUCH A NICE LAD, TOO.

YEAH, DIDN'T HE?

ARE YOU SEEING HIM AGAIN?

PLENTY MORE FISH
IN THE SEA, EH?

I WAS, UH,

WONDERING WHAT
YOU'D LIKE FOR TEA, TOMORROW NIGHT.

THOUGHT I'D BUY
A LEG OF LAMB.

YOU ALWAYS
LIKE A ROAST.

NICE BAKED
POTATOES, THICK GRAVY

AND, UH,

DON'T FORGET
TO SORT OUT YOUR LAUNDRY.

I'LL GET IT
DONE FOR YOU TOMORROW.

YOU EVER THOUGHT
OF GOING TO, UH, AN INTRODUCTION AGENCY?

ONE OF THOSE, UH,

COMPUTER DATING
SERVICES.

THEY'VE GOT THEM IN THOSE
MAGAZINES OF YOURS.

NOT TONIGHT, DAD.

SOME OTHER TIME, MAYBE.

FAIR ENOUGH.

[Sighs]

DON'T STAY UP TOO LATE,
WILL YOU, SON?

NO, DAD.

SHE COMES INTO MY MIND,
FROM TIME TO TIME.

THAT WOMAN
ON THE TRAIN.

LIFE COULD BE A DREAM

DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO, SH-BOOM

LIFE COULD BE
A DREAM, SH-BOOM

IF I COULD TAKE YOU UP IN
PARADISE UP ABOVE, SH-BOOM

IF YOU WOULD TELL ME
I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT YOU LOVE

LIFE COULD BE A DREAM,
SWEETHEART HELLO, HELLO AGAIN

SH-BOOM AND HOPIN'
WE'LL MEET AGAIN, BOOM BA-BOOM

HEY NONNY DING DONG,
ALANG ALANG ALANG

HO, WO WOB-DIP,
A-DIBBLE DOB A-DIB, WO

[Doorbell buzzing]

IF ONLY ALL MY
PRECIOUS PLANS WOULD COME TRUE, SH-BOOM

IF YOU WOULD LET ME SPEND
MY WHOLE LIFE LOVING YOU

LIFE COULD BE
A DREAM, SWEETHEART

JOYCE.

SH-BOOM

MR. MITCHELL.

EVERY TIME I LOOK
AT YOU, SOMETHIN'

PLEASE,

CALL ME HARRY.

WHAT I WANT YOU TO,
BABY, WE'D BE SO FINE

THAT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL.

OH, LIFE COULD BE A DREAM,
SH-BOOM

IF I COULD TAKE YOU
UP IN PARADISE UP ABOVE, SH-BOOM

IF YOU WOULD TELL ME
DARLING, I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT YOU LOVE

LIFE WOULD BE A DREAM

SWEETHEART,
HELLO, HELLO AGAIN

YES!
YES!

HEY NONNY DING DONG,
ALANG ALANG ALANG

SH-BOOM, WOB-DIP,
SH-BOOM A-DOB A-DIB, WO

LIFE COULD BE A DREAM

LIFE COULD BE
A DREAM, SWEETHEART

DEE-OODY-OOH,
SH-BOOM, SH-BOOM

DEE-OODY-OOH,
SH-BOOM, SH-BOOM

DEE-OODY-OOH,
SH-BOOM

DEE-OODY-OOH,
SH-BOOM

DEE-OODY-OOH,
SH-BOOM, SH-BOOM

[Indistinct talking]

SH-BOOM

DEE-OODY-OOH,
SH-BOOM

THANK YOU, DARLING.

OH, LIFE COULD BE
A DREAM, SH-BOOM

IF I COULD TAKE YOU UP IN
PARADISE UP ABOVE, SH-BOOM

TELL ME DARLING I'M THE
ONLY ONE THAT YOU LOVE

LIFE COULD BE
A DREAM

SWEETHEART,
HELLO, HELLO AGAIN

SH-BOOM AND HOPIN' WE'LL
MEET AGAIN, BOOM SH-BOOM

HEY NONNY DING DONG
ALANG ALANG ALANG

OH, WO-BIP, A BI-BIDDLE
BA-DID, WO

LIFE COULD BE A DREAM

LIFE COULD BE A DREAM

DEE-OODY-OOH,
SH-BOOM

[Coins clinking]

LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'RE ON A WINNING STREAK.

EVER SINCE I
MET YOU, JOYCE.

YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

I MUST SAY, YOU ALWAYS
KNOW THE RIGHT THING TO SAY TO A WOMAN.

OH!

LIFE WITHOUT
WOMEN WOULD BE LIKE

A BARBECUE WITHOUT
BEER, WOULDN'T IT?

SPEAKING OF WHICH,
SHALL WE GO?

I'VE RESERVED
OUR USUAL TABLE.

I HAVEN'T HAD
SO MUCH FUN IN AGES.

[Laughs]

THIS IS GETTING
A BIT SERIOUS, ISN'T IT, MOM?

NO, NO, IT'S
JUST FUN TO

GO OUT AGAIN WITH
SOMEONE YOU LIKE,

OBVIOUSLY
LIKES YOU.

MOM.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DEAR.

HARRY'S GREAT,
BUT WE'LL TAKE IT STEP BY STEP.

I'M A BIT MORE
WARY, THESE DAYS.

HEY, LOOK.
DAD LEFT YOU. IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

WELL, OF COURSE IT
WAS, PART OF IT.

YOU CAN'T PUT ALL
THE BLAME ON ONE SIDE, WHEN A MARRIAGE BREAKS DOWN.

WOULD YOU EVER
TAKE HIM BACK?

[Bird squawking]

NO, DEAR. NEVER.

ONCE BITTEN,
AND ALL THAT.

[Rock music playing]

[Harry]
JEFF.

JEFF.

SO I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO

YOUR HEART'S AS
COLD AS A STONE

[Clears throat]

NOT MUCH ELSE
TO DO, IS THERE?

SITTING AROUND
HERE ALL THE TIME.

FEELING SORRY
FOR YOURSELF. GETTING STONED.

YOU SHOULD BE OUT
LOOKING AT THE WORLD, MAKING A CONTRIBUTION.

SOWING YOUR
OATS, EH?

SOMETHING
WONDERFUL, LIKE LOVE,

THE GREATEST
ADVENTURE OF ALL.

YOUR GRAN SAID
IT ONCE.

I MAKE A
CONTRIBUTION, MATE.

I LOOK AFTER
PEOPLE'S DRAINS.

YOU KNOW, LIFE WOULD
BE PRETTY SHITTY WITHOUT PLUMBERS.

[Laughs]

NOT VERY ROMANTIC,
THOUGH, IS IT?

NOT LIKE PLANTING
A FOREST.

FAIR GO, MATE.
I'M JUST ME.

I KNOW YOU ARE.

[Sighs]

YOU HAVE
THAT FREEDOM.

SO GO ON.

PROVE TO ME

THAT THE WAY
I BROUGHT YOU UP WASN'T WRONG.

THAT MY MOTHER
WASN'T WRONG.

THAT WHAT
SHE FOUND WAS WONDERFUL.

THAT IT WAS
WORTH EVERYTHING.

ALL FOR LOVE.

BUT YOUNG GARY, HE
SEEMED CLEAN ENOUGH.

GREG,

GREG, DON'T START, DAD.

NOT NOW. JUST GO
AND HAVE SOME FUN.

YOU, UH,

GOT SOME RICH WIDOW
YOU'RE SEEING ON THE SLY, HAVE YOU?

WHAT IF I HAVE?

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
THAT GETS LONELY, SON.

I LIKE WOMEN.

I LIKE THE WAY
THEY'RE PUT TOGETHER.

I LIKE THEM ALL
SOFT AND SQUISHY.

I LIKE HAVING THEM,
FOR PETE'S SAKE.

I'M SICK OF LIVING IN SIN
WITH MY OWN RIGHT HAND.

EASE OFF, DAD.

AH, THAT SHOULDN'T
WORRY YOU, SHOULD IT?

YOU'RE GOING FOR
WORLD-CHAMPION WANKER, AREN'T YOU?

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

GOT A BIT CARRIED AWAY
OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN IT'S NOT
QUITE LIKE THAT.

I MEAN, I DO IT.

OF COURSE I DO,
WHO DOESN'T?

GOT TO RELIEVE THE
TENSION, SOMEHOW.

BUT HE MAKES IT SOUND
LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF RAMPANT SEX MANIAC.

YOU DON'T LIKE TO THINK
OF YOUR OWN DAD DOING THAT, DO YOU?

I MEAN, YOU
KNOW HE MUST.

DOESN'T SEEM
QUITE RIGHT, DOES IT?

[Door opening]

HE DRIVES ME SCREAMING
UP THE WALLS, SOMETIMES.

IT'S NOT AN EASY THING
FOR A MAN TO ACCEPT

THAT HIS MOTHER'S
BEEN DOING IT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN

FOR 40 YEARS.

I USED TO WONDER THAT
THE LOVE BETWEEN THEM MUST BE EXTRAORDINARY,

IF THEY WERE PREPARED
TO RISK EVERYTHING.

ALL FOR LOVE.

THAT'S WHEN I STARTED
TO THINK ABOUT BLOKES AND BLOKES.

NEVER DID IT, OF COURSE.
NEVER WANTED TO.

I THINK IT WAS THE IDEA
OF THE HAIRY BUMS THAT PUT ME OFF.

[Engine starts]

BUT IF WHAT MOM AND MARY
HAD WAS SO AMAZING,

YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT
MAYBE IT'S THE SAME FOR MEN, TOO.

ANYWAY,

I MET MY WIFE,
THEN THERE WAS JEFF.

I THOUGHT, "AH, WELL,
IT'S IN THE BLOOD."

IT'S JUST SKIPPED
A GENERATION, YOU KNOW, FROM MY MOTHER TO HIM.

I MADE UP MY MIND
THAT NO MATTER WHAT,

HE'D BE HIS OWN MAN.

AND I KNEW THAT
I'D LOVE HIM.

BUT HE DRIVES ME
SCREAMING UP THE WALL, SOMETIMES.

[Laughs]

THIS HAS ALL BEEN
A BIT OF A SHOCK TO ME, HARRY.

US GETTING
ON SO WELL.

IT'S A NICE SHOCK,
I MIGHT ADD.

I DIDN'T HAVE VERY
HIGH HOPES WHEN I WENT TO THAT AGENCY.

I NEVER EXPECTED
ANYTHING SERIOUS.

IT IS, ON MY PART.

HOW SERIOUS?

I WANT YOU
TO MEET JEFF.

THEN IF THE 2
OF YOU GET ON...

I'M GOING TO
POP THE QUESTION.

AND, UM,
IF WE DON'T?

WE'LL CROSS
THAT BRIDGE IF WE COME TO IT.

WOW.

I WOULDN'T WANT
TO COME BETWEEN YOU 2, ANYWAY.

YOU SEEM
VERY CLOSE.

WE'VE GOT TO
THINK OF OURSELVES FIRST, JOYCE.

IT'S A BIG STEP,
ALL THE SAME.

[Sighs]

BUT I GUESS WE SHOULD
PUT OUR CARDS ON THE TABLE.

LOOK,

I MIGHT NOT
BE VERY, UM,

IMAGINATIVE IN THE
BED DEPARTMENT, HARRY,

BUT I NEVER SAID
NO TO MY HUSBAND,

NOT IN ALL THE YEARS
WE WERE MARRIED.

NOT ONCE?

WELL, OBVIOUSLY
THERE WERE CERTAIN TIMES, AFTER JENNY WAS BORN

AND WHEN I WASN'T WELL.
BUT NO, APART FROM THAT

HE ALWAYS GOT HIS ONIONS,
WHENEVER HE WANTED THEM.

COULD HAVE
HAD THEM A BIT MORE OFTEN, TOO,

IF HE PLAYED
HIS CARDS RIGHT.

[Laughs]

I LIKE TO BE WOOED.

YES, YOU DO,
DON'T YOU?

SO, AS LONG AS YOU'RE
NOT TOO DEMANDING,

YOU'LL GET
WHAT YOU WANT, ON THAT SCORE.

I THINK WE SHOULD
STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH.

[Laughing]
I DIDN'T THINK I WAS.

WELL, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER,

STRAIGHT AWAY,
BUT, UM,

YOU KNOW
WHAT'S ON MY MIND.

[Sighs]

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

WHAT'S ALL THIS?

WHAT'S THIS
ALL ABOUT?

EH? WHAT'S
THE MATTER?

I'D GIVEN UP HOPE.

I JUST DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN.

NO, NEITHER DID I.

I'VE BEEN SO LONELY
FOR SO LONG, AND I JUST DIDN'T THINK...

IT'S YOU KNEELING
DOWN THAT DID IT.

[Sighs]

WELL,

WILL YOU?

NO.

WHY?

I THOUGHT...

IT'S TOO SOON.

I DON'T WANT TO MAKE
ANOTHER MISTAKE.

LOOK, LET'S GIVE
IT 6 MONTHS.

AND THEN IF WE STILL
FEEL THE SAME WAY...

MAKE IT 3 MONTHS.

[Laughs]

IT'S ALL THAT TALK
ABOUT SEX, ISN'T IT?

IT'S GOT YOU
ALL WORKED UP.

ALL RIGHT.
3 MONTHS.

JOYCE.

[Moans]

I CAN'T SAY I'M
THE HAPPIEST I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE.

BUT I'M THE HAPPIEST
I CAN REMEMBER BEING FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

LISTEN TO ME SANTA,
WON'T YOU BRING MY LOVER TO ME

[Laughs]

YEAH MATE,
MATE, THAT'S YOU, THAT IS YOU

AS YOU DROP DOWN
MY CHIMNEY

YOU CAN'T WEAR Y-FRONTS
ALL YOUR LIFE, MATE.

I KNOW I'M MUCH TOO OLD

MUCH TOO OLD

FOR REINDEER BELLS
AND GOLD

BELLS AND GOLD

BUT TONIGHT I'M
SEARCHING THE SKY

I WANT A

ROCKIN' CHRISTMAS
WITH MY

YEAH, GO WITH
THE FROZEN ONE.

SHE'S SO FAR

FAR AWAY

JUST WANT A

ROCKIN' CHRISTMAS WITH MY

PRETTY BABY,
SHE'S A WARM

MEMORY

TOO SMALL.

WHAT'S GOT INTO
YOU THIS YEAR?

THAT'S TWICE THE SIZE
THE ONE WE NORMALLY HAVE.

WE DON'T MAKE ENOUGH
OF CHRISTMAS,

THAT'S OUR TROUBLE.
IT'S THE SEASON OF GOODWILL, FAMILY.

IT'S HIGH TIME
YOU STARTED THINKING ABOUT A FAMILY OF YOUR OWN.

FIND SOME NICE
YOUNG FELLOW,

GET SET UP
IN LIFE.

IT'S NOT THAT
FLAMING EASY.

DOESN'T JUST
HAPPEN TO ORDER.

THE CHOICE IS A
BIT MORE LIMITED, FOR ONE THING.

MAYBE SOME PLACES
LIKE SAN FRANCISCO,

ALL THE BLOKES WEAR THEIR
DICKS ON THEIR SLEEVES.

YOU EVER THOUGHT OF GOING
THERE FOR A HOLIDAY?

I DON'T WANT TO
LIVE LIKE THAT, DAD.

I DON'T WANT TO
LIVE IN A WORLD

THAT JUST BEGINS AND
ENDS WITH BEING GAY.

I LIKE HAVING ALL
SORTS OF PEOPLE AROUND. KIDS AND OLD FOLKS,

EVERY SORT OF
PERSON THERE IS.

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE
IN A WORLD WITHOUT WOMEN. I LIKE WOMEN.

ME AND THE GIRLS IN
THE OFFICE GET ON GREAT.

THEY KNOW,
THEY DON'T CARE. WE LAUGH ABOUT IT.

FANCY THE SAME
BLOKES SOMETIMES.

EVEN FANCIED A
COUPLE OF THE GIRLS.

DONE IT WITH A FEW OF THEM
TO MAKE SURE I WASN'T MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING.

YOU'VE DONE IT
WITH GIRLS?

YOU NEVER
TOLD ME THAT.

YEAH.

I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO GET YOUR HOPES UP.

DID YOU LIKE IT?

SEE WHAT I MEAN?

HEY, HEY.

BUGGER IT.

COULD YOU
GET IT UP?

OF COURSE I COULD.
IT'S NOT EXACTLY AN OBSTACLE COURSE.

I QUITE ENJOYED
IT, ACTUALLY. SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

BUT THEY JUST DON'T
TURN ME ON LIKE MEN DO.

WOULD, WOULD
YOU LIKE TO TRY IT AGAIN?

NO, DAD. NOT OF
THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT
GETTING YOUR HOPES UP?

I LIKE DOING IT
WITH BLOKES, DAD.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S
EVER GOING TO CHANGE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT IT TO.

I DON'T WANNA BE LIMITED BY
OTHER'S IDEAS OF WHO I AM. YOURS OR ANYONE ELSE'S.

I DON'T THINK
I'VE EVER PUT ANY LIMITS ON YOU, JEFF.

I--

DAD, I KNOW.

YOU'VE BEEN
GREAT, MATE.

THE BEST DAD IN
THE WORLD, I RECKON.

THE FAIREST,
THAT'S A CERTAIN FACT.

I DON'T OFTEN SAY IT,
BUT IT'S CHRISTMAS.

SO THANKS, MATE,
FOR EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, YOU GIVE ME
THE FIRST-CLASS SHITS AT TIMES,

AND I SUPPOSE
I DO YOU.

[Sighs]

BUT I DON'T THINK
THERE'S MANY GOT A FATHER LIKE YOU.

AND I'M A VERY
LUCKY MAN TO HAVE A SON LIKE YOU, MATE.

WHAT DO
YOU RECKON?

HOW ARE WE GOING TO
GET THE FUCKER HOME?

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MAGNIFICENT,

JUST WHAT
CHRISTMAS SHOULD BE.

TADA.

OH, NOT HER AGAIN.
I THOUGHT WE'D DITCH THE BITCH.

NEVER!

YOUR MOTHER BOUGHT
HER THE FIRST CHRISTMAS OF OUR MARRIAGE,

JUST BEFORE
YOU WERE BORN.

I SUPPOSE SOME
PEOPLE MIGHT SEE THAT AS AN OMEN.

SHE'S LOOKING A BIT TACKY,
DAD. WHY CAN'T WE GET A NICE STAR, OR SOMETHING?

NOT AS LONG
AS I'M ALIVE.

YOU CAN DO
WHAT YOU LIKE WHEN I'M GONE.

[Sighs]

YOUR MOTHER
LOVED HER.

I MISS HER, DAD.

I MISS HER LIKE CRAZY.

NOT HALF AS MUCH
AS I DO, LAD.

IT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

YEAH, MATE, I KNOW.

I'M SORRY.

I THINK ABOUT
HER SOMETIMES.

SITTING ON A
FLUFFY WHITE CLOUD IN A PLACE CALLED PARADISE.

SURROUNDED BY LOTS OF

FAT LITTLE NAKED BABIES
SPROUTING WINGS.

AND ANGELS PLAYING HARPS,
MAKING PRETTY MUSIC.

WAITING FOR ME TO
COME ALONG AND JOIN HER.

IT HELPS, SOMETIMES.

[Sighs]

SOMETIMES IT
MAKES IT WORSE.

SOMETIMES I
MISS HER SO MUCH,

I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO
HEAR THE PRETTY MUSIC.

COME ON, DAD.

CHEER UP,
YOU OLD PISSHEAD. GIVE ME A HAND.

YEAH, WELL,
YOU KNOW.

YOU SHOULD TAKE
A LEAF OUT OF YOUR OWN BOOK, MATE.

I MEAN, THERE'S BOUND
TO BE A FEW OLD WIDOWS FLOATING AROUND.

THERE'S A FEW
YOUNG ONES, TOO.

BUT I MEAN WITHIN
THE REALMS OF POSSIBILITY, MATE.

SOMEBODY
WHO'LL FANCY YOU.

WOULD IT WORRY
YOU IF THERE WAS?

HELL, NO, MATE,
IT'D BE GREAT.

WELL, THERE IS.

WHAT?

YOU OLD DOG.

HOW LONG HAS
THIS BEEN GOING ON?

A WHILE.

YOU ARE LOWER THAN A
SNAKE'S BELLY, KNOW THAT?

NOT A SINGLE WORD
TO ME ABOUT THIS.

NOW DON'T GO
GETTING ALL HURT.

I JUST WANTED
TO BE SURE.

CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION?

I'LL DRINK TO THAT.

SO, UM...

HAVE YOU, UH...

HAVE YOU STUCK
IT UP HER YET?

YOU DIRTY BASTARD!
YOU HAVE, HAVEN'T YOU?

DON'T YOU DARE.

LISTEN, DON'T
YOU TALK ABOUT JOYCE LIKE THAT,

IF YOU DON'T MIND.
SHE'S A VERY REFINED KIND OF PERSON.

SO IS IT LOVE THEN, DAD?

NO.

I MEAN, I CAN'T
HONESTLY SAY THAT IT IS.

BUT IT MIGHT BE
THE NEXT BEST THING.

CHEERS.

CHEERS.

SO, WHEN'S IT
GOING TO BE?

WELL,

WE HAVEN'T
SET THE BIG DAY.

BUT YOU'RE
GOING TO?

YEAH. I, YOU KNOW, IF
SHE GETS ON WITH YOU.

I DO NOT
COME INTO THIS.

UNLESS YOU NEED
ME TO MOVE OUT OR ANYTHING.

OF COURSE
I DON'T, JEFF.

AND NOR WOULD
JOYCE WANT THAT.

SHE KNOWS ABOUT YOU.

YEAH?

YOU HAVEN'T TOLD
HER EVERYTHING, HAVE YOU, DAD?

[Laughs]

WELL, NO.
I MEAN--

DAD.

WELL LOOK.

JOYCE IS A VERY KIND

AND UNDERSTANDING
WOMAN.

YOU'LL LOVE HER AND
SHE WILL LOVE YOU.

AND, UH, YOU KNOW,
WHEN THINGS WORK OUT, BECAUSE THEY WILL,

UH, WELL, YOU
CAN STAY HERE, IN YOUR OWN HOME,

AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.
UNTIL SUCH TIME AS YOU WANT TO MOVE OUT ON YOUR OWN

OR WITH SOMEONE.

WELL I'LL BE, HUH?

[Glasses clinking]

MERRY CHRISTMAS, SON.

COME HERE, YOU
OLD BASTARD.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DAD.

JOYCE.

HAPPY
NEW YEAR.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, HARRY.

IF YOU HAD TOLD ME

I'M THE ONLY ONE
THAT YOU LOVE

UM, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO SHUT THE DOOR?

[Both laughing]

SORRY.

LIFE COULD BE A DREAM

IF ONLY YOU'RE MY BABY

AH. IS THIS JEFF?

YES.

ON HIS 21ST.

OH, TAKES AFTER HIS DAD
IN THE LOOKS DEPARTMENT.

YOU RECKON?

SOME PEOPLE SAY
THEY CAN'T SEE THE RESEMBLANCE.

[Sighs]

I FIND THAT
DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE.

I LOOKED AT YOU

SOMETHING'S ON MY MIND

I'M,

I'M REALLY HANGING
OUT FOR A DRINK.

MY LIFE, COULD
IT BE A DREAM?

[Sighs]

MAKE YOURSELF
AT HOME.

YEAH.

PARADISE, UP ABOVE

JEFF'S OUT ON
THE TOWN TONIGHT?

TOO RIGHT.

NEW YEAR'S
EVE.

DON'T EXPECT
HIM HOME UNTIL THE MORNING.

RIGHT.

THIS IS REALLY
PLEASANT OUT HERE, HARRY.

YOU SOUND, UH,
SURPRISED.

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,

2 BLOKES LIVING
TOGETHER, YOU KEEP IT REALLY NEAT AND

TIDY.

AH.

WHAT ARE THESE
DOING HERE?

OH, TO BE HONEST,
UH, I BOUGHT THEM.

WHAT?

WHY?

WELL, UH,
JEFF'S, UH...

OH.

I SEE.

AH.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

I WAS GOING TO. UM,
I KNOW I SHOULD'VE.

YOU BOUGHT THESE?

YOU--YOU ENCOURAGE HIM?

JESUS, YOU OUGHT TO
BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

YOU OUGHT TO BE
ASHAMED OF HIM!

[Sighs]

I'VE NEVER BEEN
ASHAMED OF JEFF. NOT EVER.

HOW CAN I BE
ASHAMED OF WHAT MY SEED'S BECOME?

WHAT MY LOVE'S BECOME.

YOU COULDN'T TELL ME.

I MEAN, IT'S PROBABLY
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE,

AND YOU COULDN'T
TELL ME.

IT DOESN'T
CHANGE ANYTHING.

WELL, IT DOES TO ME.

ALL THIS TIME
I'VE BEEN THINKING

I'VE BEEN GETTING
TO KNOW YOU, YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME.

I NEVER ACTUALLY LIED.

IT AMOUNTS TO
THE SAME THING.

JUST MEET JEFF.

YOU'LL LOVE HIM.

YOU'LL SEE.

HARRY, NO.
I CAN'T.

NOT NOW. IT'S NOT
JUST HIM, ANYWAY, IT'S EVERYTHING.

I CAN'T.

JOYCE.

I JUST NEED TO BE
ON MY OWN FOR A BIT.

SORT THINGS OUT
IN MY HEAD.

IT WAS SO GOOD
FOR A WHILE, THERE, HARRY.

IF ONLY YOU'D
BEEN HONEST.

[Starts engine]

ASHAMED OF JEFF.

NEVER.

DISAPPOINTED?

YEAH, DISAPPOINTED THAT...

THAT HE'LL NEVER
GIVE ME A GRANDCHILD. DISAPPOINTED THAT

I HONESTLY BELIEVE
HE'D BE MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING WONDERFUL.

WHAT I HAD WITH HIS MOM,

MAKING A BABY.

KNOWING THAT I'D
PUT THE SEED IN THERE, AND WATCHING IT GROW,

THEN SEEING HIM.

BUT IF HE'S NEVER
GOING TO HAVE THAT,

THEN I WANT HIM TO HAVE
ALL THE THINGS HE CAN HAVE.

OUR CHILDREN ARE
ONLY THE SUM OF US.

WHAT WE ADD UP TO.

US, AND OUR PARENTS

AND OUR
GRANDPARENTS AND THEIRS.

ALL THE GENERATIONS.

[Fireworks exploding]

[Screams]

[Grunts]

[Grunts]

[Siren wailing]

[Beeping]

HELLO, MATE.

THEY SAID YOU'D
BE UP SOON.

WHY'D YOU GO AND DO
A SILLY BLOODY THING LIKE THAT FOR?

YOU'VE HAD A BIT
OF A STROKE, DAD.

IT WAS MORE THAN A
BIT OF ONE, ACTUALLY.

DID THEY TELL
YOU WHAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE?

YOU'LL BE
ALL RIGHT, MATE.

I'LL LOOK AFTER
YOU, NO SWEAT.

THINGS WILL BE JUST
THE SAME AS ALWAYS, DAD, I PROMISE.

CAN I GET
YOU ANYTHING?

NEED TO GO FOR A
WEE OR SOMETHING?

SILLY, EH? I SUPPOSE
THEY LOOK AFTER THAT SORT OF THING HERE.

BUT STILL,
YOU NEVER KNOW.

WHY DO YOU KEEP
MOVING YOUR HAND?

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

ONCE FOR "YES."

TWICE FOR "NO."

OH, DAD.

[Breathing heavily]

...SMOOTH.

ARE YOU
KNOCKING OFF EARLY?

WHAT DO YOU
MEAN, IT'S 5 PAST.

WHAT ARE
YOU, A BLOODY CLOCK-WATCHER NOW?

I THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT GIVE US A FEW MINUTES EXTRA.

CONSIDERING THAT
COCK-UP YOU MADE

WITH THAT BED OF
PANSIES LAST WEEK.

[Laughs]

HE'S A PRICK. DON'T
TAKE ANY NOTICE.

WATER OFF A DUCK'S BACK.

YOU'RE IN
A GOOD MOOD.

YOU PISS OFF, I'LL
PUT YOUR GEAR AWAY.

THANKS, MATE.

[People talking]

YEAH

THE STRANGER

IS NOT THE USUAL

WHEN YOU ARE ONE

AN OBSESSION

GREAT, BOYS!
IS THERE GOING TO BE A RODEO LATER?

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU
COME WITH US, WALTER? COME WITH US!

LOVE TO.

MARTY! MARTY!
WE'LL SEE YOU THERE.

SEE YOU DOWN THERE.

WE ARE CALLED

LOVE EXPLOSION

[Whistling]

THE VIBRATION

COMBINATION

[Crowd cheering]

[Man]
POLICE ESTIMATE TONIGHT'S CROWD

TO BE NEARLY 600,000.

THIS IS BELIEVED TO BE
THE LARGEST CROWD EVER,

TO GATHER FOR
THE GAY AND LESBIAN MARDI GRAS.

YOU OUGHT TO KNOW

FEEL EMOTION

YOU OUGHT TO KNOW

LOVE EXPLOSION

HIGHER AND HIGHER

TAKE ME, TAKE ME THERE

HIGHER AND HIGHER

OH, HIGHER AND HIGHER

YOU, JUST TAKE ME THERE

HIGHER AND HIGHER

MOM.

WHAT ARE
YOU DOING UP?

YOU'RE LATE.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?

WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
YOU WERE ALL OVER THE LATE NEWS!

I WAS HAVING A GOOD
TIME WITH MY MATES.

I OUGHT TO BEAT
THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TRY?

GET OUT. GET OUT
OF HERE NOW.

YOU CAN COME BACK
ONCE FOR YOUR THINGS, WHEN I'M NOT HERE.

THEN THAT'S IT.

I NEVER WANT TO
SEE YOU AGAIN.

HE DOESN'T MEAN IT,
GREGORY. HE'S ANGRY.

NO. HE DOES, MOM.

DAMN RIGHT, I DO.

FAIR ENOUGH.

[Door clicking]

[Hums]

HERE YOU GO, DAD.

I FIXED IT UP
A TREAT, MATE.

[Beeps]

NOW WE CAN TALK TO
EACH OTHER, SORT OF.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?

NO, IT'S NOT SILLY,
MATE. IT'S GOOD. IT WORKS WELL.

[Beeping sound]

I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE
AN OUTING, THIS HOUR.

TAKE YOU DOWN
THE SUPERMARKET.

PICK UP SOME NICE
FISH FOR YOUR TEA,

SOME OF THAT
FROZEN LASAGNA YOU LIKE SO MUCH.

HERE'S THE REMOTE.
YOU WANT IT ON?

FOR GARDENING FUN
AND SHARING HANDS

FOR GARDENING FUN
AND SHARING HANDS

WHAT ABOUT YOUR WEE PAN?

NEED A PISS?

COME ON, HARRY, NOW.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO BE ABLE TO PISS IN THE SUPERMARKET, RIGHT?

HMM?

I'LL JUST GO AND GET US
READY. BACK IN A TICK.

THE TROUBLE WITH
HAVING A STROKE

IS THAT PEOPLE TREAT YOU
LIKE A FUCKWIT AFTERWARDS.

[Music playing
on walkman]

[Beeping]

SHUT UP, DAD.

DON'T MAKE A ROW.

[Beeping]

JEFF.

G'DAY.

THOUGHT
IT WAS YOU.

G'DAY, GREG.

HOW'RE YOU GOING,
MR. MITCHELL?

NOT TOO GOOD,
BY THE LOOK OF THINGS.

DAD'S HAD A BIT
OF A STROKE.

YEAH, I HEARD.
DOWN AT THE PUB.

HE CAN'T, UH,
SPEAK OR ANYTHING,

BUT HE KNOWS
IT'S YOU.

HOW CAN YOU TELL?

HE JUST CAN.

SO HOW ARE THINGS?

OH, NOT BAD.
I'VE LEFT HOME.

YOUR FOLKS?

MOM'S BEEN GREAT,
BUT DAD, UH...

FOUND A PLACE OF
MY OWN, ACTUALLY.

A STUDIO FLAT,
THEY CALL IT.

IT'S QUITE
NICE, BUT...

THERE'S HARDLY ENOUGH ROOM
TO SWING A CAT, AND IT'S PRETTY EXPENSIVE.

I WOULD'VE, UH,
THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE FOUND SOME NICE

FRIEND TO MOVE IN WITH.

I WISH.

UH, YOU KNOW, I DO
MEET BLOKES, BUT

THEY'RE ALL ONLY
AFTER ONE THING.

THAT'S NOT EVERYTHING
IN LIFE, IS IT?

CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT.

LOOK, WE BETTER PUSH OFF.
I'VE GOT TO GET DAD HOME.

YEAH, OF COURSE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
MR. MITCHELL. HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON.

YEAH, THANKS,
GREG.

LISTEN, UH,

I MAY DROP ROUND ONE NIGHT,
SEE HE'S LOOKING AFTER YOU PROPERLY.

UH, PROBABLY BE
A BIT DIFFICULT.

OH, WELL, IF YOU
DON'T WANT ME TO.

NO, IT'S JUST, IT'S,
YOU KNOW, A BIT DIFFICULT WITH DAD.

YOU'VE GOT TO
HAVE A LIFE OF YOUR OWN LIFE, SURELY.

[Beeping]

YEAH, OF COURSE--
DAD, DAD, DAD-- YEAH, OF COURSE I DO.

IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE WHEN HE'S A BIT BETTER, EH?

YEAH.

TOOROO.

SEE YOU LATER.

[Beeping]

[Door bell rings]

[Blender starts]

[Door bell rings]

YEAH, 2 TICKS!

NO, SORRY.
DON'T WANT ANY.

JEFF,

MY NAME'S JOYCE JOHNSON.
I'M A FRIEND OF YOUR DAD'S.

JOYCE, YEAH.
SORRY, COME IN.

HOW IS HE?

AS WELL AS
CAN BE EXPECTED, YOU KNOW, UM.

DOC SAYS HE'LL
NEVER WALK AGAIN. HE CAN'T SPEAK, OF COURSE.

DO YOU WANT TO SEE HIM?

OH, I DIDN'T REALIZE
IT WAS THAT BAD.

HE'D BE PLEASED
TO SEE YOU.

DAD, SOMEONE
TO SEE YOU.

HARRY? I'M
SO SORRY ABOUT YOU...

ABOUT YOUR
BEING SICK.

OH, HE'S
NOT SICK NOW.

LOOK, I'LL LEAVE
YOU 2 ALONE, SO YOU CAN HAVE A CHAT.

LOOK, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I JUST DROPPED BY, I--

I'LL MAKE A
CUP OF TEA.

I'M REALLY SORRY, HARRY.

TEA'S READY.

LOOK, UM,
I WON'T STAY.

MY DAUGHTER,
UM, JENNY,

SHE'S WAITING FOR ME.

BIT OF A SHOCK,
SEEING HIM LIKE THAT.

HE USED TO BE SO
FULL OF ENERGY.

AH, STILL IS.

ALWAYS WANTING TO GO
DOWN THE PARK FOR A WALK, OR WALK DOWN THE SHOPS--

WHEEL, I SHOULD SAY.

MUST BE DIFFICULT FOR YOU.

NO.

GOT A NURSE, COMES
IN 3 TIMES A WEEK, AND

IT'S MY DAD, YOU KNOW.

LOOK, DROP IN
AGAIN, SOME TIME.

HE LIKES VISITORS.

SORRY I GAVE YOU SUCH
A HARD TIME, BEFORE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE A MISSIONARY.

WE GET A LOT OF
THEM AROUND HERE.

WHEN IT'S BLOKES
LIKE THE MORMONS,

I JUST OPEN THE DOOR,
TELL THEM I'M A POOFTER AND WATCH THEM BLUSH.

YOU TELL THEM WHAT?

I'M A POOFTER.

DIDN'T HE TELL YOU?

YEAH, HE WAS GOING TO.
HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT HOW YOU MAY REACT.

NO, I KNEW.

YOU'RE NOTHING
LIKE I EXPECTED.

REAL SWEET ON
YOU, HE WAS.

HAD HIS HEART
SET ON YOU.

HOW WAS IT?
ARE YOU OK?

[Sighs]

THERE'S NO FOOL
LIKE AN OLD FOOL. ISN'T THAT WHAT THEY SAY?

YOU'RE NOT SO OLD, MOM.

NO.

BUT I'M A FOOL.

[Engine starts]

MY MOTHER WAS 80.

SHE WAS
GETTING INFIRM, AND

MARY WAS A BIT YOUNGER.

BUT NEITHER OF THEM
COULD LOOK AFTER EACH OTHER, ANYMORE.

AND WE ALL MADE THE DECISION
TO SPLIT THEM UP.

MY BROTHER TOOK
MOM. AND MARY...

WENT TO A HOME.

IT WAS FOR THEIR OWN GOOD.

HOW MANY TIMES DID WE
TELL OURSELVES THAT?

WE DROVE MOM AWAY, AND

SHE DIDN'T SAY A
WORD. SHE DIDN'T SPEAK FOR DAYS. SHE JUST

SAT IN HER NEW BEDROOM,
WITH HER SUITCASE FULL OF MEMORIES.

AND SHE DIED IN HER
SLEEP ONE NIGHT, NOT LONG AFTER THAT.

TSK.

AND I NEVER HAD THE CHANCE,

OR THE GUTS,

TO ASK HER THE ONE
THING I WANTED TO KNOW.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW

WHAT THEY SAID TO EACH
OTHER THAT LAST NIGHT,

LYING THERE IN THAT

GREAT OLD BRASS BED,

KNOWING THAT IT WAS
FOR THE LAST TIME.

KNOWING THAT THEY WERE
NEVER GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.

KNOWING THAT THEY WERE
BEING TAKEN AWAY

TO DIFFERENT
PLACES, TO DIE.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT
THEY WOULD HAVE SAID.

HOW DO YOU SAY
"THANK YOU" FOR

[Harry sighs]

40 YEARS OF LOVE?

WHAT WORDS COULD
YOU POSSIBLY FIND?

BY THEN,

THEY WERE BOTH AS
DEAF AS POSTS, SO,

THEY'D LIE THERE,

SHOUTING THEIR
LOVE AND THEIR GOOD-BYES TO EACH OTHER.

DID THEY FIND

COMFORT IN THE
IDEA THAT THEY, UH,

MIGHT MEET AGAIN SOON,
IN THE NEXT WORLD?

[Car engine starts]

SO, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WOULD HAVE SAID TO JEFFREY

IF I'D KNOWN THE
STROKE WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

I KNOW I WOULD
HAVE SAID SOMETHING.

ONLY NOW, I'LL
NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS.

OK, DAD. TIME
FOR NUMBER 2s.

[Sighs]

I'LL BE BACK IN A
BIT TO WIPE YOUR BUM.

GOT THE FISH ON
FOR TEA, RIGHT?

I USED TO IMAGINE,
IN MY DARKER MOMENTS,

THAT IT'D BE THE
OTHER WAY AROUND. THAT, UH,

YOU KNOW, HE'D CATCH
THAT DREADFUL DISEASE, AND

I'D BE THE ONE
NURSING HIM TO THE GRAVE.

BUT NOT THIS.

DEAR GOD.

[Sighs]

ANYTHING BUT THIS.

AH.

MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS'
TIME, WHEN I'M GONE, HE'LL FIND SOMEONE,

EVEN IF IT'S ONLY
OUT OF SHEER, BLOODY LONELINESS.

BUT IT WON'T BE LOVE,

BECAUSE BY THEN HE'LL
HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW.

I CAN'T IMAGINE
ANYTHING WORSE

COULD HAPPEN
TO A HUMAN BEING, THAN THAT.

[Farting]

SORRY.

IT ALWAYS USED TO BE
A VERY PRIVATE THING TO ME, GOING TO THE LAV.

NOT ANYMORE.

[Birds chirping]

[Duck quacking]

[Bird cawing]

RIPPER OF A DAY,
ISN'T IT?

WEATHER REPORT SAID
IT WAS GOING TO RAIN.

THEY STILL DON'T GET
IT RIGHT VERY OFTEN, DO THEY?

MIGHT GET AN ICE CREAM
ON THE WAY HOME. DO YOU FANCY AN ICE CREAM?

[Beeps]

DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU COULD MANAGE AN ICE BLOCK,

NOT UNLESS I
CHOPPED IT UP FOR YA.

MIGHT BE A BIT MESSY.

YOU NEED TO WEE
OR ANYTHING, DAD?

[Beeping]

WELL, I DO.

YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT,
DAD. I WON'T BE LONG.

[Chattering]

G'DAY.

FANCY MEETING YOU HERE.

I'M PLANTING.

WHAT?

I'M...

YEAH, I KNOW. I SAW
YOU FROM OVER THERE.

WELL, I WASN'T ACTUALLY
SURE IT WAS YOU, I WAS JUST HAVING A PERV.

NICE LEGS.

YOU'RE LOOKING
PRETTY FIT YOURSELF.

NO, NO, I NEED
SOME SUN.

AT LEAST YOU'VE
GOT A TAN.

IT'S ONLY MY
ARMS AND LEGS.

THE REST OF ME IS
AS WHITE AS A GHOST.

LOOKS ALL RIGHT TO ME.

YOU DIDN'T
COME AND SEE DAD.

WELL, I DIDN'T THINK
YOU WANTED ME TO.

YEAH, LOOK,

SORRY I WAS A BIT OFF
LAST TIME I SAW YOU, BUT

I WASN'T SURE
HOW YOU'D REACT TO DAD, YOU KNOW.

IT'S NOT THE MOST ROMANTIC
THING IN THE WORLD, IS IT?

LOOKING AFTER YOUR FATHER
AFTER HE'S HAD A STROKE.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT THINK
IT WAS TOO DOMESTIC.

LOOK, THE THING IS, UM,

I'D REALLY LIKE
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

YOU ALL RIGHT,
THEN, DAD?

I'LL READ TO YOU FOR
A BIT, EH? DO YOU WANT ME TO READ TO YOU?

[Beeping]

NO?

WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO?

SIT HERE AND
LISTEN TO THE FLOWERS GROW?

[Beeps]

ALL RIGHT.

SORRY I WAS A WHILE,
BUT I RAN INTO YOUNG GREG.

YOU PROBABLY
REMEMBER HIM BEST AS GARY.

COULD'VE KNOCKED ME
DOWN WITH A FEATHER.

BUT I SUPPOSE
IT'S ONLY NATURAL,

HIM BEING A
GARDENER, AND THIS BEING A GARDEN.

COULDN'T
HELP MYSELF.

I ASKED HIM OVER
FOR TEA, ONE NIGHT.

I WAS THINKING
HE'D SAY, "OH, YEAH?" AND THAT'D BE THAT.

COULD'VE KNOCKED ME DOWN
WITH A FEATHER WHEN HE SAID, "IS TOMORROW OK?"

"YEAH, RIPPER," I SAID.

I WAS A BIT
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

HOW HE'D FEEL
ABOUT YOU.

BUT HE JUST
SHRUGGED AND SAID, "THAT'S LIFE, ISN'T IT?"

AND HE SAID HE'D
BRING HIS TOOTHBRUSH.

THAT'S MAKING IT
FAIRLY PLAIN, ISN'T IT?

HE MIGHT EVEN
STAY THE NIGHT.

I'M NOT GOING TO
RUSH THINGS, THOUGH.

JOE COOL THIS TIME,
YOU JUST WATCH ME.

NOT TOO COOL, THOUGH,
I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I'M NOT INTERESTED, Y'KNOW.

I'M JUST GONNA

BE ME.

WHOEVER THAT IS.

[Laughs]

[Sighs]

WHAT'S UP, DAD?

WHAT'S THE MATTER,
MATE? YOU'RE CRYING.

WHAT'S WRONG?

HEY, COME ON.

IT CAN'T BE THAT
BAD, WHATEVER IT IS. COME ON.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DRY
YOUR EYES, COME ON.

EH?

OH, DON'T,
DAD. PLEASE.

IT BREAKS ME UP TO
SEE YOU LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW IT DOES.

THERE'S NOTHING TO
GET UPSET ABOUT, MATE.

I'M HERE.

I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE.

OK?

[Beeping]

IS IT GREG?

[Beeping]

DON'T YOU WANT
HIM TO COME TO TEA?

[Beeping continuously]

I WON'T. I'LL STOP HIM,
IF YOU WANT ME TO.

I'VE GOT HIS NUMBER.

[Beeping continues]

IS THAT IT?

DAD, COME ON, DAD.

DAD, DAD, DAD.

COME ON, TELL ME.

ONE BUZZ IS FOR
YES, 2 BUZZES FOR NO.

YES, YOU WANT
ME TO CANCEL.

[Beeps twice]

NO, YOU DON'T
WANT ME TO?

[One beep]

YES.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SURE?

HUH?

SILLY OLD BUGGER,
GETTING YOURSELF WORKED UP OVER THINGS, EH?

NOTHING TO WORRY
ABOUT, DAD. I PROMISE.

NOT A WORRY
IN THE WORLD.

TURNED OUT REAL NICE
AFTER ALL, DIDN'T IT?

[Birds chirping]

I WONDER IF
HE'LL SHOW UP.

[Better Be Home Soon
by Crowded House playing]

SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE

SOMETHING'S GOT
A HOLD ON YOU

AND IT'S PUSHING ME ASIDE

SEE IT STRETCH ON FOREVER

AND I KNOW I'M RIGHT

FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE

THAT'S WHY I'LL TELL YOU

YOU'D BETTER BE HOME SOON

STRIPPING BACK THE COATS

OF LIES AND DECEPTION

BACK TO NOTHINGNESS

LIKE A WEEK IN THE DESERT

AND I KNOW I'M RIGHT

FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE

THAT'S WHY I TELL YOU

YOU'D BETTER BE HOME SOON

DON'T SAY NO

DON'T SAY
NOTHING'S WRONG

'CAUSE WHEN YOU
GET BACK HOME

MAYBE I'LL BE GONE

OH, I'LL BE GONE

IT WOULD CAUSE ME PAIN

IF WE WERE TO END IT

BUT I COULD START AGAIN

YOU CAN DEPEND ON IT

AND, I KNOW I'M RIGHT

FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE

THAT'S WHY I TELL YOU

YOU'D BETTER BE HOME SOON

OH

THAT'S WHY I TELL YOU

YOU'D BETTER BE HOME

SOON