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1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,838
We're going
to sleep in tents.
Yeah.
2
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,507
We get to
have a campfire.
Ooh.
3
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:08,776
And we get to poop
off the side of rocks.
4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,244
Oh, that sounds great.
5
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,712
But listen, darling,
you have to remember,
6
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:15,316
that has to stop
the minute you get home. Okay.
7
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,017
Oh, hey, Mom.
Yeah.
8
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,752
What if I miss you
during the night?
9
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,121
Oh, that's no problem.
10
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,789
That's why we have the plan,
right?
11
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:25,159
See, you're going to go up
on the bus with your class,
12
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:28,429
and then Daddy and Uncle Matthew
and Barb and I
13
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,498
are going to drive up, and we're
going to stay at a motel
14
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,666
that's two minutes
from the campsite
15
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:33,934
just in case you need us.
16
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,203
Plus, you've got
the walkie-talkie,
17
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,004
so you can call
whenever you want.
18
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,173
Okay, honey, so Mommy's
going to be at the
Golden Door Spa,
19
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,175
but I'll probably be in
treatments all day,
20
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,743
so that means no phones.
21
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,845
But shoved some extra cash
in your sleeping bag,
22
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,180
so if there's
an emergency,
23
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,149
just pay someone
to help you.
24
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,284
Are you going
to be okay, Mom?
25
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:51,719
Yeah.
26
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,222
I don't have to go.
27
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,890
No, you should go
with your friends.
28
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,759
I'll be fine at home.
29
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,661
Daddy's there.
30
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,763
Oh, I love you so much.
31
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,633
I really think you're
going to make it this time.
32
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,702
Yeah.
Yeah.
33
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:12,273
I really think you're going
to make it this time.
34
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,578
Mom?
35
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,848
All right, parents.
36
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:21,882
Say good-bye
to your child
37
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,551
and clear the area.
38
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,720
If you've said good-bye,
you have no reason to be here.
39
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,122
Let's go.
40
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,557
Campbell, get your
buttons in the bus.
41
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,624
Okay.
Okay.
42
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:31,859
Bye.
Bye, Mom.
43
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,394
Bye, darling. You're going
to do great, sweetie.
44
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,396
Hey, listen, uh,
Coach Hammond.
45
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:38,566
Um, Ritchie's never made it
through a sleepover,
46
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:41,469
so if you could keep an eye
on him, he's very sensitive.
47
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,036
He also lies
about brushing his teeth.
48
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,805
Miss Campbell?
Yes.
49
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,775
I have been leading this troop
successfully for 16 years...
50
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:50,043
over the past 18 years.
51
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,381
You have very little
to worry about.
52
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,584
All right! Let's go.
53
00:01:56,650 --> 00:02:00,388
Bye, Mom.
Oh... bye, sweetie.
54
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,158
See ya.
See ya.
55
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,713
(soft twangy beat playing
on radio)
56
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:33,120
* That's the night when
the lights went out in Georgia *
57
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:37,925
* That's the night that
they hung an immigrant ham *
58
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,494
(turns off radio)
59
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,463
You pretty sure you got the
words right to that song?
60
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,465
Yeah.
61
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,572
I got a knot right
in the middle of my back.
62
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,541
Can you see
if you can get in there?
63
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,175
Oh, you have come
to right place.
64
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,977
My mom used to make
me rub her feet.
65
00:02:57,044 --> 00:03:00,314
She said I have magic fingers,
and called me her little Romeo,
66
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:03,517
and-- I don't want to
talk about this anymore.
67
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,721
What are you thinking about?
68
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,658
Boy, I don't miss
that question.
69
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,860
You thinking
about New Christine?
70
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,428
What?
71
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:16,797
Well, you haven't heard
from her in a month.
72
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,799
You might be
a little freaked out.
73
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,601
I'm not freaked out.
74
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,169
We're on a break; it's fine.
75
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,837
Besides, I'm not talking
about this with you.
76
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:24,738
Why?
77
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,474
Because you're
my ex-wife.
78
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,276
I'm also your friend.
79
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,344
You're not my friend.
80
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:31,712
What? Come on.
81
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,581
I might even be
your best friend.
82
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,516
Come on,
say that we're friends.
83
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,385
Why is it so
important to you?
84
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,287
Because I hate that you say
we're not friends-- we are.
85
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:40,888
Nobody has what we have.
86
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,291
We could write a book
about the perfect divorce.
87
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,359
I'm telling you,
if we'd gotten divorced earlier,
88
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,927
we'd probably still be married.
89
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,097
Oh, God, yeah.
90
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,599
Right there, that's it.
91
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,267
Is that it?
That's it.
92
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,902
(sighs)
Harder.
93
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,270
Harder.
94
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,105
Don't stop.
95
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,575
Oh... yeah.
96
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,316
What happened?
Why'd you stop?
97
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,983
I had to, my hands hurt,
I'm tired.
98
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,151
I don't want to talk
99
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,621
about this anymore.
100
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:17,725
* Georgia Patrol
were making their rounds *
101
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,761
* And they fired a shot
just to flag him down *
102
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,564
* And a pig-bellied sheriff
grabbed his gum and said *
103
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,566
* "Why'd you chew it?" *
104
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,234
Sing it.
105
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,437
(humming melody)
106
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,978
And here's
your second room.
107
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,580
Huh.
108
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,149
Well, this one smells
less like armpit.
109
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,216
(sniffs)
110
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,353
No, it's a tie.
111
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,588
Okay, Barb, you and I
will take this one,
112
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,256
and you guys are next door.
113
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,691
Oh, because it's off-season,
114
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,660
we cut back
on some of our amenities.
115
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,295
There's no room service,
the pool has been drained,
116
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,431
and coffee shop's closed.
117
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,700
This is the desert's
peak season.
118
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,702
Is it?
119
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:02,836
I don't know.
120
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,038
My mom gave me this motel
to keep me busy
121
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,641
now that I'm
out of rehab.
122
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,646
Oh, hey, listen.
123
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,716
If someone knocks on the door
three times quiet
124
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,685
and then three more times,
don't open it.
125
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:21,989
Just... tell them to go
to the manager's office.
126
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,128
I think he's going to make it.
127
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,697
(scoffs)
128
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,532
Oh. I hope there's a blow dryer
in the room,
129
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,000
'cause I forgot to bring mine.
130
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,904
I'm going to go check it out.
131
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,574
God, this sucks!
132
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:44,478
No room service,
no restaurant.
133
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,314
Richard's hair is going
to be all wild and unruly.
134
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:49,116
I'm starving, too.
135
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,519
I mean, all I've got
is an unwrapped piece of gum
136
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,854
and an Advil stuck to a penny.
137
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,656
I saw a mini-mart
down the highway.
138
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,324
I'm going to go
get us some snacks.
139
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,026
Good. Matthew, go with her.
140
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,328
It's dark out there, and there's
coyotes and road runners...
141
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,964
And rocket-powered
roller skates.
142
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,365
She'll be fine.
143
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,434
It's just a couple
of miles back.
144
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,601
Matthew, just go with her.
145
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,503
I don't want to be alone
with Barb.
146
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,138
Why? Just don't piss her off.
147
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,305
You'll be fine.
148
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,207
(sighs)
It's not that.
149
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,710
Before... in the car,
150
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:20,380
I was rubbing her back,
and then...
151
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,349
What?
152
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,117
(sighs)
153
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,554
Oh, my God.
154
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,990
What are you telling me?
Stuff happened?
155
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,925
Yeah.
156
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:32,993
Stuff happened?
157
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:36,229
No! I had an emotion.
158
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,798
A feeling.
159
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,099
I started thinking
about her the way
160
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,834
I did when I first
met her, you know,
161
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,970
when you brought her home
from college that weekend.
162
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,606
She was sitting beside
the above-ground pool,
163
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:50,110
rubbing baby oil...
all over herself.
164
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,379
Cold water, Larry King,
Mom's feet, you.
165
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,081
Cold water, Larry King,
Mom's feet, you.
166
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,183
Cold water, Larry King,
Mom's feet, you.
Hey! Hey!
167
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,351
Hey, cut it out.
Okay.
168
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,920
Barb is married.
169
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:03,824
You could do
a lot worse than me.
170
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,593
All right, I'm sorry
I brought it up.
171
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:06,627
(mumbling):
So to speak.
172
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,128
Okay, stop it.
173
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,563
Control yourself.
174
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,164
It's hard!
(mumbling):
So to speak.
175
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,833
All right, I'm done.
176
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:15,769
God.
177
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:16,970
Damn.
178
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,639
There's no
reception up here.
179
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,908
Oh, yeah, that's why I brought
walkie-talkies.
180
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:24,177
Oh. 'Cause you were thinking New
Christine might want to call?
181
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,679
No, I wasn't thinking that.
182
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,414
God, I'm starving.
183
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,449
Don't they even have
a minibar?
184
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,151
All right, all right,
I got something.
185
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,420
Ooh. Is it food?
186
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:36,389
I'd say it's either
a lime or a testicle.
187
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,025
Ooh. Give me half.
188
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,793
(walkie-talkie beeps)
(gasps)
189
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,429
Oh!
190
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:43,764
Oh.
191
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:46,967
Ritchie? Hi, honey, it's Mommy.
192
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,870
It's Mommy.
Are you okay, Ritchie?
193
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,372
HAMMOND:
Ms. Campbell?
194
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:55,075
Lovie?
195
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,811
No, it's Coach Hammond.
196
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,681
I found this walkie-talkie
in your son's tent.
197
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:03,617
I'm radioing to tell you
I'm confiscating it,
198
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,419
and you won't be hearing
from him. Over.
199
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,955
What?
200
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,660
If you're done talking,
you need to say, "Over." Over.
201
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,695
Okay, over.
202
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:17,831
Um, you know, I'm sorry
if I broke the rules,
203
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,534
but, um, I'm just really worried
about Ritchie.
204
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,436
Like I told you, he's never
spent the night away from home,
205
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,539
and it's very important to me
that he feel safe, and...
206
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,608
(static bursting)
Ooh.
207
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:30,277
Ms. Campbell, please,
Ritchie is fine.
208
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,580
You'll see him tomorrow
afternoon when the trip is over.
209
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:33,747
Over.
210
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,717
But what if he needs me?
211
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,057
Over.
212
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,261
Ritchie isn't the only kid
to be a little anxious.
213
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,297
He's not even the only one
on this trip.
214
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,500
I see it all the time,
especially with the boys
215
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,269
raised by overprotective
mothers. Over.
216
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,506
Hey, you know what?
217
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,208
I'm not overprotective, okay?
218
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,877
Just last week, I lost him
at the Farmer's Market,
219
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,414
so if anything, I'm
under protective. Over.
220
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,550
He's going to be fine,
and he's going to feel proud
221
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:11,885
when he makes it.
222
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,353
We'll see you tomorrow,
Ms. Campbell.
223
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,956
Over.
224
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,859
We came all the way
up here for nothing.
225
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,127
Oh.
226
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:23,296
I just discovered what
smells like armpit.
227
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:24,798
Oh, no, wait.
228
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,100
That's my armpit.
229
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,071
Man, I cannot get
rid of this knot.
230
00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:33,674
Maybe we can pick up some lotion
at the mini-mart
231
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,843
and you can do me
when we get back.
232
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,681
Uh, so how's your husband, Pete?
233
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,884
I don't know.
Pete's Pete.
234
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,886
Actually,
things aren't going great.
235
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,088
Ever since we've reconciled,
things have gotten worse.
236
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,357
He goes out of town
every time he gets the chance.
237
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,627
My neck's messed up
from sleeping in the guest room.
238
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,495
We haven't had sex
in three months.
239
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,865
How's your mom?
240
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,934
Pete and I haven't even kissed
in over six months.
241
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,402
Which should tell you
a little something
242
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:06,039
about what the sex was
like three months ago.
243
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:10,310
Wait, didn't you have a cousin
worked at Baskin Robbins?
244
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,713
(engine sputtering)
245
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:19,519
Did I just
piss you off?
246
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,789
Damn it.
We're out of gas.
247
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,891
Out of gas?
How can you be out of gas?
248
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,592
Pete usually fills my tank.
249
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,260
As I think I mentioned,
250
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,197
Pete hasn't filled my tank
in over three months.
251
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,733
God.
252
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,869
Ah. Relax.
253
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:38,739
The motel's is not that
far-- we can walk back.
254
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,911
(rattling)
255
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,212
Uh-oh.
256
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:53,921
Boy... God's got a lot of rules.
257
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,026
Did she call?
258
00:10:59,092 --> 00:10:59,860
Who?
259
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,628
New Christine.
260
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,964
Isn't that why you're checking
your messages?
261
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,833
I mean, the only other person
who calls you
262
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,135
is your best friend
and I'm right here.
263
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:15,608
You're not my friend.
I am.
264
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,644
Seriously, this is, like,
265
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,646
crazy what you guys are doing.
266
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:20,848
Call her.
267
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,349
I'll bet she's sitting at home
268
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,684
checking her messages
every five minutes, too.
269
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:25,886
How do you know?
270
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,487
Because I know women.
271
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,456
And I'll bet if you pick up
that phone right now
272
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:33,393
and you call her, she will be
thrilled to hear from you.
273
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,728
She said she wanted space.
274
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,129
Nobody wants space.
275
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,731
Believe me,
I've had plenty of space.
276
00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:40,000
You know what I filled it
up with? Crazy.
277
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,936
So you think I should call her?
278
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:45,973
Absolutely. I think it would
make her feel cared about.
279
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,942
All right, I'll call her.
280
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:50,778
Really? You're going
to take my advice?
281
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,012
Yeah. Makes sense.
282
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,281
Ha! And you know
why it makes sense?
283
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,383
'Cause I'm your friend.
284
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,419
I cannot believe
they only charge
285
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,388
59 bucks for these
two rooms.
286
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,791
They're nice.
287
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,860
God, my house is a dump.
288
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,499
Hey, Christine.
289
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,067
It's me.
290
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,969
Listen, I just wanted
to give you a call
291
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,570
and let you know
that I miss you.
292
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:21,508
And I know you said
you wanted some space, but...
293
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,509
What?
294
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,344
(groans)
295
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,014
I don't know what this is,
but it ain't no lime.
296
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,585
No. That's okay.
297
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,721
I guess I thought that...
298
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,323
Okay, great.
299
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,424
Well, have fun.
300
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,962
See? She was home,
waiting by the phone.
301
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,797
Yeah, Christine,
she was home.
302
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,066
She was home cooking
another man dinner.
303
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,904
By the phone?
304
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,106
Damn it!
Why did I
listen to you?
305
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,408
We're not on a break,
we're broken up.
306
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:56,810
She's on a date.
307
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,211
She's cooking dinner for him,
308
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,080
and I heard Norah Jones
in the background.
309
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,650
She knows Norah Jones?
310
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,419
No, she was playing Norah Jones.
311
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,155
Which is her sexy music.
312
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,622
And she was pissed
that I called.
313
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:10,858
She thinks we're done.
314
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,294
(sighs):
God. That is so awful.
315
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,765
How did she get a date already?
316
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,834
I've been single
for three years.
317
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,436
Damn it, Christine.
318
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,772
I'm so sorry.
319
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:28,075
(door closes)
320
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,581
Is it a lime?
321
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,554
(country music playing on radio)
322
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,462
(music stops)
323
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,865
Are we dead?
324
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:55,368
No, but the battery is.
325
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,970
Great.
326
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,438
So this is the end.
327
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,173
And there are so many
embarrassing things
328
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,575
in my dresser drawer.
329
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,945
I'm starving, I'm freezing,
330
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,214
I've had to pee
for the last two hours,
331
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,184
and I'm really scared,
because now I don't.
332
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,486
I got to do something.
333
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,062
(clears throat)
334
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,563
So, uh, what are you doing?
335
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,165
(lips smacking)
336
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,935
(mouth full):
Looking for a blanket.
337
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,770
Are you eating something?
338
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,572
No.
339
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,909
It was a protein bar.
340
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,410
It has extra calcium.
341
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,511
It's for women.
342
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,582
It's the only food that we had.
343
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,351
I had.
344
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,455
Ah, here we go.
345
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,224
A sleeping bag.
346
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,527
Ooh, and something
to keep you warm.
347
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,300
I hope they don't
find me this way.
348
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,536
Whew.
349
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,810
Okay, get in.
What?
350
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,245
Get in here with me.
351
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,680
We have to keep
each other warm.
352
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,914
No, I'm fine.
353
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,150
It's two-ply.
354
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,918
Matthew, it's
freezing.
355
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,153
Just get in.
356
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,256
(sighs)
357
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,562
Richard, I'm sorry.
358
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:30,897
Come on, I was trying to help.
359
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,265
Don't be mad at me.
360
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:35,135
I honestly thought I knew women.
361
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,569
How was I supposed to know
362
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,306
she's all full of boundaries
and self-esteem?
363
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:43,710
Over.
364
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:44,777
(sighs)
365
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,113
You know what?
366
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,414
I don't think
you're really mad at me.
367
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,916
I think that
your feelings are hurt,
368
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,019
and you're sad
about the breakup.
369
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:55,355
Come on, I know men.
370
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:56,489
Let me help you.
371
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,126
Richard, buddy...
372
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:02,162
what can I do
to make you feel better?
373
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,365
Want to make me
feel better?
374
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,067
I do. What do you want, pal?
375
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,136
I want sex.
376
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,272
With who?
377
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,007
You, pal.
378
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,681
Well, that's
definitely warmer.
379
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:27,154
I don't know
where to put my hands.
380
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,122
I'm turning around.
381
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:41,801
Ah, when did you dip
yourself in vanilla?
382
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,104
I didn't.
383
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,112
All I'm gonna say
is a snake better have
384
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,381
snuck into
this sleeping bag
385
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,560
(thumping)
386
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,263
Campbell, is that you?!
387
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,964
No, it's Ritchie.
Can I come in?
388
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,533
Why are you out of your tent?
389
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,801
I heard a noise.
390
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,970
Oh, it was probably
just the wind or...
391
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,639
a gentle squirrel.
392
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,308
The desert is full
of all sorts of...
(creaking)
393
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,377
(whispering):
What the hell was that?!
394
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,146
(shouting):
I want that flap closed!
395
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,147
In or out, Campbell?!
396
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,382
In! In! In! In!
397
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,586
Easy.
398
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,255
Easy.
399
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,691
BOTH:
Easy, easy, easy...
400
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:41,961
That's insane.
401
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,730
Why is it insane?
402
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,298
You say you're my friend, but
if you were really my friend,
403
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,733
you would have
sex with me.
404
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,169
Richard, I don't have sex
with my friends.
405
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,438
Paul Simpson, Eddie
Gibb, Sue Gottlieb...
406
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,072
Anymore.
407
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,842
I've wasted three weeks thinking
I was involved with someone
408
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,277
when I wasn't.
409
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,711
Christine, I haven't
had sex in three weeks.
410
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,148
Three weeks. Oh, my God.
411
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,715
You're like
the freaking Dalai Lama.
412
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,717
And you're probably
coming up on a year.
413
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:05,985
Hey!
414
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:07,420
No.
415
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:11,057
Wait, when did I
go down to the river?
416
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,425
Anyway, listen, Richard,
417
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,527
I actually like
what we have now, okay?
418
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,396
And I don't want
to ruin our friendship.
419
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,765
How would you like to make it
the best friendship ever?
420
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:24,437
This is exactly how
Sue Gottlieb got me.
421
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:27,540
Christine, there
is no downside.
422
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,809
It's pure sex.
423
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,179
Pure sex.
424
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,547
I like the sound of that.
425
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,716
So what do
you think?
426
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,818
I don't know.
427
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:41,254
I don't know?
Does that mean you're
thinking about it?
428
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,690
Just give me a minute.
429
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,201
Okay.
430
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,770
But I'm gonna
need to be seduced.
431
00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:00,440
Okay.
432
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,343
Come on, man!
433
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,181
(birds chirping)
434
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,849
Ritchie?
435
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,384
Mom?
436
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,421
(sighs)
437
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,089
It's morning, kid.
438
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,391
You made it.
439
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,893
Hey, I did.
440
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,497
Now, get back to your tent
before the other kids wake up,
441
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,699
so they won't know
that you slept here.
442
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,368
Why?
443
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,503
Well, because kids can be mean.
444
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,005
They can call you Stork...
445
00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:35,842
Ms. Ham and Eggs...
446
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,278
Coach Never Getting Married.
447
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,281
I'm gonna go.
448
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,350
Okay.
449
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:52,359
* Ah, ha... ah *
450
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,427
* Yeah, yeah *
451
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:02,969
Hey.
452
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,937
(chuckles)
453
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:08,207
So... here we are.
454
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,442
Yeah.
455
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,847
And you know
what's great?
456
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,983
I don't feel weird.
457
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,351
Me neither.
458
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,487
We did it, it was great.
459
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,622
It was good.
460
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:24,824
It was great.
461
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,259
It was sex.
462
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:27,294
And we're done.
463
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,828
No downside.
464
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,163
Pure sex.
465
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,832
Were you ever gonna
come looking for us?!
466
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,502
We were out there
all damn night!
467
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,640
You want to walk
back to the car?
468
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:43,643
I'm walking back
to Los Angeles.
31740
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