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[Music]
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[Music]
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when I made love to him I dwell in the
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mystery of our
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Oneness it was a feeling so
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spiritual it was as though I should
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remove my shoes in the presence of the
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Holy with my
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lips I'd trace my name upon his
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skin and I'd find God there with my
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heart pressed against his chest his
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breath breathing life into my soul I
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could live
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again I'd see my lover
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there and no longer was it that I want
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him need him or loved him but
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that I was
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him this was Chris my mission Companion
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5 years ago we were separated at after
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it was discovered that we were slightly
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more than just Mission
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companions I was immediately sent home
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and Chris was allowed to stay in
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Clackamus Falls but we kept in touch and
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after his mission we went on a trip
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across
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America we had the time of our lives for
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a few months we weren't Elder Smith and
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Elder Merill we had no obligations and
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no pressure from our families or the
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church we were just Chris and RJ on our
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own and loving every minute of
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it after some time we faced the reality
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that we would eventually have to go home
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I drove into Salt Lake Chris's Hometown
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we agreed to take care of our respective
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loose ends and he talked about
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transferring to Boise State with me we
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kissed and said
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goodbye and I went home to Idaho Falls I
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never saw him
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again I sent letters I'd call
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and
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nothing if only I knew what happened to
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him then maybe I'd have some
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closure these days I live in
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Seattle I'm neither Mormon nor
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Gentile I was never forly
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excommunicated I just stopped
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associating myself with the church at
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all but I still wear my temple garments
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I still have a food store storage and I
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still have a deep love for our heavenly
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father so from what you've been telling
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me you've been working hard to stay
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focused and maintain your standing in
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the church yes
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sir 6 months ago I was intimate with my
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mission companion even though I knew it
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was wrong
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do you still think that you're in a
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phase of samex
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Attraction I am much stronger
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now would you like to continue your
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service to your church yes I would more
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than
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anything as I said before our our
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heavenly father doesn't present to us
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any Temptation that we do not have the
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power to
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overcome it's a choice that we make to
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act in virtue or to give into
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temptation considering your humility and
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desire to do the right
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thing I see no need for disciplinary
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action thank
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you thank
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[Music]
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you the
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fence through the side
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[Music]
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was a Cofe guy laid down on the
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[Music]
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[Music]
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dir it is an honor to witness two young
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people so deeply in love and so
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dedicated to the church and our heavenly
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father marriage is for
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[Music]
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eternity it is a Love That Will Last in
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this
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life and the
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next your
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dedication to the church and to this
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family has brought you here
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you've been given a second
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chance
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and I
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know that you have the
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courage and the strength to stay on the
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right track this
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time I love you
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son I love you too now what do you see
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we get back in there and join what's
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left of the party
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I'm so sorry Dad I'm so sorry for
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everything oh
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Chris you've done the right
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thing all right yeah I am I'm so proud
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of
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you you're okay yes sir I'm fine yeah
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I'm going to go join the party I'm going
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take a
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minute you come in when you're ready yes
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[Music]
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sir
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[Music]
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shin it's just a
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[Music]
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mountain I'm in your church
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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okay I'm I'm going to be late you're
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going to make me
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late you know I have somewhere else to
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be
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too I know
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I have a meeting in like 30 minutes
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M
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and I gotta
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go you know I wrestled in high school
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and in
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college okay okay
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now you shouldn't eat that crab why
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not loaded with sugar I like sugar
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[Music]
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want
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some
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no you know I'm nervous about
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tonight don't bring it are you sure
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they're ready for
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this
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no I think it's time they met us
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mhm I got to go
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bye imagine it's kind of a classy beer
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fist okay it's not your
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typical and there he
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is
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Tom I
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there's two
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more sorry okay so now that we're all
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here I want to talk about the beer fest
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article hey
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Rodney oh hi how are
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you I'm sorry to hear that is everything
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all right
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here sweetie pie you want a grey GRE me
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no um you want some chicken it's really
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good it's like amazingly good you're
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going to love
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it was calling
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me I don't know I'm sorry it's
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okay do you want one of mom scens no
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no
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hello speaking
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Mama yes ma'am how are
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you oh
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no did I ever tell you much about
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Rodney a
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little I met him on my mission with my
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mission campain in
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Chris he was a a veteran of
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Iraq he had PTSD so he was a shut
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in we tried so hard to convert him
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but we'd always just end up hanging out
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at his house smoking
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pot he was always so accepting of ch
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yeah he did talk about
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him you going to the service yeah I
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think so it's good
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sorry I'm late long waiting oh just
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about 20
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minutes
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sorry uh Mom Dad this is
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Paul such a pleasure to finally meet you
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it's nice to meet you
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Paul so nice to meet you nice to meet
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you
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too so how is the flight
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bumpy recip party yes we did can I get
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you some
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drinks uh I'll just have water uh I'll
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have a Diet Coke okay I'll be right back
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thanks Diet
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Coke
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yeah so uh Mr and Mrs Smith how long are
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you in town just through Sunday evening
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we're just here for the weekend we don't
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want to be in the way Dad you're not in
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the way
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well I don't know we never hear from you
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Tom no I'm not trying to start anything
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I'm just saying I wish I heard from my
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son more I miss him Maryann calls at
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least once a week okay well I'll check
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in more that would be
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nice so Paul what do you do I'm a
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personal trainer oh well that's nice
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Paul's working on his NBA right now
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really I keep telling R.J he should go
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for his Masters I know I say the same
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thing all right all right maybe at some
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point but um not right now well R how is
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work going it's good yeah um I'm not
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freelancing anymore so I have a I'm in
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the office a lot but other than that
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nothing too
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exciting how's the shop
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Dad it's good actually going well can't
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complain you know uh Mr Smith my
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father's actually a
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mechanic really yeah he works primarily
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on Swedish
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automobiles well they're really
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well-made cars yeah
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[Music]
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[Music]
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thank
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you Gloria yes I'm RJ oh it's so nice to
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finally meet you I'm so glad you could
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come I wouldn't have miss it for
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anything well you know he didn't know
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many people here and I didn't get to see
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him very often so well it's especially
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nice to get to meet two of his good
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friends it's nice to meet you too thank
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you
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Rodney was a complex
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man and through the hardships that life
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threw at him he had this amazing ability
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to make us laugh
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some of you may not know this about
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Rodney but he was a religious man though
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he may not have considered himself to be
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so though he eluded the doctrines of
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Faith he embodied their
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Essence and as a lifelong Seeker he had
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an amazing ability to help people find
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their
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way there is a heaven
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and Rodney is
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there
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amen I'm so sorry for your
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loss thank you
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thank you
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MH
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RJ I almost forgot to give you this he
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was going to mail it to you thank
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you you keep in touch now I will I'm
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really sorry for your loss I'm really
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going to miss him oh I am
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too you take care now here I will don't
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open I'm not
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here
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Chris
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Chris
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yeah how are
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you yeah
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um look could we go somewhere and
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talk what do you want to talk about I
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thought maybe we could catch
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up for
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hey
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hey what a
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day
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yeah did you get to speak to him to
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Rodney yeah um or no not really he and I
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spoke a few times after I finished my
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mission
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but after that we just lost touch
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so how did you talk to him it had been a
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few months but uh yeah I was actually
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able to see him good a few times
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good I just can't believe he's
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gone wish I had a chance to say goodbye
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he had nothing but fond memories of
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you that's good to hear
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this is surreal isn't
289
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,840
it
290
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,520
yes sitting here with you is very
291
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,320
surreal how long has it been five years
292
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:17,520
five
293
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,720
years you do that I did I did but I
294
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,400
didn't I don't know if it was like a few
295
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,000
months more or less
296
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,000
i' yeah
297
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,000
so what's your life like
298
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,360
now I'm happily married um I live in
299
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,760
Salt Lake and I have a little girl she's
300
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,679
almost 3 years old I can't believe that
301
00:21:42,679 --> 00:21:45,640
um and I work in pharmaceutical sales
302
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,840
so life's pretty
303
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,840
good you're married yeah no she's
304
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,320
amazing she's like an
305
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,279
angel I don't have a picture to show you
306
00:21:57,279 --> 00:21:58,840
but
307
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,640
she's
308
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:06,400
incredible no I'm happy for you thank
309
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:10,600
you what about
310
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,240
you uh I'm the arts and culture editor
311
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:17,520
at Seattle magazine oh wow yeah and I've
312
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,480
um I've written uh a couple of short
313
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,799
non-fiction books really yeah wow can
314
00:22:23,799 --> 00:22:25,600
can I find them anywhere yeah they're in
315
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,520
some bookstores um I haven't really
316
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,760
required a thoral means of distribution
317
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,760
but yeah they're there so all right um
318
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,200
I'll look for
319
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,159
cool are you seeing anybody
320
00:22:47,159 --> 00:22:49,559
or I've been seeing somebody for a while
321
00:22:49,559 --> 00:22:52,320
yeah good it's good going really well
322
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,520
what's her
323
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,520
name Paul
324
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,799
it's really good to see you
325
00:23:07,799 --> 00:23:11,480
Chris it's good to see you
326
00:23:12,159 --> 00:23:15,360
too I'm sorry it's under these
327
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,480
circumstances yeah me too
328
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,520
but our heavenly father has a
329
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,720
plan listen I had to make this brief but
330
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,240
I have a really early flight tomorrow
331
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,720
morning and it's been a really long
332
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,679
day it looks like they're closing up
333
00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:38,520
here anyhow so I'm going to get to bed
334
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,640
this was this was nice yeah this was
335
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:44,840
good so can I walk you up you want to
336
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,880
walk me in my room
337
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:51,960
yes yeah yeah of course okay
338
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,440
yeah that'll be
339
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,440
fine
340
00:24:04,919 --> 00:24:08,480
thanks oh this is
341
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,840
me
342
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,000
Chris are you sure there's nothing else
343
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,600
you want to talk
344
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,760
about what exactly would you like to
345
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,960
talk about
346
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:36,479
you can't just pretend that nothing
347
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,799
happened AR
348
00:24:42,039 --> 00:24:44,039
you it's good to see you and I'm glad
349
00:24:44,039 --> 00:24:46,159
you're doing well but I came here to pay
350
00:24:46,159 --> 00:24:48,679
my respects to Rodney so did
351
00:24:48,679 --> 00:24:52,799
I then I need you to respect
352
00:24:54,679 --> 00:24:58,679
that okay
353
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,080
good night
354
00:25:36,279 --> 00:25:39,279
that
355
00:26:06,279 --> 00:26:09,279
that
356
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,639
I
357
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,480
canand all
358
00:27:16,799 --> 00:27:18,760
tragedy and
359
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:20,000
sin
360
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,760
[Music]
361
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,360
inflicted upon
362
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,679
me and
363
00:27:26,679 --> 00:27:30,159
sickness with
364
00:27:32,910 --> 00:27:35,979
[Music]
365
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,240
hey
366
00:27:49,159 --> 00:27:54,559
thanks hope you don't mind them here no
367
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:10,960
how are you I'm good how are you I'm
368
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,200
good you look
369
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:18,720
tired I am yeah a little bit I
370
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:27,200
am I hope you're hungry you cook for me
371
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,559
oh maybe okay
372
00:28:39,399 --> 00:28:43,120
thanks wow it looks amazing I wanted you
373
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:44,760
to have something ready so when you got
374
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,880
here you it looks great that's yeah
375
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,880
thanks
376
00:29:12,039 --> 00:29:13,720
you look so good in your
377
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,919
suit thank
378
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:19,919
you hey guess
379
00:29:19,919 --> 00:29:22,559
what what I'm finally going to get my
380
00:29:22,559 --> 00:29:26,519
red jacket really yeah congratulations
381
00:29:26,519 --> 00:29:30,039
baby thank you
382
00:29:32,679 --> 00:29:34,360
I'm so proud of
383
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:38,879
you thank you m
384
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:00,039
I'm so
385
00:30:00,039 --> 00:30:03,279
sorry what's
386
00:30:05,279 --> 00:30:07,360
wrong it's been a rough couple of days
387
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:08,120
you
388
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,880
know
389
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,120
yeah it's
390
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,240
okay it's
391
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,399
okay I'm so sorry it's
392
00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:19,440
okay it's
393
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,880
okay it's
394
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:27,039
okay I think I'm just tired too yeah I
395
00:30:27,039 --> 00:30:29,960
know
396
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:40,120
I love you
397
00:31:03,590 --> 00:31:06,689
[Music]
398
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,519
hey how are you good are you good good
399
00:31:56,519 --> 00:31:58,840
how's it working it's good how's your uh
400
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,519
how's your day oh fantastic I uh yeah
401
00:32:01,519 --> 00:32:04,039
got so much worth good good do you want
402
00:32:04,039 --> 00:32:06,240
to order
403
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,200
something I'll get something in just a
404
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,679
minute okay this is such a nice
405
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,799
surprise hey what's
406
00:32:26,159 --> 00:32:29,519
up you know I've always been honest with
407
00:32:29,519 --> 00:32:32,519
you
408
00:32:37,559 --> 00:32:39,519
yeah I don't think we should see each
409
00:32:39,519 --> 00:32:42,039
other for a
410
00:32:56,039 --> 00:32:59,840
while why
411
00:33:00,159 --> 00:33:01,360
cuz I don't think I can give you what
412
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,799
you what you need right
413
00:33:22,679 --> 00:33:25,919
now I mean we we just we just met your
414
00:33:25,919 --> 00:33:29,760
family we just met your parents
415
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:37,000
I I I know I I know it's taking me a
416
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,080
long time to get here but I am here with
417
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,639
everything that
418
00:33:45,559 --> 00:33:50,240
I everything I have
419
00:34:04,399 --> 00:34:06,639
it's always been you
420
00:34:06,639 --> 00:34:10,040
who's who's been holding us back you
421
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,918
know that I know
422
00:34:15,599 --> 00:34:19,399
that I know what this is
423
00:34:23,359 --> 00:34:27,520
about I know
424
00:34:32,159 --> 00:34:33,199
you
425
00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:35,079
go you go
426
00:34:35,079 --> 00:34:39,919
to whatever it is that you have to
427
00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:45,359
do but I want you to know that that I I
428
00:34:45,359 --> 00:34:47,119
may not still be here just waiting for
429
00:34:47,119 --> 00:34:50,839
you when you get back
430
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:02,079
please St me
431
00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:43,560
[Music]
432
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,320
that she handles all the
433
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,480
marketing can you hold on a second hey I
434
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:49,720
was wondering um do you think you're
435
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,359
going to need me around here next
436
00:35:51,359 --> 00:35:53,280
week uh you haven't really been here
437
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,319
much Rick right but I was thinking about
438
00:35:55,319 --> 00:35:57,480
taking a writing vacation I'm working on
439
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,079
this story for the next issue and I
440
00:35:59,079 --> 00:36:00,480
think you're really going to love it
441
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:04,160
okay that'll work yeah yeah great thanks
442
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:08,520
are you leaving now yeah okay fine where
443
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:09,560
are you going to
444
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,560
go uh
445
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:16,720
here my Solem
446
00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:23,359
vow to keep his light in front of
447
00:36:23,359 --> 00:36:28,640
me in spite of what the dark
448
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:32,760
LS of what H comes
449
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,839
unto
450
00:36:34,839 --> 00:36:40,400
me the Seas May rage for Endless
451
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:46,839
years the winds may test and age me
452
00:36:46,839 --> 00:36:51,640
still I will keep his light in my heart
453
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,119
on our feet and the love in our hearts
454
00:36:54,119 --> 00:36:55,720
we say these things in the name of Jesus
455
00:36:55,720 --> 00:36:59,520
Christ amen amen
456
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,800
dig
457
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:05,839
in you like your sucker are you
458
00:37:05,839 --> 00:37:08,400
dipping diping in the water you like
459
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,240
that this is really good yeah yeah you
460
00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:14,439
should cook every night oh
461
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,079
thanks making Tes silly
462
00:37:18,079 --> 00:37:20,720
girl silly like your
463
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:25,520
daddy mhm mhm
464
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:36,800
you expecting anybody no you
465
00:37:40,359 --> 00:37:43,960
yeah what was that
466
00:37:46,599 --> 00:37:49,599
noise
467
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:56,839
hi is this a bad time yes
468
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,760
what are you doing here why would you
469
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,119
come to my house how did you even know
470
00:38:02,119 --> 00:38:03,400
where I
471
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,839
lived explain
472
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:14,839
yourself I got your address from Gloria
473
00:38:14,839 --> 00:38:18,160
Gloria do you realize how
474
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:23,399
crazy hey hey
475
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,000
hi hi are you going to introduce me to
476
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:30,960
your
477
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,680
friend yes honey this is my friend R.J
478
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,680
RJ this is my wife Emily hi it's nice to
479
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,598
meet you it's nice to meet you
480
00:38:41,079 --> 00:38:44,599
too well thanks for stopping by it's
481
00:38:44,599 --> 00:38:46,760
good to see you
482
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,160
oh actually we're having dinner you're
483
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,160
welcome to join us if you'd
484
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,200
like sure yeah
485
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,240
sure yeah of course
486
00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:03,279
thank you okay come on in great
487
00:39:08,950 --> 00:39:10,440
[Applause]
488
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,440
thanks
489
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:17,040
yeah so um RJ how do you and Chris know
490
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:18,480
each
491
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,880
other oh that's a that's a good question
492
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:26,160
Chris would you like to maybe
493
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,960
yeah um RJ and I met when I was on my
494
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,960
mission in Clackamus Falls really MH oh
495
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,359
wow that's wonderful RJ was my mission
496
00:39:37,359 --> 00:39:38,680
companion
497
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,560
MH
498
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,000
wow and do you live here in Salt Lake
499
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,480
City no actually I I I live in Seattle
500
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,440
Seattle so what brings you here I'm here
501
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,319
for work what kind of work uh I'm a
502
00:39:52,319 --> 00:39:56,000
writer a writer wow like for a magazine
503
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,640
or Yes actually mhm a magazine which
504
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,200
magazine uh Seattle
505
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,599
magazine and they're doing a piece on
506
00:40:03,599 --> 00:40:07,359
Salt Lake City no uh no actually uh the
507
00:40:07,359 --> 00:40:09,480
story I'm working on has a little bit to
508
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,920
do with Salt Lake so I thought I'd come
509
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,640
down here for some
510
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,800
inspiration great mhm how long are you
511
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:18,880
in
512
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,440
town I don't know I guess until the
513
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:24,880
story's
514
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,160
finished well where are you staying
515
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,920
well
516
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,960
um it's
517
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:38,400
okay that's some
518
00:40:39,079 --> 00:40:44,640
bread oh sweetie pie
519
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:49,079
a I think it's bedtime so I'm sorry if
520
00:40:49,079 --> 00:40:53,160
it was me I'm so sorry if it was me hey
521
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:57,359
it's okay get out
522
00:40:57,359 --> 00:40:58,200
let's
523
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:03,078
go let's go hold
524
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:13,639
[Music]
525
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,800
on hi
526
00:41:24,079 --> 00:41:28,839
hi why are you here why
527
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:32,599
you came to my
528
00:41:32,599 --> 00:41:35,240
house I just wanted to talk to
529
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:37,160
you
530
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:40,440
okay let's
531
00:41:41,359 --> 00:41:46,359
talk maybe not now yeah maybe not right
532
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,839
now oh I'm so sorry okay she gets really
533
00:41:50,839 --> 00:41:54,319
tired it's okay it's a little late so um
534
00:41:54,319 --> 00:41:56,680
any uh what I was uh yeah so I don't
535
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,400
have any place say yet I think I might
536
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:01,680
just go to a hotel nearby maybe oh well
537
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,119
you don't need to do that we have we
538
00:42:03,119 --> 00:42:05,040
have so much space you could stay with
539
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,040
us if you'd
540
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,640
like if you want
541
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:13,040
sure yeah uh is that okay with you Chris
542
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,280
yeah of course you're more than welcome
543
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,800
to stay for tonight if you'd like great
544
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,480
you guys probably have a lot of catching
545
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:26,079
up to do yeah we do we do just up here
546
00:42:26,079 --> 00:42:28,400
at the end of the stairs
547
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,200
her bag looks heavy I should help you
548
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,760
with that it's okay I got it all
549
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,920
right here you
550
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:38,160
go great thank you yeah of
551
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:42,040
course well you're probably super tired
552
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,599
so you know if you need anything just
553
00:42:44,599 --> 00:42:46,359
let me know okay I will thank you so
554
00:42:46,359 --> 00:42:48,680
much yeah it's so nice to meet you it's
555
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,520
nice to meet you too yeah okay have a
556
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,319
good night yeah you too okay bye okay
557
00:42:54,319 --> 00:42:57,319
bye
558
00:43:51,079 --> 00:43:53,599
what are you doing
559
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,160
here Ricky what are you doing here I
560
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,400
just want to talk
561
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,480
I don't want to talk about the mission
562
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:02,800
okay then let's talk about something
563
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:07,400
else I like your jacket
564
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:10,119
thanks AR
565
00:44:10,119 --> 00:44:14,640
J I am married and I'm living honorably
566
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:18,000
okay I didn't mean to interfere with you
567
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,839
it's too late for
568
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,240
that know this is a little crazy you
569
00:44:24,240 --> 00:44:27,160
showing up out of nowhere like this yeah
570
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,119
it is but going to clamus
571
00:44:29,119 --> 00:44:32,920
Falls and Rodney dying and seeing you
572
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:36,800
again it just it sparked something in
573
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:40,400
me and all of a sudden I'm 20 years old
574
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,720
and you've walked into my
575
00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:45,880
life and years of confusion and shame
576
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:47,240
just
577
00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:50,880
disappear and I because I found
578
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,480
somebody that knows me that understands
579
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:56,079
me I can't find that anywhere else it
580
00:44:56,079 --> 00:44:58,440
comes close but it's
581
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,440
it's not the
582
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,280
same and suddenly I'm
583
00:45:05,559 --> 00:45:08,520
here why did you cut me out of your life
584
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:10,520
Chris I had no
585
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,440
choice all I want is to be a part of
586
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,720
your life it's not possible I'm sorry to
587
00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:16,520
hear
588
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:20,359
that I have a meeting to go
589
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:24,160
to do you still go to church R.J no
590
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:28,680
regretfully I don't well you should
591
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,280
what are you doing Chris what do you
592
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,240
mean we spent a year of our lives
593
00:45:32,240 --> 00:45:36,119
together we made love we fell in love
594
00:45:36,119 --> 00:45:38,920
you're not straight I feel sorry for you
595
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:42,599
why because you are living a life of sin
596
00:45:42,599 --> 00:45:44,720
and you are obsessing over something
597
00:45:44,720 --> 00:45:46,280
that never should have
598
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,800
happened it was a
599
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,440
phase the Lord has declared that no
600
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:54,280
unclean thing shall inherit the Kingdom
601
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:58,119
of Heaven our sin makes us
602
00:45:58,119 --> 00:46:00,800
unclean unworthy to be in the presence
603
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,880
of our heavenly father verily verily I
604
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,200
say unto you woe be unto him that lith
605
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,240
to deceive because he supposeth another
606
00:46:07,240 --> 00:46:11,480
lith to deceive such are not exempt from
607
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,520
the justice of God you are living a lie
608
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:16,400
and you brought an entire family into it
609
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,200
how dare you bring my family into this
610
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:20,760
Chris I don't want to fight I didn't
611
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:22,280
come all this way to end things like
612
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,200
this but I'm worried about you you're
613
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,440
worried about me yeah this coming from
614
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:31,319
the guy who traveled 800 miles
615
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,920
Uninvited I'm more worried about
616
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:39,760
you good it shows that you care I've
617
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,440
always cared about you did you ever care
618
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,040
about
619
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,119
me Chris
620
00:46:46,119 --> 00:46:49,119
Chris
621
00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:53,720
what I'm going to be here for a few
622
00:46:53,839 --> 00:46:56,040
days if you want to talk just get a hold
623
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,839
of me
624
00:47:22,230 --> 00:47:25,499
[Music]
625
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,880
for
626
00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:46,050
[Music]
627
00:47:48,440 --> 00:48:04,800
[Music]
628
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,340
for
629
00:48:07,340 --> 00:48:11,099
[Music]
630
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:56,040
hello hi
631
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,319
hey
632
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:14,799
hey what are you doing you can't eat
633
00:49:14,799 --> 00:49:16,200
rice with chopsticks I don't know how
634
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:19,640
they just eat use a fork oh I didn't see
635
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:21,839
that thank
636
00:49:21,839 --> 00:49:26,200
you here we go
637
00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:30,799
it's easier with broccoli and beef I'm
638
00:49:30,799 --> 00:49:36,079
just saying not it's okay a trial with
639
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:42,799
rice I read through one of your books
640
00:49:42,799 --> 00:49:44,480
really
641
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,760
yeah uh which
642
00:49:48,079 --> 00:49:51,799
one I don't even know I'm sorry that's
643
00:49:51,799 --> 00:49:54,480
embarrassing no it's
644
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,200
okay it was very eloquently doesn't know
645
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:01,839
what I did read thank you you're
646
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:07,319
welcome
647
00:50:07,319 --> 00:50:10,319
Hey do you
648
00:50:10,319 --> 00:50:14,559
remember when we first met Rodney uh
649
00:50:14,559 --> 00:50:18,559
yeah just he was just smoking pot you
650
00:50:18,559 --> 00:50:20,440
know in his living room in front of a
651
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:21,280
couple of
652
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,119
missionaries no shame like you do mhm
653
00:50:24,119 --> 00:50:26,799
like you do
654
00:50:26,799 --> 00:50:29,599
in that apartment oh it just smelled of
655
00:50:29,599 --> 00:50:33,559
of beer and mildew and and urine yeah a
656
00:50:33,559 --> 00:50:35,440
little bit of urine and I think I saw a
657
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,480
live posum in his kitchen I saw a dead
658
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:41,520
one yeah I think it was the same
659
00:50:41,839 --> 00:50:44,599
one I wish we could yeah he was a
660
00:50:44,599 --> 00:50:48,079
character yeah definitely and know those
661
00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:51,280
were good times in our life yeah yeah
662
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:53,000
they
663
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,640
were
664
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:59,640
so the last time I saw
665
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:04,280
you you were the epitome of a Collegiate
666
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:07,160
wrestler not so much anymore but you
667
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:10,319
look the same though thank you I mean I
668
00:51:10,319 --> 00:51:12,079
I lead a simple life you know I go to
669
00:51:12,079 --> 00:51:15,760
work I come home and Paul would stay
670
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:17,160
over all the time
671
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,960
and we were home
672
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:23,200
bodies you
673
00:51:24,119 --> 00:51:27,079
were yeah
674
00:51:27,079 --> 00:51:29,920
I'm sorry it's
675
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:34,000
okay and I'm sorry about what I said
676
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:39,799
earlier I no we were both he I it's fine
677
00:51:39,799 --> 00:51:43,559
it's it's 50/50 it's
678
00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:47,520
fine so what about you uh how's life as
679
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:51,880
a pharmaceutical rep I hate
680
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:55,040
it it's an atrocious job that pays very
681
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:56,799
well
682
00:51:56,799 --> 00:51:58,839
why don't you do something
683
00:51:58,839 --> 00:52:01,960
else I want to figure out what I want to
684
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:06,119
do I'll stop being a pharmaceutical
685
00:52:06,599 --> 00:52:08,720
rep just need some time to figure out
686
00:52:08,720 --> 00:52:12,480
what that is you yeah you
687
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:14,680
will I'll figure it
688
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:17,680
out
689
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,799
thanks you know it's funny when you're
690
00:52:24,799 --> 00:52:27,119
younger you just assume assume that life
691
00:52:27,119 --> 00:52:30,119
is going to line up and make sense at
692
00:52:30,119 --> 00:52:31,839
some
693
00:52:31,839 --> 00:52:35,599
point you have this vision of what you
694
00:52:35,599 --> 00:52:39,559
want your life to be you Mission Family
695
00:52:39,559 --> 00:52:42,559
job
696
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:47,000
um you you create this idea of what you
697
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,880
want your life to be like and you you
698
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:53,240
create these images in your
699
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:57,520
head and as you go along
700
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,759
these images just
701
00:53:02,599 --> 00:53:07,119
shatter as if they were
702
00:53:08,119 --> 00:53:12,319
nothing so easily conceived and so
703
00:53:12,319 --> 00:53:14,759
easily
704
00:53:16,359 --> 00:53:18,960
broken and then all you have left to do
705
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:24,200
is just to accept
706
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:28,440
life just the way it is
707
00:53:38,079 --> 00:53:42,839
is life is a journey isn't it
708
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,440
Ary
709
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:53,680
MH I should probably get
710
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:58,480
going yeah um this this was
711
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:00,880
fun yeah it
712
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:04,400
was and um if I don't see you
713
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,119
again I just want you to know that I'm
714
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:08,520
really glad we did
715
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:12,759
this me too
716
00:54:26,559 --> 00:54:30,079
you want me to walk you no
717
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:38,000
no I guess this is the closure I came
718
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:38,839
here
719
00:54:38,839 --> 00:54:42,280
for it's not what I wanted but maybe
720
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:45,960
this is all there is
721
00:54:59,599 --> 00:55:02,400
this is wonderful Emily it really is
722
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:05,480
thank you she's trying to make me
723
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:08,839
fat no right the guy who gets up at 4:30
724
00:55:08,839 --> 00:55:11,839
even wanting to work out
725
00:55:11,839 --> 00:55:14,880
y so how are
726
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:17,200
sales good can't
727
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,319
complain I think the toughest part of my
728
00:55:19,319 --> 00:55:21,200
job is I travel so much that I'm awake
729
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:22,079
from my
730
00:55:22,079 --> 00:55:25,760
girls he works so hard but he's got the
731
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:27,920
next two weeks off so I've got them all
732
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,880
to myself it's about time yeah I don't
733
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:35,119
know how you do it with all the hotels
734
00:55:35,119 --> 00:55:38,640
and airports I mean how do you sleep I
735
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:41,078
get used to
736
00:55:44,359 --> 00:55:47,839
it so I don't know about you but I could
737
00:55:47,839 --> 00:55:50,880
use a little bit of dessert oh honey how
738
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,520
about you and Emily run to the store and
739
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,680
get some ice cream Chris and I can chat
740
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,920
about a few matters at the church
741
00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:00,520
sounds like a great idea I wouldn't mind
742
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:05,440
ice cream sure yeah
743
00:56:07,720 --> 00:56:10,839
sure bye
744
00:56:15,559 --> 00:56:18,640
sweetie um any particular
745
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,680
flavor um how about vanilla yeah vanilla
746
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:25,879
is great okay
747
00:56:32,319 --> 00:56:33,480
well I'm glad we finally have an
748
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,079
opportunity to be alone in
749
00:56:36,079 --> 00:56:40,160
chat yeah yeah me
750
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,119
too you know I think you're a man that
751
00:56:44,119 --> 00:56:46,400
really seems to have it all figured
752
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,599
out thank
753
00:56:49,799 --> 00:56:54,920
you Chris do you consider yourself to be
754
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:57,359
open-minded um
755
00:56:57,359 --> 00:57:00,480
yeah yeah for the most
756
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:02,480
part cuz there's something I'd like to
757
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:04,039
show you if that's
758
00:57:04,039 --> 00:57:07,240
okay okay
759
00:57:07,240 --> 00:57:11,480
great great now before I begin I want to
760
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:12,680
ask you
761
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:17,079
to try to suspend the way you normally
762
00:57:17,079 --> 00:57:18,960
read
763
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:22,039
scripture try to listen to this with a
764
00:57:22,039 --> 00:57:24,559
delicate
765
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,000
Touch This is
766
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,440
um not something I can just bring up to
767
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:31,480
anyone which is why I'd rather discuss
768
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:36,920
it with someone like you it's no problem
769
00:57:38,319 --> 00:57:42,160
great Chris today I'd like to talk about
770
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:45,520
Andrew now who was
771
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:49,160
Andrew um he was an apostle um he's the
772
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:52,280
brother of Simon Peter right now we
773
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,799
don't know very much about Andrew but
774
00:57:54,799 --> 00:57:56,359
tonight let's allow Andrew to take our
775
00:57:56,359 --> 00:57:58,640
hand and lead us through the Gospel of
776
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:01,440
John Chapter
777
00:58:01,839 --> 00:58:05,240
13 Jesus Christ says to his
778
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:08,119
disciples most assuredly I say to you
779
00:58:08,119 --> 00:58:10,760
one of you will betray
780
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:13,200
me the disciples looked at one another
781
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:16,319
perplexed about whom he
782
00:58:16,319 --> 00:58:19,160
spoke one of his disciples the one whom
783
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:20,079
Jesus
784
00:58:20,079 --> 00:58:22,680
loved was lying on his
785
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,359
chest Simon Peter therefore motioned to
786
00:58:25,359 --> 00:58:29,319
him to ask asked Jesus of whom he was
787
00:58:29,319 --> 00:58:32,280
speaking so while lying next to Christ
788
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:36,160
he asked him Lord who is
789
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:41,000
it so the Lord's sitting among the other
790
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:45,160
disciples while the one he loved lies on
791
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,920
the heart of
792
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:51,319
Christ on his
793
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:58,119
chest after dinner Jesus dis robes then
794
00:58:58,119 --> 00:59:00,720
pours water into a basin and begins to
795
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:03,160
wash his disciples
796
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:06,760
feet there is nothing more gentle and
797
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:10,720
holy than washing another's feet
798
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:12,400
Aon can
799
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:16,400
I interject here for a moment Aron
800
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,680
um I don't know just hold on hold on
801
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:23,079
hear me out all right I've spent a lot
802
00:59:23,079 --> 00:59:25,400
of time thinking about this and I can't
803
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:28,160
see any other way than how it's written
804
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:32,079
there is a tenderness in these words
805
00:59:32,079 --> 00:59:34,319
Christ loves these men dearly and one
806
00:59:34,319 --> 00:59:39,240
above all and when he touches them it's
807
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:43,039
a delicate and beautiful act of kindness
808
00:59:43,039 --> 00:59:44,520
and
809
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:48,680
love and While others may say that by
810
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:49,880
loving his
811
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:52,480
disciples Jesus fell in love with
812
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:55,000
Humanity I can explain to you why I
813
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:56,960
believe that this scripture does not
814
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:01,119
refer to a call to a love for
815
01:00:01,119 --> 01:00:03,240
humankind but
816
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,039
instead refers more specifically to his
817
01:00:06,039 --> 01:00:08,960
love of Ang you can stop right there I
818
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:11,079
know what you're trying to insinuate and
819
01:00:11,079 --> 01:00:13,160
frankly I don't like
820
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:17,319
it Chris I'm just bringing that's
821
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:20,240
enough
822
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,400
okay
823
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:24,960
okay come I I I didn't mean to make you
824
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:28,599
angry I'm
825
01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:32,240
sorry Chris I think you and I are a lot
826
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:37,439
alike I too I'm struggling I'm not
827
01:00:40,039 --> 01:00:42,039
struggling
828
01:00:42,039 --> 01:00:46,119
okay I went to uh a small High School in
829
01:00:46,119 --> 01:00:48,839
Arizona this kid transferred in
830
01:00:48,839 --> 01:00:51,680
sophomore year and he wasn't exactly
831
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:54,640
popular they called him the narc he was
832
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:57,359
always tattletail and was just
833
01:00:57,359 --> 01:01:00,039
obnoxious he was very devoted to Christ
834
01:01:00,039 --> 01:01:03,079
however we bonded in that sense over
835
01:01:03,079 --> 01:01:05,119
time we became good friends great
836
01:01:05,119 --> 01:01:07,640
friends even and when the other kids
837
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:09,520
would say to me why do you spend time
838
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:13,039
with that guy I didn't care because in
839
01:01:13,039 --> 01:01:16,599
his heart he was a good
840
01:01:17,839 --> 01:01:22,839
man his name was Marshall
841
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:25,720
Harris your Zone leader when you're on a
842
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:27,919
mission
843
01:01:29,559 --> 01:01:31,880
Chris I know what happened in Oregon
844
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:33,319
with your mission
845
01:01:33,319 --> 01:01:37,599
companion and I don't judge you for
846
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:43,760
it I know your struggle and I know it
847
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,880
well and I want you to know we can help
848
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:50,680
one another through this let me help you
849
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:52,240
through
850
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:55,520
this no temptation has seized you except
851
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:58,200
what is comment of man and we need not
852
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:00,439
be
853
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:03,440
ashamed get
854
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:10,599
out I care about you Chris get out of my
855
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:19,960
house you got bananas and raspberries to
856
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:22,160
make
857
01:02:23,799 --> 01:02:27,839
splits is everything okay
858
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:32,680
I've suddenly lost my appetite for ice
859
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:36,000
cream Emily I'm
860
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:39,359
sorry we'll be seeing you
861
01:02:39,359 --> 01:02:42,680
Chris goodbye
862
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,839
Emily what
863
01:02:51,839 --> 01:02:54,079
happened he
864
01:02:54,079 --> 01:02:57,839
uh wasn't feeling well
865
01:02:58,039 --> 01:03:01,000
I'm going to go get ready for
866
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:25,839
bed is that a ladybug on the Le ladybug
867
01:03:25,839 --> 01:03:28,760
going to be orange hey sweetie red hey
868
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:31,520
hey hey um what time are you and RJ
869
01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:36,480
getting together uh around 3 I think
870
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:38,279
okay so I'll I'll call Kristen and have
871
01:03:38,279 --> 01:03:39,920
her come just a little earlier I won't
872
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:41,760
be around tonight I have to help set up
873
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:43,119
for the
874
01:03:43,119 --> 01:03:46,680
debut what's happening
875
01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:49,880
tonight it's my red jacket
876
01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:53,279
debut congratulations again baby that's
877
01:03:53,279 --> 01:03:58,640
great is that a rabbit what is that
878
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:04,680
thanks oh um you know how did you call
879
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:07,160
the catering company asked them to add
880
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:09,160
two more tables and the China and the
881
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,240
flatware like I had
882
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:12,960
asked
883
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:17,599
no no I completely forgot I'm
884
01:04:17,599 --> 01:04:19,400
sorry honey it's your parents
885
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:22,440
anniversary yeah I know I just forgot
886
01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:27,000
and I'm sorry I'll get on it
887
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:28,520
yeah
888
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:30,079
okay
889
01:04:30,079 --> 01:04:34,079
okay thanks
890
01:04:57,880 --> 01:04:59,520
I'd like to level with
891
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,119
you
892
01:05:02,119 --> 01:05:04,279
okay I'm
893
01:05:04,279 --> 01:05:08,119
sorry for abandoning
894
01:05:09,279 --> 01:05:13,319
you I'm sorry for the way I treated
895
01:05:13,319 --> 01:05:16,680
you it was
896
01:05:18,119 --> 01:05:20,640
cruel and I'm sorry for not responding
897
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:24,920
to any of your letters or phone calls
898
01:05:28,599 --> 01:05:31,839
I received them all your
899
01:05:31,839 --> 01:05:35,200
letters and they touched me
900
01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:38,759
deeply but I couldn't
901
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:45,319
respond I truly
902
01:05:45,319 --> 01:05:49,039
loved the time that we spent
903
01:05:49,039 --> 01:05:53,960
together but once I returned home
904
01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,480
I felt my father's
905
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:02,000
Shadow and his position in the high
906
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:05,359
Authority looming over
907
01:06:05,359 --> 01:06:08,759
me like a
908
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:11,680
cloud he recommended that I go to
909
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:14,240
reparative
910
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:18,558
therapy which I
911
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:23,760
did and eventually I was deemed worthy
912
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:28,640
enough to continue my service to the
913
01:06:31,559 --> 01:06:35,160
church and then I'm met
914
01:06:36,279 --> 01:06:40,640
Emily and we had this amazing
915
01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:43,640
intense
916
01:06:44,279 --> 01:06:50,000
connection and I thought finally a
917
01:06:52,039 --> 01:06:55,960
cure I sincerely believed that if I got
918
01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:58,119
married that I would be given the
919
01:06:58,119 --> 01:07:02,000
strength to overcome
920
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:06,319
this but every time I see a man that I'm
921
01:07:06,319 --> 01:07:07,400
attracted
922
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:11,160
to it's like something inside of me is
923
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:14,598
screaming to get
924
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:18,760
out there's this message that is sent
925
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:20,279
and
926
01:07:20,279 --> 01:07:24,279
received instantly
927
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:32,960
I am a religious man
928
01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:36,440
RJ I know you
929
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:41,880
are but I feel
930
01:07:45,640 --> 01:07:51,000
forsaken I have so much pain in my
931
01:07:52,240 --> 01:07:57,279
heart and I just deal with it
932
01:07:58,359 --> 01:08:01,799
it feels as if there's this axe that has
933
01:08:01,799 --> 01:08:05,279
been thrust into my
934
01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:12,319
chest this pain the the fasting the
935
01:08:12,319 --> 01:08:16,920
prayer it consumes my
936
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:19,120
life and there
937
01:08:19,120 --> 01:08:25,120
is little energy left for anything else
938
01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:35,080
I am not living
939
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:42,000
honorably Chris I feel I care so
940
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:45,359
much about
941
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:48,158
you look at
942
01:08:48,158 --> 01:08:51,640
me there's nothing wrong with
943
01:08:51,640 --> 01:08:53,759
us we're just
944
01:08:53,759 --> 01:08:55,799
victims of a culture that that doesn't
945
01:08:55,799 --> 01:08:58,158
accept
946
01:09:20,198 --> 01:09:24,799
us may I touch you
947
01:09:38,040 --> 01:09:40,479
this
948
01:09:42,839 --> 01:09:47,679
face I've seen it in my dreams
949
01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:03,080
what I'm
950
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:05,719
sorry I'm
951
01:10:05,719 --> 01:10:09,560
sorry I thought this is what you
952
01:10:09,719 --> 01:10:12,920
wanted it
953
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:26,320
is what do you want me to do
954
01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:31,920
just I missed
955
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:37,120
you miss you
956
01:10:50,440 --> 01:10:55,559
to I've wanted this for so long
957
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:02,280
this I pledge as a star recruiter this I
958
01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:04,679
pledge as a star recruiter to live by
959
01:11:04,679 --> 01:11:07,000
the Golden Rule philosophy to live by
960
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:09,280
the Golden Rule philosophy to encourage
961
01:11:09,280 --> 01:11:11,679
and support my team members to encourage
962
01:11:11,679 --> 01:11:13,760
and support my team members this I
963
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:16,600
pledge as a brand new star recruiter
964
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:18,719
this I pledge as a brand new star
965
01:11:18,719 --> 01:11:20,360
recruiter excellent give her a round of
966
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,560
applause
967
01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:26,640
L thank you your red girl
968
01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:30,500
thank you
969
01:11:30,500 --> 01:12:01,819
[Music]
970
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:05,600
way that you
971
01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:11,480
hold me the way that you hold
972
01:12:11,480 --> 01:12:16,559
me the way that you
973
01:12:20,290 --> 01:12:40,480
[Music]
974
01:12:40,480 --> 01:12:43,480
done
975
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:07,080
f
976
01:13:29,340 --> 01:13:45,960
[Music]
977
01:13:52,840 --> 01:13:56,010
[Music]
978
01:13:58,730 --> 01:14:11,450
[Music]
979
01:14:14,140 --> 01:14:24,119
[Music]
980
01:15:00,230 --> 01:15:04,978
[Music]
981
01:15:08,920 --> 01:15:13,459
[Music]
982
01:15:22,080 --> 01:15:25,199
so right now I have a special for you
983
01:15:25,199 --> 01:15:27,920
it's 50% off any product when you spend
984
01:15:27,920 --> 01:15:31,239
$40 or more on beauty essential
985
01:15:31,239 --> 01:15:34,799
products which is really
986
01:15:35,360 --> 01:15:38,920
good you had mentioned a lipstick you
987
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:42,920
wanted to try sure
988
01:15:48,639 --> 01:15:53,920
okay are you all right dear
989
01:15:56,760 --> 01:15:58,440
um I
990
01:15:58,440 --> 01:16:01,440
don't
991
01:16:02,760 --> 01:16:08,239
honey can I can I help you with
992
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:15,600
something
993
01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:25,519
dear hey baby
994
01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:39,520
have you been sitting there since I
995
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:42,920
left where were
996
01:16:43,560 --> 01:16:47,040
you were you with
997
01:16:47,040 --> 01:16:50,040
RJ
998
01:16:50,840 --> 01:16:53,840
yeah you must think I'm such a
999
01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:57,120
fool what are you talking
1000
01:16:57,120 --> 01:17:00,239
about come
1001
01:17:00,679 --> 01:17:04,600
on I know what you've been
1002
01:17:07,400 --> 01:17:12,040
doing my heart is broken
1003
01:17:16,080 --> 01:17:19,840
Chris and I think I've always
1004
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:22,040
known but I hid it in the back of my
1005
01:17:22,040 --> 01:17:26,840
mind because I thought I could trust you
1006
01:17:30,360 --> 01:17:33,360
you need to come
1007
01:17:33,480 --> 01:17:36,360
clean you need to be honest with me
1008
01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:38,679
what's
1009
01:17:41,239 --> 01:17:43,639
wrong I saw
1010
01:17:43,639 --> 01:17:47,840
you Chris you saw
1011
01:17:49,840 --> 01:17:55,040
what you call yourself a man of faith
1012
01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:00,840
I saw
1013
01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:04,120
you with your friend
1014
01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:09,159
RJ at that hotel just 10 blocks from
1015
01:18:11,560 --> 01:18:14,520
here you kissed
1016
01:18:14,520 --> 01:18:18,400
him the way you kissed
1017
01:18:23,080 --> 01:18:26,760
me I'm so stupid
1018
01:18:27,480 --> 01:18:29,360
cuz all the signs were
1019
01:18:29,360 --> 01:18:34,360
there they were just there and I ignored
1020
01:18:34,360 --> 01:18:38,320
them I'm so stupid
1021
01:18:44,800 --> 01:18:46,840
though God only knows what you do when
1022
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:48,440
you're out traveling for
1023
01:18:48,440 --> 01:18:51,239
work in one city after the next stay in
1024
01:18:51,239 --> 01:18:54,840
hotels meeting strangers
1025
01:18:54,840 --> 01:18:55,800
have there been
1026
01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:58,800
others
1027
01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:02,440
no I don't believe
1028
01:19:02,440 --> 01:19:07,199
you I don't believe a word you say
1029
01:19:07,199 --> 01:19:11,120
anymore there's been nobody
1030
01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:16,960
else have you been going to see him in
1031
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:19,320
Seattle
1032
01:19:19,320 --> 01:19:22,520
no I haven't seen him since my
1033
01:19:22,520 --> 01:19:26,719
mission since your mission
1034
01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:33,080
I can only imagine what that was
1035
01:19:33,760 --> 01:19:35,710
like what about me and
1036
01:19:35,710 --> 01:19:36,840
[Music]
1037
01:19:36,840 --> 01:19:39,040
Kaye has that thought ever crossed your
1038
01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:41,880
mind
1039
01:19:42,199 --> 01:19:45,638
yes yes of
1040
01:19:47,239 --> 01:19:52,239
course I'm so sorry Em
1041
01:20:01,360 --> 01:20:04,159
can we pray this
1042
01:20:04,520 --> 01:20:07,239
away is there anything we can
1043
01:20:07,239 --> 01:20:10,600
do I will do whatever it
1044
01:20:10,600 --> 01:20:14,560
takes but you have to stop
1045
01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:17,320
this I need
1046
01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:21,080
you I need you
1047
01:20:23,040 --> 01:20:26,639
CH what do we do
1048
01:20:35,639 --> 01:20:39,400
what can I not give you that he can
1049
01:20:39,400 --> 01:20:42,440
please don't ask me
1050
01:20:44,239 --> 01:20:49,400
that I have been devoted to you to this
1051
01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:53,000
family the feelings that I have for
1052
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:57,199
him I can never have for a
1053
01:20:58,840 --> 01:21:01,120
woman seeing him again just brought
1054
01:21:01,120 --> 01:21:03,599
everything
1055
01:21:04,520 --> 01:21:07,000
back and I've
1056
01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:09,480
tried to become something that I thought
1057
01:21:09,480 --> 01:21:13,519
I was supposed to be but I
1058
01:21:14,360 --> 01:21:17,960
can't I failed
1059
01:21:18,280 --> 01:21:22,880
you I failed you
1060
01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:31,560
I don't know what to do with
1061
01:21:36,360 --> 01:21:40,400
that I will not accept
1062
01:21:41,679 --> 01:21:48,000
that you made a promise to me for
1063
01:21:50,360 --> 01:21:54,639
eternity is this what you want Chris
1064
01:21:54,639 --> 01:21:57,040
my life
1065
01:22:03,440 --> 01:22:06,280
without destroying
1066
01:22:06,280 --> 01:22:09,920
me destroying
1067
01:22:21,239 --> 01:22:26,199
this if this is what you want Chris
1068
01:22:32,120 --> 01:22:34,880
you have to tell your
1069
01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:40,920
family tell them
1070
01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:45,679
what the truth
1071
01:23:17,880 --> 01:23:22,320
hey guys come on in how are you
1072
01:23:22,320 --> 01:23:25,880
darling Oh
1073
01:23:25,880 --> 01:23:27,960
I guess have a seat King of the man
1074
01:23:27,960 --> 01:23:30,120
don't
1075
01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:37,080
I so what's the big news guys uh we're
1076
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:39,520
still waiting on one
1077
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:43,920
person Chris who
1078
01:23:54,679 --> 01:23:56,880
on
1079
01:24:00,159 --> 01:24:02,000
in it's
1080
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:05,000
okay
1081
01:24:17,280 --> 01:24:20,880
sure this is my friend
1082
01:24:21,239 --> 01:24:25,239
RJ hey
1083
01:24:27,880 --> 01:24:31,560
what is he doing here I wanted him here
1084
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:34,560
trust me it's
1085
01:24:34,560 --> 01:24:37,639
okay so how do you know Chris and Emily
1086
01:24:37,639 --> 01:24:41,840
are J I'm just a friend
1087
01:24:41,840 --> 01:24:45,320
okay I've known Chris for a
1088
01:24:45,320 --> 01:24:49,519
while that's great
1089
01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:56,320
yeah so what's going on
1090
01:24:57,400 --> 01:24:59,800
um Chris and I have something we'd like
1091
01:24:59,800 --> 01:25:02,239
to tell
1092
01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:14,320
you this isn't easy for me to
1093
01:25:14,639 --> 01:25:17,760
say but I haven't been completely honest
1094
01:25:17,760 --> 01:25:19,960
with any of
1095
01:25:19,960 --> 01:25:25,560
you and I feel like I should come clean
1096
01:25:32,520 --> 01:25:34,360
I
1097
01:25:34,360 --> 01:25:38,119
uh I uh
1098
01:25:47,320 --> 01:25:51,639
I'm I'm gay
1099
01:25:55,800 --> 01:25:58,719
and I'm in love with
1100
01:26:11,520 --> 01:26:14,520
him
1101
01:26:15,560 --> 01:26:19,800
Chris I know that you love
1102
01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:22,400
Emily
1103
01:26:22,400 --> 01:26:25,000
but I guess I just always kind of
1104
01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:28,119
assumed you
1105
01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:32,760
know I just love
1106
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:35,560
you and I want
1107
01:26:35,560 --> 01:26:40,400
you both of you just to be
1108
01:26:40,400 --> 01:26:43,000
happy thank
1109
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:45,960
you son we can work this
1110
01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:49,960
through we can work this through
1111
01:26:50,480 --> 01:26:54,480
again again
1112
01:26:55,400 --> 01:26:59,440
you you are a home
1113
01:27:01,480 --> 01:27:05,119
wrecker please make him leave I don't
1114
01:27:05,119 --> 01:27:06,719
understand why why did you invite him
1115
01:27:06,719 --> 01:27:09,040
here in the first place I need him here
1116
01:27:09,040 --> 01:27:12,199
you don't me to leave no please I think
1117
01:27:12,199 --> 01:27:14,679
you should I knew who you were as soon
1118
01:27:14,679 --> 01:27:15,960
as you walked through that door and I
1119
01:27:15,960 --> 01:27:18,239
think you should get up and walk out and
1120
01:27:18,239 --> 01:27:20,880
never come back Chris I I feel like this
1121
01:27:20,880 --> 01:27:24,480
is a family matter
1122
01:27:25,080 --> 01:27:26,920
I I don't even understand why I'm here
1123
01:27:26,920 --> 01:27:30,480
yet neither do I I think you should do
1124
01:27:30,480 --> 01:27:32,280
exactly what my father said and you
1125
01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:35,639
should go Greg sit
1126
01:27:35,800 --> 01:27:38,800
down
1127
01:27:39,440 --> 01:27:42,280
Chris how could you do this to Mom and
1128
01:27:42,280 --> 01:27:45,280
Dad and let alone Emily what are you
1129
01:27:45,280 --> 01:27:48,280
what are you thinking
1130
01:27:49,040 --> 01:27:54,080
man this has nothing to do with them
1131
01:27:58,239 --> 01:27:59,360
my
1132
01:27:59,360 --> 01:28:02,159
brother is not gay I've known him a
1133
01:28:02,159 --> 01:28:05,920
whole life I would know okay AR I'm so
1134
01:28:05,920 --> 01:28:07,719
sorry I'm so sorry
1135
01:28:07,719 --> 01:28:10,280
too
1136
01:28:10,280 --> 01:28:13,280
Qui
1137
01:28:13,360 --> 01:28:17,320
Greg pleas you sit down Greg
1138
01:28:17,320 --> 01:28:24,920
Greg sit down great come on sit down
1139
01:28:32,199 --> 01:28:34,360
Emily honey I'd love to know your
1140
01:28:34,360 --> 01:28:37,080
thoughts on all
1141
01:28:39,480 --> 01:28:43,119
this I love you I feel like a failure as
1142
01:28:43,119 --> 01:28:45,360
a
1143
01:28:45,440 --> 01:28:49,719
wife but I'm not ready to give up
1144
01:28:50,679 --> 01:28:54,360
yet so you're you're gay and you're in
1145
01:28:54,360 --> 01:28:56,880
love with a
1146
01:28:59,560 --> 01:29:03,080
man that doesn't explain or answer to me
1147
01:29:03,080 --> 01:29:06,800
how you're you're going to leave your
1148
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:09,520
wife abandon
1149
01:29:09,520 --> 01:29:11,800
me and your
1150
01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:14,360
daughter your family your church your
1151
01:29:14,360 --> 01:29:16,080
heavenly
1152
01:29:16,080 --> 01:29:19,159
father also that you can just have some
1153
01:29:19,159 --> 01:29:23,879
momentary self-indulgent fling
1154
01:29:24,920 --> 01:29:27,960
this is about who I
1155
01:29:29,960 --> 01:29:33,400
am I don't expect you to forgive
1156
01:29:33,400 --> 01:29:37,440
me but I hope one day you can
1157
01:29:37,440 --> 01:29:40,560
understand and that you can help me help
1158
01:29:40,560 --> 01:29:43,560
Kaye
1159
01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:47,760
understand but this is something I have
1160
01:29:47,760 --> 01:29:53,159
to do no honey no you do not abandon me
1161
01:29:53,159 --> 01:29:56,040
Emily
1162
01:29:56,480 --> 01:29:59,519
you have to let me
1163
01:30:06,840 --> 01:30:09,840
go
1164
01:30:10,040 --> 01:30:12,320
yes
1165
01:30:12,320 --> 01:30:20,400
yeah no no never I cannot let your
1166
01:30:20,880 --> 01:30:25,960
com why would you do this to me
1167
01:30:30,520 --> 01:30:33,719
I'm not doing this to Hur
1168
01:30:36,639 --> 01:30:39,880
you you have to do this
1169
01:30:39,880 --> 01:30:46,440
honey I hate you you get out of my house
1170
01:31:17,199 --> 01:31:19,639
hi you know my dad never told my mom
1171
01:31:19,639 --> 01:31:22,480
about what happened on our
1172
01:31:22,480 --> 01:31:26,239
mission he kept from
1173
01:31:27,360 --> 01:31:31,440
her she could barely look at me
1174
01:31:36,800 --> 01:31:39,080
today my dad's asked me to write a
1175
01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:41,199
letter to everyone we know telling them
1176
01:31:41,199 --> 01:31:43,360
the
1177
01:31:44,719 --> 01:31:48,320
truth I'm going to do
1178
01:31:49,400 --> 01:31:55,679
it I'm going to honor him and do it
1179
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:04,719
I'm going to wait till after the
1180
01:32:04,719 --> 01:32:07,000
anniversary party and then send them off
1181
01:32:07,000 --> 01:32:10,400
one by one
1182
01:32:36,040 --> 01:32:40,800
hello is this Thomas Smith yes it is
1183
01:32:40,800 --> 01:32:42,719
hello Thomas this is Noah Merill I'm
1184
01:32:42,719 --> 01:32:44,520
calling you from Salt Lake
1185
01:32:44,520 --> 01:32:48,920
City yes I know who you are of course um
1186
01:32:48,920 --> 01:32:51,480
to what do I owe the honor well I'm
1187
01:32:51,480 --> 01:32:54,600
afraid this call is uh regard ing a
1188
01:32:54,600 --> 01:32:59,119
rather sensitive issue um sure what is
1189
01:32:59,119 --> 01:32:59,920
this
1190
01:32:59,920 --> 01:33:02,639
regarding several years ago your son RJ
1191
01:33:02,639 --> 01:33:05,760
and my son Chris were Mission
1192
01:33:05,760 --> 01:33:08,360
companions I
1193
01:33:08,360 --> 01:33:10,760
see and I don't know if you knew this
1194
01:33:10,760 --> 01:33:15,000
but RJ is currently in Salt Lake City no
1195
01:33:15,000 --> 01:33:17,480
I I didn't know
1196
01:33:17,480 --> 01:33:24,159
that yeah well he is and um he's complic
1197
01:33:24,159 --> 01:33:27,760
things for Chris and his wife they've
1198
01:33:27,760 --> 01:33:30,920
been meeting at a hotel near Chris's
1199
01:33:30,920 --> 01:33:33,800
home and I just I think it would be good
1200
01:33:33,800 --> 01:33:36,960
if you were to call RJ and convince him
1201
01:33:36,960 --> 01:33:39,280
to go back to
1202
01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:42,800
Seattle brother Merill I I know this
1203
01:33:42,800 --> 01:33:45,280
must be difficult for you but RJ's a
1204
01:33:45,280 --> 01:33:48,119
grown man I can call him and ask him to
1205
01:33:48,119 --> 01:33:50,080
leave Salt Lake City but that doesn't
1206
01:33:50,080 --> 01:33:53,159
mean he'll go Thomas Chris and his wife
1207
01:33:53,159 --> 01:33:56,360
are thinking about getting a
1208
01:33:56,639 --> 01:33:59,400
divorce he he's been doing great he's
1209
01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:01,159
he's come so
1210
01:34:01,159 --> 01:34:05,360
far but your son is just he he brings
1211
01:34:05,360 --> 01:34:08,239
confusion and despair to Chris's life
1212
01:34:08,239 --> 01:34:10,639
and I hate to say it but I really I
1213
01:34:10,639 --> 01:34:12,920
think it was RJ who seduced Chris on his
1214
01:34:12,920 --> 01:34:15,800
mission trip again I'm sorry for what
1215
01:34:15,800 --> 01:34:17,480
you and your family are going through
1216
01:34:17,480 --> 01:34:20,960
but to put the blame solely on RJ it's
1217
01:34:20,960 --> 01:34:24,639
just not fair your son is a part of this
1218
01:34:24,639 --> 01:34:28,199
as much as RJ you know that Chris was
1219
01:34:28,199 --> 01:34:31,239
fine until RJ showed up at his door
1220
01:34:31,239 --> 01:34:33,880
Noah I think you and I are a lot more
1221
01:34:33,880 --> 01:34:36,199
similar than we might guess I don't
1222
01:34:36,199 --> 01:34:38,239
think so I don't think so what kind of a
1223
01:34:38,239 --> 01:34:39,719
father would let his son parade around
1224
01:34:39,719 --> 01:34:44,320
as a pansy now hang on just one
1225
01:34:44,320 --> 01:34:46,960
minute I'm very sorry for what you and
1226
01:34:46,960 --> 01:34:49,119
your family are going through but my son
1227
01:34:49,119 --> 01:34:52,560
is a good boy he's a good boy and
1228
01:34:52,560 --> 01:34:54,800
whatever is happening in Salt Lake City
1229
01:34:54,800 --> 01:34:56,880
is being reciprocated by your son or
1230
01:34:56,880 --> 01:35:00,360
else RJ would have left by
1231
01:35:01,400 --> 01:35:04,480
now I'm proud of my
1232
01:35:04,480 --> 01:35:08,679
son and this hasn't been easy on me but
1233
01:35:08,679 --> 01:35:12,080
I love him so
1234
01:35:12,199 --> 01:35:17,560
much and he struggled too as has
1235
01:35:17,560 --> 01:35:22,280
Chris RJ has been on a very powerful
1236
01:35:22,280 --> 01:35:24,760
spiritual journey to come to peace with
1237
01:35:24,760 --> 01:35:25,840
who he
1238
01:35:25,840 --> 01:35:30,280
is no matter what the church says about
1239
01:35:30,280 --> 01:35:33,679
him and Brenda and
1240
01:35:33,679 --> 01:35:36,639
I we've started our
1241
01:35:36,639 --> 01:35:39,080
journey and now brother
1242
01:35:39,080 --> 01:35:43,519
Merill you and your family have to begin
1243
01:35:43,840 --> 01:35:47,400
yours and if you ever say anything bad
1244
01:35:47,400 --> 01:35:49,080
about my son
1245
01:35:49,080 --> 01:35:51,719
again you and I are going to have a
1246
01:35:51,719 --> 01:35:55,639
problem you understand me
1247
01:35:58,630 --> 01:36:03,430
[Music]
1248
01:36:06,200 --> 01:36:09,450
[Music]
1249
01:36:13,190 --> 01:36:18,858
[Music]
1250
01:36:22,560 --> 01:36:24,770
Chu for
1251
01:36:24,770 --> 01:36:47,399
[Music]
1252
01:37:22,830 --> 01:37:25,970
[Music]
1253
01:37:28,980 --> 01:37:32,250
[Music]
1254
01:37:42,840 --> 01:37:45,840
D
1255
01:37:51,119 --> 01:37:55,440
you I can't see you
1256
01:37:55,639 --> 01:37:58,679
why can't I see
1257
01:37:59,239 --> 01:38:04,280
you why can't I see you
1258
01:38:10,720 --> 01:38:19,920
[Music]
1259
01:38:25,790 --> 01:38:37,199
[Music]
1260
01:38:37,199 --> 01:38:40,320
now I can see the damage I've
1261
01:38:40,320 --> 01:38:43,360
done I'm holding on to something from my
1262
01:38:43,360 --> 01:38:46,560
past it's not just Chris it's everything
1263
01:38:46,560 --> 01:38:50,560
that's left in me that's LDS
1264
01:38:59,920 --> 01:39:05,040
here I make my Solem
1265
01:39:05,040 --> 01:39:11,960
th to keep his light in front of
1266
01:39:11,960 --> 01:39:17,510
me in spite of what the
1267
01:39:17,510 --> 01:39:18,800
[Music]
1268
01:39:18,800 --> 01:39:24,120
dark of what love comes unto
1269
01:39:24,120 --> 01:39:25,719
[Music]
1270
01:39:25,719 --> 01:39:31,800
me the Seas May rage for Endless
1271
01:39:31,800 --> 01:39:38,520
years the winds may test and age me
1272
01:39:38,520 --> 01:39:43,840
still I will keep his light in my heart
1273
01:39:43,840 --> 01:39:49,560
I know he will save
1274
01:39:49,560 --> 01:39:55,560
me here I give myself to to
1275
01:39:55,560 --> 01:40:01,599
him in sweet and clear
1276
01:40:03,000 --> 01:40:09,760
surrender I know his love is pure and
1277
01:40:09,760 --> 01:40:15,560
true I know his soul is
1278
01:40:16,880 --> 01:40:24,320
tender and if I sink under the waves
1279
01:40:24,480 --> 01:40:28,119
if Black Knight comes to
1280
01:40:28,119 --> 01:40:31,119
claim
1281
01:40:31,440 --> 01:40:36,650
me I know my soul will be
1282
01:40:36,650 --> 01:40:39,599
[Music]
1283
01:40:39,599 --> 01:40:45,719
redeemed my love for him will
1284
01:40:45,719 --> 01:40:49,719
save me
1285
01:41:12,880 --> 01:41:14,960
well I just wanted to start by saying
1286
01:41:14,960 --> 01:41:16,920
that Uncle Noah and a Debbie are
1287
01:41:16,920 --> 01:41:19,400
personally my favorite people what else
1288
01:41:19,400 --> 01:41:22,199
can I say but congratulations I love you
1289
01:41:22,199 --> 01:41:24,960
both
1290
01:41:24,960 --> 01:41:26,639
well let's get Uncle Noah up here I
1291
01:41:26,639 --> 01:41:28,610
think he has something he wants to say
1292
01:41:28,610 --> 01:41:33,670
[Applause]
1293
01:41:38,760 --> 01:41:41,960
to thank
1294
01:41:42,679 --> 01:41:44,960
you I want to thank you all for coming
1295
01:41:44,960 --> 01:41:46,280
here
1296
01:41:46,280 --> 01:41:49,719
tonight this is the 25th year that I've
1297
01:41:49,719 --> 01:41:52,520
spent with my soulmate the love of my
1298
01:41:52,520 --> 01:41:53,560
life debor Mar
1299
01:41:53,560 --> 01:41:56,969
[Applause]
1300
01:41:59,719 --> 01:42:02,040
you know when I met her at a conference
1301
01:42:02,040 --> 01:42:04,520
center in Cleveland Ohio I knew right
1302
01:42:04,520 --> 01:42:06,719
away that it was more than just a
1303
01:42:06,719 --> 01:42:10,480
coincidence that it was
1304
01:42:10,480 --> 01:42:12,040
fate
1305
01:42:12,040 --> 01:42:13,840
and I'm
1306
01:42:13,840 --> 01:42:17,960
honored to have such a wonderful
1307
01:42:17,960 --> 01:42:20,480
woman in my
1308
01:42:20,480 --> 01:42:23,800
life and uh
1309
01:42:23,800 --> 01:42:27,199
and our three beautiful children and
1310
01:42:27,199 --> 01:42:29,719
Emily our
1311
01:42:30,480 --> 01:42:33,199
daughter-in-law you
1312
01:42:33,199 --> 01:42:35,679
see you don't get to choose who you love
1313
01:42:35,679 --> 01:42:36,599
in this
1314
01:42:36,599 --> 01:42:38,960
world our heavenly father makes those
1315
01:42:38,960 --> 01:42:41,719
choices for
1316
01:42:42,119 --> 01:42:44,599
us
1317
01:42:44,599 --> 01:42:47,000
and uh in the
1318
01:42:47,000 --> 01:42:51,679
end all we have is family
1319
01:43:05,880 --> 01:43:08,199
what are you
1320
01:43:11,960 --> 01:43:15,800
doing I'm leaving
1321
01:43:15,800 --> 01:43:18,040
why you have no
1322
01:43:18,040 --> 01:43:20,560
idea how happy I am to have spent this
1323
01:43:20,560 --> 01:43:24,159
last week with you
1324
01:43:26,159 --> 01:43:27,440
there's always a part of me that's going
1325
01:43:27,440 --> 01:43:28,720
to love
1326
01:43:28,720 --> 01:43:32,379
[Music]
1327
01:43:32,480 --> 01:43:35,520
you so before I
1328
01:43:35,520 --> 01:43:38,440
go I want to do something for
1329
01:43:38,440 --> 01:43:41,440
you
1330
01:43:42,860 --> 01:43:50,438
[Music]
1331
01:43:51,119 --> 01:43:54,860
what forgive me for
1332
01:43:54,860 --> 01:44:08,589
[Music]
1333
01:44:17,860 --> 01:44:25,289
[Music]
1334
01:44:26,560 --> 01:44:30,000
I just saved you $100 in
1335
01:44:30,000 --> 01:44:32,360
stamps I
1336
01:44:32,360 --> 01:44:34,159
can
1337
01:44:34,159 --> 01:44:36,180
withand all
1338
01:44:36,180 --> 01:44:37,960
[Music]
1339
01:44:37,960 --> 01:44:39,960
tragedy and
1340
01:44:39,960 --> 01:44:42,480
sin
1341
01:44:42,480 --> 01:44:44,040
inflicted
1342
01:44:44,040 --> 01:44:48,040
upon me and
1343
01:44:48,040 --> 01:44:49,840
sickness
1344
01:44:49,840 --> 01:44:53,840
without remed
1345
01:44:54,080 --> 01:45:00,239
with my heart held up
1346
01:45:00,639 --> 01:45:07,480
high I live a life of
1347
01:45:07,719 --> 01:45:15,599
solitude no dreams have I chance to
1348
01:45:15,599 --> 01:45:17,599
pursue
1349
01:45:17,599 --> 01:45:24,960
only life and live I do
1350
01:45:40,000 --> 01:45:41,119
do you know yet what you're going to say
1351
01:45:41,119 --> 01:45:43,440
to your
1352
01:45:45,000 --> 01:45:47,199
father well I've already told him the
1353
01:45:47,199 --> 01:45:50,639
truth and he can't accept
1354
01:45:50,639 --> 01:45:53,199
it so I assume all that's left to say is
1355
01:45:53,199 --> 01:45:55,360
I'm
1356
01:46:06,000 --> 01:46:09,880
sorry but you've already done
1357
01:46:19,119 --> 01:46:21,920
that honey you can't hold this
1358
01:46:21,920 --> 01:46:25,480
in need to talk to
1359
01:46:28,560 --> 01:46:31,679
somebody I'm not a good person am
1360
01:46:31,679 --> 01:46:34,920
I honey of course you
1361
01:46:34,920 --> 01:46:37,000
are honey this doesn't come as a
1362
01:46:37,000 --> 01:46:38,599
surprise to any of
1363
01:46:38,599 --> 01:46:41,040
us I mean do you think your dad is upset
1364
01:46:41,040 --> 01:46:44,360
because he's shocked by
1365
01:46:44,360 --> 01:46:48,159
this no
1366
01:46:48,159 --> 01:46:50,840
no I need you to understand something
1367
01:46:50,840 --> 01:46:52,639
mom can we please talk about this later
1368
01:46:52,639 --> 01:46:57,719
no no no we need to talk about this now
1369
01:46:57,719 --> 01:46:59,800
you need to understand
1370
01:46:59,800 --> 01:47:03,199
something okay you made these choices
1371
01:47:03,199 --> 01:47:07,480
okay Mom no no listen I can't stand as
1372
01:47:07,480 --> 01:47:08,679
you in
1373
01:47:08,679 --> 01:47:13,360
vain you made the choice to go on a
1374
01:47:13,360 --> 01:47:15,400
mission you made the choice to get
1375
01:47:15,400 --> 01:47:16,800
married in the
1376
01:47:16,800 --> 01:47:19,800
temple and those choices
1377
01:47:19,800 --> 01:47:24,560
honey they gave your father hope
1378
01:47:24,560 --> 01:47:27,400
they gave me hope
1379
01:47:28,599 --> 01:47:31,000
too oh
1380
01:47:31,000 --> 01:47:34,239
honey all we have in this life is each
1381
01:47:34,239 --> 01:47:39,040
other you know that Annie I love I love
1382
01:47:39,040 --> 01:47:41,040
our life and I love our family our
1383
01:47:41,040 --> 01:47:46,040
Eternal family and and I I love being
1384
01:47:46,040 --> 01:47:49,639
LDS and I love our heavenly
1385
01:47:49,639 --> 01:47:52,159
father I know this has been so hard for
1386
01:47:52,159 --> 01:47:54,839
you
1387
01:47:55,599 --> 01:47:58,520
let me tell you as hard as this is you
1388
01:47:58,520 --> 01:48:02,239
have to know that you are a child of God
1389
01:48:02,239 --> 01:48:04,679
you are and he loves
1390
01:48:04,679 --> 01:48:08,400
you and if he can't accept you the way
1391
01:48:08,400 --> 01:48:09,639
that you
1392
01:48:09,639 --> 01:48:13,719
are just the way he made
1393
01:48:13,760 --> 01:48:17,599
you I want you to know I
1394
01:48:18,199 --> 01:48:23,400
will okay I will
1395
01:48:24,639 --> 01:48:28,719
and your father will come around he
1396
01:48:28,920 --> 01:48:32,199
will that really hurt Emily
1397
01:48:32,199 --> 01:48:34,960
though honey she's going to need some
1398
01:48:34,960 --> 01:48:38,639
time okay and you'll give her
1399
01:48:38,639 --> 01:48:42,080
that okay but right now you need to work
1400
01:48:42,080 --> 01:48:44,440
on Chris
1401
01:48:44,440 --> 01:48:47,400
okay give her some
1402
01:48:47,400 --> 01:48:52,239
time and then you can help her and help
1403
01:48:52,239 --> 01:48:53,960
Kaye to understand what she's going
1404
01:48:53,960 --> 01:48:59,080
through and what's happening around her
1405
01:48:59,400 --> 01:49:02,400
okay
1406
01:49:02,520 --> 01:49:04,970
myy oh
1407
01:49:04,970 --> 01:49:08,259
[Music]
1408
01:49:11,920 --> 01:49:15,159
sweetie I love you I love
1409
01:49:15,159 --> 01:49:19,920
you it's going to be okay
1410
01:49:52,000 --> 01:49:55,840
whatever that St was you pulled last
1411
01:49:56,639 --> 01:49:59,880
night it's made the 20 years that I've
1412
01:49:59,880 --> 01:50:02,800
given the church mean
1413
01:50:02,800 --> 01:50:05,920
nothing nothing at all of course they
1414
01:50:05,920 --> 01:50:08,239
meant
1415
01:50:11,520 --> 01:50:13,800
something and you broke that poor girl's
1416
01:50:13,800 --> 01:50:17,880
heart with your lies you know that
1417
01:50:17,880 --> 01:50:21,199
right and I raised you to be
1418
01:50:21,199 --> 01:50:23,360
honest to be honest I would have to
1419
01:50:23,360 --> 01:50:25,760
admit to being
1420
01:50:25,760 --> 01:50:28,320
gay I've been praying this away since I
1421
01:50:28,320 --> 01:50:30,679
was a
1422
01:50:31,080 --> 01:50:34,119
child I've been guilty every day of my
1423
01:50:34,119 --> 01:50:35,480
life do you really want me to live the
1424
01:50:35,480 --> 01:50:38,960
rest of my life feeling this
1425
01:50:38,960 --> 01:50:43,320
way if it means your loyalty to
1426
01:50:43,760 --> 01:50:47,440
God then yes I
1427
01:50:51,239 --> 01:50:55,280
do I have to to go Chris dad I have to
1428
01:50:55,280 --> 01:50:59,159
go can we please finish this
1429
01:51:00,920 --> 01:51:05,000
conversation we have nothing left to
1430
01:51:17,040 --> 01:51:19,599
discuss Chris what are you doing I am
1431
01:51:19,599 --> 01:51:21,079
not letting you leave without finishing
1432
01:51:21,079 --> 01:51:23,079
this conversation
1433
01:51:23,079 --> 01:51:26,199
so you're embarrassed to have a gay
1434
01:51:26,199 --> 01:51:28,719
son yes I'm embarrassed to have a gay
1435
01:51:28,719 --> 01:51:31,520
son
1436
01:51:31,520 --> 01:51:35,400
why because it goes against God's laws I
1437
01:51:35,400 --> 01:51:36,840
am your
1438
01:51:36,840 --> 01:51:40,520
child I am your
1439
01:51:43,440 --> 01:51:47,400
son I live to make you proud I have
1440
01:51:47,400 --> 01:51:49,760
manufactured my entire life to please
1441
01:51:49,760 --> 01:51:53,480
you because I love you
1442
01:51:53,480 --> 01:51:56,799
because I'm proud of my
1443
01:52:00,199 --> 01:52:04,360
father you're breaking my heart
1444
01:52:05,119 --> 01:52:09,440
Dad please don't walk away from
1445
01:52:09,760 --> 01:52:14,119
me because I can't do this without
1446
01:52:14,599 --> 01:52:17,360
you you taught me to tell the truth no
1447
01:52:17,360 --> 01:52:20,440
matter what and I'm finally doing that
1448
01:52:20,440 --> 01:52:24,199
and you don't like it
1449
01:52:24,239 --> 01:52:27,159
but I am doing exactly what you taught
1450
01:52:27,159 --> 01:52:29,519
me to
1451
01:52:47,480 --> 01:52:50,560
do I just want you to have a good
1452
01:52:50,560 --> 01:52:54,440
life and I don't want you to
1453
01:52:55,520 --> 01:52:58,079
struggle all I've ever wanted is to make
1454
01:52:58,079 --> 01:53:00,880
life easy for
1455
01:53:01,159 --> 01:53:05,520
you this I can't help you with
1456
01:53:05,520 --> 01:53:09,599
this I'm going to be okay
1457
01:53:11,040 --> 01:53:14,920
Dad everything is going to
1458
01:53:15,119 --> 01:53:18,199
change but I promise you I'm going to be
1459
01:53:18,199 --> 01:53:21,199
okay
1460
01:53:26,520 --> 01:53:36,380
[Laughter]
1461
01:53:44,160 --> 01:53:50,679
[Music]
1462
01:53:50,679 --> 01:53:53,560
after the anniversary dinner
1463
01:53:53,560 --> 01:53:56,000
the last thing I expected was a letter
1464
01:53:56,000 --> 01:53:57,880
from
1465
01:53:57,880 --> 01:54:00,599
Chris he said many
1466
01:54:00,599 --> 01:54:03,360
things but what stood out to me was
1467
01:54:03,360 --> 01:54:04,199
three
1468
01:54:04,199 --> 01:54:08,598
words see the I forgive
1469
01:54:09,040 --> 01:54:13,040
you you see I left Salt Lake trying to
1470
01:54:13,040 --> 01:54:15,560
convince myself that never seeing him
1471
01:54:15,560 --> 01:54:17,880
again was for the
1472
01:54:17,880 --> 01:54:20,040
best but in my
1473
01:54:20,040 --> 01:54:23,119
heart I know it's not an issue of if
1474
01:54:23,119 --> 01:54:25,799
I'll see him
1475
01:54:27,199 --> 01:54:31,480
again but when
1476
01:54:34,440 --> 01:55:51,119
[Music]
1477
01:55:51,119 --> 01:55:52,870
o
1478
01:55:52,870 --> 01:55:58,620
[Music]
1479
01:56:01,950 --> 01:56:51,239
[Music]
1480
01:56:51,239 --> 01:56:54,630
o oh
1481
01:56:54,630 --> 01:57:22,480
[Music]
1482
01:57:22,480 --> 01:57:24,590
oh
1483
01:57:24,590 --> 01:57:30,380
[Music]
97091
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