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CEREAL CRACKLES
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00:00:08,999 --> 00:00:11,460
- Can you hear them?
- Oh, yes.
3
00:00:11,521 --> 00:00:13,938
Snap, crackle and pop.
4
00:00:13,999 --> 00:00:16,806
They sounds like tiny people.
5
00:00:16,876 --> 00:00:20,939
Plip-plip-plip-plip-plip!
"Help me, I can't swim!"
6
00:00:20,999 --> 00:00:22,377
Guys, do you mind?
7
00:00:22,438 --> 00:00:23,666
What are they doing?
8
00:00:23,933 --> 00:00:25,995
Talking about the cereal.
GRUNTING
9
00:00:26,056 --> 00:00:29,198
Red man! Red man!
Red man! Red man!
10
00:00:29,259 --> 00:00:31,048
- Postman's coming.
- How do you...?
11
00:00:31,108 --> 00:00:32,089
Oh!
12
00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:34,442
I'll go with you.
♪ Friends together ♪
13
00:00:34,503 --> 00:00:35,996
♪ Fetch the post together... ♪
14
00:00:38,999 --> 00:00:42,021
Cornflakes were actually invented
15
00:00:42,082 --> 00:00:45,365
to stop people from
touching themselves, apparently.
16
00:00:45,426 --> 00:00:46,921
Never did like cornflakes.
17
00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,188
Give me an egg atop a cutlet
any day of the diary.
18
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:50,521
TOASTER POPS
SCREAMS: Ooh!
19
00:00:50,582 --> 00:00:53,207
- Toaster.
- Yes, I know, I wasn't scared.
20
00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:54,868
♪ Let me read the post... ♪
21
00:00:55,048 --> 00:00:57,741
It's so exciting
reading one's correspondences.
22
00:00:57,801 --> 00:00:59,587
I bet these are from all your admirers.
23
00:00:59,648 --> 00:01:02,072
WHISPERS: I promise I won't tell Michael!
- Anything interesting?
24
00:01:02,132 --> 00:01:05,329
Red bill. Red bill. Normal bill.
25
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:07,005
- Ooh!
GHOSTS: - Ooh!
26
00:01:09,549 --> 00:01:11,798
They're looking for a house
to film a new drama in.
27
00:01:11,859 --> 00:01:13,066
GHOSTS GASP
28
00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:14,813
Oh, I smell money!
29
00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:18,054
- You can eat them now.
- What?
30
00:01:18,115 --> 00:01:20,693
They have stopped calling out.
They are dead.
31
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Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
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ALISON: Yeah, I mean,
it really is an incredible place.
33
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The building itself is 15th-century.
34
00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:53,153
- Wow.
- 1469, to be precise.
35
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:55,716
Very good.
But the facade is actually mid-16th.
36
00:01:55,777 --> 00:01:57,491
But the facade is actually mid-16th.
37
00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:59,903
'Tis the finest house in the county.
38
00:02:01,026 --> 00:02:03,033
Tell her it's the finest house
in the county.
39
00:02:03,094 --> 00:02:04,324
I don't want to...
40
00:02:05,034 --> 00:02:07,384
blow our own trumpet,
41
00:02:07,445 --> 00:02:11,460
but some people say that it is the
finest house in the county.
42
00:02:11,521 --> 00:02:13,406
Shall we go inside?
43
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,542
I'm telling you, this is a bad idea.
44
00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:18,074
Actors lounging about the house,
45
00:02:18,134 --> 00:02:20,501
learning lines, wearing make-up,
46
00:02:20,562 --> 00:02:25,019
prancing about the place in
loincloths, topless, oiled up.
47
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,420
- Kissing each other probably.
- Oh, gosh!
48
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,242
I don't think it's that kind of film, mate!
49
00:02:29,302 --> 00:02:31,481
This was the banqueting hall.
50
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,045
- Great space.
- Boo!
51
00:02:33,106 --> 00:02:34,372
Oh!
Agh!
52
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:38,256
Oh, I forgot to take out the bins.
53
00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:41,406
Anyway, what could I tell you
about this room?
54
00:02:41,466 --> 00:02:43,711
Henry VIII actually dined here.
55
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,691
Wow!
Henry VIII actually dined here.
56
00:02:45,752 --> 00:02:47,886
Sorry, did I say "wow"?
57
00:02:47,947 --> 00:02:49,956
I'm just still amazed by that.
58
00:02:50,017 --> 00:02:51,727
- No, it is wow.
- Yeah.
59
00:02:51,788 --> 00:02:54,943
Yeah, you should've seen the banquet.
He had swan.
60
00:02:55,004 --> 00:02:56,561
- He had swan.
- And hog.
61
00:02:56,622 --> 00:02:58,025
- And hog.
- And dumplings.
62
00:02:58,086 --> 00:02:59,037
And figs.
63
00:02:59,098 --> 00:03:01,126
- And figs.
- Absolutely stank out the privy.
64
00:03:01,187 --> 00:03:05,078
And absolutely loved the place.
Absolutely loved it.
65
00:03:05,139 --> 00:03:06,406
As do we!
66
00:03:06,466 --> 00:03:08,598
MIKE: Hmm.
Shall we move on?
67
00:03:08,659 --> 00:03:10,406
Er, give us a lift?
68
00:03:10,473 --> 00:03:12,061
- Mate?
- HE SIGHS
69
00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:14,297
- OK.
- Thank you. Yay!
70
00:03:15,466 --> 00:03:17,754
- What's the programme, then?
- It's a period drama.
71
00:03:17,815 --> 00:03:19,527
- Oh, what period?
- Stuart!
72
00:03:19,588 --> 00:03:20,486
- Tudor!
- Regency!
73
00:03:20,547 --> 00:03:22,262
- Regency.
- Yes!
74
00:03:22,323 --> 00:03:25,625
THUD!
Sorry! Got carried away!
75
00:03:25,686 --> 00:03:27,406
Oh, there you are!
76
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:30,657
Are you a sight for sore...?
Oh, you are kidding me?
77
00:03:31,756 --> 00:03:36,376
When I have control of the hands,
I am going to punch you so hard.
78
00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:40,913
I think this place is perfect, if you'd be willing
to have us here for a couple of months.
79
00:03:40,973 --> 00:03:42,406
How much would you be offering?
80
00:03:42,466 --> 00:03:45,041
- 3,000.
- We'd have to sleep on it.
81
00:03:45,102 --> 00:03:47,511
- 3,000 a day is the most we can offer.
- A day?!
82
00:03:47,572 --> 00:03:49,916
SHE SNORES
Morning! I've just slept on it and I say yes!
83
00:03:49,976 --> 00:03:51,295
- And it's a yes from me!
- Great!
84
00:03:51,355 --> 00:03:54,124
Just to warn you, though,
it is quite intrusive.
85
00:03:54,185 --> 00:03:56,009
- Lots of personnel.
- Sounds fun.
86
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,776
It can feel like you're not welcome
in your own home.
87
00:03:57,836 --> 00:03:59,759
- Absolutely outrageous.
- We're used to that.
88
00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:01,396
We've had building work going on.
89
00:04:01,457 --> 00:04:03,104
Is there anything structural
we should know about?
90
00:04:03,164 --> 00:04:05,086
- Well, the floor in this room...
- No, no, no!
91
00:04:05,146 --> 00:04:06,702
No, there's nothing structural.
92
00:04:06,762 --> 00:04:09,069
Everything's structurally sound as a pound!
93
00:04:09,130 --> 00:04:10,330
TIMBERS CREAK
94
00:04:10,391 --> 00:04:13,388
We were looking at a property in the
next village, but they're a big family
95
00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:15,925
and they had some issues about
which rooms we could use.
96
00:04:15,986 --> 00:04:19,521
Well, we're easy. You can film
wherever you like, when you like.
97
00:04:19,589 --> 00:04:21,182
Cos it's just the two of us.
98
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,483
Yeah...
99
00:04:27,596 --> 00:04:29,541
CAPTAIN: Oh, here they come.
The riff-raff.
100
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,602
The lags.
This will be chaos.
101
00:04:36,325 --> 00:04:37,528
Hm.
102
00:04:41,762 --> 00:04:43,571
- Morning.
- Mind your backs!
103
00:04:48,332 --> 00:04:50,121
ADs on channel 2, please.
104
00:04:52,762 --> 00:04:54,541
LADY BUTTON:
Well, I'm keeping out of it.
105
00:04:54,602 --> 00:04:58,542
Yes, though I might just, erm... check.
106
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,255
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
Hm.
107
00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:04,117
Um...
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
108
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,702
Oh, that looks absolutely lovely,
that, doesn't it?
109
00:05:08,918 --> 00:05:10,313
You going to put an egg on it?
110
00:05:10,374 --> 00:05:12,835
He's put an egg on it!
HE CHUCKLES
111
00:05:14,307 --> 00:05:16,172
- Can I have some veggie sausages, please?
- No.
112
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,370
- On a roll.
- No.
113
00:05:17,430 --> 00:05:23,089
- Disgusting.
- You be beautiful wigs that I ever did s...
114
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:25,702
Ooh!
SHE RETCHES
115
00:05:25,762 --> 00:05:28,405
Have you left your tongs on, Tina?
116
00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:30,503
Is this meant to be 1820s?
117
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:32,504
Those are Rococo chairs and tables.
118
00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,756
You can tell by the legs.
They're Rococo legs.
119
00:05:35,584 --> 00:05:38,479
Hi, I'm Adam,
I'm the first assistant director.
120
00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:40,487
- Nice to meet you, hi.
- Hi. Mike.
121
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,361
Sorry...
What do you mean, he's still in make-up?
122
00:05:43,422 --> 00:05:45,445
We're not meant to have more than
15 people on this floor,
123
00:05:45,505 --> 00:05:47,602
and some of these things weigh as
much as people, so that's...
124
00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:49,792
It'll be fine.
I'm sure that's an exaggeration.
125
00:05:49,853 --> 00:05:52,104
- But the survey said...
- Yeah, the survey also said
126
00:05:52,164 --> 00:05:55,702
that we need to replace the drains,
and we need this money to do that.
127
00:05:55,762 --> 00:05:57,860
There aren't that many people, anyway.
128
00:06:00,044 --> 00:06:01,905
As long as there isn't anything
that's too heavy.
129
00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:03,141
Mind your backs!
130
00:06:03,202 --> 00:06:06,702
OK! You can store this
in the other room, actually.
131
00:06:06,762 --> 00:06:08,370
It's easier for you then, isn't it?
132
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:10,702
Just keep things a bit more
uncluttered in here.
133
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:14,347
- The room just along there.
- Can we just...? Er...
134
00:06:14,762 --> 00:06:16,537
Little horse go clippy-clippy-clop.
135
00:06:16,598 --> 00:06:18,822
Oh, I see.
Oh, hey!
136
00:06:20,077 --> 00:06:21,742
- No!
- What a business!
137
00:06:24,762 --> 00:06:27,866
Oh, you done it now, man.
138
00:06:27,927 --> 00:06:32,349
I suppose we should call it a day...
Hello to you, sir!
139
00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:33,629
HE CHUCKLES
140
00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:36,108
The gee-gees, come on, then.
Let's have a bit of this.
141
00:06:36,169 --> 00:06:37,685
Come on.
142
00:06:38,235 --> 00:06:40,544
HE STRAINS WITH EFFORT
OK.
143
00:06:40,605 --> 00:06:43,050
That's an arrival on Toby.
Just stepping out of the car.
144
00:06:52,697 --> 00:06:55,257
- Oh, my God.
- Who is that?
145
00:06:55,318 --> 00:06:56,499
Toby Nightingale.
146
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,473
- He is...
- Hot, right?
147
00:06:58,534 --> 00:07:00,888
It's certainly a lot of layers.
148
00:07:00,949 --> 00:07:04,824
No, Kitty, she means to say
she's in love with him.
149
00:07:05,365 --> 00:07:06,702
A knife in my heart!
150
00:07:06,762 --> 00:07:08,640
Look at all his servants.
151
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,236
He looks preposterous.
152
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,237
Nine, ten...
153
00:07:12,762 --> 00:07:14,243
He counts as two.
154
00:07:14,731 --> 00:07:15,946
What are you...?
155
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:19,991
Ah.
156
00:07:20,052 --> 00:07:22,968
- Oh, no.
- Everything OK?
157
00:07:23,029 --> 00:07:24,504
No. Yeah.
Everything's fine.
158
00:07:24,565 --> 00:07:27,957
It's just Toby Nightingale,
that's her free pass.
159
00:07:28,018 --> 00:07:29,480
Free pass?
Oh, right!
160
00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:30,801
Ha! Don't let him hear that.
161
00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:34,026
Yeah, I won't.
I definitely won't.
162
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,191
Julian!
I say, Julian!
163
00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,309
What do you want?
I'm terribly busy.
164
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:45,116
You wouldn't happen to know what
a "free pass" means?
165
00:07:45,177 --> 00:07:48,440
- Something Michael said.
- Oh, yes. Samantha Fox was mine.
166
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:51,285
I do hope she's still modelling.
Very talented lady.
167
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,578
Alison's is this actor fellow.
What does it mean?
168
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:57,702
Well, it's a sort of clause
in a marriage contract.
169
00:07:57,762 --> 00:08:00,961
A named exception to the rule of monogamy.
170
00:08:01,421 --> 00:08:03,827
Sometimes there's a whole list of people
171
00:08:03,888 --> 00:08:06,912
with whom one can enter into
congress without consequences.
172
00:08:06,973 --> 00:08:10,027
- My God!
- Margot had three of the Gladiators on her list.
173
00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:13,640
Wolf, Cobra and John Fashanu.
174
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:17,582
You mean to say that this player,
this minstrel,
175
00:08:17,643 --> 00:08:20,160
is allowed to bed fair Alison?
176
00:08:20,221 --> 00:08:22,513
He's her free pass.
177
00:08:28,762 --> 00:08:32,347
CREW MEMBER: I'll start here,
and I think I'm going to approach...
178
00:08:33,152 --> 00:08:36,517
What are they feeding the metal cow?
179
00:08:36,578 --> 00:08:40,522
Oh! No, that's not a cow, Mary, no.
That's called a camera.
180
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:43,035
Yes.
They're just cleaning the lens.
181
00:08:43,096 --> 00:08:44,919
Is that its mouth?
182
00:08:45,564 --> 00:08:48,853
No, no, no.
That's its, erm, eye.
183
00:08:48,914 --> 00:08:50,872
OK, cheques are happy.
184
00:08:50,933 --> 00:08:52,802
What does that mean?
185
00:08:53,762 --> 00:08:55,370
I thought you weren't interested?
186
00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:58,237
What? No, no, no,
I just wanted to, erm, you know?
187
00:08:58,769 --> 00:09:00,103
Can we clear the frame now?
188
00:09:00,163 --> 00:09:02,457
First positions.
Call for quiet.
189
00:09:02,518 --> 00:09:04,596
- Quiet on set, please!
- That's extraordinary.
190
00:09:04,657 --> 00:09:05,935
Camera set?
191
00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:08,462
MIKE: Huh! Getting a good look, are we?
192
00:09:08,523 --> 00:09:09,937
DIRECTOR: Quiet!
- Hm?
193
00:09:10,938 --> 00:09:12,293
- Alison!
- Shush.
194
00:09:12,354 --> 00:09:13,953
- A word, if you please.
- Shh-shh-shh!
195
00:09:14,013 --> 00:09:16,001
- Is it true that...?
- Shush...
196
00:09:18,794 --> 00:09:20,348
Everyone.
197
00:09:23,988 --> 00:09:25,270
Thank you.
198
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:29,108
- And action!
- Oh, that's very good.
199
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,766
They've left for London.
200
00:09:31,163 --> 00:09:35,701
It's a pity that such a sweet girl
should have such low connections.
201
00:09:35,762 --> 00:09:38,236
Ooh!
She's a fancy flapjack.
202
00:09:38,297 --> 00:09:41,058
Perhaps you are too harsh on
your sex, Miss Jane.
203
00:09:41,199 --> 00:09:44,682
In truth, you have not had
experience of all of society.
204
00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:48,237
I am beginning to believe that this severity
205
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:49,942
is born from other distractions.
206
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:52,788
TIMBERS CREAK
207
00:09:53,707 --> 00:09:57,057
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
208
00:09:57,412 --> 00:09:58,514
My lord.
209
00:09:58,575 --> 00:09:59,962
WHISPERS:
Kiss him!
210
00:10:04,366 --> 00:10:06,537
MAN CLEARS HIS THROAT
What is it? Damn you!
211
00:10:06,598 --> 00:10:09,482
- Yes, what is it? Damn you!
- A letter for you, Lord Byron, sir.
212
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,177
- Byron?
- Cut!
213
00:10:11,238 --> 00:10:15,177
- Cut what? Oh, not my lace!
- Byron? Did he say Byron?
214
00:10:15,238 --> 00:10:17,132
Isn't he going to read the letter?
215
00:10:17,193 --> 00:10:18,896
I'm sure Adam knows what he's doing.
216
00:10:18,957 --> 00:10:21,447
- That's one out, three in.
- Four.
217
00:10:21,508 --> 00:10:24,202
- God, they're everywhere!
- This is about Byron?
218
00:10:24,263 --> 00:10:26,987
Well, yeah, I mean,
the clue is in the title, mate.
219
00:10:27,048 --> 00:10:28,257
HE GASPS
220
00:10:28,318 --> 00:10:30,369
What effrontery is this?
221
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,246
I cannot and will not bear it!
222
00:10:34,428 --> 00:10:36,504
Can we take that key light up a little?
223
00:10:40,762 --> 00:10:42,030
Ohh...
224
00:10:42,988 --> 00:10:45,074
You do light.
225
00:10:45,438 --> 00:10:47,074
HE CHUCKLES
226
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:50,286
- He's smaller in real life, isn't he?
- Taller, if anything.
227
00:10:50,347 --> 00:10:52,702
I wish I could see his calves.
228
00:10:52,762 --> 00:10:55,096
I bet he's got lovely calves.
229
00:10:55,159 --> 00:10:57,498
- Well, I thought that was rather good.
- No good for me.
230
00:10:57,558 --> 00:10:59,297
It sounds like there's a radio on somewhere.
231
00:10:59,357 --> 00:11:01,269
- Can we find out where the...?
- I'm on it.
232
00:11:02,353 --> 00:11:05,297
- I can also hear a wood pigeon.
- Yeah, good luck with that one, mate.
233
00:11:05,357 --> 00:11:08,393
- What's up after this one?
- We're in the bedroom for the sex scene.
234
00:11:09,424 --> 00:11:10,965
Oh, my!
235
00:11:11,025 --> 00:11:14,501
RACING COMMENTARY ON RADIO
236
00:11:15,322 --> 00:11:17,099
Sorry, Julian, they can hear it on set.
237
00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:18,573
No, actually, this is important.
238
00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,850
I need to... Don't do that!
I've got a bet on.
239
00:11:20,911 --> 00:11:22,673
- You've got a bet on?
- That's what I said.
240
00:11:22,733 --> 00:11:25,221
- You can't bet, you're dead.
- All right, don't rub it in.
241
00:11:25,281 --> 00:11:27,322
It's a sportsman's bet with myself.
242
00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:30,698
Ooh, hold on a minute.
You could put a bet on for me.
243
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,870
You haven't got any money, you're...
244
00:11:32,931 --> 00:11:35,062
Dead! I know, you just said that,
I get it!
245
00:11:35,123 --> 00:11:38,919
But you could keep my winnings,
maybe buy yourself a pretty little dress.
246
00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:41,952
Perhaps some make-up.
Make yourself look nice.
247
00:11:42,013 --> 00:11:45,297
I really believe you have it in you, Alison.
248
00:11:45,613 --> 00:11:47,622
Just need a bit of help, that's all.
249
00:11:47,683 --> 00:11:49,211
- Wow.
- You're welcome.
250
00:11:49,272 --> 00:11:54,068
- Just keep the radio off, please!
- Will do! Mystery Queen 10-1!
251
00:11:56,273 --> 00:11:57,738
HE STRAINS WITH EFFORT
252
00:11:57,799 --> 00:12:00,232
- Sorted.
- Thank you. OK!
253
00:12:00,292 --> 00:12:02,159
- I can hear the radio again.
- One sec!
254
00:12:04,153 --> 00:12:06,956
RADIO ON
I told you to turn it off.
255
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:10,297
No, actually, no, you didn't.
You said... Er... hold on a moment!
256
00:12:10,357 --> 00:12:13,297
This is my house too.
I have a right to the amenities.
257
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:15,757
- This is an infringement of my...
- Write to your MP!
258
00:12:17,152 --> 00:12:18,595
She got me there.
259
00:12:18,982 --> 00:12:21,443
Sorry about that.
It won't happen again now.
260
00:12:23,761 --> 00:12:24,981
OK.
261
00:12:25,042 --> 00:12:27,227
Let's not get behind.
First positions, please!
262
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,950
- That's it, Adam, call them to order!
- Sound speed.
263
00:12:30,028 --> 00:12:32,401
Here we go, stand by!
Settle.
264
00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:34,216
- And action!
- Action.
265
00:12:34,277 --> 00:12:36,442
They've left for London.
266
00:12:36,503 --> 00:12:40,816
It's a pity that such a sweet girl
should have such low connections.
267
00:12:40,877 --> 00:12:43,027
- She said that before.
- Yes, that's because...
268
00:12:43,088 --> 00:12:44,563
Please, Pat.
We're turning.
269
00:12:44,624 --> 00:12:47,758
Perhaps you are too harsh on
your sex, Miss Jane.
270
00:12:47,819 --> 00:12:49,890
HE GROANS
In truth you have not had
271
00:12:49,951 --> 00:12:52,107
experience of all of society.
272
00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:58,687
I am beginning to believe that this severity
273
00:12:58,748 --> 00:13:00,447
is born of other distractions.
274
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:05,759
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
275
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,766
ELECTRICITY FIZZES
276
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,485
CAPTAIN: Robin!
277
00:13:09,546 --> 00:13:11,240
ALISON: For God's sake!
278
00:13:14,819 --> 00:13:17,759
Sorry.
It was just a really good take, wasn't it?
279
00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:19,198
Harry!
280
00:13:19,621 --> 00:13:22,582
Sorry, I don't know why that happened.
I'll sort it.
281
00:13:22,643 --> 00:13:25,472
OK, let's cut and reset
as quickly as possible, please.
282
00:13:25,534 --> 00:13:27,893
No, we don't have time.
We'll just use the beginning of that one.
283
00:13:27,953 --> 00:13:29,475
Let's move on before we lose the day.
284
00:13:29,535 --> 00:13:32,006
OK, moving on!
Set up for the next shot, please.
285
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:34,280
CAPTAIN: Moving on, please, everyone.
Moving on.
286
00:13:34,341 --> 00:13:36,759
DIRECTOR:
Can I take a look at playback, please?
287
00:13:36,819 --> 00:13:39,759
RECORDING PLAYS
'Tis witchcraft.
288
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,027
Their souls be captured in the window.
289
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:46,587
Oh, no, no, no. It's all being
recorded on to a video cassette.
290
00:13:47,085 --> 00:13:49,117
But how are they cleft in twain?
291
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,605
They be there and there.
292
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,109
What?
293
00:13:55,982 --> 00:13:57,517
Oh, God.
294
00:14:00,063 --> 00:14:03,807
Um...
Sorry, if I distracted you there.
295
00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:06,759
Oh, I didn't notice.
I was completely in the scene.
296
00:14:06,826 --> 00:14:08,171
Great.
297
00:14:08,399 --> 00:14:09,977
We haven't met, have we?
298
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,781
- I'm Toby.
- I-I-I'm Alison.
299
00:14:13,304 --> 00:14:16,624
Can I just say how good I thought
you were in The Shoe Shiner?
300
00:14:16,685 --> 00:14:17,885
Fire away.
301
00:14:19,032 --> 00:14:22,567
Oh, er, yeah.
I just thought you were so good.
302
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:25,318
- It's actually one of my favourite films.
- I'm Mike.
303
00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:28,146
I completely believed that you were blind.
304
00:14:28,207 --> 00:14:31,140
Thanks. I spent a week at a hotel
for the blind.
305
00:14:31,201 --> 00:14:33,486
Wore a blindfold,
really got to know the condition.
306
00:14:33,547 --> 00:14:35,759
One of the most rewarding times of my life.
307
00:14:35,819 --> 00:14:39,831
- Wow.
- I tell you what, food never tasted so good.
308
00:14:40,519 --> 00:14:42,560
Now I always eat with my eyes closed.
309
00:14:42,621 --> 00:14:43,821
Mind your backs, please!
310
00:14:44,873 --> 00:14:46,349
Whoa-whoa-whoa.
311
00:14:46,410 --> 00:14:49,420
- Excuse me, Toby.
- No problem.
312
00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:50,759
Nice to meet you, Abigail.
313
00:14:50,819 --> 00:14:52,060
It's...
It's Alison.
314
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:55,013
That looks really heavy.
Shall we just come clean?
315
00:14:55,073 --> 00:14:57,000
What, and tell them that they're
working on a death trap?
316
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:59,575
Look, if you go outside, that's one less.
317
00:15:01,819 --> 00:15:03,019
Both of us.
318
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:04,995
Fine.
319
00:15:16,404 --> 00:15:17,759
Curses!
320
00:15:17,819 --> 00:15:20,819
A pox on all of them apart from Alison.
321
00:15:22,036 --> 00:15:23,236
Finally!
322
00:15:25,819 --> 00:15:29,088
Come to coax me back, have you?
It's no use!
323
00:15:29,423 --> 00:15:32,262
Nothing will persuade me to...
Oh, it's you.
324
00:15:32,607 --> 00:15:34,754
Go and get Alis...
Oh, he can't hear me.
325
00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:38,169
Harry, can you hurry with that
light, please?
326
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:41,928
So the metal cow remembers what it sees...
327
00:15:41,989 --> 00:15:43,390
Through its one eye?
328
00:15:43,451 --> 00:15:46,160
Yeah. And it sends the memories
through the cables...
329
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,759
- Worms.
- Worms, if you like.
330
00:15:47,819 --> 00:15:49,531
To the little window.
331
00:15:49,592 --> 00:15:53,582
Where the tiny peoples dance the memories.
332
00:15:54,116 --> 00:15:55,351
Yeah, if you like.
333
00:15:56,663 --> 00:15:59,027
Ohh!
Come to dadda.
334
00:15:59,087 --> 00:16:01,503
There we go, that's all good.
HE GRUNTS
335
00:16:01,654 --> 00:16:04,594
ELECTRICITY FIZZES
336
00:16:04,655 --> 00:16:06,869
HE GRUNTS
THUD!
337
00:16:07,017 --> 00:16:11,550
- Seems to be all right now.
- Thanks, Harry, just one more, from the top.
338
00:16:11,745 --> 00:16:14,759
I thought they were moving on?
When are they moving on?
339
00:16:14,819 --> 00:16:17,564
- Oh, they do lots of different camera angles.
- How many?
340
00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:20,032
Quiet on set, please!
- Quiet on set, please.
341
00:16:20,531 --> 00:16:22,048
- Turning over.
- Sound speed.
342
00:16:22,109 --> 00:16:23,601
- And action!
- Action.
343
00:16:24,211 --> 00:16:26,714
MISS JANE: They've left for London.
It's a pity...
344
00:16:27,011 --> 00:16:28,409
Stand aside, Thorne!
345
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,891
You really want to know what vexed me?
GHOSTS: No!
346
00:16:30,952 --> 00:16:32,322
Fine, I'll tell you.
CAPTAIN SIGHS
347
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:35,035
Lord Byron was my greatest foe.
348
00:16:35,551 --> 00:16:38,805
If I had flesh and this were Byron himself,
349
00:16:38,866 --> 00:16:41,430
I would damn well run him through!
350
00:16:41,981 --> 00:16:43,760
He stole my verse,
351
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,679
my destiny,
352
00:16:46,030 --> 00:16:49,636
and now he is to steal
the woman of my dreams!
353
00:16:49,697 --> 00:16:51,411
You say every woman is
the woman of your dreams.
354
00:16:51,471 --> 00:16:55,017
I have a lot of dreams!
And most of them are about women...
355
00:16:55,078 --> 00:16:58,080
apart from the one
where I have the body of a crab.
356
00:16:58,141 --> 00:17:01,294
SERVANT CLEARS HIS THROAT
What is it? Damn you!
357
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,323
Begging your pardon.
A letter for you, Lord Byron, sir.
358
00:17:04,384 --> 00:17:08,863
I will not tolerate this sordid
pantomime in my house
359
00:17:09,082 --> 00:17:11,759
glorifying this charlatan!
360
00:17:12,002 --> 00:17:13,760
This cad!
361
00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:16,684
This wazzock!
HE GASPS
362
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:17,981
What's a wazzock?
363
00:17:18,042 --> 00:17:19,270
Pat says it!
364
00:17:20,233 --> 00:17:23,041
I'm going to drown myself in the lake.
365
00:17:23,819 --> 00:17:25,612
TEARFULLY: I mean it!
366
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:28,135
- Cut!
- Cut there!
367
00:17:28,196 --> 00:17:31,720
Right, we're going to take a couple of minutes,
just to turn things around for the reverse.
368
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:33,237
Actors, you can relax yourselves off.
369
00:17:33,297 --> 00:17:36,892
Right, that's two minutes, people,
and then we're going to turn it round.
370
00:17:36,953 --> 00:17:40,087
Thank you very much.
God, this is good.
371
00:17:44,602 --> 00:17:46,292
- Oh, hey, Abigail.
- Oh, it's Alis...
372
00:17:46,353 --> 00:17:48,027
I wonder if I could ask you a favour.
373
00:17:48,087 --> 00:17:50,002
I've got this scene later,
I need to run the lines.
374
00:17:50,062 --> 00:17:52,556
I didn't want to ask her, because I
find it can stifle spontaneity,
375
00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:54,758
and I want to keep it fresh and beautiful.
376
00:17:54,819 --> 00:17:56,539
- I'm Lord Byron, obviously.
- Yep.
377
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,759
I've thought of nothing but you all day.
378
00:17:59,017 --> 00:18:01,217
Have you?
Oh...
379
00:18:01,278 --> 00:18:02,903
No, that's the scene, that's the first line.
380
00:18:02,963 --> 00:18:06,052
Oh, oh-oh! Oh!
Of course!
381
00:18:06,113 --> 00:18:08,297
Why would you...?
That's... OK!
382
00:18:08,358 --> 00:18:10,898
- I've thought of nothing but you all day.
- Hm.
383
00:18:11,265 --> 00:18:13,015
Do not deny your feelings.
384
00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:14,625
- I do not.
- Alison?
385
00:18:14,686 --> 00:18:15,967
Oh, my heart.
386
00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:19,074
- First, I will kiss your lips.
- Ohh!
387
00:18:19,855 --> 00:18:21,812
- Then I will undress you.
- Ohh...
388
00:18:21,873 --> 00:18:23,125
And then...
389
00:18:27,761 --> 00:18:28,961
And then...
390
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,639
HE TUTS
Squares!
391
00:19:05,819 --> 00:19:07,819
TOILET FLUSHES
392
00:19:14,347 --> 00:19:16,893
RACING COMMENTARY ON RADIO
Ha! Bingo!
393
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,304
WOMAN:
Can we have some music on, please, Cathy?
394
00:19:19,365 --> 00:19:22,606
My bus, my rules!
I've got 20 quid on this!
395
00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:26,683
Ah, yes.
HE CHUCKLES
396
00:19:27,081 --> 00:19:29,116
You are on a sinful path.
397
00:19:29,177 --> 00:19:31,759
I can't talk about this now.
It's not what you think it is.
398
00:19:31,819 --> 00:19:34,350
Oh, I know all about this
so-called free pass.
399
00:19:34,411 --> 00:19:37,443
Your husband may be satisfied
but, I tell you, I am not.
400
00:19:37,504 --> 00:19:40,759
The marriage vows are sacred,
and I will not have you
401
00:19:40,819 --> 00:19:44,975
sullying the good name of this
family with your wanton debauchery!
402
00:19:56,353 --> 00:19:57,585
Mm...
403
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,199
- Hey!
- Hi!
404
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:01,571
How's it going?
405
00:20:01,632 --> 00:20:04,519
- What are you wearing?
- Oh, I thought I'd go for a run.
406
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,842
- Now? You don't run.
- Hey, going for a run?
407
00:20:06,903 --> 00:20:09,160
Yeah, I like to keep in shape.
408
00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:10,677
What are we talking?
5K?
409
00:20:10,738 --> 00:20:12,621
Pfft!
10... at least.
410
00:20:12,682 --> 00:20:15,094
Cool. I'm actually in training
for my next project.
411
00:20:15,155 --> 00:20:17,900
I'm playing a mountain climber, so I'm
mainly focusing on upper-body strength.
412
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,626
Yeah?
Me... Me too!
413
00:20:21,482 --> 00:20:22,806
One...
414
00:20:23,902 --> 00:20:25,832
Why is that...?
415
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:28,186
Are you actually going up
a real-life mountain?
416
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,422
- Of course.
- Mike couldn't do that.
417
00:20:30,483 --> 00:20:32,104
- He's scared of heights.
- I wouldn't say scared.
418
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:35,062
Oh, I love them, if anything.
Don't faze me at all.
419
00:20:36,922 --> 00:20:39,255
OK, back on in five, everyone!
420
00:20:40,059 --> 00:20:42,758
OK, well, I'd better get going.
421
00:20:42,819 --> 00:20:44,985
- Keep an eye on the floor, yeah?
- Hm.
422
00:20:45,046 --> 00:20:46,810
Enjoy your 10K.
423
00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:50,559
Oh, my God.
How much does that thing weigh?
424
00:20:51,429 --> 00:20:53,171
Watch yourself, coming through.
425
00:20:53,232 --> 00:20:56,306
Where have all these people come from?
There's twice as many.
426
00:20:59,819 --> 00:21:01,427
HE STRAINS
427
00:21:01,487 --> 00:21:02,759
ELECTRICITY FIZZES
428
00:21:02,819 --> 00:21:04,042
In your face!
429
00:21:04,103 --> 00:21:06,357
Robin! What the bally hell
do you think you're playing at?
430
00:21:06,417 --> 00:21:09,759
- Bigger boy made me do it.
- No! It's nonsense, and you know it!
431
00:21:10,029 --> 00:21:13,060
Yeah, I just think it's a shame
we're not just pushing in
432
00:21:13,121 --> 00:21:15,470
for that moment there,
just to capture the emotion.
433
00:21:15,531 --> 00:21:17,227
Well, I'm sure they know what
they're doing, Mary.
434
00:21:17,287 --> 00:21:19,419
Will, can you just push in a little?
Just get the emotion.
435
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,759
- Yeah, sure.
- Well done, Mary!
436
00:21:21,819 --> 00:21:24,332
KITTY SIGHS
This is taking for ever.
437
00:21:35,162 --> 00:21:36,362
Oh!
438
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,260
That's probably about 10K.
439
00:21:49,819 --> 00:21:51,819
Little short cut...
440
00:21:56,027 --> 00:21:57,768
Oh...
Why is that?
441
00:21:57,829 --> 00:21:59,284
BOTH: First positions.
442
00:21:59,974 --> 00:22:03,153
Thanks for your patience, everyone.
This is the last set-up.
443
00:22:03,214 --> 00:22:05,680
Toby.
Toby.
444
00:22:08,502 --> 00:22:10,378
- Lord Byron?
- Yes?
445
00:22:10,439 --> 00:22:11,704
First positions.
446
00:22:14,487 --> 00:22:16,216
- Turning.
- Sound speed!
447
00:22:16,277 --> 00:22:17,759
- And action.
- Action.
448
00:22:17,786 --> 00:22:19,357
They've left for London.
449
00:22:22,662 --> 00:22:24,290
CREAKING
450
00:22:27,217 --> 00:22:30,821
In truth, you have not had
experience of all of society.
451
00:22:32,180 --> 00:22:34,759
I am beginning to believe that this severity
452
00:22:34,819 --> 00:22:36,819
is born from other distractions.
453
00:22:39,819 --> 00:22:42,929
CREAKING
454
00:22:48,342 --> 00:22:52,842
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
455
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:03,095
My lord.
456
00:23:04,819 --> 00:23:07,446
- And cut!
- That's scene complete.
457
00:23:12,668 --> 00:23:14,333
That should hold it.
458
00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:17,142
Jolly good.
Excellent work, everybody, thank you.
459
00:23:17,203 --> 00:23:19,806
Thank you so much for your hard work
today, everyone.
460
00:23:19,867 --> 00:23:22,534
It does not go unnoticed.
Lovely working with you, thank you.
461
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,609
- Thank God.
- I thought they were never going to finish.
462
00:23:25,670 --> 00:23:27,549
Moving on to the bedroom.
463
00:23:27,610 --> 00:23:30,832
Closed set, just essential crew,
please, cos there'll be nudity.
464
00:23:30,893 --> 00:23:32,924
Oh, I hope he has a hairy chest.
465
00:23:32,985 --> 00:23:34,837
Good Lord.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
466
00:23:34,898 --> 00:23:39,828
OK, it's a closed set.
There will be intercourse, apparently.
467
00:23:39,889 --> 00:23:44,264
OVER RADIO: Next up, it's the main event of the
day, this is the big one, the King Henry Stakes.
468
00:23:44,325 --> 00:23:47,403
As the riders line up, the atmosphere
here is absolutely electric.
469
00:23:47,464 --> 00:23:50,250
Here we go!
Fingers-fingers!
470
00:23:50,311 --> 00:23:52,116
There you are, Harry, straight through, yep.
471
00:23:52,176 --> 00:23:54,952
First door on the right, thank you.
Er, no. No, thank you.
472
00:23:55,013 --> 00:23:56,561
You heard Adam.
It's a closed set.
473
00:23:56,622 --> 00:23:59,115
Essential crew only.
Especially not you, Robin!
474
00:23:59,176 --> 00:24:00,367
I'll be good.
475
00:24:00,428 --> 00:24:02,153
There's no harm in it.
They can't see us, mate.
476
00:24:02,213 --> 00:24:04,440
Yeah, we're ghosts, you warty old crunk.
477
00:24:04,501 --> 00:24:09,027
That is beside the point. Rules are rules,
and young Adam deserves our every respect.
478
00:24:09,087 --> 00:24:11,633
OK, if everyone's happy.
Let's clear the room.
479
00:24:11,711 --> 00:24:12,760
ROBIN GRUNTS
480
00:24:12,820 --> 00:24:14,976
TOBY BLOWS THROUGH LIPS
Mah!
481
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:16,657
- Good Lord.
- Ah-ah-ah-ah!
482
00:24:16,718 --> 00:24:20,650
- Why he do rain dance?
- The Devil plays with his strings!
483
00:24:20,711 --> 00:24:24,213
Oh, no, no, no, no.
He's getting himself in the zone.
484
00:24:24,274 --> 00:24:25,474
Ah.
485
00:24:27,889 --> 00:24:29,704
SHE GIGGLES
486
00:24:32,088 --> 00:24:33,360
Fixed it!
487
00:24:33,819 --> 00:24:35,383
Oh, great!
488
00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:37,893
Before or after the 10K?
489
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:40,856
- Where's your free pass?
- You...
490
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:44,558
- You're not are you actually jealous?
- No.
491
00:24:45,953 --> 00:24:49,096
- But, I mean, he is handsome.
- Hm.
492
00:24:52,772 --> 00:24:54,950
And... action.
493
00:24:56,253 --> 00:24:59,087
GHOSTS CLAMOUR CAPTAIN
- No, thank you!
494
00:25:00,436 --> 00:25:02,678
I've thought of nothing but you all day.
495
00:25:04,980 --> 00:25:06,193
Yes!
496
00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:08,759
- What are you all doing here?
- We're not allowed in.
497
00:25:08,819 --> 00:25:11,320
- They're making love.
- What?!
498
00:25:11,381 --> 00:25:14,505
No, no, no, Fanny, no!
No, Fanny!
499
00:25:14,566 --> 00:25:17,492
OVER RADIO: Bradley's Misdemeanour
challenged by the outsider Mystery Queen.
500
00:25:17,552 --> 00:25:19,668
- Come on, Bradley!
- Come on, Mystery Queen!
501
00:25:19,819 --> 00:25:22,607
SHE GASPS Alison!
502
00:25:22,958 --> 00:25:25,758
First, I will kiss you...
HE SCREAMS
503
00:25:25,819 --> 00:25:29,026
OVER RADIO: Mystery Queen on the nearside...
- BOTH: Come on!
504
00:25:29,104 --> 00:25:31,702
Help! I can't pull myself up.
HE SHRIEKS
505
00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:33,104
BOTH: Come on!
506
00:25:33,165 --> 00:25:35,040
TOBY SHRIEKS
Stop kicking!
507
00:25:35,101 --> 00:25:36,523
BOTH: Come on!
508
00:25:36,584 --> 00:25:38,524
ELECTRICITY ZAPS
509
00:25:38,819 --> 00:25:41,089
RADIO TURNS OFF
Oh, come on!
510
00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:43,615
- Robin!
- What? It wasn't me!
511
00:25:43,683 --> 00:25:47,250
- Have you got me? Have you got me?
- It's OK. Let yourself down. Slowly.
512
00:25:47,311 --> 00:25:48,664
Have you got...?
513
00:25:48,725 --> 00:25:52,459
HE GASPS
Oh, God. Oh, God.
514
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,645
You're fine now, you're all right now.
515
00:25:56,755 --> 00:25:58,006
All right.
516
00:26:00,891 --> 00:26:02,568
Someone get a medic in here.
517
00:26:02,629 --> 00:26:04,387
- Toby, are you OK?
- No, I'm not.
518
00:26:04,448 --> 00:26:06,404
I could've died,
and then where would you be?
519
00:26:07,015 --> 00:26:08,344
Where did you get that from?
520
00:26:09,079 --> 00:26:10,435
HE SPITS
521
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,019
I think you know.
522
00:26:18,739 --> 00:26:20,216
CAPTAIN:
That's a terrible shame.
523
00:26:20,277 --> 00:26:23,217
- I thought you didn't want them here?
- Not for me, for you.
524
00:26:23,278 --> 00:26:24,647
The money and so on.
525
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:26,662
I shan't miss him... them!
526
00:26:26,723 --> 00:26:29,835
'Tis back to boredom, I suppose.
527
00:26:29,896 --> 00:26:33,129
Oh, never bored with chess board.
528
00:26:33,364 --> 00:26:36,809
Well, I think it quite the best to
be free from distractions.
529
00:26:36,870 --> 00:26:40,242
- You do know that free pass thing's a joke?
- Wasn't in my marriage.
530
00:26:40,303 --> 00:26:43,760
- Goodbye, 96,000 Pounds.
- Yeah...
531
00:26:44,008 --> 00:26:46,027
Well, at least we won 100 quid.
532
00:26:46,544 --> 00:26:49,118
Mystery Queen.
Got a tip from a ghost.
533
00:26:49,179 --> 00:26:52,453
- That's how we can make money!
- No, they're... they're ghosts, Mike.
534
00:26:52,514 --> 00:26:54,588
I think you're thinking of time-travellers.
535
00:26:55,729 --> 00:26:56,959
Oh.
536
00:26:57,217 --> 00:26:58,263
- Yeah, but...
- No.
537
00:26:58,324 --> 00:27:00,134
Well, Thomas will be glad they've gone.
538
00:27:00,195 --> 00:27:02,780
Yeah, perhaps someone should tell him.
539
00:27:06,177 --> 00:27:07,793
Come on, Pat.
Chop chop!
540
00:27:20,725 --> 00:27:22,025
HE SIGHS DEEPLY
541
00:27:23,906 --> 00:27:28,506
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
41098
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