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1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:03,601
♪ ooh ♪
2
00:00:03,669 --> 00:00:06,571
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,639 --> 00:00:10,175
♪ travel down a road
and back again ♪
4
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,044
♪ your heart is true ♪
5
00:00:12,111 --> 00:00:16,915
♪ you're a pal
and a confidante ♪
6
00:00:16,982 --> 00:00:20,419
♪ and if you threw
a party ♪
7
00:00:20,486 --> 00:00:24,789
♪ invited everyone
you knew ♪
8
00:00:24,857 --> 00:00:26,091
♪ you would see ♪
9
00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:28,427
♪ the biggest gift
would be from me ♪
10
00:00:28,494 --> 00:00:31,296
♪ and the card attached
would say ♪
11
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,365
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,467
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:38,803
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪♪
14
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,146
Captioning made possible by
witt/thomas/harris productions,
cbs television network,
15
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,915
And 1992 nci caption club/
grantsmanship
16
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,187
Oh, man.
17
00:00:55,254 --> 00:00:56,521
[coughs]
18
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:58,457
Oh, god.
19
00:01:00,526 --> 00:01:01,693
[coughs]
20
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:07,932
Ah, chihuahua.
21
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,969
Sophia, what does this
look like to you?
22
00:01:11,036 --> 00:01:13,205
George hamilton
in five years.
23
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:18,510
No, sophia. I think
you overcooked this.
24
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,511
No, I didn't.
25
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,612
Oh, really?
26
00:01:20,679 --> 00:01:22,614
Have you ever seen a duck
27
00:01:22,681 --> 00:01:24,249
This black and smoky?
28
00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:25,850
I have. Daffy.
29
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,456
But only after
bugs bunny gives him
a dynamite cigar.
30
00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:34,192
Why doesn't that
duck ever learn?
31
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,229
He can't, rose.
He doesn't have a brain.
32
00:01:37,296 --> 00:01:39,264
Sound familiar?
33
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,732
Oh,
I'm the dumb one?
34
00:01:40,799 --> 00:01:43,235
You're the one
who's overcooked
three meals today.
35
00:01:43,302 --> 00:01:46,271
If we had a
stupid-person race,
36
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:48,673
I think
you'd come in first.
37
00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,475
Maybe the oven is broken.
38
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:51,610
Oh, it is.
39
00:01:51,677 --> 00:01:55,447
Didn't you get the note
I left inside the oven?
40
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:59,884
And at the wire,
it's rose by a nose.
41
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,455
Sorry. Things have been
a little tight lately.
42
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:06,124
We've been putting off
some repairs.
43
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:09,361
Blanche said she'd
call the repairman.
44
00:02:09,428 --> 00:02:11,263
You had blanche
call the repairman?
45
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:12,764
Why is that so bad?
46
00:02:12,831 --> 00:02:15,767
Well, she's
been seeing him
for a year.
47
00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:19,604
The only thing
he ever services
out here is her.
48
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:22,106
Before him,
it was the maytag guy.
49
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:25,243
Believe me,
he doesn't look like that
because he's lonely.
50
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,645
He's exhausted.
51
00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:35,687
I don't know whether
you want it or not,
52
00:02:35,754 --> 00:02:37,722
But there's
another message.
53
00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,191
Miles again.
54
00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:41,193
Yep. Third time
he's called today.
55
00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:43,695
He says he really
has to talk to you.
56
00:02:43,762 --> 00:02:46,198
I bet that woman
he's been seeing
dumped him.
57
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:49,701
I bet she
reduced him to a pile
of groveling rubble,
58
00:02:49,768 --> 00:02:53,137
Wiping out
every last ounce
of his self-esteem.
59
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:54,706
Ha ha ha ha!
60
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:58,443
Why do you suppose
miles keeps calling?
61
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,313
My guess is
he wants to get back
together.
62
00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:03,047
But you're not
considering it?
63
00:03:03,115 --> 00:03:05,049
I don't know.
I'm so confused.
64
00:03:05,117 --> 00:03:07,819
I want to make
an intelligent decision.
65
00:03:07,886 --> 00:03:08,986
Ha ha!
66
00:03:11,557 --> 00:03:13,491
Half of me
misses him terribly,
67
00:03:13,559 --> 00:03:16,494
Half of me wants
to get on with my life.
68
00:03:16,562 --> 00:03:18,963
And the other half
of me...
69
00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:20,998
Wants to take an ax
70
00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:22,967
And hitchhike
around the midwest
71
00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:26,838
Looking for guys
who look like miles.
72
00:03:26,905 --> 00:03:29,341
O.K., let the evil rose
go to sleep.
73
00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:32,444
I want to talk
to the good rose now.
74
00:03:32,511 --> 00:03:33,478
Coming up.
75
00:03:38,317 --> 00:03:40,752
Honey, I know this
is difficult for you,
76
00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:42,254
But miles hurt you,
77
00:03:42,321 --> 00:03:45,390
And he'll hurt you again
unless you're strong.
78
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:46,391
You're right.
79
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:47,892
I should stop
letting miles
80
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,894
Come and go
as he pleases,
81
00:03:49,962 --> 00:03:51,963
But what
should I do?
82
00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:54,266
You're going to start
dating again.
83
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:57,135
Maybe you're right.
I should meet
some new men.
84
00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:58,637
There you go.
85
00:03:58,704 --> 00:04:00,305
I don't need miles.
86
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,406
Tell it.
87
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:03,241
I get along fine
without him.
88
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,376
Now you're talking!
89
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:07,412
Can I sleep
in your room tonight?
90
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:12,484
Well, it's going to be
a little crowded...
91
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:13,985
But what the hell?
92
00:04:14,052 --> 00:04:17,021
It is a great place
to meet men.
93
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,495
You're not finished
going over the books yet?
94
00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:26,864
No. There's $300
I can't account for.
95
00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:29,834
Just do what I do
when my checkbook
won't balance.
96
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:34,071
Just take the $300
and put it in
the whoopsie column.
97
00:04:34,139 --> 00:04:37,074
There must be
something wrong
with this ledger.
98
00:04:37,142 --> 00:04:39,611
I can't find
any whoopsie column.
99
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:40,779
What the...
100
00:04:40,846 --> 00:04:42,280
Now, don't get sarcastic.
101
00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:43,782
I learned that system
102
00:04:43,849 --> 00:04:46,284
From a guy who owned
a savings and loan.
103
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,853
It's perfectly legal.
104
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:52,390
Look, this is more
than whoopsie money,
blanche.
105
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,926
There's a pattern
going on here.
106
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,561
I think
somebody's stealing.
107
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,062
Oh? Oh. Well, then,
108
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,031
The thief
has to be caught.
109
00:05:00,098 --> 00:05:02,567
I will not allow
thievery in my hotel.
110
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,068
Whoever
this guttersnipe is,
111
00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:05,537
I'll snatch him.
112
00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:08,072
You'd be surprised
how good I am
113
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:11,008
At getting people
to expose themselves.
114
00:05:12,778 --> 00:05:14,713
I hope I'm wrong
about this,
115
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,848
But let's watch
what we spend,
116
00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:19,351
And we don't
want to arouse any
unnecessary suspicion,
117
00:05:19,418 --> 00:05:22,019
So don't tell anybody
we got money problems.
118
00:05:22,087 --> 00:05:24,888
My lips are sealed.
119
00:05:25,189 --> 00:05:26,123
My lips are sealyour stay?
120
00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:27,124
Actually, no.
121
00:05:27,191 --> 00:05:28,558
No?
122
00:05:28,626 --> 00:05:32,029
I came here
to visit my aunt edna
in the hospital.
123
00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:34,564
She's the only family
I have left,
124
00:05:34,632 --> 00:05:38,035
And the doctor says
it doesn't look very good.
125
00:05:38,102 --> 00:05:41,771
When she's gone,
I'll be all alone.
126
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,274
Well, when you come back
for the funeral,
127
00:05:44,342 --> 00:05:46,843
I hope you think of us.
128
00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,449
Blanche, I can't
believe you.
129
00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:54,918
Sorry, but if we kee
losing money like this,
130
00:05:54,986 --> 00:05:56,420
We'll be walking
the streets.
131
00:05:56,487 --> 00:05:59,522
Well, at least
you'll have a job.
132
00:06:03,661 --> 00:06:04,761
Excuse me.
133
00:06:04,829 --> 00:06:08,031
You leave my personal life
out of this, you nitwit.
134
00:06:08,099 --> 00:06:11,034
Don't you take
your frustrations
out on me,
135
00:06:11,102 --> 00:06:12,535
You...Cheap...
Scallop.
136
00:06:13,838 --> 00:06:17,407
The word is trollop,
you moron.
137
00:06:17,475 --> 00:06:20,277
I am a cheap trollop.
138
00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:23,813
Excuse me.
139
00:06:23,881 --> 00:06:27,917
I'm looking for
a friendly, relaxed place
to hold my wedding.
140
00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:30,354
You certainly came
to the right place.
141
00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:31,821
We're wedding
specialists.
142
00:06:31,889 --> 00:06:34,358
For the right price,
we can do anything.
143
00:06:34,425 --> 00:06:36,860
I can give you
ice sculptures,
144
00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:39,129
Champagne fountains,
a string quartet.
145
00:06:39,197 --> 00:06:41,999
We're getting married
in two days.
146
00:06:42,066 --> 00:06:45,002
Crepe paper
and pudding pops.
Take it or leave it.
147
00:06:45,069 --> 00:06:47,004
I was hoping
for something
148
00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:49,806
With a little more
romance and class.
149
00:06:49,874 --> 00:06:52,809
I have a great idea
for a theme
150
00:06:52,877 --> 00:06:54,811
If you don't mind
tradition.
151
00:06:54,879 --> 00:06:58,248
I call it
"contentment isn't
just for cows."
152
00:07:00,451 --> 00:07:03,387
This is your idea
of tradition?
153
00:07:03,454 --> 00:07:04,888
It's a st. Olaf
tradition.
154
00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:06,789
That's the dumbest
thing I ever heard.
155
00:07:06,857 --> 00:07:08,591
I love it.
156
00:07:08,659 --> 00:07:10,327
It's perfect.
157
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:12,062
I was raised
in the country.
158
00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:13,563
This sounds like fun.
159
00:07:13,631 --> 00:07:15,432
What do you envision?
160
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,933
It's a little daring,
161
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:19,936
But I see the groom
in black
162
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,938
And the bride in white.
163
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:24,741
You know, classic
holstein colors.
164
00:07:24,808 --> 00:07:28,211
Oh, no.
Not the cow wedding
again, rose.
165
00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:29,712
Let me write you
a check.
166
00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:31,248
It's perfect.
167
00:07:36,754 --> 00:07:38,721
There's another $200
missing.
168
00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:40,924
Another 200?
Did you check?
169
00:07:40,991 --> 00:07:43,893
Yeah. I even checked
the whoopsie column.
170
00:07:43,961 --> 00:07:45,895
O.K., that's it.
No more stalling.
171
00:07:45,963 --> 00:07:48,398
We got to find out
who that thief is.
172
00:07:48,466 --> 00:07:50,567
It's somebody
who works here.
173
00:07:50,634 --> 00:07:52,069
They're probably
doing something
174
00:07:52,136 --> 00:07:54,071
To throw us
off the track.
175
00:07:54,138 --> 00:07:56,440
Whoever it is
is playing dumb.
176
00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:58,007
[ring]
177
00:07:58,076 --> 00:07:59,642
May I help you?
178
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:07,451
[ring]
179
00:08:07,518 --> 00:08:09,018
May I help you?
180
00:08:11,222 --> 00:08:12,689
Darn those kids.
181
00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:17,060
Nobody could be
that stupid.
182
00:08:17,128 --> 00:08:19,062
Got to be an act.
183
00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:20,564
Let's go nail her.
184
00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:22,966
Rose, wait a minute.
185
00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:25,969
Let's talk about
this money you took.
186
00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:27,036
Oh, no.
187
00:08:28,473 --> 00:08:31,408
Oh, I knew I'd
get caught eventually.
188
00:08:31,476 --> 00:08:33,910
Thank goodness
it's out in the open.
189
00:08:33,978 --> 00:08:36,113
I don't have
to hide anymore.
190
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,215
How did yurgin find me?
191
00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:41,784
Yurgin who?
192
00:08:41,852 --> 00:08:43,853
Yurgin shtultvinbrudengurder.
193
00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:51,995
The boy I took
the nickel from
in the third grade.
194
00:08:53,664 --> 00:08:56,099
He was doing
this magic trick on me.
195
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:59,102
You know, where you put
a nickel in one ear
196
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:01,104
And pull it out
the other?
197
00:09:01,172 --> 00:09:06,476
Well, somehow
the nickel got lost
between my ears.
198
00:09:08,812 --> 00:09:13,250
I've never been able
to get that nickel
off my mind.
199
00:09:13,317 --> 00:09:18,054
Poor yurgin.
He wanted so much
to be a magician.
200
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:19,556
I ruined his life.
201
00:09:19,624 --> 00:09:21,691
We know
how he feels, rose.
202
00:09:23,761 --> 00:09:26,196
At least
I know it's not her.
Who's next?
203
00:09:26,264 --> 00:09:27,697
Well, how about sophia?
204
00:09:27,765 --> 00:09:29,199
Sophia?
Don't be ridiculous.
205
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:31,201
She would never
steal from us.
206
00:09:31,269 --> 00:09:33,703
Sophia's been
like a mother to me
207
00:09:33,771 --> 00:09:35,172
For these
last eight years.
208
00:09:35,239 --> 00:09:37,307
I wouldn't dream
of accusing her.
209
00:09:37,375 --> 00:09:40,410
All right, you little witch,
where's the money?
210
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:45,482
What money? I don't know
what you're talking about.
211
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:48,652
Stop stalling.
Don't make me get rough.
212
00:09:48,719 --> 00:09:51,621
I'm not talking, screw.
213
00:09:51,689 --> 00:09:55,058
By the way,
that's a nickname,
not a suggestion.
214
00:09:56,994 --> 00:09:59,429
Listen, sophia, there's $500
missing from this hotel,
215
00:09:59,497 --> 00:10:02,098
And you had access
to that money.
216
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:04,267
Right. Somebody
had to take it.
217
00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:05,768
You assume it was me?
218
00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:09,306
I've never done
a dishonest thing
in my life.
219
00:10:09,373 --> 00:10:12,175
Oh, yeah? Would you take
a lie detector test?
220
00:10:12,243 --> 00:10:15,078
Ah, you can beat
those things.
221
00:10:15,145 --> 00:10:17,080
O.K., you don't
want to talk.
222
00:10:17,147 --> 00:10:19,048
Perhaps you'd prefer
to listen...
223
00:10:19,116 --> 00:10:22,151
To one of rose's
st. Olaf stories!
224
00:10:23,354 --> 00:10:25,288
Please, blanche,
I told you,
225
00:10:25,356 --> 00:10:27,290
I didn't take the money.
226
00:10:27,358 --> 00:10:30,227
O.K., rose, give her
the uncle herky story
227
00:10:30,294 --> 00:10:32,762
And don't hold back
on the talking chickens.
228
00:10:34,131 --> 00:10:36,065
Blanche, there are
no talking chickens
229
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:37,701
In the uncle herky
story.
230
00:10:37,768 --> 00:10:39,202
Yeah, that's right.
231
00:10:39,270 --> 00:10:40,704
There's
no talking chickens.
232
00:10:40,771 --> 00:10:42,205
There's ticktocking
chickens.
233
00:10:42,273 --> 00:10:43,707
Little poultry
time bombs,
234
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:45,208
Every one of them.
235
00:10:45,276 --> 00:10:46,209
Emotional messes.
236
00:10:46,277 --> 00:10:48,010
They roamed through
the countryside--
237
00:10:48,078 --> 00:10:49,812
Stop it, blanche!
Stop it!
238
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,415
Oh ho! I knew it was you
all along!
239
00:10:52,483 --> 00:10:53,916
It's not me.
240
00:10:53,984 --> 00:10:56,419
I just wanted to hear
the uncle herky story.
241
00:10:56,487 --> 00:10:58,288
It sounds pretty cool.
242
00:10:58,356 --> 00:10:59,822
Thanks for
the diversion, chuy.
243
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:02,392
It's good knowing
someone will
stick up for me.
244
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:04,894
Besides,
it's obvious who
took the money.
245
00:11:04,962 --> 00:11:07,096
Or should
I say dinero?
246
00:11:07,164 --> 00:11:08,998
What?
247
00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:11,000
What is she
talking about?
248
00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:13,370
Why would I take
the money?
249
00:11:13,437 --> 00:11:14,904
Oh, chuy, let's face it.
250
00:11:14,972 --> 00:11:16,906
You're the most likely
suspect.
251
00:11:16,974 --> 00:11:19,909
You know,
- this isn't the first time
252
00:11:19,977 --> 00:11:22,612
I've been on the
receiving end of prejudice.
253
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,113
I know I look different.
254
00:11:24,181 --> 00:11:27,116
People like you
look at a guy like me
255
00:11:27,184 --> 00:11:29,352
And just jump
to conclusions.
256
00:11:31,955 --> 00:11:35,592
Boy, short guys
are so insecure.
257
00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:39,996
So, I've made
a decision.
258
00:11:40,063 --> 00:11:42,999
I'm getting
back together again
with miles.
259
00:11:43,066 --> 00:11:44,334
What?
260
00:11:44,402 --> 00:11:46,836
Oh, don't try
to talk me out of it.
261
00:11:46,904 --> 00:11:49,306
I've given this
a lot of thought.
262
00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:51,341
I'll make him
suffer a bit,
263
00:11:51,409 --> 00:11:53,343
I'll make him
plead with me,
264
00:11:53,411 --> 00:11:55,278
But I'll give in.
265
00:11:55,346 --> 00:11:58,415
Why? Youere doing
so well on your own.
266
00:11:58,482 --> 00:11:59,916
I'm not doing
that well.
267
00:11:59,983 --> 00:12:02,419
It took me 10 years
to get over charlie,
268
00:12:02,486 --> 00:12:05,855
And I don't have that
kind of time again.
269
00:12:05,923 --> 00:12:08,858
I mean, maybe I am
giving in,
270
00:12:08,926 --> 00:12:10,360
Maybe I'm settling,
271
00:12:10,428 --> 00:12:13,363
But at my age, I can't
afford to be proud.
272
00:12:13,431 --> 00:12:14,364
But, rose--
273
00:12:14,432 --> 00:12:15,865
What can I tell you?
274
00:12:15,933 --> 00:12:19,369
I still call him up
in the middle
of the night
275
00:12:19,437 --> 00:12:21,871
Just to hear
the cute things
he says...
276
00:12:21,939 --> 00:12:24,341
"don't you know
what time it is?"
277
00:12:24,408 --> 00:12:27,377
"this happens again,
I'm calling
the police."
278
00:12:27,445 --> 00:12:29,479
"who the hell
is this?"
279
00:12:30,981 --> 00:12:34,417
And then,
before I hang up,
I always say,
280
00:12:34,485 --> 00:12:38,221
"you blew it
big time,
smart boy."
281
00:12:39,423 --> 00:12:41,558
And he doesn't
recognize your voice?
282
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:44,661
No. I talk to him
through a kazoo.
283
00:12:53,804 --> 00:12:57,206
And after the kiss,
you and your new husband
284
00:12:57,274 --> 00:12:59,843
Will head back
up the aisle,
285
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:02,245
Your bridesmaids
will moo...
286
00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:06,883
And that will be that.
287
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:08,651
Oh, it's beautiful.
288
00:13:08,719 --> 00:13:11,153
Oh, it's the wedding
I never had.
289
00:13:11,221 --> 00:13:13,189
My husband charlie
wouldn't allow me
290
00:13:13,257 --> 00:13:15,692
To have a dairy theme
at ours.
291
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:16,926
He was...
292
00:13:16,994 --> 00:13:18,795
Proud?
293
00:13:18,863 --> 00:13:19,863
Lactose intolerant.
294
00:13:21,198 --> 00:13:25,001
Well, I hope you get
your wish someday.
295
00:13:25,068 --> 00:13:27,103
Who knows?
Maybe I will.
296
00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:30,039
I'm having
my old boyfriend
over today.
297
00:13:30,107 --> 00:13:31,541
He wants me back.
298
00:13:31,609 --> 00:13:35,412
I'm sure you're going
to make him very happy.
299
00:13:35,479 --> 00:13:38,848
I'm going
to make him crawl.
300
00:13:38,916 --> 00:13:42,051
Boy, I'm glad I'm out
of the dating scene.
301
00:13:42,119 --> 00:13:44,521
My man problems
are over forever.
302
00:13:45,956 --> 00:13:46,890
Fern?
303
00:13:46,957 --> 00:13:48,257
Miles.
- Oh.
304
00:13:48,325 --> 00:13:49,759
You know him?
305
00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:53,262
Oh, yes. This is the man I'm
getting back together with.
306
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,864
Do you know him?
307
00:13:54,932 --> 00:13:57,967
This is the man
I'm going to marry.
308
00:13:59,369 --> 00:14:02,371
This is the man
who's my secret lover.
309
00:14:07,244 --> 00:14:10,413
Just pointing out that
things could get worse.
310
00:14:19,455 --> 00:14:22,324
This is the man you're
going to marry? ? Miles?
311
00:14:22,392 --> 00:14:23,758
My miles?
312
00:14:23,826 --> 00:14:27,262
You were planning on
getting back together
with this woman?
313
00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:29,631
I came to talk
to rose.
314
00:14:29,698 --> 00:14:31,766
You came to cheat
on fern.
315
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:33,301
I'm not cheating
on fern.
316
00:14:33,369 --> 00:14:35,803
Would you like to explain
why you came here
317
00:14:35,871 --> 00:14:38,473
To beg me
to take you back?
318
00:14:38,541 --> 00:14:41,410
I'm here to tell you
I am getting married.
319
00:14:41,477 --> 00:14:43,545
Ha! You call that
begging?
320
00:14:45,881 --> 00:14:48,250
This is horrible.
Rose, I'm sorry.
321
00:14:48,317 --> 00:14:49,784
So wait a minute.
322
00:14:49,852 --> 00:14:52,287
You didn't know that
fern was planning on
323
00:14:52,355 --> 00:14:53,788
Having
the wedding here?
324
00:14:53,856 --> 00:14:55,323
I had no idea.
325
00:14:55,391 --> 00:14:58,260
I didn't tell you
because I wanted
to surprise you
326
00:14:58,327 --> 00:14:59,761
With the cow theme.
327
00:15:01,297 --> 00:15:03,698
We're--we're having
a cow theme?
328
00:15:03,766 --> 00:15:04,732
I know.
329
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,734
Isn't that, like,
the craziest thing
330
00:15:06,802 --> 00:15:08,203
You've ever
heard of?
331
00:15:08,271 --> 00:15:09,737
I've heard of it,
332
00:15:09,805 --> 00:15:14,309
But I never dreamed
I'd be lucky enough
to have one.
333
00:15:16,579 --> 00:15:19,013
So whose idea
do you think it was?
334
00:15:19,082 --> 00:15:22,250
How many times
have we talked about
this very thing?
335
00:15:22,318 --> 00:15:23,751
Look, rose, sweetheart--
336
00:15:23,819 --> 00:15:25,253
Don't sweetheart me.
337
00:15:25,321 --> 00:15:28,356
This was supposed
to be our day,
338
00:15:28,424 --> 00:15:29,824
Our wedding, our life.
339
00:15:29,892 --> 00:15:33,595
Well, you blew it
big time, smart boy.
340
00:15:35,631 --> 00:15:39,134
Oh, my god.
She's the kazoo woman!
341
00:15:47,743 --> 00:15:49,177
You're up late.
342
00:15:49,245 --> 00:15:51,146
What choice do I have?
343
00:15:51,214 --> 00:15:53,681
I have to go
through all my cookbooks
344
00:15:53,749 --> 00:15:56,184
To find out what
a cow wedding might be.
345
00:15:56,252 --> 00:15:59,187
It's not like
there's a lot
written about it.
346
00:15:59,255 --> 00:16:00,688
What will you make?
347
00:16:00,756 --> 00:16:03,658
I don't know.
What do cows eat?
348
00:16:03,726 --> 00:16:04,726
Grass.
349
00:16:05,928 --> 00:16:08,330
Hey, there's an idea.
350
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,000
You know, I could bake
351
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:16,238
Some of those brownies
I used to make
in the sixties.
352
00:16:18,341 --> 00:16:20,142
Never mind.
353
00:16:20,209 --> 00:16:21,643
Can't sleep, sophia?
354
00:16:21,710 --> 00:16:24,146
No. I'm still
upset about
that inquisition
355
00:16:24,213 --> 00:16:25,647
Blanche
put me through.
356
00:16:25,714 --> 00:16:28,116
Stealing.
She accused me
of stealing.
357
00:16:28,184 --> 00:16:29,717
That's my purse, sophia.
358
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,554
Rose, there you are.
359
00:16:32,622 --> 00:16:35,557
Listen, I can't sleep
because of this wedding.
360
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:37,592
The busineness
is not that important.
361
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,094
If you don't want
to have the wedding here,
362
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:41,596
Let's call it off.
363
00:16:41,664 --> 00:16:44,098
No, it's o.K.
We need
the business.
364
00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:47,302
I feel stupid
thinking miles was
coming to apologize.
365
00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:48,803
You're doing
the right thing.
366
00:16:48,871 --> 00:16:50,305
Always place
your business
first.
367
00:16:50,373 --> 00:16:52,541
I have a story
about that.
368
00:16:52,608 --> 00:16:53,542
Really?
369
00:16:53,609 --> 00:16:54,543
Picture it--
370
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:57,045
An old italian lady
tells a story
371
00:16:57,112 --> 00:16:59,814
To two other
old ladies
and a cook.
372
00:17:01,917 --> 00:17:04,719
No. That's what's
going on here.
373
00:17:06,322 --> 00:17:09,291
I got to go
further back.
374
00:17:09,358 --> 00:17:12,260
Never mind, sophia.
I'll work it out myself.
375
00:17:12,328 --> 00:17:14,563
Where's she going?
376
00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:16,064
I got it.
377
00:17:16,131 --> 00:17:17,199
Picture it--
378
00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:20,569
The time
when dinosaurs
ruled the earth.
379
00:17:20,636 --> 00:17:23,071
Oh, great.
- Now she's going to tell us
380
00:17:23,138 --> 00:17:25,607
One of her
high school stories.
381
00:17:28,211 --> 00:17:31,846
Rose, can I talk to you
for a second?
382
00:17:31,914 --> 00:17:33,815
I'm pretty busy
right now, miles.
383
00:17:33,882 --> 00:17:36,851
Can't this wait
till after you're married
384
00:17:36,919 --> 00:17:38,920
To someone other than me?
385
00:17:38,987 --> 00:17:42,424
Look, rose, I know
how awkward this has
been for you,
386
00:17:42,491 --> 00:17:44,392
But you have
to believe me.
387
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:47,395
I had no intention
of hting you.
388
00:17:47,463 --> 00:17:49,897
I would never let
my personal feelings
for you
389
00:17:49,965 --> 00:17:53,301
Keep me from planning
the best wedding I can.
390
00:17:53,369 --> 00:17:55,637
I'm glad
to hear that, rose.
391
00:17:55,705 --> 00:17:59,006
Hey, what are
these stones for?
392
00:17:59,074 --> 00:18:01,209
I thought we'd throw them
instead of rice.
393
00:18:04,813 --> 00:18:06,248
Ahh...
394
00:18:06,315 --> 00:18:08,250
No, rose,
this is not right.
395
00:18:08,317 --> 00:18:10,485
I can't
get married here.
396
00:18:10,553 --> 00:18:13,755
No, damn it,
you can't do this to me.
397
00:18:13,822 --> 00:18:16,258
You have
to get married here.
398
00:18:16,325 --> 00:18:17,759
Miles,
don't you understand?
399
00:18:17,826 --> 00:18:19,694
It's--it's not
the business,
400
00:18:19,762 --> 00:18:22,464
It's not the money,
it's me.
401
00:18:22,531 --> 00:18:25,667
I have to see you
get married.
402
00:18:25,735 --> 00:18:30,272
I need to know that
our relationship is over.
403
00:18:30,339 --> 00:18:34,442
I want to get on
with my life, too.
404
00:18:36,211 --> 00:18:37,512
I understand.
405
00:18:59,302 --> 00:19:00,201
Aha!
406
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:01,969
Ha ha ha!
407
00:19:02,037 --> 00:19:05,573
Caught you
with your pants down.
408
00:19:05,641 --> 00:19:09,611
It's not exactly
like being first man
on the moon.
409
00:19:11,647 --> 00:19:14,816
I can't
believe this, blanche.
You're the embezzler.
410
00:19:14,883 --> 00:19:17,919
I'm not embezzling.
I'm just taking
some money.
411
00:19:17,986 --> 00:19:19,421
And mickey rooney's
not short,
412
00:19:19,488 --> 00:19:22,324
He's just a couple
of blocks away.
413
00:19:29,398 --> 00:19:31,800
You want to tell me
what you're doing?
414
00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:34,336
I'm taking this money
to hire a detective
415
00:19:34,403 --> 00:19:36,270
To catch the embezzler.
416
00:19:36,339 --> 00:19:39,273
It's you.
Taking the money
is taking the money.
417
00:19:39,342 --> 00:19:40,542
You're embezzling.
418
00:19:40,609 --> 00:19:43,378
No. This is for
business expenses.
419
00:19:43,446 --> 00:19:45,880
Did you put a receipt
in the cash drawer?
420
00:19:45,948 --> 00:19:47,982
Why would I?
It's my money.
421
00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:50,485
The cash drawer
is not your cookie jar.
422
00:19:50,553 --> 00:19:52,787
That's the business' money.
You're embezzling.
423
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:54,689
Whoopsie!
424
00:19:54,757 --> 00:19:58,660
Oh, well, silly me.
I do this all the time.
425
00:19:58,728 --> 00:20:02,296
I guess we don't need
to hire a detective.
426
00:20:02,365 --> 00:20:03,798
Wait a minute.
That's it?
427
00:20:03,866 --> 00:20:06,300
You stir up
all these accusations
and mistrust,
428
00:20:06,369 --> 00:20:08,803
And now you're just
going to walk away?
429
00:20:08,871 --> 00:20:11,272
You're right.
I owe you all
more than that.
430
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:12,273
Thank you.
431
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:14,709
I'll buy
a new dress
432
00:20:14,777 --> 00:20:16,277
To look pretty
for you.
433
00:20:26,989 --> 00:20:29,491
Well, the oven
repairman's leaving.
434
00:20:29,558 --> 00:20:32,494
It's not easy
getting him out here
on the weekends.
435
00:20:32,561 --> 00:20:35,497
I should have asked him
to look at the oven
436
00:20:35,564 --> 00:20:37,532
While he was here.
437
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,033
How's the wedding going?
438
00:20:39,101 --> 00:20:41,002
Fine.
439
00:20:41,069 --> 00:20:43,037
Are you o.K.?
440
00:20:44,206 --> 00:20:46,140
You're doing
the right thing.
441
00:20:46,208 --> 00:20:48,142
I want you to know that.
442
00:20:48,210 --> 00:20:49,644
Oh, I know.
443
00:20:49,712 --> 00:20:51,212
I'm happy.
Really. I am.
444
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,814
Are you sure?
445
00:20:54,717 --> 00:20:58,119
You know me.
I always cry
at weddings.
446
00:21:05,694 --> 00:21:08,696
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
447
00:21:11,433 --> 00:21:14,368
I checked the book.
There's still $100
missssing.
448
00:21:14,436 --> 00:21:15,869
It wasn't me this time.
449
00:21:15,937 --> 00:21:17,338
Keep looking for that.
450
00:21:17,405 --> 00:21:20,374
If we don't find it,
heads will roll.
451
00:21:20,442 --> 00:21:23,143
Man, I got to get lucky.
452
00:21:24,980 --> 00:21:26,013
I...
453
00:21:51,739 --> 00:21:54,608
Captions copyright 1992
touchstone pictures
and television
32216
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