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1
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[intro music]
2
00:00:07,061 --> 00:00:10,820
[Frank] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express.
3
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,420
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
4
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:16,421
they were given by him upstairs.
5
00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:20,140
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:21,460
-Wicked!
-Piss off!
7
00:00:21,541 --> 00:00:25,460
What sounds on Earth
could ever replace
8
00:00:25,541 --> 00:00:29,061
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
9
00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:32,421
'Cos this, people reckon, me included,
10
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,301
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
11
00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:37,941
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
12
00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:43,701
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
13
00:00:43,781 --> 00:00:49,821
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
14
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,701
You shit on our head,
but... you pay the taxes.
15
00:00:53,781 --> 00:00:55,181
[cheering]
16
00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:58,620
[Frank] Imagine Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers.
17
00:00:58,701 --> 00:01:01,260
Who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer, eh?
18
00:01:01,341 --> 00:01:02,341
Eh!
19
00:01:02,421 --> 00:01:04,900
Make poverty history.
20
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:09,661
Cheaper drugs now!
Make poverty history!
21
00:01:09,741 --> 00:01:11,621
Cheaper drugs now!
22
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,060
[chuckles] Scatter!
23
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Party!
24
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[Liam] Money was invented
by the Algerian Empire, back in 1200 BC.
25
00:01:27,901 --> 00:01:29,941
Heavy coins, known as shekels.
26
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Paper money wasn't invented
until 1000 AD
27
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when the Romans got sick of coins
weighing down their togas.
28
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The first recorded use of money
29
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was when 12 shekels were paid
to Algar Hammurabi
30
00:01:43,780 --> 00:01:45,780
in return for the use of his daughter.
31
00:01:45,860 --> 00:01:48,860
I'm not making this up.
It's on the internet.
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Some people say having
no money isn't that bad.
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Teaches you to be, you know,
a proper person and all that.
34
00:01:55,301 --> 00:01:58,021
But people who say that
usually live in nice houses
35
00:01:58,101 --> 00:02:00,301
with two cars, and can afford
to talk out their arses.
36
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:05,140
Er, forget it. Start sticking
your giro in here, then we'll talk.
37
00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:09,780
[Liam]
Let's face it. Being poor is shit.
38
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Sorry for swearing. But it's true.
39
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It's shit.
40
00:02:23,461 --> 00:02:25,741
-Um...
-I paid for the milk.
41
00:02:25,820 --> 00:02:28,661
Party's a goer.
Ian, you all right to close tonight?
42
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Dunno. Switching off lights, locking
doors... It's a big responsibility.
43
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Here, keep them. You fancy it,
you can move into the spare room.
44
00:02:35,581 --> 00:02:38,461
We should discuss this first, eh?
45
00:02:41,181 --> 00:02:43,820
Fine. Take the room.
46
00:02:43,901 --> 00:02:46,700
If you manage to get a girlfriend,
you might be glad of it.
47
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,461
You've only got enough for a half.
48
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,540
[man on TV]
Somewhere on the Chatsworth Estate,
49
00:02:51,621 --> 00:02:53,221
a mystery man or woman
is walking around,
50
00:02:53,301 --> 00:02:57,061
in possession of a lottery ticket
worth half a million pounds.
51
00:02:57,141 --> 00:03:00,540
According to lottery officials,
that ticket as yet remains unclaimed.
52
00:03:00,621 --> 00:03:02,980
Lottery! Idiot tax, isn't it?
53
00:03:03,061 --> 00:03:04,781
Sign of a poor economy.
54
00:03:04,861 --> 00:03:07,621
...that ticket as yet remains unclaimed.
55
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:12,461
More chance of being struck twice
by lightning. Chalky, am I right?
56
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,901
The ticket may have been bought
in this very shop.
57
00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,941
You actually were working on the day
the ticket was sold, is that right?
58
00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:21,221
Yes. That's right.
Saturday's a very big lottery day for us.
59
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:24,980
I say Friday. The ticket was bought
last thing on that Friday night.
60
00:03:25,061 --> 00:03:26,420
Must be very exciting nevertheless,
61
00:03:26,501 --> 00:03:28,661
to think that the winner
could be someone you actually know?
62
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:31,901
Yes, well, my shop is very popular.
63
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Friday? Friday?
64
00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:35,100
Friday, yeah.
65
00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:37,221
It was my birthday on Friday.
66
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Oh, no!
67
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Just 80 quid.
68
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,781
-Hurry up.
-You're not having a new bloody phone.
69
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-[boy] Mum, you said you'd give us a lift.
-Just a sec.
70
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-Customer awaiting service.
-Mum, I need a lift!
71
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:52,661
-A phone!
-Will you all just shut up!
72
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,501
It was him.
73
00:04:02,581 --> 00:04:04,501
Fucking Frank Gallagher.
74
00:04:04,581 --> 00:04:07,461
Yeah, if you could just watch it,
we are actually live,
75
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:10,021
-so just watch your language.
-Frank fucking Gallagher!
76
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:12,380
You have it there, Frank Gallagher,
a very lucky man.
77
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,021
Stay with us. I'll be giving you...
78
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,181
Lucky bastard.
79
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:17,420
...hopefully, an answer to the question
I think we're all asking,
80
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,740
Where are you, Frank?
81
00:04:31,941 --> 00:04:32,821
What?
82
00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:36,620
Well, done, Frank, you lucky bastard.
83
00:04:36,701 --> 00:04:37,701
[cheering]
84
00:04:37,781 --> 00:04:41,301
-It was just a piss. But thank you.
-[all laugh]
85
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,661
Dad, that guy on the telly,
he's saying you've won the lottery.
86
00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:45,861
[Karen] Half a million.
87
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[cheering]
88
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Get this man a drink!
89
00:04:52,381 --> 00:04:53,740
A drink?
90
00:04:53,821 --> 00:04:55,461
Yeah! To celebrate your success.
91
00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:58,180
-I'll get him a drink.
-I'll get him one.
92
00:04:58,261 --> 00:05:00,021
[Chalky] Come on, get this man a pint.
93
00:05:00,101 --> 00:05:02,141
[man] I'll get him one and all.
94
00:05:03,581 --> 00:05:06,101
Well, you know, the truth is,
you know...
95
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,981
The truth is, see,
I didn't want to boast or nothing.
96
00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:14,981
It's just...
Any chance of a chaser in this?
97
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[man] Get him a double.
98
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:20,381
I've been brought up properly.
It's vulgar to mention money, isn't it?
99
00:05:20,461 --> 00:05:22,821
Still, you know what they say...
100
00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:26,341
-You gotta be in it to win it!
-[cheering]
101
00:05:26,421 --> 00:05:29,180
Way back in Ancient Greece, like,
102
00:05:29,261 --> 00:05:33,421
it was the gods themselves
who used to reward the heroes...
103
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,461
[Karen] Do you believe this?
104
00:05:35,541 --> 00:05:37,301
I have no idea.
105
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,981
Keep his tab open. We're quids in here.
106
00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:42,141
Right. Be back late. Maybe morning.
107
00:05:42,221 --> 00:05:45,620
Maybe not till afternoon.
Big Jim's parties are legendary.
108
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Don't suppose you could lend us
half a million quid or so?
109
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:54,541
[laughter, cheering]
110
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Don't tell me people
are actually buying this.
111
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Must be round most of the estate by now.
Busiest night we've had in ages.
112
00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:02,541
Poor bastards down
in Guantanamo Bay...
113
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[laughter]
114
00:06:04,701 --> 00:06:05,901
Until I see the cheque...
115
00:06:05,981 --> 00:06:08,261
Like Romulus and Remus...
116
00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:09,620
Does Mum know yet?
117
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[screams]
118
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Yeah. She knows. Tried telling her
it was all nonsense, but, you know.
119
00:06:17,981 --> 00:06:20,620
Should have a word with him
before he does something really stupid.
120
00:06:20,701 --> 00:06:21,820
Christ, the croupier!
121
00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:24,261
[laughter]
122
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:27,500
I'm not saying it was the Almighty,
123
00:06:27,581 --> 00:06:31,901
but there's a certain order to the cosmos.
124
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Hello, baby.
125
00:06:32,861 --> 00:06:35,380
-Can I see it?
-See what?
126
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:38,620
-The winning ticket.
-Yes, show us the ticket!
127
00:06:39,461 --> 00:06:42,661
The winning... See it? Right.
128
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:43,541
So?
129
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:46,060
It's in my other jeans.
130
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Other jeans?
131
00:06:49,101 --> 00:06:52,541
Oh, Christ, you know,
learn to walk at three,
132
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,781
and then they learn to start
fucking nagging by the age of four.
133
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[laughter]
134
00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:00,021
I'm not nagging.
135
00:07:00,101 --> 00:07:02,861
You see, at home, with the housekeeping,
she's got this little tin.
136
00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:06,461
It's all, "Got a tin,
got a tin, got a fucking tin..."
137
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,221
Someone has to keep charge of the money.
138
00:07:09,301 --> 00:07:11,820
-[mocking] Someone's got to take charge...
-Dad...
139
00:07:11,901 --> 00:07:15,101
"Dad!" Yap, yap, yap, like a Chihuahua.
140
00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:20,620
Go on! Go back and cut up
your discount coupons!
141
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:24,101
If she won the lottery
it'd stay in that bloody tin.
142
00:07:24,740 --> 00:07:26,581
[mocking]
143
00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:32,461
[crying]
144
00:07:34,701 --> 00:07:35,940
Handing in my notice.
145
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:38,820
You can't quit. We've got
lottery fever going on here.
146
00:07:38,901 --> 00:07:40,021
All arses on deck.
147
00:07:40,101 --> 00:07:42,901
I'm heir to a fortune.
Don't need this job.
148
00:07:42,981 --> 00:07:44,180
I'll give you a pay rise.
149
00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:45,701
Three quid an hour.
150
00:07:47,141 --> 00:07:48,180
You're on.
151
00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:53,141
I'm on three quid an hour already.
152
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:01,661
[singing loudly]
153
00:08:31,861 --> 00:08:36,261
♪ First thing that comes into your head
When you see it ♪
154
00:08:38,261 --> 00:08:39,421
♪ And it looks like it... ♪
155
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:45,220
I've got a better idea. Come on.
156
00:08:47,061 --> 00:08:49,421
[grunting]
157
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[panting]
158
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[door slams]
159
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,781
-What was that?
-Shit!
160
00:08:58,021 --> 00:08:59,460
Shit! Shit!
161
00:08:59,541 --> 00:09:01,541
It's not your fault, babe.
162
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:06,141
I mean, who has a fucking
karaoke machine in their flat, eh?
163
00:09:06,220 --> 00:09:08,541
Don't. I can still hear him singing.
164
00:09:08,621 --> 00:09:10,941
Ah, home sweet home.
165
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:15,340
Come on.
166
00:09:19,061 --> 00:09:20,381
I'm sorry about that.
167
00:09:21,821 --> 00:09:24,860
Maybe we can finish off,
you know, tomorrow night?
168
00:09:24,941 --> 00:09:27,460
Maybe. If you get your own bed.
169
00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:42,261
Shit!
170
00:09:43,340 --> 00:09:45,460
Yee-hah! It's money!
171
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,541
[cheering]
172
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,980
We won't need those anymore, will we?
173
00:09:50,061 --> 00:09:52,381
We are in the money, as they say.
174
00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:56,340
Yee-hah! Money!
175
00:09:57,901 --> 00:10:01,220
Debbie, love. I don't know
why you're wasting your time.
176
00:10:03,381 --> 00:10:06,220
[Carl] Money!
177
00:10:25,821 --> 00:10:28,501
-Your secret's safe with me.
-Fine.
178
00:10:28,581 --> 00:10:31,421
Should be more careful in future.
179
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:32,701
Sure.
180
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,701
How long have you known for?
I can't believe it.
181
00:10:36,781 --> 00:10:40,661
I never guessed, and usually,
I have a radar for these things.
182
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:44,581
-Karen...
-Hey, you don't need to be ashamed.
183
00:10:44,661 --> 00:10:47,821
I'm not ashamed.
I just need to take a piss, all right?
184
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:58,460
[Monica] That's the instructions...
185
00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:01,381
We're millionaires!
We're millionaires!
186
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:04,621
Dad. That bloke on the telly,
he's saying you've won the lottery.
187
00:11:04,701 --> 00:11:08,141
Another pint, Frank?
Get him another one. Come on, Frank.
188
00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:10,141
[mocking]
189
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:14,181
Now then, I happen to know
that you've been wanting one of these.
190
00:11:14,261 --> 00:11:15,141
[Carl] Cool.
191
00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:16,941
[Monica] And for little Liam...
192
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,701
Don't worry. I haven't forgotten you.
193
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,541
Our princess.
194
00:11:24,621 --> 00:11:25,781
Make-up.
195
00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:28,141
That's the same brand that I use.
196
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,061
You'll be fighting them off
with a stick soon.
197
00:11:30,141 --> 00:11:33,421
And for little babba...
198
00:11:33,501 --> 00:11:35,261
You got quite a haul there, Mon...
199
00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:39,501
Yeah, well, Norma was kind enough
to let us use her credit card.
200
00:11:39,581 --> 00:11:41,621
Yeah, you'll be paying it back though,
Frank.
201
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:45,501
-Soon as the, er, cheque arrives.
-When is that, exactly?
202
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,661
Well, the thing is...
203
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,261
there is no money.
204
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:54,781
[screams]
205
00:11:57,740 --> 00:11:59,021
Well, the thing is...
206
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:02,381
it's all that, you know,
red tape, and that, you know.
207
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,860
Lottery says it'll be here...
208
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:07,340
-end of the week.
-It better be.
209
00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:10,220
And for my rich, successful husband...
210
00:12:10,301 --> 00:12:12,941
It's about time
you embraced the 21st century.
211
00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:15,381
Now we'll always be able
to stay in touch.
212
00:12:17,141 --> 00:12:18,181
Fantastic.
213
00:12:18,261 --> 00:12:20,141
[Liam] Give me the money
or the kid gets it!
214
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:23,301
[phone rings]
215
00:12:25,381 --> 00:12:27,340
-Hello?
-Hiya, love!
216
00:12:27,421 --> 00:12:29,100
I'm just about done, Mrs Gallagher.
217
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:31,340
Don't suppose there's any chance
of a cup of tea?
218
00:12:31,421 --> 00:12:32,661
Just got one more thing to check.
219
00:12:32,740 --> 00:12:37,261
Why don't you have a fresh coffee
from our brand-new cappuccino machine!
220
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,821
It does mocha, latte, and frappuccino.
221
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:43,021
Er, just tea, thanks.
222
00:12:44,301 --> 00:12:46,021
[mouths]
Who the fuck is that?
223
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:49,701
Council re-evaluating the house.
We can afford something new now.
224
00:12:49,781 --> 00:12:51,860
Maybe a semi-detached with a garage.
225
00:12:51,941 --> 00:12:54,381
This place can go
to someone less fortunate.
226
00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,980
We're so lucky.
227
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,421
[vacuum cleaner whirrs]
228
00:13:26,421 --> 00:13:29,501
[Mickey] No family to hassle you.
Dead lucky getting to stay here.
229
00:13:29,581 --> 00:13:32,100
Able to have over who you want.
230
00:13:32,181 --> 00:13:33,980
Even stay the night.
231
00:13:34,061 --> 00:13:36,620
I had to sleep on the floor last night.
Dead lucky!
232
00:13:36,701 --> 00:13:39,421
How am I supposed to have
a sex life without a bed?
233
00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:40,701
Well, I can get you a bed.
234
00:13:40,781 --> 00:13:42,701
-What's the catch?
-No catch.
235
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:43,781
Really.
236
00:13:46,901 --> 00:13:49,261
I can't believe
you fucked some guy in our bed.
237
00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:51,220
-Keep it down.
-You're fucking disgusting.
238
00:13:51,301 --> 00:13:52,460
And you're an homophobe!
239
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:55,661
Hey, Ian, animal, vegetable, mineral,
I couldn't give a monkey's twat
240
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:58,220
what you're into,
but not in our fucking bed!
241
00:13:58,301 --> 00:14:01,541
You're right. I'll make it up to you,
but I need to know
242
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:05,220
you're not going to spread this around.
Promise me, Karen. Please.
243
00:14:06,141 --> 00:14:07,100
Hey, what's up?
244
00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:09,261
Gayboy here fucked some guy in our bed.
245
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:11,941
-Fuck's sake!
-You're gay? Really?
246
00:14:12,021 --> 00:14:14,620
Hello? Not the point. ln our bed.
247
00:14:14,701 --> 00:14:16,340
Thought you weren't gonna tell anyone.
248
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:18,301
He's my husband. I have to tell him.
249
00:14:18,381 --> 00:14:19,301
I don't really care either way.
250
00:14:19,381 --> 00:14:21,381
That's not what I'm worried about. Jesus!
251
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:24,021
Hey, you're the guy
who used our fucking bed.
252
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:26,541
You don't get to act
all pissed off here, all right?
253
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:30,261
I tell him everything, we're totally
honest with each other. So deal with it.
254
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:31,581
You tell him everything?
255
00:14:31,661 --> 00:14:32,460
-Really?
-Yeah.
256
00:14:32,541 --> 00:14:34,261
You tell him how you used to suck off
the delivery guy
257
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:35,781
for a 5% discount on crisps?
258
00:14:35,860 --> 00:14:38,061
Or what about the old guy you gave
a hand-job to for a bet?
259
00:14:38,141 --> 00:14:39,661
Or what about you shagging my dad?
260
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,701
-Shit, I didn't mean to...
-It's all right. I'm cool.
261
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:01,821
The longer it goes on,
the worse it's gonna get.
262
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,541
Not just for you. For all of us.
263
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,261
You didn't win the lottery.
264
00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:10,581
It's all about perception, Deb, isn't it?
265
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:13,500
If everyone says the sky is green,
then the sky is green.
266
00:15:13,581 --> 00:15:16,620
No, the sky would still be blue.
Everyone would just be wrong.
267
00:15:16,701 --> 00:15:18,021
You have to tell them.
268
00:15:21,301 --> 00:15:22,301
Debbie...
269
00:15:25,181 --> 00:15:28,220
Oh, come on,
having money changes things.
270
00:15:28,301 --> 00:15:29,860
People look up to me now.
271
00:15:29,941 --> 00:15:32,740
Well done, Dad! You've worked out
that people pay attention
272
00:15:32,821 --> 00:15:34,061
when they think you've got cash.
273
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:36,821
What about the one when you realise
every action has a consequence?
274
00:15:37,460 --> 00:15:41,340
Fucking hell, it's like being interrogated
by the inventor of Scrabble.
275
00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:42,620
[knocking]
276
00:15:42,701 --> 00:15:46,100
-Yes?!
-It's my kitten, mister.
277
00:15:46,181 --> 00:15:49,301
Vet says he needs a new heart.
Will you help him, please?
278
00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:50,781
Do I look like I've got charity
279
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:53,141
-stamped across my fucking forehead?
-No.
280
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:56,100
My hubby's lost both his legs
in an industrial accident.
281
00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:57,460
Oh! Bloody hell!
282
00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:01,141
The Government's stopped
his disability benefit, the bastards.
283
00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:03,901
-You're his only hope!
-Oh!
284
00:16:04,901 --> 00:16:05,980
Tell them.
285
00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:13,740
I'm not fucking Bono, you know.
286
00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:15,301
Frank!
287
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:18,980
[crowd calls out]
288
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,421
Come on, come on.
289
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,701
[Mickey] Not bad, eh?
290
00:16:23,781 --> 00:16:24,821
[Ian] Yeah. it's all right.
291
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:30,740
-What's up with you? It's a free bed.
-Nothing, I'm just worried about stuff.
292
00:16:30,821 --> 00:16:33,021
Never mind.
293
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,781
It's springy.
294
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,301
-Eh?
-The bed.
295
00:16:36,380 --> 00:16:38,100
I had a bounce on it.
296
00:16:38,181 --> 00:16:39,821
Very springy.
297
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:42,460
Better get a move on.
298
00:16:43,821 --> 00:16:46,821
-Who did you say this belonged to?
-Told you. Mate of mine.
299
00:16:46,901 --> 00:16:49,340
-He's moving to Costa Rica. Don't need it.
-Costa Rica?
300
00:16:52,181 --> 00:16:53,941
You...
301
00:16:54,021 --> 00:16:57,620
You can't even make up a convincing
sounding story, can you? Admit it.
302
00:16:57,701 --> 00:16:59,460
-You nicked it.
-I did not.
303
00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:01,941
You're the worst liar I've ever met!
We've gotta dump this.
304
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,740
I'm not risking carting around
some knock-off.
305
00:17:03,821 --> 00:17:04,620
Fuck you!
306
00:17:05,461 --> 00:17:07,461
I bought it, OK!
307
00:17:07,541 --> 00:17:10,461
I fucking paid for it,
50 quid from a mate!
308
00:17:10,541 --> 00:17:12,581
I bought you the fucking bed!
309
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:15,340
-OK. Calm down.
-You dick!
310
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:17,821
I didn't mean to...
Why would you buy me a bed?
311
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:19,741
[siren whoops]
312
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:23,420
Shite sticks!
313
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,461
I thought you said
this bed wasn't stolen.
314
00:17:26,541 --> 00:17:27,660
It's not.
315
00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:30,781
That's my dad's van!
316
00:17:31,581 --> 00:17:33,461
But I couldn't stick a bed
in a limo, could I?
317
00:17:48,221 --> 00:17:49,861
Frankie!
318
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:52,741
Listen, Frank, we stuck these
on your tab. It's all right, isn't it?
319
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,501
Yeah. Yeah, course.
320
00:17:55,101 --> 00:17:56,301
Share the wealth and all that.
321
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:00,781
What's with the dirty eyeball?
322
00:18:00,861 --> 00:18:01,900
Nothing.
323
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,821
I believe there was talk of a pint?
324
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:07,381
[mobile rings]
325
00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:13,900
Hello.
326
00:18:13,981 --> 00:18:15,621
[man] ls that Frank Gallagher?
327
00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:17,821
Lucky Lotto winner Frank Gallagher?
328
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:18,940
Yes. It is he.
329
00:18:19,021 --> 00:18:21,581
Do you love your children, Frank?
330
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,341
Is it a trick question?
331
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:24,660
We have your son.
332
00:18:24,741 --> 00:18:25,861
What's that?
333
00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:27,821
Your son. Liam.
334
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:30,940
Half a million quid,
if you wanna see him again.
335
00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:32,660
We'll be in touch.
336
00:18:34,861 --> 00:18:38,221
Do you love children, Mr Gallagher?
337
00:18:38,301 --> 00:18:41,461
What did you say?
What the fuck did you say?!
338
00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:45,261
No, it's just... starving children...
Africa... could use your help.
339
00:18:50,461 --> 00:18:52,341
Just, fuck... Just...
340
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,700
Leave me alone!
341
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:03,461
Liam!
342
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,541
Does the Jacuzzi come
with silver chrome as well?
343
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:26,621
Mon, you seen little Liam anywhere?
344
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,461
He's probably in his room
or something.
345
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,861
Right. And does that one come
with the deluxe bubbles package?
346
00:19:47,501 --> 00:19:48,900
Cleaning windows.
347
00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:50,420
Er, obviously!
348
00:19:50,501 --> 00:19:52,541
Yeah, looks nice.
349
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,381
Great conservatory, that...
350
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,101
OK. What's with
the friendly fucking neighbour act?
351
00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:59,381
It's my little one, Liam.
352
00:19:59,461 --> 00:20:03,341
He's been kidnapped.
Thought you'd know something about it.
353
00:20:04,861 --> 00:20:08,581
You've got a fucking nerve, Gallagher.
I would never touch kids.
354
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:12,940
No, no, Jesus! I meant,
I thought you'd know what to do.
355
00:20:13,021 --> 00:20:15,341
Oh, well, why didn't you say so, then?
356
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:17,341
Don't fucking hit me again.
357
00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:21,940
Have they contacted you?
Made demands?
358
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:22,981
The whole half million.
359
00:20:25,821 --> 00:20:26,621
Are you winding me up?
360
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:29,781
No! Please!
361
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:33,221
I'll talk to some folk. Ask around.
362
00:20:33,301 --> 00:20:37,221
See if anyone's heard anything.
You told the wife, told the police?
363
00:20:37,301 --> 00:20:38,381
-No.
-Don't.
364
00:20:38,461 --> 00:20:41,341
She'll only panic
and they'll only cock it up.
365
00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:45,420
And from my experience,
neither of those has a happy ending.
366
00:20:45,501 --> 00:20:47,581
Anybody asks,
367
00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:50,021
he's staying with a school friend,
all right?
368
00:20:50,101 --> 00:20:51,821
All right.
369
00:20:53,981 --> 00:20:56,781
Terrible fucking world
we live in, Gallagher.
370
00:20:56,861 --> 00:20:58,180
I'll keep you posted.
371
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,581
[moaning]
372
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,861
[moans]
373
00:21:12,381 --> 00:21:15,700
-Fuck!
-What? What is it?
374
00:21:19,341 --> 00:21:23,660
You actually...
fucked Frank Gallagher?
375
00:21:25,221 --> 00:21:30,660
Oh. I thought you said
you were cool with everything.
376
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:36,261
Yeah. OK, I did.
377
00:21:36,341 --> 00:21:38,021
Jesus, Karen.
378
00:21:39,301 --> 00:21:41,221
What happened
to some quality control, hey?
379
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:44,821
I know! I know.
380
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:47,061
It's not the best idea I ever had.
381
00:21:53,581 --> 00:21:55,061
But then I met you.
382
00:21:57,781 --> 00:21:59,660
Everything changed.
383
00:22:05,301 --> 00:22:06,861
Became better.
384
00:22:07,900 --> 00:22:09,621
Became new.
385
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,900
Oh, don't do this.
386
00:22:11,981 --> 00:22:15,180
-Don't make me feel like that.
-I'm sorry.
387
00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:29,940
-No.
-Didn't say anything.
388
00:22:30,021 --> 00:22:31,621
You didn't need to.
389
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:36,781
-We're not having sex.
-But we're gay.
390
00:22:36,861 --> 00:22:39,341
It's not a club. There aren't rules.
391
00:22:39,420 --> 00:22:42,821
-I got you a bed.
-You also got me arrested.
392
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,221
Go to sleep!
393
00:23:10,221 --> 00:23:12,660
[Paddy] Sorry about
the cloak and dagger act.
394
00:23:12,741 --> 00:23:14,341
Didn't want to alarm the family.
395
00:23:14,420 --> 00:23:16,381
You managed to find anything out?
396
00:23:16,460 --> 00:23:19,741
I tried, Francis. Believe me, I tried.
397
00:23:22,541 --> 00:23:25,621
-Where is he?
-I don't know anything, Paddy!
398
00:23:26,581 --> 00:23:28,581
-Just tell me what you know.
-I don't know anything.
399
00:23:31,741 --> 00:23:34,700
I tried. Nothing.
400
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:36,501
Not a word.
401
00:23:39,221 --> 00:23:43,420
Unfortunately, I think
your best option is to grit your teeth
402
00:23:43,501 --> 00:23:45,301
and pay the bastards.
403
00:23:48,621 --> 00:23:49,700
What if...?
404
00:23:51,061 --> 00:23:52,341
What if I don't pay them?
405
00:23:54,061 --> 00:23:56,301
This is your son we're talking about.
406
00:23:57,861 --> 00:23:59,700
You've got half a million quid.
407
00:24:03,781 --> 00:24:05,501
You disgust me.
408
00:24:34,741 --> 00:24:37,420
[muffled voices]
409
00:24:37,501 --> 00:24:39,061
Do you want a smoothie?
410
00:25:04,700 --> 00:25:06,981
Debbie!
411
00:25:12,581 --> 00:25:16,101
Your mum's lost her keys.
Do you know where the spare set is?
412
00:25:17,700 --> 00:25:18,900
Cheers.
413
00:25:19,501 --> 00:25:21,981
Wait. You can't leave.
414
00:25:22,061 --> 00:25:23,021
What?
415
00:25:23,101 --> 00:25:26,180
You might tell someone what you've seen,
and that'd ruin everything.
416
00:25:26,261 --> 00:25:27,420
What are you talking about?
417
00:25:30,460 --> 00:25:32,301
Debbie... what have you done?
418
00:25:38,741 --> 00:25:40,061
Why do you have to spoil everything?
419
00:25:40,141 --> 00:25:41,821
I'm not! He hasn't won the lottery!
420
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:43,741
It's half a million quid, Debbie.
421
00:25:43,821 --> 00:25:45,501
It doesn't matter how much it was.
422
00:25:45,581 --> 00:25:48,460
It doesn't exist. He's just hurting us all
by pretending it does.
423
00:25:48,541 --> 00:25:50,700
No, you mean you're pissed off
and just want to teach him a lesson.
424
00:25:50,781 --> 00:25:53,141
Mum has already maxed out
Norma's credit card.
425
00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:54,821
We could lose the house.
Yeah. I am pissed off.
426
00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:57,261
You think you know better
than everyone else!
427
00:25:57,341 --> 00:25:59,541
Because I do know better.
And I'm gonna prove it to you.
428
00:25:59,621 --> 00:26:02,460
Chesney? I need you
to do it one more time.
429
00:26:02,541 --> 00:26:03,501
Fuck's sake.
430
00:26:04,460 --> 00:26:05,660
We're moving on to Phase Three.
431
00:26:07,141 --> 00:26:08,341
Cool.
432
00:26:10,700 --> 00:26:13,741
[mobile rings]
433
00:26:13,821 --> 00:26:14,781
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?
434
00:26:14,861 --> 00:26:17,381
We want the money, Frank.
435
00:26:17,460 --> 00:26:19,581
Yeah, the money,
of course, no problem.
436
00:26:19,660 --> 00:26:21,821
Tell the truth, Frank,
or we'll hurt your kid.
437
00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:25,021
I am. Just...
Fucking just don't touch him.
438
00:26:25,101 --> 00:26:29,381
I don't believe you, Frank.
Say goodbye to his little finger.
439
00:26:29,460 --> 00:26:30,900
Ahh, ahh, ahh!
440
00:26:30,981 --> 00:26:31,940
[Liam moans]
441
00:26:32,021 --> 00:26:34,341
Oh, fuck, don't!
442
00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:36,861
Don't hurt him... don't hurt...
443
00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:37,981
There was no money!
444
00:26:38,061 --> 00:26:40,981
There never was. I lied, all right!
445
00:26:41,061 --> 00:26:42,900
I just...
446
00:26:45,981 --> 00:26:47,821
Please!
447
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,420
Hello?
448
00:27:03,180 --> 00:27:04,141
Hey.
449
00:27:07,581 --> 00:27:10,220
I stayed at Mum and Dad's. Sofa job.
450
00:27:10,301 --> 00:27:12,180
Don't remember asking.
451
00:27:13,101 --> 00:27:15,621
Look, I don't want to ruin everything.
452
00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:17,781
You're going to be normal, then?
453
00:27:17,861 --> 00:27:22,061
Well, I'm gonna try. Just let
my head get bent out of shape.
454
00:27:25,861 --> 00:27:28,700
While you were away
being all mean and moody,
455
00:27:28,781 --> 00:27:30,501
toilets in the ladies
went a bit Exorcist.
456
00:27:30,581 --> 00:27:32,741
But don't worry, got a plumber
coming to look at it later,
457
00:27:32,821 --> 00:27:36,981
nothing for you to worry about, feel free
to carry on with your James Dean act.
458
00:27:38,660 --> 00:27:40,061
James Dean?
459
00:27:40,141 --> 00:27:41,861
Wasn't meant as a compliment.
460
00:27:41,940 --> 00:27:44,101
Yeah, well, I'm taking it as one.
461
00:27:47,180 --> 00:27:49,581
You're a twat, Jamie Maguire.
462
00:28:01,460 --> 00:28:04,101
Better put Dad out his misery.
Just hope he's learnt his lesson.
463
00:28:05,981 --> 00:28:08,940
Uh-oh. That is not good.
464
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,501
Just act natural. You know nothing.
465
00:28:11,581 --> 00:28:12,940
Don't go!
466
00:28:13,021 --> 00:28:14,861
Might be for something else.
467
00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:17,220
It's not the first time
we've had police here.
468
00:28:20,261 --> 00:28:22,101
Please let it be domestic violence.
469
00:28:27,341 --> 00:28:30,700
We're going to do everything we can
to get him back. I promise you.
470
00:28:30,781 --> 00:28:31,741
[door closes]
471
00:28:31,821 --> 00:28:34,460
Sorry, Debbie, you can't be in here.
472
00:28:50,220 --> 00:28:53,741
I thank you so much for coming in
at such short notice.
473
00:28:53,821 --> 00:28:54,861
No worries, love.
474
00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:57,261
I've turned the water off
like you told me to.
475
00:28:59,581 --> 00:29:01,061
God, I've missed that arse.
476
00:29:10,381 --> 00:29:11,341
What you doing?
477
00:29:12,980 --> 00:29:14,541
Sorting through your coupons.
478
00:29:14,621 --> 00:29:17,781
Kind of therapeutic.
479
00:29:17,861 --> 00:29:19,341
You don't need to do that.
480
00:29:19,420 --> 00:29:22,460
Well, if it wasn't for you,
we'd have no food in the fridge,
481
00:29:22,541 --> 00:29:27,101
would we? You're like a little Mussolini,
making all the trains run on time.
482
00:29:27,180 --> 00:29:28,381
Thanks.
483
00:29:29,980 --> 00:29:33,180
-It'll be all right.
-Fucking, no, it...
484
00:29:33,261 --> 00:29:35,141
It won't, Debs. Not this time.
485
00:29:39,741 --> 00:29:42,220
It's all my fault.
486
00:29:42,301 --> 00:29:46,980
"Whomever God wishes to destroy,
he first makes proud."
487
00:29:47,061 --> 00:29:50,381
I drew them all in
with my fool's gold and then...
488
00:29:50,460 --> 00:29:52,541
you know, they took away...
489
00:29:55,021 --> 00:29:56,021
[sobs]
490
00:29:56,101 --> 00:29:58,900
...one of my real treasures.
491
00:30:01,821 --> 00:30:02,980
Liam's next door.
492
00:30:04,460 --> 00:30:05,301
What?
493
00:30:05,381 --> 00:30:09,621
He's fine. Five fingers, each hand.
Ten fingers in all.
494
00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:12,581
Unless you're one of those people
who don't count thumbs as fingers.
495
00:30:12,660 --> 00:30:15,101
What are you talking about?
496
00:30:15,180 --> 00:30:17,861
It was me. I kidnapped him.
497
00:30:19,460 --> 00:30:21,261
[scoffs]
498
00:30:24,220 --> 00:30:26,261
You'd kidnap your own brother?
499
00:30:26,341 --> 00:30:28,460
Only because I wanted you
to tell the truth.
500
00:30:29,501 --> 00:30:32,141
Have you any idea
what you've put me through?!
501
00:30:32,220 --> 00:30:33,741
What you put your fucking mother through?
502
00:30:33,821 --> 00:30:36,980
No, Debbie. No, no.
You've gone too far this time.
503
00:30:37,061 --> 00:30:38,261
I was only trying to help.
504
00:30:38,341 --> 00:30:41,900
You're just interfering, telling me
what to do, as per fucking usual.
505
00:30:41,980 --> 00:30:43,381
So what are you gonna do?
506
00:30:43,460 --> 00:30:44,621
-What?
-About all,
507
00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:46,180
all these people, the police.
508
00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:48,621
-That's not my fucking fault.
-Oh, no, no.
509
00:30:48,700 --> 00:30:52,900
It never is your fault, is it?
You just stumble from moment
510
00:30:52,980 --> 00:30:56,021
to moment, leaving the rest of us
to pick up your shit!
511
00:30:56,101 --> 00:30:58,460
Well, not any more.
You're on your own!
512
00:30:59,821 --> 00:31:01,341
[groans]
513
00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:08,980
[groans]
514
00:31:09,061 --> 00:31:12,381
Dad will be able to sort this,
get us out of here.
515
00:31:12,460 --> 00:31:14,940
Probably knock my teeth out
at the same time, but...
516
00:31:15,021 --> 00:31:16,501
That doesn't help me any more, does it?
517
00:31:16,581 --> 00:31:19,381
I had a really cute guy
lined up last night.
518
00:31:22,261 --> 00:31:24,141
-You've met someone else?
-Yeah.
519
00:31:26,180 --> 00:31:26,980
You're in love with him.
520
00:31:27,061 --> 00:31:28,220
What? No!
521
00:31:31,581 --> 00:31:33,021
So...
522
00:31:36,940 --> 00:31:37,900
Any chance of a blow job?
523
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:39,581
-Mickey!
-Oh, just for fun.
524
00:31:39,660 --> 00:31:41,660
There's nothing else to do.
525
00:31:41,741 --> 00:31:43,980
Be good practice for you too.
526
00:31:45,341 --> 00:31:46,301
Please.
527
00:31:46,381 --> 00:31:48,900
-Don't say please.
-Why? What's wrong with me?
528
00:31:48,980 --> 00:31:50,660
Nothing's wrong with you.
529
00:31:51,420 --> 00:31:54,341
Well, maybe you act a bit desperate.
530
00:31:54,420 --> 00:31:56,061
And you're a little needy.
531
00:31:56,141 --> 00:31:59,180
And you need to, you know,
just go out there. Have a life.
532
00:31:59,261 --> 00:32:01,261
Because me and you, we're just mates.
533
00:32:01,341 --> 00:32:04,061
Nothing more. Just mates.
534
00:32:09,141 --> 00:32:10,781
Just mates.
535
00:32:12,301 --> 00:32:13,341
OK.
536
00:32:17,660 --> 00:32:18,940
A wank, then?
537
00:32:19,021 --> 00:32:20,980
I'm just gonna ignore you
until your dad shows up.
538
00:32:26,061 --> 00:32:28,180
[door opens]
539
00:32:29,900 --> 00:32:30,900
Hello.
540
00:32:34,021 --> 00:32:35,541
Look, Debs.
541
00:32:38,381 --> 00:32:42,021
Cards on the old table. You know,
nothing up the sleeve and that.
542
00:32:42,101 --> 00:32:44,541
-I need your help.
-Of course you do.
543
00:32:44,621 --> 00:32:47,141
But you're not getting it.
544
00:32:47,220 --> 00:32:49,541
Yeah. It's like...
545
00:32:50,621 --> 00:32:52,660
You know,
the Wizard of Oz, right?
546
00:32:52,740 --> 00:32:57,821
I'm standing here, like the cowardly lion,
tin man, gay scarecrow, whatever.
547
00:32:57,900 --> 00:32:59,900
And you're like that man
behind the curtains,
548
00:32:59,980 --> 00:33:02,781
you know, working all the controls.
549
00:33:03,861 --> 00:33:06,261
[sighs]
550
00:33:08,460 --> 00:33:11,101
Basically, I'm fucked, love.
551
00:33:11,180 --> 00:33:12,781
Your head's bleeding.
552
00:33:12,861 --> 00:33:15,420
It was a good shot, wasn't it, bull's-eye.
553
00:33:17,581 --> 00:33:18,781
Here.
554
00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:24,141
Thanks.
555
00:33:25,980 --> 00:33:29,141
So you need to find a way
to get out of everyone thinking
556
00:33:29,220 --> 00:33:30,821
you've won half a million
without them lynching you.
557
00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:31,940
Yeah, that'd be nice.
558
00:33:32,021 --> 00:33:35,261
And get Liam back without the police
charging you for wasting time.
559
00:33:35,341 --> 00:33:37,180
Again, nice.
560
00:33:37,261 --> 00:33:38,541
[sighs]
561
00:33:39,621 --> 00:33:41,180
Good luck with it, then.
562
00:33:55,541 --> 00:33:57,420
-Giro.
-What?
563
00:33:57,501 --> 00:34:00,301
Every fortnight.
ln the housekeeping tin. Your giro.
564
00:34:05,740 --> 00:34:07,940
You know how many strings
I had to pull to get you out of there?
565
00:34:08,021 --> 00:34:09,740
-No.
-Five!
566
00:34:10,621 --> 00:34:12,860
Get in the car!
567
00:34:12,941 --> 00:34:14,260
What's the big hurry?
568
00:34:14,340 --> 00:34:16,141
Liam's got kidnapped.
569
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:17,381
What?
570
00:34:17,461 --> 00:34:20,340
-No, no, it's OK. I was behind it all.
-Jesus!
571
00:34:20,421 --> 00:34:23,141
Yeah, anyway, Carl still didn't believe me
that Dad was full of it,
572
00:34:23,220 --> 00:34:25,101
so Chesney cut off his little finger.
573
00:34:25,180 --> 00:34:27,061
Why the fuck
would Chesney cut off Carl's finger?
574
00:34:27,141 --> 00:34:29,581
No, dumbo,
he chopped off Liam's finger.
575
00:34:29,660 --> 00:34:30,901
Liam's?
576
00:34:30,981 --> 00:34:32,820
Didn't actually do it.
577
00:34:32,901 --> 00:34:36,260
Anyway, Dad's called the police,
and they're taking it really seriously.
578
00:34:36,340 --> 00:34:38,740
They're gonna stop at nothing
to catch the kidnappers.
579
00:34:38,820 --> 00:34:40,820
-Kidnappers being you?
-Bingo.
580
00:34:43,021 --> 00:34:45,141
I don't have a clue what's going on.
581
00:34:45,220 --> 00:34:48,901
Well, you better get an idea fast,
otherwise we're F-U-C-K'd.
582
00:34:48,981 --> 00:34:51,541
All right, all right.
Give me a minute here.
583
00:34:51,621 --> 00:34:52,860
Do you want me to start
from the beginning?
584
00:34:52,941 --> 00:34:55,101
No. Please don't.
585
00:34:57,021 --> 00:34:58,381
Two nights.
586
00:34:58,461 --> 00:35:00,021
Two nights I turn my back.
587
00:35:00,101 --> 00:35:02,501
-Yeah, cheers for returning my calls.
-I was in jail.
588
00:35:02,581 --> 00:35:04,061
It's not a competition, Ian.
589
00:35:05,780 --> 00:35:07,221
So what are we gonna do?
590
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:09,941
First thing you're gonna do
is take it easy and stay low.
591
00:35:10,021 --> 00:35:12,181
You're already too close to it.
592
00:35:12,261 --> 00:35:14,340
But yeah, I've got an idea.
593
00:35:14,421 --> 00:35:17,901
Not sure it's the best idea ever,
but it's the only one I've got.
594
00:35:17,981 --> 00:35:19,381
Is it all right if I borrow this?
595
00:35:20,221 --> 00:35:21,860
You lot are fucking nuts, you know that?
596
00:35:21,941 --> 00:35:23,860
You know what you're doing, yeah?
597
00:35:23,941 --> 00:35:26,261
Just stick to Ian's plan, OK?
598
00:35:26,340 --> 00:35:28,381
And maybe we won't all end up in jail.
599
00:35:28,461 --> 00:35:30,300
Just make sure you don't fuck it up,
600
00:35:30,381 --> 00:35:33,381
the police are gonna be
listening in this time.
601
00:35:33,461 --> 00:35:35,061
[Chesney clears throat]
602
00:35:37,061 --> 00:35:40,581
[mobile rings]
603
00:35:40,661 --> 00:35:41,661
It's them.
604
00:35:41,741 --> 00:35:45,981
[mobile rings]
605
00:35:47,901 --> 00:35:49,261
[police officer] Go on, answer it.
606
00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:50,981
Hello?
607
00:35:51,061 --> 00:35:55,661
Frank, listen carefully.
This is what we want you to do.
608
00:36:01,780 --> 00:36:04,221
Do the button up. Say something.
609
00:36:04,300 --> 00:36:06,061
-Something.
-Loud and clear.
610
00:36:06,141 --> 00:36:09,340
Right. The moment
you get your son, we're in.
611
00:36:09,421 --> 00:36:11,541
We'll take them down,
make sure you get your money back.
612
00:36:11,621 --> 00:36:15,820
No. I don't care about the money.
You don't do anything.
613
00:36:15,901 --> 00:36:18,221
The only thing that matters
is that we get Liam back, that's all.
614
00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:21,421
You going to let these scumbags
walk away with half a million?
615
00:36:21,501 --> 00:36:23,181
You don't have children, do you?
616
00:36:24,181 --> 00:36:25,701
The money doesn't matter!
617
00:36:34,820 --> 00:36:37,141
[whistling]
618
00:36:37,221 --> 00:36:38,340
Er... ladies?
619
00:36:38,421 --> 00:36:41,141
Oh, sorry, love. Official business.
Plumber.
620
00:36:44,021 --> 00:36:45,860
[whistling]
621
00:36:52,741 --> 00:36:55,541
Have to have a word with Ian
about missing his shifts.
622
00:36:55,621 --> 00:36:56,860
What's with the plumber?
623
00:36:56,941 --> 00:36:58,461
What?
624
00:36:58,541 --> 00:37:02,541
Oh, yeah.
He's... He's a mate of mine.
625
00:37:02,621 --> 00:37:05,021
We go way back.
He said he'd take a look.
626
00:37:05,101 --> 00:37:06,461
I had somebody taking a look.
627
00:37:06,541 --> 00:37:08,221
Yeah, well, I decided to let him go.
628
00:37:08,300 --> 00:37:10,340
I just wanted to use someone I knew.
629
00:37:11,461 --> 00:37:13,380
I thought you said you were over this,
630
00:37:13,461 --> 00:37:15,860
and unless you've invented
a time machine or something,
631
00:37:15,941 --> 00:37:17,661
I can't change things, can I?
632
00:37:17,741 --> 00:37:19,461
You know how many people
I've been with?
633
00:37:20,380 --> 00:37:22,261
You can count them on one hand.
634
00:37:22,340 --> 00:37:24,701
Half a hand. Finger and thumb.
635
00:37:25,421 --> 00:37:27,501
So the only way you'll feel equal,
636
00:37:27,581 --> 00:37:30,221
feel comfortable, is if you sleep
with the same amount of people?
637
00:37:30,300 --> 00:37:31,261
Well, go on, then.
638
00:37:31,340 --> 00:37:32,621
Get yourself down to Lillian's,
639
00:37:32,701 --> 00:37:35,221
take the cash card
and don't stop until we're quits.
640
00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:39,101
What, you're telling me to go
and sleep with a bunch of prozzies?
641
00:37:39,181 --> 00:37:42,661
I am telling you that I love you.
642
00:37:42,741 --> 00:37:46,181
And I will do whatever it takes
to make this work.
643
00:37:46,261 --> 00:37:51,820
So whatever it takes for you
to feel normal, just fucking do it.
644
00:37:53,221 --> 00:37:55,741
Now's probably a bad time, right?
645
00:37:55,820 --> 00:37:57,941
-Yeah.
-Right.
646
00:38:04,181 --> 00:38:07,621
-The moment he gets the boy, we move in.
-But Mrs Gallagher said...
647
00:38:07,701 --> 00:38:10,820
I know what she said,
but this is our collar.
648
00:38:10,901 --> 00:38:14,340
No-one leaves that warehouse
without us locking it down.
649
00:38:15,621 --> 00:38:18,741
Approaching the, uh, perimeter... now.
650
00:38:38,901 --> 00:38:40,461
[radio crackles]
651
00:38:48,061 --> 00:38:49,300
Liam! Liam!
652
00:38:50,501 --> 00:38:51,300
Shh.
653
00:38:51,380 --> 00:38:52,421
[door opens]
654
00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:56,541
What do you want?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
655
00:38:56,621 --> 00:38:59,221
It's gone tits up! Go! Go! Go!
656
00:39:02,181 --> 00:39:04,061
You slept with my wife!
657
00:39:04,141 --> 00:39:07,261
-Who the fuck's your wife?
-Karen, you ignorant bastard!
658
00:39:07,340 --> 00:39:12,340
Oh, fucking... That's just
ancient history, it's old news.
659
00:39:12,421 --> 00:39:15,181
I don't care if it was years ago.
You're a dirty fucker.
660
00:39:15,261 --> 00:39:18,541
I might not be able to get every one
of them, but I can start with you!
661
00:39:18,621 --> 00:39:21,461
-And what are you gonna do for an encore?
-You what?
662
00:39:21,541 --> 00:39:23,820
Well, after you've gone
all Captain Caveman on me,
663
00:39:23,901 --> 00:39:27,141
you going to run round the estate,
beating all the others up, eh?
664
00:39:27,221 --> 00:39:29,581
Christ, you'll be busy
for six months. Brilliant!
665
00:39:29,661 --> 00:39:33,221
Meanwhile, little wifey's home alone,
wondering why she married such a catch.
666
00:39:33,300 --> 00:39:37,221
Look, you should just finish it, pal,
if you hate her that much.
667
00:39:37,300 --> 00:39:38,661
I don't hate her.
668
00:39:40,621 --> 00:39:41,581
I love her.
669
00:39:41,661 --> 00:39:44,181
Oh, well, I've got tears in my eyes.
670
00:39:44,261 --> 00:39:45,860
You feel better after that, then?
671
00:39:45,941 --> 00:39:48,261
No. No, I don't.
672
00:39:48,340 --> 00:39:49,581
Look, I think I've got issues.
673
00:39:49,661 --> 00:39:51,340
Welcome to the party.
674
00:39:52,501 --> 00:39:54,101
Aaaaaah! Gotcha!
675
00:39:54,181 --> 00:39:57,541
No, fucking... Just get off,
just let him go, let him go!
676
00:39:57,621 --> 00:39:58,701
What?
677
00:39:59,340 --> 00:40:03,021
He's the big hero round here.
He... He saved my life.
678
00:40:05,461 --> 00:40:07,021
Oh. It's empty!
679
00:40:07,981 --> 00:40:09,421
The bad guys went that way.
680
00:40:09,501 --> 00:40:12,021
Come on!
681
00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:18,141
They got away!
682
00:40:18,221 --> 00:40:20,780
Right, Stan, you go that way.
Tom, you're with me.
683
00:40:20,860 --> 00:40:24,141
[videogame sounds]
684
00:40:27,061 --> 00:40:29,061
[music playing]
685
00:40:31,221 --> 00:40:32,780
I'm really sorry.
686
00:40:44,181 --> 00:40:46,380
It's just...
687
00:40:46,461 --> 00:40:48,461
All those things
I don't know about you...
688
00:40:49,061 --> 00:40:50,741
Nearly drove me crazy.
689
00:40:53,621 --> 00:40:54,421
Here.
690
00:40:59,021 --> 00:41:02,221
That's a list of everybody
I've slept with. So you know everything.
691
00:41:02,300 --> 00:41:06,300
I'm not ashamed of my past,
and I'm not disgusted by it either.
692
00:41:08,101 --> 00:41:09,380
I am glad it led to you.
693
00:41:11,300 --> 00:41:14,021
That's total honesty.
694
00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:23,101
Come here.
695
00:41:29,261 --> 00:41:33,661
Hey, that plumber you hired
tried to hit on me.
696
00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:36,021
Had to kick his arse out the door.
697
00:41:36,101 --> 00:41:38,501
Oh, well, well. Prodigal returns.
698
00:41:38,581 --> 00:41:41,541
-You've missed three shifts.
-And almost fucked up our marriage.
699
00:41:41,621 --> 00:41:44,461
I'm sorry.
What I said earlier, I overreacted.
700
00:41:44,541 --> 00:41:46,181
It's all right, mate. We'll be fine.
701
00:41:46,261 --> 00:41:48,621
I just got to get used
to living with a slut.
702
00:41:48,701 --> 00:41:49,741
She has changed a lot.
703
00:41:50,421 --> 00:41:51,701
I meant you, gayboy.
704
00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:55,820
[Frank] Hey, Calvin Klein!
There's folk dying of thirst out here.
705
00:42:02,541 --> 00:42:03,340
Oh!
706
00:42:05,380 --> 00:42:08,501
I need to clear my credit card, Frank.
Where's the money?
707
00:42:09,901 --> 00:42:12,061
My money? Right.
708
00:42:12,141 --> 00:42:13,820
Dad.
709
00:42:13,901 --> 00:42:15,661
Tell them the truth.
710
00:42:18,061 --> 00:42:20,261
Will you all just shut up?
711
00:42:32,380 --> 00:42:34,820
That'll bring you luck, that, love.
712
00:42:38,340 --> 00:42:41,021
-Really?
-Yeah.
713
00:42:43,380 --> 00:42:46,941
I stand before you today
not as a man,
714
00:42:47,021 --> 00:42:51,021
but as a father
of a very special girl, who...
715
00:42:52,101 --> 00:42:54,101
The point is that...
716
00:42:56,581 --> 00:42:58,300
I didn't win the lottery.
717
00:42:58,380 --> 00:43:01,421
[all gasp]
718
00:43:01,501 --> 00:43:04,261
[man] Typical fucking Gallagher, isn't it?
719
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:05,621
There's no cash.
720
00:43:08,780 --> 00:43:12,101
Not that truth, the other truth!
721
00:43:12,181 --> 00:43:15,421
The kidnapping one! Half a million ransom.
722
00:43:16,261 --> 00:43:17,981
Right.
723
00:43:18,061 --> 00:43:19,141
Idiot!
724
00:43:26,661 --> 00:43:32,101
New tin. Got a key and a lock and all.
Can't trust anyone round here.
725
00:43:40,900 --> 00:43:42,541
Don't worry,
you'll still get your pocket money.
726
00:43:42,621 --> 00:43:45,541
Oh, Debs.
727
00:43:45,621 --> 00:43:48,141
I come from nothing,
and I'll end up with nothing.
728
00:43:48,221 --> 00:43:49,900
You know, what's in between
doesn't matter.
729
00:43:49,981 --> 00:43:52,501
Have a penny, lose a penny.
730
00:43:52,581 --> 00:43:55,340
Hakuna matata. That's me.
731
00:43:58,101 --> 00:43:59,421
Dad...
732
00:44:00,860 --> 00:44:02,101
Spare key, please.
733
00:44:07,701 --> 00:44:09,741
Thank you.
734
00:44:21,261 --> 00:44:24,061
[Liam] Debbie says money
really can't buy you happiness.
735
00:44:27,661 --> 00:44:30,621
Doesn't mean I wouldn't like
to try it every once in a while.
736
00:44:32,221 --> 00:44:35,380
It can, however,
buy you a cappuccino machine,
737
00:44:35,461 --> 00:44:38,461
a widescreen telly,
a trip to Disneyland,
738
00:44:38,541 --> 00:44:42,860
those wrestling action figures which are
kind of gay, but I still want them,
739
00:44:42,941 --> 00:44:46,541
and a pair of trainers that light up
when you walk would be cool.
740
00:44:46,621 --> 00:44:49,021
Maybe even some roller blades.
741
00:44:49,101 --> 00:44:51,981
Oh, fireworks, that'd be mint.
742
00:44:55,340 --> 00:44:56,501
Chatsworth's getting a mayor.
743
00:44:56,581 --> 00:44:57,541
A young mayor?
744
00:44:57,621 --> 00:45:01,061
Chesney is the perfect candidate.
He's smart, cute.
745
00:45:01,141 --> 00:45:02,701
-What are you doing?
-Building a beach.
746
00:45:02,780 --> 00:45:03,741
A beach?
747
00:45:03,820 --> 00:45:06,300
-Are you busy later?
-Fancy buying us a drink?
748
00:45:06,380 --> 00:45:08,860
Yeah.
Fucking prozzie!
749
00:45:08,941 --> 00:45:10,340
-You wanna save me?
-Yes.
750
00:45:10,421 --> 00:45:11,900
Stan, watch!
751
00:45:12,701 --> 00:45:14,820
I'm giving in my notice. My life's over.
752
00:45:14,900 --> 00:45:17,300
[Chesney] I've got
some big plans with that money.
753
00:45:18,581 --> 00:45:20,261
Shane!
754
00:46:02,981 --> 00:46:05,981
[clock ticks]
52839
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