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17!
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00:00:04,687 --> 00:00:06,210
18!
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19!
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Ow. Sarika, he's gonna break the record!
5
00:00:11,117 --> 00:00:13,272
Okie dokie, everybody.
6
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Sit down and start to shut up.
7
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,175
Uh... oh, hey.
8
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,800
Kudos for you guys
acting like normal teens.
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00:00:20,825 --> 00:00:23,710
Normally when I walk in here
it's like a freaking creep show.
10
00:00:25,788 --> 00:00:26,938
I just found out today that
11
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I have a mailbox here
at this school. Who knew?
12
00:00:29,158 --> 00:00:30,688
My family's mailbox
13
00:00:30,713 --> 00:00:33,483
is a tiny replica of our actual house.
14
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:36,263
I like to imagine a tiny
Victor lives in there
15
00:00:36,438 --> 00:00:39,927
and that my house is a mailbox
for an even bigger Victor.
16
00:00:40,169 --> 00:00:41,447
Good to know, Vic.
17
00:00:41,472 --> 00:00:43,107
All right, Sarika, I
need you to separate out
18
00:00:43,131 --> 00:00:44,889
all the mail order catalogues, okay?
19
00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:46,877
The junk mail's great
research for my book.
20
00:00:46,878 --> 00:00:49,477
I want to examine why
people find happiness
21
00:00:49,478 --> 00:00:51,647
through the consumption
of ridiculous products.
22
00:00:51,648 --> 00:00:54,567
So, uh, who here has parents
that have bought things
23
00:00:54,592 --> 00:00:56,192
off of an infomercial?
24
00:00:56,435 --> 00:00:58,763
My mom swears by the Ped-Scraper.
25
00:00:58,788 --> 00:01:01,778
It's like this potato peeler
for the dead skin on your feet.
26
00:01:01,803 --> 00:01:03,638
It reveals her glowing, sexy foot
27
00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:05,323
without the price of a spa.
28
00:01:05,348 --> 00:01:08,278
Hmm, guys, I can't be the
only one who cuts him off.
29
00:01:08,498 --> 00:01:10,167
All right, now who else has something?
30
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Hey, yo, Jackie. Jackie.
31
00:01:12,168 --> 00:01:13,493
Yeah, man. Over here, man.
32
00:01:13,518 --> 00:01:15,337
Check this out. You ready for this?
33
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- I am.
- So, yo, you ready?
34
00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:18,626
Yes.
35
00:01:18,651 --> 00:01:21,173
If I told you that you can
cook an egg inside your pocket
36
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,478
while you're in the
gym, would you buy it?
37
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,665
Is that real?
38
00:01:24,690 --> 00:01:26,820
These are the A.P. Bio practice exams!
39
00:01:26,845 --> 00:01:28,445
Yeah, well, Sarika,
you don't really need
40
00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:30,470
to practice for something
you're never going to do.
41
00:01:41,315 --> 00:01:43,128
All right, who else here
has a house filled with,
42
00:01:43,152 --> 00:01:44,592
like, infomercial crap?
43
00:01:44,617 --> 00:01:47,264
Marissa! You seem like you probably got
44
00:01:47,289 --> 00:01:48,929
a couple of hoarders in your household.
45
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:51,506
- Pappy loves treasure.
- I bet.
46
00:01:52,348 --> 00:01:54,983
You will hand over the
practice tests right now
47
00:01:55,467 --> 00:01:58,092
or I'm gonna show everyone these.
48
00:01:58,569 --> 00:01:59,678
What are those?
49
00:02:05,388 --> 00:02:07,591
This is pictures of me and Lynette.
50
00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:10,894
Wow, these are... these are great.
51
00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:12,075
Sarika, did you take these?
52
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,144
That's very creepy of you, but
these are really good shots.
53
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,108
- Can I keep these?
- Yes.
54
00:02:16,326 --> 00:02:19,026
And just so you know,
I'm a grown-up ass man
55
00:02:19,113 --> 00:02:21,083
and I don't get embarrassed
when I like somebody.
56
00:02:21,794 --> 00:02:24,082
Same here. I like Grace.
57
00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:28,345
No, I... I'm embarrassed.
58
00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:29,639
That was embarrassing.
59
00:02:30,978 --> 00:02:32,578
One, two, three, four!
60
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:43,658
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
61
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Mr. Jack Griffin.
62
00:02:48,833 --> 00:02:51,224
You, sir, are suspected of murder.
63
00:02:51,249 --> 00:02:53,029
Mur... is this about Tampa?
64
00:02:53,766 --> 00:02:55,767
I can't... I... I... I...
I'm tired of explaining this.
65
00:02:55,791 --> 00:02:57,650
Look, if you call it a dolphin ride,
66
00:02:57,675 --> 00:02:59,598
I'm gonna mount it. All
right, they didn't tell me
67
00:02:59,622 --> 00:03:01,207
that you're supposed to
just ride on its tail.
68
00:03:01,231 --> 00:03:02,671
How the hell was I supposed to know?
69
00:03:04,605 --> 00:03:07,152
I was just reminding you about
my murder mystery party tonight.
70
00:03:07,810 --> 00:03:09,050
Oh, God. Oh yeah, got it.
71
00:03:09,075 --> 00:03:10,235
Yeah. No, thanks. Thank you.
72
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:11,996
- Thank you. Ew.
- Yeah.
73
00:03:15,634 --> 00:03:17,611
Hey, man, congrats on the party invite.
74
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,508
I bet it never gets old.
75
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,903
Yeah, respect.
76
00:03:21,098 --> 00:03:22,144
Yes, respect.
77
00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:24,840
- Socializing is important.
- Okay, thanks, guys.
78
00:03:24,865 --> 00:03:26,613
I appreciate the respect.
Yuyao, thank you,
79
00:03:26,638 --> 00:03:28,568
but needless to say,
I won't be attending.
80
00:03:28,871 --> 00:03:30,465
Look, I'm gonna tell you guys
something that's not really
81
00:03:30,489 --> 00:03:32,523
going to register for
probably ten-plus years
82
00:03:32,548 --> 00:03:35,996
but alone on your couch is
the ultimate Friday night.
83
00:03:41,761 --> 00:03:43,461
We need those practice tests.
84
00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:46,479
If we don't get them, we'll be forced
to study with online knockoffs.
85
00:03:47,596 --> 00:03:49,838
We need to sneak in
tonight and take them.
86
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,378
- Oh...
- Sorry, Sarika.
87
00:03:51,403 --> 00:03:53,833
We already have a plan to
meet up for hot dogs at Target.
88
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,269
Grace is working.
89
00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:56,794
VIP treatment.
90
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,719
Trust us, it's fun. It's really fun.
91
00:03:59,744 --> 00:04:01,884
- Fun is not important.
- Wrong.
92
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,690
Do you wanna nail the A.P. Bio exam
93
00:04:03,715 --> 00:04:05,115
and go to college or not?
94
00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:07,740
Uh, college is going to be pretty sick.
95
00:04:07,937 --> 00:04:10,251
Eating ramen and snatching V-cards.
96
00:04:11,129 --> 00:04:12,223
We're in.
97
00:04:12,248 --> 00:04:13,587
Meet back here at dark.
98
00:04:14,348 --> 00:04:16,321
What... what time is dark?
99
00:04:16,843 --> 00:04:17,845
8:00.
100
00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:19,369
What time does "Room Raiders" come on?
101
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,587
- It's... it's early.
- It's, like, 7:30.
102
00:04:23,671 --> 00:04:25,463
Last year the murderer kept putting
103
00:04:25,488 --> 00:04:27,194
the kill stickers on our butts!
104
00:04:27,219 --> 00:04:30,737
Buttholes! Okay, I'm
telling you, she aimed.
105
00:04:30,762 --> 00:04:34,003
I would not miss this party for anything.
106
00:04:34,028 --> 00:04:35,512
Unless my mom wakes up.
107
00:04:36,053 --> 00:04:38,926
Oh, and I just love the theme this year.
108
00:04:38,951 --> 00:04:41,848
I know! Murder at Whitlock High
109
00:04:41,873 --> 00:04:44,549
Instead of playing, like,
butlers and aging starlets,
110
00:04:44,574 --> 00:04:45,973
we get to play each other!
111
00:04:45,998 --> 00:04:47,147
Ooh, are you going to Michelle's
112
00:04:47,171 --> 00:04:49,646
murder mystery party, Jackie Chan?
113
00:04:49,671 --> 00:04:51,348
Ah, I can't unfortunately.
114
00:04:51,373 --> 00:04:53,893
I've got firm plans to
sort through my junk mail.
115
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,594
Oh, Jack, you've got to go!
116
00:04:55,619 --> 00:04:57,642
I... I can pick you
up in any car you want.
117
00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,577
I have a trick that I use at Enterprise.
118
00:04:59,602 --> 00:05:01,594
You ask for a 15 passenger van.
119
00:05:01,882 --> 00:05:02,927
They never have one
120
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:06,486
and then you drive off in
whatever sweet ride you choose.
121
00:05:08,638 --> 00:05:11,177
I can't wait to play one
of you guys this year.
122
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,890
Oh, you guys talking murder party?
123
00:05:12,915 --> 00:05:14,553
Yup. Uh, you're still coming, right?
124
00:05:14,578 --> 00:05:16,601
Of course. I'm the reigning champ.
125
00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:19,233
Last year, I solved the
mystery in 47 minutes.
126
00:05:19,748 --> 00:05:22,427
Broke Durbin's record and
he is a brilliant detective.
127
00:05:23,483 --> 00:05:26,050
Hey, well, my ex-wife
always called me Sherlock.
128
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:28,322
Like when I would ask her,
"Hey, are you cheating on me?"
129
00:05:28,347 --> 00:05:30,333
And she would go, "What
do you think, Sherlock?"
130
00:05:30,358 --> 00:05:31,905
And I also solved the mystery
131
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,799
of my neighbor's missing penis.
132
00:05:33,824 --> 00:05:36,467
Turns out, it was inside my wife.
133
00:05:36,492 --> 00:05:37,622
Oh!
134
00:05:41,914 --> 00:05:44,444
Feels good to laugh.
135
00:05:45,507 --> 00:05:47,621
Yeah, so it took you 47 minutes
136
00:05:47,646 --> 00:05:49,582
to solve a silly parlor game?
137
00:05:49,607 --> 00:05:51,160
Oh, you think you can do it faster?
138
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,785
Oh, I know I can.
139
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,940
- Game on.
- Okay.
140
00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:57,164
Ooh-la-la.
141
00:05:57,189 --> 00:05:59,943
Looks like someone is
trying to impress someone.
142
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:02,168
Yeah, well, if that first someone is me
143
00:06:02,193 --> 00:06:04,124
and that second someone is Lynette
144
00:06:04,149 --> 00:06:06,318
then someone is correct.
145
00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:08,503
Ooh!
146
00:06:08,528 --> 00:06:10,467
I was gesturing to you.
You're that other someone.
147
00:06:10,468 --> 00:06:11,776
Damn it, Jack.
148
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,413
You used up the rest of our
break time for that nonsense?
149
00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:16,686
- Right.
- And that someone is you.
150
00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:18,641
- Boo!
- Come on someone.
151
00:06:25,115 --> 00:06:26,715
I can't believe they had one!
152
00:06:38,928 --> 00:06:41,567
Welcome to hell.
153
00:06:42,866 --> 00:06:44,841
If you find a sticker on you,
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00:06:44,866 --> 00:06:47,766
you've been murdered.
155
00:06:49,416 --> 00:06:52,441
- Hmm.
- Keith will be providing the ambiance.
156
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,502
- I really do love you so much.
- I love you.
157
00:06:55,526 --> 00:06:57,009
I'm... I'm also in love with you.
158
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:58,717
- I remain in love with you.
- You stay perfect.
159
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:01,038
Thanks for coming everyone
and welcome to hell.
160
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:07,293
You're all to remain in
character as each other.
161
00:07:07,509 --> 00:07:09,539
The game ends when someone
catches the murderer
162
00:07:09,564 --> 00:07:12,923
in the act or the murderer kills us all.
163
00:07:13,542 --> 00:07:16,312
Winner gets this trophy.
164
00:07:16,337 --> 00:07:17,567
- Ooh!
- Sweet.
165
00:07:17,592 --> 00:07:20,032
Yes, queen. Yes!
166
00:07:20,108 --> 00:07:23,277
Wow, you know what? I see you, Coach.
167
00:07:23,278 --> 00:07:24,490
I see you.
168
00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:25,901
We begin with...
169
00:07:25,926 --> 00:07:28,626
A murder!
170
00:07:31,429 --> 00:07:33,929
- It's you, Dave.
- No, it's not!
171
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,334
If you would lay down,
172
00:07:35,359 --> 00:07:37,795
you're our kickoff
murder victim this year!
173
00:07:37,820 --> 00:07:39,963
I was the first victim last year!
174
00:07:39,988 --> 00:07:41,859
I drove all the way
from Morenci for this.
175
00:07:41,884 --> 00:07:42,906
- We know, Dave.
- Down.
176
00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:44,218
I mean, I just loaded up.
177
00:07:44,243 --> 00:07:46,544
I... I, you know, I
haven't taken a bite yet.
178
00:07:46,569 --> 00:07:48,129
- Down.
- We know. We know.
179
00:07:48,154 --> 00:07:49,521
- Dave, come on.
- Really.
180
00:07:50,535 --> 00:07:52,205
- You all want that?
- Yes!
181
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:53,632
- Well, keep your eyes open.
- It just doesn't seem fair.
182
00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:54,986
I mean, two years in a row.
183
00:07:55,011 --> 00:07:56,542
Uh, but... what would
you do if it was...
184
00:07:56,566 --> 00:07:58,297
it's just not right!
185
00:07:58,322 --> 00:08:00,792
- Down, David.
- I don't wanna do it.
186
00:08:00,817 --> 00:08:05,077
I'm laying down because I
respect the rules of the game.
187
00:08:05,102 --> 00:08:07,562
I live in Morenci. Ugh!
188
00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:10,726
And I believe you all
have your assignments.
189
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:14,181
Let the games begin!
190
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,603
Clock's ticking.
191
00:08:18,325 --> 00:08:19,955
Um, oh, J'accuse!
192
00:08:20,128 --> 00:08:22,367
J'accuse. Yeah, Michelle?
193
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,737
Your music-y husband there
with the too-much-equipment.
194
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,025
Yup, I see him touching
Mary's elbow there.
195
00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:28,837
Why don't you check your elbow?
I bet you'll find a sticker.
196
00:08:28,838 --> 00:08:31,162
Oh, I... I just wanted
to feel the fabric.
197
00:08:31,187 --> 00:08:32,990
I'm kind of a textile head.
198
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,490
Wait, you're Helen?
199
00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:37,660
I'm Helen!
200
00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,055
Maybe that's a clue!
201
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:42,441
Or maybe it's a...
202
00:08:42,466 --> 00:08:46,006
Mistake!
203
00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:55,167
Okay.
204
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,437
Let's go. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
205
00:09:01,352 --> 00:09:03,882
Whoa, the faculty lounge.
206
00:09:04,048 --> 00:09:07,077
This is where the teachers
talk about what pills they use.
207
00:09:07,078 --> 00:09:08,474
- Wait.
- Come on, Sarika.
208
00:09:08,499 --> 00:09:10,617
No. No, you guys.
209
00:09:14,188 --> 00:09:16,844
The murderer has struck again!
210
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,161
Uh-oh!
211
00:09:19,186 --> 00:09:21,416
Oh, ooh.
212
00:09:21,441 --> 00:09:22,854
Oh, he snuck a drink
in there, didn't he?
213
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:27,621
Who amongst us shall be next?
214
00:09:27,646 --> 00:09:29,700
Oh, I... I hope it's not me.
215
00:09:29,725 --> 00:09:31,597
I live in Morenci.
216
00:09:32,966 --> 00:09:34,497
- He's... he's still doing Dave.
- That's good.
217
00:09:34,521 --> 00:09:36,091
That was really good. Get him, Durb!
218
00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:37,519
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
219
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,044
Who's... who's over there near Fred?
220
00:09:39,069 --> 00:09:40,303
Helen, you were over there.
221
00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:42,101
You're the murderer.
222
00:09:42,126 --> 00:09:43,526
I mean, you seem nervous.
223
00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:44,671
No, I'm not... I'm not... I'm not...
224
00:09:44,695 --> 00:09:47,622
Which, you know, makes sense
because you are 25 minutes in
225
00:09:47,647 --> 00:09:50,917
and it looks like that
record is slipping away.
226
00:09:50,942 --> 00:09:52,813
You only have two accusations left.
227
00:09:52,838 --> 00:09:54,181
Look, it doesn't matter
because I'm gonna...
228
00:09:54,205 --> 00:09:55,843
- I'm gonna...
- Tick tock, tick tock.
229
00:09:55,868 --> 00:09:57,213
Well, that's fine
because I'm just gonna...
230
00:09:57,237 --> 00:09:58,867
I'm gonna go ahead
and end this right now.
231
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:00,788
Michelle, I have an accusation to make.
232
00:10:00,813 --> 00:10:02,793
I accuse Helen of murder! J'accuse,
233
00:10:02,818 --> 00:10:03,930
- j'accuse!
- What?
234
00:10:03,955 --> 00:10:07,188
Okay, thanks. Remember,
you're playing coach.
235
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,687
He doesn't know French.
236
00:10:08,712 --> 00:10:09,773
I know enough.
237
00:10:14,718 --> 00:10:17,548
Tell me the truth, Mary. Did
you put the sticker on him?
238
00:10:17,558 --> 00:10:19,147
Hey, no Mary here.
239
00:10:19,545 --> 00:10:21,334
Fake Mary's over there, laying down,
240
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,387
wearing a pair of boner-killing khakis
241
00:10:23,388 --> 00:10:25,188
that no woman would ever wear.
242
00:10:25,198 --> 00:10:26,727
That is not true!
243
00:10:26,728 --> 00:10:28,597
I borrowed these from my wife!
244
00:10:28,598 --> 00:10:31,228
"I borrowed these from my wife!"
245
00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:33,867
Get him, Durb!
246
00:10:33,868 --> 00:10:36,538
What's your favorite
type of brown coffee?
247
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,777
- Folgers.
- Me too.
248
00:10:39,778 --> 00:10:42,747
There's a lot of
half-eaten salads in here.
249
00:10:42,748 --> 00:10:44,947
I'm just gonna take a Cobb.
250
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,264
My parents paid for it
with their tax dollars.
251
00:10:47,289 --> 00:10:48,747
Guys.
252
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,148
Stop goofing around.
253
00:10:51,190 --> 00:10:52,418
I got the key.
254
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,792
Let's get these tests.
255
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,927
Hi, Helen. I'm Jack, I'm an Ivy Leaguer
256
00:10:57,928 --> 00:11:01,138
and I'm not the murderer because
I'm too busy stomping around
257
00:11:01,163 --> 00:11:04,583
and grumping around and,
uh, shopping for sweaters.
258
00:11:04,608 --> 00:11:05,967
Yes!
259
00:11:05,968 --> 00:11:09,163
And howdy, I'm Helen
and I'm not the murderer
260
00:11:09,188 --> 00:11:12,113
because I'm too busy buying sweatshirts.
261
00:11:17,448 --> 00:11:18,521
Wow.
262
00:11:19,216 --> 00:11:20,271
You bitch.
263
00:11:25,158 --> 00:11:27,618
Did you just touch my back?
Did you put a sticker on me?
264
00:11:27,628 --> 00:11:29,457
- Dude.
- Hey, hey Jack.
265
00:11:29,458 --> 00:11:31,188
- What are you doing?
- Whoa!
266
00:11:31,198 --> 00:11:32,627
Have you solved it yet?
267
00:11:32,628 --> 00:11:34,027
'Cause your time is nearly up.
268
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,752
Yeah, you know what? I think I got it.
269
00:11:35,777 --> 00:11:37,619
I'm gonna make a... I'm gonna j'accuse.
270
00:11:37,644 --> 00:11:39,044
- Check this out.
- Yeah? All right.
271
00:11:39,868 --> 00:11:41,467
- A food drive?
- Yeah.
272
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,507
- Hey, ladies.
- Oh, Jack. Hi.
273
00:11:43,508 --> 00:11:44,653
- Hi.
- Hi!
274
00:11:44,678 --> 00:11:47,514
Yeah, save it, lady. I saw you
over by the snack table earlier.
275
00:11:47,539 --> 00:11:50,139
Yeah, where Ms.
Malinowski got stickered?
276
00:11:50,164 --> 00:11:51,592
Oh, no!
277
00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:54,293
Oh, I'm onto you, you
sneaky son of a bitch.
278
00:11:54,318 --> 00:11:55,848
Excuse me?
279
00:11:56,656 --> 00:11:59,056
Uh, yeah, I bet you if I reach
into this pocket right now,
280
00:11:59,081 --> 00:12:00,718
what am I gonna find?
I think I'm gonna...
281
00:12:00,728 --> 00:12:02,187
well, I think I'm just gonna find a...
282
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,063
Ow! Why do you have
forks in your pocket?
283
00:12:04,498 --> 00:12:06,127
Okay, Jack, Jack, take it easy.
284
00:12:06,128 --> 00:12:08,058
Oh, go easy. Let's
go... everybody go easy.
285
00:12:08,068 --> 00:12:10,309
No, no, no, I'm sorry, Ralph,
but I'm trying to play the game.
286
00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:11,932
Isn't that why we're
here? To play the game?
287
00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:13,472
All right, you... you know
what? You guys are just jealous
288
00:12:13,473 --> 00:12:14,491
'cause I'm gonna break the record.
289
00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:16,435
That's... that's what it is.
'Cause I'm... I'm a winner.
290
00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:18,259
Yeah, I'm the smartest guy here!
291
00:12:18,284 --> 00:12:20,330
And I'm going to be at home
eating that cookie cake
292
00:12:20,354 --> 00:12:21,914
while you guys are in your beds
293
00:12:21,939 --> 00:12:23,699
pulling stickers out of your buttholes!
294
00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:25,024
Hmm?
295
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:27,798
You know what? I... you
know what I'm gonna do?
296
00:12:27,822 --> 00:12:29,081
I'm gonna go to the kitchen.
297
00:12:31,894 --> 00:12:34,011
Mavis, we're gonna need
those forks back, okay?
298
00:12:34,036 --> 00:12:35,396
Hmm?
299
00:12:38,463 --> 00:12:40,533
I don't know if she heard me or not.
300
00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:45,955
Oh, God.
301
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,602
That was an awesome meltdown.
302
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,433
Well, you sure seem like you enjoyed it.
303
00:12:51,458 --> 00:12:54,431
"I'm the smartest one here"?
I mean, that was spectacular.
304
00:12:54,456 --> 00:12:55,856
Mm-hmm. By the way,
305
00:12:55,881 --> 00:12:57,572
why are you carrying that folder around?
306
00:12:58,169 --> 00:12:59,611
Durbin always has a folder.
307
00:13:00,094 --> 00:13:01,851
- No, he doesn't.
- Yes, he does.
308
00:13:02,889 --> 00:13:04,189
- J'accuse.
- What?
309
00:13:04,214 --> 00:13:05,544
J'accuse! Let me see this thing.
310
00:13:05,569 --> 00:13:06,809
What's in here?
311
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:09,446
Oh-ho-ho! You're the killer!
312
00:13:09,471 --> 00:13:11,268
Ho-ho! I win. I win, what time is it?
313
00:13:11,293 --> 00:13:12,330
Did I... did I break the record?
314
00:13:12,354 --> 00:13:13,517
- There's just one problem.
- What?
315
00:13:13,541 --> 00:13:15,441
You died ten seconds ago.
316
00:13:17,101 --> 00:13:18,941
What did you... oh, when you came in.
317
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,531
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- Yeah, oh, damn it.
318
00:13:20,556 --> 00:13:22,765
You know, if we form an alliance,
319
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:26,481
I think I can win and end
this game in record time.
320
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:27,776
What's in it for me?
321
00:13:27,801 --> 00:13:30,777
10,000 cookie cake calories.
322
00:13:30,802 --> 00:13:32,303
- Mmm, I love cookie cakes. I'm in.
- Yeah.
323
00:13:32,327 --> 00:13:34,967
Dial that coach thing
up to, like, an 11.
324
00:13:34,992 --> 00:13:36,492
I can handle that.
325
00:13:36,517 --> 00:13:39,347
That's good. Let's go kill our friends.
326
00:13:46,182 --> 00:13:48,552
Strong enough for a man,
strong enough for a woman.
327
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,207
Who gives a rip? It's all deodorant.
328
00:13:51,232 --> 00:13:52,992
So good.
329
00:13:53,017 --> 00:13:54,617
I liked it.
330
00:13:54,642 --> 00:13:56,502
I thought I was talking to coach.
331
00:13:56,527 --> 00:13:58,827
Now a mesh short,
that'll let 'em breathe,
332
00:13:58,852 --> 00:14:01,352
but spandex will save
you from the chafe.
333
00:14:01,377 --> 00:14:03,503
Bingo, but you still got a talc.
334
00:14:03,528 --> 00:14:04,917
Oh, ya got a talc.
335
00:14:04,942 --> 00:14:06,712
Yeah!
336
00:14:06,737 --> 00:14:09,354
Any dope with a dingus can be a father,
337
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:12,110
but it takes a real man to be a dad.
338
00:14:12,670 --> 00:14:14,345
Get on in here champ!
339
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:16,375
Huh? Give us a hug?
340
00:14:23,888 --> 00:14:25,121
Oh, heck.
341
00:14:26,142 --> 00:14:28,044
How does a Harvard man die?
342
00:14:28,851 --> 00:14:30,074
Uh...
343
00:14:30,373 --> 00:14:32,184
Oh, treachery!
344
00:14:32,528 --> 00:14:34,536
Oh, sweet dagger!
345
00:14:34,818 --> 00:14:36,708
Horatio, I'm dying.
346
00:14:36,756 --> 00:14:39,896
Oh, my kingdom for a horse!
347
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,051
Ooh, ooh.
348
00:14:43,761 --> 00:14:45,361
Ow, I'm Jack!
349
00:14:45,627 --> 00:14:47,387
That is... that's how you would die.
350
00:14:47,412 --> 00:14:49,213
Leg work, okay.
351
00:14:49,238 --> 00:14:51,150
Oh, no! Your butt got murdered again!
352
00:14:51,175 --> 00:14:53,214
Oh, no, wait. Let me
see yours. Let me see.
353
00:14:53,954 --> 00:14:55,784
Oh, it got you too!
354
00:14:55,816 --> 00:14:57,275
Oh, girl, let's go die at a wine table.
355
00:14:57,276 --> 00:14:58,776
- Come on.
- Man!
356
00:14:58,786 --> 00:15:01,615
- Oh, hell. I'm out.
- Me too.
357
00:15:32,686 --> 00:15:35,216
Whoa!
358
00:15:35,576 --> 00:15:36,891
Not too fast, not too fast!
359
00:15:39,756 --> 00:15:42,586
You guys, I did it! I got the
tests from Mr. Griffin's desk!
360
00:15:42,596 --> 00:15:45,137
We just found the janitors'
mops and we're gonna joust.
361
00:15:45,434 --> 00:15:47,001
We are not supposed to be having fun.
362
00:15:47,387 --> 00:15:48,926
There's no question on
the Harvard application
363
00:15:48,936 --> 00:15:50,637
about how much fun I had in high school.
364
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,290
Look.
365
00:15:55,126 --> 00:15:56,329
I know I'm a lot.
366
00:15:56,853 --> 00:15:58,205
I know nobody likes me.
367
00:15:58,206 --> 00:16:00,875
We like you Sarika. Right, guys?
368
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,845
- Yeah, you're fun.
- You're hardcore.
369
00:16:02,846 --> 00:16:04,167
You're my best friend.
370
00:16:04,946 --> 00:16:06,081
Oh.
371
00:16:07,546 --> 00:16:08,636
Thank you.
372
00:16:08,956 --> 00:16:11,785
So what do you say?
373
00:16:18,296 --> 00:16:19,725
I guess I could do one joust.
374
00:16:21,196 --> 00:16:22,995
Just so we can get out of here.
375
00:16:22,996 --> 00:16:24,965
- Aim for the soft meat!
- Shut up.
376
00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:28,366
Three, two, one.
377
00:16:29,976 --> 00:16:32,936
Oh, my God!
378
00:16:33,546 --> 00:16:34,745
That was amazing.
379
00:16:34,746 --> 00:16:36,545
- That was amazing.
- That was good.
380
00:16:36,546 --> 00:16:38,215
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
381
00:16:38,216 --> 00:16:39,987
Are you not gonna tell them
that you're the murderer?
382
00:16:40,011 --> 00:16:42,915
No, I think I want it
to be a mystery forever.
383
00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:44,585
Kind of like a Zodiac
Killer type of thing.
384
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,922
Ooh!
385
00:16:45,947 --> 00:16:47,248
Hey, so, I don't know if you noticed,
386
00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:49,039
but I grabbed your
trophy on the way out.
387
00:16:49,064 --> 00:16:50,748
That's a delicious looking cookie cake.
388
00:16:50,773 --> 00:16:53,095
Are you just gonna eat
it by yourself or...?
389
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,226
I mean, technically,
half this thing's mine,
390
00:16:55,236 --> 00:16:58,367
so if you wanted to go
somewhere and split it.
391
00:16:59,046 --> 00:17:01,136
You know what I've always wanted to do?
392
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:03,919
To kick a field goal.
393
00:17:04,876 --> 00:17:07,646
- Right now?
- What, you busy?
394
00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:09,915
No.
395
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:15,068
And..
396
00:17:15,756 --> 00:17:17,158
here's the kick!
397
00:17:20,049 --> 00:17:22,630
Going, going, it's gone!
398
00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:24,785
It's good!
399
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:25,970
Oh!
400
00:17:25,995 --> 00:17:28,235
You know, it's true what they say.
401
00:17:28,846 --> 00:17:30,752
I am great at football.
402
00:17:31,393 --> 00:17:32,406
Yes, you are.
403
00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:33,440
Okay, who wants to go next?
404
00:17:33,464 --> 00:17:34,864
Heather, You want some of this?
405
00:17:34,889 --> 00:17:36,849
Bitch, I was born to joust you.
406
00:17:36,874 --> 00:17:38,914
Oh!
407
00:17:38,939 --> 00:17:40,269
Hey, can you guys let me know
408
00:17:40,294 --> 00:17:42,464
if you find, like, a little screw?
409
00:17:42,489 --> 00:17:44,789
- Let's do it!
- Three, two, one, roll!
410
00:17:46,029 --> 00:17:47,259
Anthony, watch out!
411
00:17:50,215 --> 00:17:52,010
Hey, what are you kids doing in here?
412
00:17:53,117 --> 00:17:54,547
Run!
413
00:17:55,897 --> 00:17:58,324
- Really? Come back!
- Go, go! Aah!
414
00:17:58,349 --> 00:18:00,779
Stop! Stop right there!
415
00:18:01,783 --> 00:18:02,943
Stop!
416
00:18:02,968 --> 00:18:04,788
Go, go, go!
417
00:18:06,679 --> 00:18:08,780
- Sarika, the tests!
- Oh, no.
418
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,076
You know what? Leave them.
419
00:18:12,101 --> 00:18:13,244
Go, go, go! Oh, my God!
420
00:18:13,269 --> 00:18:14,809
This is so much fun!
421
00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:17,560
Seriously, can I tell you something that
422
00:18:18,654 --> 00:18:19,737
might be hard to hear?
423
00:18:19,762 --> 00:18:21,264
Oh, absolutely. I
can't wait to hear this.
424
00:18:22,973 --> 00:18:24,519
You impression of Coach sucked.
425
00:18:24,544 --> 00:18:26,538
- Oh, no,
- It was bad.
426
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:27,952
No, my Coach was excellent.
427
00:18:28,288 --> 00:18:29,761
- I, on the other hand...
- Mm-hmm.
428
00:18:30,791 --> 00:18:32,191
I did a perfect Durbin.
429
00:18:32,216 --> 00:18:35,401
- Yeah, it was pretty good.
- In fact, I'm still doing Durbin.
430
00:18:36,211 --> 00:18:38,037
Everything I've said tonight. Durbin.
431
00:18:38,062 --> 00:18:39,127
- Really.
- Mm-hmm.
432
00:18:39,128 --> 00:18:41,039
Ev... everything you're
saying and doing right now,
433
00:18:41,063 --> 00:18:42,654
that's not you, that's you doing Durbin?
434
00:18:42,678 --> 00:18:43,808
Every single thing.
435
00:18:48,308 --> 00:18:49,738
How about now?
436
00:18:52,438 --> 00:18:54,579
- Yeah.
- Really, still Durbin?
437
00:18:54,604 --> 00:18:55,861
Still Durbin.
438
00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:58,368
- Still Durbin?
- Still Durbin.
439
00:18:59,025 --> 00:19:00,248
- How about right now?
- Yep.
440
00:19:07,988 --> 00:19:10,188
You need to sign your permission slips!
441
00:19:10,388 --> 00:19:12,157
Oh, Ralph.
442
00:19:17,735 --> 00:19:19,765
Whoa, guys, guys!
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
443
00:19:19,998 --> 00:19:21,467
Is that Mr. Griffin?
444
00:19:21,468 --> 00:19:23,667
Yeah. That's that payroll lady he lies.
445
00:19:23,668 --> 00:19:25,737
- Aww.
- Get some!
446
00:19:27,178 --> 00:19:29,693
Let's go! Let's go, let's go,
let's go! Let's go!
447
00:19:35,588 --> 00:19:37,451
Everyone's having fun but me.
448
00:19:43,195 --> 00:19:44,625
So what do you think? You'll...
449
00:19:45,163 --> 00:19:46,882
sign with the Chargers, Patriots?
450
00:19:46,907 --> 00:19:47,907
- Ooh.
- Me?
451
00:19:47,923 --> 00:19:49,483
I'm probably heading to Green Bay.
452
00:19:49,743 --> 00:19:51,344
Yeah, you know what? I...
I think I'd think I'd sign with
453
00:19:51,368 --> 00:19:52,914
any of them to get out of Toledo.
454
00:19:54,056 --> 00:19:55,386
You don't like living in Toledo?
455
00:19:55,412 --> 00:19:56,972
God, no. No.
456
00:19:56,997 --> 00:19:58,249
Can't wait to get out of here.
457
00:19:58,978 --> 00:20:01,638
I'm thinking probably
Tokyo, maybe Berlin.
458
00:20:01,648 --> 00:20:03,678
You know, London if a lot goes wrong.
459
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,934
Okay, well, I'm here to stay.
460
00:20:08,466 --> 00:20:10,744
Oh. Come on, really?
461
00:20:11,351 --> 00:20:12,361
Yeah.
462
00:20:13,018 --> 00:20:14,488
I love Toledo.
463
00:20:15,796 --> 00:20:16,849
Okay.
464
00:20:17,488 --> 00:20:18,959
Well, I...
465
00:20:19,948 --> 00:20:21,115
don't like it.
466
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:24,022
Yeah.
467
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:38,747
- Bye!
- Drive safe!
468
00:20:38,748 --> 00:20:42,174
- Great party, guys.
- Okay, that's the last one.
469
00:20:47,118 --> 00:20:49,927
Yeah, I have been waiting
for this all night.
470
00:20:49,952 --> 00:20:51,271
Then get off those jeans.
471
00:20:51,296 --> 00:20:53,709
My sweater is tucked all
the way into my underwear.
472
00:20:53,734 --> 00:20:54,756
You got something for me?
473
00:20:54,781 --> 00:20:56,058
- You wanna see that?
- Oh, yeah, I do.
474
00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:57,248
- How about this one?
- The other one too.
475
00:20:57,272 --> 00:20:58,718
- Who's the Devil?
- You're the Devil.
476
00:20:58,742 --> 00:21:00,494
You're the Devil
tonight. I'm more the...
477
00:21:00,519 --> 00:21:02,349
Um, guys, I'm still here.
478
00:21:02,374 --> 00:21:04,243
- Oh, my God!
- Dave, get out!
479
00:21:04,268 --> 00:21:05,402
- Right.
- Get out of here!
480
00:21:05,427 --> 00:21:06,845
- Get out! Go!
- Yeah, I'm leaving.
481
00:21:06,870 --> 00:21:08,107
He saw my shoulder, Keith.
482
00:21:08,108 --> 00:21:09,707
He saw... you saw my baby's shoulder.
483
00:21:09,708 --> 00:21:12,047
- Go! Idiot!
- I'm leaving!
484
00:21:12,048 --> 00:21:14,617
Oh, God. I don't feel like it now.
485
00:21:14,618 --> 00:21:16,888
- Dave!
- I'm gonna...
34669
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