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Let go, let go.
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[ALARM BEEPING]
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[GURGLING]
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[PINGS]
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This is Dateline: Springfield.
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♪ ♪
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From a distance, the Simpsons
were the perfect family.
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Homer and Marge were
high school sweethearts.
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She saved me from a dateless prom.
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He saved me from a life with my sisters.
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Those two are monsters.
Cut to them, you'll see.
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What are you filming us for?
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NARRATOR: Marge and Homer
raised their three kids
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in an atmosphere of love, laughter
and crushing economic anxiety.
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The only thing they
needed was each other.
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When I first met the Simpsons, in 1947,
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they were building affordable
homes in Pennsylvania.
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Little Maggie was going to
be the next Lindbergh baby.
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But John Foster Dulles had other ideas.
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Don't interview Grampa.
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He almost made Ken
Burns quit the business.
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[LAUGHS] That pompous old fool
was more boring than baseball.
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NARRATOR: Little did the Simpsons
suspect that their American dream
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was about to be flipped upside
down by the spatula of crime.
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Home to a nuclear power
plant and an active volcano,
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Springfield seemed like the
safest place in the world.
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But that tranquility was
about to be shattered,
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in a mysterious crime that would
tear the Simpson family apart.
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Tear us apart?
Nothing can tear us apart.
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Tear us apart.
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- Mom, stop saying "tear us apart."
- It's tearing us apart!
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Who wants mac and cheese?
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NARRATOR: Our conscienceless
reenactment begins as Marge and Lisa
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return home from a trip to the market.
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MARGE: Whatever we
didn't spend, I'd donate
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to Lisa's secret college fund.
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LISA: We hid it in the last place
the men in this family would look.
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MARGE: [CHUCKLES] A jar of cleanser.
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What happened next was one of
those life‐changing moments
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that always seem to
happen under the sink.
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NARRATOR: The entire college
fund, $670.42, was gone.
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And just like that, Lisa's dream
of going to college for three weeks,
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without a food plan, was over.
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For any parent of young children,
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the thing you dread most is
losing a can full of money.
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911 OPERATOR: 911 dispatch.
State the nature of your emergency.
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LISA: There's been a robbery!
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LISA: Send help! 742 Evergreen Terrace.
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911 OPERATOR: It wouldn't
hurt you to say "please."
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LISA: It's an emergency! You
don't have to say "please."
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911 OPERATOR: Sounds like what's
been stolen are your manners.
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LISA: Please!
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911 OPERATOR: Help is on
the way. You're welcome.
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LISA: Can I get your name,
please? And your supervisor?
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LISA: If I may?
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911 OPERATOR: Help is no longer
on the way. [FAKE DIAL TONE]
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LISA: Jerk.
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Uh, Chief, you found something?
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Zero evidence of Pringles, so...
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[SIGHS]
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So we were back at square one.
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It was not your typical break‐in.
No sign of forced entry.
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I mean, the dog didn't even bark.
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Somebody knew exactly
where to rub him. The tummy.
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[MOANS]
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NARRATOR: A police reenactment
confirmed the chief's theory.
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[MOANS]: Oh, oh, God, that's great.
Oh, there's no way I'm barking.
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Oh, Lou, you got to
teach my wife to do this.
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NARRATOR: With zero
evidence of a break‐in,
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police suspicion turned to the family.
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This just didn't pass what
cops call "the smell test."
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I've watched a lot of
cop shows in my day.
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I consider myself something of an
amateur policeman. [CHUCKLES]
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Let me just stop this documentary,
or "doc," here and now!
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We are good people.
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We do not steal.
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That's borrowing.
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Borrowing. Borr‐ow‐ing.
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NARRATOR: And so this nuclear
family began to explode,
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as suspicion focused on one man.
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Oh, what about the important
clue the police missed?
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Somebody set a drink down
here without a coaster.
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That had to be a stranger.
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This is an expensive table,
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and my family knows I
don't want it stained.
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D'oh...
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NARRATOR: Springfield
detectives made a desperate
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plea to the public for help.
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‐ They didn't have to wait long.
‐ [PHONE BEEPS]
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MILHOUSE [OVER PHONE]:
Nelson came to school today
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with a salon‐quality haircut.
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His family doesn't even
have money for milk.
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He eats cereal with rain water.
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‐ [PHONE BEEPS]
- Mr. Teeny stole the money,
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like he steals all my scenes.
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I swear it on my very bone.
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Sincerely, anonymous caller.
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But just as you're about
to give up after two calls,
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‐ you hit pay dirt.
‐ [PHONE BEEPS]
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HELEN [OVER PHONE]: I would
like to accuse Marge Simpson
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of stealing that money to
feed her gambling habit.
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She told my husband, the minister,
that she was an addict.
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In confidence, but, you know. [CHUCKLES]
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♪ ♪
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NARRATOR: Marge Simpson.
This suburban mother with
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Olive Oyl good looks had kicked
her gambling habit years ago.
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Or had she?
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MARGE: I admit it. I couldn't
resist the temptation.
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But then I did.
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NARRATOR: Marge walked out of the casino
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and off the suspect list.
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Shockingly, the mystery
would not be solved
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in the first five minutes of the show.
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With Marge's name cleared,
the police moved
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to the next suspect on
their list, Homer Simpson.
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Homer's bar tab was
spiraling out of control.
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Five, six hundred bucks.
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That night, Moe cut him off.
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[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
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♪ I'm sorry... ♪
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Yeah, our theory was that Homer
came home wasted, he fell,
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he shimmied and he found the
money under the sink there,
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and he figured he'd just
use it to pay his tab.
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Well it's indisputable that
Homer visited the kitchen
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before going to bed. You see,
we found spaghetti sauce splatter
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consistent with a very
violent late‐night snack.
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This is, ah, this is not
a flayvin situation.
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00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:43,033
Although, I still am compelled
to say flayvin.
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LOU: Sauce on the walls, the
ceiling, under Homer's fingernails.
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That pasta fought hard for its life.
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What that man did to those leftovers...
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I'm sorry, I‐I can't continue.
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NARRATOR: But if the kitchen had
been a tomato‐soaked abattoir
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that night, why had no one
noticed in the morning?
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Hmm.
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LOU: He cleaned up the
kitchen after stuffing
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all the money into his pocket,
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so we just had to get those pants.
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Fortunately, a simple
sting did the trick.
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[HOMER HUMMING]
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Ooh, Super Bowl in July!
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[CHUCKLES]
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No money in these pants.
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All we find is candy‐coated
peanuts, popcorn and a prize.
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Now, that's some Cracker
Jack detective work.
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[LAUGHS] Get it? Cracker Jack?
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[CHUCKLES] Yeah. Yeah. But as
for evidence, we, uh, we got nothing.
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With Homer still the prime suspect,
and the investigation stalled,
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Deadline: Springfield
was in dire straits.
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The show desperately needed a
cliffhanger commercial break.
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What if the real criminal mastermind
was billionaire Montgomery Burns?
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Why would I steal $600?
That's nothing to me.
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This is what rich is. Smithers,
bring me some more money.
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Need more convincing?
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No. We'll be right back.
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NARRATOR: Police returned
to their first theory:
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could Homer Simpson have done it?
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Oh, definitely. Hey, you're gonna
distort my voice for this, right?
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'Cause I don't want no one knowing
that this is Moe Szyslak here.
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Oh, and cut the name, too, yeah?
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NARRATOR: As Moe Szyslak said,
Homer was definitely a suspect.
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It was pretty clear, Chief liked
Homer Simpson for this case.
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Well, geez, Lou, I wouldn't
say that I liked‐liked him.
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I just, uh... why, did he
say something about me?
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I mean you thought he
was a person of interest.
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Shut up. I can find someone interesting
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without being interest‐ed
in them. Shut up.
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Yeah, but then new evidence came
in that apparently cleared Homer.
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Phone records showed a six‐hour
call from Homer's phone
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to a third party on
the night of the crime.
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The DNA revealed that
it was a butt dial.
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Yeah, and not just to someone
on his speed dial list.
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Uh‐uh. His dexterous cheeks
dialed all ten digits.
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[PHONE BEEPING]
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00:09:03,556 --> 00:09:06,036
DISCO STU [OVER PHONE]: Disco
Stu is unavailable for you.
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At the beep, you know what to do.
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When police played back Homer's message,
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it revealed a horrifying truth.
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Homer didn't scrub the spaghetti
sauce off that kitchen with cleanser.
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The sick bastard licked
those walls clean.
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00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:23,656
[HOMER MUMBLING, MOANING]
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He had a little help.
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00:09:26,889 --> 00:09:28,336
[BARKING]
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[YOWLS]
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[GRUNTING]
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My first thought was to
delete the message, sure,
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00:09:36,907 --> 00:09:40,845
but then I started grooving
to that slurping safari.
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00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,659
I hadn't heard any other
music than disco in so long.
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00:09:44,921 --> 00:09:49,484
Sometimes, a persona can just...
it becomes a trap, you know?
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00:09:49,581 --> 00:09:53,437
I knew it couldn't be Homer.
Every Simpson is innocent.
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00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:54,703
NARRATOR: Until proven guilty.
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00:09:54,756 --> 00:09:56,539
No. Just innocent.
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00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,765
What are you doing? Stop
panning across the family.
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00:09:59,853 --> 00:10:01,023
They didn't do it.
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00:10:01,546 --> 00:10:03,500
Finally. I've been expecting you.
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00:10:05,277 --> 00:10:06,773
[LAUGHS]
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00:10:06,944 --> 00:10:09,781
Like any normal healthy boy,
Bart has been the focus
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00:10:09,806 --> 00:10:12,031
of numerous police investigations.
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00:10:12,215 --> 00:10:14,684
But a mother knows when
her son is innocent.
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00:10:14,798 --> 00:10:16,399
And when she's kidding herself,
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00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,393
and when she's turning a blind eye.
202
00:10:18,609 --> 00:10:20,086
This time he's innocent.
203
00:10:20,209 --> 00:10:21,586
Just ask his friends.
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00:10:22,092 --> 00:10:25,131
‐ State your name for the record.
‐ Bart Simpson took the money.
205
00:10:25,263 --> 00:10:27,467
I admit I knew about
the money under the sink,
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00:10:27,656 --> 00:10:30,349
but whatever I borrowed,
I always put back.
207
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,431
Also, $600?
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00:10:32,584 --> 00:10:35,482
What would a ten‐year‐old
boy do with that much money?
209
00:10:35,617 --> 00:10:37,928
Slime. Bart was buying slime.
210
00:10:38,164 --> 00:10:40,466
I've never seen such
a cooperative witness.
211
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:43,115
I brought extra batteries
for your tape recorder, too.
212
00:10:43,369 --> 00:10:45,838
NARRATOR: Slime. The gooey, harmless
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00:10:45,863 --> 00:10:49,133
plaything wildly popular
with kids today.
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00:10:50,904 --> 00:10:55,454
I'd seen all the fads: yo‐yos,
pogs, Pokémon, crunking,
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00:10:55,635 --> 00:10:57,947
the short stories of John Cheever.
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00:10:58,061 --> 00:10:59,923
But this beat them all.
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00:11:00,147 --> 00:11:02,447
♪ On a clear day ♪
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00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:08,720
♪ Rise and look around you ♪
219
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:14,743
♪ And you will see who ♪
220
00:11:15,659 --> 00:11:16,659
[GRUNTS]
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00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,605
♪ You are ♪
222
00:11:19,891 --> 00:11:33,224
♪ ♪
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00:11:33,336 --> 00:11:36,138
My plan was, if I owned all
the slime, I'd set the price,
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00:11:36,327 --> 00:11:38,404
except that's when the bottom fell out.
225
00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:45,169
[SCREAMING]
226
00:11:45,209 --> 00:11:47,144
Lucky for me, there
was one gullible schlub
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00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:49,104
who didn't realize the craze was over.
228
00:11:49,197 --> 00:11:51,065
I sold my entire stash to him.
229
00:11:52,039 --> 00:11:55,953
I have not agreed to be in
your documentary. Please go.
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00:11:56,947 --> 00:11:59,049
BART: So I put the money
back I had borrowed
231
00:11:59,074 --> 00:12:01,328
from under the sink,
and I filmed it
232
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,437
because I knew no
one would believe me.
233
00:12:03,586 --> 00:12:05,711
NARRATOR: So that's
everyone in the Simpson family,
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00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:08,851
except for Lisa, of course.
It couldn't be her, right?
235
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:11,500
Nah. Well, let's look at the...
236
00:12:11,525 --> 00:12:13,026
Oh, for God's sake.
237
00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:15,873
I asked Lisa where she was
when the money was stolen
238
00:12:15,898 --> 00:12:20,367
and she said, "Chillin'. You
know, maxin' and relaxin'."
239
00:12:20,392 --> 00:12:23,000
Now these are the words
of a very cool person,
240
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,693
but Lisa Simpson is
not even a little cool.
241
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,242
So... [CHUCKLES] huh.
242
00:12:27,687 --> 00:12:29,088
MARGE: Oh, come on.
243
00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:32,961
No one, I repeat no one, would
believe Lisa could do it.
244
00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:36,319
But she's also a girl who
wants a new saxophone.
245
00:12:36,502 --> 00:12:37,616
I'm just saying.
246
00:12:41,691 --> 00:12:43,626
I've been Lisa's supplier for years.
247
00:12:43,756 --> 00:12:45,859
Reeds, wipes, valve grease.
248
00:12:46,036 --> 00:12:48,138
Would she commit a crime over a new sax?
249
00:12:48,408 --> 00:12:51,195
[CHUCKLES] Did Dave Brubeck
compose in 9/8 time?
250
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,359
He did. We'll count it out together.
251
00:12:53,655 --> 00:13:06,953
[HUMMING "BLUE RONDO À
LA TURK" BY DAVE BRUBECK]
252
00:13:07,893 --> 00:13:09,627
Go ahead, give it a spin.
253
00:13:10,142 --> 00:13:13,533
[PLAYING "NIGHT LIGHTS"
BY GERRY MULLIGAN]
254
00:13:28,618 --> 00:13:31,556
Oh, it's the best bari
sax on the market,
255
00:13:31,581 --> 00:13:34,595
a Smoothphone Jazzhonker
in black nickel.
256
00:13:34,677 --> 00:13:37,931
[CHUCKLES] But I wouldn't steal for it.
257
00:13:38,237 --> 00:13:40,017
NARRATOR: When we
come back, Lisa did it.
258
00:13:40,227 --> 00:13:43,164
‐ No, I didn't.
‐ Lisa, it's your bedtime.
259
00:13:43,419 --> 00:13:46,375
I got to go. My mom's reading
me Harry Potter book four.
260
00:13:46,488 --> 00:13:48,636
NARRATOR: Oh, yeah, the
one where Cedric Diggory dies?
261
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:50,237
‐ You suck.
‐ NARRATOR: You did it!
262
00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:52,606
No, you did it, jerk.
263
00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:57,286
Okay, okay. Time's up.
264
00:13:58,567 --> 00:14:01,953
[GRUNTS] The reed's mine.
265
00:14:02,081 --> 00:14:04,674
NARRATOR: You can't
spell greed without reed.
266
00:14:04,699 --> 00:14:05,699
Check it out.
267
00:14:09,252 --> 00:14:11,729
Why did we agree to do this documentary?
268
00:14:11,971 --> 00:14:13,940
Because all our biggest stars today
269
00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:15,967
come from true crime documentaries:
270
00:14:16,207 --> 00:14:20,574
The Jinx, Making a Murderer,
and Matt Lauer on the Today Show.
271
00:14:20,653 --> 00:14:23,690
NARRATOR: It turns out Lisa
did not buy the new saxophone.
272
00:14:24,282 --> 00:14:25,293
Someone else did.
273
00:14:25,541 --> 00:14:28,377
I've always wanted to play bari sax,
274
00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:31,027
but my father insisted on tenor.
275
00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:35,027
In you go.
276
00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:41,473
‐ What do you think of this?
‐ You're still a disappointment.
277
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,497
[SHOUTS]
278
00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:45,258
NARRATOR: But if Lisa was innocent,
279
00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:48,735
why was she so reluctant
to explain her whereabouts
280
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,071
at the time of the crime?
281
00:14:50,312 --> 00:14:54,024
Shut up about my Lisa! I
can tell you where she was.
282
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,404
‐ She was...
‐ Uh, bup, bup, bup, bup!
283
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,348
Mom! Mom! No! Err!
284
00:14:57,524 --> 00:14:59,551
Apparently, some of the
girls at school were...
285
00:14:59,576 --> 00:15:02,612
Let's just say I stole the money,
okay? End of documentary.
286
00:15:02,637 --> 00:15:04,457
See you at the
Independent Spirit Awards.
287
00:15:04,781 --> 00:15:06,918
I took her to her hopscotch tutor.
288
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:09,339
LISA: I was hanging on by a thread,
289
00:15:09,506 --> 00:15:11,776
and now the whole world will joke about
290
00:15:11,801 --> 00:15:16,425
how I am the only girl who
ever needed a hopscotch tutor.
291
00:15:16,824 --> 00:15:18,644
Lisa, just repeat after me.
292
00:15:18,713 --> 00:15:21,277
One foot, two foot, one foot,
one foot, two foot, one foot,
293
00:15:21,302 --> 00:15:22,470
two foot, one foot...
294
00:15:22,553 --> 00:15:25,980
So stupid. Who invented this game?
295
00:15:26,187 --> 00:15:29,644
The Scotch invented
hopscotch and Scotch tape!
296
00:15:30,079 --> 00:15:32,586
‐ What about scotch whiskey?
‐ Never heard of it.
297
00:15:32,795 --> 00:15:35,431
See, I told you, all innocent.
298
00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:38,344
So maybe now you
vultures can leave us be.
299
00:15:38,796 --> 00:15:40,556
NARRATOR: We've taken
up enough of your time.
300
00:15:40,711 --> 00:15:41,879
Let's go, guys.
301
00:15:41,904 --> 00:15:43,906
♪ ♪
302
00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:50,342
What are you doing?
My family's in the clear.
303
00:15:50,444 --> 00:15:53,420
I want you to apologize to my wife!
304
00:15:53,774 --> 00:15:56,543
NARRATOR: Apologize? [CHUCKLES] Us?
305
00:15:56,595 --> 00:15:58,563
Oh, you will, and you know why?
306
00:15:58,677 --> 00:16:02,790
I am the last person that
watches network television,
307
00:16:03,043 --> 00:16:06,602
including the commercials.
308
00:16:06,742 --> 00:16:08,125
[GRUNTS]
309
00:16:08,354 --> 00:16:09,516
I apologize.
310
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:12,648
MARGE: Now promise that this
scene will not be removed in editing.
311
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,344
I can't promise that,
only the editor can.
312
00:16:15,469 --> 00:16:17,328
‐ I got him.
‐ I'm gonna report you
313
00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:19,718
to the American Cinema Editors.
314
00:16:20,377 --> 00:16:24,064
- It's just an honorary society.
- You take that back!
315
00:16:27,124 --> 00:16:30,166
Whew. What a relief. So who did do it?
316
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,923
It was obviously Bart. It's always Bart.
317
00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:35,736
Hey, nothing is my fault
'cause Dad raised me so rotten.
318
00:16:35,821 --> 00:16:39,080
Well, nothing is my fault 'cause
my dad raised me so rotten.
319
00:16:39,328 --> 00:16:41,236
Don't blame me.
320
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:44,003
It was a race out the
door and your mother won.
321
00:16:44,201 --> 00:16:45,405
‐ Oh, yeah?
‐ It was Bart!
322
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:49,015
‐ [OVERLAPPING ARGUING]
- ...To show how irresponsible you are!
323
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,975
Shut up, all you innocent people.
324
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,858
I wish I was never responsible for you.
325
00:16:52,883 --> 00:16:54,551
Stop it, stop it!
326
00:16:54,719 --> 00:16:56,921
You're tearing this family apart.
327
00:16:57,168 --> 00:16:59,749
And stop calling the sofa a love seat!
328
00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:01,140
I barely like it!
329
00:17:01,510 --> 00:17:04,400
NARRATOR: The great Simpson
Robbery remains unsolved.
330
00:17:04,784 --> 00:17:06,728
Justice may never be served,
331
00:17:06,861 --> 00:17:09,508
but at the end of the day,
what matters is that we enjoyed
332
00:17:09,533 --> 00:17:13,306
watching bad things happen
to human beings who aren't us.
333
00:17:13,461 --> 00:17:15,627
Ah! Help, Mother.
334
00:17:17,182 --> 00:17:21,323
[RALPH HUMMING]
335
00:17:21,348 --> 00:17:22,354
[LISA GROANS]
336
00:17:22,379 --> 00:17:25,246
WIGGUM: You try not to dwell
on your innumerable failures.
337
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:28,129
Instead, you stare out to
sea and try to look like
338
00:17:28,154 --> 00:17:29,582
you're thinking deep thoughts.
339
00:17:29,989 --> 00:17:31,857
Just like this.
340
00:17:32,072 --> 00:17:33,261
Yeah.
341
00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:35,603
You got what you need?
342
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,344
'Cause I got an itch,
I got to scratch it.
343
00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:43,738
Now let's celebrate.
344
00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:46,954
We got through a documentary
looking better than before it started.
345
00:17:47,206 --> 00:17:49,776
Nobody's done that
since André the Giant.
346
00:17:51,496 --> 00:17:53,728
Homer Simpson, you'll leave a ring.
347
00:17:54,316 --> 00:17:57,071
Ta‐da! A snap‐on coaster.
348
00:17:57,191 --> 00:17:58,251
Nifty, huh?
349
00:17:58,385 --> 00:18:00,235
What the...? Where'd you get this thing?
350
00:18:00,314 --> 00:18:01,501
I invented it.
351
00:18:02,336 --> 00:18:05,110
How many of these
things did you have made?
352
00:18:05,469 --> 00:18:08,118
A thousand. I wanted
to start a business.
353
00:18:08,342 --> 00:18:12,360
A thousand, huh? That
must've been expensive.
354
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:16,220
That's what I thought, but
it was only 65 cents apiece.
355
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:19,774
So 650 bucks total?
356
00:18:19,909 --> 00:18:21,977
When did you get so
good at your timeses?
357
00:18:22,107 --> 00:18:25,805
[GASPS] It was you, but the
whole time you denied it.
358
00:18:25,865 --> 00:18:27,567
It was always you!
359
00:18:27,869 --> 00:18:32,837
- [SOBBING] I‐I can explain.
- No! No explanation.
360
00:18:32,961 --> 00:18:34,212
Kids, get in here!
361
00:18:34,505 --> 00:18:37,595
For once in this marriage,
you did the wrong thing.
362
00:18:37,718 --> 00:18:39,439
I am going to savor this.
363
00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:43,079
I am gonna wait until I do
something wrong, and then...
364
00:18:44,518 --> 00:18:45,743
Okay, we're even.
365
00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:48,009
Well, let me just explain why.
366
00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:50,900
Every day, you go out to
your friends, to Moe's.
367
00:18:51,135 --> 00:18:53,037
Life to you is an adventure.
368
00:18:53,222 --> 00:18:55,991
And I had an idea, an idea for something
369
00:18:56,016 --> 00:18:58,151
that might make me somebody.
370
00:18:58,484 --> 00:19:02,421
But I admit it, I was
gambling, on myself.
371
00:19:03,623 --> 00:19:05,278
[SOBBING]: I understand, honey.
372
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,232
I completely understand.
373
00:19:08,298 --> 00:19:10,810
[BOTH SOBBING]
374
00:19:11,004 --> 00:19:13,465
‐ What's going on?
‐ Well, Lisa,
375
00:19:13,578 --> 00:19:16,593
‐ I'm afraid I have to say...
‐ Lisa, I just want you to know
376
00:19:16,618 --> 00:19:20,398
your mother's about to say that
the money was eaten by rats.
377
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,350
‐ But...
‐ How did rats get inside the can?
378
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,397
Uh... Grampa left it open.
379
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,850
Oh, why do they blame
everything around here on me?
380
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,741
‐ [MICROWAVE DINGS]
‐ Oh, good, the cat's done.
381
00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:35,111
Marge, I'd like to take a walk
with the greatest woman ever.
382
00:19:35,281 --> 00:19:36,338
Oh.
383
00:19:36,585 --> 00:19:40,572
From that moment on, Homer
and I had never been closer.
384
00:19:40,711 --> 00:19:42,963
HOMER: We shared a dark secret.
385
00:19:43,256 --> 00:19:45,009
It was so sexy.
386
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,517
[BOTH MOANING]
387
00:19:46,736 --> 00:19:48,938
Marge, I have a secret, too.
388
00:19:49,232 --> 00:19:51,731
[WHISPERS]: I'm losing my hair.
389
00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:59,067
"The Great Simpson
Robbery remains unsol..."
390
00:19:59,202 --> 00:20:01,500
W‐Wait, what do you mean unsolved?
391
00:20:01,638 --> 00:20:03,841
[STAMMERS] What the hell is this?
392
00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:06,770
My public expects me to
solve the mystery, Bob.
393
00:20:06,813 --> 00:20:09,622
It's not like we can just
change the format of the show.
394
00:20:09,754 --> 00:20:11,583
You just read the copy.
395
00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:13,872
Our viewers want one thing, it's simple:
396
00:20:13,972 --> 00:20:16,682
solve the freakin' crime,
be told who did it.
397
00:20:16,786 --> 00:20:18,731
[HOARSELY]: And I am the soothing voice,
398
00:20:18,756 --> 00:20:20,551
‐ the reassuring voice that... Ah!
‐ [POP]
399
00:20:20,835 --> 00:20:22,282
[QUIETLY]: Did you hear
that? Oh, my God,
400
00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:25,070
I snapped my right vocal
cord... that's the dulcet one.
401
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,492
Quick! Prep him for cord transplant.
402
00:20:28,138 --> 00:20:29,813
♪ ♪
403
00:20:29,838 --> 00:20:31,039
We don't have a human donor.
404
00:20:31,066 --> 00:20:32,667
All we have is the
vocal cord of a sheep.
405
00:20:37,675 --> 00:20:39,462
And I'm [BLEATING]: ba‐a‐ack.
406
00:20:39,743 --> 00:20:42,266
He has an unbelievable work
ethic for a voice‐over actor.
407
00:20:42,862 --> 00:20:47,941
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
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