All language subtitles for Hacks 2021 S04E06 Mrs Table 2160p MAX WEB-DL DD 5 1 DoVi HDR H 265-playWEB

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,616 Good morning. 2 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,744 To what do I owe the pleasure of a greeting at the door? 3 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,037 Well, I just wanted to be the first one 4 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,747 to congratulate you on receiving 5 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,415 the Courage in Comedy Award. 6 00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:41,833 Oh. 7 00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:42,959 I haven't heard of that one, but that's nice. 8 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,002 There'll be an event where 9 00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,462 you'll be presented the award, 10 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,630 which is great for, you know, visibility. 11 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,133 Network is sponsoring it, so we'll all be there. 12 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,676 Oh, I see. 13 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,887 So the network is buying publicity for the show 14 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,346 is what you're actually saying? 15 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,639 A shot in the arm couldn't hurt. 16 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,099 Oh, God. 17 00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,601 Please give me some news I can feel good about. 18 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,811 Unfortunately, that was the good news. 19 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,188 The bad news is Cher is 20 00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,647 dropping out as a guest tomorrow. 21 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,524 What? Why? 22 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,692 She, quote, 23 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,611 "Doesn't want to do it." 24 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,821 - God. - Don't worry. 25 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,156 Talent is scrambling. 26 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,033 I will check in with them right now. 27 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,244 Fucking Cher. 28 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:22,624 What's going on? 29 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:23,917 Oh. 30 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,502 Um, I decided we should celebrate 31 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,504 all this month's birthdays in the office at once. 32 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,130 Some people don't like attention 33 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,049 and I don't want to spring non-consensual cupcakes 34 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:34,052 on anyone because, obviously, that can trigger people. 35 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,222 Oh, oh! 36 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,516 Come on. 37 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:40,517 Don't do it again. 38 00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,652 This is an office, not a bowling alley. 39 00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:52,028 I'm just trying to be a good boss. 40 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,404 You don't have to do all this. 41 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,864 It's enough you pay for their lunches. 42 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,116 I don't pay for them. 43 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,742 I subsidize the writers' lunches 44 00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:00,161 because the studio caps orders at $9, 45 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,039 which in your world is the equivalent of one Pellegrino. 46 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,749 When are you going to learn you can't be their friend? 47 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:05,917 Why, because I'm their boss? 48 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,418 No, because you're annoying. 49 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,714 Oh. 50 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,341 I talked to talent. 51 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,677 The new DC show "Wolf Girl" got pushed up, 52 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,221 so we were able to book the lead, Ruby Rojas. 53 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:20,181 Oh. 54 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,558 Ruby Rojas? 55 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,809 That's what I said, yeah. 56 00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,727 Great job, Rob. 57 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,729 Great get. Great get. 58 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,064 Great get. 59 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,649 A-am I missing something? 60 00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:31,442 Yes. Ruby and I dated. 61 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,570 I almost married her, in my opinion. 62 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,780 You're going to have to sign a conflict of interest form. 63 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:41,536 Hello. 64 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:42,996 - Hi. - Yeah. 65 00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,330 Just checking to see if you need anything else 66 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,541 from me before I leave for Wyoming. 67 00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,668 I finally found a supplier that will provide 68 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:50,503 the right amount of bear urine that we need 69 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,963 to keep away the coyotes. 70 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:55,800 It's a proprietary blend of black and grizzly. 71 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,218 Oh, wonderful. 72 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,678 Yeah. I'm really excited about it. 73 00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,513 And where are we on the candle rotation? 74 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,600 Cardamom, cardamom, eucalyptus, sandalwood, 75 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,643 cardamom, and then I'm back on Monday. 76 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,103 Oh, you're gone that long? 77 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,688 Well, the TSA will not give me the exception 78 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,565 to fly with the amount of bear piss that we need, 79 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,859 so I'm renting a U-Haul and driving. 80 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:13,860 Well, have a good trip. 81 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,278 Thank you. See ya. 82 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:20,408 - Hey! - There you are. 83 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:21,951 Yeah, so sorry about the phone tag. 84 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,661 Service is bad in here. 85 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,663 Just finishing up a quick set. 86 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,125 Should you be doing that? 87 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,251 I have to. 88 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,544 Fricking ten days overdue 89 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,087 and this is supposed to trigger labor. 90 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,466 If not, though, we induce on Friday. 91 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,551 Which is kind of why I wanted to talk. 92 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,428 I really feel like I need somebody here 93 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,013 that I trust, you know? 94 00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,057 Oh, honey, I would love to come, 95 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,934 but it really would be risky 96 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,019 for me to bring in a guest host this early. 97 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,104 Oh, no, not you. Josefina. 98 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,606 Oh. 99 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,358 Well, I know how busy the show is. 100 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,859 You know, and you can meet him any time. 101 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,236 Plus, I really don't need 102 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,820 you seeing what I'm eating these days. 103 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,407 Well, Josefina would be happy to, I'm sure. 104 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,575 She loves babies. 105 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:04,911 Thank God. 106 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,537 One word of advice. 107 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,872 Do not let the nurses talk you into breastfeeding. 108 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:08,998 There's absolutely nothing wrong 109 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,333 with giving them baby formula. 110 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,709 As long as it's from Europe. 111 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,253 No, I can't breastfeed. 112 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,380 I don't want to take the rings out. 113 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,007 - Oh! - Did-- 114 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,217 did your water just break? 115 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:22,553 Huh? 116 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:23,930 No, I think that's just piss. 117 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:24,931 Oh. 118 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,657 Excuse me! Hi. 119 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,325 Do you have time for a quick makeover? 120 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,910 Sorry, we're not even open yet. 121 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,578 Please. 122 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,039 I'm not just any customer, I'm an Americana resident. 123 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,207 OK? 124 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,583 I'm seeing my ex today 125 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,128 and she's, like, a 9.5 without makeup. 126 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,462 Damn. 127 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,006 OK, well, let's do it. 128 00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,299 You are getting a beauty mark, though. 129 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:02,885 And I get to decide where and how big. 130 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,095 All right. 131 00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:05,888 Come on. It'll be great. 132 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,394 Hello, hello. 133 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,395 Hey. 134 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,896 Where's my hug? 135 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,064 How are you? 136 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,733 Oh, I'm chilling. 137 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:17,900 - How are you? - Good. 138 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,569 You look great. 139 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,030 Um, I don't think I remember that beauty mark. 140 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,531 Oh, yeah. Well, you know me. 141 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:24,699 Woman of mystery. 142 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:25,783 Oh, shit! 143 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:26,993 - Oh, my God! Are you OK? - I'm good, yeah. 144 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,120 That's chill. This happens all the time. 145 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,288 - You sure? - No worries. 146 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,664 - OK. - Listen, um... 147 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,833 I know you and Deborah 148 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,336 don't have great feelings. 149 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,670 Probably mutually. 150 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,213 Your way or your direction, more so, 151 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,590 but, um, 152 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,216 I just wanted to say I hope-- 153 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:46,471 hope you won't let our stuff affect the interview. 154 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,848 Yeah, um, I'm a professional. 155 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:49,932 I-I think I got it. 156 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,601 Right, right. 157 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:52,643 Cool. 158 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,520 By the way, congrats. 159 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,899 Looks like it was all worth it after all. 160 00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,025 Yeah. 161 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,404 You know, um, I ran into Fabriziana. 162 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,156 She said you were seeing someone. 163 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:07,033 I'm really happy for you, by the way. 164 00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:09,994 Thank you. Yes, um, I am. 165 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,538 I'm sorry if it was weird hearing it from her. 166 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,748 No, no. 167 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,416 And I'm sorry if it's weird 168 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,627 for you to hear that I'm also seeing someone. 169 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:18,628 Great. 170 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:19,629 As well as another person. 171 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:20,922 - Two people. - Oh. 172 00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:22,799 I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. 173 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,258 Love. 174 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:27,512 Being supah bi. 175 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:30,014 Amazing. 176 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,057 Ch-ch-ch-- 177 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,266 anyway, um, great to see you. 178 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:33,351 I should probably head-- 179 00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,353 head on down to, uh, 180 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:36,896 the trenches. 181 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,439 Because we're, uh-- 182 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,732 we're doing a desk bit tonight that I pitched. 183 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,025 It's super funny. I got to go finalize it. 184 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,026 Can't wait to see it. 185 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,403 - Super funny. - I bet. 186 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,529 Have fun out there. 187 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,657 Listen, hey... 188 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,450 razzle-dazzle 'em. 189 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:54,956 Hey, we really can't have these falling off the wall, OK? 190 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:55,957 Thank you. 191 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,256 Hey. 192 00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:04,757 Here are the jokes for the apologies bit. 193 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,561 I like these three. The rest we need to beat. 194 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:17,687 You only liked three? 195 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,106 Yes. Where are the alts? 196 00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,108 These are the alts. There are 20 jokes here. 197 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,734 Well, then we need more. 198 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,570 We shoot in an hour. 199 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:28,114 Well, then you have half an hour to write me better jokes. 200 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,870 OK! 201 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,413 All hands on deck. 202 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,956 We need more jokes for the apologies desk bit. 203 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,666 I'll type fast. Go! 204 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,460 - Uh, um-- - Uh-- 205 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:43,254 Uh, Deborah apologizes to the floor, um, 206 00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,630 for always stepping on it in high heels. 207 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,007 OK. What else? 208 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,550 Deborah apologizes, uh, to science, 209 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,469 because she could have cured cancer or something 210 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,095 because she's so smart, 211 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,638 but that's not where her heart was at in undergrad. 212 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,474 She, like, wanted to do stuff. 213 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,892 - More fun stuff. - OK. What else? 214 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,310 Deborah is sorry to the grocery stores 215 00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,853 that she doesn't buy anything there. 216 00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:00,146 Because she doesn't eat. 217 00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:01,481 Because she's really weird about food. 218 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,648 No, I get it. It's just not funny. 219 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:03,858 What else? 220 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,111 Come on, come on. 221 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,696 Great. 222 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,099 Here. Five pages of jokes. 223 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,685 Five pages? 224 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,312 There's too many alts. 225 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,897 There was just not enough. Now there's too many? 226 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,066 Well, I don't have time to go through all of them. 227 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,317 Can you narrow it down? 228 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,818 Well, I think they're all good. 229 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,987 Well, which ones are the strongest? 230 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,864 Let me see. 231 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,407 Maybe-- 232 00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,535 You know, it's quite literally your job 233 00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,786 to pick the best ones. 234 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,120 I know. I just don't know 235 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,247 what the woman who likes wine o'clock 236 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,498 thinks are the best ones. 237 00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:01,624 What is it exactly you do here? 238 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,042 Just print jokes out? 239 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,044 You're a glorified Kinko's employee now? 240 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,505 Well, actually, there is no more Kinko's. 241 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,423 I mean, there's FedEx Kinko's, which is pretty sad. 242 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:10,800 Oh, my God, Stacey! 243 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,346 OK, this one. 244 00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:17,765 Does that put us in an anti-Irish barrel? 245 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,058 Fuck. 246 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,726 Do people know that Garfield was also 247 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,186 - the name of a president? - OK, forget it, forget it. 248 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,521 We're--we're cutting the bit. 249 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,022 - No! - Yes. 250 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,482 - We have to fill the minutes. - I know, I know. 251 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,650 Just go tell Ruby we're cutting the desk bit. 252 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,651 We'll need her for another act. 253 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:29,735 Come on! 254 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,445 No, no. We are done here. 255 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,784 Deborah, quick. What's your lip combo? 256 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:40,913 Iconic. 257 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:41,956 Hey, you. 258 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:42,957 Do you have the time? 259 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,500 Yeah, it's midnight. 260 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,043 Are you going to turn into a pumpkin? 261 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,546 You wish. Try wolf! 262 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,298 Oh, no! 263 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,260 Whoa! 264 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,803 Ferocious. 265 00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,179 Reminds me of myself 266 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,681 when Saks won't let me make a return. 267 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,518 But I want to know where you got that fabulous jacket. 268 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,061 Oh, that one. 269 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,771 Um, yeah, that may have disappeared from set. 270 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,732 Oh, naughty, naughty Wolf Girl. 271 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,609 I have a bit of a problem, Deborah. 272 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:10,943 I'm a bit of a klepto. 273 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,404 I took the jacket, the boots, the ring. 274 00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:14,655 - I think I-- - Oh. 275 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,324 And the ring that you mentioned. 276 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,951 Uh, I hear you might have a very funny story about that, 277 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,454 possibly concerning an ex-girlfriend? 278 00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:26,626 I'm surprised you knew about that. 279 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,252 I mean... 280 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,754 it is a funny story. 281 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,422 OK. Who wants to hear it? 282 00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:34,550 OK. 283 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,093 So before we were shooting "Wolf Girl," 284 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,345 I was living in LA. 285 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,639 I was prepping, training 24/7, 286 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,349 and they sent me home with the ring 287 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:42,975 to practice wielding the flail. 288 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,226 Oh, yeah. 289 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,645 Wielding the flail is a lost art. 290 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,563 Truly. 291 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,566 Anyway, my girlfriend at the time, she was home, 292 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,818 and, um, she found the ring. 293 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,655 And you can guess what she assumed. 294 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,906 Uh-oh. 295 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,991 Here come the brides. 296 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,036 Actually, she thought she'd beat me to the punch 297 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,706 and she proposed to me first with Wolf Girl's ring. 298 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:06,957 Oh, how embarrassing. Oh, God. 299 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,751 - No, no, no, no, no. - Oh, yeah. 300 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,003 Um, she got down on one knee. 301 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,421 - No. - Uh-huh. 302 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,382 It was very awkward. 303 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,134 Oh, and with a bezel marquise cut, too. 304 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,427 No wonder she's an ex. 305 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:28,187 Up next, Dance Mom! 306 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,281 Ava. I'm so sorry. 307 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,700 She totally caught me off guard. 308 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:41,909 - I would have-- - No, it was great. 309 00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:43,869 It was great TV. 310 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:44,870 I'm sorry. 311 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,873 It was hilarious. 312 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:48,958 It's hilarious. 313 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,011 Hi, Deborah. DJ's doing fine. 314 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,555 She goes in at 11:00 a.m. tomorrow. 315 00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:04,014 We'll call you after. 316 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,058 And don't forget to lock the doggy door 317 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,977 at night because of the coyotes. 318 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:09,854 OK, bye-bye. 319 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:13,065 She thinks I don't know how to take care of you. 320 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,609 But we're going to be just fine on our own, aren't we? 321 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,278 Yeah. 322 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:18,487 Yeah. 323 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:22,575 Oh, Cara. Oh, did you just fart? 324 00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:23,868 Oh, honey. 325 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,244 Ah, jeez. 326 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,003 Jesus. 327 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,798 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 328 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,216 Did not mean to scare you. 329 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,342 It's OK. 330 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,385 We just... 331 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,845 weren't expecting you tonight. 332 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,473 No, I know, I'm sorry. I just--I had a hard day. 333 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:48,017 I was hoping we could hang. 334 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,770 I'm sorry, babe. 335 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,313 Uh, whoa. 336 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:53,856 Uh-- what are you-- 337 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,191 Sorry. 338 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,152 I was just trying to kiss you, I guess. 339 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:04,325 I mean, do you want to talk about what happened today? 340 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:05,659 Honestly, no. 341 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,245 I was hoping we could, like, hook up. 342 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:10,873 Oh. 343 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,835 What? 344 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,087 Um... 345 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,965 Maybe you better take a seat. 346 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,050 OK. 347 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:26,889 What's up? 348 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:32,603 It kind of feels like this is mostly about sex for you. 349 00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,438 Mm... 350 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,023 yeah. 351 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:38,275 Is that crazy? 352 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,277 Uh, Em and I were talking 353 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,238 and it seems like you don't want to 354 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,282 get to know us past a certain level. 355 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,452 And that you don't want us to get to know you. 356 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,120 What do you mean? 357 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,956 You guys know me. 358 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,624 Ava Daniels. 359 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:54,834 Waltham's own. 360 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,126 Recently became allergic to shrimp. 361 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,753 We were kind of looking for someone 362 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,090 who would connect with us emotionally as well. 363 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,133 Yeah. We're not just sex freaks. 364 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,219 We did meet at a sex shop. 365 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,638 Yeah, but you're not vulnerable with us. 366 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,890 And we were hoping that that would eventually change, 367 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,725 but it hasn't. 368 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:15,020 And I don't want you to think we're diagnosing you, but... 369 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,439 kind of seems like you're not over your last relationship. 370 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:23,487 What do you mean? 371 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,573 Well, I... 372 00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,991 think she really hurt you 373 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:30,411 and you're afraid of getting hurt again. 374 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,499 You guys don't know what you're talking about. 375 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,127 Oh, OK. 376 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:42,006 Um, maybe we should just... 377 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:44,717 pump the brakes, hit pause on this. 378 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,888 OK, like, all three of us? 379 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:49,889 No. 380 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,765 We opened the circle to you, 381 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:56,061 and now we are asking you to leave the circle. 382 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:59,565 You guys want to be monogamous now? 383 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,025 No, we're dumping you, 384 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,277 and you're making it really hard. 385 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,826 Ava, wait. 386 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,123 Can we get our key back? 387 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,170 Yeah. 388 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:26,592 I tossed you both. 389 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:27,843 Can I have mine? 390 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,428 Sorry, those-- mine are on there. 391 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,180 Yeah. 392 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,313 I'm really proud of you for that. 393 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,522 Good work. 394 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,690 You drew a boundary. 395 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,783 I'm so excited. 396 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,368 Yeah, OK. So what is this? 397 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,911 Fritos is sponsoring the night, 398 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,162 so you're going to pretend to catch a bag of Fritos 399 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:57,331 from Mariska Hargitay. 400 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:58,332 OK. 401 00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,416 OK, ready? 402 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,170 Thanks, Mariska. 403 00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:05,839 Perfect. Now throw it. 404 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,007 - Anywhere? - Yeah, yeah. 405 00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:08,133 Throw it that way. 406 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,468 Yeah. 407 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,011 Awesome. 408 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,054 And LL Cool J is going to catch that from you. 409 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,180 OK. 410 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,640 Hey. 411 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,225 Next time, you want to give me a heads up 412 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,935 before you humiliate me on national television? 413 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,895 Well, if you'd had the jokes ready for the desk bit, 414 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,648 I wouldn't have had to extend Ruby's interview. 415 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,191 It's not my fault your messy love life 416 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:26,276 is funnier than the material you write. 417 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,028 Fuck you. 418 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,451 OK, and now we are going to 419 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,537 wish Dakota Fanning a happy birthday. 420 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,747 Ready? And go. 421 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,249 Happy birthday, Dakota. 422 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,667 - Fanning. - Fanning. 423 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,545 "Happy birthday, Dakota Fanning." 424 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:45,754 Please. 425 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,297 Happy birthday, Dakota Fanning. 426 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,383 She is going to love that. 427 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,052 Hey. 428 00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,679 So Fallon did 429 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,055 a "Freaky Friday" Supreme Court sketch last night. 430 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,390 Oh, fuck, really? 431 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:57,933 - Mm-hmm. - OK. 432 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,560 Uh, I'll work through lunch with the writers. 433 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:00,728 We'll figure something else out. 434 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:01,729 Thank you. 435 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,897 Uh, and the affiliate copy? 436 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,899 Sorry, I--I forgot. 437 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,776 I'll--I'll get it to you. 438 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,154 And I got your email about an iPad giveaway? 439 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:11,447 I don't want a free iPad. 440 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,448 I was hacked. 441 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,950 My mom wired them 2,300, so. 442 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,285 OK. 443 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,288 Sorry guys, we're going to have to work through lunch. 444 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:20,706 There's just too much to do, and I-- 445 00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:24,001 Hi! Sorry I'm late. 446 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,335 Well, it's lunch. 447 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:26,920 That's not late, that's missing the day. 448 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,673 I was at the orthodontist. 449 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,300 Tooth gem. 450 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,343 You were at the orthodontist getting a tooth gem? 451 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,720 Yeah. 452 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,597 So it's not for a medical reason, then? 453 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,016 Um, mental health. 454 00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:40,267 Smiling without a tooth gem was 455 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,352 really affecting my self-esteem. 456 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,438 OK, well, next time, can you just let me know 457 00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,023 if you're planning on missing half the day? 458 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,191 I texted the chat. 459 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,192 - Who? - What chat? 460 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,443 I didn't get it. 461 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,032 Oh, I get it. 462 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,533 You guys have a group text without me? 463 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,576 - No. - It's-- 464 00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:58,577 - No. - No. 465 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,037 Guys, just--just tell her. 466 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,997 Directness is kindness. 467 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,916 OK. 468 00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:05,501 Yes. 469 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:08,212 But it's just to, like, talk about assignments 470 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,797 so we don't bore you with questions. 471 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,131 Or memes. 472 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:14,134 Or, like, what movie we're going to see. 473 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,178 OK. 474 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:18,680 I've been on staff before. I know how it is. 475 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:19,932 I'm the boss, so. 476 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:26,021 Whoa, branzino? 477 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,190 Who's Mrs. Table? 478 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,942 Oh. 479 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:33,654 Well, sometimes we just order extra food for the table. 480 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,490 We--we call it Mrs. Table. 481 00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:41,370 You ordered a whole bone-in branzino for the table? 482 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:42,955 Well, sometimes it's branzino. 483 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,957 Sometimes it's fries. 484 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,835 Sometimes it's lobster rolls. 485 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,503 Lobster rolls? 486 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:50,587 Yeah. 487 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:56,885 I have been subsidizing lobster rolls? 488 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,762 For Mrs. Table? 489 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,764 A not-real person? 490 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:05,519 A not-real person is getting $48 branzino? 491 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,562 $72. 492 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,397 This is so disrespectful! 493 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,524 I am working so hard! 494 00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:13,861 I get here every morning at 5:30 on the dot. 495 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,196 One time, I walked in on the janitor jerking off 496 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,948 because he didn't think anyone else was here, 497 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,616 and I didn't report it 498 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,703 because he probably doesn't get paid a living wage! 499 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:23,954 And by the way, 500 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,497 branzino doesn't travel well. 501 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,583 You should never order it to go! 502 00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:31,879 I quit! 503 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,343 We shouldn't have told her about the text chain. 504 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,060 No! 505 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:48,979 Slow down! 506 00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:50,480 Slow down! No! 507 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:51,648 Oh, my God! 508 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,609 This bitch is crazy! 509 00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:54,693 Damn! 510 00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,949 I nominate Barry Keoghan to do the Chicken Dance Challenge 511 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,576 to support arthritis. 512 00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,870 Arthritis research. We don't support arthritis. 513 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,496 Hey, sorry to interrupt. 514 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,540 Just flagging that Ava's been gone since lunch, 515 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:09,791 and I have not been able to reach her. 516 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,418 Did she have Chipotle? 517 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:13,295 That usually takes up the next two to three hours. 518 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,464 Apparently she had some kind of a meltdown. 519 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:16,924 She told the writers she quit, 520 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,050 and then according to security, 521 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,384 she drove through the gate. 522 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,928 Like, drove through it. 523 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:21,929 Oh, God. 524 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,680 Um, OK. 525 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,225 Um, well, so what do we do? 526 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,228 I mean, we do the show without her. 527 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,771 Sure. 528 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,231 But, you know, maybe we could delay the taping 529 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:33,649 by 30 minutes or so in case she shows up. 530 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:34,983 No, you've got the award thing right after. 531 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,777 Oh, right. 532 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:37,986 - OK. - Sorry. 533 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:38,987 I just wanted you to know. 534 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,697 Sure. Thanks. 535 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:43,659 OK, next up, we have the Twist and Shout Challenge 536 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,202 to help infants with scoliosis. 537 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,286 Are you ready? 538 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,122 I'm sorry to my personal assistants 539 00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:50,958 numbers three through seven. 540 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:54,086 Just because you are gay does not make you detail-oriented. 541 00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:55,587 And I should have had more grace. 542 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:07,266 And thank you to Al Gore and GloRilla. 543 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,809 See you tomorrow night. 544 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,479 Whoo! 545 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,607 That was great. 546 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,109 - We didn't need to push. - Yeah. 547 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,485 I'm going to head to the edit. 548 00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,569 I'll see you at the awards ceremony. 549 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,530 OK. 550 00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,024 Hey, Deborah. 551 00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,317 Your car is waiting outside. 552 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,776 Thanks. OK. 553 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,339 You got to leave that marriage, you know? 554 00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:22,341 Oh, there she is. 555 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,009 The bravest woman in comedy. 556 00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:25,510 Oh, please. 557 00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:27,054 Any woman who goes on Bill Maher 558 00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:28,305 is the bravest woman in comedy. 559 00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:29,306 I hear you on that. 560 00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:30,307 Give me a little love. 561 00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:31,308 Hey, nice to see you. 562 00:22:31,391 --> 00:22:32,351 Nice to see you. 563 00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:33,977 Oh, God. 564 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,520 Thank you for doing this ridiculous network stunt. 565 00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:36,813 Hey, come on now. 566 00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:37,898 Don't do that. 567 00:22:37,981 --> 00:22:39,191 It's a tough town. 568 00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:41,068 You got to celebrate every little win. 569 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,944 It's a fake award, Ro. 570 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,696 Yes. I have many of them at home. 571 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,491 Remember, you were there 572 00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,242 when I got that Crystal Pepsi Award for... 573 00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:51,161 Clarity in Comedy. 574 00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:54,289 So tell me, how's the show going? 575 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:58,085 You know, some days are good, and you know, some aren't. 576 00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,753 Yeah, I understand. 577 00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:02,005 Some days you want to pull your hair out. 578 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,465 But other days, 579 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,133 you're sitting there laughing your ass off 580 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,344 with some of your favorite people in the whole world. 581 00:23:07,427 --> 00:23:09,262 You got to focus on that. 582 00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:12,265 Because to tell you the truth, that's what I miss the most. 583 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,603 So, you do ayahuasca? 584 00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:17,687 What do you mean? 585 00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,231 I mean how did all this happen? 586 00:23:19,314 --> 00:23:20,941 Oh, well, that was just, you know, 587 00:23:21,024 --> 00:23:24,361 hard work, timing, and you know, a lot of luck. 588 00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:26,446 No, you got better. 589 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,031 You don't just get better. 590 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:29,699 Comedy is like sports. 591 00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:33,078 Nobody starts dunking at 60 years old. 592 00:23:33,161 --> 00:23:35,997 I guess I just found my voice. 593 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,416 You know, we all evolve. 594 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:39,126 I mean, you've evolved. 595 00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,044 Yeah, it only took me five kids, 596 00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:43,505 two nervous breakdowns, and a lot of Ozempic. 597 00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:45,132 But yes, I've evolved. 598 00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:47,300 And I'm glad I can be here for your fake award. 599 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:50,595 - Now let's make it quick. - Oh, God, please. 600 00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,764 By the way, I can't stay for your speech. 601 00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:53,932 Don't be pissed. 602 00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:58,186 Without further ado, I'm honored to present 603 00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,938 the Courage in Comedy Award 604 00:24:00,021 --> 00:24:02,274 to a woman who never let fear stop her. 605 00:24:02,357 --> 00:24:04,109 What choice did she have, really? 606 00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:05,610 I mean, I've seen her house, 607 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:06,987 and she has to pay for that mortgage. 608 00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:08,488 She's going to be working forever. 609 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,157 And I, for one, hope she does. 610 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,325 Please welcome the iconic Deborah Vance. 611 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,081 Mm. 612 00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:23,170 Oh, Cara, baby. 613 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,713 Hello, sweetie. 614 00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:26,339 Where's Barry, huh? 615 00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:29,593 Where's your brother? 616 00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:33,013 Barry? 617 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:35,640 Barry. 618 00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:36,641 Where are you? 619 00:24:38,101 --> 00:24:39,102 Barry? 620 00:24:40,979 --> 00:24:42,272 Mama's home. 621 00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:45,108 Barry? 622 00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:49,779 Barry? 623 00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:52,199 Barry! 624 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,241 Come on! Where are you? 625 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:54,576 Mama's home. 626 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:55,702 Where are you? 627 00:24:57,537 --> 00:24:58,538 Barry? 628 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:02,417 Huh? 629 00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:05,128 Oh, my God, how did you get outside? 630 00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:07,130 Oh, no! 631 00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:08,173 Oh, God! 632 00:25:08,256 --> 00:25:09,633 No! Jesus! 633 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:15,055 No! No! 634 00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:21,937 You're OK. You're OK. 635 00:25:24,397 --> 00:25:26,066 Oh, oh, are you OK? 636 00:25:26,149 --> 00:25:28,360 Are you OK, honey? Are you OK? 637 00:25:38,912 --> 00:25:40,705 I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, baby. 638 00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:42,332 I'm sorry. 639 00:25:42,415 --> 00:25:44,834 I should have protected you. 640 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,628 I should have protected you. 641 00:26:06,773 --> 00:26:08,149 Have you seen a lesbian ginger? 642 00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:10,193 - No, sorry. - Thanks for nothing. 643 00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:12,028 - God. - Hi. 644 00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:13,655 - Any luck? - No. 645 00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:15,448 We just checked her apartment. She's not there. 646 00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:16,908 I'm looking in Silver Lake. Call me if you find her. 647 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:18,827 Kayla, come on. We're not getting Wetzel's. 648 00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:20,287 Jimmy, hate to say it, 649 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:21,580 but statistically at this point, 650 00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,331 we're looking for a body. 651 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,458 I don't understand. She just left? 652 00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,043 What even happened? 653 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:28,878 Hello--Deborah? 654 00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,672 She hung up on me. Unbelievable. 655 00:26:56,323 --> 00:26:57,574 Oh, I'm sorry. 656 00:26:57,657 --> 00:26:59,117 I--I thought you were somebody else. 657 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,827 I'm sorry. What-- what is everybody lined up for? 658 00:27:00,910 --> 00:27:01,911 Oh, we're here for Girl Twirl, 659 00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:04,331 a night of queer line dancing. 660 00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:05,665 Perfect. 661 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,336 Um, have you seen this woman? 662 00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:10,837 Uh... 663 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:11,963 I don't know her. 664 00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:13,214 No? Anybody? 665 00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:16,009 I-I-I'm trying to find this girl. 666 00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:17,802 I'm trying to find this girl. 667 00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:19,220 Anybody? 668 00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:20,930 Do you have Find My iPhone enabled for her? 669 00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,307 Oh, I think I might, yeah. 670 00:27:22,390 --> 00:27:26,227 Can you--can you help me find my Find My? 671 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:28,021 OK. 672 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:32,317 - There she is. - Thank you. 673 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:33,985 Thank you. 674 00:28:01,262 --> 00:28:02,889 Ava! 675 00:28:08,353 --> 00:28:09,396 Ava, no! 676 00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:10,772 No! God, no! 677 00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:12,732 Ava, you can't swim! 678 00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:14,150 Ava! 679 00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:15,151 No! 680 00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:16,778 No, no! 681 00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:33,503 What the fuck? 682 00:28:33,586 --> 00:28:34,838 What the hell are you doing? 683 00:28:34,921 --> 00:28:36,131 Uh, I-I'm sorry. 684 00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:37,924 I thought you were somebody else. 685 00:28:38,007 --> 00:28:38,925 What the hell are you doing? 686 00:28:39,008 --> 00:28:40,343 I'm night swimming. 687 00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:42,011 Oh. It's frigid! 688 00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:43,930 I'm training for the Polar Bear Plunge! 689 00:28:44,013 --> 00:28:44,931 Back off! 690 00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:47,934 OK. 691 00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:06,369 Deborah? 692 00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:10,081 What the hell are you doing? 693 00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,332 I-- 694 00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:13,084 L-looking for you! 695 00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:15,587 I thought you were drowning yourself. 696 00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:17,505 Oh, my God, no. 697 00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:21,259 You--you drove through a gate and disappeared! 698 00:29:21,342 --> 00:29:22,552 Yeah. 699 00:29:22,635 --> 00:29:25,263 I'm not suicidal, I just want to die. 700 00:29:25,346 --> 00:29:26,556 What? 701 00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:28,975 I'm not actually gonna self-harm, OK? 702 00:29:29,058 --> 00:29:30,226 And if I was going to kill myself, 703 00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:31,519 I wouldn't do it Virginia Woolf style 704 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,396 and walk into the freezing ocean. 705 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,565 I'd do pills or wear a suicide vest on-- 706 00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:37,275 "Watch What Happens Live." 707 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,361 Shit, your lips are blue. Come on. 708 00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:41,946 Come on. 709 00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:44,407 Oh, my God. 710 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,497 Oh, thank you. 711 00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:51,831 Here you go. 712 00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:53,041 Sorry, I know you guys are closing soon. 713 00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:54,334 No, it's on the house. 714 00:29:54,417 --> 00:29:55,627 - The hoodie, too. - Oh. 715 00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:56,920 I'm a big fan. 716 00:29:57,003 --> 00:29:58,505 Can I get a selfie? 717 00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,133 Not tonight, sweetie. 718 00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:03,551 OK. 719 00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:04,803 Respect. 720 00:30:09,557 --> 00:30:10,725 Mmm. 721 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,018 Thanks for trying to save my life. 722 00:30:12,101 --> 00:30:13,645 Or whoever's life that was. 723 00:30:13,728 --> 00:30:15,647 I... 724 00:30:15,730 --> 00:30:18,650 appreciate you ruining your second-favorite fur as well. 725 00:30:20,568 --> 00:30:23,488 So why were you at the beach? 726 00:30:23,571 --> 00:30:24,489 I don't know. 727 00:30:24,572 --> 00:30:25,865 Um... 728 00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:28,201 I just got in my car and drove. 729 00:30:28,284 --> 00:30:30,537 I--I was just trying to get away from everything 730 00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:32,497 and I ended up at the beach. 731 00:30:32,580 --> 00:30:35,750 Which is, like, so embarrassing now that I say it out loud. 732 00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:38,962 It's so first thought after a breakdown. 733 00:30:39,045 --> 00:30:40,672 A little bit, yeah. 734 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,884 And, um, I don't know if you heard, but I quit. 735 00:30:50,014 --> 00:30:51,182 You're the youngest head writer 736 00:30:51,266 --> 00:30:53,101 in the history of late night. 737 00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:55,770 You can't just quit. 738 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:58,439 Well, I did. 739 00:30:58,523 --> 00:30:59,941 And I do. 740 00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:02,527 Listen, you're up and down in this career. 741 00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:04,821 Right now, you're up. 742 00:31:04,904 --> 00:31:06,114 But if you walk away, 743 00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:07,657 I'm telling you, one day you'll regret it. 744 00:31:07,740 --> 00:31:09,450 I won't. 745 00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:11,744 I suck shit at this fucking job. 746 00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:13,955 You were right. I never should have taken it. 747 00:31:14,038 --> 00:31:16,457 I wasn't the right person for it. 748 00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:17,834 The only reason you were failing 749 00:31:17,917 --> 00:31:19,335 is because I set you up to fail. 750 00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:20,545 I'm sorry. 751 00:31:22,463 --> 00:31:24,924 Give me another chance. 752 00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:26,467 Please. 753 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:27,886 Even though I probably don't deserve one. 754 00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:30,763 You don't. 755 00:31:30,847 --> 00:31:33,057 I promise I'll make it up to you. 756 00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:35,226 Don't say that. 757 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,645 Please don't say that. 758 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,398 Because when you say that, I want to believe you. 759 00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:44,235 But you always let me down. 760 00:31:46,195 --> 00:31:47,614 I won't. 761 00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:48,698 This time. 762 00:31:50,617 --> 00:31:52,285 I can't trust you. 763 00:31:52,368 --> 00:31:54,537 I understand why you feel that way, 764 00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:56,164 but I'm begging you. 765 00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:01,711 What do I have to do, run back into that ocean? 766 00:32:01,794 --> 00:32:03,046 Because I will. 767 00:32:03,129 --> 00:32:05,632 Even if I did come back... 768 00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:08,301 I don't know if I can do the job. 769 00:32:08,384 --> 00:32:10,845 I don't even know your voice anymore. 770 00:32:13,556 --> 00:32:15,391 You are my voice. 771 00:32:23,232 --> 00:32:25,026 But I kind of hate you now. 772 00:32:28,237 --> 00:32:30,698 Uh, so? 773 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:32,659 Lots of people do. 774 00:32:32,742 --> 00:32:34,994 You're part of a vibrant community. 775 00:32:42,251 --> 00:32:45,004 I can't write a show that appeals to millions of people. 776 00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:47,090 I-I was wrong to focus on them. 777 00:32:47,173 --> 00:32:48,508 We can't make it for them. 778 00:32:48,591 --> 00:32:49,926 We have to make it for each other. 779 00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:54,180 We'll probably never make it out of last place, so... 780 00:32:54,263 --> 00:32:56,724 we should at least try to have fun. 781 00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:57,809 Yeah. 782 00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:02,647 I haven't had fun in a long time. 783 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:05,650 Me either. 784 00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:18,287 I guess I do have to make fun of Stacey to someone. 785 00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:22,375 Please. 786 00:33:22,458 --> 00:33:23,751 I mean, how do you tell an HR person 787 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:25,086 they need to wear deodorant? 788 00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,879 - I mean, that is a trap. - Oh, I did. 789 00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:28,965 She said she doesn't sweat that much and doesn't need it. 790 00:33:29,048 --> 00:33:30,717 I was thinking, girl, you do. 791 00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:34,804 It's not up to you. It's up to us, actually. 792 00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:44,188 Hold on a second. 793 00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:04,584 What is that? 794 00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:12,341 Something we should have shared a long time ago. 795 00:34:21,851 --> 00:34:24,479 Yeah, it's been in my trunk for months. 796 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:25,855 Yeah, it's awful. 797 00:34:25,938 --> 00:34:27,065 Yeah. 798 00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:33,738 I saw Stacey in the kitchen 799 00:34:33,821 --> 00:34:35,239 eating a banana with the peel on. 800 00:34:35,323 --> 00:34:36,908 - You did not! - Peel on. 801 00:34:36,991 --> 00:34:38,993 - That's a lie! - Like a corn on the cob. 50140

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