All language subtitles for After.Youve.Gone.S02E06.1080p.iP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-HECATE_track3_[eng]

# After you've gone

# And left me crying

# After you've gone

# There's no denying

# Someday
When you'll grow lonely

# Your heart will break like mine
and you'll want me only

# After you've gone

# After you've gone away... #

Hey.

Hey, what's with all the fancy food?

It's not fancy food
that's a pineapple.

BOTH: Ooh!

And that's a baguette,
that's a salmon fillet and
that's liquid hand soap.

Oh, Jeremy!

Kev, it's not posh
to wash your hands.

Anne's coming back from Africa
for a week, I want to make a good
impression. Anne's coming back.

Fantastic, it'll be a disaster.

Disaster. Let's hear it then.
Hi, Siobhan.

His ex wife's coming back for
a visit, hence the pineapple.

And the baguette. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, the thing is I was gonna
tell you, but, erm...

But what? You were keeping it
back for a nice surprise? No.

You were keeping it back
for a nasty surprise?

No, it's neither nice nor nasty,
it's a vanilla surprise.

So presumably Anne will be
back in her own bedroom.
Where are you gonna sleep?

I'll probably kip down on the sofa.
Probably?

Yeah, I meant probably
the sofa or maybe the floor.

You're not making this very easy,
no wonder I never
tell you stuff. Eh, excuse me?

Still, you'll be sleeping under
the same roof as your ex wife.

It's a recipe for disaster.

You could always stay at my place if
you don't mind the smell of chip fat.

Kev, I wouldn't stay at your place
if you were the last man on earth.

If I was the last man on earth,
you wouldn't need to.

All them empty houses, hey?

Just think, we could live in
Buckingham Palace, run up and down
the stairs in our underpants.

We could have dinner
at The Ritz every night.

Hang on, all the food would be
radioactive, course it depends

on what kind of disaster you've got
in mind you know, nuclear, biological

or does everyone just disappear?

Hello! hello!

Breakfast is nearly ready, kids!
Your mum's gonna
be here in a minute.

Ooh, that looks a bit ambitious.

Yeah, it's a fruit platter
with waffles.

Risky. Oh, no, no, not at all,

it's simple yet spectacular and will
impress the hell out of your mum,

so go and sit down and act
like you eat this every day.

Alex? Yes, Dad.

At what point between going to bed
last night and coming down this
morning did you break your leg?

I haven't broken my leg.

Then, why?

Oh, this, yeah, it's a fake.

Of course.

It's my secret plan to get out of
the school's cross country run.

Oh, that's ridiculous,
even for you, Alex.
How gullible are your PE teachers?

If they weren't gullible,
they'd be teaching maths.

Just take it off before
your mother sees it. Molly!

She might be a while, she's still

upset about being dumped by Shane.

Morning, Molly, waffles?

Shane loved waffles.

SMOKE ALARM BEEPS

The waffles!

What did I tell you, risky.

Oh, Anne,
you shouldn't have, this is lovely.

Howard's asked me to marry him.

What?

Steady, Mum. I haven't said yes yet,
I need to talk to the kids first.

And me of course.

I am talking to you,
in this cab, now.

Good, well, it's your decision
of course, just a bit
of a surprise that's all.

Jimmy will be even more surprised.

Yes, Jimmy.

How's it going with Jimmy?

Oh, well, you know, pretty well,

barring the odd catastrophe which

I have to head off on a daily basis.

Yes, Mum, of course you do -
Mum to the rescue.

You think I'm exaggerating,
don't you?

You always exaggerate,
it's your thing.

"Milk's gone off, we're all
gonna die of milk poisoning."

Oh, my God!

Now you're exaggerating.

Oh, my God!

Hi, Anne, Diana.

Everything's fine.

Jimmy...

Seems to have gone out
by itself, sir,

hardly worth unreeling the hose for.

Well, don't blame me, it was that
interfering pillock next door.

I told him not to phone you but,

oh, no! So if you've quite finished.

A simple thank you
would have sufficed.

Thank you.

You just have to be firm
with these people.

He's a fireman, I believe he was
trying to save your life.
I didn't ask him to come.

You're the only man I know
that can set fire to a kitchen
while making a fruit salad.

It was the waffles!

Anyway no harm done.
Except to the front door.

That's no worries I can fix
that with a bit of MDF.

Yes, MDF,
the choice of the master carpenter.

Why not stick
the hinges on with Blue Tack?

I hope you two haven't been
bickering in front of the children.

No, no, we've been getting
on like a house... On fire?

Is that what you were trying to say?
You always have to
have the last w... Word?

Oh, look,
the kids haven't even touched

their breakfast of fruit, yogurt
and freshly squeezed orange juice.

No waffles?

No, Diana, I deliberately
set fire to them.

Shane liked setting fire to things.
Mum!

Oh, what's wrong, my love?

It's just boy trouble, soon
blow over, she's been fine.

And so has Alex. Hi, Mum.

Oh, Alex.

Oh, my God,
Jimmy when did this happen?

Its all right, Mum, it's not real.

He's just faking it to get
out of PE. Oh, he's faking it
and you let him, even worse.

It's not just me, there's Diana
as well, she let me let him.

I was nowhere near him,
I was in a cab with you

as you can readily testify.

Isn't that just like her
to blame someone else.

That's because it's always
your fault, you never take

responsibility for anything.

I do. Who let the bath overflow and
ruin the living room ceiling? Me.

It's not looking good, is it?

..OK, Howard,
I'll be back as soon as I can.

..Oh, yeah, I love you too.

How's Howard?

Not been trampled by a hippo I hope.

He's been very supportive.

He's happy for me to stay as long as
it takes to sort this mess out.

What mess? Jimmy, I leave you in

charge of my kids and come back
to find Alex with a broken leg...

A fake one! Yeah, and Molly
having some sort of breakdown after
splitting up with a delinquent.

He's just a bit wild. I hadn't even
got to the house full of firemen.

Yeah, I didn't call them, that
was Twitchy McCurtains next door.

Don't think I'm not grateful
to you for stepping in.

Oh, don't mention it,
they are my kids too.

The thing is Jimmy
it's a little awkward but, erm...

now that I'm back... Ah, ah, ah,
yeah, no, don't worry about that.

What I thought was you can
have the bedroom obviously and
I'll just kip down on the sofa.

Er, I don't think so, Jimmy.

Well, if you're happy on the sofa.

No, no.

What I was going to say was
now that I'm here

there's no reason for you to stay.

What?

That was the agreement,
you would look after
the kids till I got back.

Well, excuse me, when you went
away I put my life on hold to

come and look after those kids.

Well, now you've got your life back.

I don't want my life
back it was rubbish.

Sorry, Jimmy.

What you're asking me
to move out, is that it?

We're divorced, Jimmy, I've already
asked you to move out, remember?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I suppose I'll, erm...

I'll go. Oh, no, no hurry,

you can finish your tea first.

Hi, Bobby, I've had
a bit of a disaster.

Anne's asked me to move out.

Fantastic.

Well, there's no need to
look quite so pleased.

But my pessimism
has been vindicated.

Probably for the
last time in my life.

Siobhan,
you're a sight for sore eyes.

All right, what do you want?
I'm moving in with you.

Oh? Well, that's all right,
isn't it?

Oh, well, if you think
we're ready for that level of
commitment then that's...

Oh, no, no! I didn't mean
move in like that!
God no, no, I'm not crazy.

I meant for a week or two
till Anne's gone back.

Oh, I see, it's just
a convenience for you.

Absolutely, yeah, and it
would be really convenient.

Oh, right, so you look on me
as some sort of...Travelodge.

With great room service.

Where the management has
the right to refuse admission.

Yeah?

Do you see where
I'm going with this?

Oh, come on I wouldn't be asking

unless I'd hit rock bottom.

But I do need an answer,
so come on - yes or no?

Kev!

Kev!

Who's there, boss?

It's me, you...

It's me, I need somewhere to stay.

Oh, right.

Hey, you could stay here.

Yeah, Kev, that was sort of the
idea.

All right, I'll be down in a minute,
just got to get
Satan back in his cage.

I've had a bit of trouble
coaxing him in.

What is Satan?

He's my cockatiel.

Don't worry he's quite harmless,
just got a bit of stomach trouble,
hence the shower cap.

Right. But enough about my problems,
got kicked out, did you?

Not exactly, no, I just thought I'd
give Anne some space. And Siobhan?

It turns out I'm giving
her some space too.

Well, lucky for you I don't need
space, not when I've got my
Slumber Cloud inflatable mattress.

SNORING

AIR HISSING

FLAPPING

Mum. Morning, Anne.
What a wonderful day - you're back,

the sun's shining and, what's
the other thing, oh, yes, no Jimmy.

Mum, what are you doing?

I like the children to start the
day with some good solid ballast.

And end the day with a good solid
heart attack. Oh, don't fuss.

Why shouldn't I fuss? I've every
right to fuss they're my kids.
Of course they are, dear.

Morning.

You're not still wearing that thing,
I thought the cross
country was yesterday.

It was, it worked like a dream.

While everyone else was struggling
through five miles of mud and bushes

I was in the Copper Kettle
with a cup of tea, a Danish pastry
and half the girl's volleyball team.

Well, now you can take it off.

I can't turn up to school
without it.

Do you know how long it
takes a broken leg to heal?

I've got to see this through or
I'll look like a liar and a fraud.

Is he always like this now?

No, sometimes he's asleep.

You don't seem in the least
bit bothered about this.

Well, you've got to admire
his creativity.

You're beginning to sound like Jimmy.

Oh, I hardly think so,
"creativity" has five syllables.

Yes, Alex is attention seeking
but you can't blame him.

Are you saying it's my fault
cos I'm not here?
I'm saying it's a shame.

Oh, Shane. I thought
you were over this boy.

Eileen just rang, Shane's
going out with Aisha Greeves.

You'll be OK, I went through much
the same thing when I was a girl,

you soon bounce back.

It was all right for you,
if you got dumped there were plenty
of other GI's in the platoon.

Molly, go to your room!

But I'm supposed to
be going to school.

Go to school and when you come back,
go to your room,
you're grounded for three days.

Ah, but... Go, and take an apple.

I think you're being
a little hard on her.

And not before time.

It seems to me things have
been slipping around here.

Look, Mum, I'm not criticising but
this is my house, they're my kids

and as long as I'm here
I'm gonna do things my way.

Good for you. Now, what do
you fancy for dinner tonight?

Mum, I'll deal with dinner.

It's no problem, I'll be here
anyway doing a big tidy.

Look, I've been away, just let me
and the children be... together.

You will be together, with me.

You really don't need
to be around so much.

I see.

You were happy for me to
be around while you were swanning
about inoculating strangers.

I thought you wouldn't mind
looking after your grandchildren.

I don't, it's looking after
your ex-husband I object to.

I think Jimmy's been very sweet.

That's all very well for you to
say from 4,000 miles away,

it's like looking after
two children and a toddler.

Do you think I like
being away from the kids?

Don't you think I've
been worried every day?

Not worried enough to come home.

I've crossed the line, haven't I?

Yes. I'll be on my way then.
Oh, Mum, there is one thing. Yes?

I need those spare keys back.

Fine.

In that case,
I'm taking my sausages.

Ooh, what happened to you?

I got pecked.

Siobhan, you know I said
I'd hit rock bottom... Yes.

Well, it turns out that
rock bottom has a false bottom

and underneath that one it's
even rockier and more bottomy.

There is a psychotic cockatiel,

a deflating mattress, a cloud of

greasy chip fat and Kev, whose sole
topic of conversation is decorating.

That's a lie, I talk about UFOs
as well

and the lost city of Atlantis
and how we faked the moon landings.

Siobhan!
Yeah all right you can stay with me.

Oh, yes. You can come round tonight.
Oh, boss.

Oh, Kev don't worry, it's not you.

It's your personality.

Oh, phew.

MOBILE RINGS

Hello...

Hi, Anne.

Yeah, yeah no problem, I'll
come round later. Yeah, about four.

All right. Bye.

Er, that was Anne,
she asked me to come round later
and pick up some of my stuff,

at four.
And that's all she said.

It's all right, Jimmy,
I believe you. Mind you,

reading between the lines, she could
be looking to rekindle the embers.

Doesn't sound as if she's in
any rush to get back to Howard.

Maybe they're going
through a bad patch.

Could be this phone call's
just a ploy. Ah.

Mark my words, once you're in that
house she'll find a way of getting

you into the bedroom,

close the door
and then hold on to your hat.

Kev, I'm with Siobhan.

Oh, right.

We'll talk about it in the van.

Hi, Moll. Sssh!

POSH VOICE: Hello,
is that Aisha Greeves?

This is Shane's mother,
he can't see you any more because
he thinks you are a dirty skank.

How dare you!

No, this is not Molly Venables,
I've never heard of her...
and she's not a psycho!

Glad to see you're
working through your grief.

You've gone from denial to
acceptance to anonymous phone calls.

Is Mum around?
Yep, upstairs getting changed.

Aren't you going out?
At least we'll some peace.

Yeah, it was easier to slip
things past Dad and Gran and we
always had one eye on each other.

All Mum's got to focus on is
being our mother. Nightmare.

Hi. Hi, Dad. We were just saying
it's not the same without you.

No, well I suppose
I ran a pretty tight ship.

No, Gran did. You couldn't run the
raffle on a cross-Channel ferry.

Isn't it about time
you took that thing off?

Ah, yeah, you don't understand, Dad,
this is not about PE any more,

it's gone way, way beyond that.
Look.

Phone numbers, lots of them.

Girls' phone numbers.

And where did you get them,
a public call box?
No, you old rogue,

it's the injury, girls love it.

It brings out the carer in them

and once they start caring,
it's a season ticket
to the heavy petting zoo.

Is that you, Jimmy? Yeah.

I'm up in the bedroom.

Yeah.

Well, are you gonna come up, then?

Hi.

Oh, come in, shut the door,
I don't want the kids to hear.
Hear what? Us. Us?

You and me. What's the matter?

Erm, well, this is all a bit...

Actually, I'm in a bit of a hurry.

Me too but I think
we've got time. Time for what?

Anne, don't do that.

Jimmy, don't be so coy, you've seen
it all before. Yeah but never sober.

I'm sorry, Anne I can't. Can't?

I'd love to, you're lovely but
I don't think it's a good idea.

What's not a good idea? Us sleeping
together. I'm in love with Siobhan.

I don't want to sleep with you.

What on earth gave you that idea?

Well, you...

and you called me into the bedroom.

Yes, because I wanted to give you
this bin liner full of your shoes.

Oh. Why on earth would
I want to sleep with you?

Howard's asked me to marry him,
that's what I wanted to tell you.
Oh.

Oh, and that's what you
didn't want the kids to hear. Yes.

Not the noise of us
having sex together. No.

Oh, my God,
don't be repulsive! Urgh!

OK, OK, I get the picture.

We're in agreement then.
What a relief. Goodbye. Jimmy.

What? Keys.

Oh, it's nice to get back into
a bed that doesn't deflate.

Oh, you haven't got
any angry pets, have you?

Jimmy, how long are you staying?

Why do you ask?

Because you've brought round
a bin bag full of shoes.

Mm. Anne gave them to me.

Anne? Mmm. Oh, you'll like this.

I said to her there was absolutely
no way I was gonna sleep with her.

Why would you say that?
Cos it looked like she wanted to.

How?
When she called me into the bedroom.

The bedroom? Yeah.

Let me start again. OK.

When I was in the bedroom...
Oh, so you went.

Yeah, but with hindsight it was
all perfectly innocent. What was?

When she took off her blouse.
She took off her blouse?

How can I be honest
if you keep interrupting?

Oh, yeah, yeah sorry. Ooh, where

were we? Oh, yes, yes, you were
in the bedroom with your ex-wife

and she starts
taking off her clothes.

It's nothing
I hadn't seen before, I was
married to her for 12 years.

Huh, I slept with her often enough.

Kev...

Kev...

Good news, Satan, your mate's back.

Behave yourself, Satan!

GENTLE SNORING

SQUAWK

Hello.

Hello. I happened to be passing
and I needed some change...

There you go. I also felt thirsty.
Gin and tonic, please, barman.

I have got a name, you know.

And when I want to be your
friend, I'll learn it.
(Love it! Hard-to-get.)

I suppose you've come here to gloat.
Certainly not.
Then why are you here?

I've always been fond of this pub,
it's the heart of the community.

I'm thinking of becoming a regular.

She's thrown you out, hasn't she?

She did not throw me out,
cos I never actually lived there.

We just agreed that I would give
her and the children some space.

LAUGHS

Yeah, I remember agreeing to that.

How much space does that woman need?

Yes. If it was space she was after
she should have stayed in Africa.

Have you heard from the children?

No. You?

No.

You don't think Anne's
back for good, do you?

I don't know.

God, I miss those kids. Me too.

Even Alex. Yeah, yeah,
I'm as surprised as you are.

I just miss all the little
things we used to do,
like taking them to the zoo.

We never took the children
to the zoo.

No, but we could have
done and now we can't. We never took
them to the aquarium.

Or the funfair. Or Henley Regatta.

Or the funfair.

What's wrong with Henley Regatta?

Blazers, Pimm's, toffs.

Toffs in blazers
drinking Pimm's, rowing.

Jimmy, there's a whole world
outside your scruffy-jeans,

T-shirt-and-trainers, pie-and-mash,
knuckle-dragging let's-all-have-a-

knees-up dog-and-bone milieu.

Admit it, Diana, it's me you miss.

All right, Alex?

Well,
I have my good days, my bad days.

Alex, there's nothing wrong with you.

What happened to your phone numbers?

Oh, I washed them off.

Don't need them any more.
This little baby got me a date,

with Miranda Hopkins. What?

You heard,
the blonde Venus of year 11.

You? Incredible.

I know! It's the leg,
it drives them wild.

You should get one. I don't know,

Alex, this could end very nastily.

That's what I'm hoping.

This is what we should
have been doing all along.

A nice day out,
the two of us working together,

keeping a firm but caring
eye over someone who needs us.

Wahey!

I won't tell you again!
This ride's for the under-10s

Get out! Get out!

MOBILE RINGS

Hi, Miranda.
Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I'm running a bit
late. Well, not running, obviously.

I thought you liked me for my wit.

No, no, no don't go home, don't go
home, I'll be there in two minutes.

Alex, what are you doing?

You're quite sure
what you're going to say?

Yes, nothing. Correct.

I'll do all the talking,
you just nod and smile.

Perfect.

Hello, Molly.

You all right, Dad?

You've cheered up.

Yep. Shane just called,
he's split up with Aisha Greeves
and he's asked me out.

Oh, I'm just so happy!

Oh, hello,
this is a pleasant surprise.

Before you say anything else, Jimmy
and I have something to tell you.

Before you do that,
can I just tell you something?

No!

In the time that you've been away
Jimmy and I have come to regard

Molly and Alex almost
as our own children.

They are my own children. Shh!

While we respect your sense of duty

as a mother, we still want to be part
of the children's lives. Mum,

I'm not going back to Africa
and I've said no to Howard. What?

You're staying? Is that wise?

No, it's not wise,
it's not even what I wanted.

In a perfect world, I wouldn't
have to make the choice but
how can I leave the kids like this?

Molly's going out with
a teenage arsonist and

look at the state of Alex.

Oh, for goodness' sake,
I've had enough of this.

Its real, it's real!
Mum, Mum its real.

Oh, well it looks like a fake.
That's the NHS for you.

Are you all right?

I fell down a hole.

You see, how can I
possibly leave them like this?

Now listen to me. Anne...
No, Anne, listen to me.

The point is...

this is life, things happen.

Mostly crap things, granted,
but we manage.

And it doesn't matter
if you're in charge or me or Diana,

Alex would still have fallen down
the hole, because he's Alex.

That's right, and you
wouldn't want me any other way.

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

And look at it this way,
Alex only had a fake broken leg
when I was looking after him.

I suppose.

And Molly's gonna go out
with unsuitable boys
no matter what we say.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Really? You'll be OK?

Yes.

Go and phone Howard.
You mean you'll...

I think you've got
something to tell him. Go on.

Thanks, Jimmy.

Oh, I like that! She expects us

to drop everything at a moment's
notice and step into the breach.

Diana, just nod and smile.

Actually, just nod.

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