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1
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[intro music]
2
00:00:07,061 --> 00:00:10,820
[Frank] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express.
3
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,420
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
4
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:16,421
they were given by him upstairs.
5
00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:20,140
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:21,460
-Wicked!
-Piss off!
7
00:00:21,541 --> 00:00:25,460
What sounds on Earth
could ever replace
8
00:00:25,541 --> 00:00:29,061
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
9
00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:32,421
'Cos this, people reckon, me included,
10
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,301
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
11
00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:37,941
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
12
00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:43,701
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
13
00:00:43,781 --> 00:00:49,821
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
14
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,701
You shit on our head,
but... you pay the taxes.
15
00:00:53,781 --> 00:00:55,181
[cheering]
16
00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:58,620
[Frank] Imagine Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers.
17
00:00:58,701 --> 00:01:01,260
Who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer, eh?
18
00:01:01,341 --> 00:01:02,341
Eh!
19
00:01:02,421 --> 00:01:04,900
Make poverty history.
20
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:09,661
Cheaper drugs now!
Make poverty history!
21
00:01:09,741 --> 00:01:11,621
Cheaper drugs now!
22
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,060
[chuckles] Scatter!
23
00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:17,021
Party!
24
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:24,140
[Liam] Affairs of the heart
are troublesome to adults.
25
00:01:25,301 --> 00:01:27,860
They're complex,
and carry lots of baggage.
26
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And consequences. Big and small.
27
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Will you fucking lie at peace?
28
00:01:33,821 --> 00:01:37,741
It's the one area of life where adults
get to behave irrationally.
29
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Like kids on a sugar rush.
30
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Tears and tantrums,
falling out and not speaking.
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Secrets and lies.
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Makes you wonder whether it's worth it,
33
00:01:49,821 --> 00:01:51,901
if it wouldn't it be better
to stay on your own?
34
00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:56,261
Be a priest,
or a Trappist monk or something?
35
00:01:57,461 --> 00:01:59,381
Live apart from society?
36
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:04,381
If only there was a superior being
l could believe in.
37
00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:12,621
Where's Liam?
38
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He's gonna be late. Liam!
39
00:02:15,661 --> 00:02:17,741
Oh, don't get up, I'll fix his toast!
40
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:20,501
Hello! Have you seen the size of me?
41
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[footsteps]
42
00:02:21,861 --> 00:02:24,421
-You didn't wake me!
-Got a study day.
43
00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:27,621
[Monica laughs]
44
00:02:27,701 --> 00:02:31,100
My God, he looks like a refugee
from the 1980s!
45
00:02:31,181 --> 00:02:33,741
-[Monica laughing]
-There's nothing wrong with him.
46
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,661
Well, the fashion police
might beg to differ, Debbie!
47
00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:38,100
Why's she laughing?
48
00:02:38,181 --> 00:02:41,941
Because her hormones have affected
her brain. Go and get your bag.
49
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:47,621
Scar him for life, sending him into school
with trousers like that!
50
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,820
They're gonna have to do him
till the end of term,
51
00:02:49,901 --> 00:02:52,061
unless you have a contribution to make.
52
00:02:52,141 --> 00:02:56,021
Oh, l forgot, he's my job,
just like everything else round here.
53
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,861
Developing a victim complex,
are we, Debbie?
54
00:02:58,941 --> 00:02:59,741
I'm knackered.
55
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:02,540
Try sleeping
next to the heffalump over there.
56
00:03:02,621 --> 00:03:05,621
-Then see how knackered you are.
-I'm cooking a baby.
57
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:08,421
Which forces you to kick the fuck
out of me in my sleep?
58
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:10,621
Wake me up for dinner.
59
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,901
Christ, more meat
on a butcher's pencil, Carl.
60
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:14,181
I've got no clean shirts.
61
00:03:14,901 --> 00:03:17,021
Come on, Debs,
I'm seeing Tracey Kelvin later.
62
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,141
We've got two possibilities, then,
haven't we?
63
00:03:19,221 --> 00:03:22,021
Either I've washed, dried and ironed them
64
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:24,061
and hid them somewhere
so you can't find them,
65
00:03:24,141 --> 00:03:27,700
or alternatively, since you should be
able to get off your arse
66
00:03:27,781 --> 00:03:31,181
and wash your own shirts by now,
it's still in the washing basket.
67
00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:32,781
Which do you think it is?
68
00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:37,781
Well, if you didn't stay up
half the night texting your mates,
69
00:03:37,861 --> 00:03:40,181
you might not be so tetchy of a morning!
70
00:03:41,181 --> 00:03:42,901
So did she wash the shirts or not?
71
00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:56,700
[Mimi] Jocks, l hate them.
72
00:03:56,781 --> 00:03:59,901
How come the filth are all over us
like a rash? What have we done?
73
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:02,461
Fuck all! Somebody's
feeding them information.
74
00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:04,901
[Mimi] Shortbread, what's that about?
75
00:04:04,980 --> 00:04:07,980
Biggest score in six fucking months,
76
00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:11,140
and we couldn't shift a vitamin C tablet
if there was a plague of rickets.
77
00:04:11,221 --> 00:04:13,621
You reckon it's the Jocks
selling them round pubs?
78
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:17,060
l know it's those tight-fisted,
skirt-wearing,
79
00:04:17,141 --> 00:04:19,901
Braveheart-watching Scottish fuckers!
80
00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:22,941
Anonymous phone tips
to Inspector Plod. Hm!
81
00:04:24,341 --> 00:04:26,101
They've no morals up there.
82
00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:29,021
That's why we kicked them
out of Ireland in the sixth century.
83
00:04:29,101 --> 00:04:30,981
Not like they've got a sell-by-date.
84
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Pills.
85
00:04:32,301 --> 00:04:35,661
All of our petty cash is tied up
in those pills, you skid mark.
86
00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:41,141
-We are stony fucking broke!
-[Mimi] Braveheart, me arse!
87
00:04:41,221 --> 00:04:44,661
Your mother's in there, cooking,
like it's going out of fashion!
88
00:04:45,901 --> 00:04:49,060
...useless fucking, grassing,
haggis-eating Scottish...
89
00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:53,661
It wouldn't be a plague of rickets.
It'd be a plague of crickets.
90
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:58,341
Like that bloke Jimmy out of Pinocchio.
One with the top hat.
91
00:04:58,421 --> 00:05:00,141
Pigs have just nicked our Mandy.
92
00:05:00,221 --> 00:05:01,901
-She's got Katie with her.
-What for?
93
00:05:01,981 --> 00:05:03,701
Haven't got a clue. Two minutes ago.
94
00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:05,781
Mam, the cops have nicked our Mandy.
95
00:05:05,861 --> 00:05:08,740
-[All plead] Micky! No!
-[Mimi] Bastards!
96
00:05:08,821 --> 00:05:10,221
-[liquid pouring]
-[clattering]
97
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:14,861
It burns.
98
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,341
l think that's upside down.
99
00:05:22,701 --> 00:05:23,861
What the fuck?
100
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,180
-Anything?
-You?
101
00:05:26,381 --> 00:05:28,620
Didn't stop her shining
a torch up my crack.
102
00:05:28,701 --> 00:05:31,541
Believe me, some sights
are better left unseen.
103
00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:32,701
[Tom] Oh, that's gross!
104
00:05:32,781 --> 00:05:35,221
-[Carrie] Uh! Rank!
-[Tom] Hasn't she got a nappy on?
105
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:38,901
-CSl Chatsworth here wanted to inspect it.
-Another feast for the eyes.
106
00:05:38,981 --> 00:05:41,740
-Well, you should get one on her before...
-l haven't got a spare.
107
00:05:41,821 --> 00:05:43,620
l was only popping down the shop.
108
00:05:43,701 --> 00:05:47,060
-We'll give you a hand putting it--
-Don't bother. Quicker if l do it myself.
109
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Stay there, Katie. Good girl.
110
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I'm sorry about this. We got a tip-off.
111
00:05:57,981 --> 00:06:01,581
Get better information, then.
It's fucking harassment. She's soaked.
112
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:07,421
Hey, you dropped...
113
00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:14,180
[door opens]
114
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Oh, my baby! How is he?
115
00:06:21,861 --> 00:06:22,861
Arrgh!
116
00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:27,180
Eh, not even third-degree burns.
I've had worse off Swan Vestas.
117
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,581
Gotta keep this cream on,
stop it blistering.
118
00:06:29,661 --> 00:06:31,301
-Because he's worth it.
-Shut it, you!
119
00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:33,701
Have some consideration, Shane.
120
00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:37,740
Wasn't me that threw a pan
of pasta of sauce over him.
121
00:06:37,820 --> 00:06:40,820
And what's that supposed to mean?
You calling me a bad mother?
122
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Mimi.
123
00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:43,901
'Mimi'! What?
124
00:06:43,981 --> 00:06:45,901
He was having a go, weren't you?
125
00:06:46,861 --> 00:06:47,940
Wasn't he?
126
00:06:58,701 --> 00:07:01,701
-[Mandy] God's sake. Fucking coppers.
-Don't let them get to you.
127
00:07:01,781 --> 00:07:04,101
Sitting there all morning.
She gets a rash,
128
00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,021
-I'm making a complaint.
-All right!
129
00:07:06,101 --> 00:07:09,421
-I'm on your side, remember?
-l know.
130
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,500
Sorry.
131
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,461
Oh, shit.
132
00:07:31,861 --> 00:07:33,221
Is this what you're looking for?
133
00:07:35,101 --> 00:07:37,301
You must have dropped it
when you stripped the buggy.
134
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:39,541
This is a private letter.
135
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:41,981
l didn't know it was important.
136
00:07:43,341 --> 00:07:45,781
You lot searched me daughter
and stuck fingers up my arse.
137
00:07:45,861 --> 00:07:48,141
Think l was gonna run after you
and deliver your mail?
138
00:07:51,341 --> 00:07:52,380
I'm sorry.
139
00:08:05,341 --> 00:08:06,421
You all right?
140
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,820
[sobbing]
141
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,781
She were only your birth mother.
142
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:17,301
Your real mum's the one
who brought you up.
143
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:19,940
l was brought up in a care home,
there is no real mum.
144
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,661
-She was it.
-You've been looking for her a long time?
145
00:08:24,221 --> 00:08:25,581
Two years.
146
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,380
l was gonna start earlier,
but everyone said,
147
00:08:29,461 --> 00:08:32,820
'Wait till you're older,
till you know your own mind'.
148
00:08:32,901 --> 00:08:34,861
Now, she's fucking dead!
149
00:08:36,781 --> 00:08:38,301
You're not gonna give up?
150
00:08:38,381 --> 00:08:41,940
Her children,
they're your brothers and sisters.
151
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,261
Half.
152
00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:46,421
Half-brothers and one sister.
153
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:51,141
Now apparently, I'm an "unfortunate
mistake from my mother's youth,
154
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:55,061
and shouldn't tarnish her good name
by forcing myself upon the family".
155
00:08:55,141 --> 00:08:58,301
They've had a shock.
Mother's not six weeks dead,
156
00:08:58,381 --> 00:09:00,021
and a son crawls out of the woodwork.
157
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,021
You could be a gold-digger,
for all they know.
158
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,181
[scoffs] Thanks a bunch.
159
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:09,381
I'd better get back inside.
160
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,381
You can't go in like that.
161
00:09:13,181 --> 00:09:14,581
Your eyes are all puffy.
162
00:09:15,381 --> 00:09:16,460
Here.
163
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,980
How old was she when she had you?
164
00:09:24,061 --> 00:09:28,781
Seventeen. Good Catholic family,
sent her off to Ireland to have the baby,
165
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,741
get it adopted, spare the family shame.
166
00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:35,661
Did you know she was from the north-west?
Is that why you came over?
167
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,301
Hadn't a clue.
168
00:09:38,181 --> 00:09:40,701
Believe me,
it's a shock to think you're Irish,
169
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:43,061
then find out it's English blood
in your veins.
170
00:09:43,901 --> 00:09:46,421
Chip on my shoulder's totally confused!
171
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,021
l just don't get it.
172
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:54,821
l mean, you're a mother.
How could you give away your own baby?
173
00:09:54,901 --> 00:09:58,421
That's a bit of a bloke's attitude,
if you don't mind my saying.
174
00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:00,621
l was 15 when l fell pregnant with Katie.
175
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,421
Hardest thing I've ever done.
176
00:10:03,501 --> 00:10:07,301
People say they'll support you,
but they don't really.
177
00:10:07,381 --> 00:10:09,421
Nappy-changing and buying vests, yeah.
178
00:10:10,381 --> 00:10:11,701
But in the important stuff,
179
00:10:11,781 --> 00:10:14,860
in the dark hours,
when you think you're the worst mum ever,
180
00:10:14,941 --> 00:10:17,061
you resent her
because she's changed everything,
181
00:10:17,141 --> 00:10:20,621
forced you to be old before your time,
there's moments
182
00:10:20,701 --> 00:10:22,941
you'd flog her on eBay
for a bottle of cider.
183
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,980
So do you wish you hadn't had her?
184
00:10:26,061 --> 00:10:27,701
Are you mental?
185
00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:31,421
She's the most beautiful thing
that's ever happened to me.
186
00:10:32,261 --> 00:10:34,741
The only beautiful thing
that's ever happened to me.
187
00:10:39,141 --> 00:10:41,581
How could l do that to my own baby?
188
00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:46,460
You lost your temper,
everybody does sometimes.
189
00:10:48,261 --> 00:10:50,661
It's like the deed's done
before me brain's had time
190
00:10:50,741 --> 00:10:52,661
to process the thought.
191
00:10:52,741 --> 00:10:54,220
Bothers me.
192
00:10:54,301 --> 00:10:56,100
Then let's do something about it.
193
00:10:58,661 --> 00:11:00,501
Nobody's allowed to bother my angel.
194
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,261
Not... even... you.
195
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:06,901
Done.
196
00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:15,901
Listen, thanks for taking the time.
197
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,340
Had a gap in my schedule.
198
00:11:18,181 --> 00:11:21,821
Besides, your eyes don't look like you've
gone 12 rounds with Ricky Hatton now.
199
00:11:23,261 --> 00:11:25,220
I'm really sorry l opened your letter.
200
00:11:25,301 --> 00:11:26,980
Yeah, yeah.
201
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,340
Funny, but... well, I'm not.
202
00:11:33,141 --> 00:11:34,381
I'll see you.
203
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:42,141
[Ian] A copper?
204
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:46,501
Shh. l felt sorry for him.
Seems like a nice bloke.
205
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,781
[laughs]
What is it with you and men in uniform?
206
00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:49,980
Shut up!
207
00:11:53,181 --> 00:11:54,100
You gonna ask him out?
208
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,460
No.
209
00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:57,740
How would that look, anyway?
210
00:11:57,821 --> 00:12:00,421
A Maguire and a police officer
off down the pictures?
211
00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:01,781
You're finding excuses.
212
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:06,781
l feel as if me radar's broke...
after Lip, and then Dex.
213
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,220
l don't know what to think.
214
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:11,381
l don't wanna make an arse of myself.
215
00:12:12,141 --> 00:12:13,220
Test the water, then.
216
00:12:13,301 --> 00:12:14,541
How?
217
00:12:14,621 --> 00:12:18,581
Well, you've got the world's best buffer
in there. Take her with.
218
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,781
-Can't find me trou--
-Here.
219
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,860
Try them.
220
00:12:28,301 --> 00:12:31,181
They look worse.
You can see the turn-up a mile off!
221
00:12:31,261 --> 00:12:32,860
Well, I'll iron them, then.
222
00:12:32,941 --> 00:12:37,181
-Why can't l wear them like before?
-Because you can't, that's all.
223
00:12:39,181 --> 00:12:40,381
There we go.
224
00:12:44,661 --> 00:12:45,860
Are we poor?
225
00:12:47,821 --> 00:12:48,821
What made you ask that?
226
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:49,901
Nothing.
227
00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:54,460
Just... Some of the kids at school said.
228
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:58,701
We do all right.
We're not any poorer than anyone else.
229
00:12:59,381 --> 00:13:02,340
And it doesn't matter
what other people say, OK?
230
00:13:02,421 --> 00:13:03,421
l know.
231
00:13:05,821 --> 00:13:08,620
Come on, Tracey! It's just a date!
232
00:13:09,381 --> 00:13:10,781
All right, Carl?
233
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,301
Here he comes, the great unwashed.
234
00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:25,421
l need...
235
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,661
l need... advice.
236
00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:31,220
It's about...
237
00:13:31,301 --> 00:13:32,340
sex.
238
00:13:36,501 --> 00:13:39,141
Right, I'm seeing this girl,
Tracey Kelvin,
239
00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:42,860
-and she's dead experienced.
-You've popped your cherry, though?
240
00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:44,421
Of course l have, but...
241
00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,061
she knows stuff.
242
00:13:46,141 --> 00:13:47,581
Loads of stuff.
243
00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:50,941
You've had older women.
Didn't they teach you?
244
00:13:51,021 --> 00:13:53,021
Yeah, but they always did stuff to me.
245
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,100
Tracey expects me to do stuff to her.
246
00:13:58,661 --> 00:14:01,340
So you want me to teach you foreplay?
247
00:14:02,061 --> 00:14:03,061
What's that?
248
00:14:07,661 --> 00:14:10,261
[Man] l was so angry,
l went out to the garage and snapped...
249
00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:12,661
[Woman] Every time l drink.
I've run out of excuses...
250
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:14,740
[Man] ...a slag, to her face.
My P45 arrived...
251
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:18,061
[Man] Full volume, day and night.
l threw his stereo out the window...
252
00:14:18,141 --> 00:14:19,061
[Man] Mimi?
253
00:14:21,941 --> 00:14:23,220
Do you have anything to share?
254
00:14:30,781 --> 00:14:34,261
Well, there was the time
l hit my husband with my shoe...
255
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,100
a good six-inch heel.
256
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,941
He'd come in seven sheets to the wind
every night that week,
257
00:14:42,021 --> 00:14:43,740
and the kids were only small.
258
00:14:46,901 --> 00:14:49,100
l kept them on deliberate.
259
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:50,781
Stilettos, like...
260
00:14:51,941 --> 00:14:55,220
So l took a knife and carved
my initials into his back,
261
00:14:55,301 --> 00:14:58,421
ten inches high,
while he was still tied up.
262
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,460
Next time one of my lads
hit a ball into his garden,
263
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:05,581
he handed it back double-quick,
that's for sure.
264
00:15:10,581 --> 00:15:12,381
Try taking a deep breath before you act...
265
00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:15,061
Brian, I've tried everything.
266
00:15:15,141 --> 00:15:18,141
I've tried counting to ten,
I've tried saying a prayer
267
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:19,421
to St Clare of Assisi.
268
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:23,821
l never get past three, and l always
end up going to confession after.
269
00:15:23,901 --> 00:15:25,901
There are other strategies.
270
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:27,901
Problem-solving,
271
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:30,661
better communication,
cognitive restructuring.
272
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:32,301
I'm not a hippy!
273
00:15:32,381 --> 00:15:38,100
I'm talking about empathising with people,
putting yourself in their shoes.
274
00:15:38,181 --> 00:15:40,460
I'll give you
some materials that might help.
275
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,301
Haven't you got immigrant labour
who do that for you?
276
00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:51,581
Filling my day with meaningless tasks!
277
00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,541
-Where you off to?
-Just out for a walk.
278
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:57,421
Have you phoned them?
279
00:15:58,661 --> 00:15:59,901
l don't see the point.
280
00:16:02,781 --> 00:16:04,380
Well, see you, then.
281
00:16:05,141 --> 00:16:06,581
Hey, wait!
282
00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:09,061
I'm due a break.
283
00:16:09,141 --> 00:16:10,860
Do you want to go to the park?
284
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,021
I'll spring for the ice-cream.
285
00:16:16,541 --> 00:16:17,500
All right.
286
00:16:20,581 --> 00:16:23,701
If you could have asked your mother
one question, what would it be?
287
00:16:23,781 --> 00:16:25,740
l couldn't ask her just one question.
288
00:16:25,821 --> 00:16:27,541
It would have to be a million, or none.
289
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,061
Like what?
290
00:16:29,141 --> 00:16:32,740
Like... is there a history
of heart attacks in the family?
291
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:36,340
Did she get the life she wanted
after she gave me up?
292
00:16:36,421 --> 00:16:37,821
Where did l get this nose?
293
00:16:38,541 --> 00:16:40,261
You could probably sue for the nose!
294
00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,500
It's just cruel to lumber a kid with that!
295
00:16:42,581 --> 00:16:43,421
[laughs]
296
00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:49,301
You've got to call them.
297
00:16:51,701 --> 00:16:52,740
l don't think so.
298
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:57,340
Another lesson you learn in care:
299
00:16:57,421 --> 00:16:59,421
you can't make people accept you.
300
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,141
[Both] Wheee!
301
00:17:04,781 --> 00:17:06,261
What's for tea, Mum?
302
00:17:06,340 --> 00:17:07,301
Home-made stew.
303
00:17:12,221 --> 00:17:13,261
There's nothing here.
304
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,501
That's because you haven't made it yet.
305
00:17:26,221 --> 00:17:27,981
[Carl] OK, what's my first lesson?
306
00:17:28,061 --> 00:17:29,861
So what do you normally do?
307
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:32,781
Shag them for as long as l can before...
308
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,341
Before, you know?
309
00:17:38,821 --> 00:17:42,221
-And that's it?
-No, l give them a bit of a rub first.
310
00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:45,381
l went six minutes, once: 324 pumps.
311
00:17:47,341 --> 00:17:49,101
You don't, like...
312
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,301
build up to it, like,
313
00:17:51,381 --> 00:17:54,341
-with her erogenous zones?
-Tits and fanny, yeah.
314
00:17:57,541 --> 00:17:59,781
This Tracey Kelvin better be worth it!
315
00:18:03,061 --> 00:18:04,420
[shouting and clattering]
316
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:07,461
[Micky] Get off me, you bastard!
Get off me!
317
00:18:22,221 --> 00:18:23,581
In!
318
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:29,061
Nobody died.
319
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:33,061
It would be irrational to get
overly upset about a ruined dinner.
320
00:18:33,141 --> 00:18:36,261
This is cognitive restructuring.
321
00:18:36,341 --> 00:18:40,900
We could attempt to problem-solve
the reasons why you two felt it necessary
322
00:18:40,981 --> 00:18:43,381
to batter the living shite
out of one another.
323
00:18:44,221 --> 00:18:49,180
What l think's required here
is some positive reinforcement.
324
00:18:50,061 --> 00:18:53,900
So... Shane, tell your brother
that you love him.
325
00:18:54,821 --> 00:18:55,940
Fuck off!
326
00:18:56,021 --> 00:18:58,900
Tell your brother you love him.
327
00:19:08,061 --> 00:19:09,541
[mumbles indistinctly]
328
00:19:12,781 --> 00:19:15,541
You're not trying
to poke a hole in a fence.
329
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,261
Like you're licking
a Bartletts pear half.
330
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:21,420
[Carl mumbles]
331
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:22,301
What?
332
00:19:22,381 --> 00:19:25,341
l said, how long have l gotta do it for?
My tongue's knackered.
333
00:19:26,461 --> 00:19:28,301
A bit, like, softer.
334
00:19:29,141 --> 00:19:31,461
[Man] Karen, I'm dying of thirst, here!
335
00:19:31,541 --> 00:19:34,341
-l wish l could help him, that's all.
-So help him.
336
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,700
Do something about it,
get on his good side.
337
00:19:36,781 --> 00:19:39,940
l can't, it's personal stuff.
l hardly even know him.
338
00:19:40,021 --> 00:19:42,381
Yeah, all right. Talk yourself out of it.
339
00:19:42,461 --> 00:19:45,981
God forbid you should meet a bloke
with a good job who's keen on you!
340
00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:47,621
l don't know that he's keen on me.
341
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:51,101
Yeah, fair point. Cops are always
taking me to the park for ice lollies!
342
00:19:53,301 --> 00:19:54,781
Pint and two Es, Karen.
343
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:58,821
Oh, you look like a chicken who's just
been told she's got to shit an egg!
344
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,981
[exhales] Here, you're a mother...
345
00:20:02,061 --> 00:20:02,940
No, I'm not.
346
00:20:03,021 --> 00:20:06,221
Well, yeah. Well, you know, you've got
all the raw materials, haven't you?
347
00:20:06,301 --> 00:20:10,781
Do you have a...?
Is there a nesting instinct in you,
348
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:13,261
makes you wanna kick
everyone else out of the homestead,
349
00:20:13,341 --> 00:20:17,021
-make room for your chicks?
-Oh, has Monica got the sweats?
350
00:20:17,101 --> 00:20:20,940
Oh, "the sweats"? The sweats?
Is that what you call it?
351
00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:23,581
Grievous bodily harm
in anyone else's language.
352
00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:26,501
-Well, you know what the answer is.
-What's that?
353
00:20:26,581 --> 00:20:28,781
Keep your pecker in your pants.
354
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:35,621
So l said to Bill Roache,
Ken Barlow, of course, l said, 'Billy!
355
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:38,621
You want to know
what side your bread's buttered!
356
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:41,101
Tie them into a long-term contract'.
357
00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:45,581
l said, 'So what if you're typecast?
You'll have a steady income.
358
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:47,940
Not many can say that'.
359
00:20:48,021 --> 00:20:49,981
-I'm knackered.
-If there was a book entitled,
360
00:20:50,061 --> 00:20:51,821
All Men Know About Women, it'd be empty.
361
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:55,101
She's gone completely off at deep end.
She's made us hug each other.
362
00:20:55,180 --> 00:20:56,700
Yeah, like we was poofs!
363
00:20:56,781 --> 00:20:58,940
l see you getting in touch
with your feminine side.
364
00:20:59,021 --> 00:21:02,420
Your mother has depths you've never
been exposed to. Give her credit.
365
00:21:02,501 --> 00:21:04,981
-But, Dad...
-l said, give her credit!
366
00:21:06,821 --> 00:21:12,221
-Trust me, she'll be able to help you out.
-Belle Carter? Are you having a laugh?
367
00:21:12,301 --> 00:21:15,341
She was an extra on Corrie
for about ten minutes 30 years ago.
368
00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:18,981
You'd think she was... fucking Hamlet
at the Royal Shakespeare!
369
00:21:19,061 --> 00:21:20,781
Get a better idea, have you?
370
00:21:20,861 --> 00:21:22,021
Have you?
371
00:21:22,101 --> 00:21:25,101
You said you wanted to help him,
and now's your chance.
372
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,861
Go on, she's waiting.
373
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:33,021
Go on!
374
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:34,461
All right.
375
00:21:40,461 --> 00:21:42,861
All right, Belle? Drinks are on me.
376
00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:43,821
Ooh!
377
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:48,061
That's very kind of you.
378
00:21:48,781 --> 00:21:52,301
Do you know, you remind me
a little of Pat Phoenix,
379
00:21:52,381 --> 00:21:56,420
Elsie Tanner, God rest her soul.
Of course, she was a redhead.
380
00:21:56,501 --> 00:21:59,460
'Never call me ginger',
she once said to me.
381
00:22:01,460 --> 00:22:03,101
Look, I've got a job for you.
382
00:22:04,460 --> 00:22:06,501
l want you to pretend to be someone.
383
00:22:06,581 --> 00:22:08,341
I'm trying to help a friend.
384
00:22:12,261 --> 00:22:13,341
Righty-ho.
385
00:22:13,420 --> 00:22:17,061
You get the drinks in,
and tell Belle all about the role.
386
00:22:17,141 --> 00:22:20,180
Oh, and gin, if you don't mind, this time.
387
00:22:20,261 --> 00:22:21,940
Protein power diet.
388
00:22:23,180 --> 00:22:24,180
Right.
389
00:22:31,221 --> 00:22:32,180
[sniffs]
390
00:22:32,821 --> 00:22:36,261
-What the fuck's that smell?
-Lavender. It's soothing.
391
00:22:37,861 --> 00:22:39,660
Smells like
the inside of a hooker's oxter.
392
00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:44,700
You said you'd support me, Paddy.
393
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,660
I'm trying to mellow.
394
00:22:46,741 --> 00:22:49,101
l... will, sweet pea...
395
00:22:49,861 --> 00:22:51,221
of course I'll support you.
396
00:22:51,981 --> 00:22:54,341
Good. l really think it's working.
397
00:22:56,061 --> 00:22:58,301
I've got some potpourri
drying in the kitchen.
398
00:23:06,021 --> 00:23:06,940
Water?
399
00:23:08,101 --> 00:23:08,981
Hey.
400
00:23:09,581 --> 00:23:11,700
Yeah. X-Factor!
401
00:23:15,541 --> 00:23:19,541
She says she's going home
to get inside the skin of the character.
402
00:23:19,621 --> 00:23:21,741
What, like Silence Of The Lambs?
403
00:23:21,821 --> 00:23:23,781
l wouldn't put it past her.
She's loopy enough.
404
00:23:24,460 --> 00:23:26,420
I'm meeting her tomorrow to give details.
405
00:23:26,501 --> 00:23:28,940
All this to get inside
some bizzy's boxers!
406
00:23:29,021 --> 00:23:31,301
-Like that's gonna happen!
-You never know.
407
00:23:31,381 --> 00:23:32,861
[Man] Pint, please, Ian.
408
00:23:32,940 --> 00:23:33,900
Yeah, mate.
409
00:23:52,021 --> 00:23:55,101
So l won't give you the full bag,
I'll give you a quarter.
410
00:23:55,180 --> 00:23:59,101
Keep your head clear. See if you can
patch it up with that nice girl of yours.
411
00:23:59,180 --> 00:23:59,981
Ta-ra.
412
00:24:04,381 --> 00:24:05,940
What was all that about?
413
00:24:06,021 --> 00:24:08,900
Young Felix is on the baccy
morning, noon and night.
414
00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:10,660
It's ruining his relationship.
415
00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:13,381
A bit less smoking
would do them both the world of good.
416
00:24:18,621 --> 00:24:19,420
Oh!
417
00:24:20,261 --> 00:24:22,141
-Dad, what are you doing?
-Oh...
418
00:24:23,781 --> 00:24:26,180
Why does everybody in this house
419
00:24:26,261 --> 00:24:30,261
see it as their duty
to physically abuse me?
420
00:24:30,341 --> 00:24:33,341
Listen, Dad, I'm worried about Liam.
421
00:24:33,420 --> 00:24:35,621
He thinks we're poor,
and he's getting teased.
422
00:24:36,581 --> 00:24:39,700
l am the one bearing the brunt, Deb.
423
00:24:39,781 --> 00:24:43,581
l mean, nobody thinks about fathers,
do they? We're just supposed
424
00:24:43,660 --> 00:24:48,781
to keep shtoom and just get on with it,
like Gary Cooper in High Noon.
425
00:24:48,861 --> 00:24:52,900
What about me, Deb? What about me?
426
00:24:52,981 --> 00:24:54,660
Hello, love.
427
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:57,581
Look...
428
00:24:57,660 --> 00:25:02,261
l think l made a mistake.
Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
429
00:25:03,061 --> 00:25:04,741
It's nothing personal, it's just...
430
00:25:05,501 --> 00:25:08,621
pretending to be best mates
with some dead woman you've never met
431
00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:10,141
is too much of an ask.
432
00:25:10,220 --> 00:25:11,460
Oh!
433
00:25:11,541 --> 00:25:15,021
You'd have loved Patricia
if you'd met her. Everybody did.
434
00:25:15,101 --> 00:25:19,861
-What?
-It broke her heart giving that baby away.
435
00:25:19,940 --> 00:25:22,700
But it was different days.
Her parents were religious.
436
00:25:22,781 --> 00:25:26,220
You did what your father said
or you were out.
437
00:25:26,301 --> 00:25:29,621
Never a day went by
when she didn't slink off for a quiet cry
438
00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:33,301
about her lad growing up in Ireland,
nobody belonging to him.
439
00:25:33,381 --> 00:25:35,940
Not that she looked for sympathy.
440
00:25:36,021 --> 00:25:39,301
No, there was just a sadness there,
441
00:25:39,381 --> 00:25:43,301
a guilt, you could say,
that she never quite shook off.
442
00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:57,301
This is everything l can remember
from the letter and stuff he said.
443
00:25:57,381 --> 00:25:58,501
Right oh.
444
00:25:58,581 --> 00:26:02,101
Oh, um... cider and black,
if you don't mind, love.
445
00:26:02,180 --> 00:26:03,581
l skipped breakfast.
446
00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:10,460
So?
447
00:26:11,940 --> 00:26:14,381
She was... fucking brilliant.
448
00:26:14,460 --> 00:26:17,301
-Nearly believed her myself.
-What did l tell you?
449
00:26:17,381 --> 00:26:21,061
Pint of lager and two Es,
and don't spare the horses.
450
00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:27,061
[mobile rings]
451
00:26:27,141 --> 00:26:28,501
Hello?
452
00:26:28,581 --> 00:26:30,700
Yeah, l can be there at 7.30.
453
00:26:31,861 --> 00:26:33,341
I've just got an errand to run.
454
00:26:34,821 --> 00:26:36,061
Everything all right?
455
00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:38,861
OK, see you then.
456
00:26:41,581 --> 00:26:43,781
It wasn't my fault.
457
00:26:43,861 --> 00:26:45,101
[whimpers]
458
00:26:46,381 --> 00:26:49,301
Since when do we invite junkies
into our house for tea?
459
00:26:49,381 --> 00:26:54,501
The lad's father ridiculed him
all through his teens because of his acne.
460
00:26:54,581 --> 00:26:56,381
I'm empathising, Patrick.
461
00:26:57,700 --> 00:27:01,381
Be with you in a minute, girls.
Terry's almost done.
462
00:27:01,460 --> 00:27:03,700
Are any of these spongers
actually buying anything?
463
00:27:03,781 --> 00:27:06,420
There's more to life than money, Patrick.
464
00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:08,501
You have to nurture the soul.
465
00:27:08,581 --> 00:27:11,381
The drugs are bad enough.
But now my own wife
466
00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:13,581
is trying to drive me into bankruptcy!
467
00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:15,381
I'll be back in a minute, love.
468
00:27:15,460 --> 00:27:18,261
Keep projecting positive thoughts.
469
00:27:18,341 --> 00:27:19,381
OK.
470
00:27:25,180 --> 00:27:26,861
Why are you being so hostile?
471
00:27:28,220 --> 00:27:30,460
Business is going down the shitter
472
00:27:30,541 --> 00:27:32,381
and you're turning
our most reliable punters
473
00:27:32,460 --> 00:27:34,420
into a bunch of fucking tree huggers!
474
00:27:34,501 --> 00:27:37,940
I'm doling out help and advice
alongside the gear.
475
00:27:38,021 --> 00:27:39,861
It's responsible selling.
476
00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:41,781
It's irresponsible, Mimi!
477
00:27:41,861 --> 00:27:44,821
It takes you a fucking hour
to shift a couple of pills!
478
00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:50,381
I'm a new woman.
l thought it's what everyone wanted.
479
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:53,981
If you don't like it,
then maybe we've got a problem.
480
00:27:56,821 --> 00:27:58,821
[Terry] It wasn't my fault.
481
00:27:58,900 --> 00:28:01,460
[Mimi] I'm with you now. OK?
482
00:28:02,501 --> 00:28:04,021
It wasn't my fault.
483
00:28:04,101 --> 00:28:05,781
It's all right. Deep breaths...
484
00:28:24,381 --> 00:28:26,261
Come on, Frank, you've had enough.
485
00:28:26,341 --> 00:28:29,101
He's only had two pints all afternoon.
He's just sleeping.
486
00:28:29,180 --> 00:28:31,581
Don't get me wrong,
l don't want a new fucking woman,
487
00:28:31,660 --> 00:28:33,301
l want the woman l married back.
488
00:28:33,381 --> 00:28:36,301
Some junkie was helping her
move furniture when l left.
489
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:39,460
Something about
energy flow and feng chewie.
490
00:28:39,541 --> 00:28:42,460
-She's lost the fucking plot.
-Don't talk about your mother like that.
491
00:28:42,541 --> 00:28:44,861
-You just said...
-That's different, I'm her husband.
492
00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:47,301
You're meant to worship her
while she's here
493
00:28:47,381 --> 00:28:50,900
and canonise her once she's passed away.
That's how it works in Irish families.
494
00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:53,501
l don't care how many herbal soaps
she puts in the bathroom.
495
00:28:53,581 --> 00:28:55,220
My Mimi is in there somewhere.
496
00:28:55,301 --> 00:28:58,141
We have to find a way
to provoke a response
497
00:28:58,220 --> 00:29:01,141
that'll snap her out of this
before it goes too far.
498
00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:04,301
You look great.
499
00:29:04,381 --> 00:29:07,900
Thank you, love. I'll pretend
l didn't notice the tone of surprise.
500
00:29:09,061 --> 00:29:10,781
So, where is the boy wonder?
501
00:29:10,861 --> 00:29:12,861
You said he'd be here at 7.30.
502
00:29:12,940 --> 00:29:15,541
He promised.
Something must have come up.
503
00:29:15,621 --> 00:29:17,940
Right, well, I'm going to powder my nose.
504
00:29:18,781 --> 00:29:22,541
-I have to stick strictly to the script?
-Yeah.
505
00:29:23,581 --> 00:29:26,061
G&T when you can, love.
506
00:29:26,141 --> 00:29:27,301
Oh!
507
00:29:27,381 --> 00:29:29,021
Christ! How long have l been here?
508
00:29:29,101 --> 00:29:30,381
Six hours.
509
00:29:31,101 --> 00:29:34,261
-How many pints have l had?
-That's just your second.
510
00:29:34,341 --> 00:29:36,261
Oh, right, that's fucking it!
511
00:29:36,980 --> 00:29:40,101
She's on the sofa tonight,
baby or no baby.
512
00:29:44,821 --> 00:29:46,621
Who says we're poor?
513
00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:49,980
-She bought them out of her own savings.
-l don't want new trousers!
514
00:29:50,061 --> 00:29:52,301
Don't worry, they weren't expensive.
515
00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:55,781
They probably
came from a sweat shop in Asia,
516
00:29:55,861 --> 00:29:58,741
10p a week,
no toilet breaks until October.
517
00:29:58,821 --> 00:30:02,420
-Hey! Don't be so ungrateful!
-Sorry, Debs. Thanks.
518
00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:05,660
It's OK, you don't need to thank me.
Right, I've got to go.
519
00:30:05,741 --> 00:30:07,501
Off out again?
520
00:30:12,220 --> 00:30:13,781
l could cut my toenails in her bed.
521
00:30:13,861 --> 00:30:15,460
She hates it when l do that.
522
00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:19,660
Why the fuck would you be in my bed?
523
00:30:20,741 --> 00:30:22,940
l could do an oil change
in the living room.
524
00:30:23,621 --> 00:30:27,180
She'd turn it into Zen And The Art
Of Motorcycle Fucking Cuddliness,
525
00:30:27,261 --> 00:30:29,101
put an incense stick in the oil
and burn it.
526
00:30:29,180 --> 00:30:31,141
You could wash her whites
with her coloureds.
527
00:30:32,220 --> 00:30:33,141
Ruin all her undies.
528
00:30:34,141 --> 00:30:37,420
l could hardly tell you where the washing
machine is, let alone how to work it.
529
00:30:37,501 --> 00:30:40,101
Karen doesn't make you do
the laundry, does she?
530
00:30:40,180 --> 00:30:42,460
Well, what's important to her?
531
00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:44,341
She's more likely to go off her dinger
532
00:30:44,420 --> 00:30:46,381
about something
that matters to her, isn't she?
533
00:30:48,261 --> 00:30:49,341
Isn't she?
534
00:30:51,501 --> 00:30:52,460
Family.
535
00:30:53,301 --> 00:30:56,660
-Meaning you, her little baby.
-What?
536
00:30:56,741 --> 00:30:58,141
Shane...
537
00:30:58,220 --> 00:31:00,141
kick the shit out of your brother.
538
00:31:00,220 --> 00:31:01,700
Not now!
539
00:31:02,460 --> 00:31:05,660
Pavlov's fucking dog! On the quiet.
540
00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:10,581
-Make it look like the Scots did it.
-How come he gets to do me?
541
00:31:10,660 --> 00:31:12,101
Unless you'd rather do it yourself.
542
00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:15,980
And what good's that going to do?
543
00:31:16,061 --> 00:31:18,781
To you, nothing, other than knowing
you're giving her pleasure.
544
00:31:18,861 --> 00:31:21,101
It's like an investment for the future.
545
00:31:21,180 --> 00:31:26,940
Tell me again about the ari--
The bit around the nipple.
546
00:31:27,021 --> 00:31:29,861
l have a life, Carl. l can't be
your round-the-clock sex counsellor.
547
00:31:29,940 --> 00:31:32,861
l wanna learn.
And you're really helping me.
548
00:31:33,781 --> 00:31:35,220
It's the areola.
549
00:31:35,301 --> 00:31:37,141
It's all these new words.
550
00:31:37,220 --> 00:31:40,821
I'm never gonna remember them.
Unless you show me.
551
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:42,021
I'm a married woman.
552
00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:43,861
l don't mean naked, with your clothes on.
553
00:31:45,621 --> 00:31:48,301
[Paddy] The dates,
when are they coming to Manchester?
554
00:31:48,381 --> 00:31:50,940
The bit around here. The dark bit.
555
00:31:51,021 --> 00:31:53,541
You don't just want
to plunge right in onto the nipple.
556
00:31:53,621 --> 00:31:55,420
You wanna build up to it.
557
00:31:55,501 --> 00:31:57,220
l know, but... erm...
558
00:31:58,061 --> 00:32:00,301
Just describe what needs to be done again.
559
00:32:00,381 --> 00:32:01,460
Later.
560
00:32:05,381 --> 00:32:09,621
Come on. Probably got a couscous salad
waiting for us, or something.
561
00:32:13,381 --> 00:32:14,501
I'm so sorry.
562
00:32:14,581 --> 00:32:15,980
We've been here two hours.
563
00:32:16,061 --> 00:32:17,781
l know, I'm sorry.
564
00:32:17,861 --> 00:32:19,581
Is this who you wanted me to meet?
565
00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:22,541
This is Belle.
She was a friend of your mother's.
566
00:32:22,621 --> 00:32:26,101
-What?
-[Slurs] We were like sisters, me and Pat.
567
00:32:26,180 --> 00:32:30,301
-In and out each other's houses.
-How did you...?
568
00:32:30,381 --> 00:32:33,141
l just put the feelers out.
Big Irish family, lots of cousins.
569
00:32:33,220 --> 00:32:36,541
When... How... did you know her?
570
00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:38,781
-l said to her only last week...
-Last year.
571
00:32:38,861 --> 00:32:42,581
Last year. l said,
'You should trace that boy of yours'.
572
00:32:42,660 --> 00:32:45,621
And she did, son, she started proceedings.
573
00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:49,021
Her fondest wish
to be re-nu-nited with you.
574
00:32:49,101 --> 00:32:51,980
She just couldn't hold on
long enough to see it through.
575
00:32:53,061 --> 00:32:54,460
She said this last year?
576
00:32:54,541 --> 00:32:55,940
Yup.
577
00:32:56,021 --> 00:32:58,021
-On a trip to Vegas.
-What?
578
00:32:58,101 --> 00:33:00,341
Yeah. She'd always wanted to go there.
579
00:33:00,420 --> 00:33:03,341
l performed there, of course,
when l had the legs for it.
580
00:33:03,420 --> 00:33:07,740
She was star-struck, your mum.
She wanted to see where Sinatra played,
581
00:33:07,821 --> 00:33:11,061
-Caesars Palace, MGM Grand.
-Maybe we should stick closer to home.
582
00:33:11,141 --> 00:33:12,581
If you must.
583
00:33:12,660 --> 00:33:14,781
What exactly do you want to know, son?
584
00:33:16,021 --> 00:33:17,781
When did you last see my mother?
585
00:33:18,460 --> 00:33:21,101
Couple of months ago. At the bingo.
586
00:33:21,180 --> 00:33:24,141
Gambling, see. The Vegas connection again.
587
00:33:24,220 --> 00:33:27,581
Hey, l tell you who liked to gamble.
Johnny Briggs.
588
00:33:27,660 --> 00:33:29,381
Mike Baldwin, of course.
589
00:33:30,141 --> 00:33:32,180
I've just come from my mother's house.
590
00:33:32,261 --> 00:33:33,061
What?
591
00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:35,541
Really? How is she?
592
00:33:35,621 --> 00:33:40,021
-l met with my half-brothers and sister.
-Oh, that must have been nice.
593
00:33:41,141 --> 00:33:44,581
My mother was in a coma
for the last two years of her life
594
00:33:44,660 --> 00:33:46,301
after a brain haemorrhage.
595
00:33:46,381 --> 00:33:49,101
If she went to Vegas,
it must have been a hell of a trip.
596
00:33:51,980 --> 00:33:53,101
Who is this woman?
597
00:33:54,660 --> 00:33:55,781
l was trying to help.
598
00:33:57,581 --> 00:33:58,861
l... I'd better go.
599
00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:04,660
Did l get the part?
600
00:34:07,021 --> 00:34:08,340
Tom, wait. I'm sorry.
601
00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:09,421
[thundering]
602
00:34:09,501 --> 00:34:11,340
l was trying to help.
603
00:34:11,421 --> 00:34:13,220
l thought if you could get some answers,
604
00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:16,101
even if they weren't the right ones,
it might give you some peace.
605
00:34:16,180 --> 00:34:17,700
It's been a long day.
606
00:34:18,541 --> 00:34:21,780
When l saw you crying the other day,
l couldn't bear it.
607
00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:22,740
Mandy...
608
00:34:24,660 --> 00:34:25,820
l can't.
609
00:34:27,461 --> 00:34:28,541
Why not?
610
00:34:29,541 --> 00:34:32,061
If it's because of my family,
I'm not like them.
611
00:34:32,141 --> 00:34:33,860
It's as hard for me that you're a copper.
612
00:34:33,941 --> 00:34:35,621
No, l mean l can't.
613
00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:40,220
I'm seeing someone.
l have been for a while.
614
00:34:41,581 --> 00:34:42,700
What?
615
00:34:43,860 --> 00:34:44,780
You never said.
616
00:34:45,901 --> 00:34:47,780
l didn't think it was an issue.
617
00:34:48,780 --> 00:34:51,501
-l didn't know you felt...
-Oh, my God!
618
00:34:51,581 --> 00:34:53,541
-Mandy...
-My God! My God!
619
00:34:53,621 --> 00:34:55,621
Mandy, I'm sorry!
620
00:34:59,941 --> 00:35:01,741
[distant siren wails]
621
00:35:01,820 --> 00:35:04,141
l felt horrible.
622
00:35:04,221 --> 00:35:06,141
l didn't know what to say.
623
00:35:07,780 --> 00:35:11,340
If l was sending out the wrong signals,
it wasn't intentional.
624
00:35:13,221 --> 00:35:15,181
She was only trying to be kind.
625
00:35:16,941 --> 00:35:18,421
It's more than kindness.
626
00:35:18,501 --> 00:35:19,941
She likes you, you halfwit!
627
00:35:20,701 --> 00:35:22,300
l know that now.
628
00:35:23,381 --> 00:35:24,981
At the time...
629
00:35:30,021 --> 00:35:32,461
You should have talked to me
about your mum.
630
00:35:32,541 --> 00:35:34,261
How could l?
631
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:36,860
We've got enough on our plate,
don't you think?
632
00:35:36,941 --> 00:35:38,941
l thought we agreed, no secrets.
633
00:35:39,021 --> 00:35:41,621
It wasn't a secret, l just thought...
634
00:35:43,501 --> 00:35:48,021
All this sneaking around, coming here...
l can't even call you at home.
635
00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:51,820
Have you any idea
how patronising that sounds?
636
00:35:51,901 --> 00:35:53,101
Does it?
637
00:35:53,181 --> 00:35:55,340
It's OK to sleep with me,
tell me you love me,
638
00:35:55,421 --> 00:35:58,261
but don't worry my pretty little head
with complex personal issues.
639
00:35:58,340 --> 00:36:00,661
l didn't think about that,
l didn't mean...
640
00:36:01,261 --> 00:36:02,901
l know you didn't mean.
641
00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:05,621
That's one of the reasons l love you.
642
00:36:14,941 --> 00:36:16,061
Mandy.
643
00:36:17,141 --> 00:36:18,501
l thought you had a shoo-in.
644
00:36:20,141 --> 00:36:21,381
Mandy.
645
00:36:25,701 --> 00:36:28,461
-He's an idiot.
-No, you're an idiot.
646
00:36:28,541 --> 00:36:30,701
And I'm even more of one
for listening to you.
647
00:36:32,421 --> 00:36:34,701
If your gaydar's as fucked up
as your straight antenna,
648
00:36:34,780 --> 00:36:36,340
you'll be single a long time, Ian.
649
00:36:39,221 --> 00:36:40,661
[Shane] Hurry up, will you?
650
00:36:40,741 --> 00:36:43,181
Or I'll come and do it for you.
She'll be back in a minute.
651
00:37:00,221 --> 00:37:01,901
A black eye would have done it.
652
00:37:05,380 --> 00:37:09,581
What a day. I've acquired a family
l didn't even know,
653
00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:11,860
even though they took a bit of persuading.
654
00:37:11,941 --> 00:37:14,421
Nice people, though,
once l sat down with them.
655
00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:17,701
Debs.
656
00:37:18,941 --> 00:37:19,941
We have to tell her.
657
00:37:22,501 --> 00:37:27,061
-We can't.
-l know it's a massive risk, but...
658
00:37:28,501 --> 00:37:32,501
l have to.
She's my sister-in-law, as good as.
659
00:37:32,581 --> 00:37:34,581
Just wait till your birthday.
660
00:37:34,661 --> 00:37:36,780
Have you any idea
how she'll be feeling right now?
661
00:37:37,501 --> 00:37:40,701
l can't lie to her. It wouldn't be fair.
662
00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:41,860
l could go to jail!
663
00:37:42,981 --> 00:37:46,461
l don't want to jinx us
by being unkind to someone.
664
00:37:53,981 --> 00:37:56,221
Sweetheart, you all right?
665
00:37:56,300 --> 00:37:57,421
Don't tell Debbie!
666
00:38:01,581 --> 00:38:03,860
Why? What you doing?
667
00:38:05,741 --> 00:38:08,061
l like looking... poor.
668
00:38:09,981 --> 00:38:14,501
People underestimate you and then
if you achieve something, it's a big deal.
669
00:38:16,061 --> 00:38:18,021
A working-class hero's
something to be, Mum.
670
00:38:19,461 --> 00:38:20,981
Please don't tell Debbie.
671
00:38:21,061 --> 00:38:22,581
She wouldn't understand.
672
00:38:26,901 --> 00:38:29,501
You could always
burst a pen in your pocket.
673
00:38:29,581 --> 00:38:31,780
Because ink never washes out.
674
00:38:34,701 --> 00:38:36,221
Aw...
675
00:38:36,820 --> 00:38:39,021
Cheers. How did you get on?
676
00:38:39,101 --> 00:38:42,820
-Dunno. I'm not sure if she liked it.
-How do you mean?
677
00:38:42,901 --> 00:38:47,181
You know the finger up the arse thing?
l don't know if l timed it right.
678
00:38:47,261 --> 00:38:48,701
You might have to guide me again.
679
00:38:48,780 --> 00:38:51,621
-Somebody's been out on the town.
-He's had a date.
680
00:38:51,701 --> 00:38:53,701
Oh, yeah? Who with?
681
00:38:53,780 --> 00:38:54,621
Tracey Kelvin.
682
00:38:54,701 --> 00:38:57,340
-l was just giving him a few tips.
-Who's Tracey Kelvin?
683
00:38:57,421 --> 00:39:00,380
[Karen] Oh, some vastly experienced
teen sexual predator.
684
00:39:00,461 --> 00:39:03,101
-Who's a sexual predator?
-What's it got to do with you?
685
00:39:03,181 --> 00:39:06,181
I'm Tracey Kelvin. What's he been saying?
686
00:39:06,261 --> 00:39:07,780
Nothing. I've not said nothing.
687
00:39:07,860 --> 00:39:10,261
He said you knew stuff
none of us had ever heard of.
688
00:39:10,340 --> 00:39:12,221
Foreign stuff from your other lovers.
689
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:14,860
-Is he calling me a slapper?
-No.
690
00:39:14,941 --> 00:39:16,461
Did you ride him or not?
691
00:39:16,541 --> 00:39:19,901
Did l fuck!
l won't let him go anywhere near me.
692
00:39:19,981 --> 00:39:21,621
He's not even got his own car.
693
00:39:21,701 --> 00:39:22,901
So why...?
694
00:39:22,981 --> 00:39:24,221
It were just a joke.
695
00:39:26,541 --> 00:39:27,941
He was getting you to talk dirty.
696
00:39:29,021 --> 00:39:29,981
What?
697
00:39:32,421 --> 00:39:35,621
He was getting you to talk dirty
so he could go home for a bit of DlY.
698
00:39:37,581 --> 00:39:40,421
l showed him that thing
you do with your tongue.
699
00:39:40,501 --> 00:39:42,621
You little bastard!
700
00:39:46,941 --> 00:39:47,820
What with his tongue?
701
00:39:54,261 --> 00:39:55,221
What's going on?
702
00:39:57,701 --> 00:40:00,541
[gasps] God Almighty! What happened?
703
00:40:00,621 --> 00:40:03,981
The Jocks.
They caught up with him on the estate.
704
00:40:04,061 --> 00:40:06,461
He had no chance. It was a massacre.
705
00:40:07,061 --> 00:40:09,021
What are you going to do?
706
00:40:09,101 --> 00:40:11,061
Me? [puffs]
707
00:40:11,141 --> 00:40:12,141
Not a thing.
708
00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:16,141
There's a new ethos in this house,
and l won't be the one who rocks the boat.
709
00:40:26,461 --> 00:40:28,981
Hey! Sheepshaggers!
710
00:40:29,061 --> 00:40:30,860
Get them!
711
00:40:32,541 --> 00:40:34,101
That's my girl!
712
00:40:37,340 --> 00:40:40,340
What's so important?
You nearly woke Katie.
713
00:40:41,581 --> 00:40:42,860
Is something wrong?
714
00:40:44,141 --> 00:40:46,380
-It's me.
-What is?
715
00:40:47,780 --> 00:40:48,581
Tom.
716
00:40:49,741 --> 00:40:53,061
I'm sorry he didn't tell you.
l wasn't sure myself what l thought.
717
00:40:53,141 --> 00:40:55,461
No, you don't understand.
718
00:40:56,860 --> 00:41:00,061
l mean, it's me.
I'm the someone he's seeing.
719
00:41:01,541 --> 00:41:03,261
Don't be stupid. You're only a kid.
720
00:41:06,021 --> 00:41:09,981
-But he's...
-Twenty-six. And I'm nearly 16.
721
00:41:12,101 --> 00:41:13,860
It's illegal.
722
00:41:13,941 --> 00:41:16,541
-It's disgusting!
-We love each other.
723
00:41:16,621 --> 00:41:19,661
Oh, grow up. How can you know
what love is at your age?
724
00:41:20,860 --> 00:41:22,581
How old were you when you got pregnant?
725
00:41:22,661 --> 00:41:24,941
That was different. We were both kids.
726
00:41:25,021 --> 00:41:28,981
And love came after, out of necessity.
727
00:41:29,061 --> 00:41:30,661
Isn't it better doing it this way round?
728
00:41:30,741 --> 00:41:32,621
I'm not going to get pregnant.
I'm not naive.
729
00:41:32,701 --> 00:41:36,780
What? Because you got two lessons
in biology, you know what it's all about?
730
00:41:36,860 --> 00:41:39,021
You're the one always telling me
how grown-up l am.
731
00:41:39,101 --> 00:41:41,101
A 20-year-old head
on 15-year-old shoulders.
732
00:41:41,181 --> 00:41:43,141
l couldn't have been more wrong, could l?
733
00:41:43,221 --> 00:41:47,061
You love him? You've been reading
too many magazines.
734
00:41:47,141 --> 00:41:49,741
Look, I'm sorry he hurt you.
He didn't mean it.
735
00:41:49,820 --> 00:41:52,021
Fuck off. He didn't hurt me.
736
00:41:52,101 --> 00:41:54,661
I'd had a couple of drinks, that's all.
Lost my head.
737
00:41:54,741 --> 00:41:56,661
[knock at door]
738
00:42:04,421 --> 00:42:07,421
-What are you doing?
-l couldn't let you do it on your own.
739
00:42:07,501 --> 00:42:09,621
Didn't know what you might be facing.
740
00:42:11,780 --> 00:42:13,541
What if someone sees?
741
00:42:15,661 --> 00:42:17,221
Well, then, so be it.
742
00:42:24,981 --> 00:42:26,181
l didn't realise.
743
00:42:26,261 --> 00:42:29,461
Stop apologising.
You're pathetic, the pair of you.
744
00:42:29,541 --> 00:42:32,261
-You won't say anything?
-What am l gonna say?
745
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:36,141
A bloke I fance gave me a body swerve
because he prefers children?
746
00:42:36,221 --> 00:42:39,380
-She's not a child.
-She's not a woman.
747
00:42:39,461 --> 00:42:41,701
We didn't do it lightly.
748
00:42:41,780 --> 00:42:44,741
-It took a long time.
-That's worse.
749
00:42:44,820 --> 00:42:47,061
-We'd like to keep it quiet...
-I'll bet you would.
750
00:42:47,141 --> 00:42:49,380
...till Debbie's birthday.
751
00:42:49,461 --> 00:42:51,061
Please, Mandy.
752
00:42:55,141 --> 00:42:57,101
l won't say anything.
753
00:42:57,181 --> 00:42:59,261
But when it goes belly up,
don't come running.
754
00:43:12,981 --> 00:43:15,421
Look, things could get tricky.
755
00:43:15,501 --> 00:43:16,541
Shh.
756
00:43:17,661 --> 00:43:19,101
I'll talk to you in the morning.
757
00:43:46,300 --> 00:43:48,461
[Liam]
l don't think I'll bother growing up.
758
00:43:48,541 --> 00:43:53,061
All that aggro, and for what?
To be kicked out of your bed?
759
00:43:53,141 --> 00:43:55,820
Resented for growing a life inside you?
760
00:43:57,661 --> 00:44:01,820
The lies and the politics,
sneaking around...
761
00:44:02,981 --> 00:44:05,421
opening yourself up
to all sorts of hurt and pain.
762
00:44:05,501 --> 00:44:06,461
[phone notification]
763
00:44:09,300 --> 00:44:12,340
And for what? Companionship?
764
00:44:12,421 --> 00:44:14,661
Someone to hold onto in bed at night?
765
00:44:15,621 --> 00:44:19,581
You can be your own company.
Hold on to yourself in bed.
766
00:44:19,661 --> 00:44:22,261
Carl does every night
when he thinks I'm sleeping.
767
00:44:23,300 --> 00:44:26,860
In the olden days, they used to give drugs
to gymnasts from East Germany
768
00:44:26,941 --> 00:44:29,941
to keep them children
for as long as possible.
769
00:44:30,021 --> 00:44:32,461
Wonder if l could get my hands
on any of those.
770
00:44:33,581 --> 00:44:35,701
Listen, I think
my mum might know about us.
771
00:44:35,780 --> 00:44:38,501
-You told them.
-It's Debbie Gallagher, all right!
772
00:44:38,581 --> 00:44:39,461
She's shagging him?
773
00:44:39,541 --> 00:44:41,221
So the tart's back in town, is she?
774
00:44:43,421 --> 00:44:44,941
[grunting]
775
00:44:45,021 --> 00:44:46,380
Bastard!
776
00:44:46,461 --> 00:44:48,541
This never happened before!
I fancy you like fuck!
777
00:44:48,621 --> 00:44:51,741
-Tell that to your cock.
-What's the matter with you? Wake up!
778
00:44:51,820 --> 00:44:53,141
I need to see him.
779
00:44:54,221 --> 00:44:56,581
I am your father, Debbie.
780
00:44:56,661 --> 00:44:59,701
Nothing you could do
will ever stop me loving you.
781
00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:02,181
♪♪
782
00:45:39,261 --> 00:45:43,261
Of course, it was my choice
to move on from Corrie.
783
00:45:43,340 --> 00:45:48,541
I'm more of an all-round entertainer,
rather than just a one-trick pony.
784
00:45:48,621 --> 00:45:52,340
I've done two cruises
round the Shetland Isles.
785
00:45:52,421 --> 00:45:54,621
Yeah. Three seasons at Skegness.
786
00:45:54,701 --> 00:45:58,900
Hey, hey, hey! Bobby Davro, eh?
Oh, he's a lovely man...
787
00:45:58,981 --> 00:46:00,581
♪♪
57433
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