All language subtitles for SPEABF 01

(Транскрибовано за допомогою TurboScribe.ai. Оновити до Необмеженого, щоб прибрати це повідомлення.) Is it cold?

No, it's perfect!

What are you waiting for?

You liar!

It's freezing!

Well, you know the best way to deal

with the cold is a potty head.

What was that?

It's the woods, Faye.

It's probably just a deer or something.

You're really not much of a camping out

kind of girl, are you?

Well, actually, I pitched a tent in my

backyard once.

There was this vicious looking squirrel and I

had to run back in the house.

Oh, no!

Hey, he had murder in his eyes, I

swear!

Okay.

Oh, my God.

I think there's something out there.

Oh, my God, that's it!

Shh, shh, shh.

Just stay calm.

Just stay calm.

We're dead.

No, we're not.

Don't panic, okay?

Just stay calm.

We're gonna swim back across the lake to

the resort, okay?

Can you do that?

Okay, come on.

Veruca, come on, hurry.

It's coming on.

Can't this wait a few minutes?

I really need to work on my blog.

You've been saying you've had writer's block for

like a week now, so it can wait

a few more minutes.

Plus, this is gonna make your blog ten

times more sexy.

Shh, here it is.

I'm here at the beautiful Cottontail Resort, an

idyllic getaway shattered by reports of something unexplainable.

Eyewitnesses share the details of their terrifying encounter.

Oh, uh, we were just going for a

midnight swim by the lake when we saw

it.

We didn't get a very good look, though,

because it was dark, but...

It was like really huge, like eight feet

tall or something, and it was completely covered

in hair, like some sort of giant ape.

I don't know.

It was really scary.

It must have been a terrifying encounter.

Will you be leaving the resort?

Oh, no.

I made a promise to the owner that

I'd be staying, and I could never break

a promise.

Not everyone is willing to risk living with

this mysterious creature, including the only other witness.

I really love this place, but I cannot

stay here one more minute knowing that thing

is out there.

It was terrifying!

Even if this is merely a hoax, it

could cost the resort dearly, as the panicked

exodus of guests and staff have left it

a virtual ghost town.

These footprints, measuring almost 18 inches, were found

very near the reported encounter, a compelling but

inconclusive piece of evidence.

Is there a giant creature roaming these forests,

or is this nothing more than a modern

myth?

Until someone captures the perfect photograph or piece

of evidence, the truth will remain a mystery.

Did you hear that?

Evidence!

Yeah, I've heard evidence that there's a lot

of stoners wandering the woodlands.

No, it's like she said.

The perfect photo to prove Bigfoot exists.

That's us.

We need to go and take that picture.

What if it's not Bigfoot?

What if it's just some very tall pervert

who needs manscaping?

I can't let you take that chance.

It's too dangerous.

Look, it's not just what those two girls

saw.

Since I heard about it, I've been doing

a little research myself.

Oh God, I was afraid of that.

Well, I studied all the reports of Bigfoot

in the vicinity.

And then I studied all the other reports

of what could have been bears, but maybe

weren't, and correlated them all to the area

where the two girls sighted the creature.

They all converged right here.

Oh crap.

Anyway.

We can get the perfect picture, and when

we do, we can sell it to TV

and news stations for big money.

And then I can finally get my degree

in cryptozoology.

Remind me, what is cryptozootography?

It's cryptozoology, silly.

It's the study of creatures that nobody's ever

proven exists.

I was like this close to graduating, but

when my friend Mike and I went on

our field study to Loch Ness, it was

just a freaking disaster.

Oh yeah, you never did tell me all

the gory details about that trip.

Well, we went there for like a month,

and we were hiding along the shore every

day, just waiting to get the first real

evidence.

Prudence, can you please try to keep up?

Sorry.

It's just such a beautiful day.

You just find these everywhere.

So we found spots to settle in and

wait.

You see

anything over there?

What's that?

We were waiting around for hours, and I

just got so restless.

But fortunately, I had something to help me

relax.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

I can't believe that it's happening.

Oh.

Oh.

It's happening.

It's happening.

Cameron, Cameron, get it.

God damn it!

What did I miss?

What did I miss?

Well, the professor was just so angry at

us that he said that Mike and I

would never graduate unless I did something really

amazing to atone.

If we can get Mike to come with

us, then he can share the credit, and

then he can graduate too.

Okay.

Not to sound self-absorbed here, but how

is this monster hunt going to make my

blog ten times more sexy?

We're going to be in the woods.

There's going to be, like, tons of hunky,

horny lumberjacks and, like, sexy forest strangers that

are just waiting to meet someone like you.

I guess that does have a certain Neanderthal

appeal.

Could be just the thing to get my

creative juices flowing again.

Perfect.

You can get your juices flowing with Mike.

Oh, honey, you mean your friend from college?

Yeah, it never really did work out between

us.

He's still kind of pissed at me.

Maybe you can be the one to get

him to come with us.

I don't know.

I'm going to need some time to ponder

this.

Time's up.

He's here to pick up some books he

loaned me.

Just get him to come.

With us.

Get him to come with us.

No, no, no.

Yes, you can do this.

Come on.

Okay, okay.

I'll see what I can do, but I'm

not making any promises.

And if you would have told me, I

would have dressed better.

I'm going to go hide.

Prudence, just because you can't see me doesn't

mean you're hidden.

Is that better?

Yeah, better.

Come in.

It's open.

Hi, I'm Mike.

You must be Prudence's roommate.

Not a lumberjack, but this might work.

Excuse me?

I mean, yes.

I'm Veruca.

She told me you were coming by for

your books.

I heard about what happened at Loch Ness.

I really am so sorry.

I know Prudence means well, but that vibrator

of hers lost me my degree.

Well, it just so happens that her and

I are planning a little wilderness expedition that

could get you your degree back.

Plus a little fame and fortune thrown in

for good measure.

We're after this little thing known as Bigfoot.

Bigfoot?

Oh, no.

I think Prudence is the sweetest thing, but

this is bound to end in disaster.

Aw, he thinks I'm sweet.

Well, I'm going to tell you a little

secret that you can't share with anyone.

You think you can do that for me?

Sure.

Have you ever heard of the erotic blog

writer, Salome?

Yeah, women really go crazy reading her.

It's pretty steamy stuff.

Are you a fan?

No.

I am Salome.

I'm a very intimate woman who spends every

day sharing and exploring her personal desires.

That must be very fulfilling.

But who will take care of those needs

out there in those lonely, dark woods?

I was sort of hoping that could be

you.

You don't think Prudence would mind?

I mean, we used to date a little.

We're best friends.

We share everything.

Let me show you what you would be

missing.

Oh, oh, oh.

She's just the bestest friend ever.

So, can we count on you for this

expedition?

Oh, absolutely.

Yay!

Oh, Mike, you're going to be so happy

you're coming with us.

I have to make the reservation at the

resort.

Okay, we have to pretend that we're just

guests.

Don't anybody tell them what we're really going

there to do, okay?

Veruca, Mike needs to get his equipment.

Come on, we don't have a tiny little

second to waste.

So, uh, does this mean we're, like, dating?

Well, that depends if there's any lumber camps

where we're going.

Cottontail Resort Center, Flyer speaking.

Namaste.

Yes, we have some rooms available.

But I must be completely honest with you.

We've had some frightening reports from our area.

Oh, that's okay.

We're not worried.

All that talk about Bigfoot is just hogwash

anyway.

Possibly.

But as they say, there are more things

in heaven than earth.

No, no, we don't believe any of that

stuff.

And we're certainly not coming there to take

any silly photos or do any kind of

silly investigations.

Nope, we're just tourists coming to enjoy the

nice, peace and quiet and sunshine.

Yeah, okay.

Well, um, we have rooms here for all

three of you.

But I must remind you that we abide

by the strict rules of naturism.

Nature?

Oh, we love nature.

Especially if there's going to be cute little

animals running around and everything.

We're going to see you in about two

hours, okay?

Namaste to you too.

I think I kept our mission, like, a

super secret.

Oh yeah, you're a regular James Bond.

Hi, Power.

We did the herb garden and picked fresh

rosemary for dinner.

Oh, and I adjusted the salt level in

the pool like you asked.

I'm just really bummed that we don't have

any guests here to enjoy it.

You're forgetting what I taught you about work.

I know.

By doing those things, we manifest what we

want.

We manifest what we need.

And your hard work and positive thoughts have

manifested three new arrivals.

Aren't they afraid of the monster?

Ginger, by calling it a monster, we manifest

that negative energy.

Try to think of it more as a

creature of peace and beauty, like you or

I, finding its place in the universe.

Okay, well, it was a pretty scary creature

of peace and beauty.

You know, I do feel really bad, though.

I didn't think by reporting what happened would

make everybody leave.

I was just so scared.

That's natural.

What we don't understand frightens us.

But hopefully, with our new guests in search

of Bigfoot, we can possibly achieve some understanding

as well.

They said that?

No, but something she said sort of tipped

me off.

I hope they're not going to try to,

like, hunt him down with, like, weapons or

guns or something.

No, I didn't pick up any negativity, but

we should be alert.

Funny, though, I don't think they understood what

nature isn't meant.

But usually, when you strip away someone's clothing,

you often strip away their ability to hide

their true intentions.

Well, it's not like they can hide any

concealed weapon.

I think you need a nice aerobics workout

after a long yoga session.

What did you have in mind?

Why don't you catch me and find out?

I don't

know.