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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,305 --> 00:00:05,438 . 2 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,140 - Previously on "Grosse Pointe Garden Society"... 3 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,543 - I guess I wasn't around much. - But you are now. 4 00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,679 - So what do you got? - Some real dirt on Brett. 5 00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:14,114 - What'd he do? - Your wife. 6 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:17,317 - Ought to give it to you, man. Really underestimated you. 7 00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:20,220 - How far along are you? - Please don't tell him. 8 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,489 - You do not want to be alone with me right now. 9 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,757 [lock clicks] 10 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,891 - When Patty was a weather girl, 11 00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:26,126 she worked with Skip Harding. 12 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,328 - Was he the one who sexually harassed her? 13 00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,897 - More mutual. - As long as you have a dog, 14 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,065 I'll never have a grandchild. 15 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,233 - She got rid of Gail. 16 00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:35,235 Maybe she also got rid of Molly. 17 00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:36,269 - You still have the gun, right? 18 00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:37,737 Then all we need is Tucker 19 00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:40,140 to call his old FBI buddies, and they'll run tests. 20 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,409 [both grunting] - Knock it off! 21 00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:44,144 - He's in love with my wife, Dad. 22 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:47,213 [suspenseful music] 23 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:52,318 - [vocalizing] 24 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,288 [Destroyer's "Hydroplaning Off the Edge of the World"] 25 00:00:55,355 --> 00:01:01,528 * * 26 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,930 - Marilyn has got a lot of nerve. 27 00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:05,799 - It's not that bad. 28 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,367 - Table 13? 29 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,302 - We don't know where that is. 30 00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:10,804 - Look, this isn't the first time 31 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:12,238 she's pulled a stunt like this. 32 00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,908 Remember our table at Smiles for Miles? 33 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:16,009 - They had to send a search party 34 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,143 to refill our bread basket. 35 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,212 - Exactly, exactly. 36 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:23,683 Oh, hey, what about these, huh? 37 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:24,718 - They're neon. 38 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,419 - Well yeah, but this is what's hip now. 39 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,121 - Our rave days are over, woman. 40 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,622 - Stop. [laughs] 41 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,324 Look, all I'm saying is, our daughter-in-law 42 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,892 is on the gala committee. 43 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,361 We deserve better than steerage. 44 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,196 - We'll be on the dance floor anyway. 45 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,931 - Oh, with that back of yours? 46 00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:39,065 No, I don't think so. 47 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,934 - Doesn't matter where you sit, my dear. 48 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:44,237 It's that you can afford to be there. 49 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,539 - I wish that were enough. 50 00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,975 This is Grosse Pointe. 51 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,678 Oh, hey, what about those? 52 00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:52,912 Look. 53 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,848 [mysterious music] 54 00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,017 Dougie has these. 55 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:59,753 - Old school. - Yeah, but I love them. 56 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,122 - You should try them on. 57 00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:03,623 - Maybe I will. 58 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,259 Let's see if they have them in women's. 59 00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:08,528 Do you-- - Absolutely. Be right there. 60 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:17,971 - Stitching a quilt is like planting a garden. 61 00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:20,607 [light music] 62 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,009 Just like you pull out dead flowers 63 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,411 to birth new life, 64 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,480 pieces of discarded fabric come together 65 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:30,083 to create something beautiful. 66 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,718 But why waste your time planting 67 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,188 something that'll die when a quilt lasts forever? 68 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:38,391 [upbeat music] 69 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,060 * * 70 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,461 - Lose the succulents, Donna. 71 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,662 No, no, no, closer to the bar. 72 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,330 It's a fundraiser. Gotta keep people 73 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,799 good and drunk while they're gambling. 74 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:50,003 - [singing in French] 75 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,471 - Salad forks on the outside, please. 76 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:52,972 Thank you. 77 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:54,574 - Ooh, what the hell is Pet Jet? 78 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,242 - Private jet for your pet, silly. 79 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,078 - My ex-husband donated it. 80 00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,245 He's an investor. 81 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:00,914 - Um, people actually use this? 82 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,482 - Well, not as much as Pet Jet Vet, 83 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,918 where you can medevac your pet anywhere in the world 84 00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:06,119 to a concierge vet. 85 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,088 - Oh, that makes way more sense. 86 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,589 - You know, you should try and win that 87 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,825 for that new puppy of yours, Alice. 88 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:15,395 - Turns out our landlord isn't as dog-friendly as we hoped. 89 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,931 - You lost another fur baby? 90 00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:19,366 Oh, you poor thing. 91 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,368 - You've had way too much drama lately. 92 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:25,572 - Yeah, that is why tonight is going to be drama-free. 93 00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:27,107 - That's right, check your worries 94 00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:28,675 with your coats, bitches. 95 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,410 - And dance like nobody's watching. 96 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:33,046 - Uh, dance like everybody's watching. 97 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,347 [laughter] 98 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,750 - Here she is. 99 00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:38,985 - Oh, wow! - Oh, cool. 100 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,588 [light music] 101 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:42,455 - Amazing. 102 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,424 - Donna, get the steamer. 103 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,426 * * 104 00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:49,195 - So what are we looking at here, Doc? 105 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,097 - Cervix is nice and closed. 106 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,033 - Ah, perfect for the first trimester. 107 00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:54,601 - Will you get out of there? 108 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,536 - Well, it's not like I haven't seen it before. 109 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,371 - Eyes above the equator, sir. 110 00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,673 - Don't worry, Dad. 111 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,541 There'll be plenty of ways you can participate. 112 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,243 - [laughs] He's not the dad. 113 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:05,345 [phone ringing] 114 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,715 - Sorry, emergency. 115 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,749 Hi, Pam. 116 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:10,750 What I was wondering was, 117 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,153 if the hotel doesn't have a fitness center, 118 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,088 why am I flying out a trainer? 119 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:19,225 [laughs] 120 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:23,630 - So who's going to help you with the baby? 121 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,365 - My housekeeper. 122 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,766 - Oh, she works nights? 123 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,270 - There's literally nothing she won't do for money. 124 00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:33,473 - And where were you planning on delivery? 125 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,676 - Well, I did it in the girls' locker room first time. 126 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:40,547 So I'm open to any and all ideas. 127 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:45,151 - So how did we get here, Birdie? 128 00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:48,588 - [sighs] 129 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:52,926 OK, so you know when you're, like, rushing to lunch, 130 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,228 and you get in your car and you realize 131 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,696 you forgot your sunglasses. 132 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,799 And then you debate, do I go back inside and be late, 133 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,302 or do I just squint my way through the day 134 00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,637 and risk a few extra wrinkles? 135 00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:05,905 - Uh-huh. 136 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:11,444 - Now imagine the sunglasses are my birth control pills. 137 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,180 - Ah. 138 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:17,784 [heart beating] 139 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,220 - That sounds real. 140 00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:22,055 - It's about as real as it gets. 141 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:27,694 * * 142 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:31,097 I know this can all be overwhelming, 143 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:35,135 but I'm here, anything you need. 144 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:38,838 - Dr. Evans? 145 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:42,175 What am I supposed to do? 146 00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,110 - That one I can't help you with. 147 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:50,917 * * 148 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:57,123 - I should have never picked so many shellfish appetizers. 149 00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,526 - Babe, it's going to go great. Come on. 150 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,294 - I'm going to have Donna pick up some EpiPens. 151 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,363 - [laughs] [phone chimes] 152 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,198 - Oh, no, no, no! 153 00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:07,500 - Don't tell me they forgot the props for the photo booth. 154 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,235 - Julie has to leave by 10:00. 155 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,337 - OK, deep breaths. 156 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,939 I'll relieve the babysitter. 157 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:15,008 - I just-- 158 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,976 I want tonight to be perfect. 159 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,979 [mysterious music] 160 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,314 * * 161 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:22,749 What is it? 162 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:23,983 - Something that could make your night 163 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,118 a little less perfect. 164 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,221 * * 165 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,255 It's your friend's dog. 166 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:33,026 * * 167 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,361 - What if it's good news? 168 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,495 - What if it's bad? 169 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,130 - Maybe the bullet doesn't match. 170 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,131 - Or it does. 171 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,801 * * 172 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,938 - What do I do? - Let's not open it. 173 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:48,308 - But...I want to. 174 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,944 - [sighs] 175 00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,912 Personally, I'd rather gamble at the roulette wheel. 176 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:59,953 * * 177 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,126 [bell rings] 178 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,028 - Gotta give it to you, man. 179 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,963 Really underestimated you. 180 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,664 I got fired today. 181 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,900 - Just bring back the axe when you're done. 182 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,837 * * 183 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,439 What's up? 184 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:22,842 - I think we probably both know what's up. 185 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,512 - Uh, excuse me. 186 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,480 You guys still open? 187 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:31,017 - Uh, sorry, we're closed tonight for the garden gala. 188 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:35,121 - I'll come back tomorrow. 189 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,161 [bell rings, door clicks] 190 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:44,097 - So what do you want, an apology? 191 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,533 - You humiliated me in front of the entire firm. 192 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,168 - You tried to send me to jail. 193 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:49,736 - Now you're taking my wife too? 194 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,605 - So what, are you going to kill me? 195 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,853 - I'll just take your kids. 196 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,990 [bell rings] 197 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,860 [suspenseful music] 198 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:18,498 * * 199 00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:22,002 - Oh, we're the black Cadillac, second from front. 200 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,403 - Have a nice evening. 201 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,804 [Earth, Wind & Fire's "Boogie Wonderland"] 202 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,540 - * Dance * 203 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:30,977 * Boogie wonderland * 204 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,812 - Ooh, champagne. - Yes, please. 205 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,514 - Thank you. - Ooh, thank you. 206 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:37,250 - Howdy. - Hi. Good to see you. 207 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,585 [gasps] 208 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:41,721 How is Melanie Dalton at table nine? 209 00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,624 - Her husband makes all the car mats for the big three. 210 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,893 - Did he use the same material to make her dress? 211 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,063 - Oh, stop, that's bad. [chuckles] 212 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,931 Well, here we are. 213 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:52,966 Not so bad. 214 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,535 - But we're at table 13. 215 00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:56,870 - Not anymore. 216 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,873 * * 217 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,574 No one puts Patty in the corner. 218 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:04,177 - * Dance * 219 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,980 * Boogie wonderland * 220 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,715 - [laughs] 221 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,117 Well, now it's going to be a night to remember. 222 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:15,221 . 223 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,991 [upbeat music] 224 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:25,231 * * 225 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,501 - Brett. 226 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,470 - Oh, hey. 227 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,571 - I called you earlier to see 228 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:32,639 what time you were going to get here. 229 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:33,873 - Yeah, yeah, I've just been swamped 230 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,576 organizing this auction stuff. 231 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,379 - Hmm, three sessions with a certified life coach. 232 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,348 - Yeah, I guess that's all it takes 233 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,750 to get your life in order, huh? 234 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:45,118 - I might need a few more. 235 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:48,321 [both laugh] 236 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,989 - You look beautiful. 237 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,293 - You're not so bad yourself under all the dirt. 238 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,463 - Well, I still can't figure out the bow tie thing. 239 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,797 - Oh. 240 00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:01,935 * * 241 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,069 License to kill. 242 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,337 - Hmm. 243 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:09,209 * * 244 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,510 Melissa-- 245 00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,746 - Have you been thinking what I've been thinking? 246 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,981 - Well, it depends on what you've been thinking. 247 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,850 - Well, what have you been thinking? 248 00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:20,653 - I think... you should go first. 249 00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:24,991 - OK, um, mine's about a kiss. 250 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,763 I just-- 251 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:33,266 I don't know, it kind of felt like something more. 252 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:38,071 - Maybe 253 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,974 it was just nostalgia. 254 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,743 - OK, this is the part where you tell me that I'm crazy. 255 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,514 - I can't. 256 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,850 - Well, then put me out of my misery. 257 00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,719 - How? 258 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,821 - Just tell me how you feel. 259 00:10:57,257 --> 00:11:00,260 - Hey, hey, bud. Mind if I steal my wife back? 260 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,762 - Yeah, she's all yours. 261 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:05,298 - Let's find our table. 262 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,301 Ooh. 263 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,103 Can barely tell it's a rental. 264 00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:13,840 Shall we? - Mm-hmm. 265 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:17,344 - * Already know which way to go * 266 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,612 * All this magic in the air * 267 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,449 * Got me on another wave, oh * 268 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,817 [upbeat music] 269 00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:28,188 [laughter and chatter] 270 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,589 - Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 271 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:32,692 * * 272 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,195 Place your bets. 273 00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,731 - Why aren't you betting? 274 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,466 - I don't feel very lucky. 275 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,267 - I take great offense to that. 276 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,236 - How is this about you? 277 00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:46,639 - Find a more fabulous nanny this side of the pond. 278 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,508 - [chuckles] 279 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:51,044 [applause] 280 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:52,512 - This just isn't how I pictured 281 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,114 doing it as a grown up, OK? 282 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,984 - Doesn't that hot cop of yours have some skin in this game? 283 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,355 - I can't tell Joel. 284 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,457 - Not very woke of you. 285 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:05,658 - What if he doesn't want it? 286 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,427 - What if he does? 287 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,500 - Well, what if I don't? 288 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:18,004 - Then as soon as you plump up, we'll send you off to the farm. 289 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,473 - It's like I'm 16 all over again. 290 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,976 - At least you have more money. 291 00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:27,013 - Why does the universe keep doing this to me? 292 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:30,784 - Because it's your chance to get it right this time. 293 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:38,258 As long as we're bringing the universe into this... 294 00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:39,726 - Stop. 295 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,195 - Red, we do this together. 296 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,463 Black, farm. 297 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,831 - You're insane. 298 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:46,700 - [chuckles] - All betting's closed. 299 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,370 [wheel clicking] 300 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:54,107 * * 301 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,110 [Fine Young Cannibals' "She Drives Me Crazy"] 302 00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:02,415 * * 303 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,352 - Hey, that one of your wife's signature cocktails? 304 00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:06,753 - Yeah, the Riviera. 305 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,489 - Ah, barkeep, set me up with a Riviera. 306 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,257 [both laugh] 307 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:16,930 - * I can't stop the way I feel * 308 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,998 - It's none of my business, but I saw that dude 309 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,600 disrespecting you earlier. 310 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,735 - Who, Connor? 311 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,636 - Yeah, know him from the kids' school. 312 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,904 Not a fan. 313 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,874 - [scoffs] Can't help himself, I guess. 314 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,342 - You don't have to take it. 315 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,612 - Well, we have a complicated relationship. 316 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,348 - [scoffs] Seems simple to me. 317 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,017 - What do you mean? 318 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,451 - Let's just say I've dealt with a lot 319 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,053 of threats in my line of work. 320 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,788 - OK. - We're no different today 321 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:43,123 than when we lived in caves. 322 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,760 - I mean, we are drinking Rivieras. 323 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,561 [both laugh] 324 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,763 - They're growing on me. 325 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,533 [laughter] 326 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,870 I'm just saying, if someone had laid hands on me like that, 327 00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,773 they wouldn't find it so funny. 328 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,675 - Hey, Brett. 329 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,777 - Hey, look who finally showed up. 330 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,211 - Welcome to Club Riviera. 331 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,148 - [chuckles] Have you guys seen Doug? 332 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,549 - He didn't come with you? 333 00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:10,583 - No. 334 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,584 - She has your nose. 335 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:12,852 - Gary's eyes. 336 00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,254 - How has he been with everything? 337 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,856 - Amazing, OK? He does the night feeds. 338 00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,091 He cleans the bottles. 339 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,193 - Wow, that man owes you. 340 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:24,264 - Mm-hmm, which is why he has promised 341 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:28,001 to win me a quilt for our baby room. 342 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,403 - Well, you know, he's going to have some stiff competition. 343 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,805 - With who? 344 00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,306 - You know Patty's not going to just let that go. 345 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,975 - Why does she want it so bad, anyway? 346 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,310 - For her grandchild. 347 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,345 - [scoffs] 348 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,780 You mean her imaginary grandchild? 349 00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:43,249 - Amanda. - Come on. 350 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,852 She would make a horrible grandmother. 351 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,454 - Oh, stop. - What? 352 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,722 No one's in here. 353 00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,657 - That's so mean. 354 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,460 - I'm sorry, but she is so judgy 355 00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:56,029 and, like, totally insecure. 356 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,497 - She's always been nice to me. 357 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,032 - And she's always acting like 358 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,801 she is the queen of Grosse Pointe 359 00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:05,372 when she's not even from here. 360 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:06,506 - What? 361 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,742 - Grew up in Grosse Ile. 362 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:11,344 - Shut up. - Mm-hmm. 363 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:12,679 - Ew! 364 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,880 - Yeah. 365 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:17,717 [toilet flushing] 366 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:28,461 [water running] 367 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:48,515 - The only way you are getting that quilt 368 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,051 is over my dead body. 369 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:54,154 [suspenseful music] 370 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:58,024 * * 371 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,325 - Oh, my God. 372 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:08,668 . 373 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,403 - Donna! 374 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,475 The auction is about to start, and I have dry mouth. 375 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,643 - Mm-hmm. - Run to CVS. 376 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:17,911 Get me a Blow Pop. 377 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,713 You know the grape kind with the gum? 378 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,514 - Mm-hmm. 379 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:22,549 - What's in your mouth? 380 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,418 - [gulps] 381 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,821 Nothing. 382 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,656 - [sniffing] 383 00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:30,724 - Tell me I'm not smelling 384 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,659 a mushroom tart right now, Donna. 385 00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:34,060 - It was just one. 386 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,562 - Well, eat a prosciutto-wrapped asparagus. 387 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:36,596 No one wants those. 388 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:37,764 - Oh. 389 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,771 [crashing] 390 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:45,905 - Stop! 391 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,340 That's enough! Stop! 392 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,808 [shouting] 393 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,777 - Brett, stop! - Someone do something! 394 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:51,945 - My God, stop! 395 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,546 [shouting] 396 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,281 - Brett! 397 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,850 [shouting] 398 00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,051 - Help, help! 399 00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,619 - Hey, knock it off! 400 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,954 [suspenseful music] 401 00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,489 - Get off my son! 402 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:03,690 - Your son's a psycho! 403 00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,058 - Get the hell out of here. 404 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,993 - How could you? 405 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:10,964 * * 406 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:14,300 - Who knows you better, Alice, your husband or this joke? 407 00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:15,902 - I'll just take your kids. 408 00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:17,671 - I pick neither of you. 409 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,006 - If someone had laid hands on me like that, 410 00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,441 they wouldn't find it so funny. 411 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,909 - Just tell me how you feel. 412 00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:26,179 * * 413 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:31,084 - * We spotted the ocean * 414 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:35,088 * At the head of the trail * 415 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:39,492 * Where are we goin' * 416 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:42,929 * So far away? * 417 00:17:42,996 --> 00:17:47,133 * Somebody told me * 418 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,837 * This is the place * 419 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:54,874 * Where everything's better * 420 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:58,078 * And everything's safe * 421 00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,113 - What are you doing? 422 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,082 - Telling you how I feel. 423 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,918 [Toad the Wet Sprocket's "Walk on the Ocean"] 424 00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:10,657 * * 425 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:14,227 - * Walk on the ocean * 426 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:18,365 * Step on the stones * 427 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,768 * Flesh becomes water * 428 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:26,206 * Wood becomes bone * 429 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:29,976 * Walk on the ocean * 430 00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:33,813 * Step on the stones * 431 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:37,317 * Flesh becomes water * 432 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,786 - I'd recognize those curls anywhere. 433 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,222 * * 434 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,957 - Skip Harding? 435 00:18:44,024 --> 00:18:45,558 - WBIV's own. 436 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,127 - Wow, wow, wow! 437 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,328 - How long has it been? 438 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,362 - Gosh. 439 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:50,697 [laughs nervously] Forever. 440 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,265 - [chuckles] 441 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,234 Oh, my. - [laughs] 442 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,702 - Oops, you have a-- 443 00:18:55,769 --> 00:18:56,836 - What? Oh. 444 00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:58,972 Oh, no. Oh, gosh. 445 00:18:59,072 --> 00:19:00,573 - Looks like some dill from the endive. 446 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,476 - Mm, did I get it? 447 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:06,980 - Mm. Boy, do I miss that smile. 448 00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:09,749 - [chuckles] 449 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,085 - Place was never the same after you left. 450 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,954 - Yeah, well, it was a fun time. 451 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,823 - Oh, we had a lot of fun. 452 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,292 [both laugh] 453 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,362 - Well, that was another life. 454 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:24,931 - Would you ever think about coming back? 455 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,633 - Oh, at my age? - Why not? 456 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,501 - No, no, no, no, no. 457 00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:30,770 Not really built for it anymore. 458 00:19:30,804 --> 00:19:33,773 - Well, the Taj Mahal is 300 years old. 459 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:34,974 Once you get inside her, 460 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,376 it still takes your breath away. 461 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:38,878 - * Grow sweeter each season * 462 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,047 [both laugh] 463 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:43,616 - OK. 464 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,119 Well, I'm not exactly camera-ready. 465 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,188 - What does that got to do with getting coffee? 466 00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:51,224 - Mm. Why would I get coffee? 467 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,226 - Because you were the best assistant at the station. 468 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:59,099 - I was-- I was the weather girl, Skip. 469 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,934 - Are you sure? - I was on-air talent. 470 00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,268 - OK, OK, OK. 471 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:03,403 - I mean, don't you remember? 472 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,805 "And now back to you, Skip, for sports." 473 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,240 - Right. - Yeah, that was me. 474 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,575 - Mm-hmm. - Me! 475 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:12,145 - Of course. Of course. Yeah, I remember. 476 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,546 I remember. 477 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,383 But why did you keep bringing me coffee? 478 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:23,923 - Because I stupidly thought you'd appreciate it. 479 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,425 - OK, don't freak out. 480 00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:28,294 I appreciated everything you had to offer. 481 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,730 - * Were you lying all the time? * 482 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:34,167 - I told him no vermouth, but he added it anyway. 483 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,669 - This is my wife, Brianna. 484 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,637 [both laugh] 485 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,773 - * You know I'm such a fool for you * 486 00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:41,307 - You haven't changed a bit. 487 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,776 [The Cranberries' "Linger"] 488 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:48,181 - * You got me wrapped around your finger * 489 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,984 * Do you have to let it linger? * 490 00:20:51,051 --> 00:20:52,118 * Do you have to? * 491 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,586 * Do you have to? * 492 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:57,590 * Do you have to let it linger? * 493 00:20:57,657 --> 00:21:03,263 * Oh, I thought the world of you * 494 00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,964 - I put Dougie in an Uber. 495 00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,399 - Thank you. 496 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,735 - * I thought nothing could go wrong * 497 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,170 * But I was wrong * 498 00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:11,371 - He's going up to the lake house 499 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:12,872 to cool his head. 500 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:15,442 - That's a great idea. 501 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,243 - I might meet him there tomorrow. 502 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:22,749 * * 503 00:21:22,816 --> 00:21:25,218 - Is that it? 504 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:28,521 - All right, everyone, it's the moment 505 00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:30,123 you've all been waiting for! 506 00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:31,291 - One more thing. 507 00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:32,525 [cheers and applause] 508 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:35,428 - Let's raise some money to make our garden 509 00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:37,263 really bloom this spring. 510 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,299 What do you say? 511 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:40,834 - Let's go win you that quilt. 512 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,770 [cheering] 513 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:45,271 - Here. 514 00:21:45,338 --> 00:21:46,873 - What is it? 515 00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:49,342 - Medicine. 516 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:51,511 - Marilyn's going to have a stroke. 517 00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,513 - How many cups did we lose? 518 00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:56,683 - Basically 82 through 93. 519 00:21:56,750 --> 00:22:00,353 - I just--I have never seen either of them like this. 520 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,390 - OK, this isn't my most feminist moment, 521 00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:08,161 but two guys fighting over you is kind of hot. 522 00:22:08,228 --> 00:22:12,365 - Oh, OK, that was about way more than you. 523 00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:15,802 - Also, we are fully ignoring the fact 524 00:22:15,869 --> 00:22:18,204 that our little lady here just got herself 525 00:22:18,271 --> 00:22:20,173 a ticket to New York. 526 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,609 - Yeah. Oh, my God. 527 00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:24,944 How many magazines have rejected you over the years? 528 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:27,814 - Oh, I've lost track. 529 00:22:27,881 --> 00:22:31,785 - Alice, you just got your dream job. 530 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:34,154 [melancholy music] 531 00:22:34,254 --> 00:22:36,189 - This night couldn't get any worse. 532 00:22:36,289 --> 00:22:40,326 [door clicks] 533 00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:43,229 - Babe, I've got it. 534 00:22:43,296 --> 00:22:45,131 We should brand these. 535 00:22:45,165 --> 00:22:47,467 Like the Real Housewives, yeah? 536 00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,502 - How many of these have you had? 537 00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:52,105 - Well, you know-- 538 00:22:52,172 --> 00:22:53,773 what the hell's going on? 539 00:22:53,807 --> 00:22:56,976 - Oh, you know, Alice's husband just went full ham. 540 00:22:57,077 --> 00:22:58,445 - Yeah. - Oh. 541 00:22:58,545 --> 00:22:59,813 Thought you weren't going to tell them. 542 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:05,251 - Tell us what? 543 00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:07,554 - Oops. - Nothing. 544 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:10,090 - Well, it doesn't sound like nothing. 545 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,963 What did you not tell us? 546 00:23:17,030 --> 00:23:18,932 - Not now, Alice. 547 00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:20,500 - [scoffs] 548 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:26,272 You got the results? 549 00:23:26,373 --> 00:23:28,408 - Oh, no. 550 00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:30,310 - Honey, this isn't-- 551 00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,345 - Did Patty do it? 552 00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:34,147 - It's too much for tonight. 553 00:23:34,214 --> 00:23:37,851 [suspenseful music] 554 00:23:37,951 --> 00:23:39,719 - Just say it. 555 00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:43,957 * * 556 00:23:44,024 --> 00:23:47,360 - Up next, we have a lovely vacation rental in Charlevoix 557 00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:51,064 with a ski package for four at Boyne Mountain, 558 00:23:51,131 --> 00:23:53,900 plus dinner at Tap 30. - Hey. 559 00:23:53,967 --> 00:23:55,368 - So let's start the bidding at $1,500. 560 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,536 - Brett! 561 00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:57,737 - I really want to make this right. 562 00:23:57,771 --> 00:23:58,838 - Not the best time. - OK, Steven, 563 00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,306 get that vacay for your wife. 564 00:24:00,340 --> 00:24:01,775 - I don't know what happened. 565 00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:02,876 - Brett! 566 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:03,943 - I lost control. 567 00:24:04,044 --> 00:24:05,478 - She's good, bro. 568 00:24:05,545 --> 00:24:08,248 - Part of me was, like, defending you. 569 00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:10,383 - Sit down, Brett. 570 00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:12,052 - Going three times. Sold! 571 00:24:12,152 --> 00:24:15,221 [applause] 572 00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:21,194 And now the piรจce de rรฉsistance. 573 00:24:21,261 --> 00:24:24,197 Do I hear 2,500? 574 00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:26,733 Keep in mind, this isn't any old blanket, folks. 575 00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:30,036 Each of these squares depicts 576 00:24:30,103 --> 00:24:32,806 a little piece of Grosse Pointe history. 577 00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:36,576 Ah, 2,500 for Amanda Mills. 578 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:37,577 Thank you, Amanda Mills. 579 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,312 Do I hear 3,000? 580 00:24:39,379 --> 00:24:40,380 [phone chimes] 581 00:24:40,447 --> 00:24:41,481 - Can I go higher? 582 00:24:41,548 --> 00:24:43,616 - Sure. 583 00:24:45,218 --> 00:24:46,586 - 3,000. OK. 584 00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:48,822 We are just getting started here, folks. 585 00:24:48,855 --> 00:24:50,790 Who wants to take it up a notch? 586 00:24:50,857 --> 00:24:52,459 Hank, Hank, I'm looking at you. 587 00:24:52,559 --> 00:24:54,594 Your wife's face is telling me that you do. 588 00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:56,129 There you go, 3,000. 589 00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:58,832 Do I hear 3,500? 590 00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:03,036 OK, put a little sizzle on that steak, 591 00:25:03,103 --> 00:25:05,372 which was donated tonight by Village Market. 592 00:25:05,438 --> 00:25:07,474 Thank you, Village. 4,000? 593 00:25:07,574 --> 00:25:10,410 Ooh, OK, there you go. Hot, hot, hot. 594 00:25:10,443 --> 00:25:12,579 Do I hear 4,500? 595 00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:15,615 4,500, you know what's next. 5,000. 596 00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:17,017 Do I hear 5,000? 597 00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:20,320 [Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's "Requiem"] 598 00:25:20,420 --> 00:25:23,490 [muffled auctioneer chatter] 599 00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:30,697 * * 600 00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:45,145 [gavel bangs] 601 00:25:45,245 --> 00:25:52,218 * * 602 00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:57,123 [cheers and applause] 603 00:25:57,223 --> 00:26:04,130 * * 604 00:26:07,467 --> 00:26:09,302 - That bitch killed my dog. 605 00:26:09,369 --> 00:26:12,339 [cheers and applause] 606 00:26:18,611 --> 00:26:18,812 . 607 00:26:18,878 --> 00:26:20,880 - Sorry, ma'am, that's not your car. 608 00:26:21,548 --> 00:26:23,083 - Well, what is taking so long? 609 00:26:23,149 --> 00:26:26,019 - We're really backed up. 610 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,355 [suspenseful music] 611 00:26:28,388 --> 00:26:29,689 - What the hell are you doing? 612 00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:31,024 - We gotta talk, lady. 613 00:26:31,091 --> 00:26:33,526 [phone chimes] - I know. I need to get home. 614 00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:36,196 - Yours is coming. 615 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:37,764 - Well, tell them to hurry up. 616 00:26:37,831 --> 00:26:41,001 It's an emergency! 617 00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:42,602 [phone chimes] 618 00:26:42,669 --> 00:26:44,437 [locks click] 619 00:26:44,537 --> 00:26:46,573 - What are you doing? 620 00:26:46,639 --> 00:26:48,241 - Going for a ride. 621 00:26:48,308 --> 00:26:51,478 [tires screeching] 622 00:26:51,544 --> 00:26:53,613 - Will you please chill? 623 00:26:53,713 --> 00:26:55,615 - Oh, 'cause you're with child now? 624 00:26:55,682 --> 00:26:57,183 [engine revving] 625 00:26:57,317 --> 00:26:59,085 - OK, let me out. 626 00:26:59,152 --> 00:27:01,755 - What happened to women lifting up other women? 627 00:27:01,821 --> 00:27:04,290 - That's just something women like to say to other women. 628 00:27:04,357 --> 00:27:07,594 [tires squealing] Jesus! 629 00:27:07,694 --> 00:27:10,196 OK, OK, you're totally right. 630 00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:11,931 I don't deserve Joel, and I don't deserve Ford. 631 00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:14,534 - You take and take and take! 632 00:27:14,601 --> 00:27:16,236 - And I don't deserve another kid, OK? 633 00:27:16,269 --> 00:27:17,771 [brakes screeching] 634 00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:20,273 [breathing heavily] 635 00:27:27,714 --> 00:27:28,915 - So what are you going to do? 636 00:27:31,518 --> 00:27:33,286 - Not try to be a mom again. 637 00:27:37,991 --> 00:27:39,025 - Get out. 638 00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:44,898 [phone chimes] 639 00:27:52,572 --> 00:27:54,541 - Thank God. 640 00:27:54,641 --> 00:27:56,443 - Sorry, ma'am, this isn't your car. 641 00:28:07,454 --> 00:28:09,055 - Did you enjoy yourself tonight? 642 00:28:09,122 --> 00:28:10,657 - It's cool we won those tickets 643 00:28:10,724 --> 00:28:12,759 to the "Starlight Express" revival. 644 00:28:12,859 --> 00:28:15,395 - I meant, did you enjoy making a jackass out of me? 645 00:28:20,367 --> 00:28:22,535 - It was just a dance, Connor. 646 00:28:22,635 --> 00:28:24,170 - Didn't dance with me. 647 00:28:24,270 --> 00:28:28,141 - [sighs] 648 00:28:28,241 --> 00:28:30,410 Am I not supposed to have a relationship 649 00:28:30,477 --> 00:28:31,544 with my ex-husband? 650 00:28:31,644 --> 00:28:33,079 - You're not supposed to kiss him! 651 00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:38,952 - Don't know what you're talking about. 652 00:28:39,019 --> 00:28:40,987 - Come on, Mel. - Why would I-- 653 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:42,222 - I saw you. 654 00:28:42,288 --> 00:28:45,191 [tense music] 655 00:28:45,258 --> 00:28:47,560 * * 656 00:28:47,594 --> 00:28:49,362 - How? 657 00:28:49,429 --> 00:28:50,397 - Put a PI on him. 658 00:28:50,497 --> 00:28:52,732 - For what? 659 00:28:52,799 --> 00:28:55,535 - For custody, for us. 660 00:28:55,669 --> 00:28:58,405 - God. 661 00:28:58,471 --> 00:29:01,441 Brett was right all along. 662 00:29:01,541 --> 00:29:02,709 - I did what I had to do. 663 00:29:02,809 --> 00:29:04,277 - Yeah, for you. 664 00:29:06,913 --> 00:29:08,148 - What do you want from me, Melissa? 665 00:29:08,214 --> 00:29:11,151 - For you to decide what's more important, 666 00:29:11,217 --> 00:29:13,753 your family or winning some pissing contest 667 00:29:13,787 --> 00:29:15,221 with my ex-husband. 668 00:29:15,288 --> 00:29:18,191 * * 669 00:29:18,224 --> 00:29:19,492 [scoffs] 670 00:29:19,592 --> 00:29:22,529 * * 671 00:29:22,595 --> 00:29:24,731 - I'm going to a hotel. 672 00:29:24,864 --> 00:29:26,866 - For how long? 673 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:29,669 - Until you decide who you want to dance with. 674 00:29:29,736 --> 00:29:35,742 * * 675 00:29:35,809 --> 00:29:39,512 - She's a total monster. 676 00:29:39,646 --> 00:29:41,781 She didn't just shoot her. 677 00:29:41,848 --> 00:29:46,152 She dragged her to a park and left her there. 678 00:29:46,219 --> 00:29:48,788 - Psycho I get, but this is next level. 679 00:29:48,888 --> 00:29:49,789 - She can't get away with this. 680 00:29:49,856 --> 00:29:51,224 - Well, she already did. 681 00:29:51,324 --> 00:29:52,459 - What can we do to her? 682 00:29:52,525 --> 00:29:54,427 - Something awful. 683 00:29:54,461 --> 00:29:57,230 - Mm! Let's egg her house. 684 00:29:59,966 --> 00:30:02,902 - I'm not sure that has the same emotional punch. 685 00:30:02,969 --> 00:30:04,971 - Takes the paint right off. 686 00:30:05,071 --> 00:30:06,639 - Someone should sleep with her husband. 687 00:30:06,706 --> 00:30:09,009 [laughter] - Wait, Keith? 688 00:30:09,042 --> 00:30:11,344 - We film it, make it go viral. 689 00:30:11,378 --> 00:30:14,214 She can never show her face in Grosse Pointe ever again. 690 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,684 - Mm, trust me, this town loves a scandal. 691 00:30:17,717 --> 00:30:19,352 - It's worth a try. 692 00:30:19,419 --> 00:30:20,887 - It's not enough. 693 00:30:20,987 --> 00:30:24,991 She took away the thing I love most in the world. 694 00:30:25,025 --> 00:30:28,061 [suspenseful music] 695 00:30:28,128 --> 00:30:34,567 * * 696 00:30:34,668 --> 00:30:36,569 We're going to do the same to her. 697 00:30:36,670 --> 00:30:41,941 * * 698 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:47,480 . 699 00:30:47,514 --> 00:30:49,149 - Ow. 700 00:30:49,416 --> 00:30:51,685 [sighs] 701 00:30:51,751 --> 00:30:52,986 What are you doing? 702 00:30:53,053 --> 00:30:55,422 - Making a quesadilla. 703 00:30:55,488 --> 00:30:56,890 - At this hour? 704 00:30:56,956 --> 00:30:58,658 - I'm starving. 705 00:30:58,692 --> 00:31:01,127 - Dr. Rubenstein said the late-night eating is doing 706 00:31:01,161 --> 00:31:02,529 a number on your cholesterol. 707 00:31:02,595 --> 00:31:04,864 - Hey, get off my cheese, woman. 708 00:31:04,931 --> 00:31:07,000 [sighs] 709 00:31:07,067 --> 00:31:09,869 - How about a nightcap? 710 00:31:09,936 --> 00:31:11,838 - What's that going to do to my cholesterol? 711 00:31:11,905 --> 00:31:13,707 - I meant make me one. 712 00:31:13,740 --> 00:31:15,642 - [chuckles] 713 00:31:17,677 --> 00:31:21,481 [phones chiming] 714 00:31:21,548 --> 00:31:23,483 - [sighs] 715 00:31:23,550 --> 00:31:26,453 - It was a crazy night. 716 00:31:26,519 --> 00:31:28,755 - I'm just glad you finally got to see 717 00:31:28,822 --> 00:31:30,323 what she's been doing to our son. 718 00:31:30,390 --> 00:31:31,925 - No wonder Dougie's been so moody. 719 00:31:31,991 --> 00:31:34,961 - Yeah, I barely recognize him. 720 00:31:35,028 --> 00:31:38,698 - Broken heart can change a man. 721 00:31:38,765 --> 00:31:41,668 - You know, she's affecting all of us. 722 00:31:41,701 --> 00:31:43,269 - Definitely stress we don't need. 723 00:31:43,370 --> 00:31:47,507 - And I just--I don't like the person I've become. 724 00:31:48,641 --> 00:31:51,778 - Is that why you were flirting with Skip Harding tonight? 725 00:31:51,845 --> 00:31:54,781 [suspenseful music] 726 00:31:54,848 --> 00:31:59,619 * * 727 00:31:59,686 --> 00:32:00,954 - [giggling] 728 00:32:01,054 --> 00:32:02,389 I'm the gala chair. 729 00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:05,125 No one can know I had anything to do with this. 730 00:32:05,191 --> 00:32:08,194 - Ooh, we should rip out all the stitches! 731 00:32:08,261 --> 00:32:09,662 [laughter] 732 00:32:09,729 --> 00:32:11,498 - Oh! 733 00:32:11,598 --> 00:32:15,568 - OK, not that I'm endorsing destroying an auction item, 734 00:32:15,635 --> 00:32:20,740 but what if we fold it up and cut it into a pattern? 735 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,809 - [laughs] - Ooh, like paper dolls! 736 00:32:22,876 --> 00:32:25,111 - Oh, Addie loves those. 737 00:32:25,178 --> 00:32:28,348 - Guys, we're trying to prank a bitch, not do crafts. 738 00:32:28,448 --> 00:32:32,252 - Yeah, why are you guys thinking so small, huh? 739 00:32:32,318 --> 00:32:33,653 Ah. 740 00:32:35,055 --> 00:32:38,191 [scraping] 741 00:32:39,759 --> 00:32:41,094 Expand your horizons. 742 00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:42,862 - Is that what I think it is? 743 00:32:42,896 --> 00:32:45,365 - Whatever it is, I already like it. 744 00:32:45,465 --> 00:32:48,702 - Yeah, 15 horses of gas-powered destruction. 745 00:32:48,802 --> 00:32:50,103 [laughter] 746 00:32:50,203 --> 00:32:52,572 - Ooh, let's chip this quilt like an elm, baby! 747 00:32:52,639 --> 00:32:54,274 [all cheering] 748 00:32:54,341 --> 00:32:57,177 Not that I have anything to do with this. 749 00:32:57,277 --> 00:32:58,745 - Uh-huh. 750 00:32:58,812 --> 00:33:00,413 [engine chugging] 751 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,649 - Wait, hold up. Hold up. Don't start it yet. 752 00:33:02,716 --> 00:33:06,419 What's the point if she's not even here to see it happen? 753 00:33:06,519 --> 00:33:07,987 * * 754 00:33:08,054 --> 00:33:09,589 - Mm. Quilts in the woods. 755 00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:10,824 - Why don't you just text her? 756 00:33:10,890 --> 00:33:12,092 - Oh, Lord. 757 00:33:12,158 --> 00:33:13,827 - Ooh, I like that idea. 758 00:33:13,927 --> 00:33:16,363 - Come on, what do you say? Text her. 759 00:33:16,429 --> 00:33:19,232 both: Text her. Text her. Text her. 760 00:33:19,265 --> 00:33:20,433 - I should go home. 761 00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:23,303 both: Text her. Text her! Text her! 762 00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:24,871 - Tucker's going to wonder where I am. 763 00:33:24,938 --> 00:33:27,073 both: Text her! Text her! 764 00:33:27,107 --> 00:33:29,476 [laughter] 765 00:33:29,542 --> 00:33:30,810 - Yeah. 766 00:33:30,877 --> 00:33:34,280 [laughter] 767 00:33:34,314 --> 00:33:35,982 - It's on all of us now. 768 00:33:36,016 --> 00:33:38,318 - Yeah! [all cheering] 769 00:33:40,954 --> 00:33:43,623 - Gotta admit, he still looks good. 770 00:33:43,690 --> 00:33:46,993 - Ugh, I wasn't flirting. 771 00:33:47,060 --> 00:33:48,962 - Very glossy. 772 00:33:49,062 --> 00:33:52,999 - Well, that kind of gloss takes a village. 773 00:33:53,033 --> 00:33:56,436 [laughing] Of surgeons. 774 00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:58,672 - Do you ever think about him? 775 00:33:58,738 --> 00:34:03,043 - Yeah, yeah, I think he needs to leave his face alone now. 776 00:34:03,076 --> 00:34:05,412 - You know what I mean, Patty. 777 00:34:05,478 --> 00:34:08,148 - He already can't blink his eyes all the way shut. 778 00:34:10,950 --> 00:34:13,219 - Do you regret choosing me? 779 00:34:17,824 --> 00:34:21,161 - How can you ask me that after all we've been through? 780 00:34:21,227 --> 00:34:22,429 - It's just... 781 00:34:26,099 --> 00:34:28,101 Sometimes I think 782 00:34:28,168 --> 00:34:30,570 about the life you could have had without me. 783 00:34:30,670 --> 00:34:33,173 - Oh, honey, you've had too much to drink. 784 00:34:35,375 --> 00:34:37,444 - That's not an answer, Patty. 785 00:34:41,881 --> 00:34:44,784 [soft music] 786 00:34:44,884 --> 00:34:50,390 * * 787 00:34:50,490 --> 00:34:54,094 - Do you know why I loved sitting at that table tonight? 788 00:34:54,194 --> 00:34:57,564 - All of Grosse Pointe could see you win that quilt. 789 00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:00,066 * * 790 00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:02,769 - Because I was sitting next to you. 791 00:35:02,802 --> 00:35:09,776 * * 792 00:35:11,411 --> 00:35:13,580 - That's my favorite place to be. 793 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:20,553 * * 794 00:35:20,653 --> 00:35:24,157 - Thanks for letting me spend so much money on my quilt. 795 00:35:24,224 --> 00:35:28,228 - Well, after everything that's happened, 796 00:35:28,294 --> 00:35:30,730 I'm not sure if it's going to end up in the nursery. 797 00:35:30,797 --> 00:35:32,932 * * 798 00:35:32,966 --> 00:35:35,335 - And I had a feeling it wasn't. 799 00:35:35,402 --> 00:35:38,071 - Then why'd you work on it so hard if... 800 00:35:38,171 --> 00:35:39,739 it wasn't for our grandchild? 801 00:35:39,806 --> 00:35:46,780 * * 802 00:35:50,950 --> 00:35:52,719 - All that love had to go somewhere. 803 00:35:52,819 --> 00:35:59,726 * * 804 00:36:05,265 --> 00:36:06,766 - You know what? - Hmm? 805 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,737 - When I get back from the cabin with Dougie, 806 00:36:10,804 --> 00:36:14,040 let's go away somewhere. 807 00:36:14,074 --> 00:36:16,476 - Remember the Alaska cruise? 808 00:36:16,543 --> 00:36:18,645 [both laugh] 809 00:36:18,745 --> 00:36:20,413 Remember? 810 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,616 - Oh, what I would give to be smoking a joint on a glacier 811 00:36:23,683 --> 00:36:25,051 with you right now. 812 00:36:25,151 --> 00:36:28,388 * * 813 00:36:28,455 --> 00:36:30,457 - Wherever we go, I'm not flying coach. 814 00:36:30,523 --> 00:36:33,293 - [laughs] 815 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:34,928 I know, my dear. 816 00:36:35,028 --> 00:36:38,565 * * 817 00:36:38,631 --> 00:36:41,534 [phone dinging] 818 00:36:41,601 --> 00:36:43,636 * * 819 00:36:43,703 --> 00:36:47,507 [dramatic music] 820 00:36:47,607 --> 00:36:49,743 - It might work better if we cut this thing into strips. 821 00:36:49,809 --> 00:36:51,544 - Won't have to do anything if she doesn't text you back. 822 00:36:51,644 --> 00:36:53,146 - This fabric could jam it up. 823 00:36:53,246 --> 00:36:55,215 - Why isn't she responding? 824 00:36:55,315 --> 00:36:59,152 - Because it's late, and we should all go home. 825 00:36:59,219 --> 00:37:00,587 - Hmm. 826 00:37:00,653 --> 00:37:05,458 - OK, OK, let's take the wood chipper to her house. 827 00:37:05,558 --> 00:37:08,294 And then we fire it up and we wake up 828 00:37:08,395 --> 00:37:09,696 the whole goddamn neighborhood 829 00:37:09,763 --> 00:37:13,366 and shoot the quilt all over her face! 830 00:37:13,466 --> 00:37:15,802 - Wait, guys, come on. Let's get a grip here. 831 00:37:15,835 --> 00:37:17,337 - I mean, it does attach to the truck. 832 00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:18,805 - Hey, I'm game. 833 00:37:18,872 --> 00:37:19,973 - [screams] 834 00:37:20,073 --> 00:37:22,108 [laughter] 835 00:37:22,142 --> 00:37:24,644 - OK, all right. - Oh-ho-ho. 836 00:37:24,711 --> 00:37:25,712 [laughter] 837 00:37:25,779 --> 00:37:27,914 - [vocalizing] 838 00:37:27,947 --> 00:37:34,921 * * 839 00:37:39,125 --> 00:37:43,096 [breathing heavily] 840 00:37:43,163 --> 00:37:44,597 - Alice, stop! 841 00:37:44,664 --> 00:37:46,066 - Keith? 842 00:37:46,132 --> 00:37:47,434 - Oh, my God. - Uh... 843 00:37:49,202 --> 00:37:51,137 - What the hell are you doing? 844 00:37:51,237 --> 00:37:58,411 * * 845 00:38:03,583 --> 00:38:03,783 . 846 00:38:03,817 --> 00:38:06,786 [wind howling] 847 00:38:10,323 --> 00:38:11,758 - Why are you here? 848 00:38:11,858 --> 00:38:14,127 - Oh, believe me, I wish I was back in my kitchen 849 00:38:14,227 --> 00:38:15,962 housing a quesadilla. 850 00:38:15,995 --> 00:38:17,864 - Keith, this isn't your problem. 851 00:38:17,964 --> 00:38:19,966 - When you rage-text my wife in the middle of the night, 852 00:38:20,066 --> 00:38:20,900 I'm going to get activated. 853 00:38:21,001 --> 00:38:22,335 - Just go home. 854 00:38:24,571 --> 00:38:26,740 - Fine. Give me the quilt. 855 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:27,907 - No. 856 00:38:28,008 --> 00:38:28,975 - It's Patty's. 857 00:38:31,211 --> 00:38:32,579 - She can't have it. 858 00:38:32,679 --> 00:38:35,882 - They did technically Venmo payment already. 859 00:38:35,982 --> 00:38:37,617 - Why? 860 00:38:37,717 --> 00:38:38,918 - Karma. 861 00:38:39,019 --> 00:38:41,654 - What is wrong with you? 862 00:38:41,688 --> 00:38:43,089 - Your wife. 863 00:38:43,156 --> 00:38:45,025 - Tell him, Alice. 864 00:38:45,091 --> 00:38:47,293 - She's gone way above and beyond 865 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:48,728 to make you a part of our family. 866 00:38:48,795 --> 00:38:50,296 - Alice, tell him. 867 00:38:50,330 --> 00:38:52,365 - She's been kind and welcoming and supportive. 868 00:38:52,399 --> 00:38:54,100 - She murdered Molly. 869 00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:55,301 - What? 870 00:38:55,402 --> 00:38:58,538 [suspenseful music] 871 00:38:58,638 --> 00:39:00,573 * * 872 00:39:00,674 --> 00:39:02,542 You've all lost your goddamn minds. 873 00:39:02,575 --> 00:39:04,477 - Just get out of here, mister. 874 00:39:04,577 --> 00:39:05,912 - Give it to me. - No! 875 00:39:05,979 --> 00:39:07,914 - No, you don't want to do that, buddy. 876 00:39:08,014 --> 00:39:09,349 - Oh, perfect. 877 00:39:09,449 --> 00:39:11,117 Boy, Patty had one thing right. 878 00:39:11,151 --> 00:39:13,520 My son can do way better than you. 879 00:39:13,620 --> 00:39:14,888 - Me? 880 00:39:14,954 --> 00:39:18,391 - You go out of your way to embarrass yourself. 881 00:39:18,458 --> 00:39:21,061 - Doug can do way better than you guys. 882 00:39:21,127 --> 00:39:22,462 - You don't belong in our family. 883 00:39:22,529 --> 00:39:24,064 - And believe me, when I tell him 884 00:39:24,164 --> 00:39:27,434 what she did to a beautiful, sweet, defenseless animal-- 885 00:39:27,534 --> 00:39:29,703 - You don't even belong in Grosse Pointe. 886 00:39:29,803 --> 00:39:31,738 - [gasps] 887 00:39:37,544 --> 00:39:38,812 You're right. 888 00:39:41,815 --> 00:39:43,083 * * 889 00:39:43,183 --> 00:39:44,250 [engine revving] 890 00:39:44,317 --> 00:39:45,251 - No, don't you dare. 891 00:39:45,352 --> 00:39:46,953 - Watch me. - Stop it, Alice! 892 00:39:47,053 --> 00:39:49,656 - OK, look, this train has left the station already, OK? 893 00:39:49,723 --> 00:39:51,257 - Let it happen, dude. It's going to happen. 894 00:39:51,358 --> 00:39:52,926 - No, no. 895 00:39:52,992 --> 00:39:54,828 - Hey, hey, out of my way! 896 00:39:54,861 --> 00:39:56,830 - No! - Move! 897 00:39:56,930 --> 00:39:59,099 [both screaming] 898 00:39:59,165 --> 00:40:01,501 - Keith, let go! 899 00:40:01,568 --> 00:40:03,103 - Dude, don't be stupid! - Stop it! 900 00:40:03,169 --> 00:40:04,504 - Oh, my God, Keith! 901 00:40:04,604 --> 00:40:05,772 Keith, you're going to lose an arm! 902 00:40:05,839 --> 00:40:08,108 - Come on! - What are you doing? 903 00:40:08,208 --> 00:40:09,442 Stop! 904 00:40:11,111 --> 00:40:12,278 [sighs] 905 00:40:12,312 --> 00:40:14,414 - Oh, my God. 906 00:40:14,481 --> 00:40:16,282 [engine roars] - No! 907 00:40:16,383 --> 00:40:17,951 - Let go! 908 00:40:18,018 --> 00:40:20,053 Let go! [fabric tears] 909 00:40:20,086 --> 00:40:23,723 - [breathing heavily] 910 00:40:25,091 --> 00:40:27,160 [all sighing] 911 00:40:27,193 --> 00:40:28,661 - What is-- 912 00:40:28,728 --> 00:40:31,631 [Timber Timbre's "I am Coming to Paris (To Kill You)"] 913 00:40:31,731 --> 00:40:35,502 * * 914 00:40:35,568 --> 00:40:38,505 - Every garden begins with a single seed, 915 00:40:38,571 --> 00:40:41,574 just like every quilt begins with a single square. 916 00:40:41,641 --> 00:40:45,311 - * I am coming to Paris to kill you * 917 00:40:45,412 --> 00:40:49,616 * * 918 00:40:49,683 --> 00:40:52,519 * I have even booked my flight * 919 00:40:52,585 --> 00:40:54,654 - Every flower has its own occasion. 920 00:40:54,721 --> 00:40:57,457 And each square has its own story to tell. 921 00:40:57,524 --> 00:41:02,028 - * I am coming to Paris to kill you * 922 00:41:02,062 --> 00:41:05,298 - At first, you can't see how one goes with the other. 923 00:41:05,331 --> 00:41:08,068 - * I am coming to take your life * 924 00:41:08,168 --> 00:41:11,805 * * 925 00:41:11,871 --> 00:41:14,207 - But when the last flower blooms 926 00:41:14,307 --> 00:41:16,476 and the last square is sewn... 927 00:41:16,543 --> 00:41:18,645 - * And it takes a little time * 928 00:41:18,678 --> 00:41:24,084 * But you'll feel better about most of these things * 929 00:41:24,184 --> 00:41:25,785 * * 930 00:41:25,852 --> 00:41:28,121 * Oh, it takes a little time * 931 00:41:28,221 --> 00:41:31,858 * But you'll feel better about most of these things * 932 00:41:31,925 --> 00:41:33,793 - [gasps] 933 00:41:33,860 --> 00:41:37,097 - The big picture finally becomes clear. 934 00:41:37,197 --> 00:41:38,998 * * 935 00:41:39,099 --> 00:41:42,836 - * I am coming to Paris to kill you * 936 00:41:42,936 --> 00:41:46,539 * * 937 00:41:46,639 --> 00:41:49,275 * I am coming * 938 00:41:49,342 --> 00:41:52,212 * * 939 00:41:52,245 --> 00:41:54,147 * To take your life * 62298

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